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    My wife asked me to get married to a second wife.

    Assalamoalykum Wa'Rahmatullah Wa'Barakat,

    Respected brothers and sisters in Islam, I hope you are all doing fine InshaAllah. I am a new member to this site. I have been married for 12 years and Alhamdolillah Allah has blessed me with three very gorgeous kids. I love my wife and kids and I endeavour to fulfil their rights. My wife and I we both recently turned 40. There has been a certain level of decline in my wife's health and sharp decline in her physical relation towards me. This could be due to several reasons i.e. looking after kids. She is a very good mum and very understanding wife indeed.

    Recently, on three different occasions she has asked me to get a second wife. For the first time I ignored her. 2nd time I asked her the reasons and when she asked me the third time, I became seriously concerned. After long discussions, I now understand her reasons are for the sake of Allah (I can not go into too much details).

    I never thought of getting married to a 2nd wife before this. But, when I see lots of muslim sisters (divorced, widows or singles) struggling to find the right companionship, I started thinking of a 2nd wife. I am engineer by profession and I think I can afford to have another wife.

    Any advise?

    JazakAllah Khair

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    meow Abisali's Avatar
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    Re: My wife asked me to get married to a second wife.

    Nothing wrong to marry a second wife, and it is even better that your first wife supports it. Just make sure that you will be able to give both wives their Islamic rights and treat them equally, such as providing each of them a place to live, providing food, clothes and spending equal time with both.

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    Re: My wife asked me to get married to a second wife.

    Alaikuma wasalam

    If I were you I would say Alhamdulillah for the wife you have now,Fear Allah swt and follow the sunnah to the best of your ability.

    Best to consult those men who have taken this on themselves,they are best to advise you in this matter
    all the advice I am able to give is above,sorry I can't be of more help.

    May Allah bless you in what you have and bless you in what you receive of his bounty. ameen

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    Re: My wife asked me to get married to a second wife.

    Quote Originally Posted by sm_gill View Post
    Assalamoalykum Wa'Rahmatullah Wa'Barakat,

    Respected brothers and sisters in Islam, I hope you are all doing fine InshaAllah. I am a new member to this site. I have been married for 12 years and Alhamdolillah Allah has blessed me with three very gorgeous kids. I love my wife and kids and I endeavour to fulfil their rights. My wife and I we both recently turned 40. There has been a certain level of decline in my wife's health and sharp decline in her physical relation towards me. This could be due to several reasons i.e. looking after kids. She is a very good mum and very understanding wife indeed.

    Recently, on three different occasions she has asked me to get a second wife. For the first time I ignored her. 2nd time I asked her the reasons and when she asked me the third time, I became seriously concerned. After long discussions, I now understand her reasons are for the sake of Allah (I can not go into too much details).

    I never thought of getting married to a 2nd wife before this. But, when I see lots of muslim sisters (divorced, widows or singles) struggling to find the right companionship, I started thinking of a 2nd wife. I am engineer by profession and I think I can afford to have another wife.

    Any advise?

    JazakAllah Khair


    I am very pro-polygamy myself, though not necessarily for myself, however I think it has to be done by the right people, or else it is a drama, and often a disaster.

    So you mention finances... yes that is good, but in my opinion this is the least important of the three traits for successfully carrying out polygamy.

    You also need to be able to lead the house as a man, and carry the respect of two women... not an easy task.
    and you need to sure beyond reasonable doubt you can be just.

    Here is an article I wrote on the subject a few months ago.

    https://gingerbeardmansite.wordpress...gamy-catch-22/
    FOLLOW THE NEW BLOG - GINGERBEARDMAN - Muslim, father, husband, writer, defender of ginger rights!

    www.facebook.com/outreach4Islam - Outreach4Islam have been working together in Leicester, calling the not yet Muslims to Islam since 2006.

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    Re: My wife asked me to get married to a second wife.

    Quote Originally Posted by sm_gill View Post
    Assalamoalykum Wa'Rahmatullah Wa'Barakat,

    Respected brothers and sisters in Islam, I hope you are all doing fine InshaAllah. I am a new member to this site. I have been married for 12 years and Alhamdolillah Allah has blessed me with three very gorgeous kids. I love my wife and kids and I endeavour to fulfil their rights. My wife and I we both recently turned 40. There has been a certain level of decline in my wife's health and sharp decline in her physical relation towards me. This could be due to several reasons i.e. looking after kids. She is a very good mum and very understanding wife indeed.

    Recently, on three different occasions she has asked me to get a second wife. For the first time I ignored her. 2nd time I asked her the reasons and when she asked me the third time, I became seriously concerned. After long discussions, I now understand her reasons are for the sake of Allah (I can not go into too much details).

    I never thought of getting married to a 2nd wife before this. But, when I see lots of muslim sisters (divorced, widows or singles) struggling to find the right companionship, I started thinking of a 2nd wife. I am engineer by profession and I think I can afford to have another wife.

    Any advise?

    JazakAllah Khair
    I would not like you to become paranoid but, something is seriously wrong in your relationship. You should sit down and analyze it seriously. Some people have weird ways of getting what they want.
    There are a lot of things people want to do for Allah, getting your husband to have another wife does not top that list.
    Now I am neither for or against your second marriage. But this should be a decision based upon your needs and obligations to your self and the future spouse.
    What I feel going on here is that you are being led into it, for reasons, that do not sound very plausible, when one considers how a usual sister will think. Now your wife may be a lot different than regular sisters, but, whenever someone comes up with unusual suggestions, or offers, I would say , always think twice.

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    Re: My wife asked me to get married to a second wife.

    Salaam,

    I say go for it brother, many single men can't marry so you are definitely doing the Muslim ummah a favour.

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    Re: My wife asked me to get married to a second wife.

    Quote Originally Posted by Snippets View Post
    I would not like you to become paranoid but, something is seriously wrong in your relationship. You should sit down and analyze it seriously. Some people have weird ways of getting what they want.
    There are a lot of things people want to do for Allah, getting your husband to have another wife does not top that list.
    Now I am neither for or against your second marriage. But this should be a decision based upon your needs and obligations to your self and the future spouse.
    What I feel going on here is that you are being led into it, for reasons, that do not sound very plausible, when one considers how a usual sister will think. Now your wife may be a lot different than regular sisters, but, whenever someone comes up with unusual suggestions, or offers, I would say , always think twice.
    Not all sisters are against polygamy-granted a lot are- but its strange that you use the word "usual"...what is a "usual" sister?

    From the OP it comes across, from the limited information provided (to me as a women-and I maybe wrong) that perhaps his wife doesn't want/can not fulfil his intimacy rights due to ill health or some other cause and instead of making him go without has decided a second wife is within both of their means and capabilities and so has taken the decision in order to safe guard her husband from fitna? Not all women expect their husband to accept things for the sake of monogamy.

    OP- Do not rush into any decision and if it isn't something you want then you shouldn't do it just because its been suggested-remember its you who has to treat both fairly if you do not think you can then it isn't something you should consider. I don't just mean financially either.
    I suggest you keep talking to your wife in-depth and make sure you are 100% certain before you accept it as it isn't something to be done lightly regardless if it was your wife suggestion or not. You will be the one responsible for the outcomes of both marriages when it comes to it- not every man wants or can be polygamous. But if you decide its something you can do then there is nothing wrong in it.

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    Re: My wife asked me to get married to a second wife.

    Quote Originally Posted by Um_Saf View Post
    Not all sisters are against polygamy-granted a lot are- but its strange that you use the word "usual"...what is a "usual" sister?

    From the OP it comes across, from the limited information provided (to me as a women-and I maybe wrong) that perhaps his wife doesn't want/can not fulfil his intimacy rights due to ill health or some other cause and instead of making him go without has decided a second wife is within both of their means and capabilities and so has taken the decision in order to safe guard her husband from fitna? Not all women expect their husband to accept things for the sake of monogamy.

    OP- Do not rush into any decision and if it isn't something you want then you shouldn't do it just because its been suggested-remember its you who has to treat both fairly if you do not think you can then it isn't something you should consider. I don't just mean financially either.
    I suggest you keep talking to your wife in-depth and make sure you are 100% certain before you accept it as it isn't something to be done lightly regardless if it was your wife suggestion or not. You will be the one responsible for the outcomes of both marriages when it comes to it- not every man wants or can be polygamous. But if you decide its something you can do then there is nothing wrong in it.
    Those who think about themselves first and foremost.

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    Re: My wife asked me to get married to a second wife.

    Quote Originally Posted by zi-zizou View Post
    Those who think about themselves first and foremost.
    Ah i see- I would have used the majority of sisters over the word usual, as many are okay with it- as long as its practiced correctly according to islam. Cultural norms also affect peoples outlooks to a degree too, some cultures accept it easier than others.

    Even in the non-muslim word you can see monogamy isn't always the norm- some Christian sects-Mormons and the such practice it and also open-marriages and similar etc exist even in the west. Though not "mainstream" as monogamy is, polygamy is accepted by a lot of women all over the word as normal without the need for an Altera motive behind it.

    Because of that i wouldn't say there is something automatically strange about the suggestion personally. Even so its not something to be taken lightly by anyone regardless of reasons behind it.

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    Re: My wife asked me to get married to a second wife.

    Quote Originally Posted by zi-zizou View Post
    Those who think about themselves first and foremost.
    That’s 99 percent of all humans.

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    Re: My wife asked me to get married to a second wife.

    Thank you for your reply. Nothing wrong with our relationship. Alhamdolillah, it is very strong. The fact that my wife suggested me this also tells you how friendly and deep relation we have.

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    Re: My wife asked me to get married to a second wife.

    Quote Originally Posted by Snippets View Post
    That’s 99 percent of all humans.
    I don't about the percentages but I'm sure it's high.

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    Re: My wife asked me to get married to a second wife.

    Quote Originally Posted by sm_gill View Post
    Thank you for your reply. Nothing wrong with our relationship. Alhamdolillah, it is very strong. The fact that my wife suggested me this also tells you how friendly and deep relation we have.
    I am not saying there is, but, never take things for granted.
    And regardless of whether you marry again or not, you should try to see why there is a sharp decline in your physical relationship. Just brushing it away is not the right thing. You should talk to her about it, if she is too tired, see if you can help, or hire a help or take clothes for laundry etc. If she is not well, see a physician, check thyroid functions, hormones, etc that can affect physical relations. If you are out of shape, get in shape. Take a vacation alone without kids.

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    Re: My wife asked me to get married to a second wife.

    Good suggestions brother, mashaAllah. You make sense but I have already tried most of your suggestions. I am not a kind of man who will just crack on in such situations. I have taken some time and this forum activity is also part of the same exercise. InshaAllah, I would want others like yourself and the sisters to come and participate in this discussion so that I could benefit maximum of people's experiences and opinions.

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    Re: My wife asked me to get married to a second wife.

    Quote Originally Posted by sm_gill View Post
    Good suggestions brother, mashaAllah. You make sense but I have already tried most of your suggestions. I am not a kind of man who will just crack on in such situations. I have taken some time and this forum activity is also part of the same exercise. InshaAllah, I would want others like yourself and the sisters to come and participate in this discussion so that I could benefit maximum of people's experiences and opinions.
    Well, yes, may be the married sisters can shed some light on it. What are the reasons a sister will loose interest in physical relations?

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    Re: My wife asked me to get married to a second wife.

    How old are children? Any possibility, that she suffer post-natal depression? That, would explain lack of interest of physical relations.

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    Re: My wife asked me to get married to a second wife.

    Quote Originally Posted by sm_gill View Post
    Good suggestions brother, mashaAllah. You make sense but I have already tried most of your suggestions. I am not a kind of man who will just crack on in such situations. I have taken some time and this forum activity is also part of the same exercise. InshaAllah, I would want others like yourself and the sisters to come and participate in this discussion so that I could benefit maximum of people's experiences and opinions.
    Its good that you haven't simply agreed to remarry after the suggestion was made and have already had discussions about it and thought about your relationship with her- mashaAllah both of your actions toward each other shows the level of respect and love you seem to have for one another.
    If you feel polygamy isn't for you personally and if you haven't already, gently explaining this to your wife might ease her worry about you?

    It isn't just women who have a decline in desires-some people seem to natural lose interest with age. Others never lose interest, its just personal preference.
    For women things like menopause and pre-menopause can affect libido, as does breastfeeding and other such things.
    Sometimes there isn't a reason and the person just doesn't feel the need. You hear often that many couples agree to remain in a sexless marriage as they just don't feel the need for that part of a relationship anymore, yet still love each other deeply and show affection in other ways.

    That's why it is so important to communicate with each other and see if there is a solution or cause or if its simply they aren't interested. As both spouses need to be happy with arrangements within their marriage.

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    Re: My wife asked me to get married to a second wife.

    ^Such marriages to my understanding are due to circumstances from which people cannot get out of. And no one is happy in it. But may be they are some people like that, after all there are all sorts of humans.

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    Re: My wife asked me to get married to a second wife.

    Are you living in a country where the rights of co wives are protected? it may seem like a nice idea but are you really prepared for all the responsibilities that come with being the head of two households? it could be dream come true or it may turn into a bit of a nightmare if your 2nd wife turns out to be bad news, or your first wife starts going crazy about it all later.
    Spears shall be shaken! Shields shall be splintered! a sword day..a red day..ere the sun rises! Ride now! Ride now! Ride! Ride to ruin, and the world’s ending!

    None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.”

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    Re: My wife asked me to get married to a second wife.

    Quote Originally Posted by uccello verde View Post
    How old are children? Any possibility, that she suffer post-natal depression? That, would explain lack of interest of physical relations.
    This is my question too? How old are the kids? If they are young age and she is extremely busy looking after them, she will be happy to minimize her workload but reducing her wife duty. But when those kids grow up and she is left with more free time, she will crave for your attention and time. That is when she might regret her current decision.

    The other question is, does she have a sister in mind. If she knows a sister in need or a close friend, she might be willing to share you because she knows the other sister is struggling. In that case the reward she gets is greater than sacrifice

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    Re: My wife asked me to get married to a second wife.

    Does your wife actually know that you having another wife will increase your responsibilities and decrease the amount of time you will have for your wife and children.

    Has your wife actually thought it through? It's easy for anyone to say something especially when they are not thinking straight or are under pressure.

    Like others have suggested you should get help for your wife and see what the underlying cause is.

    Marriage is about sacrifices. Imagine if something happened to you health wise and you could not fulfil her rights. How would you feel if after 12 years of marriage she said well I want a divorce so I can marry a man who will fulfil my rights?

    It's not just about you you and you or your wife. You have kid's. Have you thought about the effects it will gave on your children?

    Are there no other halal alternatives whereby your wife could still have your needs met but use other methods?

    End day whatever you decide do istakharah.

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    Re: My wife asked me to get married to a second wife.

    This is one of my major concerns when it comes to marriage.
    To be in a marriage where the woman loses interest but clings on due to comfort.
    I would much prefer that in this case, woman leaves me and allows me to be with someone else whom I can be happy with, rather than clinging on to a unsatisfactory relationship.

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    Re: My wife asked me to get married to a second wife.

    Brother alhamdulillah you have a pious wife, in theory taking another wife seems great on paper but I would not underestimate what a big step this is, and the impact it could have on your children. I would advise you to make istikhara and assess whether you need another wife or if you can manage and be patient in your current situation. You say your wife is in declining health- if her care needs are going to increase then who will look after the children and help her when you are with your second wife?

    But then I see lots of Muslim women struggling to get companionship (widowed, divorced)

    With all due respect marry for yourself and not because you feel you are doing a down-and-out sister a favour. You are not some type of saviour and if you feel that way it will negatively impact on her feelings to you. A distant relative of mine did this after the Iraqi war (marrying widows with children) and each marriage lasted only a short time. He felt they were "ungrateful" for him marrying them and they were too demanding within their status (ie as a widow with 8 children she should just be grateful with a husband, a house and food and not want anything else) but they didn't see themselves as charity cases so felt he was looking down at them. His children suddenly saw a lot less of him and their financial life halved. Although his wife was fine with it I can't minimize the tension it caused within the family.

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    Re: My wife asked me to get married to a second wife.

    Quote Originally Posted by Snippets View Post
    This is one of my major concerns when it comes to marriage.
    To be in a marriage where the woman loses interest but clings on due to comfort.
    I would much prefer that in this case, woman leaves me and allows me to be with someone else whom I can be happy with, rather than clinging on to a unsatisfactory relationship.
    Brother the wife seems to have health issues that are having an impact on the physical side. She is not some desperado who is clinging onto this brother for comfort! These issues do happen; seriously if you have 3 children with your pious, loving wife would you just leave her and start a new life? Relationships do become unsatisfactory at various times, you have to work on them to attempt to make them better. Sometimes things do not get better in certain aspects, this sister has offered him a second wife which I feel is very reasonable indeed.

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    Re: My wife asked me to get married to a second wife.

    Quote Originally Posted by Umm Fatimah View Post
    Brother alhamdulillah you have a pious wife, in theory taking another wife seems great on paper but I would not underestimate what a big step this is, and the impact it could have on your children. I would advise you to make istikhara and assess whether you need another wife or if you can manage and be patient in your current situation. You say your wife is in declining health- if her care needs are going to increase then who will look after the children and help her when you are with your second wife?

    But then I see lots of Muslim women struggling to get companionship (widowed, divorced)

    With all due respect marry for yourself and not because you feel you are doing a down-and-out sister a favour. You are not some type of saviour and if you feel that way it will negatively impact on her feelings to you. A distant relative of mine did this after the Iraqi war (marrying widows with children) and each marriage lasted only a short time. He felt they were "ungrateful" for him marrying them and they were too demanding within their status (ie as a widow with 8 children she should just be grateful with a husband, a house and food and not want anything else) but they didn't see themselves as charity cases so felt he was looking down at them
    . His children suddenly saw a lot less of him and their financial life halved. Although his wife was fine with it I can't minimize the tension it caused within the family.
    This... should mentioned in all polygamy threads...

    As a reminfer to brothers

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    Re: My wife asked me to get married to a second wife.

    Quote Originally Posted by Umm Fatimah View Post
    Brother alhamdulillah you have a pious wife, in theory taking another wife seems great on paper but I would not underestimate what a big step this is, and the impact it could have on your children. I would advise you to make istikhara and assess whether you need another wife or if you can manage and be patient in your current situation. You say your wife is in declining health- if her care needs are going to increase then who will look after the children and help her when you are with your second wife?

    But then I see lots of Muslim women struggling to get companionship (widowed, divorced)

    With all due respect marry for yourself and not because you feel you are doing a down-and-out sister a favour. You are not some type of saviour and if you feel that way it will negatively impact on her feelings to you. A distant relative of mine did this after the Iraqi war (marrying widows with children) and each marriage lasted only a short time. He felt they were "ungrateful" for him marrying them and they were too demanding within their status (ie as a widow with 8 children she should just be grateful with a husband, a house and food and not want anything else) but they didn't see themselves as charity cases so felt he was looking down at them. His children suddenly saw a lot less of him and their financial life halved. Although his wife was fine with it I can't minimize the tension it caused within the family.
    100% agree with this, no person wants to be seen or treated like a charity case-that's why I mentioned whether you would be able to treat her and your current wife fairly.
    There are lots to consider beforehand like any marriage, because if you go into it, the decision and consequences will affect all the family members not just the adults.
    Finances are a factor but above all how you manage you relationships are the biggest factor there is. I don't think looking at the potentials status is the best approach for marriage period..Once they are your spouse the responsibilities are the same regardless and fairness and kindness are key.

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    Re: My wife asked me to get married to a second wife.

    Quote Originally Posted by Umm Fatimah View Post
    Brother the wife seems to have health issues that are having an impact on the physical side. She is not some desperado who is clinging onto this brother for comfort! These issues do happen; seriously if you have 3 children with your pious, loving wife would you just leave her and start a new life? Relationships do become unsatisfactory at various times, you have to work on them to attempt to make them better. Sometimes things do not get better in certain aspects, this sister has offered him a second wife which I feel is very reasonable indeed.
    I am not talking about this case, but, in general.
    “Loving”, is a present continuous. If there were to be no love left, I would not like to be in such relationship, whether we had kids together or not.

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    Re: My wife asked me to get married to a second wife.

    What if new wife gets health problems then do you move onto wife 3?

    Quote Originally Posted by Snippets View Post
    I am not talking about this case, but, in general.
    “Loving”, is a present continuous. If there were to be no love left, I would not like to be in such relationship, whether we had kids together or not.
    What do you mean 'loving?' Not everyone defines it the same way.

    Love is an essential part of marriage but so too is respect. If 'loving' were not left would you not want to now whats happened why itw not a loving relationship anymore? It's so easy to walk away from problems rather than try to fix them.

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    Re: My wife asked me to get married to a second wife.

    Quote Originally Posted by sm_gill View Post
    Good suggestions brother, mashaAllah. You make sense but I have already tried most of your suggestions. I am not a kind of man who will just crack on in such situations. I have taken some time and this forum activity is also part of the same exercise. InshaAllah, I would want others like yourself and the sisters to come and participate in this discussion so that I could benefit maximum of people's experiences and opinions.
    Salam Alaikum brother

    I am not a knwoledge person but since you want my opinion..
    I think maybe your wife is going through menopause,that explains the decline in health and in physical relations
    If you marry a young girl,I think you would want to spend more time with her and slowly "forget" about your wife.
    And if you marry an old one,she might even have kids,and wont be that "sexually available" for a long time,so you are left then to take care of another woman who is like the wife you have now,and of children and problems that arent even yours.And you have to be equally just.What if after this your wife start regretting it,as I said she might be going through a phase,like menopause.Start giving charity in another way,this one is too risky.
    From my exp,If the conditions are right,I think every woman can love every man in the world,and vice versa.So start being romantic,take her out on dates just the two of you,cook her dinner with candles and stuff sometimes,write her notes.Be young and playful.Family life really suffocates feelings,there is just so much to do that we forget about each other.As a sister here said,there are other halal ways to satisfy your needs that would be easier for her.If you are happy in this family dont seek to make another.Its just too much work for nothing
    This was my opinion,hope it helped a little
    Whatever your decision will be may Allah make you benefit a lot from it and make it easy for you.
    'A slave's life is all you understand, you know nothing of freedom. For if you did, you would have encouraged us to fight on, not only with our spears, but with everything we have'

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    Re: My wife asked me to get married to a second wife.

    Quote Originally Posted by Aetos View Post
    Salam Alaikum brother

    I am not a knwoledge person but since you want my opinion..
    I think maybe your wife is going through menopause,that explains the decline in health and in physical relations
    If you marry a young girl,I think you would want to spend more time with her and slowly "forget" about your wife.
    And if you marry an old one,she might even have kids,and wont be that "sexually available" for a long time,so you are left then to take care of another woman who is like the wife you have now,and of children and problems that arent even yours.And you have to be equally just.What if after this your wife start regretting it,as I said she might be going through a phase,like menopause.Start giving charity in another way,this one is too risky.
    From my exp,If the conditions are right,I think every woman can love every man in the world,and vice versa.So start being romantic,take her out on dates just the two of you,cook her dinner with candles and stuff sometimes,write her notes.Be young and playful.Family life really suffocates feelings,there is just so much to do that we forget about each other.As a sister here said,there are other halal ways to satisfy your needs that would be easier for her.If you are happy in this family dont seek to make another.Its just too much work for nothing
    This was my opinion,hope it helped a little
    Whatever your decision will be may Allah make you benefit a lot from it and make it easy for you.
    Brother, let's not jump to conclusions. We don't know really much about underline situation of couple. Only facts we know, they have 3 kids and been married 12 years. So, she is very busy mum of 3 little boys, which can be exhausting and draining. We don't know how young is youngest child. Maybe she is still breastfeeding? All that, can take hiccup of your physical relations with your spouse.

    I don't think menopause is nothing to do here, more like exhausting of everyday life.
    I don't want say much about these issues, as this is mix-forum. But where did you get idea, that post-menopause women aren't physically interested.

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    Re: My wife asked me to get married to a second wife.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mintchocchip View Post
    What if new wife gets health problems then do you move onto wife 3?



    What do you mean 'loving?' Not everyone defines it the same way.

    Love is an essential part of marriage but so too is respect. If 'loving' were not left would you not want to now whats happened why itw not a loving relationship anymore? It's so easy to walk away from problems rather than try to fix them.
    I am old enough to know the difference between physical relations and love. Ofcourse I would like to know, but so often I read from brothers and sisters that the love is not there anymore and when they want to work on it, the answer they get is nothing is wrong etc.

    One can work on health issues but not if the other persons doesn’t want to put an effort.
    Respect is indeed very important but it’s not a substitute for love. Atleast not for me.

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    Re: My wife asked me to get married to a second wife.

    There has been a sharp decline in her physical relation towards me

    That does not mean that she doesn't love you, or she loves you less. There are lots of reasons why this may happen. The OP did note himself that her childcare duties may have a part in this (and I think any woman with multiple children can relate to this at one stage or another) so I am thinking that maybe the OP could contribute more in the household? There are academic sttudies showing that there is a correlation between how much help a husband gives his wife and how often she initiates relations. Just saying, really.

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    Re: My wife asked me to get married to a second wife.

    Quote Originally Posted by Snippets View Post
    I am old enough to know the difference between physical relations and love. Ofcourse I would like to know, but so often I read from brothers and sisters that the love is not there anymore and when they want to work on it, the answer they get is nothing is wrong etc.

    One can work on health issues but not if the other persons doesn’t want to put an effort.
    Respect is indeed very important but it’s not a substitute for love. Atleast not for me.
    thats life, feelings aint gona be the same as it was for the first week, month, year.

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    AW: Re: My wife asked me to get married to a second wife.

    Quote Originally Posted by uccello verde View Post
    Brother, let's not jump to conclusions. We don't know really much about underline situation of couple. Only facts we know, they have 3 kids and been married 12 years. So, she is very busy mum of 3 little boys, which can be exhausting and draining. We don't know how young is youngest child. Maybe she is still breastfeeding? All that, can take hiccup of your physical relations with your spouse.

    I don't think menopause is nothing to do here, more like exhausting of everyday life.
    I don't want say much about these issues, as this is mix-forum. But where did you get idea, that post-menopause women aren't physically interested.

    I said maybe menopause,maybe,I dont think tired women arent physically interested too,so Maybe menopause
    It is not my idea.After menopause estrogen levels fall and women find it hard to be as physically interested lets say,as before.Some women completely loose interest.And I wasnt talking about post-menopause women,I was talking about women going through menopause.I dont want to say what happens to a woman body during menopause as I feel that kind of talk would be disrespectful to this forum,but you can google it ,and see that I am right
    And if I am wrong about some things,that brother is twice as old as me,he knows what to do.This was just my opinion since he asked it.I said I wasnt knowledgeable
    'A slave's life is all you understand, you know nothing of freedom. For if you did, you would have encouraged us to fight on, not only with our spears, but with everything we have'

 

 

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