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  1. #1
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    Could I get some advice please

    I have been wanting to convert to Islam for the past year and a half or so. I have visited my local mosque to learn more about Islam quite a few times I have been wanting to wear hijab and possibly niqab. I have also been trying to learn Arabic. Now here's where my situation arises. I'm not sure how my extended family feels about me wearing the hijab or niqab. I have an email account where I am wearing a niqab because that is what I would like to start wearing. I am currently not wearing either the hijab or niqab in public because I haven't worked myself up to it. I am taking Arabic lessons from my teacher because I would like to convert. I never told her I wanted to convert. So when she tried to send me some links about some new sayings she saw my profle pic in noqab, and she questioned it. I felt embarrassed like I was not being honest and so I told her it wasn't me when it was me. I know I should have been truthful and just told her I have been wanting to convert. What do I do? I feel humiliated right now.

  2. #2
    islamreligion.com eesa the kiwi's Avatar
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    Re: Could I get some advice please

    Just convert sister. InshaAllah it will be a huge weight off your chest and you'll feel so much better

    Do you know how to say the shahadah (testimony of faith one says to enter Islam)?
    It may not be easy, you may not understand it, but you need to have the Imaan to trust Allah when life doesn't make sense.
    "Whoever intends eternal happiness, then let him hold tight to the threshold of servitude.” ibn Taymiyyah.

  3. #3
    Senior Member MuslimThinker's Avatar
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    Re: Could I get some advice please

    Quote Originally Posted by reverttoIslam11 View Post
    I have been wanting to convert to Islam for the past year and a half or so. I have visited my local mosque to learn more about Islam quite a few times I have been wanting to wear hijab and possibly niqab. I have also been trying to learn Arabic. Now here's where my situation arises. I'm not sure how my extended family feels about me wearing the hijab or niqab. I have an email account where I am wearing a niqab because that is what I would like to start wearing. I am currently not wearing either the hijab or niqab in public because I haven't worked myself up to it. I am taking Arabic lessons from my teacher because I would like to convert. I never told her I wanted to convert. So when she tried to send me some links about some new sayings she saw my profle pic in noqab, and she questioned it. I felt embarrassed like I was not being honest and so I told her it wasn't me when it was me. I know I should have been truthful and just told her I have been wanting to convert. What do I do? I feel humiliated right now.
    Alhamdulilah, good to know you are considering Islam.
    Feel free to ask around, there are people who can help you with your questions.
    Now looking at your situation, you have asked the question whereby how your family feels about you wearing the hijab.
    I think this is a matter of perception. You are worried about how others may look at you etc. And the reaction involved.
    Now I believe this is normal as per reverts. They all have gone through the same thing. How you are going to tackle this, you have to look at your situation carefully and plan out the necessary steps.

    , you just need to put a step in, and Allah Swt: will guide the way. (These were the words of the sharings that my good friend in real life shared with me)
    So don't despair.
    Nonetheless , the challenges are there. But the challenges are there to make you stronger. So don't worry, get support as much as you can.

    Niqab and hijab-wise. i advise you to concentrate on the hijab first if you are not comfortable with the niqab.

    To me, it depends on the teacher. If he/she is the sort that doesn't take apologies, then its better not to. (or always have the wrong idea of things)
    Otherwise, just be straight upfront and approach her again and that try to explain. Keyword explain. Explain why that you didnt mention in the first place that its you in the picture.
    The second part to that conversation is where you can mention your intention to convert to Islam. Then let the conversation flow.

    All the best.

  4. #4
    Odan talibilm09's Avatar
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    Re: Could I get some advice please

    Peace & greetings to those who seek guidance, Sister

    When you say shahadha and enter islam all your past sins are forgiven , We are humans and commit errors unintentionally or intentionally. Allah is all forgiving and we should do sincere repentance for our mistakes and not to commit again which is called taubatun nasuha. hope your teacher is a Muslim right ? if she asks again , just say your feelings that made you deny previously. i think its not a very serious matter as we err sometimes in haste and i think you will never be asked about it, again inshallah

    here is a link that might help you to do the first steps in Islam in post # 6

    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...d-informations
    My sect - No Sect

    My Aqeedah - http://legacy.quran.com/112 ( The Aqeedah of Sahabas)

    Just a Muslim

  5. #5
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    Re: Could I get some advice please

    As Salaamu Alaykum sister,

    I have been/still am in your situation- except I took the shahada and converted as soon as I was sure islam was what I believed in. I then started learning the prayer and hijab etc afterwards. feel free to PM if you would like.

    Its very good that you have already started to learn Arabic etc but with regards to your situation if you believe islam say the shahada and be honest with at least other muslim's of your beliefs even if you are not yet ready to tell non Muslim's. no one will judge you except positively Insha'Allah the sisters will be very happy to support you.

    when I took the shahada (I did it alone with the help of an online support site for people thinking of reverting/reverts as I had spent a lot of time asking them things to clarify the religion-they also sent out some information books afterwards). After that I contacted the masjid that I had visited a year before on a college trip and explained I had converted and they welcomed me to a "discover islam week" -it was a university masjid. I went and the sisters were so welcoming and friendly. They also gave me a prayer mat and prayer dress and a scarf as a gift. After that I regularly went to the masjid and met up with the sisters. I didn't tell my family anything about it- well my father knew and wasn't bothered which is why I told him!. I started Arabic classes and alhamduillah that sister had just started wearing the niqab to the disapproval of her family. Honestly I still don't know Arabic very well as soon after she married and moved to Saudi and then I married and moved away and lost my support network- we never got past the alphabet in the leasons.

    Anyway it really was a great support something I wish I still had but my situation has now changed making it difficult. I would say if you are worried about how your family will take it first find support and practice islam for yourself. Its true that the company you keep have an affect on the way you see things. my anxiety was a lot less with that support of likeminded people Alhamdulillah and then you can focus on increasing knowledge and practice. first just accepting islam will be the first big step then you can focus on the basics and increase with it inshaAllah.

  6. #6
    Odan
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    Re: Could I get some advice please

    Salam alekum wa rahmatullah wa barakeetuh dear sister,

    Alhamdulillah, that you are wanting to take shahadah. You don't have to know Islam/Arabic/Quran inside out before taking shahadah. Our religion is journey we'll learn each and every day more, In sha Allah. Say shahadah and you can start your life as a muslimah. And carry on learning on Islam/Arabic/Quran.

    Ma sha'Allah, that you are aspiring to wear niqab. What a beautiful form of worship it is. Dear sister, I don't know where you are living or you family, but I would advice you to start wearing 1st hijab and building from there.
    I wear niqab, so I know what kind of world is out there. Just thinking your best. I don't want that you go 0 to 100 and come down collapsing, worst thing is that maybe you want to leave what you found. Due to pressure, what people outside will give you. I just want to protect you and make it easier for you, In sha Allah.

  7. #7
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    Re: Could I get some advice please

    Quote Originally Posted by reverttoIslam11 View Post
    I have been wanting to convert to Islam for the past year and a half or so. I have visited my local mosque to learn more about Islam quite a few times I have been wanting to wear hijab and possibly niqab. I have also been trying to learn Arabic. Now here's where my situation arises. I'm not sure how my extended family feels about me wearing the hijab or niqab. I have an email account where I am wearing a niqab because that is what I would like to start wearing. I am currently not wearing either the hijab or niqab in public because I haven't worked myself up to it. I am taking Arabic lessons from my teacher because I would like to convert. I never told her I wanted to convert. So when she tried to send me some links about some new sayings she saw my profle pic in noqab, and she questioned it. I felt embarrassed like I was not being honest and so I told her it wasn't me when it was me. I know I should have been truthful and just told her I have been wanting to convert. What do I do? I feel humiliated right now.
    My moms side of the family is not muslim and I know that in the beginning they didn't understand why my mom converted and I know that there are still times when they get a little confused but all in all they are very supportive. I think that you need to explain to your family why you want to convert and how islam makes you feel. The way muslims look in the media these days is not great and that might make your family against it. But you just need to explain the religion and your feelings towards it and that your not going to turn rogue when you convert (some people think that its a very violent religion). Start off wearing the hijab and then when your family is used to that and are okay with it then start wearing the niqab if that is what you want. I know that not all family members are supportive but you just need to explain to them that this is what you want. I have a friend who converted whose family and friends turned away from her in the beginning. It took a while but they came around. and now they are all very close and very happy.

  8. #8
    Are you thankful ? Spartakos's Avatar
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    Re: Could I get some advice please

    @reverttoIslam11 i think your family wont be happy about it but dont rush and tell them Hey i am now muslim, they will go crazy and think u joined some bad group or something (thats what happeend to me and my friends) Dont worry about hijab or niqab YET, study Islam and learn to pray, after that Allah will guide you and your family will love you with the actions you do bring to them religion is not about others, its just about YOU and your DECISION and you dont have to tell to anybody anything.. just LIVE it and enjoy it... If you start questioning,wondering,thinking what to do it might not happen at all, best thing ever: TRY IT / GO FOR IT then u will feel better, and people who won't like it you will keep being yourself to them and dont let them change ur mind its all about You and only you between Allah. Now to concvert go to mosque and learn shahadah and ask imam etc to help ya.

    salam to you
    My cooking Youtube channel:
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  9. #9
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    Re: Could I get some advice please

    Greetings of peace, sister

    Gives me great pleasure to hear another good person on this planet is converting to Islam and being saved from hellfire. I'm not good at giving dawah so it feels even more refreshing to see others acing on it and people benefitting from it. I did not use to take the deen seriously before (Alhamdulillah those days are gone) and during the transition I felt exactly what you are feeling now. In one day I went from listening to drum and bass (never listened to music with filthy lyrics) to Qur'an and people were like is this guy sick lol. We are not in control of our fate, Allah Subhana wa ta3la is therefore the fact that you have a sudden urge to become a muslim should be welcomed wholeheartedly. However, just because you are ready to embrace Islam doesn't mean your family is ready to see you on a different religion. Therefore you must take care to gradually ease into it to reduce the chances of being in a situation like you described.

    Also, there are steps in getting closer to Allah subhana wa ta3la, through multiple fields, and you may tire yourself out by choosing the most advanced step in a field eg body cover such as the niqab (only hijab is fard, from what I understand) and accidentally ignore other important steps because you have exhausted all your energy on one step. Of course the more a lady covers from non mahram men the more Allah subhana wa ta3la loves her but that doesn't mean He doesn't love someone who doesn't cover appropriately but fulfills the fard anyways.

    May Allah subhana wa ta3la bless you with a smooth hiccup free transition, ameen.

    Quote Originally Posted by reverttoIslam11 View Post
    I have been wanting to convert to Islam for the past year and a half or so. I have visited my local mosque to learn more about Islam quite a few times I have been wanting to wear hijab and possibly niqab. I have also been trying to learn Arabic. Now here's where my situation arises. I'm not sure how my extended family feels about me wearing the hijab or niqab. I have an email account where I am wearing a niqab because that is what I would like to start wearing. I am currently not wearing either the hijab or niqab in public because I haven't worked myself up to it. I am taking Arabic lessons from my teacher because I would like to convert. I never told her I wanted to convert. So when she tried to send me some links about some new sayings she saw my profle pic in noqab, and she questioned it. I felt embarrassed like I was not being honest and so I told her it wasn't me when it was me. I know I should have been truthful and just told her I have been wanting to convert. What do I do? I feel humiliated right now.
    Ask yourself why you were created. Do not let society distract you from seeking the truth.
    Sahih International, 63:3 (Surah Al-Munafiqun)
    That is because they believed, and then they disbelieved; so their hearts were sealed over, and they do not understand.

 

 

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