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  1. #1
    Keeping Islam Alive ! Believer1984's Avatar
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    Girl I loved is getting married

    I rarely post in marriage section but here it goes ...

    Salaam other than talking to Allah swt sharing my secrets , I am now sharing it with you too incase you can tell me what to do because I am facing problem upon problem and this one has hit me too.

    I just have to let this out I can not keep it in no longer !

    There is this girl I met once upon a time, ( You could say I fell in love ) I really wished to marry her but because of my status as you all know I do not have any money and I have mental anxiety I never did want to say anything because I am not worthy so I decided to remain silent.

    Even when we met sometime as she is a distant relative member I could sense she liked me too when she approached me etc a few times but I did not react even when I wish I could because of my extreme shyness and not having any financial backing.

    I have liked her for over 10 years and have made many duas regarding this and I just found out her marriage has been fixed and she is due to marry soon.

    Upon hearing this I cried silently and my head hurt and I made the same prayer like I mostly did '' May I marry her or give me the strength to forget her ''

    I am lost for words and each day will kill me untill she gets married ... how can i cope ? Everything has gone quiet around me and I need support.

    Jazak Allah Ul Khair
    Last edited by Believer1984; 30-10-17 at 01:14 AM.
    Believer1984.com Life is about believing. A website on Islam and everything else.

  2. #41
    A word to the wise Jade Vine's Avatar
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    Re: Girl I loved is getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by Believer1984 View Post
    I rarely post in marriage section but here it goes ...

    Salaam other than talking to Allah swt sharing my secrets , I am now sharing it with you too incase you can tell me what to do because I am facing problem upon problem and this one has hit me too.

    I just have to let this out I can not keep it in no longer !

    There is this girl I met once upon a time, ( You could say I fell in love ) I really wished to marry her but because of my status as you all know I do not have any money and I have mental anxiety I never did want to say anything because I am not worthy so I decided to remain silent.

    Even when we met sometime as she is a distant relative member I could sense she liked me too when she approached me etc a few times but I did not react even when I wish I could because of my extreme shyness and not having any financial backing.

    I have liked her for over 10 years and have made many duas regarding this and I just found out her marriage has been fixed and she is due to marry soon.

    Upon hearing this I cried silently and my head hurt and I made the same prayer like I mostly did '' May I marry her or give me the strength to forget her ''

    I am lost for words and each day will kill me untill she gets married ... how can i cope ? Everything has gone quiet around me and I need support.

    Jazak Allah Ul Khair
    It will be better. You know why? Because it can't get any worse. It can't hurt worse, so from there, it gets only better. Believe me

  3. #42
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    Re: Girl I loved is getting married

    You r 32, you couldnt address ur financial situation, you've known the girl for 10yrs and you couldnt prepare yourself.

    I dont know where to start from so i'll end it with prayers that she finds the man she deserves.
    *
    *
    * typing from my phone, excuse the mess

  4. #43
    I wonder Ya'sin's Avatar
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    Re: Girl I loved is getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by Believer1984 View Post
    Ameen.

    I fell in love and I did not take advantage of her and kept my distance.

    Khair like you said whatevers written for us.

    Peace.
    Don't worry brother it will get better

    We're all going to make dua for you and may Allah accept it. Ameen
    'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

    So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

  5. #44
    Abu-Tawheed Saif-Uddin's Avatar
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    Re: Girl I loved is getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by Believer1984 View Post
    Ameen.

    I fell in love and I did not take advantage of her and kept my distance.

    Khair like you said whatevers written for us.

    Peace.
    You didn't lower your gaze either, had you done so your heart would not have been attached to her for years.

    This is why many Brothers and Sisters tell stories about "falling in love" with the opposite gender, and then whine when the sister or brother marries someone else.

    The gaze is from the arrows of Shaytan.

    The sooner we realize this the better.

    http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

    "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

    – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

  6. #45
    Keeping Islam Alive ! Believer1984's Avatar
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    Re: Girl I loved is getting married

    Jazak Allah everyone, I have read your replies.

    I rather stay quiet now because I cant think or feel properly now.

    When you get a moment in life remember me in your dua's and I am forever greatful.
    Believer1984.com Life is about believing. A website on Islam and everything else.

  7. #46
    Odan Abu julaybeeb's Avatar
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    Re: Girl I loved is getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by halfmydeen89 View Post
    hadeeth of Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) which states that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No man should offer a proposal of marriage over the proposal of his brother until the first one gives up or gives him permission.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4746).
    I did mention theres a a hadtmith in regards to this
    JazaAllah khair

  8. #47
    Odan shezad's Avatar
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    Re: Girl I loved is getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by Believer1984 View Post
    Jazak Allah everyone, I have read your replies.

    I rather stay quiet now because I cant think or feel properly now.

    When you get a moment in life remember me in your dua's and I am forever greatful.
    Bro, Insh'Allah you'll be ok, Allah SWT has ways of easing everybody's pain. I've been in your position. It's difficult but slowly the pain will ease, you learn to live with it. If it gets you closer to Allah SWT then it's worth it. Who knows what he has planned for us. There could be somebody better out there for you.
    He who loses money, loses much.

    He who loses a friend, loses more.

    He who loses faith, loses ALL.

  9. #48
    Keeping Islam Alive ! Believer1984's Avatar
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    Re: Girl I loved is getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by shezad View Post
    Bro, Insh'Allah you'll be ok, Allah SWT has ways of easing everybody's pain. I've been in your position. It's difficult but slowly the pain will ease, you learn to live with it. If it gets you closer to Allah SWT then it's worth it. Who knows what he has planned for us. There could be somebody better out there for you.
    Jazak Allah akhi.
    Believer1984.com Life is about believing. A website on Islam and everything else.

  10. #49
    Please do not 'Rep'. Jzk. Fakhri's Avatar
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    Re: Girl I loved is getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by malleat1 View Post
    You r 32, you couldnt address ur financial situation, you've known the girl for 10yrs and you couldnt prepare yourself.

    I dont know where to start from so i'll end it with prayers that she finds the man she deserves.
    139211210934181532092504.jpg

    IMG_0752~01.png

    0056d9e556a98a019bbc2e0637a89db5.jpg

    1-REGE46t5GeiTupIAWmFQvQ.jpeg

    (!)

    LAA ILAAHA ILLALLAH
    -------------------------------
    "And if you would count the graces of God, never could you be able to count them. Truly, God is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." (Qur'aan 16:18)
    NOTE: Please kindly do NOT rep my posts. (Jazaa'akumullah).

  11. #50
    Victory is promised... Deeni Akh's Avatar
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    Re: Girl I loved is getting married

    السلام عليكم و رحمة الله و بركاته

    قال النبي صلى الله عليه و سلم: إنك لن تدع شيئاً لله عز وجل إلا بدلك الله به ما هو خير لك منه

    The prophet (saw) said: "Indeed you will not leave anything for the sake of Allah (swt) except that Allah (swt) will replace it for you with something better"

    [Ahmad, classed as saheeh by Al bani on the conditions of Muslim]

  12. #51
    Keeping Islam Alive ! Believer1984's Avatar
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    Re: Girl I loved is getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by Deeni Akh View Post
    السلام عليكم و رحمة الله و بركاته

    قال النبي صلى الله عليه و سلم: إنك لن تدع شيئاً لله عز وجل إلا بدلك الله به ما هو خير لك منه

    The prophet (saw) said: "Indeed you will not leave anything for the sake of Allah (swt) except that Allah (swt) will replace it for you with something better"

    [Ahmad, classed as saheeh by Al bani on the conditions of Muslim]
    Jazak Allah akhis.
    Believer1984.com Life is about believing. A website on Islam and everything else.

  13. #52
    Abu-Tawheed Saif-Uddin's Avatar
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    Re: Girl I loved is getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by halfmydeen89 View Post
    hadeeth of Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) which states that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No man should offer a proposal of marriage over the proposal of his brother until the first one gives up or gives him permission.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4746).
    this is a important reminder for those who seek to get married. Especially for this who go "shopping" and leaving sisters or brothers dangling whilst they are looking at several other potentials. One potential at a time Brothers and Sisters, and don't play with people, and don't get involved until as above in the hadith.

    http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

    "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

    – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

  14. #53
    Odan
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    Re: Girl I loved is getting married



    Even, if she looks perfect wife material to you in every aspect, Alhamdulillah. You don't know, what Allah SWT knows, if that marriage would have being khair for you. Bring you closer to Him SWT or distance.

    Keep yourself busy with halal activities.
    Improve your relationship with Allah SWT as that, is most important relationship.
    When time is right you will get married with one, who Allah SWT has written for you.

  15. #54
    Keeping Islam Alive ! Believer1984's Avatar
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    Re: Girl I loved is getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by uccello verde View Post


    Even, if she looks perfect wife material to you in every aspect, Alhamdulillah. You don't know, what Allah SWT knows, if that marriage would have being khair for you. Bring you closer to Him SWT or distance.

    Keep yourself busy with halal activities.
    Improve your relationship with Allah SWT as that, is most important relationship.
    When time is right you will get married with one, who Allah SWT has written for you.
    Jazak Allah ukhti I agree the best relation is with Allah swt.

    I just pray I get better and have money so I can be more occupied because the memories hurt me when I do nothing and think about it.

    Peace,
    Believer1984.com Life is about believing. A website on Islam and everything else.

  16. #55
    Odan
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    Re: Girl I loved is getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by Believer1984 View Post
    Jazak Allah ukhti I agree the best relation is with Allah swt.

    I just pray I get better and have money so I can be more occupied because the memories hurt me when I do nothing and think about it.

    Peace,
    Wa iyyaka.
    Make yourself, timetable around your salat. Example, memorising Quran, listening lectures, going for walk/run/exercise, cooking etc housework. Sign for free online courses. Keep your mind busy. There are plenty of free activities you can do.
    What about your local Masjid?

    May Allah SWT make it easy for you, Ameen.

  17. #56
    --- Simply_Logical's Avatar
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    Re: Girl I loved is getting married

    @Believer1984 i know its cliche but theres plenty of fish in the sea, you miss one you catch the next one, honestly dont worry about it because later on in life youll look back and think nothing of it
    Surah Taha, Verse 69:

    وَأَلْقِ مَا فِي يَمِينِكَ تَلْقَفْ مَا صَنَعُوا إِنَّمَا صَنَعُوا كَيْدُ سَاحِرٍ وَلَا يُفْلِحُ السَّاحِرُ حَيْثُ أَتَىٰ

    "And throw that which is in your right hand! It will swallow up that which they have made. That which they have made is only a magician's trick,
    and the magician will never be successful, no matter whatever amount (of skill) he may attain."

    Self Help Ruqya Shari'ah Guide
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    Practical Self Ruqya
    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...=1#post7492713

    Is there such a thing as good magic? by Abu Ibraheem
    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...y-Abu-Ibraheem

    Don't fear the Jinn - Muhammad Tim Humble
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    Exposing Black Magic
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    The History of Black Magic
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    Real Magicians And Sorcerers
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    How to destroy a taweez ? Ruqya related questions answered
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    Sorcerer's Plot | Arabic | English Subtitles | Every Muslim must watch this video
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  18. #57
    I wonder Ya'sin's Avatar
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    Re: Girl I loved is getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by uccello verde View Post


    Even, if she looks perfect wife material to you in every aspect, Alhamdulillah. You don't know, what Allah SWT knows, if that marriage would have being khair for you. Bring you closer to Him SWT or distance.

    Keep yourself busy with halal activities.
    Improve your relationship with Allah SWT as that, is most important relationship.
    When time is right you will get married with one, who Allah SWT has written for you.
    Yep

    The thing is that some people forget that you can only love someone when you have lived with them and been though the thick and thin with that person.

    When both of you face obstacles together and don't ditch the other just because calamity has fallen upon you. You make it through together because your love and loyalty is important, that can only be proved when you are in a halal relationship, otherwise it is hard to tell if they're worth your companionship.
    'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

    So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

  19. #58
    Keeping Islam Alive ! Believer1984's Avatar
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    Re: Girl I loved is getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by uccello verde View Post
    Wa iyyaka.
    Make yourself, timetable around your salat. Example, memorising Quran, listening lectures, going for walk/run/exercise, cooking etc housework. Sign for free online courses. Keep your mind busy. There are plenty of free activities you can do.
    What about your local Masjid?

    May Allah SWT make it easy for you, Ameen.
    Salaam Ukhti

    You are 100% right only that can help ease the pain and I try going masjid to pray zuhr in congregation.

    Keeping busy is the key so you can push it all away,

    Quote Originally Posted by Simply_Logical View Post
    @Believer1984 i know its cliche but theres plenty of fish in the sea, you miss one you catch the next one, honestly dont worry about it because later on in life youll look back and think nothing of it
    Salaam

    Ukhti there may be more but me as a person so weak and silly just couldn't help it thinking about her for 10 years and I made intention to marry her from right in the beginning but due to my situation never could make a move.

    Just dua for me regarding this matter.

    Jazak Allah.
    Believer1984.com Life is about believing. A website on Islam and everything else.

  20. #59
    --- Simply_Logical's Avatar
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    Re: Girl I loved is getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by Believer1984 View Post
    Salaam Ukhti

    You are 100% right only that can help ease the pain and I try going masjid to pray zuhr in congregation.

    Keeping busy is the key so you can push it all away,



    Salaam

    Ukhti there may be more but me as a person so weak and silly just couldn't help it thinking about her for 10 years and I made intention to marry her from right in the beginning but due to my situation never could make a move.

    Just dua for me regarding this matter.

    Jazak Allah.
    walaykum salaams its akhi no ukthi lol

    trust me youll soon get over it
    Surah Taha, Verse 69:

    وَأَلْقِ مَا فِي يَمِينِكَ تَلْقَفْ مَا صَنَعُوا إِنَّمَا صَنَعُوا كَيْدُ سَاحِرٍ وَلَا يُفْلِحُ السَّاحِرُ حَيْثُ أَتَىٰ

    "And throw that which is in your right hand! It will swallow up that which they have made. That which they have made is only a magician's trick,
    and the magician will never be successful, no matter whatever amount (of skill) he may attain."

    Self Help Ruqya Shari'ah Guide
    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...Shari-ah-Guide

    Practical Self Ruqya
    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...=1#post7492713

    Is there such a thing as good magic? by Abu Ibraheem
    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...y-Abu-Ibraheem

    Don't fear the Jinn - Muhammad Tim Humble
    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...mad-Tim-Humble

    Exposing Black Magic
    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...ing+black+mgic

    The History of Black Magic
    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...hlight=history

    Real Magicians And Sorcerers
    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...-And-Sorcerers

    How to destroy a taweez ? Ruqya related questions answered
    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...tions-answered

    Exposing Taweez...
    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...xposing-Taweez

    Ruqyah Audio
    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...4-Ruqyah-Audio

    Sorcerer's Plot | Arabic | English Subtitles | Every Muslim must watch this video
    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...ing+black+mgic

  21. #60
    Keeping Islam Alive ! Believer1984's Avatar
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    Re: Girl I loved is getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by Simply_Logical View Post
    walaykum salaams its akhi no ukthi lol

    trust me youll soon get over it
    Seek akhi I am half there half not there lol sorry and Jazak Allah.
    Believer1984.com Life is about believing. A website on Islam and everything else.

  22. #61
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    Re: Girl I loved is getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by Simply_Logical View Post
    @Believer1984 i know its cliche but theres plenty of fish in the sea, you miss one you catch the next one, honestly dont worry about it because later on in life youll look back and think nothing of it
    Don't anger the feminists if there are any

  23. #62
    -.-" Cptn._.Mario's Avatar
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    Re: Girl I loved is getting married

    @Believer1984 how are you doing brother? Any better?
    ┳┻|
    ┻┳|•.•) Hello, Assalamu Alaikum! Check out this topic! #makethechanges
    ┳┻|⊂ノ
    ┻┳|
    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...adan-Authentic

  24. #63
    Keeping Islam Alive ! Believer1984's Avatar
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    Re: Girl I loved is getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by Cptn._.Mario View Post
    @Believer1984 how are you doing brother? Any better?
    Salaam Akhi.

    I have no idea I spend most day being confuzed - c ry , I mean i pray alhumdulillah than i Just go for short wondering walks in my local area, Its h ard having no money , poor health, family who mock you and than on top this.

    I make dua everyday for a miracle.

    I mean everything is so h ard I request the ummah to make dua for me please.

    Jazak Allah Ul Khair.
    Last edited by Believer1984; 08-11-17 at 03:53 PM.
    Believer1984.com Life is about believing. A website on Islam and everything else.

  25. #64
    VERSION : Alpha 6.6 Aetos's Avatar
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    AW: Girl I loved is getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by Believer1984 View Post
    I rarely post in marriage section but here it goes ...

    Salaam other than talking to Allah swt sharing my secrets , I am now sharing it with you too incase you can tell me what to do because I am facing problem upon problem and this one has hit me too.

    I just have to let this out I can not keep it in no longer !

    There is this girl I met once upon a time, ( You could say I fell in love ) I really wished to marry her but because of my status as you all know I do not have any money and I have mental anxiety I never did want to say anything because I am not worthy so I decided to remain silent.

    Even when we met sometime as she is a distant relative member I could sense she liked me too when she approached me etc a few times but I did not react even when I wish I could because of my extreme shyness and not having any financial backing.

    I have liked her for over 10 years and have made many duas regarding this and I just found out her marriage has been fixed and she is due to marry soon.

    Upon hearing this I cried silently and my head hurt and I made the same prayer like I mostly did '' May I marry her or give me the strength to forget her ''

    I am lost for words and each day will kill me untill she gets married ... how can i cope ? Everything has gone quiet around me and I need support.

    Jazak Allah Ul Khair
    Bismillah

    Salam Alaikum wr wb

    I am sorry I didn’t see this post before brother.I wish I was there with you,sharing your pain.I don’t know you very much but I feel like you are one of the best akhis I have met.You tried to make me feel better when you were yourself in such a harsh situation

    Listen brother.Cry.Let it all out.Go in the bathroom and cry as much as you can,or go under the blankets and cry and make duaas until there is no tear left.Dont keep it inside.It wont make you less of a man if you cry.

    I am not going to lie,this will take a lot of time,maybe 1 year or a bit more,but with the help of Allah,you can do it.Try to offer the salah in the masjid as much as you can,and pray tahajjud too.Be with good muslims brother who will cheer you up.(you can also pm me at anytime)

    I completely understand you brother.I see potentials coming and going in front of me,and I cant even imagine of proposing because no matter my good qualities,there is always the financial and passport thing that prevents me.But remember what you told me,”your time will come soon with the mercy of Allah”,now its my time to say it to you.This is another shock for your heart,to make it harder before dunya.

    Don’t think you weren’t good for her.I am sure if you had a chance to talk to her,she could have fallen in love with you,you are an amazing akhi as I said.But if the door doesn’t open,it is not your door.This girl could have made your life miserable.You don’t know that,Allah knows that.He is keeping you for someone way more special,that will be coolness for your eyes

    I have only one thing to criticize about you.Try not to be shy.Women are like us,trust me,am a convert,I know how women are.They are full of insecurities,shyness,just like us.They are humans after all.Imagine like they are your old friend and just talk to them as you would talk to a friend,within Islamic boundaries of course

    "What is meant for you, will reach you even if it is beneath two mountains. What isn't meant for you,won't reach you even if it is between your two lips."

    Usaamah ibn Zayd reported that the Prophet , said, “I stood at the gate of Paradise and saw that the majority of the people who had entered it were poor people, while the rich were kept outside (waiting for their reckoning), but the people of Hellfire had been ordered to be driven to Hellfire. And I stood at the gate of Hellfire and found that the majority of those entering it were women.” [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]

    In shaa Allah very soon I will see a thread of yours saying you got married
    But whatever happens,may Allah make you one of the first to enter Jannah
    You will be in my duaa

    Salam Alaikum wr wb
    'A slave's life is all you understand, you know nothing of freedom. For if you did, you would have encouraged us to fight on, not only with our spears, but with everything we have'

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    Senior Member Red Apples's Avatar
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    Re: Girl I loved is getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by believer1984 View Post
    i rarely post in marriage section but here it goes ...

    Salaam other than talking to allah swt sharing my secrets , i am now sharing it with you too incase you can tell me what to do because i am facing problem upon problem and this one has hit me too.

    I just have to let this out i can not keep it in no longer !

    There is this girl i met once upon a time, ( you could say i fell in love ) i really wished to marry her but because of my status as you all know i do not have any money and i have mental anxiety i never did want to say anything because i am not worthy so i decided to remain silent.

    Even when we met sometime as she is a distant relative member i could sense she liked me too when she approached me etc a few times but i did not react even when i wish i could because of my extreme shyness and not having any financial backing.

    I have liked her for over 10 years and have made many duas regarding this and i just found out her marriage has been fixed and she is due to marry soon.

    Upon hearing this i cried silently and my head hurt and i made the same prayer like i mostly did '' may i marry her or give me the strength to forget her ''

    i am lost for words and each day will kill me untill she gets married ... How can i cope ? Everything has gone quiet around me and i need support.

    Jazak allah ul khair
    total bummer

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    Re: Girl I loved is getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by Aetos View Post
    Bismillah

    Salam Alaikum wr wb

    I am sorry I didn’t see this post before brother.I wish I was there with you,sharing your pain.I don’t know you very much but I feel like you are one of the best akhis I have met.You tried to make me feel better when you were yourself in such a harsh situation

    Listen brother.Cry.Let it all out.Go in the bathroom and cry as much as you can,or go under the blankets and cry and make duaas until there is no tear left.Dont keep it inside.It wont make you less of a man if you cry.

    I am not going to lie,this will take a lot of time,maybe 1 year or a bit more,but with the help of Allah,you can do it.Try to offer the salah in the masjid as much as you can,and pray tahajjud too.Be with good muslims brother who will cheer you up.(you can also pm me at anytime)

    I completely understand you brother.I see potentials coming and going in front of me,and I cant even imagine of proposing because no matter my good qualities,there is always the financial and passport thing that prevents me.But remember what you told me,”your time will come soon with the mercy of Allah”,now its my time to say it to you.This is another shock for your heart,to make it harder before dunya.

    Don’t think you weren’t good for her.I am sure if you had a chance to talk to her,she could have fallen in love with you,you are an amazing akhi as I said.But if the door doesn’t open,it is not your door.This girl could have made your life miserable.You don’t know that,Allah knows that.He is keeping you for someone way more special,that will be coolness for your eyes

    I have only one thing to criticize about you.Try not to be shy.Women are like us,trust me,am a convert,I know how women are.They are full of insecurities,shyness,just like us.They are humans after all.Imagine like they are your old friend and just talk to them as you would talk to a friend,within Islamic boundaries of course

    "What is meant for you, will reach you even if it is beneath two mountains. What isn't meant for you,won't reach you even if it is between your two lips."

    Usaamah ibn Zayd reported that the Prophet , said, “I stood at the gate of Paradise and saw that the majority of the people who had entered it were poor people, while the rich were kept outside (waiting for their reckoning), but the people of Hellfire had been ordered to be driven to Hellfire. And I stood at the gate of Hellfire and found that the majority of those entering it were women.” [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]

    In shaa Allah very soon I will see a thread of yours saying you got married
    But whatever happens,may Allah make you one of the first to enter Jannah
    You will be in my duaa

    Salam Alaikum wr wb
    Salaam

    Akhi I nod at you in silence in humbleness... understand I am greatful for your support.

    If brothers like you are by my side making dua ...

    Wallah there is always hope.

    Cry - Love - Empathy are our qualities - we are verily from the Ummah of Muhammad s.a.w.

    Peace and you are also in my duas Akhi.

    Quote Originally Posted by Red Apples View Post
    total bummer
    Jazak Allah.
    Believer1984.com Life is about believing. A website on Islam and everything else.

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    Senior Member Red Apples's Avatar
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    Re: Girl I loved is getting married

    You have to be strong dude - for your mental state

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    Re: Girl I loved is getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by Red Apples View Post
    You have to be strong dude - for your mental state
    Salaam

    Akhi i am trying.

    Jazak Allah.
    Believer1984.com Life is about believing. A website on Islam and everything else.

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    Re: Girl I loved is getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by Believer1984 View Post
    Salaam

    Akhi i am trying.

    Jazak Allah.
    If your trying, then you should forget that girl and ask Allah عز و جل to grant you a pious wife.
    http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

    "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

    – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

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    Re: Girl I loved is getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by Saif-Uddin View Post
    If your trying, then you should forget that girl and ask Allah عز و جل to grant you a pious wife.
    Salaam

    I saw my pious wife in her and I prayed for her and I believe in miracles.

    If i recover and my lord provides for me and gives me courage I will go get her while there is time and if she is destined to be mine.

    However if i remain the same and shes married I have no choice but to forget her and move on.

    All those years of dua for her, how can i let it go like that, this will take time.

    Peace.
    Believer1984.com Life is about believing. A website on Islam and everything else.

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    Re: Girl I loved is getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by Believer1984 View Post
    Salaam

    I saw my pious wife in her and I prayed for her and I believe in miracles.

    If i recover and my lord provides for me and gives me courage I will go get her while there is time and if she is destined to be mine.

    However if i remain the same and shes married I have no choice but to forget her and move on.

    All those years of dua for her, how can i let it go like that, this will take time.

    Peace.
    We alaikumsalaam warahmatullahi wa barakatu

    Your saw Wrong and you are well aware of it,

    The very fact that she is getting married to someone else proves you were infatuated.

    Time to move on, instead of thinking about another man's wife to be.

    Stop being a teenager and just grow up.

    http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

    "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

    – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

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    Re: Girl I loved is getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by Saif-Uddin View Post
    We alaikumsalaam warahmatullahi wa barakatu

    Your saw Wrong and you are well aware of it,

    The very fact that she is getting married to someone else proves you were infatuated.

    Time to move on, instead of thinking about another man's wife to be.

    Stop being a teenager and just grow up.

    Believer1984.com Life is about believing. A website on Islam and everything else.

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    Re: Girl I loved is getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by Believer1984 View Post
    Salaam

    I saw my pious wife in her and I prayed for her and I believe in miracles.

    If i recover and my lord provides for me and gives me courage I will go get her while there is time and if she is destined to be mine.

    However if i remain the same and shes married I have no choice but to forget her and move on.

    All those years of dua for her, how can i let it go like that, this will take time.

    Peace.
    You cant do that in islam... you cant propose to a lady who's already engaged... if you think doing something *haram* in islam will bless your marriage then seek knowledge and grow up
    *
    *
    * typing from my phone, excuse the mess

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    Re: Girl I loved is getting married

    Firstly brother stop telling yourself that you love her. You might love the idea of her, have feelings for her etc but if you don't know her well then you cannot love her. Secondly , (but most importantly!) Allah knows what is best for us, so do not feel grief over what was not written for you.

    Brother you say you have crippling mental anxiety, have you sought any help for this? I know a few people who after years of anxiety started CBT and it transformed their lives. Getting well enough to be able to work and support a family should be your priority brother. Also, in the nicest possible way, you owe this to your spouse, do not think that you will get married and she will make you feel better. That is putting the responsibility of your mental health onto her, which isn't fair.

    Have faith in Allah that He will give you the best at the right time.

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    Re: Girl I loved is getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by malleat1 View Post
    You cant do that in islam... you cant propose to a lady who's already engaged... if you think doing something *haram* in islam will bless your marriage then seek knowledge and grow up
    Salaam.

    She is not engaged and please re-read what I said, some of you jump conclusions.

    Jazak Allah.
    Quote Originally Posted by Umm Fatimah View Post
    Firstly brother stop telling yourself that you love her. You might love the idea of her, have feelings for her etc but if you don't know her well then you cannot love her. Secondly , (but most importantly!) Allah knows what is best for us, so do not feel grief over what was not written for you.

    Brother you say you have crippling mental anxiety, have you sought any help for this? I know a few people who after years of anxiety started CBT and it transformed their lives. Getting well enough to be able to work and support a family should be your priority brother. Also, in the nicest possible way, you owe this to your spouse, do not think that you will get married and she will make you feel better. That is putting the responsibility of your mental health onto her, which isn't fair.

    Have faith in Allah that He will give you the best at the right time.
    Firstly understand that i did love her and I did not fall for any idea and I knew her some.

    Secondly I clearly mentioned that due to my circumstances I kept my distance and prayed for her and only when i would have been better I would have approached her so you saying the opposite completely puts you in a informed position, so please re-read previous posts before commenting.

    Jazak Allah.

    * Jazak Allah Ul khair to those akhis and ukhtis who have understood me, I respect that and please do continue to remember me in your dua's that Allah swt makes this matter easy for me.

    Peace.
    Last edited by Believer1984; 11-11-17 at 03:58 PM.
    Believer1984.com Life is about believing. A website on Islam and everything else.

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    Re: Girl I loved is getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by Believer1984 View Post
    I rarely post in marriage section but here it goes ...

    Salaam other than talking to Allah swt sharing my secrets , I am now sharing it with you too incase you can tell me what to do because I am facing problem upon problem and this one has hit me too.

    I just have to let this out I can not keep it in no longer !

    There is this girl I met once upon a time, ( You could say I fell in love ) I really wished to marry her but because of my status as you all know I do not have any money and I have mental anxiety I never did want to say anything because I am not worthy so I decided to remain silent.

    Even when we met sometime as she is a distant relative member I could sense she liked me too when she approached me etc a few times but I did not react even when I wish I could because of my extreme shyness and not having any financial backing.

    I have liked her for over 10 years and have made many duas regarding this and I just found out her marriage has been fixed and she is due to marry soon.

    Upon hearing this I cried silently and my head hurt and I made the same prayer like I mostly did '' May I marry her or give me the strength to forget her ''

    I am lost for words and each day will kill me untill she gets married ... how can i cope ? Everything has gone quiet around me and I need support. Jazak Allah Ul Khair
    In one of your threads you mentioned it's difficult to keep a job because you have mental health issue. Have you talked to a doctor, or at least looked for information how to get better?
    If you leave it unattended too long, it will be harder to deal with.
    Marriage to her or to someone else will add more responsibility on your shoulder as you will be head of the family. Whatever your health issue now, you need to get better, before you even start a family.
    Make dua, and make the efforts to get better.
    InshaAllah your efforts will be blessed and you will get better. When you are ready to start a family, inshaAllah you will find a wife that is good for you and you good for her, in this dunya and the hereafter.
    It was narrated from Jabir bin 'Abdullah that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: "O people, fear Allah and be moderate in seeking a living, for no soul will die until it has received all its provision, even if it is slow in coming. So fear Allah and be moderate in seeking provision; take that which is permissible and leave that which is forbidden. " Sunan Ibn Majah

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    Re: Girl I loved is getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by islamlife00 View Post
    In one of your threads you mentioned it's difficult to keep a job because you have mental health issue. Have you talked to a doctor, or at least looked for information how to get better?
    If you leave it unattended too long, it will be harder to deal with.
    Marriage to her or to someone else will add more responsibility on your shoulder as you will be head of the family. Whatever your health issue now, you need to get better, before you even start a family.
    Make dua, and make the efforts to get better.
    InshaAllah your efforts will be blessed and you will get better. When you are ready to start a family, inshaAllah you will find a wife that is good for you and you good for her, in this dunya and the hereafter.
    Jazak Allah Ukhti.

    I agree with you.

    I am trying to push myself by going masjid to pray, giving sadqah with little money I have, reciting quran etc

    I cant deep down believe this has gone on far too long like Im trapped in it - i want to break free.

    Please make dua for me.

    Peace.
    Last edited by Believer1984; 14-11-17 at 12:24 PM.
    Believer1984.com Life is about believing. A website on Islam and everything else.

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    Re: Girl I loved is getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by Believer1984 View Post
    I have liked her for over 10 years and have made many duas regarding this and I just found out her marriage has been fixed and she is due to marry soon.

    Upon hearing this I cried silently and my head hurt and I made the same prayer like I mostly did '' May I marry her or give me the strength to forget her ''

    I am lost for words and each day will kill me untill she gets married ... how can i cope ? Everything has gone quiet around me and I need support.

    Jazak Allah Ul Khair

    You should work on this otherwise it could be a repeated scenario in your future.
    Take it as a push to change and improve yourself.
    I understand that lack of financial stability, especially for men, is cause of insecurity and can ruin your self-esteem. Is not in any way possible to find a job? It could be a good starting point to make yourself busy and improve your confidence while being maybe a therapy for your anxiety? Have you ever started a therapy?

    At the end, it's only about asking Allah's guidance and making efforts, real practical efforts, to live our life at the best of our possibilities, as it's a gift to be thankful for.

  40. #79
    Keeping Islam Alive ! Believer1984's Avatar
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    Re: Girl I loved is getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by *Anna* View Post
    You should work on this otherwise it could be a repeated scenario in your future.
    Take it as a push to change and improve yourself.
    I understand that lack of financial stability, especially for men, is cause of insecurity and can ruin your self-esteem. Is not in any way possible to find a job? It could be a good starting point to make yourself busy and improve your confidence while being maybe a therapy for your anxiety? Have you ever started a therapy?

    At the end, it's only about asking Allah's guidance and making efforts, real practical efforts, to live our life at the best of our possibilities, as it's a gift to be thankful for.
    Jazak Allah ukhti.

    Welcome to the Ummah forum.

    I just wanted to live a normal life but with hurt and regret some people are insecure and jealous.I was minding my own business moving around smiling but feels likes some don't like me for no reason.What hurts more is when your own do this.

    Caught up in their drama I got more lost.

    All I wanted to do was live a good happy simple life and now problem upon problem.

    What wrong did I do ?

    Liked someone kept my distance prayed for her ... What wrong did i do ?


    Peace.
    Last edited by Believer1984; 15-11-17 at 03:12 PM.
    Believer1984.com Life is about believing. A website on Islam and everything else.

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    Re: Girl I loved is getting married

    Quote Originally Posted by Believer1984 View Post
    Liked someone kept my distance prayed for her ... What wrong did i do ?
    You didn't propose because you didn't feel ready. You didn't work to be ready. And you didn't propose because still not ready.
    This causes pain and regret. But it also teaches to not make the same mistakes again and again.

    It's your chance to change this cycle... little by little.


    (Thanks for the welcome )

 

 

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