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  1. #1
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    A confused brother (regarding goals for marriage)

    Assalamu alaikum warahmatullah wabarakatu
    Bismillahir rahmaanir rahiim.

    This is going to be a strange post but I've found myself in an unique set of circumstances. So here it goes.

    Is it wrong of me to seek someone who is more pious than me? Well whats wrong with seeking a pious bride you may ask!
    I come from a religious family, living in one of the most Islamic countries in the world, if not the most. I've lived in the west and have quite a liberal mind Yet I constantly feel I'm surrounded by munafiqs (hypocrite) and khawarij (exiters, people who read Qur'an, prays all salaah yet doesn't understand the Qur'an & deen)

    My family believes I can be happy married to someone less pious as long as I can make her more pious after marriage but I want someone who is already more pious than me and will bring me closer to Allah (swt) through marriage. I have already tried speaking to a few under permissible circumstances to help them understand the deen but it seems impossible to eradicate 20+ years way of corrupted thinking by a few hours talk on what RasulAllah (saws) and the salaaf recommended in order to explain the Qur'an. Should I lower my standards and hope my future wifey will become more pious from observing me? I'm no where near perfect but I never dare question the will of Allah (swt) coz I consider that as shirk. I am aware of Qadr, I'm just curious if my point of view is correct ie to wait rather than change my goals. I'm also aware of the criterias used in seeking a
    potential bride.

    JazakumAllah khair
    Ask yourself why you were created. Do not let society distract you from seeking the truth.
    Sahih International, 63:3 (Surah Al-Munafiqun)
    That is because they believed, and then they disbelieved; so their hearts were sealed over, and they do not understand.

  2. #41
    Odan
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    Re: A confused brother (regarding goals for marriage)

    Quote Originally Posted by Dr. Blitz View Post
    Assalamu alaikum warahmatullah wabarakatu
    Bismillahir rahmaanir rahiim.

    This is going to be a strange post but I've found myself in an unique set of circumstances. So here it goes.

    Is it wrong of me to seek someone who is more pious than me? Well whats wrong with seeking a pious bride you may ask!
    I come from a religious family, living in one of the most Islamic countries in the world, if not the most. I've lived in the west and have quite a liberal mind Yet I constantly feel I'm surrounded by munafiqs (hypocrite) and khawarij (exiters, people who read Qur'an, prays all salaah yet doesn't understand the Qur'an & deen)

    My family believes I can be happy married to someone less pious as long as I can make her more pious after marriage but I want someone who is already more pious than me and will bring me closer to Allah (swt) through marriage. I have already tried speaking to a few under permissible circumstances to help them understand the deen but it seems impossible to eradicate 20+ years way of corrupted thinking by a few hours talk on what RasulAllah (saws) and the salaaf recommended in order to explain the Qur'an. Should I lower my standards and hope my future wifey will become more pious from observing me? I'm no where near perfect but I never dare question the will of Allah (swt) coz I consider that as shirk. I am aware of Qadr, I'm just curious if my point of view is correct ie to wait rather than change my goals. I'm also aware of the criterias used in seeking a
    potential bride.

    JazakumAllah khair
    Never marry someone with the hope and expectation of changing them.

    Marry someone on the same level as you or better In Shaa Allaah.

  3. #42

    Account Disabled

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    Re: A confused brother (regarding goals for marriage)

    Well, as long as you are okay with being told you are wrong... by all means.

  4. #43
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    Re: A confused brother (regarding goals for marriage)

    How? Just because I'm wrong doesn't mean the other person is right.

    Quote Originally Posted by In my Opinion View Post
    Well, as long as you are okay with being told you are wrong... by all means.
    Ask yourself why you were created. Do not let society distract you from seeking the truth.
    Sahih International, 63:3 (Surah Al-Munafiqun)
    That is because they believed, and then they disbelieved; so their hearts were sealed over, and they do not understand.

  5. #44
    Abu-Tawheed Saif-Uddin's Avatar
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    Re: A confused brother (regarding goals for marriage)

    Quote Originally Posted by In my Opinion View Post
    Well, as long as you are okay with being told you are wrong... by all means.
    Not you again,

    A Muslim is supposed to be open to correction, only a Jahil with ego problem isn't
    Last edited by Saif-Uddin; 16-09-17 at 06:58 PM.
    http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

    "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

    – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

 

 

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