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  1. #1
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    Marriage CVs what do you think of them?

    :

    just want to see if you reckon marriage CVs are good or not

    i personally think a marriage CV doesnt do justice to the person

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    Senior Member SuperHS's Avatar
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    Re: Marriage CVs what do you think of them?



    It's madnesss. Btw what is a marriage CV?
    ‎”Verily amongst the people are those who are keys to good ‎and locks to evil. And amongst the people are those who ‎are keys to evil and locks to good. So glad tidings for the ‎one whom Allah has placed the keys of good upon his hands and woe be to the one ‎whom Allah has placed the keys of evil at his disposal.” - Prophet Muhammad

  3. #82
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    Re: Marriage CVs what do you think of them?

    Quote Originally Posted by SuperHS View Post


    It's madnesss. Btw what is a marriage CV?

  4. #83
    I wonder Ya'sin's Avatar
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    Re: Marriage CVs what do you think of them?

    Quote Originally Posted by Simply_Logical View Post
    did your sis meet them or did she decline it?
    We saw their CV and photo which came together

    My sister was not interested (no mutual attraction) but she was fine with whatever my parents wanted

    But it was the bridegroom that said no

    After she got married they came back

    That's quite insulting, I don't like that.
    'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

    So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

  5. #84
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    Re: Marriage CVs what do you think of them?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ya'sin View Post
    We saw their CV and photo which came together

    My sister was not interested (no mutual attraction) but she was fine with whatever my parents wanted

    But it was the bridegroom that said no

    After she got married they came back

    That's quite insulting, I don't like that.
    interesting...
    Surah Taha, Verse 69:

    وَأَلْقِ مَا فِي يَمِينِكَ تَلْقَفْ مَا صَنَعُوا إِنَّمَا صَنَعُوا كَيْدُ سَاحِرٍ وَلَا يُفْلِحُ السَّاحِرُ حَيْثُ أَتَىٰ

    "And throw that which is in your right hand! It will swallow up that which they have made. That which they have made is only a magician's trick,
    and the magician will never be successful, no matter whatever amount (of skill) he may attain."

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    Re: Marriage CVs what do you think of them?

    Quote Originally Posted by Samsandman View Post
    Wow,i just did this

    Just lost a lot of respect for bengalis as a whole.

    What a ridiculous situation.
    . I AM BENGALI. . It's cos I am not white isn't it

    Well, I am BRITISH far more ....



    It's not bad sandssandman, why do you think it's so disgraceful. It's useful

    The first thing you want to know is about the man's religion but then you are more likely to ask about his job, family, a brief background about him

    What's so criminal about that?
    'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

    So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

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    I wonder Ya'sin's Avatar
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    Re: Marriage CVs what do you think of them?

    Quote Originally Posted by Simply_Logical View Post
    interesting...
    If we just call it marriage bio people will not see it as ridiculous

    The name CV makes it sound really silly Billy

    'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

    So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

  8. #87
    --- Simply_Logical's Avatar
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    Re: Marriage CVs what do you think of them?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ya'sin View Post
    If we just call it marriage bio people will not see it as ridiculous

    The name CV makes it sound really silly Billy

    but it essentially is a cv
    Surah Taha, Verse 69:

    وَأَلْقِ مَا فِي يَمِينِكَ تَلْقَفْ مَا صَنَعُوا إِنَّمَا صَنَعُوا كَيْدُ سَاحِرٍ وَلَا يُفْلِحُ السَّاحِرُ حَيْثُ أَتَىٰ

    "And throw that which is in your right hand! It will swallow up that which they have made. That which they have made is only a magician's trick,
    and the magician will never be successful, no matter whatever amount (of skill) he may attain."

    Self Help Ruqya Shari'ah Guide
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    Is there such a thing as good magic? by Abu Ibraheem
    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...y-Abu-Ibraheem

    Don't fear the Jinn - Muhammad Tim Humble
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    Exposing Black Magic
    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...ing+black+mgic

    The History of Black Magic
    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...hlight=history

    Real Magicians And Sorcerers
    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...-And-Sorcerers

    How to destroy a taweez ? Ruqya related questions answered
    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...tions-answered

    Exposing Taweez...
    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...xposing-Taweez

    Ruqyah Audio
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    Sorcerer's Plot | Arabic | English Subtitles | Every Muslim must watch this video
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  9. #88

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    Re: Marriage CVs what do you think of them?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ya'sin View Post
    . I AM BENGALI. . It's cos I am not white isn't it

    Well, I am BRITISH far more ....



    It's not bad sandssandman, why do you think it's so disgraceful. It's useful

    The first thing you want to know is about the man's religion but then you are more likely to ask about his job, family, a brief background about him

    What's so criminal about that?
    Don't take it personal but that marriage CV(we call them resumes in N.America) is cold and heartless way of looking for a spouse and I still love bengalis for the sake of Allah awj but sometimes who need to step back and evaluate whether something is Islamic or cultural and if it is cultural is their any harms or benefits to it,

    Some of the aspect you mentioned like family,background etc actually have Nothing to do with his suitability as a spouse.
    Lets look to the sahaba as an example as they are the finest of generation and they ARE an example to us:

    Bilal ra background was he was the poorest of poor and a former slave.
    Umar ra used to murder his own daughters and used to beat and abuse muslims and his own womenfolk.
    Khalid bin walid ra Actually physically fought the muslims and tried to kill the Prophet sallahu alayhi wasalam.
    Ikrimah ibn Abu Jahal was the son of one of the worst enemies of Islam.

    not exactly glowing CV's But these are the best of people! Who in their right mind wouldn't want to marry their daughters to the above people if they had the chance? Sometimes what looks good on paper does not reflect the reality of the person and what looks bad on paper does not reflect the reality of the person.

    Secondly this is not a job at some kuffar corporation where you need a degree in engineering at the right school,X number of years of job experience,x amount of money in the bank or come from this or that family or village etc.

    Being well educated in science or technology has nothing to do with deen and akhlak whatsoever. somebody may be a doctor and have the manners of your average farm swine.
    A man may be an engineer in a large reputable company with 10 years of experience and just have been promoted to Vice president and may be culturally backwards,not pray or give zakat and the first time his wifey burns his chipatti he beats her down.

    The whole process puts WAY to much emphasize on dunya aspects.

    I know of a brother from Chad that I pray with that is sincere,humble,has excellent manners,looks after his family etc but works as a security guard.
    I know a of another brother from eritrea that is sincere,humble,has excellent manners,looks after his family but works as a baker.

    Not glamorous or prestiges jobs but they pay the bills and IF I had a sister,whether she was muslim or not, I would be setting her up with one of these brothers as I've come to know their character and deen and have been impressed. I know that through thick and thin they would uphold their duties and respect the rights of my (imaginary) sister as they have taqwa.

    She may not live a 5 star lifestyle but she will be with a good,pious man and that is what is important.

    My recent experience with online matrimonials sites was enlightening as more sister contacted ME than I contacted as the site is filled with men who have good education,great,high paying jobs and high income. But Sisters aren't as stupid as some brothers take them for and No pious sister who is sincere in here religion wants a pie faced man who deals in riba, who lives with his parents and is culturally backward.

    there are some brothers who have advised me take out a student loan to so I can go back to school to so I can get a "good" job

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    Re: Marriage CVs what do you think of them?

    Quote Originally Posted by Samsandman View Post
    Don't take it personal but that marriage CV(we call them resumes in N.America) is cold and heartless way of looking for a spouse and I still love bengalis for the sake of Allah awj but sometimes who need to step back and evaluate whether something is Islamic or cultural and if it is cultural is their any harms or benefits to it,

    Some of the aspect you mentioned like family,background etc actually have Nothing to do with his suitability as a spouse.
    Lets look to the sahaba as an example as they are the finest of generation and they ARE an example to us:

    Bilal ra background was he was the poorest of poor and a former slave.
    Umar ra used to murder his own daughters and used to beat and abuse muslims and his own womenfolk.
    Khalid bin walid ra Actually physically fought the muslims and tried to kill the Prophet sallahu alayhi wasalam.
    Ikrimah ibn Abu Jahal was the son of one of the worst enemies of Islam.

    not exactly glowing CV's But these are the best of people! Who in their right mind wouldn't want to marry their daughters to the above people if they had the chance? Sometimes what looks good on paper does not reflect the reality of the person and what looks bad on paper does not reflect the reality of the person.

    Secondly this is not a job at some kuffar corporation where you need a degree in engineering at the right school,X number of years of job experience,x amount of money in the bank or come from this or that family or village etc.

    Being well educated in science or technology has nothing to do with deen and akhlak whatsoever. somebody may be a doctor and have the manners of your average farm swine.
    A man may be an engineer in a large reputable company with 10 years of experience and just have been promoted to Vice president and may be culturally backwards,not pray or give zakat and the first time his wifey burns his chipatti he beats her down.

    The whole process puts WAY to much emphasize on dunya aspects.

    I know of a brother from Chad that I pray with that is sincere,humble,has excellent manners,looks after his family etc but works as a security guard.
    I know a of another brother from eritrea that is sincere,humble,has excellent manners,looks after his family but works as a baker.

    Not glamorous or prestiges jobs but they pay the bills and IF I had a sister,whether she was muslim or not, I would be setting her up with one of these brothers as I've come to know their character and deen and have been impressed. I know that through thick and thin they would uphold their duties and respect the rights of my (imaginary) sister as they have taqwa.

    She may not live a 5 star lifestyle but she will be with a good,pious man and that is what is important.

    My recent experience with online matrimonials sites was enlightening as more sister contacted ME than I contacted as the site is filled with men who have good education,great,high paying jobs and high income. But Sisters aren't as stupid as some brothers take them for and No pious sister who is sincere in here religion wants a pie faced man who deals in riba, who lives with his parents and is culturally backward.

    there are some brothers who have advised me take out a student loan to so I can go back to school to so I can get a "good" job
    I believe you may be going a little overboard in your criticism. Balance between deen and dunya is the aim. Your examples are not comparable because you personally know these guys and have observed them over time. The marriage CV helps strangers to form a basic idea on possible compatibility..as a revert, I assume you are, you may get more interest on marriage sites from girls who believe they can bypass the risk of crazy MIL or jahil cultural practices among other reasons.
    Spears shall be shaken! Shields shall be splintered! a sword day..a red day..ere the sun rises! Ride now! Ride now! Ride! Ride to ruin, and the world’s ending!

    None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.”

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    Re: Marriage CVs what do you think of them?

    Quote Originally Posted by Eorlingas View Post
    I believe you may be going a little overboard in your criticism. Balance between deen and dunya is the aim. Your examples are not comparable because you personally know these guys and have observed them over time. The marriage CV helps strangers to form a basic idea on possible compatibility..as a revert, I assume you are, you may get more interest on marriage sites from girls who believe they can bypass the risk of crazy MIL or jahil cultural practices among other reasons.
    Deen and akhlaq are the only two aspects that should be looked at when it comes to a man. People like to play around and twist two ahadeeth around to say that you should look at his wealth,family lineage etc but that hadith is spealing about WOMEN,not men.

    No DECENT woman will look at CV and say "he's a doctor,I'm compatible with that!" It;s just a gold digger,dunya obsessed woman and social climber who says that.
    CV tell nothing about character or how that relates to compatibility.

    I seem to get a lot of attention from sisters who don't have a wali or want to bypass their wali altogether,both situations make me very uncomfortable.

    Again the issue is separating cultural backwardness from Islam.

    Many south asian need to give up their hindu imitating and get with Islam. Why do I point the finger at south asians and accuse them of imitating hindus because somalis,arabs,maghrebis etc NEVER complain of oppressive MIL who they are forced to live with as it's A CULTRUAL practice of hindus and non of those people came converting from hinduism.

    they folks form somali have their own jahil practices to overcome like FGM and showing off the bloody sheets after the wedding night.

    When I reverted i had to give up many jahil cultural beliefs like drinking for every occasion ,eating swine,freemixing etc,etc. I did this because I was sincere about my religion.
    Anyone who is sincere about Islam needs to do the same.

    If I was able to figure this out only reading,writing and speaking english there is no excuses for people who speak Urdu or bengal as their are entire libraries of dawah material in both languages but very little in english so no excuses from that direction

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    Re: Marriage CVs what do you think of them?

    Quote Originally Posted by Samsandman View Post
    Deen and akhlaq are the only two aspects that should be looked at when it comes to a man. People like to play around and twist two ahadeeth around to say that you should look at his wealth,family lineage etc but that hadith is spealing about WOMEN,not men.

    No DECENT woman will look at CV and say "he's a doctor,I'm compatible with that!" It;s just a gold digger,dunya obsessed woman and social climber who says that.
    CV tell nothing about character or how that relates to compatibility.

    I seem to get a lot of attention from sisters who don't have a wali or want to bypass their wali altogether,both situations make me very uncomfortable.

    Again the issue is separating cultural backwardness from Islam.

    Many south asian need to give up their hindu imitating and get with Islam. Why do I point the finger at south asians and accuse them of imitating hindus because somalis,arabs,maghrebis etc NEVER complain of oppressive MIL who they are forced to live with as it's A CULTRUAL practice of hindus and non of those people came converting from hinduism.

    they folks form somali have their own jahil practices to overcome like FGM and showing off the bloody sheets after the wedding night.

    When I reverted i had to give up many jahil cultural beliefs like drinking for every occasion ,eating swine,freemixing etc,etc. I did this because I was sincere about my religion.
    Anyone who is sincere about Islam needs to do the same.

    If I was able to figure this out only reading,writing and speaking english there is no excuses for people who speak Urdu or bengal as their are entire libraries of dawah material in both languages but very little in english so no excuses from that direction
    Ok your rant about pakistanis or other south asian muslims imitating hindus aside, marriage cvs are useful to some degree. Yes it reduces a guy to their raw stats, looks, status, family lineage. Those things are still very important even if deen and akhlaq are number one. And while I agree that any decent girl wouldn't marry a guy who's sole accomplishment is a doctor, plenty would if he brought personality, some attraction, and was somewhat practicing. Heck most would in general and for the most part I haven't seen such marriages fail. It makes sense you're a revert that you don't like these sorts of things. Usually the one's who have reverted tend to be more passionate and adhere better to the religion. They also have this nasty tendency to judge people who were born muslims for not adhering as strictly. The whole point of a cv is if you even want to bother to get to know the prospect in person. Plus muslims being the people we are like to stick to our own race and sometimes have to go to other cities to visit prospects. Trust me when I say this my aunt lives in Iowa and got a proposal from a family in a small city in montreal, it blew my mind lol. The parents are visiting her to see if its workable. No marriage I know occurred solely cause of a cv just like no employer hires you without an interview first. LOL so please chill a little your rant won't fix anything.

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    Re: Marriage CVs what do you think of them?

    Quote Originally Posted by Samsandman View Post
    Deen and akhlaq are the only two aspects that should be looked at when it comes to a man. People like to play around and twist two ahadeeth around to say that you should look at his wealth,family lineage etc but that hadith is spealing about WOMEN,not men.

    No DECENT woman will look at CV and say "he's a doctor,I'm compatible with that!" It;s just a gold digger,dunya obsessed woman and social climber who says that.
    CV tell nothing about character or how that relates to compatibility.

    I seem to get a lot of attention from sisters who don't have a wali or want to bypass their wali altogether,both situations make me very uncomfortable.

    Again the issue is separating cultural backwardness from Islam.

    Many south asian need to give up their hindu imitating and get with Islam. Why do I point the finger at south asians and accuse them of imitating hindus because somalis,arabs,maghrebis etc NEVER complain of oppressive MIL who they are forced to live with as it's A CULTRUAL practice of hindus and non of those people came converting from hinduism.

    they folks form somali have their own jahil practices to overcome like FGM and showing off the bloody sheets after the wedding night.

    When I reverted i had to give up many jahil cultural beliefs like drinking for every occasion ,eating swine,freemixing etc,etc. I did this because I was sincere about my religion.
    Anyone who is sincere about Islam needs to do the same.

    If I was able to figure this out only reading,writing and speaking english there is no excuses for people who speak Urdu or bengal as their are entire libraries of dawah material in both languages but very little in english so no excuses from that direction
    As i said there has to be balance. No one said a decision will be made based solely on looking at a CV, or one aspect of the potential. It is not a crime to aim for success both in this life and the hereafter. A woman may be very happy to marry a security guard with good deen and character, however it is not wrong if, for example, a woman who comes from a long line of professionals and is herself highly qualified, seeks a man who, while being pious and of good character, is also of similar social and financial status. It is upto the individual as to what they prefer and attempting to shame them for the preference is not necessary.

    I agree there are negative aspects of south asian culture particularly among pendus, however the western culture has taken it to the other extreme. A balance is sought.
    Spears shall be shaken! Shields shall be splintered! a sword day..a red day..ere the sun rises! Ride now! Ride now! Ride! Ride to ruin, and the world’s ending!

    None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.”

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    Re: Marriage CVs what do you think of them?

    Quote Originally Posted by Samsandman View Post
    Deen and akhlaq are the only two aspects that should be looked at when it comes to a man. People like to play around and twist two ahadeeth around to say that you should look at his wealth,family lineage etc but that hadith is spealing about WOMEN,not men.

    No DECENT woman will look at CV and say "he's a doctor,I'm compatible with that!" It;s just a gold digger,dunya obsessed woman and social climber who says that.
    CV tell nothing about character or how that relates to compatibility.

    I seem to get a lot of attention from sisters who don't have a wali or want to bypass their wali altogether,both situations make me very uncomfortable.

    Again the issue is separating cultural backwardness from Islam.

    Many south asian need to give up their hindu imitating and get with Islam. Why do I point the finger at south asians and accuse them of imitating hindus because somalis,arabs,maghrebis etc NEVER complain of oppressive MIL who they are forced to live with as it's A CULTRUAL practice of hindus and non of those people came converting from hinduism.

    they folks form somali have their own jahil practices to overcome like FGM and showing off the bloody sheets after the wedding night.

    When I reverted i had to give up many jahil cultural beliefs like drinking for every occasion ,eating swine,freemixing etc,etc. I did this because I was sincere about my religion.
    Anyone who is sincere about Islam needs to do the same.

    If I was able to figure this out only reading,writing and speaking english there is no excuses for people who speak Urdu or bengal as their are entire libraries of dawah material in both languages but very little in english so no excuses from that direction
    Your posts remind me of a revert brother who used to post on this site, Uncle Umar, who passed away. It has been some time since we had a passionate revert posting. It brings a different perspective and excellent points to ponder.

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    Re: Marriage CVs what do you think of them?

    I've never heard of these in real life. But I see why it would make sense in the US, where it would cost a lot of time and money to travel to potentials.
    What I don't understand is why don't they skype (obviously with mahram) first then?
    Ya Rab! When you give me wealth, do not take away my happiness. When you give me strength, do not take away my intelligence. When you give me victory, do not take away my humility. When you give me humility, do not take away my dignity.

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    Re: Marriage CVs what do you think of them?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sister_2009 View Post
    Your posts remind me of a revert brother who used to post on this site, Uncle Umar, who passed away. It has been some time since we had a passionate revert posting. It brings a different perspective and excellent points to ponder.
    SubhanAllah i never knew
    I still read some of the threads the brother spoke in
    May Allah grant him jannatoul firdous

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    Re: Marriage CVs what do you think of them?

    Quote Originally Posted by -qed- View Post
    I've never heard of these in real life. But I see why it would make sense in the US, where it would cost a lot of time and money to travel to potentials.
    What I don't understand is why don't they skype (obviously with mahram) first then?
    Look in some cases the families don't know of each other at all. They don't know the brother/sister's education status, job, family background etc and heck maybe what the person looks like. Look I think people get offended because these cvs encourage going for the most successful, most educated and occasionally most good looking guy out there or the pretty well educated girl. They hurt the average guy in an average job who simply can't compete against those stats. Yes people say look at deen and akhlaq but the people who are going through marriage cvs are judging whether that person's deen and akhlaq are worth assessing in the first place. Marriage cvs are generally speaking the domain of well educated upper middle class families, usually south asian, who are struggling to find an eligible husband/wife for their loved one. For muslims who are looking to get married but aren't of that background these cvs won't help much.

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    Re: Marriage CVs what do you think of them?

    Quote Originally Posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post
    SubhanAllah i never knew
    I still read some of the threads the brother spoke in
    May Allah grant him jannatoul firdous
    Ameen.

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    I h8 mArriage CVs

    I have seen my own mum and sister act so snobbish when it comes to looking at CVs from guys

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    Guys, do you think people without high qualifications and jobs get hitched more quickly and easily?

    Cos when it comes to these CVs, like 70% have degrees

    And the national average is like 40%?

    Either our ethnicity is really educated or all the people without high educAtion are getting hitched

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    Marriage CVs what do you think of them?

    Some of these girls are too much

    They are too advanced

    They are alimahs and have secular degrees to top it off too

    Given that women tend to marry guys who are more educated or equally educated, these girls will have a tough time getting married unless they make some compromises

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    Re: Marriage CVs what do you think of them?

    Quote Originally Posted by s86ahmed View Post
    Look in some cases the families don't know of each other at all. They don't know the brother/sister's education status, job, family background etc and heck maybe what the person looks like. Look I think people get offended because these cvs encourage going for the most successful, most educated and occasionally most good looking guy out there or the pretty well educated girl. They hurt the average guy in an average job who simply can't compete against those stats. Yes people say look at deen and akhlaq but the people who are going through marriage cvs are judging whether that person's deen and akhlaq are worth assessing in the first place. Marriage cvs are generally speaking the domain of well educated upper middle class families, usually south asian, who are struggling to find an eligible husband/wife for their loved one. For muslims who are looking to get married but aren't of that background these cvs won't help much.
    Yeah but the people who are 'good catches' don't generally need to write a cv. They're known by people. So I guess cvs are for the ordinary folk? So the average guy stands a good chance in the cv scheme, unlike what you're saying.
    Ya Rab! When you give me wealth, do not take away my happiness. When you give me strength, do not take away my intelligence. When you give me victory, do not take away my humility. When you give me humility, do not take away my dignity.

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    Re: Marriage CVs what do you think of them?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ghuraba321 View Post
    Guys, do you think people without high qualifications and jobs get hitched more quickly and easily?

    Cos when it comes to these CVs, like 70% have degrees

    And the national average is like 40%?

    Either our ethnicity is really educated or all the people without high educAtion are getting hitched
    People without higher education tend to marry earlier and generally aren't as picky(in terms of qualifications/salary).Guys like this are also much more likely to marry 'back home'.
    Ya Rab! When you give me wealth, do not take away my happiness. When you give me strength, do not take away my intelligence. When you give me victory, do not take away my humility. When you give me humility, do not take away my dignity.

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    Marriage CVs what do you think of them?

    @-qed-

    I want to marry a simple lady without All this degree nonsense, just as long as she is clever

    In my experience, so many with degrees are just too advanced and some can have an air of arrogance about them

    It is so off putting

    I like the humble, simple and clever lady

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    Re: Marriage CVs what do you think of them?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ghuraba321 View Post
    @-qed-

    I want to marry a simple lady without All this degree nonsense, just as long as she is clever

    In my experience, so many with degrees are just too advanced and some can have an air of arrogance about them

    It is so off putting

    I like the humble, simple and clever lady
    What do you mean by the bolded?
    Ya Rab! When you give me wealth, do not take away my happiness. When you give me strength, do not take away my intelligence. When you give me victory, do not take away my humility. When you give me humility, do not take away my dignity.

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    Re: Marriage CVs what do you think of them?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ghuraba321 View Post
    Some of these girls are too much

    They are too advanced

    They are alimahs and have secular degrees to top it off too

    Given that women tend to marry guys who are more educated or equally educated, these girls will have a tough time getting married unless they make some compromises
    Most righteous people whether they are an alim/alima or with a degree or without a degree wont care about how qualified or what islamic credentials you have compared to them as long as you can provide and you seem to be righteous

    Plus just coz they are an alim doesnt mean nothing as some people may have knowledge but have no understanding
    Some people study islam for years while others a short time and learn much more then the other

    If you have studied islam but look down on people then
    you have a disease of the heart

    The fruit of knowledge is to fear Allah
    If you study islam but do not fear Allah then u wasted time
    In fact a student of knowledge in i think imam Ahmeds time(correct me if im wrong some1) was looking down on someone coz they had less education in Islam but imam Ahmed said they were wrong to look down at them as the person who he was looking down upon feared Allah

    In conclusion if shes looking down at you because you dont have bsc near your name or attended this madrassa or islamic university then shes not worth your time

    Also u can study Islam at home to a certaim point theres tonnes of lectures, books online not to mention tafsir hadith and the Quran
    Read the Quran in english to start off with as well as doing hifz and tafsir

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    Re: Marriage CVs what do you think of them?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ghuraba321 View Post
    Guys, do you think people without high qualifications and jobs get hitched more quickly and easily?

    Cos when it comes to these CVs, like 70% have degrees

    And the national average is like 40%?

    Either our ethnicity is really educated or all the people without high educAtion are getting hitched
    Most have degrees, especially the girls.

    Bengalis have taken advantage of the education available here.

    I think the educated ones get married quicker. Because they are seen as better candidates lol

    Every time someone asked about me, the first question would be whether I have a degree, then my profession, my height and skin colour.

    I'd understand if they asked about my job and education if I was a son, but a woman? with their Hindu cultural expectations of a daughter in law?

    Very annoying and it is still going strong so I agree with @sandsandman

    CVS are for everyone. All the Bengali do it and some people make it a competition when it shouldn't be.
    There is some arrogance noticeable especially when people compare their child to yours 'my daughter is doing a masters degree'

    That's when I get OUT of the kitchen and save myself before my mum tells me this is what men look for.

    Best thing to do is to get married to someone on your level, education wise, looks wise, wealth wise etc religion wise too, it helps you work together better.
    'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

    So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

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    Re: Marriage CVs what do you think of them?

    Quote Originally Posted by -qed- View Post
    Yeah but the people who are 'good catches' don't generally need to write a cv. They're known by people. So I guess cvs are for the ordinary folk? So the average guy stands a good chance in the cv scheme, unlike what you're saying.
    It's actually the highly qualified professionals with the CVS
    'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

    So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

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    Re: Marriage CVs what do you think of them?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ghuraba321 View Post
    @-qed-

    I want to marry a simple lady without All this degree nonsense, just as long as she is clever

    In my experience, so many with degrees are just too advanced and some can have an air of arrogance about them

    It is so off putting

    I like the humble, simple and clever lady
    If she's clever she'll screw you over



    Seriously, there are sisters out there without a degree too but you have to keep your words, some single people change their preferences as they get older so you might find a girl with a degree is more suitable for you
    'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

    So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

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    Re: Marriage CVs what do you think of them?

    Quote Originally Posted by -qed- View Post
    Yeah but the people who are 'good catches' don't generally need to write a cv. They're known by people. So I guess cvs are for the ordinary folk? So the average guy stands a good chance in the cv scheme, unlike what you're saying.
    i pretty much agree with this
    Surah Taha, Verse 69:

    وَأَلْقِ مَا فِي يَمِينِكَ تَلْقَفْ مَا صَنَعُوا إِنَّمَا صَنَعُوا كَيْدُ سَاحِرٍ وَلَا يُفْلِحُ السَّاحِرُ حَيْثُ أَتَىٰ

    "And throw that which is in your right hand! It will swallow up that which they have made. That which they have made is only a magician's trick,
    and the magician will never be successful, no matter whatever amount (of skill) he may attain."

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    Re: Marriage CVs what do you think of them?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ghuraba321 View Post
    Some of these girls are too much

    They are too advanced

    They are alimahs and have secular degrees to top it off too

    Given that women tend to marry guys who are more educated or equally educated, these girls will have a tough time getting married unless they make some compromises
    Why is that? Are there more educated women than men? If so, what is the reason for that imbalance?

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    Marriage CVs what do you think of them?

    @Juwairiyyah

    Yes, i believe there are definitely more educated women than men

    The stats for number of females vs number of males attending university speaks for itself

    Maybe education favours girls? I dont know. Also some boys like stuff like plumbing, electrician, gas engineer, accounting, construction etc. which dont really require degrees

    Some bois are more practical and hands-on. They dont want to sit in a classroom

    And lots of girls study a wider range of subjects. From hair and beauty studies to chemistry, whatever they fancy.

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    Marriage CVs what do you think of them?

    Too many people have quoted me

    Sorry for not responding yet guys :’(

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    Re: Marriage CVs what do you think of them?

    Quote Originally Posted by -qed- View Post
    Yeah but the people who are 'good catches' don't generally need to write a cv. They're known by people. So I guess cvs are for the ordinary folk? So the average guy stands a good chance in the cv scheme, unlike what you're saying.
    Ok look I need to address the sentiment that if they're educated they won't need marriage cvs. Trust me most of the marriage cvs I've seen are from people who have not just 1 but 2 degrees and are from generally speaking upper middle class families. The notion that just because they're educated and somewhat successful doesn't mean they can't struggle. Think about the muslims who aren't near major muslim population centres (small town american/canada/UK) and don't have enough decent prospects to choose from or any at all. My cousin got a proposal from a 3rd year resident in small town quebec. How many muslims girls do you think he had to choose from to begin with before he could even narrow down the field? On average the educated and successful will struggle much less than everyone else but they can still struggle depending on various factors.

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    Re: Marriage CVs what do you think of them?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ghuraba321 View Post
    @Juwairiyyah

    Yes, i believe there are definitely more educated women than men

    The stats for number of females vs number of males attending university speaks for itself

    Maybe education favours girls? I dont know. Also some boys like stuff like plumbing, electrician, gas engineer, accounting, construction etc. which dont really require degrees

    Some bois are more practical and hands-on. They dont want to sit in a classroom

    And lots of girls study a wider range of subjects. From hair and beauty studies to chemistry, whatever they fancy.
    Lol sorry for quoting you but yes the education imbalance favours girls in general. More girls (not just muslims) go to university and are generally in white collar (office work) professions. Some of you are right that these girls aren't going to marry the muslim construction worker etc. Guys don't marry down education wise in general, even I want someone with a degree at least. Girls definitely don't. It makes things harder for the average brother.

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    Re: Marriage CVs what do you think of them?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ya'sin View Post
    It's actually the highly qualified professionals with the CVS
    That doesn't make sense to me. The two biggest things guys are judged by for marriage is their job and their height, with job>>>height. Guys with good jobs in my experience get snapped up.
    Quote Originally Posted by Simply_Logical View Post
    i pretty much agree with this
    I think it's because their culture is different. Gujis basically get word around by mouth like they know someone, who knows someone, who knows someone's son, who is a doctor. They then meet. Or when you're at a someone else's wedding and a potential's mother thinks you're attractive and so they talk to your mum and try and find out about you whilst advertising their own son.
    (You're basically guji now, but do memons do this too?)
    Quote Originally Posted by s86ahmed View Post
    Ok look I need to address the sentiment that if they're educated they won't need marriage cvs. Trust me most of the marriage cvs I've seen are from people who have not just 1 but 2 degrees and are from generally speaking upper middle class families. The notion that just because they're educated and somewhat successful doesn't mean they can't struggle. Think about the muslims who aren't near major muslim population centres (small town american/canada/UK) and don't have enough decent prospects to choose from or any at all. My cousin got a proposal from a 3rd year resident in small town quebec. How many muslims girls do you think he had to choose from to begin with before he could even narrow down the field? On average the educated and successful will struggle much less than everyone else but they can still struggle depending on various factors.
    I can understand in the US/Canada. In the UK you are never far enough away that it makes sense.
    Unless your family has never attended any social events, if you are ok looking, of an ok height, with a good job, people would know about you.
    Ya Rab! When you give me wealth, do not take away my happiness. When you give me strength, do not take away my intelligence. When you give me victory, do not take away my humility. When you give me humility, do not take away my dignity.

  37. #116
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    Re: Marriage CVs what do you think of them?

    Quote Originally Posted by -qed- View Post
    That doesn't make sense to me. The two biggest things guys are judged by for marriage is their job and their height, with job>>>height. Guys with good jobs in my experience get snapped up.

    I think it's because their culture is different. Gujis basically get word around by mouth like they know someone, who knows someone, who knows someone's son, who is a doctor. They then meet. Or when you're at a someone else's wedding and a potential's mother thinks you're attractive and so they talk to your mum and try and find out about you whilst advertising their own son.
    (You're basically guji now, but do memons do this too?)

    I can understand in the US/Canada. In the UK you are never far enough away that it makes sense.
    Unless your family has never attended any social events, if you are ok looking, of an ok height, with a good job, people would know about you.
    yea memons do the same too, gujis and memons are very similar
    Surah Taha, Verse 69:

    وَأَلْقِ مَا فِي يَمِينِكَ تَلْقَفْ مَا صَنَعُوا إِنَّمَا صَنَعُوا كَيْدُ سَاحِرٍ وَلَا يُفْلِحُ السَّاحِرُ حَيْثُ أَتَىٰ

    "And throw that which is in your right hand! It will swallow up that which they have made. That which they have made is only a magician's trick,
    and the magician will never be successful, no matter whatever amount (of skill) he may attain."

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    Re: Marriage CVs what do you think of them?

    Quote Originally Posted by Simply_Logical View Post
    yea memons do the same too, gujis and memons are very similar
    Nah don't lie. What's that thing they call biryani?
    Ya Rab! When you give me wealth, do not take away my happiness. When you give me strength, do not take away my intelligence. When you give me victory, do not take away my humility. When you give me humility, do not take away my dignity.

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    Re: Marriage CVs what do you think of them?

    Quote Originally Posted by -qed- View Post
    Nah don't lie. What's that thing they call biryani?
    you mean pillaw?
    Surah Taha, Verse 69:

    وَأَلْقِ مَا فِي يَمِينِكَ تَلْقَفْ مَا صَنَعُوا إِنَّمَا صَنَعُوا كَيْدُ سَاحِرٍ وَلَا يُفْلِحُ السَّاحِرُ حَيْثُ أَتَىٰ

    "And throw that which is in your right hand! It will swallow up that which they have made. That which they have made is only a magician's trick,
    and the magician will never be successful, no matter whatever amount (of skill) he may attain."

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  40. #119
    ⚔♔ Warrior ♔⚔ -qed-'s Avatar
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    Re: Marriage CVs what do you think of them?

    Quote Originally Posted by Simply_Logical View Post
    you mean pillaw?
    No I mean akni. Ok it's not thaaat bad, but when someone says biryani and then gives you akni
    Ya Rab! When you give me wealth, do not take away my happiness. When you give me strength, do not take away my intelligence. When you give me victory, do not take away my humility. When you give me humility, do not take away my dignity.

  41. #120
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    Re: Marriage CVs what do you think of them?

    Quote Originally Posted by -qed- View Post
    No I mean akni. Ok it's not thaaat bad, but when someone says biryani and then gives you akni
    ohh you mean akni lol
    Surah Taha, Verse 69:

    وَأَلْقِ مَا فِي يَمِينِكَ تَلْقَفْ مَا صَنَعُوا إِنَّمَا صَنَعُوا كَيْدُ سَاحِرٍ وَلَا يُفْلِحُ السَّاحِرُ حَيْثُ أَتَىٰ

    "And throw that which is in your right hand! It will swallow up that which they have made. That which they have made is only a magician's trick,
    and the magician will never be successful, no matter whatever amount (of skill) he may attain."

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