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Parenting is a skill, it needs to be learned, continuously.
It takes humility, knowledge, input,
compassion, patience, and then some more learning.

Reactive responses and guilt tripping your children is just too easy and lazy.

I'm nearly 50 and have brought up my children through very difficult circumstances.

My thoughts.

Let children be children, good parenting doesn't just mean giving them money ,then sending them out.
True great parenting is to spend quality time with them, even with awkward and moody teenagers .They are your moody teenagers!
Take them to the countryside, for walks, shopping.Eat together sit together at least once a day.

Ask them about college, school etc.
Have a weekly family meeting where they can even criticize your parenting without any fear.
Listen to them .Don't be toxic manipulating parents.
Listen to their concerns and be patient with their difficult questions.

Don't always be telling them "I'm your father, I'm your mother", they already know that. How about saying "you are my child, so talk to me"

Teenage is a tough time, you were there once too, remember?
Be understanding of how the world has changed and that you must also adapt too.
Your children have it tough so be the support and parent they need.
Don't put the fear of god or hell in them .
Teach them the love of God and the love of mankind.
Love them and they will learn love .

If you emotionally manipulate them and make them feel worthless and small you will be destroying your own child.
THEN YOU ARE STUPID. Completely!

Dads, spend time with your daughters too not just your sons.
Don't be ashamed to go shopping and for walks with them.
Your daughters have rights over you, many rights.

Remember there will be a day when they will leave you. To be with their husband,
So value your time and opportunities with them.

Great parenting takes time and energy and thought too.

If they don't want to sit with you, ask yourself why.
If they don't want to eat with you, ask yourself why.

Be honest about your failings and mistakes too, as a parent