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  1. #1
    Umm Kulthoom Rumaysah~'s Avatar
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    'investing' in your wife, an example from the life of sheikh ibn uthaymeen

    From an interview with the wife of ibn uthaymeen

    Is there anything that the Shaykh asked you to do that seemed strange and made you feel hesitant?

    Answer: It may be unknown to most that I was illiterate and did not receive any kind of formal education. When I married the Shaykh, I was fully busy in his service and in providing him the correct, comfortable environment to seek knowledge and teach. After we had our children, I was busy with them, and it took all my time to raise them, in addition to the time I used to spend to help and support the Shaykh in seeking knowledge. After the children grew up and my responsibilities began to ease slightly, I was surprised that the Shaykh began to incite me to join the senior school i.e. for the elderly. Although hesitant at first, I decided to join. During this period, he followed my achievements and would not accept any of my sons signing my transcripts of record. He would say,

    “I am the one to sign for all that relates to your academic achievements.”
    This moment of learning is a period that cannot be forgotten by me due to its great, innumerable benefits.

    “Al-Mutamayyizah” Magazine Issue No. 45, Ramadhan, 1427. Confirmed & Presented in English by Dr. Saleh As-Saleh.
    شَكَوْتُ إلَى وَكِيعٍ سُوءَ حِفْظِي
    فَأرْشَدَنِي إلَى تَرْكِ المعَاصي
    وَأخْبَرَنِي بأَنَّ العِلْمَ نُورٌ
    ونورُ الله لا يهدى لعاصي

  2. #201
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    Re: 'investing' in your wife, an example from the life of sheikh ibn uthaymeen

    Quote Originally Posted by Dontknowname View Post
    Ladies listen, men help out, simple.
    Wish that was true but Ladies listen, men order and don't help out, simple

  3. #202

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    Re: 'investing' in your wife, an example from the life of sheikh ibn uthaymeen

    Quote Originally Posted by P1RAT3N View Post
    Wish that was true but Ladies listen, men order and don't help out, simple
    They don't help out even though they work to put food on the table and provide shelter? Ungrateful much?

    Remember, there will be more women in hell simply because of the fact that they are ungrateful to their husbands. So there's that.

    If this mindset of yours continues, I'd advise you against marriage.

  4. #203
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    Re: 'investing' in your wife, an example from the life of sheikh ibn uthaymeen

    Quote Originally Posted by Sorrow' View Post
    They don't help out even though they work to put food on the table and provide shelter? Ungrateful much?

    Remember, there will be more women in hell simply because of the fact that they are ungrateful to their husbands. So there's that.

    If this mindset of yours continues, I'd advise you against marriage.
    I am talking about those men who are ungrateful to their wives and does not appreciate their work. Never said I am ungrateful cuz I am not. If you read my previous posts you would know that I am ready to sacrifice my hands for a good husband.

  5. #204
    Abu-Tawheed Saif-Uddin's Avatar
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    Re: 'investing' in your wife, an example from the life of sheikh ibn uthaymeen

    Quote Originally Posted by P1RAT3N View Post
    Who said she would sit and put her feet up? So you don't even trust your own wife doing her duties herself? You think she will miss something or cook bad food?
    It's this mindet that is annoying. You think the wife can't even do simple work without needing advice. Where is the trust in a marriage? Just cuz you said nothing to her, she will chill the whole day?
    No, we have eyes, we have arms, we have a brain and good common sence. But we still do not get the respect we deserve at our OWN house. While you do whatever you want at work. Fair, right?
    Hold on your backtracking here,

    Either your saying she should be doing the chores or your not,

    Which is it?

    Husband and wife complement each other, they don't think I'll only do it if it's Obligatory or Chil whilst the other slaves away.

    I don't think you understood the concept of marriage properly.
    http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

    "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

    – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

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    Re: 'investing' in your wife, an example from the life of sheikh ibn uthaymeen

    Quote Originally Posted by Saif-Uddin View Post
    Hold on your backtracking here,

    Either your saying she should be doing the chores or your not,

    Which is it?

    Husband and wife complement each other, they don't think I'll only do it if it's Obligatory or Chil whilst the other slaves away.

    I don't think you understood the concept of marriage properly.
    If she stays at home as a housewife, she will do it ofcourse. Obligatory or not, it's not nice to let the man come back home and do the work. what the heck that's not respectful.

    What I ment is the husbands telling the wife to do it like this and like that, not giving her the choice to fix the house how she wants it to be. If someone gave me a paper before going to work, telling me to do the laundry this time of the day, wash this amount of dishes and mop the floor before he comes back..., that would make me mad. I am grown enough to have responsibilites. Telling me like this is disrespectful and it would give me the expression that he does not trust my work. And that I alone, can't take care of a house. If you can't trust the other half, then simply don't marry.
    It's another story if he kindly asked me to iron his clothes because he has to go to work and can't do it. I would happily help him with that. There is a way to ask someone for something and I prefer the respectful way of asking.
    Some abuse the "obediance" thing and think that it's alright to demand her around not even giving her feelings a second thought. that's what makes me mad.

    No one should slave away. If the wife gets food served on a silver plate while the husband eats dirt then that's abuse against the man. Obligatory or not, you should give him love as much as you can. If you rebel like this, do you even love your husband? No one needs obligation or permission to make your other half happy. Loves comes from the heart.

    I hope I understand the concept of marriage, but I just write like a retard and everything becomes unclear

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    Re: 'investing' in your wife, an example from the life of sheikh ibn uthaymeen

    demand her around not even giving her feelings a second thought.

    Erm, no one does this, stop whining.

    If anything it's the wives ordering men to get the groceries and make it home in time whenever they go out otherwise they got berated.

  8. #207
    Abu-Tawheed Saif-Uddin's Avatar
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    Re: 'investing' in your wife, an example from the life of sheikh ibn uthaymeen

    Quote Originally Posted by P1RAT3N View Post
    If she stays at home as a housewife, she will do it ofcourse. Obligatory or not, it's not nice to let the man come back home and do the work. what the heck that's not respectful.

    What I ment is the husbands telling the wife to do it like this and like that, not giving her the choice to fix the house how she wants it to be. If someone gave me a paper before going to work, telling me to do the laundry this time of the day, wash this amount of dishes and mop the floor before he comes back..., that would make me mad. I am grown enough to have responsibilites. Telling me like this is disrespectful and it would give me the expression that he does not trust my work. And that I alone, can't take care of a house. If you can't trust the other half, then simply don't marry.
    It's another story if he kindly asked me to iron his clothes because he has to go to work and can't do it. I would happily help him with that. There is a way to ask someone for something and I prefer the respectful way of asking.
    Some abuse the "obediance" thing and think that it's alright to demand her around not even giving her feelings a second thought. that's what makes me mad.

    No one should slave away. If the wife gets food served on a silver plate while the husband eats dirt then that's abuse against the man. Obligatory or not, you should give him love as much as you can. If you rebel like this, do you even love your husband? No one needs obligation or permission to make your other half happy. Loves comes from the heart.

    I hope I understand the concept of marriage, but I just write like a retard and everything becomes unclear
    If she does it then there is no problems,

    I'm talking about those who will only do it if is Obligatory,

    Otherwise they won't do chores.

    They are asking for trouble.

    http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

    "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

    – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

  9. #208
    VERSION : Alpha 6.6 Aetos's Avatar
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    Re: 'investing' in your wife, an example from the life of sheikh ibn uthaymeen

    Uh why I always come when the arguing is over? ... nc nc nc..

    Quote Originally Posted by P1RAT3N View Post
    I am ready to cut my own hands and feed it to him to show my thanks if he is great against me.[/B]
    Quote Originally Posted by P1RAT3N View Post
    If you read my previous posts you would know that I am ready to sacrifice my hands for a good husband.
    Quote Originally Posted by P1RAT3N View Post
    Who said she would sit and put her feet up?
    No, we have eyes, we have arms,
    oh man,you really like talking about your limbs haha...Apart from joke,you have an awesome mindset,I like your posts,keep that up

    Quote Originally Posted by Sorrow' View Post

    If anything it's the wives ordering men to get the groceries and make it home in time whenever they go out otherwise they got berated.
    Yeah because men in general put too much pressure on their wife to cook in time,even if they dont acknowledge this.If we expect her to cook on time,make groceries on time,serve the meals on time,then we can as well do it ourselves.We are stronger physically at the end.You should try to cook and mid cooking see that you miss an ingredient,then you will understand the struggle,and why women want groceries on time :P

    Quote Originally Posted by Saif-Uddin View Post
    If she does it then there is no problems,

    I'm talking about those who will only do it if is Obligatory,

    Otherwise they won't do chores.

    They are asking for trouble.

    Well actually they dont have to do anything that isnt Obligatory.That is why some things arent obligatory,because nobody is forced to do them.Chores arent obligatory o.O I thought so too but women dont have to do anything related to chores,but they get good deeds if they do it.If we knew how good it is to sweep the house or do the cooking,we would race with our spouses on who do more chores.Check it,its sunnah to help the wife with chores

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    Re: 'investing' in your wife, an example from the life of sheikh ibn uthaymeen

    Quote Originally Posted by Aetos View Post
    oh man,you really like talking about your limbs haha...Apart from joke,you have an awesome mindset,I like your posts,keep that up
    I realized how funny I sounded after you've put them together
    There is nothing more valuable than the body and soul of a human. I use them to express my gratitude and loyalty to someone.

    Yeah because men in general put too much pressure on their wife to cook in time,even if they dont acknowledge this.If we expect her to cook on time,make groceries on time,serve the meals on time,then we can as well do it ourselves.We are stronger physically at the end.You should try to cook and mid cooking see that you miss an ingredient,then you will understand the struggle,and why women want groceries on time :P
    Well actually they dont have to do anything that isnt Obligatory.That is why some things arent obligatory,because nobody is forced to do them.Chores arent obligatory o.O I thought so too but women dont have to do anything related to chores,but they get good deeds if they do it.If we knew how good it is to sweep the house or do the cooking,we would race with our spouses on who do more chores.Check it,its sunnah to help the wife with chores
    You explained it really good. Better than all of my posts. I still could not get to the point after writing all that text. You just said it in a few sentences lol. Kudos Akhi
    Mashallah brother you really are positive. I should learn to be calm like that. I get mad and worked up because it feels like nobody understands me and it's like I'm talking to the wall. Then I get missunderstood which makes me even more mad.

    May Allah grant you a good wife who gives you a cheerful and happy life. Mashallah Tabarakallah.

  11. #210
    VERSION : Alpha 6.6 Aetos's Avatar
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    Re: 'investing' in your wife, an example from the life of sheikh ibn uthaymeen

    Quote Originally Posted by P1RAT3N View Post
    You explained it really good. Better than all of my posts. I still could not get to the point after writing all that text. You just said it in a few sentences lol. Kudos Akhi
    Mashallah brother you really are positive. I should learn to be calm like that. I get mad and worked up because it feels like nobody understands me and it's like I'm talking to the wall. Then I get missunderstood which makes me even more mad.

    May Allah grant you a good wife who gives you a cheerful and happy life. Mashallah Tabarakallah.

    ohh I dont deserve so much credit.You did a very good job on getting to the point too ma shaa Allah

    Thank you sister,but I dont have anymore hopes to be honest.Nobody would accept me cuz of my passport,no matter how good I am.But in shaa Allah the miracle happens lol.As I have said in the thread where I explained my situation,Jannah and a good muslim wife,thats all I want . Thank you so much again.May Allah give you both dunya and akhirah...and improve your photoshop skills too :P

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    Re: 'investing' in your wife, an example from the life of sheikh ibn uthaymeen

    Quote Originally Posted by Aetos View Post
    ohh I dont deserve so much credit.You did a very good job on getting to the point too ma shaa Allah

    Thank you sister,but I dont have anymore hopes to be honest.Nobody would accept me cuz of my passport,no matter how good I am.But in shaa Allah the miracle happens lol.As I have said in the thread where I explained my situation,Jannah and a good muslim wife,thats all I want . Thank you so much again.May Allah give you both dunya and akhirah...and improve your photoshop skills too :P
    Keep being strong brother. Sabr is the key to success. If Allah says you will marry, then you will inshallah.
    I'll keep you in my dua'a. May Allah make it easier on you.

    Ameen ya rabb. Thank you

  13. #212
    Abu-Tawheed Saif-Uddin's Avatar
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    Re: 'investing' in your wife, an example from the life of sheikh ibn uthaymeen

    Quote Originally Posted by Aetos View Post
    Uh why I always come when the arguing is over? ... nc nc nc..







    oh man,you really like talking about your limbs haha...Apart from joke,you have an awesome mindset,I like your posts,keep that up



    Yeah because men in general put too much pressure on their wife to cook in time,even if they dont acknowledge this.If we expect her to cook on time,make groceries on time,serve the meals on time,then we can as well do it ourselves.We are stronger physically at the end.You should try to cook and mid cooking see that you miss an ingredient,then you will understand the struggle,and why women want groceries on time :P



    Well actually they dont have to do anything that isnt Obligatory.That is why some things arent obligatory,because nobody is forced to do them.Chores arent obligatory o.O I thought so too but women dont have to do anything related to chores,but they get good deeds if they do it.If we knew how good it is to sweep the house or do the cooking,we would race with our spouses on who do more chores.Check it,its sunnah to help the wife with chores
    They do if their husband asks them,

    And to be fair he should not even have to ask her to do chores whilst he's at work.

    Some people seem to be living in cuckoo land,

    A marriage where one spouse doesn't do anything, will self destruct inevitably, that is it leads to Talaaq.

    Secondly of the Brother married a wife who only listens to Him when she has to do something Obligatory, then he married a selfish individual.

    http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

    "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

    – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

  14. #213
    VERSION : Alpha 6.6 Aetos's Avatar
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    Re: 'investing' in your wife, an example from the life of sheikh ibn uthaymeen

    Quote Originally Posted by Saif-Uddin View Post
    They do if their husband asks them,

    And to be fair he should not even have to ask her to do chores whilst he's at work.

    Some people seem to be living in cuckoo land,

    A marriage where one spouse doesn't do anything, will self destruct inevitably, that is it leads to Talaaq.

    Secondly of the Brother married a wife who only listens to Him when she has to do something Obligatory, then he married a selfish individual.

    Yup,I agree with you.If she stays home the whole day and excepts the man to do everything,she is selfish and not "wifey material".But what I meant is that,even in this case,as far as I know,if she doesnt want to do it,she doesnt have to,she isnt obligated.But if she does we should help,not only it grows her love for us but also we get good deeds.Elhamdulillah that we can ask them before getting married and settle some things up

 

 

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