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    Feeling broken inside (abit) Please help me !

    Asalamualakum I am 20 years old I have been speaking to a girl for 2 years on email however I have met her twice . I never ever even touched her in the 2 times I met her as I said its haram so I am happy for this. Her character was amazing she was such a nice girl she never had a boyfriend before . But what worried me was she was going to a university which I knew was not good it scared me .

    I even told my dad about her about I want to marry her he was going to speak to her parents but now this happens.

    To make the story short
    Yesterday she msgs me saying I have done something really bad forgive me sorry then I asked her what she did not reply now she has blocked me . The thoughts in my head are she has

    1. Kissed a man
    2. Fornicated

    its hurting me but I kept my love to a limit i never felt in deeep love with her though i still loved her i can feel it.


    I dont know what to do ?

    I did dua to Allah a week ago show me a sign if she is right one now this happens .
    She also has stopping praying her salah 5 times she only prays sometimes which bothered me I said to her start praying atleast 4 times.


    Questions


    1. Shall I wait for her to message me? if yes how long

    2. Would you say forgive her or no just move on?

    3. What would u advise me if she did commit fornication? ( how to deal with this hardship islamically)


    I am from UK I really wanted a wife who is pure never kissed a man etc. I feel broken inside abit but if i find out i will be destroyed inside i think.


    U see my aim is marriage not to have girlfriends this is why I wanted to hurry up with marriage. I have never had a girlfriend before in my life before speaking to this 1.

    Sorry 4 going on plz help
    Last edited by muslim4life76; 03-11-17 at 10:57 AM.

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    Re: Feeling broken inside (abit) Please help me !

    Waalaikumussalam son

    Move on ,I can see this turning to a headache with doubts and what not
    It's really not worth it hassling yourself

    Concetrate on yourself

    As for blocking you ,maybe out of guilt or perhaps hoping you will miss her more
    Just ignore and forget about her

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    Re: Feeling broken inside (abit) Please help me !

    Im sure this must be really hard for you brother, especially considering you spent 2 years talking to this person. My advice is the same as the brother before me said, move on.

    Best to just forget about her otherwise your just gonna go insane thinking about her and what she may or may not be doing. Perhaps next time you see a girl bring up marriage earlier rather than getting to know them over years.

    insha'Allah you will be alright.

  4. #4
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    Re: Feeling broken inside (abit) Please help me !

    Quote Originally Posted by muslim4life76 View Post
    Asalamualakum I am 20 years old I have been speaking to a girl for 2 years on email however I have met her twice . I never ever even touched her in the 2 times I met her as I said its haram so I am happy for this. Her character was amazing she was such a nice girl she never had a boyfriend before . But what worried me was she was going to a university which I knew was not good it scared me .

    I even told my dad about her about I want to marry her he was going to speak to her parents but now this happens.

    To make the story short
    Yesterday she msgs me saying I have done something really bad forgive me sorry then I asked her what she did not reply now she has blocked me . The thoughts in my head are she has

    1. Kissed a man
    2. Fornicated

    its hurting me but I kept my love to a limit i never felt in deeep love with her though i still loved her i can feel it.


    I dont know what to do ?

    I did dua to Allah a week ago show me a sign if she is right one now this happens .
    She also has stopping praying her salah 5 times she only prays sometimes which bothered me I said to her start praying atleast 4 times.


    Questions


    1. Shall I wait for her to message me? if yes how long

    2. Would you say forgive her or no just move on?

    3. What would u advise me if she did commit fornication? ( how to deal with this hardship islamically)


    I am from UK I really wanted a wife who is pure never kissed a man etc. I feel broken inside abit but if i find out i will be destroyed inside i think.


    U see my aim is marriage not to have girlfriends this is why I wanted to hurry up with marriage. I have never had a girlfriend before in my life before speaking to this 1.

    Sorry 4 going on plz help

    What was your purpose meeting this girl twice, if not marry her? Where was her Wali? You can't go around meeting sisters, just for fun. In Islam it need to lead something permanent, or let her go.

    You have been 2 years talking to this sister and what has been holding you back not ask her to be your spouse?

    Today you feel hurt and next week, but you'll get over, Alhamdulillah. All this is just Dunyah, only thing which matter the most is your relationship with Allah SWT. Work on that one. Keep yourself busy with halal activities. Go to outside and run. Read Quran. Learn new things. Go halaqas. meet with brothers.

    Real love comes when you are married to person and live with her through trials and tests which life puts you two through and you still remain by each others side.


    When time is right you will find your spouse.
    And next time go on right way, meeting sister with her Wali.

    Just, move on and say Alhamdulillah.

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    Re: Feeling broken inside (abit) Please help me !

    1- No I would suggest don’t wait for her message. Bcoz it’s not under your control, focus on things that you can do, rather than waiting for someone else.

    2- She is not related to you, so there is nothing for you to forgive. It’s her life, she has to answer for herself to Allah, and not to you. You are just another person on planet, for now.

    3- You are way overthinking, whatever she has done is not your concern.
    If at all you come to a stage when you propose her, only then you can ask her, and decide.

    TBH, what I think is that, she is in university. A whole new world or may be a lifestyle has opened up to her. She probably does not fancy a shy young man, who wants her to be religious and pray regularly and with whom she never marry. So she does not want to pursue this any further.

    You may have put her on a pedestal but that’s not how the world works.

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    Re: Feeling broken inside (abit) Please help me !

    Quote Originally Posted by Snippets View Post
    1- No I would suggest don’t wait for her message. Bcoz it’s not under your control, focus on things that you can do, rather than waiting for someone else.

    2- She is not related to you, so there is nothing for you to forgive. It’s her life, she has to answer for herself to Allah, and not to you. You are just another person on planet, for now.

    3- You are way overthinking, whatever she has done is not your concern.
    If at all you come to a stage when you propose her, only then you can ask her, and decide.

    TBH, what I think is that, she is in university. A whole new world or may be a lifestyle has opened up to her. She probably does not fancy a shy young man, who wants her to be religious and pray regularly and with whom she never marry. So she does not want to pursue this any further.

    You may have put her on a pedestal but that’s not how the world works.
    Actually, I don't understand what kind of universities that corrupt peoples heads like that. In our country, a uni is a normal school, but with grownups. Every one goes there to study and not chitchat. There are clubs to join IF you want to, but nothing is forced. If people stops praying and want to do haram just cuz it exists, then they didn't have good deen in the beginning.
    There is nothing wrong with uni, the people is in fault here.

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    Quote Originally Posted by muslim4life76 View Post
    Asalamualakum I am 20 years old I have been speaking to a girl for 2 years on email however I have met her twice . I never ever even touched her in the 2 times I met her as I said its haram so I am happy for this. Her character was amazing she was such a nice girl she never had a boyfriend before . But what worried me was she was going to a university which I knew was not good it scared me .

    I even told my dad about her about I want to marry her he was going to speak to her parents but now this happens.

    To make the story short
    Yesterday she msgs me saying I have done something really bad forgive me sorry then I asked her what she did not reply now she has blocked me . The thoughts in my head are she has

    1. Kissed a man
    2. Fornicated

    its hurting me but I kept my love to a limit i never felt in deeep love with her though i still loved her i can feel it.


    I dont know what to do ?

    I did dua to Allah a week ago show me a sign if she is right one now this happens .
    She also has stopping praying her salah 5 times she only prays sometimes which bothered me I said to her start praying atleast 4 times.


    Questions


    1. Shall I wait for her to message me? if yes how long

    2. Would you say forgive her or no just move on?

    3. What would u advise me if she did commit fornication? ( how to deal with this hardship islamically)


    I am from UK I really wanted a wife who is pure never kissed a man etc. I feel broken inside abit but if i find out i will be destroyed inside i think.


    U see my aim is marriage not to have girlfriends this is why I wanted to hurry up with marriage. I have never had a girlfriend before in my life before speaking to this 1.

    Sorry 4 going on plz help
    You are being pathetic. Get a grip man. You barely know this girl. "Broken inside" gimme a break. Stop getting attached to women over email.

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    Re: Feeling broken inside (abit) Please help me !

    Quote Originally Posted by P1RAT3N View Post
    Actually, I don't understand what kind of universities that corrupt peoples heads like that. In our country, a uni is a normal school, but with grownups. Every one goes there to study and not chitchat. There are clubs to join IF you want to, but nothing is forced. If people stops praying and want to do haram just cuz it exists, then they didn't have good deen in the beginning.
    There is nothing wrong with uni, the people is in fault here.
    well said.
    ┳┻|
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    ┳┻|⊂ノ
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    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...adan-Authentic

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    Re: Feeling broken inside (abit) Please help me !

    :

    I am very sorry that this has happened to you. Take this as a lesson you will be a much better man than this and next time you will be more cautious about how you handle it.

    Again, sorry to say this but move on. Don't waste your time or your life sobbing away for this girl. It will take time to heal your heart but you have not lost anything worthy.

    Speak to Allah, keep making dua because these feelings could turn you into a better believer.

    Don't look back, keep moving forward because you were saved from a bigger heart break if she did not tell you now.

    All the best.
    'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

    So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

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    Re: Feeling broken inside (abit) Please help me !

    Quote Originally Posted by P1RAT3N View Post
    Actually, I don't understand what kind of universities that corrupt peoples heads like that. In our country, a uni is a normal school, but with grownups. Every one goes there to study and not chitchat. There are clubs to join IF you want to, but nothing is forced. If people stops praying and want to do haram just cuz it exists, then they didn't have good deen in the beginning.
    There is nothing wrong with uni, the people is in fault here.
    What country are you from?

    It seems as though universities have become zina hubs
    Lol

    Usually, non Muslims see it as fun, get drunk, go clubbing, meet people to hook up with. It's minor for them.

    For us Muslims, well, I don't know what happened here because I didn't think uni life would be a 'threat' to someone's iman. Unfortunately it has become that.

    University has become a fitna which is ridiculous because it's an educational institute, not a brothel lol

    Shame really, I think Muslims that are serious about their religion struggle because it's a war between getting a degree and staying away from debauchery. Influence is there.
    'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

    So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

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    Re: Feeling broken inside (abit) Please help me !

    Quote Originally Posted by Ya'sin View Post
    What country are you from?

    It seems as though universities have become zina hubs
    Lol

    Usually, non Muslims see it as fun, get drunk, go clubbing, meet people to hook up with. It's minor for them.

    For us Muslims, well, I don't know what happened here because I didn't think uni life would be a 'threat' to someone's iman. Unfortunately it has become that.

    University has become a fitna which is ridiculous because it's an educational institute, not a brothel lol

    Shame really, I think Muslims that are serious about their religion struggle because it's a war between getting a degree and staying away from debauchery. Influence is there.
    I am from Sweden, where we have good educational system. We have no zina there. Clubbing is something you do after school, if you want to. In school, no one even have time to think about these stuff. Everyone works hard in uni and no one wants to risk loosing their degree.

    And Swedes are the folks who get drunk the most.

    I have been in far worse schools than what these unis people describe and my deen did not get affected. I am hard to get influenced anyways. Being an extreme introvert and avoiding people doing haram helped me to keep my deen. I really hate hanging around with other friends cuz I am a family person. I litteraly hide from people I know and rush home because I don't want to meet anyone. I just want to get home and chill, away from all the loud people

    But if some have low self esteem, gets influenced easy or cannot control themselves then they better stay away from bad enviroments. And this is coming from a sister who does not get influenced by other women. I could care less of what they say or think about me

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    Re: Feeling broken inside (abit) Please help me !

    Quote Originally Posted by P1RAT3N View Post
    Actually, I don't understand what kind of universities that corrupt peoples heads like that. In our country, a uni is a normal school, but with grownups. Every one goes there to study and not chitchat. There are clubs to join IF you want to, but nothing is forced. If people stops praying and want to do haram just cuz it exists, then they didn't have good deen in the beginning.
    There is nothing wrong with uni, the people is in fault here.
    It’s mostly about peer pressure. If one is in good company, or just keeps to him or herself, then it’s not much of an issue.

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    Re: Feeling broken inside (abit) Please help me !

    This girl sounds like she was never a good girl
    She spoke to u for 2 years without a mehram and linked u twice she was not marriage material
    What do u expect
    Someone said a couple sweet words and could have persuaded her into anything
    U dont just marry someone coz they are 'pure'
    Marry someone who is a righteous muslima who will take care of you and help you reach jannah
    Who fears Allah and will make your children into muwahideen

    U wasted time for 2 years and commited haram
    Repent and forget about her shes a waste of time
    Seek into your religion and in time u can have a righteous wife who will actually respect you even when your not there

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    Re: Feeling broken inside (abit) Please help me !

    Quote Originally Posted by Snippets View Post
    It’s mostly about peer pressure. If one is in good company, or just keeps to him or herself, then it’s not much of an issue.
    If you have taqwa it wont be too hard to resist these situations its people who like that kind of stuff who fall into these traps

    But still shaytaan can sometimes get the better of peopel and thats why we freemixing is haram

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    Re: Feeling broken inside (abit) Please help me !

    Quote Originally Posted by Ya'sin View Post
    What country are you from?

    It seems as though universities have become zina hubs
    Lol

    Usually, non Muslims see it as fun, get drunk, go clubbing, meet people to hook up with. It's minor for them.

    For us Muslims, well, I don't know what happened here because I didn't think uni life would be a 'threat' to someone's iman. Unfortunately it has become that.

    University has become a fitna which is ridiculous because it's an educational institute, not a brothel lol

    Shame really, I think Muslims that are serious about their religion struggle because it's a war between getting a degree and staying away from debauchery. Influence is there.
    University isnt too much of a problem for people who go study and then go home
    For people who like to free mix and like to look for fun with people it is those people that find it hard
    A very small minority of people i know who are religious and find it hard but thats because they live at uni eith kuffar who bring the badnesd to the doorstep

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    Re: Feeling broken inside (abit) Please help me !

    The question now is

    How do you forget?

    How can u program your mind to forget?

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    Re: Feeling broken inside (abit) Please help me !

    Quote Originally Posted by Deen95 View Post
    Im sure this must be really hard for you brother, especially considering you spent 2 years talking to this person. My advice is the same as the brother before me said, move on.

    Best to just forget about her otherwise your just gonna go insane thinking about her and what she may or may not be doing. Perhaps next time you see a girl bring up marriage earlier rather than getting to know them over years.

    insha'Allah you will be alright.
    Brother thank u very much for the reply

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    Re: Feeling broken inside (abit) Please help me !

    Quote Originally Posted by muslim4life76 View Post
    The question now is

    How do you forget?

    How can u program your mind to forget?
    it depends on how much you are attached to her. If you rate your feelings to her from 1-10 (10 is highest) how much would u rate?

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    Re: Feeling broken inside (abit) Please help me !

    Quote Originally Posted by uccello verde View Post

    What was your purpose meeting this girl twice, if not marry her? Where was her Wali? You can't go around meeting sisters, just for fun. In Islam it need to lead something permanent, or let her go.

    You have been 2 years talking to this sister and what has been holding you back not ask her to be your spouse?

    Today you feel hurt and next week, but you'll get over, Alhamdulillah. All this is just Dunyah, only thing which matter the most is your relationship with Allah SWT. Work on that one. Keep yourself busy with halal activities. Go to outside and run. Read Quran. Learn new things. Go halaqas. meet with brothers.

    Real love comes when you are married to person and live with her through trials and tests which life puts you two through and you still remain by each others side.


    When time is right you will find your spouse.
    And next time go on right way, meeting sister with her Wali.

    Just, move on and say Alhamdulillah.

    This is abit private why I met her twice

    I am not a person tht goes around to meet sisters I have never kissed a woman in my life.

    Iv never had a girlfriend in my life before this girl who i was speaking to . My intention was strictly marriage but what held me back was she was arab and I am British born Paakistani which I knew her parents would object to . Also, from the first 1 year she used to pray all her salahs later past maybe 6-10 months she lacking in her salahs e.g sometimes she missed all 5 sometimes 2 a day . I warned her about this if u do not pray u are not for me .

    I asked Allah last week show me a sign if she is right 1 and this happens do u think this is a sign?


    Today you feel hurt and next week, but you'll get over, Alhamdulillah. All this is just Dunyah, only thing which matter the most is your relationship with Allah SWT. Work on that one. Keep yourself busy with halal activities. Go to outside and run. Read Quran. Learn new things. Go halaqas. meet with brothers.

    Bro I appreciate it thanks yes Im trying to connect now with Allah . Just please do dua for me Allah finds me the right one I want (beautiful + religious)

    yes jzk for the advice I will meet with wali

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    Re: Feeling broken inside (abit) Please help me !

    Quote Originally Posted by Snippets View Post
    1- No I would suggest don’t wait for her message. Bcoz it’s not under your control, focus on things that you can do, rather than waiting for someone else.

    2- She is not related to you, so there is nothing for you to forgive. It’s her life, she has to answer for herself to Allah, and not to you. You are just another person on planet, for now.

    3- You are way overthinking, whatever she has done is not your concern.
    If at all you come to a stage when you propose her, only then you can ask her, and decide.

    TBH, what I think is that, she is in university. A whole new world or may be a lifestyle has opened up to her. She probably does not fancy a shy young man, who wants her to be religious and pray regularly and with whom she never marry. So she does not want to pursue this any further.

    You may have put her on a pedestal but that’s not how the world works.
    She was a girl who was brought up in a strict house. Not allowed phone cannot go out house. The day she went into university she had freedom. I warned her beforehand of the fitna in this university in the UK I did not want her to go but she went.

    So your right.

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    Re: Feeling broken inside (abit) Please help me !

    Quote Originally Posted by Stoic Believer View Post
    You are being pathetic. Get a grip man. You barely know this girl. "Broken inside" gimme a break. Stop getting attached to women over email.
    ahaha but iv met her aswell twice but the good thing is i did not fall in deep love with her if i did i would be really broken im just abit hurt inside. I kept my limits not to fall in love.

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    Quote Originally Posted by muslim4life76 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by uccello verde View Post

    What was your purpose meeting this girl twice, if not marry her? Where was her Wali? You can't go around meeting sisters, just for fun. In Islam it need to lead something permanent, or let her go.

    You have been 2 years talking to this sister and what has been holding you back not ask her to be your spouse?

    Today you feel hurt and next week, but you'll get over, Alhamdulillah. All this is just Dunyah, only thing which matter the most is your relationship with Allah SWT. Work on that one. Keep yourself busy with halal activities. Go to outside and run. Read Quran. Learn new things. Go halaqas. meet with brothers.

    Real love comes when you are married to person and live with her through trials and tests which life puts you two through and you still remain by each others side.


    When time is right you will find your spouse.
    And next time go on right way, meeting sister with her Wali.

    Just, move on and say Alhamdulillah.

    This is abit private why I met her twice

    I am not a person tht goes around to meet sisters I have never kissed a woman in my life.

    Iv never had a girlfriend in my life before this girl who i was speaking to . My intention was strictly marriage but what held me back was she was arab and I am British born Paakistani which I knew her parents would object to . Also, from the first 1 year she used to pray all her salahs later past maybe 6-10 months she lacking in her salahs e.g sometimes she missed all 5 sometimes 2 a day . I warned her about this if u do not pray u are not for me .

    I asked Allah last week show me a sign if she is right 1 and this happens do u think this is a sign?


    Today you feel hurt and next week, but you'll get over, Alhamdulillah. All this is just Dunyah, only thing which matter the most is your relationship with Allah SWT. Work on that one. Keep yourself busy with halal activities. Go to outside and run. Read Quran. Learn new things. Go halaqas. meet with brothers.

    Bro I appreciate it thanks yes Im trying to connect now with Allah . Just please do dua for me Allah finds me the right one I want (beautiful + religious)

    yes jzk for the advice I will meet with wali
    Lol. She was just praying to impress you.

    Move on.

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    Re: Feeling broken inside (abit) Please help me !

    Quote Originally Posted by Ya'sin View Post
    :

    I am very sorry that this has happened to you. Take this as a lesson you will be a much better man than this and next time you will be more cautious about how you handle it.

    Again, sorry to say this but move on. Don't waste your time or your life sobbing away for this girl. It will take time to heal your heart but you have not lost anything worthy.

    Speak to Allah, keep making dua because these feelings could turn you into a better believer.

    Don't look back, keep moving forward because you were saved from a bigger heart break if she did not tell you now.

    All the best.
    Thank u very much akhi may ALLAH reward u ameen for helping me

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    Re: Feeling broken inside (abit) Please help me !

    Quote Originally Posted by muslim4life76 View Post
    She was a girl who was brought up in a strict house. Not allowed phone cannot go out house. The day she went into university she had freedom. I warned her beforehand of the fitna in this university in the UK I did not want her to go but she went.

    So your right.
    Lol she dont sount like she was a religious girl sounds like she was forced to be like this and when she got the opportunity to let out she did eg university

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    Re: Feeling broken inside (abit) Please help me !

    Quote Originally Posted by Ya'sin View Post
    What country are you from?

    It seems as though universities have become zina hubs
    Lol

    Usually, non Muslims see it as fun, get drunk, go clubbing, meet people to hook up with. It's minor for them.

    For us Muslims, well, I don't know what happened here because I didn't think uni life would be a 'threat' to someone's iman. Unfortunately it has become that.

    University has become a fitna which is ridiculous because it's an educational institute, not a brothel lol

    Shame really, I think Muslims that are serious about their religion struggle because it's a war between getting a degree and staying away from debauchery. Influence is there.
    1.UK

    2. Akhi universties in UK sooo many Muslim women lose their virginity it is shocking

    All u see is muslim men n women mixing together


    For me alhamdulilah university is not really a fitna because I hang about with practicing Muslim brothers thts y

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    Re: Feeling broken inside (abit) Please help me !

    Quote Originally Posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post
    This girl sounds like she was never a good girl
    She spoke to u for 2 years without a mehram and linked u twice she was not marriage material
    What do u expect
    Someone said a couple sweet words and could have persuaded her into anything
    U dont just marry someone coz they are 'pure'
    Marry someone who is a righteous muslima who will take care of you and help you reach jannah
    Who fears Allah and will make your children into muwahideen

    U wasted time for 2 years and commited haram
    Repent and forget about her shes a waste of time
    Seek into your religion and in time u can have a righteous wife who will actually respect you even when your not there

    I think u are right

    she had no fear of Allah but me myself I made a mistake

    but Allah saved me frm doing anything when I was with her

    U see women in UK alot have lost virginity had boyfriends etc its very hard to find a right woman here

    plz do dua 4 me Allah helps me ameen

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    Re: Feeling broken inside (abit) Please help me !

    Quote Originally Posted by P1RAT3N View Post
    it depends on how much you are attached to her. If you rate your feelings to her from 1-10 (10 is highest) how much would u rate?
    5-7

    I keep editing it I do not know sometimes its 5 sometimes 6 7

    so between 5-7

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    Re: Feeling broken inside (abit) Please help me !

    Quote Originally Posted by muslim4life76 View Post
    ahaha but iv met her aswell twice but the good thing is i did not fall in deep love with her if i did i would be really broken im just abit hurt inside. I kept my limits not to fall in love.
    If you are not attached to her then it's easy to forget. I mean u saw her change and worst of all, stopped praying. That means she really did not follow Islam by heart. She was forced to it which means she did everything because "mom said" or "dad told me, that's why I did". These kind of people just followed Islam blindly and never understood the meaning of it. I think this gave you a good reason to turn around and leave her.

    The second one of the five pillars of Islam is salat. She broke it.

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    Re: Feeling broken inside (abit) Please help me !

    Quote Originally Posted by muslim4life76 View Post
    6-7
    50-70/50... then maybe try to find someone that surpasses her? If you find someone better then you may be able to forget her completely.

    U better find someone better. It's easier to switch someones place with another than erasing someone completely. I mean u want to marry. So the marriage thoughts will stay in your head which will make you think of her.
    Last edited by P1RAT3N; 03-11-17 at 09:50 PM.

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    Re: Feeling broken inside (abit) Please help me !

    Quote Originally Posted by muslim4life76 View Post
    I think u are right

    she had no fear of Allah but me myself I made a mistake

    but Allah saved me frm doing anything when I was with her

    U see women in UK alot have lost virginity had boyfriends etc its very hard to find a right woman here

    plz do dua 4 me Allah helps me ameen
    Say alhamdullilah Allah protected u from committing these sins and say alhamdullilah u never married this girl Allah is giving u the opportunity to find a righteous wife

    And u dont have to tell me i know
    But its not just girls after all its boys aswell they are even worse
    Also just coz in the past someone had a relationship doesnt mean they are bad (if they have repented and change their lifestyle and charachter

    Dont rely on anyone for duaa
    Make duaa to Allah ur self in sujood in tahajjud salah

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    Re: Feeling broken inside (abit) Please help me !

    Quote Originally Posted by Stoic Believer View Post
    Lol. She was just praying to impress you.

    Move on.
    No because before she met me she used to pray anyway even tahajud even teach quran to children with her mother. She was raised up in a practicing Muslim home . This is wht has shocked me more. Her parents are so strict . Its just like past 10 months she stopped praying abit sometimes 2 times a day sometimes non at all etc



    Alot of women here go out there houses go clubbing Shisha these women are filthy . Its hard to find a right woman here in the UK.

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    Re: Feeling broken inside (abit) Please help me !

    Quote Originally Posted by P1RAT3N View Post
    If you are not attached to her then it's easy to forget. I mean u saw her change and worst of all, stopped praying. That means she really did not follow Islam by heart. She was forced to it which means she did everything because "mom said" or "dad told me, that's why I did". These kind of people just followed Islam blindly and never understood the meaning of it. I think this gave you a good reason to turn around and leave her.

    The second one of the five pillars of Islam is salat. She broke it.


    Allah comes 1st our love for Allah should be 1st not a human


    But she took classes to learn Islam she did know quite alot about Islam she even defended Islam aswell but i dont knw i think her parents forced her to take a course in Islam .

    Its still hard 2 answer this 1
    Last edited by muslim4life76; 03-11-17 at 09:55 PM.

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    Re: Feeling broken inside (abit) Please help me !

    Quote Originally Posted by muslim4life76 View Post
    This is abit private why I met her twice

    I am not a person tht goes around to meet sisters I have never kissed a woman in my life.

    Iv never had a girlfriend in my life before this girl who i was speaking to . My intention was strictly marriage but what held me back was she was arab and I am British born Paakistani which I knew her parents would object to . Also, from the first 1 year she used to pray all her salahs later past maybe 6-10 months she lacking in her salahs e.g sometimes she missed all 5 sometimes 2 a day . I warned her about this if u do not pray u are not for me .

    I asked Allah last week show me a sign if she is right 1 and this happens do u think this is a sign?


    Today you feel hurt and next week, but you'll get over, Alhamdulillah. All this is just Dunyah, only thing which matter the most is your relationship with Allah SWT. Work on that one. Keep yourself busy with halal activities. Go to outside and run. Read Quran. Learn new things. Go halaqas. meet with brothers.

    Bro I appreciate it thanks yes Im trying to connect now with Allah . Just please do dua for me Allah finds me the right one I want (beautiful + religious)

    yes jzk for the advice I will meet with wali
    Remember, as a Muslims we Istikhara to guide us through out process, not just in the end, In sha'Allah.
    Alhamdulillah, you have been saved so much more headache and heartache. If, she can't obey Allah SWT, how you expect her to obey/respect you as future spouse. Of course there is underlining investment of 2 years of e-mailing. What, I understood that you got emotionally attach to her. Take it as, a learning curve and do tawbah.
    Give yourself time, time is a great healer. Listen Quran and get closer to Allah SWT.

    Allah SWT is already written with who you get married. Concentrate now on your Deen, and everything else will fall its right place.
    May Allah SWT grand you ease and shower you with His Mercy, Ameen.

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    Quote Originally Posted by muslim4life76 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Stoic Believer View Post
    Lol. She was just praying to impress you.

    Move on.
    No because before she met me she used to pray anyway even tahajud even teach quran to children with her mother. She was raised up in a practicing Muslim home . This is wht has shocked me more. Her parents are so strict . Its just like past 10 months she stopped praying abit sometimes 2 times a day sometimes non at all etc



    Alot of women here go out there houses go clubbing Shisha these women are filthy . Its hard to find a right woman here in the UK.
    People are always tempted by the forbidden fruit. In her case it was the liberal free lifestyle. And she gave in. Happens a lot.

    Good women exist. But they may not be up to your standards in terms of looks.

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    Re: Feeling broken inside (abit) Please help me !

    Quote Originally Posted by Stoic Believer View Post
    People are always tempted by the forbidden fruit. In her case it was the liberal free lifestyle. And she gave in. Happens a lot.

    Good women exist. But they may not be up to your standards in terms of looks.
    Yes but this is what I want a woman who is beautiful attractive and religious

    well most men desire a beautiful woman

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    Re: Feeling broken inside (abit) Please help me !

    Quote Originally Posted by uccello verde View Post
    Remember, as a Muslims we Istikhara to guide us through out process, not just in the end, In sha'Allah.
    Alhamdulillah, you have been saved so much more headache and heartache. If, she can't obey Allah SWT, how you expect her to obey/respect you as future spouse. Of course there is underlining investment of 2 years of e-mailing. What, I understood that you got emotionally attach to her. Take it as, a learning curve and do tawbah.
    Give yourself time, time is a great healer. Listen Quran and get closer to Allah SWT.

    Allah SWT is already written with who you get married. Concentrate now on your Deen, and everything else will fall its right place.
    May Allah SWT grand you ease and shower you with His Mercy, Ameen.
    Exactly

    when I think of it tht way as u have mentioned if she cannot obey her master forget me

    but then I think to myself imagine in a few years time or months she changes good then what?

    but it is hard to forget a woman who iv spoken to for 2 yrs

    today I could not even smile much eat properly because I would think in my head i would even imagine a man probably kissing her tht hurt me inside

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    Re: Feeling broken inside (abit) Please help me !

    Quote Originally Posted by muslim4life76 View Post
    Yes but this is what I want a woman who is beautiful attractive and religious

    well most men desire a beautiful woman
    I'm sure you'll find it insha'Allah, just remember a religious woman probably won't go around looking all made up like the less modest women out there.

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    Re: Feeling broken inside (abit) Please help me !

    Quote Originally Posted by muslim4life76 View Post
    Yes but this is what I want a woman who is beautiful attractive and religious

    well most men desire a beautiful woman
    Most men desire a beautiful woman and aren't fussed about the other things. So it's easy for them to find what they want.

    But beautiful, religious, and a virgin. I'm sure they exist, but they are difficult to find, although it depends on how high your standards are.

    And if you do find such a woman, are you yourself up to her standard?

    If I were you I would focus less on her being beautiful (she has to be reasonably attractive of course) and also less on virginity. A virgin is obviously ideal, but there's lots of very religious women out there who are good looking but made some mistakes in their past from which they've repented. Or they are divorcees/widows.

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    Re: Feeling broken inside (abit) Please help me !

    Quote Originally Posted by muslim4life76 View Post
    Exactly

    when I think of it tht way as u have mentioned if she cannot obey her master forget me

    but then I think to myself imagine in a few years time or months she changes good then what?

    but it is hard to forget a woman who iv spoken to for 2 yrs

    today I could not even smile much eat properly because I would think in my head i would even imagine a man probably kissing her tht hurt me inside
    Akhi, it is waswas, just let it go. In sha'Allah she'll rectify her affairs, but don't start waiting her.
    I wonder, if she changed to much, who were her friends. Did she told you? What kind of "ideas" they were selling for her.
    That's why we ask guidance every time we do our salat. As, we don't know what is going to be our ending.

    Try to eat small portions and often, In sha'Allah. Maybe write journal, it may help. Next Ramadan, all this will be water under the bridge.
    Stay positive.

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    Re: Feeling broken inside (abit) Please help me !

    Quote Originally Posted by uccello verde View Post
    Akhi, it is waswas, just let it go. In sha'Allah she'll rectify her affairs, but don't start waiting her.
    I wonder, if she changed to much, who were her friends. Did she told you? What kind of "ideas" they were selling for her.
    That's why we ask guidance every time we do our salat. As, we don't know what is going to be our ending.

    Try to eat small portions and often, In sha'Allah. Maybe write journal, it may help. Next Ramadan, all this will be water under the bridge.
    Stay positive.
    i know all these thoughts are frm shaytan i have to seek refuge in Allah every time i get a thought about tht girl then it goes away but comes bak

    yes I will thanks

    I will write on this forum in sha Aallah after a week how i feel and I have exam in 3 weeks I do not think I can pass if this has not recovered after a week because its stopping me I am in my 2nd yr very important

 

 

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