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Thread: Insecurities

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    Insecurities

    Do you or did you ever have any insecurities? What are they and how did you get over them?

    For me I used to have such low self esteem and I was very insecure about the fact that I had acne and that I wore glasses. I used to not be able to leave my house without makeup on when I was younger because I thought that I I looked ugly without it. As I got older, I learned to stop caring about what everyone else was doing and learned to love myself. I have no problem walking out of my house without makeup on now and I feel so unnatural everytime I wear it. But today I walked into a sephora and this birthday caked woman just stared at my old acne scars and was like "do you need something for that?" and made me feel insecure all over again. I'm over it now but still I feel like an old wound was temporarily opened again.

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    التبع اليماني obaid_m's Avatar
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    Insecurities

    Drink a lot of water and your acne will be gone (not just one time thing). I never had a problem with them because of that.
    “Have you seen he who has taken as his god his [own] desire, and Allah has sent him astray due to knowledge and has set a seal upon his hearing and his heart and put over his vision a veil? So who will guide him after Allah ? Then will you not be reminded? And they say, “There is not but our worldly life; we die and live, and nothing destroys us except time.” And they have of that no knowledge; they are only assuming.” Quran 45:23-24

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    Re: Insecurities

    Quote Originally Posted by obaid_m View Post
    Drink a lot of water and your acne will be gone (not just one time thing). I never had a problem with them because of that.
    Alhamdilliallah I don't have acne anymore. I have very little scarring that isn't even noticeable unless you are standing very close to me, which is why I found it weird that the woman brought it up and made me feel like it was a big problem.

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    Re: Insecurities

    Quote Originally Posted by aelmo View Post
    Do you or did you ever have any insecurities? What are they and how did you get over them?

    For me I used to have such low self esteem and I was very insecure about the fact that I had acne and that I wore glasses. I used to not be able to leave my house without makeup on when I was younger because I thought that I I looked ugly without it. As I got older, I learned to stop caring about what everyone else was doing and learned to love myself. I have no problem walking out of my house without makeup on now and I feel so unnatural everytime I wear it. But today I walked into a sephora and this birthday caked woman just stared at my old acne scars and was like "do you need something for that?" and made me feel insecure all over again. I'm over it now but still I feel like an old wound was temporarily opened again.
    She was probably thinking she was helping you out. Her job is to give advice or help choose/recommend items for shoppers. Maybe she has blemishes herself and thought it wasn’t a big deal to offer help. If the scars bother you, you could try microneedling, which damages the skin to rebuild collagen.

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    Re: Insecurities

    Quote Originally Posted by Sister_2009 View Post
    She was probably thinking she was helping you out. Her job is to give advice or help choose/recommend items for shoppers. Maybe she has blemishes herself and thought it wasn’t a big deal to offer help. If the scars bother you, you could try microneedling, which damages the skin to rebuild collagen.
    I know that she was trying to help me, but I wasn't even talking to her and she went out of her way to point out something that I don't even notice anymore. How would you feel if someone walked up to you and pointed out all of your minor imperfections? Really my acne scars are not very prominent. The point is that this incident made me think about things that I used to be and apparently still am insecure about and I just wanted to hear about other peoples experiences with insecurities and how they got over them (if they did).

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    Re: Insecurities

    I used to have terrible acne when I was a teenager, and like you I always put makeup on to cover it and couldn't go anywhere without it. Even if people came over to the house I'd put makeup on because I was embarrassed.

    I barely get acne anymore and my skin has cleared up quite a bit and I've gotten more comfortable going out without makeup the past few years.


    Still have major self esteem issues though. I hate the way I look and everything else about myself. So my skin cleared up and I'm happy about that but still have other problems.

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    Senior Member Jumpski's Avatar
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    Re: Insecurities

    Quote Originally Posted by aelmo View Post
    Do you or did you ever have any insecurities? What are they and how did you get over them?

    For me I used to have such low self esteem and I was very insecure about the fact that I had acne and that I wore glasses. I used to not be able to leave my house without makeup on when I was younger because I thought that I I looked ugly without it. As I got older, I learned to stop caring about what everyone else was doing and learned to love myself. I have no problem walking out of my house without makeup on now and I feel so unnatural everytime I wear it. But today I walked into a sephora and this birthday caked woman just stared at my old acne scars and was like "do you need something for that?" and made me feel insecure all over again. I'm over it now but still I feel like an old wound was temporarily opened again.
    Is Allah not the best of judges?
    95:8
    It all starts with a thought

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    Re: Insecurities

    Quote Originally Posted by aelmo View Post
    I know that she was trying to help me, but I wasn't even talking to her and she went out of her way to point out something that I don't even notice anymore. How would you feel if someone walked up to you and pointed out all of your minor imperfections? Really my acne scars are not very prominent. The point is that this incident made me think about things that I used to be and apparently still am insecure about and I just wanted to hear about other peoples experiences with insecurities and how they got over them (if they did).
    How would I feel? Exactly how I explained it: Like the person was trying to do their job. They work in a cosmetic shop. They get paid to help you out, help you find products and such. I went into Ulta once and asked for a specific foundation but wanted a shade with yellow undertone. The clerk mentioned something about mature skin and that foundation. Do I get upset, thinking she’s saying I’m “mature?” No, I just said thanks for your recommendation, but I’m looking for this specific item. That’s it. I know I’m older than a lot of their shoppers; that’s a fact. If you have acne scars, it’s kind of the same thing. You can either feel low about it, get some type of resurfacing done, or live with it and not care. The Sephora clerk isn’t that important.

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    Re: Insecurities

    Quote Originally Posted by Sister_2009 View Post
    How would I feel? Exactly how I explained it: Like the person was trying to do their job. They work in a cosmetic shop. They get paid to help you out, help you find products and such. I went into Ulta once and asked for a specific foundation but wanted a shade with yellow undertone. The clerk mentioned something about mature skin and that foundation. Do I get upset, thinking she’s saying I’m “mature?” No, I just said thanks for your recommendation, but I’m looking for this specific item. That’s it. I know I’m older than a lot of their shoppers; that’s a fact. If you have acne scars, it’s kind of the same thing. You can either feel low about it, get some type of resurfacing done, or live with it and not care. The Sephora clerk isn’t that important.
    I know I am being very unreasonable but you didn't see the look of outrage on her face. It made me feel very bad about myself and like I needed to buy what she was selling. I am glad that you have enough a lot of self confidence, subhanallah.

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    Re: Insecurities

    Aren't women, especially ones that aim for perfection in beauty/appearance, more acutely aware of even small blemishes?

    I can't see why you should take her words to heart because:

    1) She is trying to sell you something and guilt-tripping you into buying a product works too (although you may never shop there again)

    2) She is probably spending a lot of time hiding her (and others) blemishes/scars. Such a person being able to spot the smallest of scars is the equivalent of an experienced mechanic hearing some noise in your car that indicates a small problem (with most people being unaware of it)

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    061116 Rifqah's Avatar
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    Re: Insecurities

    Quote Originally Posted by aelmo View Post
    Do you or did you ever have any insecurities? What are they and how did you get over them?

    For me I used to have such low self esteem and I was very insecure about the fact that I had acne and that I wore glasses. I used to not be able to leave my house without makeup on when I was younger because I thought that I I looked ugly without it. As I got older, I learned to stop caring about what everyone else was doing and learned to love myself. I have no problem walking out of my house without makeup on now and I feel so unnatural everytime I wear it. But today I walked into a sephora and this birthday caked woman just stared at my old acne scars and was like "do you need something for that?" and made me feel insecure all over again. I'm over it now but still I feel like an old wound was temporarily opened again.
    I didn't really have any much until I converted to Islam and because it's such a new area for me and changes the whole of your life, it's thrown up a few, yes.

    Just not feeling good enough, struggling with Arabic, concepts that are alien to me and all kinds of things.

    Walking into events at the masjid on my own. Introducing myself to people, getting things wrong in classes because I'm behind everyone else who has more basic knowledge than I do.

    That kind of thing.

    I'm a little insecure about the way I walk

    About my general appearance, not really insecure, no.

    How I deal with how I feel is to challenge those thoughts before they become feelings, with truth and reality.

    That works really well but when I don't catch myself and my feelings have taken over then I just cry it out and pick myself up the next day. That doesn't happen too often, though it did happen today . What can I say, it was a runaway train (hehe...)

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    Re: Insecurities

    I don't really pay much attention...until recently, there are a few issues i'm not happy with but I'm generally happy with who I am alhamdulillah and if i'm not on a particular day, I force myself lol.
    My way of dealing with it is that, we're all going to become a sack of wrinkles, die and rot away. There are bigger things to worry about in this life, you're not a body, you're a soul, you move from place to place as you go through different phases until you reach jannah in'sha Allah
    شَكَوْتُ إلَى وَكِيعٍ سُوءَ حِفْظِي
    فَأرْشَدَنِي إلَى تَرْكِ المعَاصي
    وَأخْبَرَنِي بأَنَّ العِلْمَ نُورٌ
    ونورُ الله لا يهدى لعاصي

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    Senior Member neelu's Avatar
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    Re: Insecurities

    I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. I used to work with a total misery guts kinda sour faced woman who picked faults in everyone. One time I was talking to a staff member about how I was considering getting laser hair removal for my chin (I have a facial hair problem) and this sour faced woman goes to me "yes you should remove the hair on your chin.... and your upper lip... and your hands... and also..." and she just went on and on like WTH! Talk about nit picking my hands look perfectly normal but I get the impression she caught on to the one insecurity I had (about facial hair) and played on that to start nit picking about every part of me. I'm not a vain person but I wanted to slap her, but people reading this will think I'm over reacting cos' they don't know her and they weren't there but I know what I saw and I know what she's like.

    Quote Originally Posted by aelmo View Post
    I know I am being very unreasonable but you didn't see the look of outrage on her face. It made me feel very bad about myself and like I needed to buy what she was selling. I am glad that you have enough a lot of self confidence, subhanallah.

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    Senior Member Juwairiyyah's Avatar
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    Re: Insecurities

    Quote Originally Posted by aelmo View Post
    Do you or did you ever have any insecurities? What are they and how did you get over them?

    For me I used to have such low self esteem and I was very insecure about the fact that I had acne and that I wore glasses. I used to not be able to leave my house without makeup on when I was younger because I thought that I I looked ugly without it. As I got older, I learned to stop caring about what everyone else was doing and learned to love myself. I have no problem walking out of my house without makeup on now and I feel so unnatural everytime I wear it. But today I walked into a sephora and this birthday caked woman just stared at my old acne scars and was like "do you need something for that?" and made me feel insecure all over again. I'm over it now but still I feel like an old wound was temporarily opened again.
    Yes, I used to have very low self-esteem too back when I was a teenager, but as I grew older I slowly started to realize that it was all in my head. No one ever really said anything negative about my appearance (other than my mother lol), I was just being overly critical of myself as most woman do.

    I wouldn't say I'm completely over my insecurities, there are still days when I feel inadequate, but I'm definitely more confident in myself, and don't feel the need to conform to other people's expectations.

    Sometimes I wish I could see myself through someone else's eyes.
    Last edited by Juwairiyyah; 29-10-17 at 02:49 AM.

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    Re: Insecurities

    Quote Originally Posted by aelmo View Post
    I know I am being very unreasonable but you didn't see the look of outrage on her face. It made me feel very bad about myself and like I needed to buy what she was selling. I am glad that you have enough a lot of self confidence, subhanallah.
    I never said you were being unreasonable. You’re saying that about yourself. I gave you a simple explanation as to why she may have mentioned your skin, because it’s her job to recommend and sell products. I also twice gave you a potential solution to work on your skin. I’m not sure as to what else you’re looking for. I’m sorry you’re unhappy.

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    اصبر aynina's Avatar
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    Re: Insecurities

    Quote Originally Posted by obaid_m View Post
    Drink a lot of water and your acne will be gone (not just one time thing). I never had a problem with them because of that.
    Broo that doesnt help, i used to have acne and i had to take very serious medication
    I still have a bit of scarring though
    يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

    O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

    Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

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    Re: Insecurities

    Sis dont worry about the scarring, i have it too and i honestly dont rly mind it, its not that bad..

    If you do feel bad you have lasertreatment for that but i dont think its that bad sis xxx those woman are rude sometimes, i once had a coworker who was chubby and she walked in a store and the lady said "plus size is in the back"
    She was so fumin
    يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

    O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

    Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

 

 

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