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  1. #1
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    I'm on the verge of shirk/kufr, and I need a sign

    Assalam alaykum

    All my life I have had doubts about Islam. I'm an Arabic speaker so I read and understand the Quran. I fast and I try to pray five times a day. I eat halal and avoid what Allah has forbidden. But still, I often feel isolated and disconnected from Allah. When I pray I feel empty. When I fast I question if it's for Allah completely or if there is a social aspect to it. When I don't eat haram things I ask the same question -- is it because of my dedication or is it so I don't eat haram around people?

    I often get frustrated at the religion. For example, today I was in the middle of prayer when I passed gas. Instead of repeating wudu, I got frustrated and cried. In a fit of anger I think I left Islam but instantly repented and said the shahada (I basically said to Allah that I wasn't going to pray until He showed me a sign). I repented as I said, but I waited an hour before calming down and making wudu and praying the prayer, making it late but still within the window of time. I do not have anger issues usually, and even when I do get frustrated I usually take a breath and I feel calm. But today was different. Why should I spend my entire life obeying rules and texts that I harbor doubts over? Again, I feel completely empty whenever I do acts of ibadah. Even at jum'ah I feel like the khutbahs are boring and the recitation of the Quran doesn't speak to my heart anymore. And yes, I do make dua for stronger iman and to keep Satan away from me, but these doubts continue.

    I ask Allah to comfort my heart, to show me a sign that I am on the true path. I know He exists, as it is irrational to believe this universe and all life came to existence from random chance. But I am not comfortable in knowing that Islam is the truth. Christians pray to Jesus and saints and experience miracles. Witches (Wiccans) pray to gods and nature and get what they want. I understand that witches use jinn (and possibly Christians when they pray to saints and Jesus), but how do I know Islam is the religion that the Creator intended for me?

    It is not questions I have; it is pure doubt. I'm the type of person to need evidence to believe something.

    Yes, I do recognize that the Quran is beautiful and complex, but that does not hinder my doubt. I just want one sign to happen to me to show me that Islam is the utter truth.

    I don't know what to do. I catch myself occasionally looking into different religions (hence the kufr/shirk in the title), but something at the back of my mind keeps me from making the leap, hoping that Allah will indeed show me a sign. But it hasn't happened yet.

    I hope the community here doesn't hold this post against me; I am not here to stir trouble or cause fitnah (though I know this post is a source of fitnah). I am genuinely seeking help, but the local imam isn't helpful, and from recent khutbahs I think he's really watering down the religion to just the Quran minus jihad, so I don't totally trust his advice.
    Last edited by lailahailaHuwa; 21-10-17 at 08:35 PM.

  2. #41
    Abu-Tawheed Saif-Uddin's Avatar
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    Re: I'm on the verge of shirk/kufr, and I need a sign

    Quote Originally Posted by lailahailaHuwa View Post
    I don't disagree with anything that Allah or His messenger, salAllah alayhi w salam, said. I just need to satisfy this feeling that I don't have concrete evidence.

    In no way am I saying that I'm near Ibrahim alayhi salam in faith, obedience, or action, but did he not request a sign from Allah to ease his heart? I feel similarity-- I have no reason to reject Islam nor doubt it, I just want something to ease my heart.

    I make dua for Allah to remove from this state.

    EDIT: I know Allah gave him a sign because he was a prophet and was far above the rest of mankind, and that He has no reason to give me, an insignificant person, a sign to reassure my faith when there are those so much better than me in faith, action, and love for Islam who have never requested not been given a sign. I know this fully.
    Your contradicting yourself,

    You can't say you don't reject anything Allah عز و جل and his Rasul صلى الله عليه و سلم said, and then tell me you have doubts about Islam.

    They are mutually exclusive, it's one of the other.

    The Ayah citing the fact that one cannot be a Believer and doubt at the same time also disproves your claim.

    Now tell us what exactly about Islam that you doubt?

    And tell us why your asking about a Miracle, when the greatest miracle (Qur'an) is available to you ?

    Can we get some clear answers from you so we can progress with this thread?
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  3. #42
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    Re: I'm on the verge of shirk/kufr, and I need a sign

    Quote Originally Posted by Saif-Uddin View Post
    Your contradicting yourself,

    You can't say you don't reject anything Allah عز و جل and his Rasul صلى الله عليه و سلم said, and then tell me you have doubts about Islam.

    They are mutually exclusive, it's one of the other.

    The Ayah citing the fact that one cannot be a Believer and doubt at the same time also disproves your claim.

    Now tell us what exactly about Islam that you doubt?

    And tell us why your asking about a Miracle, when the greatest miracle (Qur'an) is available to you ?

    Can we get some clear answers from you so we can progress with this thread?
    I think it stems from not being able to get immediate results when calling out to Allah or after sinning. I do not, for example, automatically get what I want when I ask, and I know that that is because Allah either wants to delay the answer, give me something better, remove harm, or answer it in the Hereafter, or because I have sinned and He won't answer. When I sin I only feel overwhelming guilt, but there is not a physical punishment. So doing good in life does not always come with immediate results and doing bad does not bring immediate punishment.

    I know Allah and His Messenger SAWS warn against calling for immediate punishment and they urge patience.

    Have your own duas ever been answered exactly as you asked? Have you asked for something specific (not general, like more faith or better health) and gotten an answer? Have you ever done a sin and saw the repercussions immediately other than guilt? Personally, I haven't. And I know it's because life isn't great otherwise it would be jannah, and that Allah can have something better in store in this world or the next, or that He is displeased in me and thus won't answer. I ask every day for more iman but every day I wake up like the day before. I'm always reading and asking questions in order to do my part, but I feel as though the most important part-- Allah's Will-- isn't on my side.

    I know I sound like a brat and that I think Allah owes me anything. I promise you I don't. He doesn't have to answer my duas or make life perfect for me, because I don't deserve it first of all and second of all it's illogical. But at the end of the day I just want something to happen in my life to tell me that I am indeed on the true path.
    Last edited by lailahailaHuwa; 24-10-17 at 09:09 PM.

  4. #43
    Abu-Tawheed Saif-Uddin's Avatar
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    Re: I'm on the verge of shirk/kufr, and I need a sign

    Quote Originally Posted by lailahailaHuwa View Post
    I think it stems from not being able to get immediate results when calling out to Allah or after sinning. I do not, for example, automatically get what I want when I ask, and I know that that is because Allah either wants to delay the answer, give me something better, remove harm, or answer it in the Hereafter, or because I have sinned and He won't answer. When I sin I only feel overwhelming guilt, but there is not a physical punishment. So doing good in life does not always come with immediate results and doing bad does not bring immediate punishment.

    I know Allah and His Messenger SAWS warn against calling for immediate punishment and they urge patience.

    Have your own duas ever been answered exactly as you asked? Have you asked for something specific (not general, like more faith or better health) and gotten an answer? Have you ever done a sin and saw the repercussions immediately other than guilt? Personally, I haven't. And I know it's because life isn't great otherwise it would be jannah, and that Allah can have something better in store in this world or the next, or that He is displeased in me and thus won't answer. I ask every day for more iman but every day I wake up like the day before. I'm always reading and asking questions in order to do my part, but I feel as though the most important part-- Allah's Will-- isn't on my side.

    I know I sound like a brat and that I think Allah owes me anything. I promise you I don't. He doesn't have to answer my duas or make life perfect for me, because I don't deserve it first of all and second of all it's illogical. But at the end of the day I just want something to happen in my life to tell me that I am indeed on the true path.
    You know why your Dua may not be answered, and you have doubts?

    Your not making any sense.

    So what your saying is that the Greatest miracle, the Qur'an is not proof enough that Islam is the Haqq?
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  5. #44
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    Re: I'm on the verge of shirk/kufr, and I need a sign

    Quote Originally Posted by Saif-Uddin View Post
    You know why your Dua may not be answered, and you have doubts?

    Your not making any sense.

    So what your saying is that the Greatest miracle, the Qur'an is not proof enough that Islam is the Haqq?
    This thread won't go anywhere until I know what's bothering me. But ultimately yes, I know that my duas might not be answered and I still have what I think are doubts. Or maybe it's another emotion entirely that I'm mistaking for doubt, like frustration.

    I do think the Quran is a miracle in and of itself, but maybe I don't know how to view it as a miracle? I'm a native speaker of Arabic but I'm not trained in Arabic, so maybe what I think is just beautiful has 1000 more layers that I'm not realizing. Often when I read evidence about the language it usually talks about how it's between prose and poetry and the preciseness of the words. That's of course amazing, but it doesn't jump out to me (as it should). Maybe my entire approach to the Quran is wrong.

    JzkAllah khair for helping me to analyze where my feelings are coming from.

  6. #45
    Keeping Islam Alive ! Believer1984's Avatar
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    Re: I'm on the verge of shirk/kufr, and I need a sign

    Salaam

    Maybe you have reached a point in life where you are facing your biggest test ?

    Doubts are normal but being able to face them and beat them will make you a better believer.

    You want a sign?

    Pray all 5 on-time with commitment for days and make sincere dua to Allah swt and send blessings upon Muhammad s.a.w.... talk to God alone.

    100% HE will give you a sign.

    I am a person just like you and if HE can give me a sign than he can give you 1.

    Akhi our Lord will not turn you away if you are true and yearn for sweet strong faith which I tasted and it comes and goes because life is strange as we live and we face challenges from ourself and shaitaan distracting us.

    But Islam is true because with whole honestly I begged for a sign and I seen it when my heart went soft, when my spiritual presence became fruitful, when I felt abundance of peace and when children would follow me, when love and joy comforts you.

    Not just me but many would agree that this is the best of sign when we feel the force of guidance.

    All doubts can go to hell because Islam is the heavenly haq !

    May Allah swt give you a sign which HE gave me or better. S.a.w.

    Ameen.
    Believer1984.com Life is about believing. A website on Islam and everything else.

  7. #46
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    Re: I'm on the verge of shirk/kufr, and I need a sign

    Quote Originally Posted by Believer1984 View Post
    Salaam

    Maybe you have reached a point in life where you are facing your biggest test ?

    Doubts are normal but being able to face them and beat them will make you a better believer.

    You want a sign?

    Pray all 5 on-time with commitment for days and make sincere dua to Allah swt and send blessings upon Muhammad s.a.w.... talk to God alone.

    100% HE will give you a sign.

    I am a person just like you and if HE can give me a sign than he can give you 1.

    Akhi our Lord will not turn you away if you are true and yearn for sweet strong faith which I tasted and it comes and goes because life is strange as we live and we face challenges from ourself and shaitaan distracting us.

    But Islam is true because with whole honestly I begged for a sign and I seen it when my heart went soft, when my spiritual presence became fruitful, when I felt abundance of peace and when children would follow me, when love and joy comforts you.

    Not just me but many would agree that this is the best of sign when we feel the force of guidance.

    All doubts can go to hell because Islam is the heavenly haq !

    May Allah swt give you a sign which HE gave me or better. S.a.w.

    Ameen.
    The comfort and love in knowing the truth is certainly a glorious sign, and likely all I need.

    Jzk

  8. #47
    Keeping Islam Alive ! Believer1984's Avatar
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    Re: I'm on the verge of shirk/kufr, and I need a sign

    Quote Originally Posted by lailahailaHuwa View Post
    The comfort and love in knowing the truth is certainly a glorious sign, and likely all I need.

    Jzk
    Salaam akhi it is there just pray be patient make dua and stay away from sins and you will feel it, you will see it , you will become blessed.

    Also spend around 20 mins a day reading the qur'an with full faith.

    Have good manners.

    Insha Allah you can do it.

    In my duas.

    Peace.
    Last edited by Believer1984; 25-10-17 at 10:13 PM.
    Believer1984.com Life is about believing. A website on Islam and everything else.

  9. #48
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    Re: I'm on the verge of shirk/kufr, and I need a sign

    Quote Originally Posted by lailahailaHuwa View Post
    Assalam alaykum

    All my life I have had doubts about Islam. I'm an Arabic speaker so I read and understand the Quran. I fast and I try to pray five times a day. I eat halal and avoid what Allah has forbidden. But still, I often feel isolated and disconnected from Allah. When I pray I feel empty. When I fast I question if it's for Allah completely or if there is a social aspect to it. When I don't eat haram things I ask the same question -- is it because of my dedication or is it so I don't eat haram around people?

    I often get frustrated at the religion. For example, today I was in the middle of prayer when I passed gas. Instead of repeating wudu, I got frustrated and cried. In a fit of anger I think I left Islam but instantly repented and said the shahada (I basically said to Allah that I wasn't going to pray until He showed me a sign). I repented as I said, but I waited an hour before calming down and making wudu and praying the prayer, making it late but still within the window of time. I do not have anger issues usually, and even when I do get frustrated I usually take a breath and I feel calm. But today was different. Why should I spend my entire life obeying rules and texts that I harbor doubts over? Again, I feel completely empty whenever I do acts of ibadah. Even at jum'ah I feel like the khutbahs are boring and the recitation of the Quran doesn't speak to my heart anymore. And yes, I do make dua for stronger iman and to keep Satan away from me, but these doubts continue.

    I ask Allah to comfort my heart, to show me a sign that I am on the true path. I know He exists, as it is irrational to believe this universe and all life came to existence from random chance. But I am not comfortable in knowing that Islam is the truth. Christians pray to Jesus and saints and experience miracles. Witches (Wiccans) pray to gods and nature and get what they want. I understand that witches use jinn (and possibly Christians when they pray to saints and Jesus), but how do I know Islam is the religion that the Creator intended for me?

    It is not questions I have; it is pure doubt. I'm the type of person to need evidence to believe something.

    Yes, I do recognize that the Quran is beautiful and complex, but that does not hinder my doubt. I just want one sign to happen to me to show me that Islam is the utter truth.

    I don't know what to do. I catch myself occasionally looking into different religions (hence the kufr/shirk in the title), but something at the back of my mind keeps me from making the leap, hoping that Allah will indeed show me a sign. But it hasn't happened yet.

    I hope the community here doesn't hold this post against me; I am not here to stir trouble or cause fitnah (though I know this post is a source of fitnah). I am genuinely seeking help, but the local imam isn't helpful, and from recent khutbahs I think he's really watering down the religion to just the Quran minus jihad, so I don't totally trust his advice.
    Seems like you are describing me few years back . I went through worse doubts which tortured me mentally. What led me to be certain is I can mention to you why Islam is true but if you inbox me it will be better because I will have to mention atleast 30 reasons in these 30 reasons are hundreds of reasons. It will take very long to go through all so I could cut it and go through selected examples.

 

 

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