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  1. #1
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    I daydream and talk to myself to much

    Salam brothers and sisters.
    (I am a sister so ignore my profile info pls. It's a mistake)

    I have a "problem" which I cannot call a real problem but I still want to know if it's a problem. This sentence makes no sence but anyway...

    I have always been a dreamer. Not sleep-dream, but daydream. I can sit alone for hours thinking about everything I can think about and personally I find nothing wrong with it. It's some kind of relaxation for me when stressed. I can get emotionall too, for example if I think about something that makes me mad, I cam get mad. But because it's a dream I can still twist it and solve the problem in the dream. So the dreams is a world I can control how I want. I has always been a dreamer and deep thinker.

    But lately, it started to get worse. I talk to myself now. Alot. And I mean it. It's just... To much. When someone annoys me for example, I retreat to somewhere and I start to speak to myself. With hand gestures and face expressions as if that annoying person is standing in front of me! Before, I could wake up of the dream and continue with my daily life but now I can still be annoyed during the day. If it's something happy, I can be cheerfull throughout the whole day. People around me gets confused because I shift emotions all the time.

    I think I developed this habbit of talking to myself because I have no other way to get my feelings out. I have no friends to talk to and even if I wanted to, it's just to private to share with anyone. The feeling as I am talking to someone helps me alot. But I am afraid to take this into the next level. Now I even started to daydream in the precense of other people without realizing that I am doing it. I am getting scared of myself now, as if I am sick in my head or something. But I'm aware of this habbit so calling it a sickness is to much.

    Idk, I am a sister seeking help. What should I do?

  2. #41
    VERSION : Alpha 6.6 Aetos's Avatar
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    Re: I daydream and talk to myself to much

    Quote Originally Posted by Jumpski View Post
    @Aetos I don't really have an issue with you two using the forum. I know her brain gets bored and stuff but by maladaptive daydreaming your only digging a bigger ditch because it does cause social problems instead one should work on fixing them.
    And honestly a solution is to turn to Allah and talk to him no matter how painstakingly difficult it gets. Check my first response it's more detailed.



    Even when you drink alcohol there are some benefits. And if I was reading correctly its problematic for her in some instances. It's not the same as meditating on Allah's creation and thinking Alhamdulillah how beautiful more like no offence going to lalaland and jumping around with the pixies at the end of the rainbow or imagining life as a viking to the point where she is being emotionally stimulated by these experiences.



    Your situation is different to hers and may require more detail from your end.

    I really hope that this is just a small phase in time and once your situation changes you wouldn't feel the need to daydream.
    It's not a big deal if you do it a little but when it becomes excessive well there's a problem.
    Our purpose in life is to worship Allah and so instead of exchanging our time/blessing for daydreaming we can use it to get closer to Allah.
    Imagine turning to Allah everytime you daydream how strong of a Muslim would you become

    It's these kinds of test which really put us into shape and can define how strong of a Muslim we become

    Inshallah you guys gain benefit from these trials allahul musta'an

    Haha jumping around with the pixies. I didnt say you have an issue with me using the forum o.O

    Oh well I thought she said it makes her feel great.I didnt see where she wrote tired.I am not sure if she has maladaptive daydreaming.According to her she is benefiting a lot from this,and the downsides are just burnt rice or drifting away in thoughts.So,if she learns how to control it ,she can turn it into meditation.Which is awesome.Anyway,I am not trying to defend anybody.I commented in this post because I think I really do know how she and the others who daydream feel and I dont think they should go to a therapist.They shouldnt feel weird or anything.In my opinion its a sign of high intelligence.Vision and meditation are kind of daydreams too.What makes the difference is that if you can control it or not.If imagining you are a pirate or a viking would improve someones intellect,I would even encourage this,as long as they know where the reality starts.Doesnt kids do that all the time? A kid who doesnt daydream doesnt grow up that mentally healthy.I may go that far as to call daydream a videogame.As long as you learn from it and it doesnt interfere with the religion its good enough.I would agree with you if her situation was worst,but I dont see it as bad.Well,everyone has its own opinion.

    JazakhAllah Khair . May Allah make everything easier and better for you and all the muslims,and especially for these daydreamers here





    Edit: I went to bake a fish,and didnt press submit post.this was typed long ago :P

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    VERSION : Alpha 6.6 Aetos's Avatar
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    Re: I daydream and talk to myself to much

    Quote Originally Posted by P1RAT3N View Post
    I'll hire you as my writer while I hide somewhere else being like:
    "yes yes, that's my work"
    yes yes,that's my popcorns too then :P gib some

  4. #43
    Senior Member Jumpski's Avatar
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    Re: I daydream and talk to myself to much

    Quote Originally Posted by P1RAT3N View Post
    I'll hire you as my writer while I hide somewhere else being like:
    "yes yes, that's my work"

    Jokes aside, @Jumpski, if this was the work of shaytan, it would propably be worse. Knowing now what maladaptive daydreaming is, my worries sunk and I am not as troubled anymore. I can control it and it does not interfere with my deen and salat. What I'm daydreaming about is all halal. But if it does interfere with my deen then indeed, it would be wrong.

    I will cut down on unneccecary overthinking, but it's good for me to still do it, or I will get crazy. It just needs to work, that active brain of mine...
    Hmm OK I didn't say it was the work of shaytan tbh but at least you recognise that it can be a problem and you can solve it

    Soz for the misunderstandings too but I think it was because a few of the other responses that certain things came across the way they did. You won't believe I got really worried about the pirate thing srs and a brother rolling out of his bed thinking he could fly lol ok but fine then you can ignore the advice in the convo with aetos but I hope others can benefit from it.
    It all starts with a thought

  5. #44
    Senior Member Jumpski's Avatar
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    Re: I daydream and talk to myself to much

    Quote Originally Posted by P1RAT3N View Post
    .This is so awkward
    Lol indeed
    It all starts with a thought

  6. #45
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    Re: I daydream and talk to myself to much

    i absolutely had/have this problem/to some degree still. at first i didnt see it a problem more like a reliever. i kinda used to force daydreamin as little too. i would take long walks to get something messy yet beautiful goin on my mind. as little kid i kinda knew or felt it was dangerous area i was moving on (this mind triggering daydreaming or whatever u call it) but i still felt amazingly good with myself. for me it was kind of a choice takin this direction(sounds weird right). think this as young boy doin some bad stuff which eventually leads to some criminal activicty. this is basically what it has become as i grow older.

    i've massiv familly and friends but yet still prefer'(d) my inner thoughts and self created world which is no longer possible to press standby on, as life got serious xD. the problem with this daydreaming is you cant express urself properly, as you prefer an imaginery world with loads of pictures. second, you direct your feelings into this world and come all peacefull and feelingless zombie.

    furthermore it takes quiet alot of energy to stay focused on the real world and do something productive. so, wouldnt recommend anyone to stay on this path of daydreamings. as it already been mentioned it is an escape from the real world and real problems relating to urself.

  7. #46
    New Member amaryl-lis's Avatar
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    Re: I daydream and talk to myself to much

    Quote Originally Posted by P1RAT3N View Post
    Salam brothers and sisters.
    (I am a sister so ignore my profile info pls. It's a mistake)

    I have a "problem" which I cannot call a real problem but I still want to know if it's a problem. This sentence makes no sence but anyway...

    I have always been a dreamer. Not sleep-dream, but daydream. I can sit alone for hours thinking about everything I can think about and personally I find nothing wrong with it. It's some kind of relaxation for me when stressed. I can get emotionall too, for example if I think about something that makes me mad, I cam get mad. But because it's a dream I can still twist it and solve the problem in the dream. So the dreams is a world I can control how I want. I has always been a dreamer and deep thinker.

    But lately, it started to get worse. I talk to myself now. Alot. And I mean it. It's just... To much. When someone annoys me for example, I retreat to somewhere and I start to speak to myself. With hand gestures and face expressions as if that annoying person is standing in front of me! Before, I could wake up of the dream and continue with my daily life but now I can still be annoyed during the day. If it's something happy, I can be cheerfull throughout the whole day. People around me gets confused because I shift emotions all the time.

    I think I developed this habbit of talking to myself because I have no other way to get my feelings out. I have no friends to talk to and even if I wanted to, it's just to private to share with anyone. The feeling as I am talking to someone helps me alot. But I am afraid to take this into the next level. Now I even started to daydream in the precense of other people without realizing that I am doing it. I am getting scared of myself now, as if I am sick in my head or something. But I'm aware of this habbit so calling it a sickness is to much.

    Idk, I am a sister seeking help. What should I do?
    I'll help, but you need to tell me the details first. Answer the questions below to help me find the exact situation;

    As apparent from your post daydreaming used to be a way of relaxation for you, on the flip side now you're compelled to it? Is that right?

    You said you make hand gestures and face expressions as if that annoying person is standing in front of you. This gives me the hint that you're surrounded by person or person that causes anxiety in you - So my question is, what kind of negativity you face from people that surround you? Like, criticism, paranoia, developing low self-esteem, or even instillng motivation?

    Does daydreaming make it difficult for you to focus and hence unable to complete even simple daily tasks like interacting with others, eating, sleeping etc.?
    Last edited by amaryl-lis; 07-11-17 at 06:34 AM.

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    Re: I daydream and talk to myself to much

    Sister that is a little bit on the strange side, I would suggest cutting the habit because it looks like it doesn't breed much benefit for you, and may actually cause you to get lost into some after-thoughts that will make others feel uncomfortable in your presence.

    Try to gain full consciousness of what you are doing the moment you begin day dreaming and then stop yourself from getting too lost in those thoughts.

  9. #48
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    Re: I daydream and talk to myself to much

    I have this problem too, I dont mean to jump straight to this but jinns can cause this so I'm trying self ruqya, maybe you should too
    Allah sent down his tranquillity upon him and supported him with angels you did not see and made the word of those who disbelieved the lowest, while the word of Allah - that is the highest. And Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise.

  10. #49
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    Re: I daydream and talk to myself to much

    Quote Originally Posted by P1RAT3N View Post
    Salam sister. Thank you for your post I appreciate all kind of answers

    It makes it easier to know I am not alone. It's not like I wish people the same lol. Just that I am tired of being "that one odd gal".

    I tried to talk to people but I am so bad at expressing myself. I can't get the words right and everything comes out wrong. I have no friends I can trust and I don't want to look like a whiny baby in front of my family so I keep it for myself.
    Holding it in makes me so sick If I don't get to speak out, I can get extremely aggressive over time which makes me stressed out. That leads to me eating much less and my weight starts to drop. I get physically sick if I don't let it out somehow...

    How did I end up like this?

    Can I ask what happens if you do not speak to yourself? Do you feel the urge to do it? What do you do to help yourself stop daydreaming?
    Sorry I took forever to respond.

    Same here, which is why I always post and complain about things on this forum lol. I can't really express myself to people in person, so I'll talk myself through it. I find it therapeutic too.

    I do the opposite, if I'm stressed or agitated I eat more lol. I'm a comfort eater, unless I'm really really upset then I won't eat. But yeah, if I'm stressed/agitated by something and I have no one to talk to then I'll vent to myself and I feel better.

    If I don't do it I get really anxious, and I do get the urge to do it. Which is why I'm starting to think it's not a healthy coping mechanism. I get fidgety. I haven't been able to stop daydreaming either I do it whenever I have free time. Sometimes I do it too when I'm busy, my mind just never stops. I feel like I live more in my own head than I do in real life.

    I sound crazy lol

  11. #50
    New Member amaryl-lis's Avatar
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    Re: I daydream and talk to myself to much

    Quote Originally Posted by hadmatter View Post
    I have this problem too, I dont mean to jump straight to this but jinns can cause this so I'm trying self ruqya, maybe you should too
    Oh, come on... Again Jinn. You remind me of the past glory Kidding.

    You actually apply folk theory. In folk medicine, any illness was initially perceived as from demons. Mental health issues are real, not associated with demons or spirits.

    Daydreaming is the universal phenomenon, normal part of our cognitive processes. Please don't associate it with Jinn, poor Jinns might not know you're cursing them for something they didn't do.

  12. #51
    VERSION : Alpha 6.6 Aetos's Avatar
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    AW: Re: I daydream and talk to myself to much

    Quote Originally Posted by brightesthour View Post
    Sorry I took forever to respond.

    Same here, which is why I always post and complain about things on this forum lol. I can't really express myself to people in person, so I'll talk myself through it. I find it therapeutic too.

    I do the opposite, if I'm stressed or agitated I eat more lol. I'm a comfort eater, unless I'm really really upset then I won't eat. But yeah, if I'm stressed/agitated by something and I have no one to talk to then I'll vent to myself and I feel better.

    If I don't do it I get really anxious, and I do get the urge to do it. Which is why I'm starting to think it's not a healthy coping mechanism. I get fidgety. I haven't been able to stop daydreaming either I do it whenever I have free time. Sometimes I do it too when I'm busy, my mind just never stops. I feel like I live more in my own head than I do in real life.

    I sound crazy lol
    You dont sound crazy....
    It makes me so sad when people think this way.Why you guys want to leave the daydreamers club,when you were blessed to be part of it ? :P . It is really very healthy.I am so sure I can bet my kidneys that daydreaming is a sign of high intelligence.And according to my exp,its linked to the 6th sense too.As @P1RAT3N said,it helps solving problems before they even happen.How many people can do that cmon.I wish I could explain better but I am part of the club too,cant explain anything lol.Just trust me and dont feel bad about it,nor let other people make you feel bad about it.How can they understand us when they cant be in our shoes.It is a very healthy coping mechanism and your mind is so awesome she cant even stop herself doing this.
    Happy dreaming
    'A slave's life is all you understand, you know nothing of freedom. For if you did, you would have encouraged us to fight on, not only with our spears, but with everything we have'

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    Re: AW: Re: I daydream and talk to myself to much

    Quote Originally Posted by Aetos View Post
    You dont sound crazy....
    It makes me so sad when people think this way.Why you guys want to leave the daydreamers club,when you were blessed to be part of it ? :P . It is really very healthy.I am so sure I can bet my kidneys that daydreaming is a sign of high intelligence.And according to my exp,its linked to the 6th sense too.As @P1RAT3N said,it helps solving problems before they even happen.How many people can do that cmon.I wish I could explain better but I am part of the club too,cant explain anything lol.Just trust me and dont feel bad about it,nor let other people make you feel bad about it.How can they understand us when they cant be in our shoes.It is a very healthy coping mechanism and your mind is so awesome she cant even stop herself doing this.
    Happy dreaming
    "Yes yes, that's exactly what I thought "

    As for @amaryl-lis questions for me:

    1. I have always been a dreamer. I always went into deep thought if there was something interesting to think about. I am that typical one kid that never raises her hand in class even if she knew the answer. But it was normal. I just thought more than others.

    Two years ago, I got myocarditis which stressed my body to the level it triggered a grave IBS. I got horribly sick and depressed. Didn't even smile once during that year and the only emotion I showed was anger. I hate to show myself weak like that so I had to conceal it by showing something else. I withdraw from all people and went by myself. Somehow, I had to get the feelings out in a way and my brain was the strongest thing that could help me. So I started to use my ability to dream as a way to get away from the reality that slowly killed me. I am still sick but in better shape, I just shut my brain and transfers my thought to somewhere else whenever I feel very ill. It helps and I was and still am compelled to do it, or I turn crazy.
    I am also an extreme type of introvert. Having no one close enough to speak to (about negative stuff) made me develop the habit of speaking to myself. So my imagination became a way to "socialize" in the empty space around me and let my feelings out. Some people cry to let out, I can't cry. I get mad and aggressive instead. To stop myself from rampaging, I had to find a solution to settle down. I am this kind of person. Just Keeping everything inside me.
    I have no problem to entertain myself myself alone. It's no big deal. But some stuff just needs to get out u know and that's where the problem is.
    So for the first question; yes, you're right. It's a type of relaxation and still is. Now I am compelled to do it too

    2. It indeed is a problem. I took my dreaming to the next level and started to involve feelings innit. Bad daydreaming will make me mad, while positive ones can end up making me chuckle. It depends on what I think about really. Face expressions are included if I speak while daydreaming. If I just dream/think then no expressions are included. I just sit there with my head down, in a completely different place.
    If I start to speak to myself about something negative that happened with a person then yes, I'll feel like the person is right there and I want to punch their teeth out. I depends on what it's about. I have been neglected and still being neglected by people because of my personality. I don't share the majority of peoples interests, I'm being made fun of and people missunderstand me because I'm not much of a smalltalker. Whatever I do becomes bad, whatever I say is wrong and I always hear that there is always someone who makes it better. I feel worthless in some cases. I lost trust on humanity and I rather talk to a plant than a human, honestly. I don't trust anyone anymore.
    And then there's marriage. It's litteraly hell to want it, but at the same time not because of your trust issues. The "what if" thoughts keeps popping in my head and I think of every possible (often bad) thing that can happen in a marriage. What if this happens, what if he says that, what if I do that, what if what if what if...... It never ends.
    I mentioned somewhere that after working for a few months, my chef gave me the masterkey for the whole place while she went on a special vacation due to work. She had many senior workers there but she chose me to take care of her place, for a whole month. No tutorial, nothin'. Just like that cuz she knew I have responsibilities. I became so happy as of she gave me a huge sack of gold. Someone actually trusted me once in my life. Being trusted is something I lack.
    My self esteem is below ground level but I'm working on it and It's getting better.
    So for the second question; Getting critisized, people trying to change me for their own benefits, having no one to trust or being trusted by are some stuff. And that low self esteem too.

    3. Daydreaming helped me more than some can imagine. Some think I am crazy but I am used to being missunderstood anyways and whatever I explain is just wrong anyways. So I rather be seen as sick than getting sick for real.
    If people don't want to listen to me, then I don't want to meet them either. I don't interact with people if it involves chit chatting. You know how some sisters can be, they love to talk about this and that. "oh did you know? She married that person yesterday" "oh, she bought a new dress from this blabla store" and it goes on. If the sitting does not have a deep discussion then I find no meaning in being there. This is when I fade away and start to daydream. But if we end up in a logical discussion, you'll find me being the one speaking the most.
    Sometimes I find it hard to understand my own genders behaviour. I get along better with the opposite gender. Growing up with only bros made me not have the same mind and interests as girls. I rather play video games than smalltalk. I rather buy guns than putting makeup and go shopping. I rather being fit than staying thin. (I am not bashing or talking badly about women. I just say what the majority of women do in the west). Having these interests freaks people out and I start being observed as a freak. Now I start to think that the only thing that can save me is marriage, because we will have more in common and can basically become best friends.
    I don't interact with other people than my own family so "interacting" is not concidered a daily task for me.
    I only eat when neccessary, which basically means never. It's cuz of my IBS ( lost 24punds in 2months, I have no apetite) so to be able to eat, I need to think of something else than food. I sit alone and eat so I can stay in my thought. I will focus on the food if I eat with other people and that stresses me out which makes it harder to eat. Daydreaming helped me to eat.
    I dream alot so sleeping is not an issue. I can get so mad tho, if someone wakes me up in a middle of a good night sleep. I think my daily life tasks are great apart from the interact thing.

    Personally, I thought about trying to control it and turn it into meditation as Aetos said. But I can't completely stop, That's asking for my brain to shut down.
    I'm still open for ideas so if you have anything to add, sure I don't mind sister

  14. #53
    VERSION : Alpha 6.6 Aetos's Avatar
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    AW: Re: AW: Re: I daydream and talk to myself to much

    Quote Originally Posted by P1RAT3N View Post
    "Yes yes, that's exactly what I thought "

    As for @amaryl-lis questions for me:

    1. I have always been a dreamer. I always went into deep thought if there was something interesting to think about. I am that typical one kid that never raises her hand in class even if she knew the answer. But it was normal. I just thought more than others.

    Two years ago, I got myocarditis which stressed my body to the level it triggered a grave IBS. I got horribly sick and depressed. Didn't even smile once during that year and the only emotion I showed was anger. I hate to show myself weak like that so I had to conceal it by showing something else. I withdraw from all people and went by myself. Somehow, I had to get the feelings out in a way and my brain was the strongest thing that could help me. So I started to use my ability to dream as a way to get away from the reality that slowly killed me. I am still sick but in better shape, I just shut my brain and transfers my thought to somewhere else whenever I feel very ill. It helps and I was and still am compelled to do it, or I turn crazy.
    I am also an extreme type of introvert. Having no one close enough to speak to (about negative stuff) made me develop the habit of speaking to myself. So my imagination became a way to "socialize" in the empty space around me and let my feelings out. Some people cry to let out, I can't cry. I get mad and aggressive instead. To stop myself from rampaging, I had to find a solution to settle down. I am this kind of person. Just Keeping everything inside me.
    I have no problem to entertain myself myself alone. It's no big deal. But some stuff just needs to get out u know and that's where the problem is.
    So for the first question; yes, you're right. It's a type of relaxation and still is. Now I am compelled to do it too

    2. It indeed is a problem. I took my dreaming to the next level and started to involve feelings innit. Bad daydreaming will make me mad, while positive ones can end up making me chuckle. It depends on what I think about really. Face expressions are included if I speak while daydreaming. If I just dream/think then no expressions are included. I just sit there with my head down, in a completely different place.
    If I start to speak to myself about something negative that happened with a person then yes, I'll feel like the person is right there and I want to punch their teeth out. I depends on what it's about. I have been neglected and still being neglected by people because of my personality. I don't share the majority of peoples interests, I'm being made fun of and people missunderstand me because I'm not much of a smalltalker. Whatever I do becomes bad, whatever I say is wrong and I always hear that there is always someone who makes it better. I feel worthless in some cases. I lost trust on humanity and I rather talk to a plant than a human, honestly. I don't trust anyone anymore.
    And then there's marriage. It's litteraly hell to want it, but at the same time not because of your trust issues. The "what if" thoughts keeps popping in my head and I think of every possible (often bad) thing that can happen in a marriage. What if this happens, what if he says that, what if I do that, what if what if what if...... It never ends.
    I mentioned somewhere that after working for a few months, my chef gave me the masterkey for the whole place while she went on a special vacation due to work. She had many senior workers there but she chose me to take care of her place, for a whole month. No tutorial, nothin'. Just like that cuz she knew I have responsibilities. I became so happy as of she gave me a huge sack of gold. Someone actually trusted me once in my life. Being trusted is something I lack.
    My self esteem is below ground level but I'm working on it and It's getting better.
    So for the second question; Getting critisized, people trying to change me for their own benefits, having no one to trust or being trusted by are some stuff. And that low self esteem too.

    3. Daydreaming helped me more than some can imagine. Some think I am crazy but I am used to being missunderstood anyways and whatever I explain is just wrong anyways. So I rather be seen as sick than getting sick for real.
    If people don't want to listen to me, then I don't want to meet them either. I don't interact with people if it involves chit chatting. You know how some sisters can be, they love to talk about this and that. "oh did you know? She married that person yesterday" "oh, she bought a new dress from this blabla store" and it goes on. If the sitting does not have a deep discussion then I find no meaning in being there. This is when I fade away and start to daydream. But if we end up in a logical discussion, you'll find me being the one speaking the most.
    Sometimes I find it hard to understand my own genders behaviour. I get along better with the opposite gender. Growing up with only bros made me not have the same mind and interests as girls. I rather play video games than smalltalk. I rather buy guns than putting makeup and go shopping. I rather being fit than staying thin. (I am not bashing or talking badly about women. I just say what the majority of women do in the west). Having these interests freaks people out and I start being observed as a freak. Now I start to think that the only thing that can save me is marriage, because we will have more in common and can basically become best friends.
    I don't interact with other people than my own family so "interacting" is not concidered a daily task for me.
    I only eat when neccessary, which basically means never. It's cuz of my IBS ( lost 24punds in 2months, I have no apetite) so to be able to eat, I need to think of something else than food. I sit alone and eat so I can stay in my thought. I will focus on the food if I eat with other people and that stresses me out which makes it harder to eat. Daydreaming helped me to eat.
    I dream alot so sleeping is not an issue. I can get so mad tho, if someone wakes me up in a middle of a good night sleep. I think my daily life tasks are great apart from the interact thing.

    Personally, I thought about trying to control it and turn it into meditation as Aetos said. But I can't completely stop, That's asking for my brain to shut down.
    I'm still open for ideas so if you have anything to add, sure I don't mind sister
    This was your reply to that sister so I am sorry to interrupt…

    1.I feel sad that this happened to you sister,but I am not worried.You are brave,you can go through it.How are you feeling now though? As far as I know some myocarditis and IBS can be permanently treated.What doctors say about your case? You don’t have to reply this,if you don’t want.I know its personal

    2.Can you the topic of your daydream? If you are dreaming of something that makes you mad for ex,can you change it into smth that will make you happy?

    2/3. This is the main reason why I wanted to interrupt.Sister,if all the fish in the ocean were asked what is in the world,they would all say its all blue and water.But even one tiny bird knows,that there is more than blue and water.They can all mock him,but at the end he is right.He sees everything from a different prespective.Your confidence can’t be ground level,when your mind flies so high.Dont let other people’s opinion drag you down when you aren’t meant for it.Stay as high as you can,the right people will reach there in shaa Allah.I think the same as you,that marriage would save me,but while waiting for someone to conquer your heart,start conquering yourself too.It is a big gem you need to safeguard,from something that would brake it.“Great minds discuss ideas,average minds discuss events,small minds discuss people”.I end with this quote and I would encourage you not to loose faith in humanity,as you aren’t alone.There are people like you out there,great minds,and some in this forum too

    3.You said you like exercising and you want to stay fit.I am surprised how you manage to do that without eating properly.Loosing 10 kg in 2 months its too much sister.Please try to eat more,I know its hard but please try.
    Btw…uhh,did you post my post again
    'A slave's life is all you understand, you know nothing of freedom. For if you did, you would have encouraged us to fight on, not only with our spears, but with everything we have'

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    Re: AW: Re: AW: Re: I daydream and talk to myself to much

    Quote Originally Posted by Aetos View Post
    This was your reply to that sister so I am sorry to interrupt…

    1.I feel sad that this happened to you sister,but I am not worried.You are brave,you can go through it.How are you feeling now though? As far as I know some myocarditis and IBS can be permanently treated.What doctors say about your case? You don’t have to reply this,if you don’t want.I know its personal

    2.Can you the topic of your daydream? If you are dreaming of something that makes you mad for ex,can you change it into smth that will make you happy?

    2/3. This is the main reason why I wanted to interrupt.Sister,if all the fish in the ocean were asked what is in the world,they would all say its all blue and water.But even one tiny bird knows,that there is more than blue and water.They can all mock him,but at the end he is right.He sees everything from a different prespective.Your confidence can’t be ground level,when your mind flies so high.Dont let other people’s opinion drag you down when you aren’t meant for it.Stay as high as you can,the right people will reach there in shaa Allah.I think the same as you,that marriage would save me,but while waiting for someone to conquer your heart,start conquering yourself too.It is a big gem you need to safeguard,from something that would brake it.“Great minds discuss ideas,average minds discuss events,small minds discuss people”.I end with this quote and I would encourage you not to loose faith in humanity,as you aren’t alone.There are people like you out there,great minds,and some in this forum too

    3.You said you like exercising and you want to stay fit.I am surprised how you manage to do that without eating properly.Loosing 10 kg in 2 months its too much sister.Please try to eat more,I know its hard but please try.
    Btw…uhh,did you post my post again
    I'm completely fine with you answering brother. I wouldn't quote you in the same post if I wanted it to be personal

    1. Myocarditis was a first and one time thing. I got droven to the hospital that day and they said it will get better if I rest. I didn't exercise for half a year so I don't hurt my heart again (they say the second time is always worse and sometimes deadly). It's during that time I lost 10kg cuz I couldn't eat at all. I am not loosing more and I eat, but still much less than average.
    IBS can't get cured but you can work your way around it. And I am trying to find that way. So I am much better now but still alot left to improve.A man needs around 2500cal a day and a woman a little less. I would guess mine stays roughly above 1500.

    2. Yup. Changing it is not an issue. Sometimes not if it's a topic that really cosumes my mind. Otherwise, I change whenever I feel like. I basically have full controll in what goes on in my mind.

    2/3. Wise words from you Aetos. Writing here made me find people alike and it is great. And best thing is when someone actually shares my thoughts and interests, I just did not find people like that IRL. They only exist here in this forum... Where y'all hiding at huh?

    3. I am naturally athletic. I gain 10kg muscles just by taking a step out of the house lol. I don't know why but gaining muscles is an easy task for me. So when I lost weight I became unhealthy but I did not lose as much muscles as I thought I would. But I got down below 10% body fat which is propably better than losing all of my muscles. There was actually a study saying that if you fast for a whole month (only drinking water) you'll lose muscles the first few days and after that the body will take from your fat storage. It depends on the person too so if it's true then I can comfirm it works on me xD. Nowadays, I try to fill with alot of protein to atleast keep my muscles and lose the fat instead. I took care of myself for a year now so I think that my body adjusted itself for that amount of calories. So eating more than 2000 is concidered overeating for my part and I'll gain weight. But I can't even reach that amount anyways lol.
    I am more healthy than before Alhamdulillah and I thank Allah for the genes I inherited from my Dad. Some people would break down after losing that much weight in less than two months.

    Sometimes I wonder if I have a second account I use while sleeping

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    AW: Re: AW: Re: AW: Re: I daydream and talk to myself to much

    Quote Originally Posted by P1RAT3N View Post
    I'm completely fine with you answering brother. I wouldn't quote you in the same post if I wanted it to be personal

    1. Myocarditis was a first and one time thing. I got droven to the hospital that day and they said it will get better if I rest. I didn't exercise for half a year so I don't hurt my heart again (they say the second time is always worse and sometimes deadly). It's during that time I lost 10kg cuz I couldn't eat at all. I am not loosing more and I eat, but still much less than average.
    IBS can't get cured but you can work your way around it. And I am trying to find that way. So I am much better now but still alot left to improve.A man needs around 2500cal a day and a woman a little less. I would guess mine stays roughly above 1500.

    2. Yup. Changing it is not an issue. Sometimes not if it's a topic that really cosumes my mind. Otherwise, I change whenever I feel like. I basically have full controll in what goes on in my mind.

    2/3. Wise words from you Aetos. Writing here made me find people alike and it is great. And best thing is when someone actually shares my thoughts and interests, I just did not find people like that IRL. They only exist here in this forum... Where y'all hiding at huh?

    3. I am naturally athletic. I gain 10kg muscles just by taking a step out of the house lol. I don't know why but gaining muscles is an easy task for me. So when I lost weight I became unhealthy but I did not lose as much muscles as I thought I would. But I got down below 10% body fat which is propably better than losing all of my muscles. There was actually a study saying that if you fast for a whole month (only drinking water) you'll lose muscles the first few days and after that the body will take from your fat storage. It depends on the person too so if it's true then I can comfirm it works on me xD. Nowadays, I try to fill with alot of protein to atleast keep my muscles and lose the fat instead. I took care of myself for a year now so I think that my body adjusted itself for that amount of calories. So eating more than 2000 is concidered overeating for my part and I'll gain weight. But I can't even reach that amount anyways lol.
    I am more healthy than before Alhamdulillah and I thank Allah for the genes I inherited from my Dad. Some people would break down after losing that much weight in less than two months.

    Sometimes I wonder if I have a second account I use while sleeping
    Ohh I am so happy that you are better now.Elhamdulillah!.Miocarditis is a nasty thing.IBS is not so dangerous though,but In shaa Allah it wont bother you that much.
    So you can control it then.Thats Super.Why did we even talk so much about advicing you to control it,when you already do.Sometimes I think like some people here say what they want to say no matter what the subject is haha
    Try that study on your hamster,but he will be so thin he will disappear.You will find his bones years later like they are dinosaurs fosils
    “I try to fill with alot of protein to atleast keep my muscles and lose the fat instead” That’s the bodybuilders goal.You are a pirate bodybuilder,weirdest profession combo on earth.But dont loose more fat its not healthy :O.20-30% is the ideal body fat for women.
    Lucky you.thats why you talk about rice and sandwiches.I need at least 3000 a day but I never get that much.These tests go so crazy on me for sure.I am not a norse giant -_-
    Ya its so weird,you are best friend material
    'A slave's life is all you understand, you know nothing of freedom. For if you did, you would have encouraged us to fight on, not only with our spears, but with everything we have'

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    Re: AW: Re: AW: Re: AW: Re: I daydream and talk to myself to much

    Quote Originally Posted by P1RAT3N View Post
    "Yes yes, that's exactly what I thought "

    As for @amaryl-lis questions for me:

    1. I have always been a dreamer. I always went into deep thought if there was something interesting to think about. I am that typical one kid that never raises her hand in class even if she knew the answer. But it was normal. I just thought more than others.

    Two years ago, I got myocarditis which stressed my body to the level it triggered a grave IBS. I got horribly sick and depressed. Didn't even smile once during that year and the only emotion I showed was anger. I hate to show myself weak like that so I had to conceal it by showing something else. I withdraw from all people and went by myself. Somehow, I had to get the feelings out in a way and my brain was the strongest thing that could help me. So I started to use my ability to dream as a way to get away from the reality that slowly killed me. I am still sick but in better shape, I just shut my brain and transfers my thought to somewhere else whenever I feel very ill. It helps and I was and still am compelled to do it, or I turn crazy.
    I am also an extreme type of introvert. Having no one close enough to speak to (about negative stuff) made me develop the habit of speaking to myself. So my imagination became a way to "socialize" in the empty space around me and let my feelings out. Some people cry to let out, I can't cry. I get mad and aggressive instead. To stop myself from rampaging, I had to find a solution to settle down. I am this kind of person. Just Keeping everything inside me.
    I have no problem to entertain myself myself alone. It's no big deal. But some stuff just needs to get out u know and that's where the problem is.
    So for the first question; yes, you're right. It's a type of relaxation and still is. Now I am compelled to do it too

    2. It indeed is a problem. I took my dreaming to the next level and started to involve feelings innit. Bad daydreaming will make me mad, while positive ones can end up making me chuckle. It depends on what I think about really. Face expressions are included if I speak while daydreaming. If I just dream/think then no expressions are included. I just sit there with my head down, in a completely different place.
    If I start to speak to myself about something negative that happened with a person then yes, I'll feel like the person is right there and I want to punch their teeth out. I depends on what it's about. I have been neglected and still being neglected by people because of my personality. I don't share the majority of peoples interests, I'm being made fun of and people missunderstand me because I'm not much of a smalltalker. Whatever I do becomes bad, whatever I say is wrong and I always hear that there is always someone who makes it better. I feel worthless in some cases. I lost trust on humanity and I rather talk to a plant than a human, honestly. I don't trust anyone anymore.
    And then there's marriage. It's litteraly hell to want it, but at the same time not because of your trust issues. The "what if" thoughts keeps popping in my head and I think of every possible (often bad) thing that can happen in a marriage. What if this happens, what if he says that, what if I do that, what if what if what if...... It never ends.
    I mentioned somewhere that after working for a few months, my chef gave me the masterkey for the whole place while she went on a special vacation due to work. She had many senior workers there but she chose me to take care of her place, for a whole month. No tutorial, nothin'. Just like that cuz she knew I have responsibilities. I became so happy as of she gave me a huge sack of gold. Someone actually trusted me once in my life. Being trusted is something I lack.
    My self esteem is below ground level but I'm working on it and It's getting better.
    So for the second question; Getting critisized, people trying to change me for their own benefits, having no one to trust or being trusted by are some stuff. And that low self esteem too.

    3. Daydreaming helped me more than some can imagine. Some think I am crazy but I am used to being missunderstood anyways and whatever I explain is just wrong anyways. So I rather be seen as sick than getting sick for real.
    If people don't want to listen to me, then I don't want to meet them either. I don't interact with people if it involves chit chatting. You know how some sisters can be, they love to talk about this and that. "oh did you know? She married that person yesterday" "oh, she bought a new dress from this blabla store" and it goes on. If the sitting does not have a deep discussion then I find no meaning in being there. This is when I fade away and start to daydream. But if we end up in a logical discussion, you'll find me being the one speaking the most.
    Sometimes I find it hard to understand my own genders behaviour. I get along better with the opposite gender. Growing up with only bros made me not have the same mind and interests as girls. I rather play video games than smalltalk. I rather buy guns than putting makeup and go shopping. I rather being fit than staying thin. (I am not bashing or talking badly about women. I just say what the majority of women do in the west). Having these interests freaks people out and I start being observed as a freak. Now I start to think that the only thing that can save me is marriage, because we will have more in common and can basically become best friends.
    I don't interact with other people than my own family so "interacting" is not concidered a daily task for me.
    I only eat when neccessary, which basically means never. It's cuz of my IBS ( lost 24punds in 2months, I have no apetite) so to be able to eat, I need to think of something else than food. I sit alone and eat so I can stay in my thought. I will focus on the food if I eat with other people and that stresses me out which makes it harder to eat. Daydreaming helped me to eat.
    I dream alot so sleeping is not an issue. I can get so mad tho, if someone wakes me up in a middle of a good night sleep. I think my daily life tasks are great apart from the interact thing.

    Personally, I thought about trying to control it and turn it into meditation as Aetos said. But I can't completely stop, That's asking for my brain to shut down.
    I'm still open for ideas so if you have anything to add, sure I don't mind sister
    Have you ever wondered ur daydreaming could mean something real or are they just "dreams". like movies u watch then move on, something like that. second, are ur daydreams repetitive dreams or is there something new everytime?

    i ask this because, i too, have
    this problem.

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    Re: AW: Re: AW: Re: AW: Re: I daydream and talk to myself to much

    Quote Originally Posted by Nemtet View Post
    Have you ever wondered ur daydreaming could mean something real or are they just "dreams". like movies u watch then move on, something like that. second, are ur daydreams repetitive dreams or is there something new everytime?

    i ask this because, i too, have
    this problem.
    My dreams depends on my mood really. They are often something that happens/happened/ may happen to me. They always have a real meaning behind them. Sometimes I prepar for something before it happens. Like if I have to go to a meeting, I can sit at home the day before and end up dreaming about being in that meeting. I can make up what I would say, what my response would be to a specific question etc. While in the real meeting, everything would be expected.
    They can also have a different type of meaning, as of trying to give me a message. If I feel sick, the daydreaming will not be good and sort of try to warn me that I need to fix my problem.
    If I can't put words into what I makes me feel sad deep inside, the dream will make me realize that I am not normal and have something that needs to get sorted out. They show me the unconcious side of me which I find as something great.

    My dreams can be repetitive, yes. It's not always the same and sometimes I can dream the same thing but from a different point of view. But it's because I can repeat something I like. If I find the dream amusing, then why not repeat it again?
    If I find a repetitive dream sickening, then it's just an indicator that I need to get a grip and fix that problem.

    All people do not speak out about their problems, some (like us) keeps them inside. Thinking is not a "sick" thing to do. It's our way to do it or how should we solve our own problems? We just need a way to control them or we get sick for real.
    @Aetos did I say this right?

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    Re: AW: Re: AW: Re: AW: Re: I daydream and talk to myself to much

    Quote Originally Posted by Aetos View Post
    Ohh I am so happy that you are better now.Elhamdulillah!.Miocarditis is a nasty thing.IBS is not so dangerous though,but In shaa Allah it wont bother you that much.
    So you can control it then.Thats Super.Why did we even talk so much about advicing you to control it,when you already do.Sometimes I think like some people here say what they want to say no matter what the subject is haha
    Try that study on your hamster,but he will be so thin he will disappear.You will find his bones years later like they are dinosaurs fosils
    “I try to fill with alot of protein to atleast keep my muscles and lose the fat instead” That’s the bodybuilders goal.You are a pirate bodybuilder,weirdest profession combo on earth.But dont loose more fat its not healthy :O.20-30% is the ideal body fat for women.
    Lucky you.thats why you talk about rice and sandwiches.I need at least 3000 a day but I never get that much.These tests go so crazy on me for sure.I am not a norse giant -_-
    Ya its so weird,you are best friend material
    Nah I can't do that to my hammy! He is my emergency food supply if I get to hungry!

    I don't want to loose more fat, but my body just detests it. I am prob close to 20% but can't get it higher for some reason. Being under 10% is not biologically healthy for a woman. Trust me, I sit more than I walk in a day but I am still more fit than my bros! I have no goal to be a bodybuilder for real
    I just hate to see a low number on the scale. I remember my youth when I was a walking stick, it was no fun when people made fun of me lol. So because muscles weight more than fat, loosing fat will not change that much on the scale. I trick my mind that way. U know, the power of INTJ

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    Re: I daydream and talk to myself to much

    judging from this thread and the length of your posts, you talk way too much, lucky for me I only see you on the forum
    It's not about me, it's all about you, coz you're special

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    Re: AW: Re: I daydream and talk to myself to much

    Quote Originally Posted by P1RAT3N View Post
    So for the first question; yes, you're right. It's a type of relaxation and still is. Now I am compelled to do it too

    So for the second question; Getting criticized, people trying to change me for their own benefits, having no one to trust or being trusted by are some stuff. And that low self esteem too.
    Daydreaming, especially if characterized by negative cognitions, has been correlated with symptoms of psychopathology, such as depression, schizophrenia, anxiety, and dissociation.

    I see you as an escapist, who creates her own world of dreams to "escape" from the unpleasant realities and banal aspects of life. It's okay that after being criticized and ignored you no longer trust people but I would advise you to be open to others, don't hold everything inside. Escapism is already about self-denial, but don't give others the advantage to continue supressing your voice. When you're hurt, ignored or insulted by others, return the insult. I won't tell you to return to the world of reality. Real life isn't always worth living because by reconstructing reality your dreams give you a survival advantage, your dreams might be one of the reasons that keep you sane. Be the queen of your own little world, just don't hold all negative emotions within you, speak out, and express yourself.

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    Re: I daydream and talk to myself to much

    Quote Originally Posted by Scrooge View Post
    judging from this thread and the length of your posts, you talk way too much, lucky for me I only see you on the forum
    I am used to say stuff with a few words, but people never understood me. So I started to speak much more but still can't get to the point. Now, I have to run my mouth nonstop to deliver a simple message.
    In the end, there's always someone who explains everything I said in one sentence.

    I feel sorry for my family who can't escape my runny mouth lol

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    Re: AW: Re: I daydream and talk to myself to much

    Quote Originally Posted by amaryl-lis View Post
    Daydreaming, especially if characterized by negative cognitions, has been correlated with symptoms of psychopathology, such as depression, schizophrenia, anxiety, and dissociation.

    I see you as an escapist, who creates her own world of dreams to "escape" from the unpleasant realities and banal aspects of life. It's okay that after being criticized and ignored you no longer trust people but I would advise you to be open to others, don't hold everything inside. Escapism is already about self-denial, but don't give others the advantage to continue supressing your voice. When you're hurt, ignored or insulted by others, return the insult. I won't tell you to return to the world of reality. Real life isn't always worth living because by reconstructing reality your dreams give you a survival advantage, your dreams might be one of the reasons that keep you sane. Be the queen of your own little world, just don't hold all negative emotions within you, speak out, and express yourself.
    U know, when people hurt you, some starts to cry and some insults back. I can’t insult, I just ignore them instead. But the marks are still there and it stacks up whenever someone hurts me more.
    And because I am such a bad speaker, I end up getting a blackout and uses force that actually hurts them more than neccessary. I grew up now and stopped fighting with every single one. I try to use logic n' facts to "win" but negative people don't listen so I end up burning inside. I started to ignore because my last option of solving a problem is to aggressive and I know I'll use it sooner or later if I stay to long in a problem.

    It would be great to speak out, but to who? Family does not deserve a nagging child, they deserve better than that. I have no friends close to me or someone else that actually understands me IRL. So I end up with a poor punching bag that gets beaten everyday.

    I'll start uni (they are good here in Sweden, u see no haram there) soon where people are more mature, I might find someone reserved like me who understands my weird complexed brain.

    Your advices were good. JazakAllahu kheyr sister

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    AW: I daydream and talk to myself to much

    Quote Originally Posted by P1RAT3N View Post
    @Aetos did I say this right?
    You mean did you post my post again in a right way? Yes you did,congrats.Here todays popcorn ration

    Quote Originally Posted by P1RAT3N View Post
    I have no friends close to me or someone else that actually understands me IRL.
    You dont have friends,but you have brothers and sisters here.We dont know your name,nor your face.Dont worry,Say whatever you want.We will understand in shaa Allah.at least your writer would.

    Quote Originally Posted by P1RAT3N View Post
    So I end up with a poor punching bag that gets beaten everyday.
    AHA,this is the reason for your muscles.And you tell me oh I only watch a tree,oh I dont move much,oh I just sit,but you train like a MMA fighter girl

    ps:I sent a link to a thread as a rep comment.chek it out if you like
    'A slave's life is all you understand, you know nothing of freedom. For if you did, you would have encouraged us to fight on, not only with our spears, but with everything we have'

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    New Member amaryl-lis's Avatar
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    Re: AW: I daydream and talk to myself to much

    Quote Originally Posted by P1RAT3N View Post
    U know, when people hurt you, some starts to cry and some insults back. I can’t insult, I just ignore them instead. But the marks are still there and it stacks up whenever someone hurts me more.
    And because I am such a bad speaker, I end up getting a blackout and uses force that actually hurts them more than neccessary.

    It would be great to speak out, but to who?
    It's good you don't insult back, but train yourself to speak when you get insulted. Voice is power. Speak calmly to the person who upsets you. If you internalize your emotions it will be you who's left hurt or enraged. If you don't choose to react by speaking, then don't react at all and ignore, and by ignoring I mean don't cry or get engry about the person or situation, don't even think about it later, and just forget about it, like the person never existed, or the situation never occured!

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    Re: AW: I daydream and talk to myself to much

    Quote Originally Posted by amaryl-lis View Post
    It's good you don't insult back, but train yourself to speak when you get insulted. Voice is power. Speak calmly to the person who upsets you. If you internalize your emotions it will be you who's left hurt or enraged. If you don't choose to react by speaking, then don't react at all and ignore, and by ignoring I mean don't cry or get engry about the person or situation, don't even think about it later, and just forget about it, like the person never existed, or the situation never occured!
    ok thank you sister. I'll make sure to forget.

    I already got better at it those last few days. Maybe I just had to write it down and fine someone who can listen, and you guys helped me ^^ I am grateful.

    Also, I turned my "dreaming" do meditation. It was easier than expected and I've been doing it for a while and it works wonders! no more stress. I can chill whenever I feel the slightest stress!
    Gotta give creds to @Aetos for giving me this tip. Jazakallah Kheyr brother. And thank you again @amaryl-lis for your help too! I appreciate all of it

 

 

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