Hello & Welcome to our community. Is this your first visit? Register
Ads by Muslim Ad Network


Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 41 to 80 of 117
  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Gender
    Girl Unspecified
    Posts
    40
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Quoted
    28 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    1

    Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    As-Salaamu Alaikum,

    I decided to make my own thread, I tried to post in anonymous section but it didn't show up after a day, so I registered

    Rather than post the problem in another person's thread I thought it is important to make my own so maybe someone can give advice related to the thread.

    I will try to keep this short in sha Allah

    There is a girl who is a revert of 4 years alhamdulillah, she was very interested in Islam, read the stories of the Prophets, read the Qur'an in English, learnt dua'as, 99 names of Allah with its meaning, had her own YouTube channel to post video reminders Allahumma barek laha. She was on the deen and wanted to wear the Niqab when she was able to. Gave up pork, music, social media (facebook) etc etc.

    Her family are non-Muslims and her parents are divorced, when she told them about her being a Muslim, they hated her for it and wished she was a lesbian rather than a Muslim (you can imagine her environment and can imagine her dissapointment)

    She struggled as the years went past as her friends let her down, her mum puts pressure on her regarding education/driving/work etc and sometimes tells her "what a crap daughter she is" no matter what good she does. She has no friends apart from me looking out for her but I am several hours drive away so it is hard to see each other especially with our busy schedules.

    Anyway, just this past month or so, she has totally given up on everything, she stopped doing any YouTube videos, she doesn't do anything Islamic anymore, she wants to be alone, she hates her work, having to drive to work, basically hates everything and feels anger which she never felt before.

    I tried to be there for her and showed her support but she refuses any help and feels I shouldn't waste my time on her and she keeps pushing me away.

    She started to listen to music in her car as she says she hates silence and started to watch "TV" which she gave up before, I ofcourse advised her against it but she refuses to listen to me.

    To be honest all of this feeling of hate and resentment started when she made a facebook account again she made it so that she can leave feedback for her passing her driving test for her instructor, however she uploaded a picture of herself and since then I feel personally she has gone worse.

    I could be wrong but I do believe she does need ruqyah, I tried to let her listen to Qur'an but she complained of her head hurting and wanted me to stop. I told her we need to do this daily so whatever she has going on in her head can get weaker and weaker with the permission of Allah but she refuses to do it and insist that I leave her to be alone.

    I have tried almost everything, I sent her some flowers on Eid, I offered support and an ear whenever she needed it but her answers would always be negative

    I told her that I will be making a thread and I will show her this thread after the responses I receive, so maybe she can see advice from other people who do care for her, she is still our Muslim sister and as an ummah we are here for each other.

  2. #41
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Gender
    Girl Unspecified
    Posts
    40
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Quoted
    28 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    1

    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Today she did say that she wants to get whatever is inside of her out and then when it is, she wants to do things on her own. She said she relied on me too much and that she needs to focus on herself and do things on her own. So she is already thinking of breaking our friendship, I did question her on this saying "so regardless of you getting better or no, you just want to be on your own" She said she doesn't know and that she is confused.

    I didn't really understand that as she has been doing things on her own anway as we live far away, we did use to Skype and do Islamic stuff and talk about all our problems etc where we could talk for hours and she was definitely happier than compared to now, she even used to say before "oh I wish you lived closer to me, so we could go for tea and hang out" as she used to envy other women who would do that.

    To be honest, I really don't understand this situation and her reasoning in wanting to do things on her own and just be alone, Allah knows best

  3. #42
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    65
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Quoted
    31 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    2

    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by seekingadvice12 View Post
    Today she did say that she wants to get whatever is inside of her out and then when it is, she wants to do things on her own. She said she relied on me too much and that she needs to focus on herself and do things on her own. So she is already thinking of breaking our friendship, I did question her on this saying "so regardless of you getting better or no, you just want to be on your own" She said she doesn't know and that she is confused.

    I didn't really understand that as she has been doing things on her own anway as we live far away, we did use to Skype and do Islamic stuff and talk about all our problems etc where we could talk for hours and she was definitely happier than compared to now, she even used to say before "oh I wish you lived closer to me, so we could go for tea and hang out" as she used to envy other women who would do that.

    To be honest, I really don't understand this situation and her reasoning in wanting to do things on her own and just be alone, Allah knows best
    Let her come out of this miserable phase and inshallah, she will want to hang out with you more. right now she is not receptive to anything that will make her feel good or move towards Allah swt. Company of muslims, talking about God or any goodness will not interest her. Once she starts to see with her own eyes and not with the clouding of shaytan she will be different inshallah. keep making dua, Allah swt will help her.

  4. #43
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Gender
    Girl Unspecified
    Posts
    40
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Quoted
    28 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    1

    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by neemhakeem View Post
    Let her come out of this miserable phase and inshallah, she will want to hang out with you more. right now she is not receptive to anything that will make her feel good or move towards Allah swt. Company of muslims, talking about God or any goodness will not interest her. Once she starts to see with her own eyes and not with the clouding of shaytan she will be different inshallah. keep making dua, Allah swt will help her.
    Thank You Sister, and may Allah bless you with goodness (Ameen). Yep you are absoulately right, non of that interest her at the moment, I will remain patient and continue to help her, may Allah give me strength as sometimes she does get angry when we talk especially when we talk about her situation, I do pull back from the conversation and leave, then a few minutes later she will reply "sorry I just can't help it". Off course I tell her that I don't blame her etc.

  5. #44
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    65
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Quoted
    31 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    2

    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by seekingadvice12 View Post
    Thank You Sister, and may Allah bless you with goodness (Ameen). Yep you are absoulately right, non of that interest her at the moment, I will remain patient and continue to help her, may Allah give me strength as sometimes she does get angry when we talk especially when we talk about her situation, I do pull back from the conversation and leave, then a few minutes later she will reply "sorry I just can't help it". Off course I tell her that I don't blame her etc.
    JZK dear. I pray that Allah swt give you patience and help you in helping this poor girl. Always remember that when she is mad at you it's not her, it;s the shayateen. That's the goal of shaytaan to make her feel miserable and guilty.

    A good sign is that she does apologize and feels bad about it. so she has lucid intervals....and the rest of her day probably is a mixture of feeling regretful, sad, lonely, hating herself/others and despaired that Allah will not forgive her or love her. She will also feel that everyone is her enemy including her parents and siblings and you of course.

    Keep telling her that you love her as her sister in islam, that you will never leave her no matter what happens and that you will support her in any way she needs.

    Stay strong you can do it!

  6. #45

    Account Disabled

    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    1,405
    Mentioned
    55 Post(s)
    Quoted
    849 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    0

    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by neemhakeem View Post
    JZK dear. I pray that Allah swt give you patience and help you in helping this poor girl. Always remember that when she is mad at you it's not her, it;s the shayateen. That's the goal of shaytaan to make her feel miserable and guilty.

    A good sign is that she does apologize and feels bad about it. so she has lucid intervals....and the rest of her day probably is a mixture of feeling regretful, sad, lonely, hating herself/others and despaired that Allah will not forgive her or love her. She will also feel that everyone is her enemy including her parents and siblings and you of course.

    Keep telling her that you love her as her sister in islam, that you will never leave her no matter what happens and that you will support her in any way she needs.

    Stay strong you can do it!
    This exactly what I was going to say on the situation.

    Please don't take her being angry or any verbal attacks on you personally.

  7. #46
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Gender
    Girl Unspecified
    Posts
    40
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Quoted
    28 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    1

    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by neemhakeem View Post
    JZK dear. I pray that Allah swt give you patience and help you in helping this poor girl. Always remember that when she is mad at you it's not her, it;s the shayateen. That's the goal of shaytaan to make her feel miserable and guilty.

    A good sign is that she does apologize and feels bad about it. so she has lucid intervals....and the rest of her day probably is a mixture of feeling regretful, sad, lonely, hating herself/others and despaired that Allah will not forgive her or love her. She will also feel that everyone is her enemy including her parents and siblings and you of course.

    Keep telling her that you love her as her sister in islam, that you will never leave her no matter what happens and that you will support her in any way she needs.

    Stay strong you can do it!
    Ameen, yeah I do always try to remember that. And yeah I am pretty sure she is feeling all of those things which is why it is strange to reject someone who actually cares for her, but again as everyone mentioned it could be shaytaan doing his tricks to make her hate everything and everyone

    Better news is that just tonight she listened to 15 minutes of recitation, and Surah Baqarah verse 102 had a big affect on her, I played it whilst watching her and she complained about her head hurting and she ended up crying whilst listening.

    I did tell her after we finished listening that she did really well and advised her what could be happening to her (how the shaytaan hates the words of Allah and how he is wanting you to not listen) I also reminded her that you need to be firm in belief that Allah can cure you and also to try and keep this up daily even on her own, to also try and keep away from any sins that she may be doing. I am not sure if she will listen but I will send her the mp3 anyway in sha Allah

    May Allah bless everyone who replied and advised me on this situation, it is really helpful wallahi

  8. #47
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    98
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Quoted
    38 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    8

    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by seekingadvice12 View Post
    Ameen, yeah I do always try to remember that. And yeah I am pretty sure she is feeling all of those things which is why it is strange to reject someone who actually cares for her, but again as everyone mentioned it could be shaytaan doing his tricks to make her hate everything and everyone

    Better news is that just tonight she listened to 15 minutes of recitation, and Surah Baqarah verse 102 had a big affect on her, I played it whilst watching her and she complained about her head hurting and she ended up crying whilst listening.

    I did tell her after we finished listening that she did really well and advised her what could be happening to her (how the shaytaan hates the words of Allah and how he is wanting you to not listen) I also reminded her that you need to be firm in belief that Allah can cure you and also to try and keep this up daily even on her own, to also try and keep away from any sins that she may be doing. I am not sure if she will listen but I will send her the mp3 anyway in sha Allah

    May Allah bless everyone who replied and advised me on this situation, it is really helpful wallahi
    Alhamdulillah she decided to listen to Surah Al Baqarah and already in 15 minutes of it, healing by Allah's words started.

    In Hadith Qudsi, Allah said, if His slave comes to Him walking, He will go to His slave faster/running.

    InshaAllah she will listen to Al Baqarah every day and more healing/cure will happen by Allah's words. If she can listen to Al Imran every day too, inshaAllah she will heal faster

    I will keep her and people like her in my dua
    It was narrated from Jabir bin 'Abdullah that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: "O people, fear Allah and be moderate in seeking a living, for no soul will die until it has received all its provision, even if it is slow in coming. So fear Allah and be moderate in seeking provision; take that which is permissible and leave that which is forbidden. " Sunan Ibn Majah

  9. #48
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    65
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Quoted
    31 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    2

    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by seekingadvice12 View Post
    Ameen, yeah I do always try to remember that. And yeah I am pretty sure she is feeling all of those things which is why it is strange to reject someone who actually cares for her, but again as everyone mentioned it could be shaytaan doing his tricks to make her hate everything and everyone

    Better news is that just tonight she listened to 15 minutes of recitation, and Surah Baqarah verse 102 had a big affect on her, I played it whilst watching her and she complained about her head hurting and she ended up crying whilst listening.

    I did tell her after we finished listening that she did really well and advised her what could be happening to her (how the shaytaan hates the words of Allah and how he is wanting you to not listen) I also reminded her that you need to be firm in belief that Allah can cure you and also to try and keep this up daily even on her own, to also try and keep away from any sins that she may be doing. I am not sure if she will listen but I will send her the mp3 anyway in sha Allah

    May Allah bless everyone who replied and advised me on this situation, it is really helpful wallahi
    Mashallah that is huge! 15 minutes is quite long. Just fyi, she will have ups and downs. When people start the treatment with ruqya they feel sick, headaches, anxiety, severe stress and body aches even. These are all signs of the shayateen getting hurt by the words of the Quran. They will try to attack and make her feel that listening is actually worsening her symptoms. Tell her this. But with continued sessions the pain will decrease inshallah. Tell her to keep going at it and not be afraid.

    You are both in my prayers. Stay strong

  10. #49

    Account Disabled

    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    1,405
    Mentioned
    55 Post(s)
    Quoted
    849 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    0

    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by seekingadvice12 View Post
    Ameen, yeah I do always try to remember that. And yeah I am pretty sure she is feeling all of those things which is why it is strange to reject someone who actually cares for her, but again as everyone mentioned it could be shaytaan doing his tricks to make her hate everything and everyone

    Better news is that just tonight she listened to 15 minutes of recitation, and Surah Baqarah verse 102 had a big affect on her, I played it whilst watching her and she complained about her head hurting and she ended up crying whilst listening.

    I did tell her after we finished listening that she did really well and advised her what could be happening to her (how the shaytaan hates the words of Allah and how he is wanting you to not listen) I also reminded her that you need to be firm in belief that Allah can cure you and also to try and keep this up daily even on her own, to also try and keep away from any sins that she may be doing. I am not sure if she will listen but I will send her the mp3 anyway in sha Allah

    May Allah bless everyone who replied and advised me on this situation, it is really helpful wallahi
    Alhamdulillah! this should be the confirmation that you were on the right track and your hunch about her situation was correct.

    Continue in this vein,don't try to overdo the ruqya at first,as she becomes stronger she will able to listen for longer
    it would be good if she can get up to the point where she can listen to an hours worth of ruqya a day with headphones on.

    If you can speak with her regularly that would be good. It would be beneficial if you could do ruqyah with her on a regular,weekly basis at least but more often is better.
    Continue being as supportive and patient as you have been and the process will go much smoother for her.

    since this was caught early and not allowed to progress to far the prognosis is excellent.
    Two things I suggest is morning and evening adhkarr,3 quls(Ikhlas,falaq,nas) and ayat al kursi as well as reciting these before bed,blowing into the hands and wiping the body.
    If she only knows them in english that is fine,it's the intention that's important.

    May Allah awj reward you for being concerned and so caring towards your sister!
    May Allah awj give her shifa,ameen

  11. #50
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    65
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Quoted
    31 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    2

    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Samsandman View Post
    Alhamdulillah! this should be the confirmation that you were on the right track and your hunch about her situation was correct.

    Continue in this vein,don't try to overdo the ruqya at first,as she becomes stronger she will able to listen for longer
    it would be good if she can get up to the point where she can listen to an hours worth of ruqya a day with headphones on.

    If you can speak with her regularly that would be good. It would be beneficial if you could do ruqyah with her on a regular,weekly basis at least but more often is better.
    Continue being as supportive and patient as you have been and the process will go much smoother for her.

    since this was caught early and not allowed to progress to far the prognosis is excellent.
    Two things I suggest is morning and evening adhkarr,3 quls(Ikhlas,falaq,nas) and ayat al kursi as well as reciting these before bed,blowing into the hands and wiping the body.
    If she only knows them in english that is fine,it's the intention that's important.

    May Allah awj reward you for being concerned and so caring towards your sister!
    May Allah awj give her shifa,ameen
    This was so concise.

    I have seen many reverts leave islam because of the isolation they suffer due to the muslim community. It is all awesome when someone takes a shahada at the masjid but once that's done very few families come forward to mentor or take them in. Then they suffer the misery of being rejected by their families. They don't get invited for iftars, eid or to family get togethers. Believe me I have suffered isolation as a muslim immigrant, so how bad must it be for these poor souls? Eating eid dinner at a restaurant, no place to go and nothing good to do. Sad times. So I am not surprised that her ramadan sucked and her iman levels dropped post-ramadan. Perfect timing for the devil to strike. I am surprised she's still hanging in there.

    On the positive side, keeping in touch is the biggest factor that will keep this person grounded. So she will inshallah pull through thanks to her awesome friend!

    Praying for her and her dear friend

  12. #51

    Account Disabled

    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    1,405
    Mentioned
    55 Post(s)
    Quoted
    849 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    0

    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    The Isolation and loneliness can be overwhelming. The sense of alienation as well.

    I've seen a few brothers come and go. The ones that don't drop out of Islam completely usually turn to extremism in belief like becoming sufis or join ISIS.

    For sisters the situation is similar also harder as they don't prayer in congregation and they also have the the predatory munafiqeen offering them marriage 5 minutes after they take shahada.
    Brothers tend to drop out where as sisters are prone to very abusive relationships.

    Sisters are also prone to more discrimination and abuse from the kuffar as they wear hijab and that makes them more of a visible target. I just look like your average white guy with a ZZ Top beard and short pants. I don't "look" muslim to most people except when I wear a kufi and thobe,

    My heart goes out to revert sisters as I do think they have it tougher than new brothers. I Pray that Allah awj keeps them steadfast in the deen and increases their reward for enduring the hardships.

  13. #52
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    65
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Quoted
    31 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    2

    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Samsandman View Post
    The Isolation and loneliness can be overwhelming. The sense of alienation as well.

    I've seen a few brothers come and go. The ones that don't drop out of Islam completely usually turn to extremism in belief like becoming sufis or join ISIS.

    For sisters the situation is similar also harder as they don't prayer in congregation and they also have the the predatory munafiqeen offering them marriage 5 minutes after they take shahada.
    Brothers tend to drop out where as sisters are prone to very abusive relationships.

    Sisters are also prone to more discrimination and abuse from the kuffar as they wear hijab and that makes them more of a visible target. I just look like your average white guy with a ZZ Top beard and short pants. I don't "look" muslim to most people except when I wear a kufi and thobe,

    My heart goes out to revert sisters as I do think they have it tougher than new brothers. I Pray that Allah awj keeps them steadfast in the deen and increases their reward for enduring the hardships.


    Alienation and isolation is something me and my husband have experienced first hand as 1st gen immigrants, and believe it or not at the hands of fellow immigrants. So the racism, the discrimination is at many levels, single guys don't get invited, single sisters don't get invited because they are fitnah, certain kind of families are not welcome and so on, I mean it is just a sad state of affairs the ummah is in. Yes, sisters get targeted more because of their appearance, and some folks blend in better because of their appearance but we all are tested in different ways and may Allah swt make it easy for all of us. I knew about a brother who was an identical twin and reverted, he was formerly hindu and he used to hide from his family because he was financially dependent on them. They used to beat him, since one of his university friends said salam to his twin mistakenly, sometimes subhanallah the family is the biggest oppressor.. There are so many similar stories....another thread another time may be

    This is exactly why it is so important to take care of these issues by involving the entire community. our masjid used to have community iftars for single people and it was like our second home. a lot of families would show up too. but eid was not good. You brought back so many memories.....

    Stay blessed..

  14. #53
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Gender
    Girl Unspecified
    Posts
    40
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Quoted
    28 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    1

    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    May Allah bless you all for taking the time to give your advice and experiences, for you to be kind and give me words of encouragements

    Reading some of the stories from you both have made me feel for this sister even more to a point where I just want her to live with me so I can show her what being a Muslim is really about and for me to take care of her as any righteous Muslim would want to.

    She is a lovely person who has had bad friends treat her bad, apart from me she really has no friends and I do feel sad for her as she is a lovely human being even before her reversion to Islam, she wasn't this typical white English girl who used to date, smoke, drink or anything like that, she was very much grounded no matter how much her own mum used to tell her to "check out this guy, oh he looks nice" "oh why dont you wear this short dress" She remained firm as she wasn't like that, this is what attracted her to Islam as she loved the segregation and rules about free-mixing, dangers of alcohol, smoking etc etc.

    I will continue to support her as wallahi she is worth all the trouble, it doesn't even seem trouble for me, I am just sad to see her like this and I know Allah can change her heart back to him.

    She is still grieving over her grandmother's death and on top of all this it must be overwhelming. I didn't do Ruqyah with her on Friday and Saturday as she was at her father's and she doesn't get internet access in her room, and yesterday she said she was tired so in sha Allah today we can do ruqyah together.

    I will keep you guys informed in how it goes.

  15. #54
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    65
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Quoted
    31 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    2

    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by seekingadvice12 View Post
    May Allah bless you all for taking the time to give your advice and experiences, for you to be kind and give me words of encouragements

    Reading some of the stories from you both have made me feel for this sister even more to a point where I just want her to live with me so I can show her what being a Muslim is really about and for me to take care of her as any righteous Muslim would want to.

    She is a lovely person who has had bad friends treat her bad, apart from me she really has no friends and I do feel sad for her as she is a lovely human being even before her reversion to Islam, she wasn't this typical white English girl who used to date, smoke, drink or anything like that, she was very much grounded no matter how much her own mum used to tell her to "check out this guy, oh he looks nice" "oh why dont you wear this short dress" She remained firm as she wasn't like that, this is what attracted her to Islam as she loved the segregation and rules about free-mixing, dangers of alcohol, smoking etc etc.

    I will continue to support her as wallahi she is worth all the trouble, it doesn't even seem trouble for me, I am just sad to see her like this and I know Allah can change her heart back to him.

    She is still grieving over her grandmother's death and on top of all this it must be overwhelming. I didn't do Ruqyah with her on Friday and Saturday as she was at her father's and she doesn't get internet access in her room, and yesterday she said she was tired so in sha Allah today we can do ruqyah together.

    I will keep you guys informed in how it goes.
    I was thinking of you yesterday and here you are!

    Well I had a friend who reverted to islam and her story was so inpirational. She was born into an atheist family that totally disallowed any religious activity in the house. Not even christmas, but she had such a clean fitrah that nothing was able to corrupt it. she used to make dua every night since she was a little girl that if there is a god out there please guide me to the true religion, and one day in college she met muslims and when she attended an iftar at their home she realized that this was her calling.

    So your friend is one of those people whose fitrah remained pure despite all the filth around us. There are born muslims who do not have this.

    Stay blessed and good job on helping your friend wish i was near you and could help you out in any way. Do refer to whyislam website if you need any help with dawah or helping out a new muslim. it has lots of resources

    Stay strong!!

  16. #55
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Gender
    Girl Unspecified
    Posts
    40
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Quoted
    28 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    1

    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by neemhakeem View Post
    I was thinking of you yesterday and here you are!

    Well I had a friend who reverted to islam and her story was so inpirational. She was born into an atheist family that totally disallowed any religious activity in the house. Not even christmas, but she had such a clean fitrah that nothing was able to corrupt it. she used to make dua every night since she was a little girl that if there is a god out there please guide me to the true religion, and one day in college she met muslims and when she attended an iftar at their home she realized that this was her calling.

    So your friend is one of those people whose fitrah remained pure despite all the filth around us. There are born muslims who do not have this.

    Stay blessed and good job on helping your friend wish i was near you and could help you out in any way. Do refer to whyislam website if you need any help with dawah or helping out a new muslim. it has lots of resources

    Stay strong!!
    Alhamdulillah a very inspiring story and baarakhAllahu feeki for the advice.

    On Monday she managed to listen to 20 mins of Ruqyah which mainly consisted of Surah Al-Fatiha 7 times, surah baqarah verse 102, ayat al kursi and the last 3 quls alhamdulillah. She seemed fine whilst listening to it, she did laugh for no apparent reason during it, and after we finished she did say she didn't know why she laughed and it didn't feel like her, I obviously kept giving her encouragements like she did really well for listening for that long and well done etc.

    Tuesday she was busy as her mum had some meeting and she was going to be home late and she said she would be tired (fair enough)

    Yesterday she said she was really tired but managed to listen to at least 5-10 mins of ruqyah, she did complain of her head hurting but yeah I didn't push her into anything.

    She did text message me a couple of times saying "thank you for helping me, I do appreciate it even if I don't show it" which I am hoping it is true (hoping she is willing to get better in sha Allah)

    Today in sha Allah I hope to do ruqyah with her again. I also sent her an MP3 on Tuesday as she couldn't make it on that day, so I said try to listen on your own even for 5 mins, but not sure if she listened and again I didn't want to ask as it may seem pushy.

    May Allah guide her and cure her along with us all (Ameen)

  17. #56

    Account Disabled

    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    1,405
    Mentioned
    55 Post(s)
    Quoted
    849 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    0

    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    alhamdulillah,It's good that she is continuing and even a small amount of ruqyah of 10-20 minutes a day is good,Count the victories even if they seem small!

    When she messaged you and thanked you that was her true personality coming through and when she shows disinterest then remember that is the shaytan effecting her.

    ameen to your dua

  18. #57
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    118
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Quoted
    75 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    2

    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by seekingadvice12 View Post
    Alhamdulillah a very inspiring story and baarakhAllahu feeki for the advice.

    On Monday she managed to listen to 20 mins of Ruqyah which mainly consisted of Surah Al-Fatiha 7 times, surah baqarah verse 102, ayat al kursi and the last 3 quls alhamdulillah. She seemed fine whilst listening to it, she did laugh for no apparent reason during it, and after we finished she did say she didn't know why she laughed and it didn't feel like her, I obviously kept giving her encouragements like she did really well for listening for that long and well done etc.

    Tuesday she was busy as her mum had some meeting and she was going to be home late and she said she would be tired (fair enough)

    Yesterday she said she was really tired but managed to listen to at least 5-10 mins of ruqyah, she did complain of her head hurting but yeah I didn't push her into anything.

    She did text message me a couple of times saying "thank you for helping me, I do appreciate it even if I don't show it" which I am hoping it is true (hoping she is willing to get better in sha Allah)

    Today in sha Allah I hope to do ruqyah with her again. I also sent her an MP3 on Tuesday as she couldn't make it on that day, so I said try to listen on your own even for 5 mins, but not sure if she listened and again I didn't want to ask as it may seem pushy.

    May Allah guide her and cure her along with us all (Ameen)
    Thank you for the update: Please also show her this: http://legacy.quran.com/4/27-28

  19. #58
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Gender
    Girl Unspecified
    Posts
    40
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Quoted
    28 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    1

    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Thanks, will show her that but I already can presume her reaction which will be "thank you" and nothing else, and to me sometimes it can be meaningless as she could be saying that to be polite Allah knows best.

    She has mentioned she can't sleep well as she has been having terrible nightmares (people wanting to kill her), I did tell her to recite the dua'a and to say auozibillah

    We did a ruqyah session last night and she wasn't in the mood, alhamdulillah she did still listen but complained about her head hurting and wanting me to stop. But alhamdulillah she did listen to it for 15 minutes.

    She then apologised in the morning for her being grumpy last night, I said it is fine etc.

    Now I am starting to see this will be a long process as her as a person hasn't got the will to want to fight this, it does feel like she is doing this for my benefit, only Allah knows. I just pray that Allah shows her that only through him there will be healing, I want her to believe that as if she does believe it, then she would want to do as much ibadah as possible and I am sure with that, she would heal herself through Allah's mercy and cure.

    But again it is making her realise that which would prove most difficult.

  20. #59
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    98
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Quoted
    38 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    8

    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by seekingadvice12 View Post
    Thanks, will show her that but I already can presume her reaction which will be "thank you" and nothing else, and to me sometimes it can be meaningless as she could be saying that to be polite Allah knows best.

    She has mentioned she can't sleep well as she has been having terrible nightmares (people wanting to kill her), I did tell her to recite the dua'a and to say auozibillah

    We did a ruqyah session last night and she wasn't in the mood, alhamdulillah she did still listen but complained about her head hurting and wanting me to stop. But alhamdulillah she did listen to it for 15 minutes.

    She then apologised in the morning for her being grumpy last night, I said it is fine etc.

    Now I am starting to see this will be a long process as her as a person hasn't got the will to want to fight this, it does feel like she is doing this for my benefit, only Allah knows. I just pray that Allah shows her that only through him there will be healing, I want her to believe that as if she does believe it, then she would want to do as much ibadah as possible and I am sure with that, she would heal herself through Allah's mercy and cure.

    But again it is making her realise that which would prove most difficult.
    This is why I posted from the Quran (my first reply to this thread)

    Allah would not change a favor which He had bestowed upon a people until they change what is within themselves 8:53

    Allah has the final say, but it's equally important she makes the effort and not give up. It may take months or even years (yes there are people who are going through this for years).

    4:76 Those who believe, fight in the cause of Allah, and those who disbelieve fight in the cause of Taghut. So fight against the allies of Satan. Indeed, the plot of Satan has ever been weak.

    Satan is our enemy, muslims or not, all children of Adam AS are his enemies. Satan is not going to give up, his soldiers are not going to give up. So giving up is also not an option for her, for all believers, regardless we are afflicted or not.

    I was hoping that there is an Islamic community nearby, it does help to know that there is someone close she can talk to/ go to and can understand what she is going through.

    May Allah ease her suffering, keep her faith firm in Him and protect her from future affliction. May Allah reward you for your patience and supporting her in her struggle.
    Last edited by islamlife00; 25-09-17 at 09:03 PM. Reason: add
    It was narrated from Jabir bin 'Abdullah that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: "O people, fear Allah and be moderate in seeking a living, for no soul will die until it has received all its provision, even if it is slow in coming. So fear Allah and be moderate in seeking provision; take that which is permissible and leave that which is forbidden. " Sunan Ibn Majah

  21. #60
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Gender
    Girl Unspecified
    Posts
    40
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Quoted
    28 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    1

    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Allahumma Ameen

    The thing is, for some people well for her it is hard to just change especially if she feeling so depressed, as people with depression have no hope and they think everyone is against them.

    With no support from her mum, she is going deeper and deeper into sadness, and with no Islam around her or in her community again it is the same case. And for me to just say "You will only feel better if you change whats within yourself" you can imagine what she would feel, and yes I have already tried to say "you need to try to do this and do that and I promise with Allah's permission you will feel better" but she has completely given up hope and doesn't want to listen.

    I have already advised her to visit a doctor, which she has before and her councillor at the time wasn't any help, she mentioned her councillor would just stare at her and she hated it, and off course she can't afford a private one. I did also mention why don't you request another one, but again her reply is of lost hope.

    I said don't give up, you will guarantee feel better in time with Allah's help, just make dua'a to him etc etc. Again the replies are of lost hope.

    She seems suicidal to be honest even though I made her promise me not to do anything that may harm her, I believe she won't do anything but she is at that stage.

    I am actually going to visit her this week as I can't bare to just sit back. And I also plan to take with me some water that is recited over so in sha Allah that will have some benefit

    She is a lovely person, she is just going through hardships upon hardships and in sha Allah I will pray she gets through this and becomes a strong muslimah for the sake of Allah

  22. #61
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    98
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Quoted
    38 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    8

    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by seekingadvice12 View Post
    Allahumma Ameen

    The thing is, for some people well for her it is hard to just change especially if she feeling so depressed, as people with depression have no hope and they think everyone is against them.

    With no support from her mum, she is going deeper and deeper into sadness, and with no Islam around her or in her community again it is the same case. And for me to just say "You will only feel better if you change whats within yourself" you can imagine what she would feel, and yes I have already tried to say "you need to try to do this and do that and I promise with Allah's permission you will feel better" but she has completely given up hope and doesn't want to listen.

    I have already advised her to visit a doctor, which she has before and her councillor at the time wasn't any help, she mentioned her councillor would just stare at her and she hated it, and off course she can't afford a private one. I did also mention why don't you request another one, but again her reply is of lost hope.

    I said don't give up, you will guarantee feel better in time with Allah's help, just make dua'a to him etc etc. Again the replies are of lost hope.

    She seems suicidal to be honest even though I made her promise me not to do anything that may harm her, I believe she won't do anything but she is at that stage.

    I am actually going to visit her this week as I can't bare to just sit back. And I also plan to take with me some water that is recited over so in sha Allah that will have some benefit

    She is a lovely person, she is just going through hardships upon hardships and in sha Allah I will pray she gets through this and becomes a strong muslimah for the sake of Allah
    Most things take time, very few things can 'just' happen. Keep reminding her not to give up and make dua for her that Allah will keep her faith firm.

    Another thing an Islamic community nearby can help is if she ever needs to leave the toxic environment she is currently in, not to think the worst. May Allah help you both.

    Also be careful with ruqya video, ruqya audio or raqi. Sometimes they work with shayateen, using curse words almost undetectable. Shayateen will leave when they hear ruqya, making her feel better/cured, then shayateen returns with more shayateen. She will think she needs more ruqya, listen to more audio or pay more for raqi visits, but her condition will only get worse. Any doubt arises, stick with Quran recitation, she can recite herself or download from Quran.com.
    Last edited by islamlife00; 25-09-17 at 10:27 PM. Reason: add
    It was narrated from Jabir bin 'Abdullah that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: "O people, fear Allah and be moderate in seeking a living, for no soul will die until it has received all its provision, even if it is slow in coming. So fear Allah and be moderate in seeking provision; take that which is permissible and leave that which is forbidden. " Sunan Ibn Majah

  23. #62
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    65
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Quoted
    31 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    2

    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by seekingadvice12 View Post
    Allahumma Ameen

    The thing is, for some people well for her it is hard to just change especially if she feeling so depressed, as people with depression have no hope and they think everyone is against them.

    With no support from her mum, she is going deeper and deeper into sadness, and with no Islam around her or in her community again it is the same case. And for me to just say "You will only feel better if you change whats within yourself" you can imagine what she would feel, and yes I have already tried to say "you need to try to do this and do that and I promise with Allah's permission you will feel better" but she has completely given up hope and doesn't want to listen.

    I have already advised her to visit a doctor, which she has before and her councillor at the time wasn't any help, she mentioned her councillor would just stare at her and she hated it, and off course she can't afford a private one. I did also mention why don't you request another one, but again her reply is of lost hope.

    I said don't give up, you will guarantee feel better in time with Allah's help, just make dua'a to him etc etc. Again the replies are of lost hope.

    She seems suicidal to be honest even though I made her promise me not to do anything that may harm her, I believe she won't do anything but she is at that stage.

    I am actually going to visit her this week as I can't bare to just sit back. And I also plan to take with me some water that is recited over so in sha Allah that will have some benefit

    She is a lovely person, she is just going through hardships upon hardships and in sha Allah I will pray she gets through this and becomes a strong muslimah for the sake of Allah
    ASAK.

    Glad to see that you are continually helping this sister. May Allah swt help her and you and make this struggle a path to jannatul firdaus.

    As for her acute condition, medication might help her a lot. in fact, major depressive disorder needs medication, and ruqya. If you are already doing ruqya, then adding a medical treatment might help heal better. A lot of times it becomes a vicious cycle, despair->depression->>despair->>>depression...and so on. Something must be done to break this cycle. IF SHE IS SUICIDAL....then you must bring the doctors' attention to this. ask her if she(your friend) has been planning ways to commit suicide, for that is a red flag. Statistically, men are successful in their attempts, however women will attempt but might not be successful. However the trauma of doing such a thing is grave and takes survivors years to recover from the guilt, regret, despair that results.

    So I suggest take her to a doctor even if it means calling the medics and telling the counselor that she is thinking of suicide or her current symptoms. Is she eating well? how about sleep, aside from the nightmares. is she having trouble getting out of bed and is she interested in her normal routines?

    Take a detailed history and talk to her doc. Inshallah she will pull through.

    JZK for the update.

  24. #63
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Gender
    Girl Unspecified
    Posts
    40
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Quoted
    28 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    1

    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    [email protected] Yep I am aware it will take some time to heal and to feel better about yourself etc But yeah as I mentioned there is no Islamic community nearby to her and even if there was she wouldn't have time to visit, her life revolves around education, work, family (going to her father's at the weekends). She did once wanted to leave her mother's house and move into a "rough" area (as it was cheaper to live) but I advised her against it.

    I didn't realise that about ruqyah videos but we mainly listen to Mishary Al-Afasy (Surah Fatiha, Ayat al kursi, last 3 quls, surah baqarah verse 102)

    About her reciting herself or even listening by herself is a no no, she is no where near at that stage where should will listen to herself, I even sent her an audio to her phone and I know she hasn't listened to it. When she is sad she just listens to music, sadly

    I just get annoyed (to myself) as no matter how much I tell her that the Qur'an is healing and the music will make her feel worse, she just doesn't seem to listen. I know she is not thinking straight but she must realise this isn't helping her, it's been nearly 3 months.



    [email protected] Wa'Alaykumus Salaam sister, Ameen,

    Yes I have advised her to visit a doctor but she just doesn't want to do anything as she said she tried that and it didn't work, and at her college place the councillor she was seeing said to her "Book an appointment with me when you feel better" So basically she feels no one can help her, again I don't know why she doesn't listen to me or take my advice when I am actually looking out for her but yeah Allah knows best.

    Eating I believe she does eat well, sleeping I don't believe she sleeps well as she does complain about not sleeping very well and feeling tired etc.

    I will see her this weekend anyway in sha Allah, I do have little hope that I can change her condition but it is worth a try to see her face to face and make her feel that Allah is there waiting to forgive her and change her condition if he wills it. I did mention that when we do meet, I can lead you in Salah (as she hasnt been praying salah) but her reply was "we'll see" so you can imagine her condition right now that even prayer is the last thing she wants to do, may Allah help us all (Ameen)

  25. #64
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    98
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Quoted
    38 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    8

    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    I listen to Quran recitation by Mishary Al-Afasy also. All 114 surahs.

    Recommend to listen or recite. In the Qur'an Allah said by listening to the Quran recitation, she will receive Mercy. In the hadith it says by reciting, she will be rewarded each letter.

    Abu Umama said he heard Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) say:
    Recite the Qur'an, for on the Day of Resurrection it will come as an intercessor for those who recite It. Recite the two bright ones, al-Baqara and Surah Al 'Imran, for on the Day of Resurrection they will come as two clouds or two shades, or two flocks of birds in ranks, pleading for those who recite them. Recite Surah al-Baqara, for to take recourse to it is a blessing and to give it up is a cause of grief, and the magicians cannot confront it. (Mu'awiya said: It has been conveyed to me that here Batala means magicians.) (Sahih Muslim)

    There are other ayah for healing affliction, but Al Fatihah and 3 quls with the whole Al Baqarah and Ali Imran inshaAllah is a good start.
    also Al-Kahf first 10 ayah and dhikr lailahaillallah wahdahu la sharika lah.
    Al-Kahf first 10 ayah is mainly against Dajjal. but looking at the signs, Dajjal coming is close, hence shayateen and magicians are working hard preparing for his coming, luring/keeping as many believers away from Allah

    It was narrated from 'Abdur-Rahman bin Ghanm that Abu Malik Al-Ash'ari told him that the Messenger of Allah said:
    "Isbagh Al-Wudu is half of faith; Alhamdu lillah (praise be to Allah) fills the balance; the Tasbih and the Takbir fill the heavens and Earth; the Salah is light; the Zakah is a sign (of sincerity); patience is an illuminating torch; and the Qur'an is proof, either for you or against you." (Sunan An-Nasa'i)

    Narrated An-Nu’man bin Bashir:
    that the Prophet (ﷺ) said: “Indeed Allah wrote in a Book before He created the heavens and the earth, and He sent down two Ayat from it to end Surat Al-Baqarah with. If they are recited for three nights in a home, no Shaitan shall come near it.”‏. At Tirmidhi

    Narrated Abu Mas’ud Al-Ansari:
    that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: “Whoever recites the last two Ayat of Surat Al-Baqarah during the night, they shall suffice him.” At Tirmidhi

    Narrated Muhammad bin Sirin:
    Abu Huraira said, “Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) put me in charge of the Zakat of Ramadan. Someone came to me and started scooping some of the foodstuff of (Zakat) with both hands. I caught him and told him that I would take him to Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ).” Then Abu Huraira told the whole narration and added “The thief said, ‘Whenever you go to your bed, recite the Verse of “Al-Kursi” for then a guardian from Allah will be guarding you, and Satan will not approach you till dawn.’ ”
    On that the Prophet (ﷺ) said, “He told you the truth, though he is a liar, and he (the thief) himself was the satan.” *Sahih al-Bukhari

    Narrated Abu Huraira:
    Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said," Whoever says: "La ilaha illal-lah wahdahu la sharika lahu, lahu-l-mulk wa lahul- hamd wa huwa 'ala kulli shai'in qadir," one hundred times will get the same reward as given for manumitting ten slaves; and one hundred good deeds will be written in his accounts, and one hundred sins will be deducted from his accounts, and it (his saying) will be a shield for him from Satan on that day till night, and nobody will be able to do a better deed except the one who does more than he."Sahih al Bukhari

    Aishah narrated that:
    Every night, when the Prophet (ﷺ) would go to his bed, he would join his hands, then blow in them, as he recited in them: “Say: He is Allah, the One.” And “Say: I seek refuge in the Lord of Al-Falaq” and “Say: I seek refuge in the Lord of mankind.” Then he would wipe as much as he was able to of his body with them, beginning with them first of his head and face, and the front of his body. He would do this three times. (At-Tirmidhi)

    Narrated `Aisha:
    During the Prophet's fatal illness, he used to recite the Mu'auwidhat (Surat An-Nas and Surat Al- Falaq) and then blow his breath over his body. When his illness was aggravated, I used to recite those two Suras and blow my breath over him and make him rub his body with his own hand for its blessings." (Ma`mar asked Az-Zuhri: How did the Prophet (ﷺ) use to blow? Az-Zuhri said: He used to blow on his hands and then passed them over his face.) Sahih al Bukhari
    Last edited by islamlife00; 26-09-17 at 11:02 PM. Reason: add hadith
    It was narrated from Jabir bin 'Abdullah that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: "O people, fear Allah and be moderate in seeking a living, for no soul will die until it has received all its provision, even if it is slow in coming. So fear Allah and be moderate in seeking provision; take that which is permissible and leave that which is forbidden. " Sunan Ibn Majah

  26. #65
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    98
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Quoted
    38 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    8

    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by seekingadvice12 View Post
    [email protected] Yep I am aware it will take some time to heal and to feel better about yourself etc But yeah as I mentioned there is no Islamic community nearby to her and even if there was she wouldn't have time to visit, her life revolves around education, work, family (going to her father's at the weekends). She did once wanted to leave her mother's house and move into a "rough" area (as it was cheaper to live) but I advised her against it.
    I didn't realise that about ruqyah videos but we mainly listen to Mishary Al-Afasy (Surah Fatiha, Ayat al kursi, last 3 quls, surah baqarah verse 102)
    About her reciting herself or even listening by herself is a no no, she is no where near at that stage where should will listen to herself, I even sent her an audio to her phone and I know she hasn't listened to it. When she is sad she just listens to music, sadly
    I just get annoyed (to myself) as no matter how much I tell her that the Qur'an is healing and the music will make her feel worse, she just doesn't seem to listen. I know she is not thinking straight but she must realise this isn't helping her, it's been nearly 3 months.
    It makes sense you get annoyed. Try not to let it get to you because strong emotions may open way for shayateen to manipulate you. The above hadiths are beneficial for all of us, I do what I can every day as well.
    You have done so much for her. May Allah reward you InshaAllah everything you have done for a fellow believer.
    It was narrated from Jabir bin 'Abdullah that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: "O people, fear Allah and be moderate in seeking a living, for no soul will die until it has received all its provision, even if it is slow in coming. So fear Allah and be moderate in seeking provision; take that which is permissible and leave that which is forbidden. " Sunan Ibn Majah

  27. #66
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Gender
    Girl Unspecified
    Posts
    40
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Quoted
    28 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    1

    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by islamlife00 View Post
    It makes sense you get annoyed. Try not to let it get to you because strong emotions may open way for shayateen to manipulate you. The above hadiths are beneficial for all of us, I do what I can every day as well.
    You have done so much for her. May Allah reward you InshaAllah everything you have done for a fellow believer.
    Ameen, thanks for the advice, I do appreciate it. And yeah annoyance, confusion, sadness comes my way with this situation.

    We did speak some more yesterday and we came to the subject of her YouTube Channel (which she created an account around 2 years ago) and she was just adamant that she didn't want it anymore, I asked why? She just said that she doesn't want to be Islamic, she said she still believes in Allah but she doesn't want to be Islamic. Wallahi inside that broke my heart as you know how much I do care about this sister and for her to say that it's just like your own blood sister saying that to you, I was really upset but didn't want to show it, I was more or less tongue tied although did continue our conversation to a different subject.

    I also mentioned that she really needs to see a doctor to get past this illness, but she is on 3 different sets of tablets already and 1 of them is for acne which is a powerful drug that can cause further depression (as mentioned as a side effect), btw this tablet isn't the cause of this as she has just started taking it for a month now whereas her feelings of sadness has started 3 months ago. I am mentioning it as it may make her condition worse and Allah knows best.

    And yes I have already said to her something along these lines "I know you are going through a terrible time, I know life feels really hard and you have no hope but I am here to help you through this, we can get through this together, you can see a doctor which can really help and we can try get back to doing the basics of Islam, with those 2 hand in hand, I am convinced with the help of Allah you will get better".... She listened and acknowledge it but it wasn't a "sure lets do that" it was more of a "yea I hear what you're saying, thank you for helping but I'll be fine on my own"...

    So yeah you can imagine my frustration, annoyance, sadness as I am really trying, I know it is up to herself and Allah the most high for this condition to change within herself and I guess all I can do is keep trying and keep making dua'a... I actually hope she realises one day what I actually have done for her (not that I am looking for praise or omg you were so nice) I just hope she realises that this is what Muslims should be about, we treat each other as family, when we see a brother or sister struggling, we don't give up on them rather we help them just how we would our own blood family.

    May Allah give us all guidance and may he cure the people affected with any illnesses (Ameen)
    Last edited by seekingadvice12; 29-09-17 at 09:46 AM.

  28. #67
    Thunder and lightning european muslim's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    354
    Mentioned
    6 Post(s)
    Quoted
    223 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    12

    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by seekingadvice12 View Post
    Ameen, thanks for the advice, I do appreciate it. And yeah annoyance, confusion, sadness comes my way with this situation.

    We did speak some more yesterday and we came to the subject of her YouTube Channel (which she created an account around 2 years ago) and she was just adamant that she didn't want it anymore, I asked why? She just said that she doesn't want to be Islamic, she said she still believes in Allah but she doesn't want to be Islamic. Wallahi inside that broke my heart as you know how much I do care about this sister and for her to say that it's just like your own blood sister saying that to you, I was really upset but didn't want to show it, I was more or less tongue tied although did continue our conversation to a different subject.

    I also mentioned that she really needs to see a doctor to get past this illness, but she is on 3 different sets of tablets already and 1 of them is for acne which is a powerful drug that can cause further depression (as mentioned as a side effect), btw this tablet isn't the cause of this as she has just started taking it for a month now whereas her feelings of sadness has started 3 months ago. I am mentioning it as it may make her condition worse and Allah knows best.

    And yes I have already said to her something along these lines "I know you are going through a terrible time, I know life feels really hard and you have no hope but I am here to help you through this, we can get through this together, you can see a doctor which can really help and we can try get back to doing the basics of Islam, with those 2 hand in hand, I am convinced with the help of Allah you will get better".... She listened and acknowledge it but it wasn't a "sure lets do that" it was more of a "yea I hear what you're saying, thank you for helping but I'll be fine on my own"...

    So yeah you can imagine my frustration, annoyance, sadness as I am really trying, I know it is up to herself and Allah the most high for this condition to change within herself and I guess all I can do is keep trying and keep making dua'a... I actually hope she realises one day what I actually have done for her (not that I am looking for praise or omg you were so nice) I just hope she realises that this is what Muslims should be about, we treat each other as family, when we see a brother or sister struggling, we don't give up on them rather we help them just how we would our own blood family.

    May Allah give us all guidance and may he cure the people affected with any illnesses (Ameen)
    Salaam

    I hope allah guides your friend to his light.

    I hope she is not taking Accutane as this can totaly mess her up. (speaking from experience)
    And the thunder exalts [ Allah ] with praise of Him - and the angels [as well] from fear of Him - and He sends thunderbolts and strikes therewith whom He wills while they dispute about Allah ; and He is severe in assault

  29. #68
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Gender
    Girl Unspecified
    Posts
    40
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Quoted
    28 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    1

    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by european muslim View Post
    Salaam

    I hope allah guides your friend to his light.

    I hope she is not taking Accutane as this can totaly mess her up. (speaking from experience)
    Wa'Alaykumus Salam

    Ameen, The drug is called "isotretinoin" is that the same thing?

  30. #69
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    65
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Quoted
    31 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    2

    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by seekingadvice12 View Post
    Wa'Alaykumus Salam

    Ameen, The drug is called "isotretinoin" is that the same thing?
    Same drug

  31. #70
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    65
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Quoted
    31 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    2

    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by seekingadvice12 View Post
    [email protected] Yep I am aware it will take some time to heal and to feel better about yourself etc But yeah as I mentioned there is no Islamic community nearby to her and even if there was she wouldn't have time to visit, her life revolves around education, work, family (going to her father's at the weekends). She did once wanted to leave her mother's house and move into a "rough" area (as it was cheaper to live) but I advised her against it.

    I didn't realise that about ruqyah videos but we mainly listen to Mishary Al-Afasy (Surah Fatiha, Ayat al kursi, last 3 quls, surah baqarah verse 102)

    About her reciting herself or even listening by herself is a no no, she is no where near at that stage where should will listen to herself, I even sent her an audio to her phone and I know she hasn't listened to it. When she is sad she just listens to music, sadly

    I just get annoyed (to myself) as no matter how much I tell her that the Qur'an is healing and the music will make her feel worse, she just doesn't seem to listen. I know she is not thinking straight but she must realise this isn't helping her, it's been nearly 3 months.



    [email protected] Wa'Alaykumus Salaam sister, Ameen,

    Yes I have advised her to visit a doctor but she just doesn't want to do anything as she said she tried that and it didn't work, and at her college place the councillor she was seeing said to her "Book an appointment with me when you feel better" So basically she feels no one can help her, again I don't know why she doesn't listen to me or take my advice when I am actually looking out for her but yeah Allah knows best.

    Eating I believe she does eat well, sleeping I don't believe she sleeps well as she does complain about not sleeping very well and feeling tired etc.

    I will see her this weekend anyway in sha Allah, I do have little hope that I can change her condition but it is worth a try to see her face to face and make her feel that Allah is there waiting to forgive her and change her condition if he wills it. I did mention that when we do meet, I can lead you in Salah (as she hasnt been praying salah) but her reply was "we'll see" so you can imagine her condition right now that even prayer is the last thing she wants to do, may Allah help us all (Ameen)


    ASAK sister,

    JZK for the updates.

    You missed a vital question...suicidal ideation. Is she thinking of it? planning it? that kind of thoughts will speed up treatment dispension. yes isotretinoin can cause or worsen depression but it's one of the rare side effects so I would not stress on that too much, plus the timeline is not right for that to be the cause.

    Of course, continue to make dua for her, yourself and blow on her...stay with her emotionally and comfort her.

    Unfortunately music is like the call of the shaytaan. I know now, that it makes me feel worse.

    Do try to get her to a psychiatrist. Maybe a female, muslim psychiatrist, social worker or counselor in your area that can volunteer to talk to her as a friend? Any sisters in that area that might be able to help? Can you contact the local muslim community in your area to find someone?

    There used to be a mentor program at my masjid in California where people would help converts, sometimes in subtle ways and it would make a huge difference in their lives. Even in stealth mode....i know of couples that did not get divorced because the mentors were there to help. I am sure there must be some folks in your area as well.

    Keep us posted and as always stay strong.

    You can do this inshallah. Ameen.

  32. #71
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    98
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Quoted
    38 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    8

    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by seekingadvice12 View Post
    Ameen, thanks for the advice, I do appreciate it. And yeah annoyance, confusion, sadness comes my way with this situation.

    We did speak some more yesterday and we came to the subject of her YouTube Channel (which she created an account around 2 years ago) and she was just adamant that she didn't want it anymore, I asked why? She just said that she doesn't want to be Islamic, she said she still believes in Allah but she doesn't want to be Islamic. Wallahi inside that broke my heart as you know how much I do care about this sister and for her to say that it's just like your own blood sister saying that to you, I was really upset but didn't want to show it, I was more or less tongue tied although did continue our conversation to a different subject.

    I also mentioned that she really needs to see a doctor to get past this illness, but she is on 3 different sets of tablets already and 1 of them is for acne which is a powerful drug that can cause further depression (as mentioned as a side effect), btw this tablet isn't the cause of this as she has just started taking it for a month now whereas her feelings of sadness has started 3 months ago. I am mentioning it as it may make her condition worse and Allah knows best.

    And yes I have already said to her something along these lines "I know you are going through a terrible time, I know life feels really hard and you have no hope but I am here to help you through this, we can get through this together, you can see a doctor which can really help and we can try get back to doing the basics of Islam, with those 2 hand in hand, I am convinced with the help of Allah you will get better".... She listened and acknowledge it but it wasn't a "sure lets do that" it was more of a "yea I hear what you're saying, thank you for helping but I'll be fine on my own"...

    So yeah you can imagine my frustration, annoyance, sadness as I am really trying, I know it is up to herself and Allah the most high for this condition to change within herself and I guess all I can do is keep trying and keep making dua'a... I actually hope she realises one day what I actually have done for her (not that I am looking for praise or omg you were so nice) I just hope she realises that this is what Muslims should be about, we treat each other as family, when we see a brother or sister struggling, we don't give up on them rather we help them just how we would our own blood family.

    May Allah give us all guidance and may he cure the people affected with any illnesses (Ameen)
    Ameen to your dua. I can see you genuinely care, not for praises or anything. May Allah reward you for being there for her. Indeed as one Ummah we must stick together till the end. Shaytan and his followers, from jinn and mankind, will never give up trying to lead any of us astray. Our fight continues until last breath. I once read stories about shaytan playing tricks on muslims during sakratul maut. It's truly a fight till the end.

    May Allah guide her back to Him, because I'm afraid if she doesn't practice Islam, she will eventually lose faith altogether and shaytan will have more power over her. Already the waswas make her think someone is trying to kill her, losing sleep, prefer music than Qur'an, thinking of suicide/death Audhubillahiminashshaytanirrajeem who knows what's next. In this deen, only believing is not enough without practicing it.

    I take pharmaceutical medication if necessary, so I can't say much about it. Three different sets of tablets sound a lot to me already.
    You mentioned she is nowhere at the stage of reciting Quran herself, but inshaAllah she will still listen to recitation albeit rarely. The healing by Allah's words is nothing like I've ever experienced before.

    17:62 [Iblees] said, "Do You see this one (Adam AS) whom You have honored above me? If You delay me until the Day of Resurrection, I will surely destroy his descendants, except for a few."

    7:17 (Shaitan said to Allah) “Then I will come to them from before them and from behind them and on their right and on their left, and You will not find most of them grateful [to You]”

    14:22 And the Shaitan shall say after the matter is decided: Surely Allah promised you the promise of truth, and I gave you promises, then failed to keep them to you, and I had no authority over you, except that I called you and you obeyed me, therefore do not blame me but blame yourselves. I cannot be called to your aid, nor can you be called to my aid. Indeed, I deny your association of me [with Allah ] before. Indeed, for the wrongdoers is a painful punishment."
    It was narrated from Jabir bin 'Abdullah that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: "O people, fear Allah and be moderate in seeking a living, for no soul will die until it has received all its provision, even if it is slow in coming. So fear Allah and be moderate in seeking provision; take that which is permissible and leave that which is forbidden. " Sunan Ibn Majah

  33. #72
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    98
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Quoted
    38 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    8

    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Need to add, InshaAllah the water (Quran recited over) you brought her will help.
    I have been using Quran-recited water for over 6 months. I hardly ever use regular water anymore.
    It was narrated from Jabir bin 'Abdullah that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: "O people, fear Allah and be moderate in seeking a living, for no soul will die until it has received all its provision, even if it is slow in coming. So fear Allah and be moderate in seeking provision; take that which is permissible and leave that which is forbidden. " Sunan Ibn Majah

  34. #73
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    65
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Quoted
    31 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    2

    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by islamlife00 View Post
    Need to add, InshaAllah the water (Quran recited over) you brought her will help.
    I have been using Quran-recited water for over 6 months. I hardly ever use regular water anymore.
    ASAK,

    question about ruqyah water....you blow on a bucket or mix some in the bucket? And it's ok to let it go down the drain....I was watering my plants with it...but it's a lot of work..

  35. #74
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    98
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Quoted
    38 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    8

    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by neemhakeem View Post
    ASAK,

    question about ruqyah water....you blow on a bucket or mix some in the bucket? And it's ok to let it go down the drain....I was watering my plants with it...but it's a lot of work..
    I don't know ruqya water and its effect if you let it go down the drain. If ruqya water is actually Quran-recited water, then you can make it yourself. You just need to know which ayah specific to your situation.

    For the Quran-recited water, I have 2 main containers 3 L and 2L. I usually recite 70 - 100 ayah and split it between the two. They are not just ayah for affliction but also for other things and the Quran is so rich. There were some noticeable retaliations from shayateen, but after 2 months, nothing.

    If you have bigger container you can recite all the ayah you need and repeat as many times. You decide what you will use the water for and how much do you need.
    Last edited by islamlife00; 02-10-17 at 01:21 AM. Reason: add
    It was narrated from Jabir bin 'Abdullah that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: "O people, fear Allah and be moderate in seeking a living, for no soul will die until it has received all its provision, even if it is slow in coming. So fear Allah and be moderate in seeking provision; take that which is permissible and leave that which is forbidden. " Sunan Ibn Majah

  36. #75
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    65
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Quoted
    31 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    2

    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by islamlife00 View Post
    I don't know ruqya water and its effect if you let it go down the drain. If ruqya water is actually Quran-recited water, then you can make it yourself. You just need to know which ayah specific to your situation.

    For the Quran-recited water, I have 2 main containers 3 L and 2L. I usually recite 70 - 100 ayah and split it between the two. They are not just ayah for affliction but also for other things and the Quran is so rich. There were some noticeable retaliations from shayateen, but after 2 months, nothing.

    If you have bigger container you can recite all the ayah you need and repeat as many times. You decide what you will use the water for and how much do you need.


    JZK for your explanation sister.

    Ruqyah water is the same, water that has been read upon. I just had some confusion regarding letting it go down the drain. But I guess it's ok.

    Stay blessed.

  37. #76
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Gender
    Girl Unspecified
    Posts
    40
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Quoted
    28 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    1

    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    As-Salaamu Alaikum to all.

    Right here is the update: I went to see the sister over the weekend alhamdulillah, she seemed very happy when she was with me, like she seemed normal. I asked her about us keeping in touch and trying to do Qur'an recitation regularly but she closed up and didn't know how to feel, which is her main reaction with "I dont know". No matter how much I tell her I do love her for the sake of Allah, that I will always be by her side whenever she needs me to be, day or night she can message me etc etc, she acknowledges that I am being very nice and kind, but yeah that's all there is to it.

    I tried to give her goals to achieve like she wanted to lose weight, so I said set that as a goal, set a goal for wanting to read/listen to Qur'an recitations, set a goal for wanting to go over the basics of Islam, set a goal for seeing a doctor about depression etc etc. She replies with "okay, thank you" but again that's all there is to it and me personally don't know if she's actually setting these goals if you know what I mean.

    I have also mentioned several times about how I miss our close friendship, where we could talk for hours about anything and everything, she says she also misses it to but all she feels now is sadness and she feels no one deserves her friendship.

    Her mum the other day was again abusive to her (verbal abuse) like calling her a "cow" and that she is being "lazy" so that makes her even more sad.

    At college, no one sits next to her in class so again she feels sad thinking she must be horrible and that no one likes her.

    Again I have tried to counter this by saying, these girls are not worth your friendship if they can't see that you are alone and that maybe you need some company, she goes to a private girls college and all the she is surrounded with is girls who don't need to work and have all these latest gadgets whereas she struggles for money and all the hours she works is to pay back her dad for the car that he bought her, so she does feel envy towards them. Again I tried to counter this.

    At the moment she is not suicidal but sometimes she does say, oh why do I have to go to college (she had to do an extra year because she moved schools) so she is behind a year and she would say "somebody just kill me" I know that is a figure of speech for some people and I know she doesn't mean it as she promised me, Allah knows best.

    Also I showed her some of your comments on this forum, she did read it but didn't say much.

    I really don't know why she can't see that she has me and that I really care about her as my own blood sister, like why isn't that good enough, I mean I travelled 3-4 hours to her city just to see her. She enjoyed our time together but she still feels the same since I got back home, sad and depressed.

    I can't imagine what is going through her mind so I don't blame her, she is a wonderful sister mashaAllah , it's just I wish she could see that she has me.

    At the moment I don't know what else to do or how I could approach helping her as I have tried everything. May Allah help us all (Ameen)

  38. #77
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Gender
    Girl Unspecified
    Posts
    40
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Quoted
    28 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    1

    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Okay since I met her, she didn't really ask me if we can listen to Qur'an during the week and I didn't really push her into it. I did urge her to seek some medical help and she said she will try to get some help. Off course I did say keep up the ruqyah as Qur'an is a healing especially if you believe it is. She also doesn't really message me unless I ask her a question or tell her that she can do this

    What do I do now? Do I tell her, let's come on skype and listen to Qur'an or do I just let her come to me which most likely she wouldn't mention for us to listen to it.

    It is a difficult situation, I mean she appreciates me helping her and thanks me for it and she admits she doesn't feel herself but for me I need to see some action if you guys can get what I mean. Like I want her to say, right I need to book a doctors appointment, I need to get back to Qur'an etc, trying to get better. I know I am making it sound easy but just wish people actually believe Allah can cure you if you just have the faith no matter what hardships you/I may ever face. Allah is the greatest

  39. #78
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Gender
    Girl Unspecified
    Posts
    40
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Quoted
    28 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    1

    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Further update to this which is a sad one. She basically has blocked me on Telegram and asked me to leave her alone, she said my messages made her cry and that she feels so much guilt that I should leave her alone and that she needs to move on.

    My message was something like I do miss our friendship, I really miss my best friend and I know her real self is in there somewhere, I said that she should please visit a doctor who can help her with her issues of sadness and depression, I said I will come see you again very soon, that I will always be there for you and that I love you for the sake of Allah ... I guess I made a mistake in the message, but wallahi I only meant it to be positive, I guess I ruined it

    With her saying "goodbye" and then blocking me, broke my heart, friends don't come easy for me, I mean I have had friends leave me for other people so I always was/am insecure, but this sister was in a similar situation to me and showed me so much love wallahi, we clicked as our friends treated us the same around us... But yeah now she doesn't want anything to do with me also, so back to square one for me which makes me teary.

    I didn't do anything but support this sister, I don't have much money but I spent near £500 (travel, living costs) to visit her, I gave her gifts on eid so she don't feel left out, and I was always there for her no matter how little she used to message me or wanted to be left alone, I signed up to forums like this and another "depression" forum to find out more information. After all that she just blocks me, wallahi this makes me so sad that I just want to cry.

    SubhanAllah

  40. #79
    Odan Abu julaybeeb's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Gender
    Girl Unspecified
    Posts
    1,667
    Mentioned
    27 Post(s)
    Quoted
    901 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    56

    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Have sabr this is a test for you and her
    Give her some time and then try speak with her if she doesnt listen then try and go see her with or without tellin her
    Most likely she wants to stay friends with you she just feels guilty alongside depressiom and jinn shaytaan trying to make her shut down all opportunities of good
    Im sure inside she appreciates everything and wants to stay connected but like a lot of people do sometikes we say things we dont mean
    Have sabr

  41. #80

    Account Disabled

    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    1,405
    Mentioned
    55 Post(s)
    Quoted
    849 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    0

    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by seekingadvice12 View Post
    Further update to this which is a sad one. She basically has blocked me on Telegram and asked me to leave her alone, she said my messages made her cry and that she feels so much guilt that I should leave her alone and that she needs to move on.

    My message was something like I do miss our friendship, I really miss my best friend and I know her real self is in there somewhere, I said that she should please visit a doctor who can help her with her issues of sadness and depression, I said I will come see you again very soon, that I will always be there for you and that I love you for the sake of Allah ... I guess I made a mistake in the message, but wallahi I only meant it to be positive, I guess I ruined it

    With her saying "goodbye" and then blocking me, broke my heart, friends don't come easy for me, I mean I have had friends leave me for other people so I always was/am insecure, but this sister was in a similar situation to me and showed me so much love wallahi, we clicked as our friends treated us the same around us... But yeah now she doesn't want anything to do with me also, so back to square one for me which makes me teary.

    I didn't do anything but support this sister, I don't have much money but I spent near £500 (travel, living costs) to visit her, I gave her gifts on eid so she don't feel left out, and I was always there for her no matter how little she used to message me or wanted to be left alone, I signed up to forums like this and another "depression" forum to find out more information. After all that she just blocks me, wallahi this makes me so sad that I just want to cry.

    SubhanAllah
    I'm sorry to hear about this and how it is effecting you,May Allah awh sooth your heart.ameen

    Give her some time and maybe she will come around. Her having time to think may change her heart.

    Please stay strong and remember this is the work of shaytan so you should try not fault yourself as you did what you could with sincerity,May Allah awj reward you for your actions and keep you steadfast in the religion.ameen

    Sadly most reverts don't last more than 2 or 3 years in Islam as it is too difficult to change and shaytan hates when a person becomes a believer and targets them the most.

 

 

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
All times are GMT. The time now is 10:56 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.2
Copyright © 2017 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging v3.2.7 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2017 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
vBulletin Skin By: PurevB.com

MPADC.com Islamic Web Hosting | Muslim Ad Network | Islamic Nasheeds | Islamic Mobile App Developement Android & iPhone | Islamic Web Hosting : Muslim Designers : Labbayk Nasheeds : silk route jilbab: Hijab: : Web Islamic Newsletter: Islamic Web Hosting

Students of Arabic Forum | Hijab Shop