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    Dawah to a neighbor

    salam alaikum

    One of my neighbors has become interested in Islam through contact with me and I'm not really sure how to go about dawah nor do I feel very comfortable talking to her.

    any suggestions on how I should handle this?

    I'll be talking to her again in the next couple of days as I agree to fix her sink.

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    Re: Dawah to a neighbor



    Maybe this thread might help you:

    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...rts-Dawaah-etc

    What exactly are you unsure about regarding propagating the Deen?

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    Re: Dawah to a neighbor

    Quote Originally Posted by Samsandman View Post
    salam alaikum

    One of my neighbors has become interested in Islam through contact with me and I'm not really sure how to go about dawah nor do I feel very comfortable talking to her.

    any suggestions on how I should handle this?

    I'll be talking to her again in the next couple of days as I agree to fix her sink.


    remember the story of that man.... that I cant remember the name of

    but protect yourself - cos shaitaan will try and mix your sincerity in wanting to help her and give her dawah and leading you to fitnah

    im not liking this samsandman
    ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
    "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
    [Al-Imran 3:159]

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    Re: Dawah to a neighbor

    Barsisa! The story of barsisa
    ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
    "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
    [Al-Imran 3:159]

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    Re: Dawah to a neighbor

    At the time of Bani Israel, there was a man in a small village, called Barsisa. He was, what you call, a monk. But he was a true Christian. He believed in Tawheed and believed Isa (peace be upon him) was a messenger of Allah.


    One day three brothers decided to go for Jihad. But they had a sister and they did not want to leave her alone. So they went looking for someone to take care of her. The town people suggested to leave her with Barsisa, because of his piety. So they went to him and when they asked him, he said, "I seek refuge from the cursed Shaytan" and said No! This was because he was scared of falling into sin (due to the potential fitnah it may cause). Then Shaytan came to Barsisa in the form of Waswasah (Whisperings). Shaytan is very smart and knew Barsisa had a soft heart. So he told Barsisa, "What if they can’t find someone good and leave her with someone bad, wouldn’t that be your fault?"Now Barsisa did not realise this was Shaytan whispering in his heart, and because of his compassion for others, he decided to accept their request and help the woman.


    He let her stay in a house opposite the church. He did this so that it would be easy for him to leave her food outside the church and she could come get it herself. But after sometime, shaytan returned. This time he told Barsisa, "Why don’t you leave the food closer for her, so that people don’t see her moving back and forth alone!"Barsisa agreed and started leaving the food outside the house. But shaytan wasn’t happy with this either, so sometime later, he returned and ask Barsisa, "Why don’t you go in and leave it on the table, so that no one sees her coming out and going in alone all the time!" Again, Barsisa agreed and he started leaving the food on the table.


    Then as time went by, Shaytan returned and said to him, "Why don’t you talk to her, she is all alone and has no one to talk to!" Barsisa agreed and started talking to her from behind a door (so as to screen himself). But this would lead them to almost shouting to each other to here themselves. Shaytan asked Barsisa to just go in and talk to her, and finally, he (Shaytan) had got the alone in a room. Shaytan had completed the difficult part. It wasn’t after Barsisa and the woman committed fornication. And to make things worse, she also became pregnant. As soon as the baby was born, Shaytan returned, and said to Barsisa, "What have you done? Look at the result of your evil (i.e. the child), get rid of the evidence otherwise the brothers will kill you!" Barsisa killed the baby and buried it in the same room the woman was in. Shaytan then told Barsisa, "Do you think you can kill the child of a woman and expect her not to tell anyone?!" and So Barsisa killed her and buried her alongside the baby! He then made a fake grace outside and when her brothers returned, he informed them that she died of illness. After seeing the grave and make dua for her, they returned home and accepted Allah’s decree.


    Later that night, Shaytan came to them in their dream and informed them about what Barsisa had done and where the child and their sister could be found. The brother got up upset and confused, and informed his brothers of the dream, and they both said they had the same dream. So they believed that it must be true, and when and dug up the fake grave and found it empty. They then dug the place shaytan showed them in the dream and found the child and woman!


    Furious, the brothers took Barsisa to the Leader to get his punishment. Barsisa knew that he would be given the death penalty. Shaytan came to Barsisa again, for the final time this time. This time he revealed himself and told him he was the one whispering the thoughts to him. And he said that he could save Barsisa, and as long as Barsisa makes sujood to him! Barsisa, out of desperation made Sujood to him , this confirmed his Kufr (disbelief) and Shaytan said to him "I am free of you, I fear Allah, the Lord of the ‘Alamin (mankind, jinns and all that exists)!" and left Barsisa was stonned to death and on the day of judgement he will be resurrected making Sujood to Shaytan!


    So look how shaytan tricked him. He came to him as a friend, but was in fact his biggest enemy!


    (Their allies deceived them) like Shaitan (Satan), when he says to man: "Disbelieve in Allah." But when (man) disbelieves in Allah, Shaitan (Satan) says: "I am free of you, I fear Allah, the Lord of the ‘Alamin (mankind, jinns and all that exists)!" (Al-Hashr 59:16)


    Shaytan will never make you sin directly, he will always trick you using Waswasah and he is more patient than any of us. So we should always seek refuge in Allah from Shaytan. Never think you have enough knowledge or are strong enough to take on Shaytan. This is why the Scholars of Islam are the ones with the most Taqwa, fear of Allah. So reflect on the story, if Shaytan told Barsisa to make sujood in the beginning, Barsisa would have said no staright away, but Shaytan has a plan in hand it was a step by step policy that made Barsisa finally breakdown and commit Kufr.


    Source: Stories in the Quran – Ibn Kathir
    ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
    "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
    [Al-Imran 3:159]

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    Re: Dawah to a neighbor

    May Allah swt always protect us from his sly and wicked ways ameen
    ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
    "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
    [Al-Imran 3:159]

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    Re: Dawah to a neighbor

    Quote Originally Posted by horizon View Post


    Maybe this thread might help you:

    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...rts-Dawaah-etc

    What exactly are you unsure about regarding propagating the Deen?
    How I can give dawah with a good conscious. I can't say go to this or that masjid and learn islam after the way I was treated by those masajid,she will just be exploited with any doubt by them.

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    Re: Dawah to a neighbor

    Quote Originally Posted by RaNdOm View Post
    May Allah swt always protect us from his sly and wicked ways ameen
    ameen

    Thank your for posting that story as your first post post pretty vague.

    what you've brought up is the major concern for me.

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    Re: Dawah to a neighbor

    Quote Originally Posted by Samsandman View Post
    salam alaikum

    One of my neighbors has become interested in Islam through contact with me and I'm not really sure how to go about dawah nor do I feel very comfortable talking to her.

    any suggestions on how I should handle this?

    I'll be talking to her again in the next couple of days as I agree to fix her sink.
    I understand your concern about where you direct her to for dawah, but the concern also needs to be for yourself. It’s not a good idea to go into a neighbor’s house to fix the sink. Send her to the mosque for Islam and to the plumber for her sink.

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    Kintsukuroi RaNdOm's Avatar
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    Re: Dawah to a neighbor

    Quote Originally Posted by Samsandman View Post
    ameen

    Thank your for posting that story as your first post post pretty vague.

    what you've brought up is the major concern for me.
    Well I am glad u are honest with yourself enough to list that as a concern where others would brush it off as something small

    and I'm glad that Allah swt decreed for you to make this thread and for me to click on the thread and remember the story of barsisa - it was bugging me so much I couldn't remember his name so I googled many different variations til I finally got it. Alhamdulillah I felt restless until I came about it.

    I really think u are in a position that u need to be most careful

    don't you know of a sis that can help her

    when it doubt ... @Gingerbeardman it
    ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
    "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
    [Al-Imran 3:159]

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    Re: Dawah to a neighbor

    Quote Originally Posted by RaNdOm View Post
    Well I am glad u are honest with yourself enough to list that as a concern where others would brush it off as something small

    and I'm glad that Allah swt decreed for you to make this thread and for me to click on the thread and remember the story of barsisa - it was bugging me so much I couldn't remember his name so I googled many different variations til I finally got it. Alhamdulillah I felt restless until I came about it.

    I really think u are in a position that u need to be most careful

    don't you know of a sis that can help her

    when it doubt ... @Gingerbeardman it

    every time I talk with her I'm reminded o venturing out on a pond thats frozen over,
    is the ice thick enough to safely walk on?
    couple small steps and listen for that cracking sound,no sound?ok good
    couple more small steps,no sound? good!

    but then I think about the verse about following in the footsteps of shaytan,he likes me to take small steps as well and
    realize that even though the ice didn't break beneath me on the small steps out that I still need to get back to the safety of solid ground.

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    Kintsukuroi RaNdOm's Avatar
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    Re: Dawah to a neighbor

    Quote Originally Posted by Samsandman View Post
    every time I talk with her I'm reminded o venturing out on a pond thats frozen over,
    is the ice thick enough to safely walk on?
    couple small steps and listen for that cracking sound,no sound?ok good
    couple more small steps,no sound? good!

    but then I think about the verse about following in the footsteps of shaytan,he likes me to take small steps as well and
    realize that even though the ice didn't break beneath me on the small steps out that I still need to get back to the safety of solid ground.
    Yes cos ice is slippery and deceiving

    it only takes one footstep at slightly the wrong angle and you've already fallen to the ground

    plus ice can be so hidden sometimes you might not even realise it's there

    make thoughts of your own hereafter and your own grave stronger

    why are you fixing her sink?
    ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
    "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
    [Al-Imran 3:159]

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    Re: Dawah to a neighbor

    Quote Originally Posted by RaNdOm View Post
    Yes cos ice is slippery and deceiving

    it only takes one footstep at slightly the wrong angle and you've already fallen to the ground

    plus ice can be so hidden sometimes you might not even realise it's there

    make thoughts of your own hereafter and your own grave stronger

    why are you fixing her sink?
    cause she asked and I'm a nice guy, to a fault.


    she doesn't have money for a plumber or things like that so sometimes I help her fix stuff,carry up her groceries, etc.and she gives me a bit of food in return.

    She is my neighbor so I try to be nice to all my neighbors and I have really good neighbors,except the muslims ones don't like me very much.

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    Re: Dawah to a neighbor

    If your that worried ask her if someone else can be present at the sink fixing, so neither of you are tempted to make a pass at each other. Does she have any existing religious affiliation? Is she an atheist/agnostic? Is she into philosophy or science? These will have a bearing on how you can lead dawah discussion with her. Also it sounds like you are worried about self control. If you know you don't have control of your desires try to avoid her , unless she is someone who has potential for marriage and not just provide a thrill. Sorry for being blunt.
    Spears shall be shaken! Shields shall be splintered! a sword day..a red day..ere the sun rises! Ride now! Ride now! Ride! Ride to ruin, and the world’s ending!

    None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.”

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    Re: Dawah to a neighbor

    I don't think she's really figured that out herself but I guess her current beliefs are leaning toward unitarian christian?
    I've talked with her about that and she's almost muslim, but not quite,without realizing it.

    Met a few people like that but as soon as you suggest they are almost muslim already and Islam is actually the best religion for them
    they recoil in horror, as well,how do I put this nicely, "muslim" immigrants from "muslim" countries have done such a hatchet job to the name of Islam and muslim
    locally that some people don't want to be associated with those names at all.

    Marriage potential for me?I thought not under the current situation but I'm realizing that muslim immigrants are so arrogant and racist that I don't have many options.

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    Re: Dawah to a neighbor

    Quote Originally Posted by Samsandman View Post
    salam alaikum

    One of my neighbors has become interested in Islam through contact with me and I'm not really sure how to go about dawah nor do I feel very comfortable talking to her.

    any suggestions on how I should handle this?

    I'll be talking to her again in the next couple of days as I agree to fix her sink.


    It's good you should feel uncomfortable speaking to her, the point where you feel comfortable speaking to a ghair mahram woman then go looking for your emaan because you've clearly left it behind somewhere and emaan is not just in the heart, but in the actions of the limbs and speech of the tongue as well as reported from the understanding of the salaf.

    The easy answer is find a sister to give her da'wah, that way it removes the fitnah from yourself and puts that barrier back in place, however that is not always possible. I volunteer in the field of Da'wah and even I struggle to find sisters willing and able to take up such work, brothers sometimes also at times.

    So perhaps a better way is to take a chaperone, someone to make sure you two are not alone together when you visit this women to fix her sink, so a relative, your sister if you have one, or a friend if not. You can make an excuse you are showing them how to fix sinks, or else just be honest which is better and tell this lady it is because in Islam men and women are meant to avoid being alone together.

    As for the actual da'wah, depends on what stage she is at.

    If she is just curious, answer her questions honestly, where you don't know say 'I don't know' and then say you'll get her answer, then do your best to do so. Take her a few things to read as gifts.

    If she is very strongly interested, then I use a different approach. I will talk generally about the deen, then mention it's shows credit to them to be so open minded, ask them what attracts them to Islam when everyone else is being so negative about Islam at the moment. Build up a positive mental image for her.
    Then I hit her with a big question, such as if Islam is so good what is stopping you becoming Muslim?
    Then calmly and politely knock down and show as illogical any objection they can bring, Allah willing.

    Hope that is some help and glad to see you're keeping up the manly arts of sink fixing, I am next to useless as most jobs around the house myself, much to my embarrassment.
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    Re: Dawah to a neighbor

    JazakAllah khair for your response

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    Re: Dawah to a neighbor

    Quote Originally Posted by Samsandman View Post
    salam alaikum

    One of my neighbors has become interested in Islam through contact with me and I'm not really sure how to go about dawah nor do I feel very comfortable talking to her.

    any suggestions on how I should handle this?

    I'll be talking to her again in the next couple of days as I agree to fix her sink.
    Don't. It is only deception and temptation to give dawah to the opposite sex.

    Mixing between men and women at work has bad consequences and obvious evil effects on both men and women, including the following:

    1 – Haraam looking. Allaah has commanded both believing men and believing women to lower their gaze. He says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is purer for them. Verily, Allaah is All‑Aware of what they do.

    31. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts) and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent…”

    [al-Noor 24:30-31]

    In Saheeh Muslim (2159) it is narrated that Jareer ibn ‘Abd-Allaah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: I asked the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) about an accidental glance and he ordered me to avert my gaze.

    2 – It may result in haraam touching., which includes shaking hands. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If one of you were to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle, that would be better for him than his touching a woman who is not permissible for him.” Narrated by al-Tabaraani from Ma’qil ibn Yasaar; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’ no. 5045.

    3 – Mixing may lead to a man being alone with a non-mahram woman, which is haraam because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No man is alone with a woman but the third one present is the shaytaan.” Narated by al-Tirmidhi (2165); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.

    According to another report: “Whoever believes in Allaah and the Last Day, let him not be alone with a woman who has no mahram present, for the third one present will be the shaytaan.” Narrated by Ahmad and classed as saheeh by al-Hakaim, and al-Dhahabi agreed with him; it was also classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Ghaayat al-Maraam (180).

    4 – Another of its evil consequences is when a man becomes infatuated with a woman, or vice versa, which is due to mixing and prolonged interaction.

    5 – That may lead to the break-up of families. How many men have neglected their wives and lost their families, because they were infatuated with a female classmate or colleague? How many women have lost their husbands and neglected their homes for the same reason. Indeed, how many cases of divorce have been caused by haraam relationships formed by the husband or wife, and mixing at work was the thing that lead to that.

    https://islamqa.info/en/103044
    Last edited by Abu Humza; 31-10-17 at 03:15 PM.

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    Re: Dawah to a neighbor

    Update;

    I briefly spoke to my neighbor and she has started making dua to Allah swt,alhamdulillah snd has started reading the Quran. She is having some difficulty in reading the Quran as she finds it"random", the non linear,non-chronological nature of the Quran is something that I found difficult in the beginning as well.

    When she came by she was mostly covered,longish skirt and over sized sweater,as she wanted to respect the religion which i found very impressive, I had explained to her the purpose of hijab previously and it seems like she has understood.

    I'm still not comfortable being alone with her and I'm thinking that meeting at a busy coffee shop once a week would be better than being alone with her,not ideal in any way but better than the current situation.

    I'm thinking that if she believes in the basics of Islam and takes shahada then marrying her will solve the problem of not being alone with a non-mahram but there's quit a bit of info and practice she needs to get down first.

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    Re: Dawah to a neighbor

    The deceptions of the devil...
    You think you know more than my scholar's qiyās? He was more learned than you and all other scholars combined. Yeah, the devil was the greatest scholar too and look where his qiyās of fire being better than tīn got him. Sorry.

    You follow your scholar's qiyās, and I will follow the Qur'ān and Sunnah.

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    Re: Dawah to a neighbor

    Quote Originally Posted by Samsandman View Post
    Update;

    I briefly spoke to my neighbor and she has started making dua to Allah swt,alhamdulillah snd has started reading the Quran. She is having some difficulty in reading the Quran as she finds it"random", the non linear,non-chronological nature of the Quran is something that I found difficult in the beginning as well.

    When she came by she was mostly covered,longish skirt and over sized sweater,as she wanted to respect the religion which i found very impressive, I had explained to her the purpose of hijab previously and it seems like she has understood.

    I'm still not comfortable being alone with her and I'm thinking that meeting at a busy coffee shop once a week would be better than being alone with her,not ideal in any way but better than the current situation.

    I'm thinking that if she believes in the basics of Islam and takes shahada then marrying her will solve the problem of not being alone with a non-mahram but there's quit a bit of info and practice she needs to get down first.
    SubhanAllah, has she converted or reading the English translation of the Quraan only?

    Ideally, as the other posters have mentioned, the Da'wah work should be given by a female to her, so that attraction/feelings are not intertwined with bringing her to Islam. If not, then you at least need some family of yours present (and perhaps the Da'wah work can extend to them too).

    Concerning your last point, it seems like maybe feelings have already developed for her. This is precisely the type of issue you should try to avoid.

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    Re: Dawah to a neighbor

    Quote Originally Posted by horizon View Post
    SubhanAllah, has she converted or reading the English translation of the Quraan only?

    Ideally, as the other posters have mentioned, the Da'wah work should be given by a female to her, so that attraction/feelings are not intertwined with bringing her to Islam. If not, then you at least need some family of yours present (and perhaps the Da'wah work can extend to them too).

    Concerning your last point, it seems like maybe feelings have already developed for her. This is precisely the type of issue you should try to avoid.
    she is still reading the Quran and has not taken shahada yet

    If I knew of any muslimah from ahl us sunnah was jama'ah who would give dawah would I extricate myself from this situation without hesitation as I see the obvious danger to it.

    I'm the only muslim in my family so none of female relatives are able to step in. I have cousins who are religious but they are hardcore,brainwashed Jehovah's witnesses so i don't speak with them myself.

    She has tried hard to get me to like her by bring me food, gifts etc. and it's difficult to not see the good in her.
    I spend an inordinate amount of time and effort avoiding non-mahrams already and dawah is an obligation on all muslims so this is a balancing act for me.

    I've so far not taken advantage of my unique position of being able to bridge the gap between western culture which I was born and raised into and Al Islam that I have accepted for dawah and this could be a learning opportunity in that.

    But I must be mindful of the dangers at all times,like this guy

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_daN71LSDEM
    Last edited by Samsandman; 03-11-17 at 12:47 PM.

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    Re: Dawah to a neighbor

    Quote Originally Posted by Samsandman View Post
    she is still reading the Quran and has not taken shahada yet

    If I knew of any muslimah from ahl us sunnah was jama'ah who would give dawah would I extricate myself from this situation without hesitation as I see the obvious danger to it.

    I'm the only muslim in my family so none of female relatives are able to step in. I have cousins who are religious but they are hardcore,brainwashed Jehovah's witnesses so i don't speak with them myself.

    She has tried hard to get me to like her by bring me food, gifts etc. and it's difficult to not see the good in her.
    I spend an inordinate amount of time and effort avoiding non-mahrams already and dawah is an obligation on all muslims so this is a balancing act for me.

    I've so far not taken advantage of my unique position of being able to bridge the gap between western culture which I was born and raised into and Al Islam that I have accepted for dawah and this could be a learning opportunity in that.

    But I must be mindful of the dangers at all times,like this guy

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_daN71LSDEM
    Brother, we always refer to situations where the attraction in the man is present. It must also be kept in mind that (inshaAllah) her interest in Islam is stemming from her own beliefs and is not driven by her (assumed or likely) attraction towards you.

    I strongly urge you to perhaps consult with user: Abu Mus'ab

    He will, inshaAllah, be able to guide you about the best course of action to take in this scenario.

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    Kintsukuroi RaNdOm's Avatar
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    Re: Dawah to a neighbor

    Quote Originally Posted by Samsandman View Post
    she is still reading the Quran and has not taken shahada yet

    If I knew of any muslimah from ahl us sunnah was jama'ah who would give dawah would I extricate myself from this situation without hesitation as I see the obvious danger to it.

    I'm the only muslim in my family so none of female relatives are able to step in. I have cousins who are religious but they are hardcore,brainwashed Jehovah's witnesses so i don't speak with them myself.

    She has tried hard to get me to like her by bring me food, gifts etc. and it's difficult to not see the good in her.
    I spend an inordinate amount of time and effort avoiding non-mahrams already and dawah is an obligation on all muslims so this is a balancing act for me.

    I've so far not taken advantage of my unique position of being able to bridge the gap between western culture which I was born and raised into and Al Islam that I have accepted for dawah and this could be a learning opportunity in that.

    But I must be mindful of the dangers at all times,like this guy

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_daN71LSDEM
    what happened with this

    also why don't you marry her?
    ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
    "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
    [Al-Imran 3:159]

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    Victory is promised... Deeni Akh's Avatar
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    Re: Dawah to a neighbor



    Do you have female members in your family who can befriend her and give her da'wah?

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    Re: Dawah to a neighbor

    Quote Originally Posted by RaNdOm View Post
    what happened with this

    also why don't you marry her?
    I totally fixed her sink like I said I would, she is really happy about that.
    she tried to pay cash me but I refused as I know she doesn't have a high paying job but I left her feed me,she is excellent cook.

    Marry her,
    That's a good idea! lol

    If she takes shahada sincerely then it becomes a possibility but I won't rush here as dawah is a delicate matter.
    The Nabi sallahu alyahi wasalam spents 10 years teaching the sahaba JUST tawheed and that is the correct method of dawah
    Keep in mind she knows very,very little about Islam right now and most people don't immediately accept Islam and say shahada upon being explained the basics tawheed.

    I look at it this way correct dawah is like planting a seed,if the conditions are right and the soil is fertile(by the Grace and permission of Allah swt) then the seed sprouts.
    When seedings are very young they are tender and delicate so you don't hasten to put them into harsh or difficult conditions or dump gallons of water on them, They need careful nurturing until the have some firm roots and develop some good leaves.

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    Re: Dawah to a neighbor

    Quote Originally Posted by Deeni Akh View Post


    Do you have female members in your family who can befriend her and give her da'wah?
    No I covered that above,I'm a revert and only muslim in my family. I don't know of any female reverts who are firmly ahl us Sunnah and can give dawah.
    There is a dawah group at the Univiversity but they mostly have messed up Sufi/murjiah aqeedah and the group is full of shady marriage bandits looking to preying upon new converts.

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    Re: Dawah to a neighbor

    Quote Originally Posted by Samsandman View Post
    I totally fixed her sink like I said I would, she is really happy about that.
    she tried to pay cash me but I refused as I know she doesn't have a high paying job but I left her feed me,she is excellent cook.

    Marry her,
    That's a good idea! lol

    If she takes shahada sincerely then it becomes a possibility but I won't rush here as dawah is a delicate matter.
    The Nabi sallahu alyahi wasalam spents 10 years teaching the sahaba JUST tawheed and that is the correct method of dawah
    Keep in mind she knows very,very little about Islam right now and most people don't immediately accept Islam and say shahada upon being explained the basics tawheed.

    I look at it this way correct dawah is like planting a seed,if the conditions are right and the soil is fertile(by the Grace and permission of Allah swt) then the seed sprouts.
    When seedings are very young they are tender and delicate so you don't hasten to put them into harsh or difficult conditions or dump gallons of water on them, They need careful nurturing until the have some firm roots and develop some good leaves.
    That's very nice and kind allahumma baarik

    tbh I think I am too harsh sometimes cos if I care about someone and they don't meet the conditions Islam has laid for us, I take it too personally instead of being nurturing so for the tip

    well I thought maybe u could mention that u are pleased with some of her characteristics and u would hope that she would become Muslim so that u could marry her.... but then I guess maybe this will create more fitna and then maybe she will learn of Islam more with the intent to marry u rather than something she wants to look more into. Ok well inshaAllah she will become Muslim soon and if she is good for u, then maybe also ur wife.

    I just said that cos tbh I never used to reply to ur posts cos I said already I used to find u quite scary cos of all those posts in the jinn section but then since u started spreading ur wings a bit I forgot the fear. But anyway point being from the posts I have read it seems that ur emaan is quite strong allahumma baarik and so shaitaan has the perfect way to weaken it. By using the biggest fitna to man.... so like where some people's faith would waiver with the unseen in terms of the spooky sense, I hope urs will not waiver with the unseen in terms of the silent words of the heart sense
    ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
    "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
    [Al-Imran 3:159]

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    "رَوْحٌ وَ رَيْحَان" Tayoofa's Avatar
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    Re: Dawah to a neighbor

    Quote Originally Posted by Samsandman View Post
    No I covered that above,I'm a revert and only muslim in my family. I don't know of any female reverts who are firmly ahl us Sunnah and can give dawah.
    There is a dawah group at the Univiversity but they mostly have messed up Sufi/murjiah aqeedah and the group is full of shady marriage bandits looking to preying upon new converts.
    و عليكم السلام و رحمة الله و بركاته

    I have same issue with a brother who wants to know about Islam but we communicate through internet ....

    Anyways you can give her this website

    www.Islamreligion.com
    Ibn Al Qayyim may Allah have mercy on him said: ("
    The heart on its journey towards Allah the Exalted is like that of a bird. Love is its head, and fear and hope are its two wings. When the head is healthy, then the two wings will fly well. When the head is cut off, the bird will die. When either of two wings is damaged, the bird becomes vulnerable to every hunter and predator..”
    )

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    Re: Dawah to a neighbor

    Quote Originally Posted by RaNdOm View Post
    That's very nice and kind allahumma baarik

    tbh I think I am too harsh sometimes cos if I care about someone and they don't meet the conditions Islam has laid for us, I take it too personally instead of being nurturing so for the tip

    well I thought maybe u could mention that u are pleased with some of her characteristics and u would hope that she would become Muslim so that u could marry her.... but then I guess maybe this will create more fitna and then maybe she will learn of Islam more with the intent to marry u rather than something she wants to look more into. Ok well inshaAllah she will become Muslim soon and if she is good for u, then maybe also ur wife.

    I just said that cos tbh I never used to reply to ur posts cos I said already I used to find u quite scary cos of all those posts in the jinn section but then since u started spreading ur wings a bit I forgot the fear. But anyway point being from the posts I have read it seems that ur emaan is quite strong allahumma baarik and so shaitaan has the perfect way to weaken it. By using the biggest fitna to man.... so like where some people's faith would waiver with the unseen in terms of the spooky sense, I hope urs will not waiver with the unseen in terms of the silent words of the heart sense
    I was pretty harsh when I first became muslim as I had rough time from many muslims I met. They had totally unrealstic expectations of me in the beginngs and were pretty openly racist. Yes I understand that many muslims from over seas have a chip on their shoulder towards white men due to colonization etc but I personally had nothing to do with any of that.

    Hopefully ,if I do go down that path, I can be supportive and understanding of the difficulties of being a new muslim as I got a baptsim by fire(pardon the expression) and it was sink or swim on my own in Islam which is very taxing on ones Iman. I like to think it made me take the deen more seriously as no one was going to coddle me.

    Am I being tested with this woman?without a doubt. at times I could hear the was was of shaytan as he tried to mess with my intention and feel his greasy tentacle as tehy tried to wrap themselves around my heart, It's a battle for sure but overcoming those whisperings is a victory and every victory over shaytan is a great victory.

    I have complimented her on her character and surprisinglt sound fitrah but that is a tricky business as innocent and sincere compliments can quickly lead to outright flirting.

    I thank Allah swt that He has put this test before when I am more able to see and understand the dangers and also the possible benefits. I also thank Allah awj that he choose ME for this test and not one of my brothers who might have weaker Iman and would have certainly fallen into Zina. I'm not as ypung and dumb as I used to be and have learn a lot about how women operate in my years so I have been on guard as I know how women can weaken a man with their charms and many women have perfected this art. It's not easy to resist a good looking woman especially for a lonely brother but Those Whom Allah swt loves the most he tests the most.

    People fear what the don't know and learning the deen and aquiring knowledge helps to kill that fear. There are some brothers who see me come into the masjid and get the deer in headlights look as they have never seen a white male revert and I can have a rather intimidating look to me. Viking-like beard and camoflauge clothing kinda makes me look like a hillbilly off Duck dynasty,LOL

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    Re: Dawah to a neighbor

    Quote Originally Posted by Tayoofa View Post
    و عليكم السلام و رحمة الله و بركاته

    I have same issue with a brother who wants to know about Islam but we communicate through internet ....

    Anyways you can give her this website

    www.Islamreligion.com
    If the brother wants to know about Islam just get a muslim male relative of yours to give him dawah or get a trusted male member of uf to give him dawah

    U talking to him too much is dangerous even if u intend not to shaytaan is the 3rd person there

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    Re: Dawah to a neighbor

    Quote Originally Posted by Tayoofa View Post
    و عليكم السلام و رحمة الله و بركاته

    I have same issue with a brother who wants to know about Islam but we communicate through internet ....

    Anyways you can give her this website

    www.Islamreligion.com
    There are lots of knowledgeable brothers and male shayook you can refer him to.

    knowledgeable sisters and female shayook are much,much harder to find.

    not to sound misogynistic but Men are out there on a daily basis interacting with Non-muslims and are the public face of Islam so it's men who should be doing the majority of dawah work not women,Female muslimahs should be protected from unscroupulus kuffar men which far outnumber unscroupulus kuffar women.

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    Re: Dawah to a neighbor

    Also to op you really have to be careful where you are with her and how you are with her
    And u dnt want her converting for u but for Allah
    There must be ahlus sunna sisters in ur city check facebook
    I know its long finding someone but its better than having a nail go through your head and thats just for touching a girl (shaytaan will work to make u go astray eliminate the paths asap)

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    Re: Dawah to a neighbor

    Quote Originally Posted by Samsandman View Post
    There are lots of knowledgeable brothers and male shayook you can refer him to.

    knowledgeable sisters and female shayook are much,much harder to find.

    not to sound misogynistic but Men are out there on a daily basis interacting with Non-muslims and are the public face of Islam so it's men who should be doing the majority of dawah work not women,Female muslimahs should be protected from unscroupulus kuffar men which far outnumber unscroupulus kuffar women.
    Quote Originally Posted by Abu julaybeeb

    If the brother wants to know about Islam just get a muslim male relative of yours to give him dawah or get a trusted male member of uf to give him dawah

    U talking to him too much is dangerous even if u intend not to shaytaan is the 3rd person there

    Shukran and jazakum allahu khayran for the advice ..

    No I don't talk to him too much he just ask and I answer according to his question only ...

    He is interested in Islam and asked very difficult questions but didn't show any intention to convert maybe because he is Jehovah's witness and I heard they are difficult and it's not easy to convince them !

    Anyways I will refer him to shaykh soon inshallah
    Ibn Al Qayyim may Allah have mercy on him said: ("
    The heart on its journey towards Allah the Exalted is like that of a bird. Love is its head, and fear and hope are its two wings. When the head is healthy, then the two wings will fly well. When the head is cut off, the bird will die. When either of two wings is damaged, the bird becomes vulnerable to every hunter and predator..”
    )

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    Re: Dawah to a neighbor

    Quote Originally Posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post
    Also to op you really have to be careful where you are with her and how you are with her
    And u dnt want her converting for u but for Allah
    There must be ahlus sunna sisters in ur city check facebook
    I know its long finding someone but its better than having a nail go through your head and thats just for touching a girl (shaytaan will work to make u go astray eliminate the paths asap)
    Yes I am aware of the dangers as I have mentioned and your reminder is beneficial as I need to constantly keep in mind the dangerous and delicate nature of the situation.

    I'm hoping to speak with the sheikh about this tomorrow or tuesday inshaAllah to see what he can advise me on.

    finding a sister who is on the sunnah and willing to engage in Dawah has not been successful so far. It would take me no effort at all to find a sister who has messed up aqeedah or a misinformed cultural view of Islam,there really no point in sending her to speak with a sister who believes in making dua to saints or thinks Allah awt is everywhere,etc.
    There is also the aspect of understanding the background and culture of this lady as well and if I could find a sister that had the prerequisites for the job I wouldn't hesitate to pass her along.

    There is no doubt in my mind at all I;m being tested by Allah awj and that shaytan is aware of this test and will try to exploit the situation against me if possible.

    This is Islam in action in the real world and not textbook theoretical situations and in real life there are test,some small and some great.

    Greater the risks the greater the rewards

    This is how Allah awj sorts his sincere slaves from the ones who are insincere.

    I am making frequent dua and putting my trust in my Rabb.

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    Re: Dawah to a neighbor

    Quote Originally Posted by Tayoofa View Post
    Shukran and jazakum allahu khayran for the advice ..

    No I don't talk to him too much he just ask and I answer according to his question only ...

    He is interested in Islam and asked very difficult questions but didn't show any intention to convert maybe because he is Jehovah's witness and I heard they are difficult and it's not easy to convince them !

    Anyways I will refer him to shaykh soon inshallah
    I've had a bit of contact with JW's and there are extremely stubborn and well brainwashed. Their primary focus is purely missionary which they are very well know for,some of them eat sleep and breath it so be careful.

    May Allah protect you and keep you on the straightpath ameen.

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    Re: Dawah to a neighbor

    Quote Originally Posted by Samsandman View Post
    Yes I am aware of the dangers as I have mentioned and your reminder is beneficial as I need to constantly keep in mind the dangerous and delicate nature of the situation.

    I'm hoping to speak with the sheikh about this tomorrow or tuesday inshaAllah to see what he can advise me on.

    finding a sister who is on the sunnah and willing to engage in Dawah has not been successful so far. It would take me no effort at all to find a sister who has messed up aqeedah or a misinformed cultural view of Islam,there really no point in sending her to speak with a sister who believes in making dua to saints or thinks Allah awt is everywhere,etc.
    There is also the aspect of understanding the background and culture of this lady as well and if I could find a sister that had the prerequisites for the job I wouldn't hesitate to pass her along.

    There is no doubt in my mind at all I;m being tested by Allah awj and that shaytan is aware of this test and will try to exploit the situation against me if possible.

    This is Islam in action in the real world and not textbook theoretical situations and in real life there are test,some small and some great.

    Greater the risks the greater the rewards

    This is how Allah awj sorts his sincere slaves from the ones who are insincere.

    I am making frequent dua and putting my trust in my Rabb.
    It cant be the case that everyone near u is a sufi or berelvi
    There must be some salafis near u
    Even if they have some irja its better to let them give basic dawah to assist her becoming muslim

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    What do you hope to accomplish? You already have your green card and brought out all your family by lying that the Khawarij want to murder them lol

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    Re: Dawah to a neighbor

    Quote Originally Posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post
    It cant be the case that everyone near u is a sufi or berelvi
    There must be some salafis near u
    Even if they have some irja its better to let them give basic dawah to assist her becoming muslim
    salafiyyah is a pretty rare where I live. I'm not in th UK where there is a salafi community.

    Most of the "muslim" where I live are muslim in name only,they don't pray,fast,eat halal,stay away from riba etc.
    The ones that do attend salah don't engage in Dawah in any way because of number of young men leaving and joining ISIS,some of who were reverts,dawah is pretty much dead.
    The local ummah came under intense scrutiny and many people sold out publicaly or just disappeared from the masajid.

    furthermore masajid here are not inviting to white people,massively and seriously racist.
    Most of the "muslims" came to my area simply for dunya,Lots of high paying jobs so the munafiq to mumin ratio is crazy high.

    I'm the ONLY revert of any race in my masjid and can only think of one other(male) that is upon sunnah. The majority of female reverts I know of shia,as they got married to
    whoever,found that divorcing their abusive husband was difficult and switched to rafida due to mu'tah.

    In an ideal world, Yes I could just hop down to the nearest masjid,find a good knowledgeable sister and entrust the sitaution to her and be on my merry way.
    IN THE REAL WORLD,that's not proven to be possible.

    real world problems need real world solutions,keep that in mind,

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    Re: Dawah to a neighbor

    Quote Originally Posted by Samsandman View Post
    I was pretty harsh when I first became muslim as I had rough time from many muslims I met. They had totally unrealstic expectations of me in the beginngs and were pretty openly racist. Yes I understand that many muslims from over seas have a chip on their shoulder towards white men due to colonization etc but I personally had nothing to do with any of that.

    Hopefully ,if I do go down that path, I can be supportive and understanding of the difficulties of being a new muslim as I got a baptsim by fire(pardon the expression) and it was sink or swim on my own in Islam which is very taxing on ones Iman. I like to think it made me take the deen more seriously as no one was going to coddle me.

    Am I being tested with this woman?without a doubt. at times I could hear the was was of shaytan as he tried to mess with my intention and feel his greasy tentacle as tehy tried to wrap themselves around my heart, It's a battle for sure but overcoming those whisperings is a victory and every victory over shaytan is a great victory.

    I have complimented her on her character and surprisinglt sound fitrah but that is a tricky business as innocent and sincere compliments can quickly lead to outright flirting.

    I thank Allah swt that He has put this test before when I am more able to see and understand the dangers and also the possible benefits. I also thank Allah awj that he choose ME for this test and not one of my brothers who might have weaker Iman and would have certainly fallen into Zina. I'm not as ypung and dumb as I used to be and have learn a lot about how women operate in my years so I have been on guard as I know how women can weaken a man with their charms and many women have perfected this art. It's not easy to resist a good looking woman especially for a lonely brother but Those Whom Allah swt loves the most he tests the most.

    People fear what the don't know and learning the deen and aquiring knowledge helps to kill that fear. There are some brothers who see me come into the masjid and get the deer in headlights look as they have never seen a white male revert and I can have a rather intimidating look to me. Viking-like beard and camoflauge clothing kinda makes me look like a hillbilly off Duck dynasty,LOL
    Nothing wrong with a viking like beard bro, though I'm still trying to get a definitive fatwah whether braiding of the beard allowed but if it is it's definitely a look I am going to go for next eid for shock value.

    Back to the topic, here is my advise at this stage... be honest and tell her how this has to go. Either it's Islam and marriage or there is nothing. Reason I say this is that women these days will still expect some sort of relationship before marriage, and yes there are exceptions but generally that is the case.

    So be honest, tell her it's A or B, it's a binary choice, there is no option C and no wait and see middle ground between A and B. Make it clear what the options are and what the boundaries are until that then.
    FOLLOW THE NEW BLOG - GINGERBEARDMAN - Muslim, father, husband, writer, defender of ginger rights!

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