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  1. #1
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    Hating that which is haraam because you don't understand

    Asalaamu Alaikum brothers and sisters,
    Let me first clarify that I love God and understand that He is Perfect and we are not, so since we aren't perfect we don't understand everything, and even if we don't understand, I trust that God knows best.

    There are some things that are sinful or obligatory (such as a woman needing a mahram to approve her for work, the fact that sex outside of marriage is sinful, or that those who reject Islam after hearing it are doomed to hell forever.) These are some things that I don't understand why they are required or sinful and these are just a very few examples. Yet some things, like a woman needing a mahram to allow to work... I just don't like that. I don't think a woman should need a mahram.

    Islam teaches a woman needs a mahram permission to work and this is ahl Al Sunnah. While I don't understand why personally, I know it's obligatory and I don't make sinful that which isn't or vice versa.

    It is also ahl al Sunnah that if you've learned about true Islam but deny it, you are doomed to hell. This is a teaching I accept as true, it's got plenty of daleel, but deep down I'll never understand why my mother is doomed to hell. I know that God knows best so my feelings are based on a notion that might be incorrect but I just hate that it has to be this way. I'm a westerner who is a revert so these concepts are new to me and hard to grasp.

    I don't hate God or say that something is halaal when it's not. I just don't understand why some things are the way they are and I wish it were different.

    Is this kufr Akbar because I don't want to be committing a grave sin for disliking that which God has decreed. And also, how can I come to terms with some of these issues? One thing that reassures me a lot is that God tests those he loves the most so having a hard life is not a bad thing if you look at the bigger picture. I also have to remind myself that God knows best and I can't understand everything because I'm not perfect.

    Anyway I wish you all the best and thank you for taking the time to read this. May God forgive us all and guide us to a more straight path
    Last edited by greenshirt; 28-10-17 at 06:15 AM. Reason: Grammar
    Kyle

  2. #2
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    Re: Hating that which is haraam because you don't understand

    Quote Originally Posted by greenshirt View Post
    Asalaamu Alaikum brothers and sisters,
    Let me first clarify that I love God and understand that He is Perfect and we are not, so since we aren't perfect we don't understand everything, and even if we don't understand, I trust that God knows best.

    There are some things that are sinful or obligatory (such as a woman needing a mahram to approve her for work, the fact that sex outside of marriage is sinful, or that those who reject Islam after hearing it are doomed to hell forever.) These are some things that I don't understand why they are required or sinful and these are just a very few examples. Yet some things, like a woman needing a mahram to allow to work... I just don't like that. I don't think a woman should need a mahram.

    Islam teaches a woman needs a mahram permission to work and this is ahl Al Sunnah. While I don't understand why personally, I know it's obligatory and I don't make sinful that which isn't or vice versa.

    It is also ahl al Sunnah that if you've learned about true Islam but deny it, you are doomed to hell. This is a teaching I accept as true, it's got plenty of daleel, but deep down I'll never understand why my mother is doomed to hell. I know that God knows best so my feelings are based on a notion that might be incorrect but I just hate that it has to be this way. I'm a westerner who is a revert so these concepts are new to me and hard to grasp.

    I don't hate God or say that something is halaal when it's not. I just don't understand why some things are the way they are and I wish it were different.

    Is this kufr Akbar because I don't want to be committing a grave sin for disliking that which God has decreed. And also, how can I come to terms with some of these issues? One thing that reassures me a lot is that God tests those he loves the most so having a hard life is not a bad thing if you look at the bigger picture. I also have to remind myself that God knows best and I can't understand everything because I'm not perfect.

    Anyway I wish you all the best and thank you for taking the time to read this. May God forgive us all and guide us to a more straight path
    Salaamalaikum, u understand correctly and it is hard for you, I wouldn't say u have committed kufr Akbar as u know and accept and follow the haq and do not belittle the deen, but it is hard for you to fully grasp some matters as with everyone we may not understand certain stuff, somethings are hard on ur heart, you do not hate the deen alhamdulillah.
    remember the messenger s.a.w., his parents and Abu talib died on kufr as well even though they were close to the messenger s.a.w. he even made dua for them but later Allah revealed not to make dua,
    Somethings are hard for us, some Muslims find it hard to stay away from zina others alcohol, we all have our struggles and this issue is yours, but also remember on qiyaamah, the relations will mean nothing people will runaway and stand as witnesses against those who they used to love in dunya, because on that day it is everyone for themselves, everyone will be naked but no one will care about other peoples nakedness because of the fear and severity of the situation, I advise that we should focus on our akhira, what is in the past has gone and cannot be changed, only the future matters now.
    May Allah make it easy on everyone that day.


    https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/abdur...al-qayyim/amp/

  3. #3
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    Re: Hating that which is haraam because you don't understand


  4. #4
    "رَوْحٌ وَ رَيْحَان" Tayoofa's Avatar
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    Re: Hating that which is haraam because you don't understand

    و عليكم السلام و رحمة الله و بركاته

    First of all it is essential to know that Muslim men and Muslim women are obliged to follow the commands of Allah and His Messenger, no matter how difficult that may be for people. The believer who is sincere in his faith is the one who is sincere in carrying out his duty towards his Lord and obeying His commands and avoiding that which He has forbidden. No believer, man or woman, has the right to hesitate with regard to commands; rather he or she should hear and obey immediately, in accordance with words of Allah :

    (“It is not for a believer, man or woman, when Allah and His Messenger have decreed a matter that they should have any option in their decision. And whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger has certainly strayed into clear error.") Quran 33:36

    Shaykh ‘Abd al-Rahman al-Sa’di may Allah have mercy on him said:

    (“It is not for a believer, man or woman” ) means: it is not appropriate or befitting for the one who is described as a believer to do anything other than to hasten to please Allah and His Messenger, and to flee from incurring the wrath of Allah and His Messenger, and to obey their commands, and to avoid that which they have prohibited. It is not appropriate for a believing man or a believing woman (“when Allah and His Messenger have decreed a matter” ) and enjoined it, (“that they should have any option in their decision”). They do not have the choice of whether to do it or not, rather the believing man and the believing woman know that the Messenger is dearer to them then their own selves, so they should not let their own whims and desires form a barrier between them and obeying the command of Allah and His Messenger.

    (“And whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger, he has indeed strayed into a clear error” ) means, an obvious error, because he has forsaken the Straight Path which leads to the reward of Allah, and has strayed to another path which leads to a painful torment. So Allah mentions first the reason for not going against the command of Allah and His Messenger, which is faith, then He mentions the deterrent for that, which is fear of going astray, which leads to punishment and humiliation...
    . )

    Tafsir al-Sa’di

    But if a person dislikes something even though it is prescribed in shariah, that does not adversely affect him, as long as he acknowledges the Shari’ah rulings and their wisdom; this is called a natural disliking. It is like a person disliking the use of cold water for wudhu or Jihad, while accepting and submitting to the laws of Allah, as the Exalted says :

    ( “Fighting has been enjoined upon you while it is hateful to you. But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not.”) Quran 2:216

    And similar to this is a woman’s dislike of having a co-wife while she believes in the permissibility of polygamy and does not object to the law of the Law-Giver and His wisdom.

    So natural dislike towards something does not incur a sin, as long as the Muslim submits to the laws of Allah.

    However, the more a Muslim's Iman (faith) increases and the greater his understanding of the laws and wisdom of the Shari’ah become, the more content he become and his heart become accepting. He praise Allah for things which are pleasing as well as hardships; so the Muslim goes where he is ordered and stops where he is ordered and when hardships befall him, he comprehends what he contain of rewards and good and becomes calm and happy. This is not the case with everyone, and one who has not reached this level will not be held accountable for it.

    We ask Allah to increase you in Iman , knowledge and guidance.
    Ibn Al Qayyim may Allah have mercy on him said: ("
    The heart on its journey towards Allah the Exalted is like that of a bird. Love is its head, and fear and hope are its two wings. When the head is healthy, then the two wings will fly well. When the head is cut off, the bird will die. When either of two wings is damaged, the bird becomes vulnerable to every hunter and predator..”
    )

  5. #5
    "رَوْحٌ وَ رَيْحَان" Tayoofa's Avatar
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    Re: Hating that which is haraam because you don't understand

    Ruling on one who is not able to see the wisdom behind one of the rulings of Allah and thinks himself to be more knowledgeable and wiser than Allah


    https://islamqa.info/en/245073

    The fate of kuffaar who did not hear the message of Islam

    https://islamqa.info/en/1244


    And about committing illegal relationship

    Abu Umaamah said: A young man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and said:

    “O Messenger of Allah, give me permission to commit zina.”

    The people turned to him to rebuke him, saying, “Shh, shh.”

    The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)) said, “Come here.” So he came close to him and he told him to sit down.

    He said, “Would you like that for your mother?”

    He said, “No, by Allah, may I be sacrificed for you.”

    He said, “Nor do people like it for their mothers.”

    He said, “Would you like it for your daughter?”

    He said, “No, by Allah, may I be sacrificed for you.”

    He said, “Nor do people like it for their daughters.”

    He said, “Would you like it for your sister?”

    He said, “No, by Allah, may I be sacrificed for you.”

    He said, “Nor do people like it for their sisters.”

    He said, “Would you like it for your paternal aunt?”

    He said, “No, by Allah, may I be sacrificed for you.”

    He said, “Nor do people like it for their paternal aunts.”

    He said, “Would you like it for your maternal aunt?”

    He said, “No, by Allah, may I be sacrificed for you.”

    He said, “Nor do people like it for their maternal aunts.”

    Then he placed his hand on him and said, “O Allah, forgive his sin, purify his heart, and guard his chastity.”

    And after that, this young man never did anything.


    Musnad Ahmad (21708) Grade : Sahih
    Ibn Al Qayyim may Allah have mercy on him said: ("
    The heart on its journey towards Allah the Exalted is like that of a bird. Love is its head, and fear and hope are its two wings. When the head is healthy, then the two wings will fly well. When the head is cut off, the bird will die. When either of two wings is damaged, the bird becomes vulnerable to every hunter and predator..”
    )

  6. #6
    Odan talibilm09's Avatar
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    Re: Hating that which is haraam because you don't understand



    A muslim woman can work in halal surroundings (without in free mixing ) and she can go out for essential needs without maghram and she can work to save her family and I do not think she needs of any Maghram's approval of such work in such situation.

    All other misunderstandings are just our own misunderstandings. Allah says he wants us to make deen easy for us in many verses of Glorious Quran and also says this 2:286

    '' Allah burdens not a person beyond his scope. He gets reward for that (good) which he has earned, and he is punished for that (evil) which he has earned............................................ ........''

    So we ourselves strain too much without using the allowance Allah gives us though there is no gain without pain so for some troubles during following Islam must be born with patience for the reward and blessings that Allah want to bestow on you.
    Last edited by talibilm09; 05-11-17 at 02:58 PM.
    My sect - No Sect

    My Aqeedah - http://legacy.quran.com/112 ( The Aqeedah of Sahabas)

    Just a Muslim

  7. #7
    Revert :)
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    Re: Hating that which is haraam because you don't understand

    Asallamu alaikum

    Thank you everyone for your responses. Please don’t think I think I’m wiser than God. I try to follow the teachings and I’m sure to tell people the correct view even if I don’t understand. For example, I am a convert. I have many gay friends. I personally have no problem with them being gay. But if they ask what my religion teaches, I am straightforward and say that homosexual acts are haraam and dating the same gender may lead you to great temptation so therefore my religion prohibits it although privacy is valued and what you do in your privacy is up to you to tell me, but I can’t make assumptions.

    So it’s just me not understanding why God made something haraam or at times even halal and therefore I have personal disagreements.

    I don’t eat pork at all and I have eaten strictly halal since I reverted in 2012. Not one time have I even touched pork! No desire to. But when asked “why is a pig najis” I have no answer. The prohibition of pork is no big deal to me because it’s easy to follow. I don’t understand why a pig is najis but I’ve never cared to understand because to me it’s not a critical thing. But there are other issues that affect me greatly. Their prohibition or permissiveness I do not question, but I just don’t understand.

    However, you guys have answered me so thank you. I just wanted to clarify one of the members post that said I thought I’m wiser than God. I don’t think I am!

    Wa Salaam wa rahmatullah wa barakhatu
    Kyle

 

 

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