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    Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    As-Salaamu Alaikum,

    I decided to make my own thread, I tried to post in anonymous section but it didn't show up after a day, so I registered

    Rather than post the problem in another person's thread I thought it is important to make my own so maybe someone can give advice related to the thread.

    I will try to keep this short in sha Allah

    There is a girl who is a revert of 4 years alhamdulillah, she was very interested in Islam, read the stories of the Prophets, read the Qur'an in English, learnt dua'as, 99 names of Allah with its meaning, had her own YouTube channel to post video reminders Allahumma barek laha. She was on the deen and wanted to wear the Niqab when she was able to. Gave up pork, music, social media (facebook) etc etc.

    Her family are non-Muslims and her parents are divorced, when she told them about her being a Muslim, they hated her for it and wished she was a lesbian rather than a Muslim (you can imagine her environment and can imagine her dissapointment)

    She struggled as the years went past as her friends let her down, her mum puts pressure on her regarding education/driving/work etc and sometimes tells her "what a crap daughter she is" no matter what good she does. She has no friends apart from me looking out for her but I am several hours drive away so it is hard to see each other especially with our busy schedules.

    Anyway, just this past month or so, she has totally given up on everything, she stopped doing any YouTube videos, she doesn't do anything Islamic anymore, she wants to be alone, she hates her work, having to drive to work, basically hates everything and feels anger which she never felt before.

    I tried to be there for her and showed her support but she refuses any help and feels I shouldn't waste my time on her and she keeps pushing me away.

    She started to listen to music in her car as she says she hates silence and started to watch "TV" which she gave up before, I ofcourse advised her against it but she refuses to listen to me.

    To be honest all of this feeling of hate and resentment started when she made a facebook account again she made it so that she can leave feedback for her passing her driving test for her instructor, however she uploaded a picture of herself and since then I feel personally she has gone worse.

    I could be wrong but I do believe she does need ruqyah, I tried to let her listen to Qur'an but she complained of her head hurting and wanted me to stop. I told her we need to do this daily so whatever she has going on in her head can get weaker and weaker with the permission of Allah but she refuses to do it and insist that I leave her to be alone.

    I have tried almost everything, I sent her some flowers on Eid, I offered support and an ear whenever she needed it but her answers would always be negative

    I told her that I will be making a thread and I will show her this thread after the responses I receive, so maybe she can see advice from other people who do care for her, she is still our Muslim sister and as an ummah we are here for each other.

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    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Wow, she has sure been through a lot already and it must be hard to keep your faith alive in such a negative environment, specially with the hate from dear ones.

    I will definitely keep her in my duas. May Allah swt make this trial easy for her. She must be lonely and sad, but she should know that there are people here who care for her, and above all Allah swt loves her so much, she must be someone very special because she has been so brave in the face of all this adversity.

    Sometimes things have to get worse before they get better, it was like this in my case. So I am hopeful that she will come out of this phase as a stronger person. May Allah swt reward you and your friend immensely. Stay strong. sending love and duas.

  3. #3
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    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Assalamu aleikum.

    Things always get worse in the beginning because when you start ruqya treatment you are attacking the jinn and sihr.
    The jinn will try to stop you from continuing so they will make matters seem worse.
    You should persevere and keep reciting ruqya and the quran.

    The will become weaker because Allah tells us that the plot of the sjajtaan is weak.
    It is a matter of willpower, if you slack off and start sinning again the jinn will gain strenght.
    If you continue Allah will grant you victory.

    So hang on! and know that ruqya is a long term process usually.
    so it could take some time, but don't lose your patience because Allah is with the sabereen.(those who are patient)
    And the thunder exalts [ Allah ] with praise of Him - and the angels [as well] from fear of Him - and He sends thunderbolts and strikes therewith whom He wills while they dispute about Allah ; and He is severe in assault

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    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by european muslim View Post
    Assalamu aleikum.

    Things always get worse in the beginning because when you start ruqya treatment you are attacking the jinn and sihr.
    The jinn will try to stop you from continuing so they will make matters seem worse.
    You should persevere and keep reciting ruqya and the quran.

    The will become weaker because Allah tells us that the plot of the sjajtaan is weak.
    It is a matter of willpower, if you slack off and start sinning again the jinn will gain strenght.
    If you continue Allah will grant you victory.

    So hang on! and know that ruqya is a long term process usually.
    so it could take some time, but don't lose your patience because Allah is with the sabereen.(those who are patient)
    This answers many questions in my head. I guess slacking off is what I have done in the past. JZK

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    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by european muslim View Post
    Assalamu aleikum.

    Things always get worse in the beginning because when you start ruqya treatment you are attacking the jinn and sihr.
    The jinn will try to stop you from continuing so they will make matters seem worse.
    You should persevere and keep reciting ruqya and the quran.

    The will become weaker because Allah tells us that the plot of the sjajtaan is weak.
    It is a matter of willpower, if you slack off and start sinning again the jinn will gain strenght.
    If you continue Allah will grant you victory.

    So hang on! and know that ruqya is a long term process usually.
    so it could take some time, but don't lose your patience because Allah is with the sabereen.(those who are patient)

    Wa'Alaykumus Salaam,

    That is the problem I am having trying to convey to her, I said listening to Qur'an for Ruqya even for 5-10 minutes a day can help you a lot, she just makes excuses or says she doesn't want to or she's tired, I told her we could do this over Skype so I will be there but yeah again she refuses.

    Now this seems like torture to me wallahi as I helped her revert to Islam, off course Allah guided her but I was the "middle man" if that is the right word to say but I am sure you understand what I mean, she even wallahi saw the word Allah on the braches of a tree (the branches spelt out Allah in Arabic) near her work place, this boosted her Eman subhanAllah as it was her sign.

    But yeah, it is torture for me as I care for this girl like she is my own sister and to see her hate everything and everyone makes me feel helpless.

    I can tell her and I have told her to read her 5 daily salah, to read Qur'an, to seek forgiveness and repent but the problem is, if she can't bare to listen to 5 minutes of ruqyah over skype this is like impossible to her.

    All she wants to do is sleep, cry or sleep some more, oh and watch useless stuff on YouTube like "zoella" (yeah she mentioned that she watches her).

    I have tried to appeal to her that she needs to cut all of the bad if she wants to get better but again it is just refusal upon refusal. All I am doing now is trying everyday and seeking advice from people, I am supporting her, telling I am there for her etc etc but she just tells me "I feel it will be better if I am alone".

    And to be honest in my head I am like, why would you refuse someone who just wants to help you, who loves you, who cares for you, who is doing all this just so you can feel better again, like I would personally love someone doing that for me. But then I do ignore that as it seems like the jinn or sihr is making her think the way she is.

    How can I encourage her that listening to ruqyah can make her feel better?

    Also I have tried contacting a raqi but his fees were too much as he had to travel several hours to her (via car) and I personally couldn't afford £300+ for just 1 session and neither could she as she also supports her mum financially (not that I told her the fee). And I also doubt she would agree to seeing one. But I did ask the raqi if his wife can email her and maybe advise her (see if that helps), he agreed and so did she.

    Also her area is mostly non-Muslims so it is also hard for me to find someone close to her area.
    @neemhakeem

    Ameen ya rabbil alameen, thank you for your beautiful reply. Yes she does feel sad and lonely no matter how much I try to support her, which in turn it also makes me feel sad as I feel like I am not good enough to give her support, cause how can you still feel lonely when you have someone constantly trying to help and be there for you but yeah Allah knows best. Please keep her in your dua'a and pray she seeks guidance from Allah as he is ultimately the changer of hearts. Wallahi she is very special, it just painful that she refuses any help, I have been patient in giving her own space, at one point this past week (sunday) I thought I made a break-through as I said to her to just follow what I tell you to do then in sha Allah we will beat this together, she did reply with "okay I will listen to you, but not today, make it wednesday (yesterday)" I said fine sounds good, but then on Wednesday she messages me saying "I don't want to and to leave her be", so you can imagine my dissapointment and sadness as all I want to do is help this sister.

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    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by seekingadvice12 View Post
    As-Salaamu Alaikum,

    I decided to make my own thread, I tried to post in anonymous section but it didn't show up after a day, so I registered

    Rather than post the problem in another person's thread I thought it is important to make my own so maybe someone can give advice related to the thread.

    I will try to keep this short in sha Allah

    There is a girl who is a revert of 4 years alhamdulillah, she was very interested in Islam, read the stories of the Prophets, read the Qur'an in English, learnt dua'as, 99 names of Allah with its meaning, had her own YouTube channel to post video reminders Allahumma barek laha. She was on the deen and wanted to wear the Niqab when she was able to. Gave up pork, music, social media (facebook) etc etc.

    Her family are non-Muslims and her parents are divorced, when she told them about her being a Muslim, they hated her for it and wished she was a lesbian rather than a Muslim (you can imagine her environment and can imagine her dissapointment)

    She struggled as the years went past as her friends let her down, her mum puts pressure on her regarding education/driving/work etc and sometimes tells her "what a crap daughter she is" no matter what good she does. She has no friends apart from me looking out for her but I am several hours drive away so it is hard to see each other especially with our busy schedules.

    Anyway, just this past month or so, she has totally given up on everything, she stopped doing any YouTube videos, she doesn't do anything Islamic anymore, she wants to be alone, she hates her work, having to drive to work, basically hates everything and feels anger which she never felt before.

    I tried to be there for her and showed her support but she refuses any help and feels I shouldn't waste my time on her and she keeps pushing me away.

    She started to listen to music in her car as she says she hates silence and started to watch "TV" which she gave up before, I ofcourse advised her against it but she refuses to listen to me.

    To be honest all of this feeling of hate and resentment started when she made a facebook account again she made it so that she can leave feedback for her passing her driving test for her instructor, however she uploaded a picture of herself and since then I feel personally she has gone worse.

    I could be wrong but I do believe she does need ruqyah, I tried to let her listen to Qur'an but she complained of her head hurting and wanted me to stop. I told her we need to do this daily so whatever she has going on in her head can get weaker and weaker with the permission of Allah but she refuses to do it and insist that I leave her to be alone.

    I have tried almost everything, I sent her some flowers on Eid, I offered support and an ear whenever she needed it but her answers would always be negative

    I told her that I will be making a thread and I will show her this thread after the responses I receive, so maybe she can see advice from other people who do care for her, she is still our Muslim sister and as an ummah we are here for each other.
    It seems you have done your best. Since you live far, is there Islamic community closer to where she lives? If yes, maybe offer to take her there and make new friends, or at least give her the address and contact person she can talk to (when she decides to change, she may need to talk to someone)

    Allah would not change a favor which He had bestowed upon a people until they change what is within themselves 8:53
    It was narrated from Jabir bin 'Abdullah that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: "O people, fear Allah and be moderate in seeking a living, for no soul will die until it has received all its provision, even if it is slow in coming. So fear Allah and be moderate in seeking provision; take that which is permissible and leave that which is forbidden. " Sunan Ibn Majah

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    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Firstly, may Allah bless you for me being there for another Muslim. Your friend is depressed, may Allah guide her and all of us to the straight path. Based on what you said, I think she received a lot of hate from her family and her workplace. This is sadly the results of living in a non-Muslim society. Lastly, based on personal experience, I advice you to leave alone and give her time to reflect. Tell her to call you if she needs any help.

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    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Calender121438 View Post
    Firstly, may Allah bless you for me being there for another Muslim. Your friend is depressed, may Allah guide her and all of us to the straight path. Based on what you said, I think she received a lot of hate from her family and her workplace. This is sadly the results of living in a non-Muslim society. Lastly, based on personal experience, I advice you to leave alone and give her time to reflect. Tell her to call you if she needs any help.
    Indeed she could be subjected to hate and Hasad.

    وَدَّ كَثِيرٌ مِّنْ أَهْلِ الْكِتَابِ لَوْ يَرُدُّونَكُم مِّن بَعْدِ إِيمَانِكُمْ كُفَّارًا حَسَدًا مِّنْ عِندِ أَنفُسِهِم مِّن بَعْدِ مَا تَبَيَّنَ لَهُمُ الْحَقُّ فَاعْفُوا وَاصْفَحُوا حَتَّىٰ يَأْتِيَ اللَّهُ بِأَمْرِهِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَلَىٰ كُلِّ شَيْءٍ قَدِيرٌ
    And the thunder exalts [ Allah ] with praise of Him - and the angels [as well] from fear of Him - and He sends thunderbolts and strikes therewith whom He wills while they dispute about Allah ; and He is severe in assault

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    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Salam alaikum

    from what you have written and my own experience and understanding I would say yes this is a matter that requires ruqyah.

    From what you have I suspect that it is ayn hasad as sister european muslimah pointed to.

    My reasoning is as follows: she had a youtube channel and I'm assuming she showed her face and spoke into the camera. If someone who watched this had hasad then it would effect her even though the person did not come into direct contact with her as I've found(and heard from others) that a person can receive hasad thru a photograph.

    Islam can be very difficult for reverts and we face many challenges that born muslims do not face as we have no or little support network. May Allah awj reward you for your care and concern for her,ameen

    Please continue to encourage her and May Allah awj return her to the straight path and keep her steadfast in the religion,ameen

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    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Samsandman View Post
    Salam alaikum

    from what you have written and my own experience and understanding I would say yes this is a matter that requires ruqyah.

    From what you have I suspect that it is ayn hasad as sister european muslimah pointed to.

    My reasoning is as follows: she had a youtube channel and I'm assuming she showed her face and spoke into the camera. If someone who watched this had hasad then it would effect her even though the person did not come into direct contact with her as I've found(and heard from others) that a person can receive hasad thru a photograph.

    Islam can be very difficult for reverts and we face many challenges that born muslims do not face as we have no or little support network. May Allah awj reward you for your care and concern for her,ameen

    Please continue to encourage her and May Allah awj return her to the straight path and keep her steadfast in the religion,ameen
    I agree except for the fact that my name is not european muslimah and i am not a sister (how could you even misread that )
    And the thunder exalts [ Allah ] with praise of Him - and the angels [as well] from fear of Him - and He sends thunderbolts and strikes therewith whom He wills while they dispute about Allah ; and He is severe in assault

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    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Samsandman View Post
    Salam alaikum

    from what you have written and my own experience and understanding I would say yes this is a matter that requires ruqyah.

    From what you have I suspect that it is ayn hasad as sister european muslimah pointed to.

    My reasoning is as follows: she had a youtube channel and I'm assuming she showed her face and spoke into the camera. If someone who watched this had hasad then it would effect her even though the person did not come into direct contact with her as I've found(and heard from others) that a person can receive hasad thru a photograph.

    Islam can be very difficult for reverts and we face many challenges that born muslims do not face as we have no or little support network. May Allah awj reward you for your care and concern for her,ameen

    Please continue to encourage her and May Allah awj return her to the straight path and keep her steadfast in the religion,ameen
    May Allah bless you all for your advice.

    She didn't have a YouTube channel to show herself, but she had 1 so that she can spread Islam, so spreading English and Arabic lectures so people can benefit. She was really eager and keen to do it but now she has given up on it.

    I agree her environment is not the best and yes she has gotten a lot of hate from her family and I guess it did brake her. But what I don't understand is why she is refusing help from someone that actually cares for her.

    Now she just seems angry at everything and everyone (including me) hence why she wants me to leave her alone. And to be honest I have done so for 2 months or so in a sense I wouldn't message her much, but she still feels the same.

    She was never like this, her personality was actually very good mashaAllah but yeah something has changed in her and I pray Allah can cure her

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    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by european muslim View Post
    I agree except for the fact that my name is not european muslimah and i am not a sister (how could you even misread that )
    Sorry,My bad, I apologize.

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    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by seekingadvice12 View Post
    May Allah bless you all for your advice.

    She didn't have a YouTube channel to show herself, but she had 1 so that she can spread Islam, so spreading English and Arabic lectures so people can benefit. She was really eager and keen to do it but now she has given up on it.

    I agree her environment is not the best and yes she has gotten a lot of hate from her family and I guess it did brake her. But what I don't understand is why she is refusing help from someone that actually cares for her.

    Now she just seems angry at everything and everyone (including me) hence why she wants me to leave her alone. And to be honest I have done so for 2 months or so in a sense I wouldn't message her much, but she still feels the same.

    She was never like this, her personality was actually very good mashaAllah but yeah something has changed in her and I pray Allah can cure her
    It's common in jinn possession to isolate oneself as the jinn doesn't want the person to receive any help and Islam is a community based religion.
    Her being angry as you said is not her,it's the jinn effecting her. When someone is constantly angry other people don't want to be around them so further isolates them.

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    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Samsandman View Post
    It's common in jinn possession to isolate oneself as the jinn doesn't want the person to receive any help and Islam is a community based religion.
    Her being angry as you said is not her,it's the jinn effecting her. When someone is constantly angry other people don't want to be around them so further isolates them.
    Sounds like you have some experience in the matter.
    Are you a raqi?
    And the thunder exalts [ Allah ] with praise of Him - and the angels [as well] from fear of Him - and He sends thunderbolts and strikes therewith whom He wills while they dispute about Allah ; and He is severe in assault

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    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Samsandman View Post
    It's common in jinn possession to isolate oneself as the jinn doesn't want the person to receive any help and Islam is a community based religion.
    Her being angry as you said is not her,it's the jinn effecting her. When someone is constantly angry other people don't want to be around them so further isolates them.
    I was thinking the same thing subhan allah. but the fact that this sister is going to keep in touch with her without the pressure for now will inshallah make things better. and you said it right, it's not her but the thing that's possessing her. These things get hurt and are possessive when the human has someone specially a muslim that sincerely cares about them. It tries to hurt them, isolate them and make them feel there is no one there for them. Unfortunately, most people don't understand that.

    I recently saw a sister who was a very severe case of possession and the way she was behaving with her mother or sister was appalling. but amazingly her family was supportive. and i could see that she was struggling to control herself, the thing manifested itself in front of the raqi and was afraid of it. Subhanallah. With Allah's help a person can definitely beat these afflictions.

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    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by european muslim View Post
    Sounds like you have some experience in the matter.
    Are you a raqi?
    yes I do have experience but I'm only a raqi for myself.
    My grandmother(May Allah awj cures her) was a sahir.

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    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by neemhakeem View Post
    I was thinking the same thing subhan allah. but the fact that this sister is going to keep in touch with her without the pressure for now will inshallah make things better. and you said it right, it's not her but the thing that's possessing her. These things get hurt and are possessive when the human has someone specially a muslim that sincerely cares about them. It tries to hurt them, isolate them and make them feel there is no one there for them. Unfortunately, most people don't understand that.

    I recently saw a sister who was a very severe case of possession and the way she was behaving with her mother or sister was appalling. but amazingly her family was supportive. and i could see that she was struggling to control herself, the thing manifested itself in front of the raqi and was afraid of it. Subhanallah. With Allah's help a person can definitely beat these afflictions.
    It is not clear yet if she is posessed by a jinn or not.
    This can only become clear through ruqya.
    A person can become tired lazy without apparent reason and seclude him or herself also because of the evil eye.
    And the thunder exalts [ Allah ] with praise of Him - and the angels [as well] from fear of Him - and He sends thunderbolts and strikes therewith whom He wills while they dispute about Allah ; and He is severe in assault

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    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Samsandman View Post
    yes I do have experience but I'm only a raqi for myself.
    My grandmother(May Allah awj cures her) was a sahir.
    Masha Allah and may Allah protect us from the sahara and their evil works.
    May she repent and receive forgiveness.
    And the thunder exalts [ Allah ] with praise of Him - and the angels [as well] from fear of Him - and He sends thunderbolts and strikes therewith whom He wills while they dispute about Allah ; and He is severe in assault

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    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by european muslim View Post
    It is not clear yet if she is posessed by a jinn or not.
    This can only become clear through ruqya.
    A person can become tired lazy without apparent reason and seclude him or herself also because of the evil eye.
    That's true. Allah swt knows best.

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    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by european muslim View Post
    Masha Allah and may Allah protect us from the sahara and their evil works.
    May she repent and receive forgiveness.
    Ameen

    I doubt that,She died over a decade ago,she's definitely going to the fire down below.
    She practiced that filth for at least 60 years so she deserves what she gets,
    It caused serious problems for everyone in my family and others.

    Evil eye can cause jinn possession.jinn possession is more common than many people think.

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    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Samsandman View Post
    Ameen

    I doubt that,She died over a decade ago,she's definitely going to the fire down below.
    She practiced that filth for at least 60 years so she deserves what she gets,
    It caused serious problems for everyone in my family and others.

    Evil eye can cause jinn possession.jinn possession is more common than many people think.
    Ok i thought she was still alive because you said "was"
    In that case Allah is severe in punishment.

    And i agree that evil eye can result in jinn posession.
    It is indeed more common than most people would think.
    And the thunder exalts [ Allah ] with praise of Him - and the angels [as well] from fear of Him - and He sends thunderbolts and strikes therewith whom He wills while they dispute about Allah ; and He is severe in assault

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    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Samsandman View Post
    It's common in jinn possession to isolate oneself as the jinn doesn't want the person to receive any help and Islam is a community based religion.
    Her being angry as you said is not her,it's the jinn effecting her. When someone is constantly angry other people don't want to be around them so further isolates them.
    So what would be the best advice for me? She refuses and finds it even hard to listen to Ruqyah, she says she doesn't trust anyone and wants to find something to do to be happy without anyone.

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    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Update: She is willing to listen to Ruqyah tomorrow, she messaged me saying if it was okay we do it tomorrow as she is busy tonight. Off course I said in sha Allah tomorrow. Just please keep her in your dua'a that Allah can cure her.

    At the moment she doesn't trust anyone and she keeps dreaming people are trying to harm/kill her.

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    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by seekingadvice12 View Post
    Update: She is willing to listen to Ruqyah tomorrow, she messaged me saying if it was okay we do it tomorrow as she is busy tonight. Off course I said in sha Allah tomorrow. Just please keep her in your dua'a that Allah can cure her.

    At the moment she doesn't trust anyone and she keeps dreaming people are trying to harm/kill her.
    Glad that she has decided to listen to Ruqya. I don't know if she needs Ruqya or not, but it shows that she is willing to at least try

    Having someone live closer will help, if she has immediate need for someone to be there for her, or she needs to move out of toxic environment

    InshaAllah she will find healing /cure
    It was narrated from Jabir bin 'Abdullah that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: "O people, fear Allah and be moderate in seeking a living, for no soul will die until it has received all its provision, even if it is slow in coming. So fear Allah and be moderate in seeking provision; take that which is permissible and leave that which is forbidden. " Sunan Ibn Majah

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    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by islamlife00 View Post
    Glad that she has decided to listen to Ruqya. I don't know if she needs Ruqya or not, but it shows that she is willing to at least try

    Having someone live closer will help, if she has immediate need for someone to be there for her, or she needs to move out of toxic environment

    InshaAllah she will find healing /cure
    Yes alhamdulillah but I have a feeling when it comes down to the time of listening there will be anger and she will try to make excuses like she has done yesterday.

    Unfortunately, that is the problem, she doesn't live in a Muslim community and there is no one I know personally who can help her when/if she needs. However at the moment she just feels like being alone is the best thing and she will find something to do to be happy. That something doesn't really sound good to me as it could be anything (potentially haraam) but I hope I am wrong in sha Allah

    She doesn't even trust me for some reason, she says she can't trust anyone.

    She still says words like "in sha Allah " so she does seem to have faith however the dislike to listen to Qur'an is a major sign of her sickness. I honestly do blame myself as I was harsh sometimes whenever she listened to music or when she posted her picture on Facebook. I regret my strictness and I wish I could take it back as she must of felt like I was hating on her ontop of her family. I have apologised to her many times and she does say she is not angry at me and that I haven't done anything wrong. But for her to feel the way she does about me says otherwise.

    May Allah cure her and bring her back to his path (Ameen)

    We will see tomorrow if she goes through listening with an open heart

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    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by seekingadvice12 View Post
    Yes alhamdulillah but I have a feeling when it comes down to the time of listening there will be anger and she will try to make excuses like she has done yesterday.

    Unfortunately, that is the problem, she doesn't live in a Muslim community and there is no one I know personally who can help her when/if she needs. However at the moment she just feels like being alone is the best thing and she will find something to do to be happy. That something doesn't really sound good to me as it could be anything (potentially haraam) but I hope I am wrong in sha Allah

    She doesn't even trust me for some reason, she says she can't trust anyone.

    She still says words like "in sha Allah " so she does seem to have faith however the dislike to listen to Qur'an is a major sign of her sickness. I honestly do blame myself as I was harsh sometimes whenever she listened to music or when she posted her picture on Facebook. I regret my strictness and I wish I could take it back as she must of felt like I was hating on her ontop of her family. I have apologised to her many times and she does say she is not angry at me and that I haven't done anything wrong. But for her to feel the way she does about me says otherwise.

    May Allah cure her and bring her back to his path (Ameen)

    We will see tomorrow if she goes through listening with an open heart
    Alhamdulillah that she is agreeing to ruqyah.

    You should expect her to make excuses not to though and to become angry but remember that this is tjust he shayiteen and not her.

    If she does have a jinn in her it will fight back and use all kinds of tricks to get her to stop. She will feel worse before she feels better.

    Mistrust,suspicion and paranoia for no reason are all signs a jinn is at work,again these are classic tactics to isolate the victim.

    Encourage her to stay regular with prayers,try to be positve with her and remember that to count all the small victories and not discourage if she slips up or has a bad day.

    May Allah awj reward you for kindness,caring, patience and love of your sister.ameen. People like you are very rare

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    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by seekingadvice12 View Post
    Yes alhamdulillah but I have a feeling when it comes down to the time of listening there will be anger and she will try to make excuses like she has done yesterday.

    Unfortunately, that is the problem, she doesn't live in a Muslim community and there is no one I know personally who can help her when/if she needs. However at the moment she just feels like being alone is the best thing and she will find something to do to be happy. That something doesn't really sound good to me as it could be anything (potentially haraam) but I hope I am wrong in sha Allah

    She doesn't even trust me for some reason, she says she can't trust anyone.

    She still says words like "in sha Allah " so she does seem to have faith however the dislike to listen to Qur'an is a major sign of her sickness. I honestly do blame myself as I was harsh sometimes whenever she listened to music or when she posted her picture on Facebook. I regret my strictness and I wish I could take it back as she must of felt like I was hating on her ontop of her family. I have apologised to her many times and she does say she is not angry at me and that I haven't done anything wrong. But for her to feel the way she does about me says otherwise.

    May Allah cure her and bring her back to his path (Ameen)

    We will see tomorrow if she goes through listening with an open heart
    Ameen to your dua. Also for those in the same situation, May Allah cure them, guide them back to His path and keep their faith firm in it.

    The Quran itself is healing and guidance. If she doesn't like listening to the Quran, sounds she does need ruqya.

    You have been a very good friend for her. May Allah reward you and protect you.
    It was narrated from Jabir bin 'Abdullah that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: "O people, fear Allah and be moderate in seeking a living, for no soul will die until it has received all its provision, even if it is slow in coming. So fear Allah and be moderate in seeking provision; take that which is permissible and leave that which is forbidden. " Sunan Ibn Majah

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    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Samsandman View Post
    Alhamdulillah that she is agreeing to ruqyah.

    You should expect her to make excuses not to though and to become angry but remember that this is tjust he shayiteen and not her.

    If she does have a jinn in her it will fight back and use all kinds of tricks to get her to stop. She will feel worse before she feels better.

    Mistrust,suspicion and paranoia for no reason are all signs a jinn is at work,again these are classic tactics to isolate the victim.

    Encourage her to stay regular with prayers,try to be positve with her and remember that to count all the small victories and not discourage if she slips up or has a bad day.

    May Allah awj reward you for kindness,caring, patience and love of your sister.ameen. People like you are very rare
    Ameen, very kind of you to say, she is worth all the effort alhamdulillah.

    Right she did listen to at least 5 minutes worth of ruqyah. I asked her about her feelings and she said "she felt bored" whilst listening, I then did ask her about if she still believes in Allah and Prophet Muhammad (Peace be Upon Him), she said yes and that she believes in everything she used to believe in, alhamdulillah

    I did suggest if I could send her an MP3 of ruqyah so whenever she is free she can listen, but she told me not to bother.

    So what do I do now? Ask her if we can listen again for 5 minutes? Or just leave her to it which If I do, I know she wouldn't try to do anything Islamic cause of her environment etc.

    May Allah bless you all for your help and advice.

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    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Alhamdulillah,5 minutes may not seem like much but it's a start and we should be thankful for any success or victories we see even if they seem small to us.
    Be patient but gently persistent. You know her and her situation better than anyone here so only you can judge how much to push and when to ease off.

    Let her know that you still support her and you are there to listen to any issues she is facing,try to get her to open up about her problems and be supportive. Having someone to talk to will be of great benefit as she is alone and isolated so having a friend to talk to is good.

    Encourage her to make Dua and to open a conversation with Allah awj even if it's an informal one when she is alone.

    If are able to can send her an MP3 please then do so as it is a gift that shows you care.

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    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Samsandman View Post
    Alhamdulillah,5 minutes may not seem like much but it's a start and we should be thankful for any success or victories we see even if they seem small to us.
    Be patient but gently persistent. You know her and her situation better than anyone here so only you can judge how much to push and when to ease off.

    Let her know that you still support her and you are there to listen to any issues she is facing,try to get her to open up about her problems and be supportive. Having someone to talk to will be of great benefit as she is alone and isolated so having a friend to talk to is good.

    Encourage her to make Dua and to open a conversation with Allah awj even if it's an informal one when she is alone.

    If are able to can send her an MP3 please then do so as it is a gift that shows you care.
    Alhamdulillah yes, I just don't know what to think when she said she felt bored whilst listening to the recitation as obviously that's not normal

    I have told her many times, I am there to support her anytime of the day, she can talk to me about anything (good or bad), I said she is still a great person with a great heart, all encouraging words etc etc.

    But she just then says "I am better of alone and I don't need anyone and that she won't change her mind about it"

    And she told me yesterday that she is looking forward to christmas and that she doesn't believe in it but shes looking forward to the lights/decorations and presents (now what can I say to that), which is why I then asked her if she still believed in Allah and alhamdulillah she said yes.

    I did ask her about the MP3, she said not to bother, so do I still just send it or leave it for now? She just keeps having mixed feelings and I think she's fighting her soul at the moment and I can only pray Allah guides her back to him

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    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Usually 5 minutes of listening is not enough.

    If she said she was bored maybe she was not really interested and just did it because you asked her.
    Niyah is very important in ruqya, you need the right mindset and intentions.
    Also you need to be 100% certain in your heart that Allah can cure you.

    Keep your dua, may Allah guide her.
    And the thunder exalts [ Allah ] with praise of Him - and the angels [as well] from fear of Him - and He sends thunderbolts and strikes therewith whom He wills while they dispute about Allah ; and He is severe in assault

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    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    That's a good start,keep doing what you are doing.

    I encourage you to maintain contact with her and continue to be gently persistent.

    Don't expect her to make huge progress quickly,it will take some time.

    Reverting to Islam is very difficult thing to go through.Many reverts leave islam in the first couple years as they receive no support from the community they join in many cases and the
    difficulties they go through are overwhelming for them.

    continue to encourage her and support her as bets you can.

    May Allah awj make ease her affairs,ameen.

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    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by seekingadvice12 View Post
    Ameen, very kind of you to say, she is worth all the effort alhamdulillah.

    Right she did listen to at least 5 minutes worth of ruqyah. I asked her about her feelings and she said "she felt bored" whilst listening, I then did ask her about if she still believes in Allah and Prophet Muhammad (Peace be Upon Him), she said yes and that she believes in everything she used to believe in, alhamdulillah

    I did suggest if I could send her an MP3 of ruqyah so whenever she is free she can listen, but she told me not to bother.

    So what do I do now? Ask her if we can listen again for 5 minutes? Or just leave her to it which If I do, I know she wouldn't try to do anything Islamic cause of her environment etc.

    May Allah bless you all for your help and advice.
    Honestly, I do not think she needs ruqyah. She is just depressed. May Allah guide her and ease her affairs. You should tell her that when she is ready, that she should listen to the Quran with english translations. You are doing a good job but she has to be the one that comes to you.

    Allah said "Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves." (Surah 13:11).

    1) Here is a good website for Quran recitations: http://quranexplorer.com/quran/

    2) Here is a good website for english translations: http://legacy.quran.com/

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    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Calender121438 View Post
    Honestly, I do not think she needs ruqyah. She is just depressed. May Allah guide her and ease her affairs. You should tell her that when she is ready, that she should listen to the Quran with english translations. You are doing a good job but she has to be the one that comes to you.

    Allah said "Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves." (Surah 13:11).

    1) Here is a good website for Quran recitations: http://quranexplorer.com/quran/

    2) Here is a good website for english translations: http://legacy.quran.com/
    Ameen, the thing is, she was already depressed due to family issues but she always maintained doing Islamic worship like doing Islamic videos, learning dua'a, trying to be as modest as possible no matter how much her mum wanted her to wear make up and tight clothing, no matter how messed up her family were. So to suddenly stop that and have no interest for it, seems like ruqyah is needed especially how she feels a presence next to her and she dreams of dying and falling from a high place etc etc but yeah I could be wrong. The only problem is, how can I get her to keep listening to it and actually show an interest.

    It is just difficult for me as I know and knew how the sister was, the zeal she had was encouraging like how she wanted to wear the niqab, buy halal meat when she was able to drive, even to a point learn the Arabic language and be in the future to come a great Muslim Mum, yes she had all these dreams.

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    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Samsandman View Post
    That's a good start,keep doing what you are doing.

    I encourage you to maintain contact with her and continue to be gently persistent.

    Don't expect her to make huge progress quickly,it will take some time.

    Reverting to Islam is very difficult thing to go through.Many reverts leave islam in the first couple years as they receive no support from the community they join in many cases and the
    difficulties they go through are overwhelming for them.

    continue to encourage her and support her as bets you can.

    May Allah awj make ease her affairs,ameen.
    Ameen, I will in sha Allah try to do so, no matter how much her family hated Islam, she still remained firm towards the religion, but the loss of interest in the last 2 months saddens me as off course I only wish the best for her and at the moment she can't see that.

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    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    how was her last ramadan?

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    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by seekingadvice12 View Post
    Ameen, the thing is, she was already depressed due to family issues but she always maintained doing Islamic worship like doing Islamic videos, learning dua'a, trying to be as modest as possible no matter how much her mum wanted her to wear make up and tight clothing, no matter how messed up her family were. So to suddenly stop that and have no interest for it, seems like ruqyah is needed especially how she feels a presence next to her and she dreams of dying and falling from a high place etc etc but yeah I could be wrong. The only problem is, how can I get her to keep listening to it and actually show an interest.

    It is just difficult for me as I know and knew how the sister was, the zeal she had was encouraging like how she wanted to wear the niqab, buy halal meat when she was able to drive, even to a point learn the Arabic language and be in the future to come a great Muslim Mum, yes she had all these dreams.
    That is up to her inshallah: "For whoever wills among you to take a right course.And you do not will except that Allah wills - Lord of the worlds."(Surah 81:28-29).

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    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Samsandman View Post
    how was her last ramadan?
    Not great to be honest, she didn't fast as it was difficult upon her to do so, and I guess for her it didn't feel like ramadan as she didn't have the presence of it (where someone in her family or even friends are doing it)

    And a week after Eid this is when she started to change and have no trust in any one and just have this rejection of someone wanting to help her.

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    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Ramadan and the period just after are very difficult for reverts. Eid is a time to celebrate with your family and community so if you don't have a muslim family or muslim community it can be very depressing. Humans have a need for a time to celebrate and that is why I suspect she is looking forward to christmas.

    Continue to talk with her and encourage her.

    Do you live far from her? Does she have any day to day in person contact with muslims?

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    Re: Possible Ruqya Needed, also some advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Samsandman View Post
    Ramadan and the period just after are very difficult for reverts. Eid is a time to celebrate with your family and community so if you don't have a muslim family or muslim community it can be very depressing. Humans have a need for a time to celebrate and that is why I suspect she is looking forward to christmas.

    Continue to talk with her and encourage her.

    Do you live far from her? Does she have any day to day in person contact with muslims?
    Yeah that is why on the Eid that just went I made sure on Eid day, flowers, chocolates and a teddy bear was delivered to her house and I messaged her saying "Eid Mubarak, I know it doesn't seem like Eid to you but you are a Muslim and you deserve gifts on Eid" she was really happy alhamdulillah, but it seemed short lived as she was still being the same distant with me, so it was like no matter what I do I generally get the cold shoulder., if I didn't feel she was worthy I would have given up by now as you can't force someone to like you or want to talk to you.

    Yeah I do live far away from her (few hours drive) which is also difficult, I do plan to go see her but I would need to stay over her area and the prices of hotels are very steep especially over weekends.

    And no she doesn't have any contact with any Muslims at all apart from me unfortunately and even with me I am far away.

 

 

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