Hello & Welcome to our community. Is this your first visit? Register
Ads by Muslim Ad Network


Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 41 to 74 of 74
  1. #1
    Odan
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    2,822
    Mentioned
    224 Post(s)
    Quoted
    2076 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    357

    How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?



    What the Title says.

    How does a parent deal with the 'other side' trying to 'influence' the child/ren involved by saying negative things about the said parent?

    How do couples decide who/where the child/ren live with?


  2. #41
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    284
    Mentioned
    8 Post(s)
    Quoted
    212 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    8

    Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

    Quote Originally Posted by _Sapphire View Post
    It depends on the age, though; as well as their standard of living before and after, and how both parents deal with it.
    My siblings and I were much happier, healthier, more well-behaved and more social AFTER our parents' separation.
    I do understand people should think twice about getting a divorce, but no one should stay in a toxic marriage for the children, because its as harmful for the children as it is for the spouse.
    I'm not saying couples can't make it work, because most can. I just hate it when people say they should 'stay together for the kids' sake' if their marriage is damaged beyond repair.
    I agree.

  3. #42
    Odan
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    2,822
    Mentioned
    224 Post(s)
    Quoted
    2076 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    357

    Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

    Quote Originally Posted by A500DaBest View Post
    The best thing any father could do if a divorce happen and I just learn this newly is 100% disappear and cut all connection from your children for life. My brother is right, children need mothers more than fathers. The reason behind this, because if there is any connection between child and father the mother will use the child as a weapon, will cause war etc. For the emotional sanity of the child and less trauma it is best the mom make the child hate the father, it is best the child lose any connection between him/her and the dad. Father's obligation remain inheritance and child support as indicated Islamically but other than that...the father if he needs a child to live with him where can raise on his own..sponsor a child or best yet sponsor one before marriage so that if a divorce happens he takes the sponsored child with him and the mother keeps her children with her. This seems like fair trait. The child will grow up with the mother and the mother will raise the child on her own, much like my mom did with us when my father died.

    I also learned something if a father attempts to form love or connection to his child or the child bonds with the father the mother will resent it and in some cases kill the child to despise the father....so it is best to conclude that the children are yours by name only and they are there to oblige you financially only but you are just renting them. The child belongs to the mother and her family not to the father and his family.
    I don't even know how to respond to your posts brother.

    I would say this though - a child needs both mother and father.

  4. #43
    Odan
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    2,822
    Mentioned
    224 Post(s)
    Quoted
    2076 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    357

    Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

    Quote Originally Posted by _Sapphire View Post
    It depends on the age, though; as well as their standard of living before and after, and how both parents deal with it.
    My siblings and I were much happier, healthier, more well-behaved and more social AFTER our parents' separation.
    I do understand people should think twice about getting a divorce, but no one should stay in a toxic marriage for the children, because its as harmful for the children as it is for the spouse.
    I'm not saying couples can't make it work, because most can. I just hate it when people say they should 'stay together for the kids' sake' if their marriage is damaged beyond repair.


    I think this is what I sort of needed to hear. That the kids don't turn out to be 'crazy' adults - later on in life.

    Since you've mentioned it now - would you say you were happier, healthier, better behaved, because your parents were 'civil' with each other in their interaction?

  5. #44
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    197
    Mentioned
    7 Post(s)
    Quoted
    107 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    15

    Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

    I hate hearing of parents using their children after divorce. A child needs both parents and both parents have rights over the children. Divorce can be traumatic and affect children into adulthood- especially if the parents are bitter and fighting.

    As adults its the parents job to disregard their own feelings and do what is best for the children inshaAllah.

    In my situation there was no question where our child was better off-her father actually wanted us to return without a divorce and just to meet up now and then. Financially we struggled in India and my father was helping us. There was also domestic violence which was the main cause for me which finally made me see that the marriage needed to end in order for my child to not be exposed to it. We were not compatible anymore so the mature thing to do was separate. Divorce isn't always a bad thing that is why its halal sometimes its better then remaining married when it just doesn't work anymore.

    I have made a big effort to not talk about the divorce around her, I communicate with her father as she is too young, update him etc I always encourage her to talk to him and skype him. As a result MashaAllah she has a good relationship with him. I am not responsible for his actions but I am for mine. He doesn't give regular maintenance and I dont cause issue around it, I thank him when he does give what he can. I manage on my own. And I respect his right as a parent and wouldn't withhold a relationship with her father from my child.

    I hate seeing parents using their children neither parent has more of a right to have the children than the other. Parents are equal in their rights. We must do what is right for the children and not be selfish. In the future the children most likely will resent the parent who alienated them from the other or the one who made no effort to keep relationships with the children. Once a relationship is damaged its difficult to repair.

  6. #45
    Odan Abu julaybeeb's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Gender
    Girl Unspecified
    Posts
    1,668
    Mentioned
    27 Post(s)
    Quoted
    908 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    56

    Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

    May Allah make it easy for you

  7. #46
    Odan muzzybee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    12,555
    Mentioned
    383 Post(s)
    Quoted
    3540 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    537

    Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

    Quote Originally Posted by Indefinable View Post


    I think this is what I sort of needed to hear. That the kids don't turn out to be 'crazy' adults - later on in life.

    Since you've mentioned it now - would you say you were happier, healthier, better behaved, because your parents were 'civil' with each other in their interaction?
    Wait, you were waiting to hear a positive response ? , somehow you can justify something ?
    sorry thats not how it works.

    Out of all people you should know that.

    Youtube channel - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYk...dE4pHzSid7Lr0w

    **** Smiling won't cost you now is it ****

    Zawjati ,“Uhibbuki mithla mâ antę” “Uhibbuki kaifamâ kunteee”“Wa mahmâ kâna mahma sâra”

  8. #47
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    284
    Mentioned
    8 Post(s)
    Quoted
    212 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    8

    Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

    Quote Originally Posted by muzzybee View Post
    Wait, you were waiting to hear a positive response ? , somehow you can justify something ?
    sorry thats not how it works.

    Out of all people you should know that.

  9. #48
    Odan
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    2,822
    Mentioned
    224 Post(s)
    Quoted
    2076 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    357

    Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

    Quote Originally Posted by muzzybee View Post
    Wait, you were waiting to hear a positive response ? , somehow you can justify something ?
    sorry thats not how it works.


    Out of all people you should know that.
    I wanted to know how divorce/separation affects children.

    The sister spoke of her experience.

    Everyone is stating that it affects the children and they have 'issues' and 'baggage', but no one is mentioning the 'how'.

    Thank you for completely misunderstanding my post and jumping to far-fetched conclusions.

  10. #49
    Odan
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    13,373
    Mentioned
    403 Post(s)
    Quoted
    6625 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    583

    Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

    Quote Originally Posted by Indefinable View Post
    I wanted to know how divorce/separation affects children.

    The sister spoke of her experience.

    Everyone is stating that it affects the children and they have 'issues' and 'baggage', but no one is mentioning the 'how'.

    Thank you for completely misunderstanding my post and jumping to far-fetched conclusions.
    What you mean how? Isn't it just common sense. You have a separation, it causes confusion, hurt, guilt, anger, betrayal, loneliness, instability and a multitude of other emotions humans can experience.

  11. #50
    Odan
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    2,822
    Mentioned
    224 Post(s)
    Quoted
    2076 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    357

    Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

    Quote Originally Posted by zi-zizou View Post
    What you mean how? Isn't it just common sense. You have a separation, it causes confusion, hurt, guilt, anger, betrayal, loneliness, instability and a multitude of other emotions humans can experience.
    Never mind, I get what you're saying.

  12. #51
    Odan
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    13,373
    Mentioned
    403 Post(s)
    Quoted
    6625 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    583

    Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

    Quote Originally Posted by Indefinable View Post
    Never mind, I get what you're saying.
    Don't give up so easily, where's your fighting spirit? Get the answers you need.

  13. #52
    Odan
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    2,822
    Mentioned
    224 Post(s)
    Quoted
    2076 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    357

    Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

    Quote Originally Posted by zi-zizou View Post
    Don't give up so easily, where's your fighting spirit? Get the answers you need.
    Alhamdulillaah. I have what I need.


  14. #53
    Odan
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    13,373
    Mentioned
    403 Post(s)
    Quoted
    6625 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    583

    Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

    Quote Originally Posted by Indefinable View Post
    Alhamdulillaah. I have what I need.

    You gathering info for someone close?

  15. #54
    Odan
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    2,822
    Mentioned
    224 Post(s)
    Quoted
    2076 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    357

    Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

    Quote Originally Posted by zi-zizou View Post
    You gathering info for someone close?
    Off topic.

  16. #55
    Odan muzzybee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    12,555
    Mentioned
    383 Post(s)
    Quoted
    3540 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    537

    Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

    Quote Originally Posted by zi-zizou View Post
    You gathering info for someone close?
    Probably a thesis for some degree or summing...its like focus group innit

    Youtube channel - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYk...dE4pHzSid7Lr0w

    **** Smiling won't cost you now is it ****

    Zawjati ,“Uhibbuki mithla mâ antę” “Uhibbuki kaifamâ kunteee”“Wa mahmâ kâna mahma sâra”

  17. #56
    Odan
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    1,692
    Mentioned
    38 Post(s)
    Quoted
    815 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    57

    Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

    Quote Originally Posted by Indefinable View Post
    I wanted to know how divorce/separation affects children.

    The sister spoke of her experience.

    Everyone is stating that it affects the children and they have 'issues' and 'baggage', but no one is mentioning the 'how'.

    Thank you for completely misunderstanding my post and jumping to far-fetched conclusions.
    The long and short of it is this that....
    Depending on how parents go about it... this will be the outcome in kids.
    Shariah has given us the answers... If we follow this there shouldnt be issues...
    Sadly most dont so kids do get affected.
    By saying kids are better off... this means in comparison to inside abusive/toxic marriage.... not better off as a whole... there will still be something missing as opposed to living in a complete healthy marriage/family...

  18. #57
    Odan
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    13,373
    Mentioned
    403 Post(s)
    Quoted
    6625 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    583

    Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

    Quote Originally Posted by Indefinable View Post
    Off topic.
    You mentioned in page 1, "it's not for me". It did not seem off topic then.

    Why would it matter anyway, people divorce, not like it's something that never happens.

  19. #58
    Odan
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    2,822
    Mentioned
    224 Post(s)
    Quoted
    2076 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    357

    Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

    Quote Originally Posted by zi-zizou View Post
    You mentioned in page 1, "it's not for me". It did not seem off topic then.

    Why would it matter anyway, people divorce, not like it's something that never happens.
    The user assumed it was for me - I clarified that it wasn't.

    Why are you asking who it's for? It's irrelevant.

    I am aware that 'people divorce' - I wanted to know what it's like for the children involved.

    Thanks for your input.

  20. #59
    Odan
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    2,822
    Mentioned
    224 Post(s)
    Quoted
    2076 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    357

    Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ekoor View Post
    The long and short of it is this that....
    Depending on how parents go about it... this will be the outcome in kids.
    Shariah has given us the answers... If we follow this there shouldnt be issues...
    Sadly most dont so kids do get affected.
    By saying kids are better off... this means in comparison to inside abusive/toxic marriage.... not better off as a whole... there will still be something missing as opposed to living in a complete healthy marriage/family...
    Thank you brother. That makes sense

  21. #60
    Odan
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    2,822
    Mentioned
    224 Post(s)
    Quoted
    2076 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    357

    Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

    Quote Originally Posted by Indefinable View Post


    What the Title says.

    How does a parent deal with the 'other side' trying to 'influence' the child/ren involved by saying negative things about the said parent?

    How do couples decide who/where the child/ren live with?

    @oshirowanen

  22. #61
    Odan
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    13,373
    Mentioned
    403 Post(s)
    Quoted
    6625 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    583

    Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

    Quote Originally Posted by Indefinable View Post
    The user assumed it was for me - I clarified that it wasn't.

    Why are you asking who it's for? It's irrelevant.

    I am aware that 'people divorce' - I wanted to know what it's like for the children involved.

    Thanks for your input.
    Well if you know more about the people involved you can be in a better position to offer relevant advice, no?

    If you really want valued input you could always google it and you'll be directed to scholarly work by professionals who really know what impact it can and does have.

    You're welcome.

  23. #62
    Muslim
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    2,379
    Mentioned
    128 Post(s)
    Quoted
    1753 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    126

    Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

    Quote Originally Posted by Indefinable View Post
    I would say , never allow jelousy / enmity / pride cause you to abuse legal rights for visitation. A lot of times , women figuire the children will succeed further if they have little to no contact with the father.

    I believe that is a deception from the shayton which will ultimately deteriorate the relationship the kids have with their fathers until , that relationship becomes obsolete. The same situation happens time and time again. The women see the "real him" and figuires they need to escape from this psycho .. But the man is Daddy when it comes to the children and they are not exposed to what you perceive to be the deviant side ( or at least not as exposed )
    It is influenced by shayton because the destruction of family is shaytons greatest attack. Its one thing to be divorced , another to literally lose contact to a Dad/Mom who is actually alive.

    Though my view is based on non Muslim culture. I have no idea how muslims react to divorce / visitations. It is normal amongst Kuffar to have no contact with their Mother / Father ( its usually the father who either takes the back route or is abused by the spiteful mother )

    So yeah , unless the father does hard drugs in front of them , or something that extreme , you should always encourage visits , simply for your childs well-being. Take all the rude comments , unwanted calls , his dreadful voice etc for their sake .. Hey , you're the one who married him.

  24. #63
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    392
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Quoted
    54 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    26

    Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

    I wish my parents had gotten divorced long before they did. Instead they stayed together "for the children" and my childhood was sucked. My parents could not stand one another, and by the time I was 10, they barley spoke, avoided each other, and fought when they couldn't. The entire house was constantly on edge, and every one was unhappy, This went on for 25 years! It didn't take me long to figure out they were miserable because they were together, and they were only together because of us kids. I felt so much guilt for so long about the whole mess. If it hadn't been me and my siblings they would have gotten divorced (they were completely incomparable) and lived happy separate lives
    Finally my mom had enough, and filed for divorce. Now they are both happily married to other people.

    What I am trying to say is kids aren't dumb, and they will figure out you are only together because of them, don't burden them with that guilt.Happy divorced parents are 1000% better than unhappy married parents.

  25. #64
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    284
    Mentioned
    8 Post(s)
    Quoted
    212 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    8

    Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

    Quote Originally Posted by Angel Barchild View Post
    I wish my parents had gotten divorced long before they did. Instead they stayed together "for the children" and my childhood was sucked. My parents could not stand one another, and by the time I was 10, they barley spoke, avoided each other, and fought when they couldn't. The entire house was constantly on edge, and every one was unhappy, This went on for 25 years! It didn't take me long to figure out they were miserable because they were together, and they were only together because of us kids. I felt so much guilt for so long about the whole mess. If it hadn't been me and my siblings they would have gotten divorced (they were completely incomparable) and lived happy separate lives
    Finally my mom had enough, and filed for divorce. Now they are both happily married to other people.

    What I am trying to say is kids aren't dumb, and they will figure out you are only together because of them, don't burden them with that guilt.Happy divorced parents are 1000% better than unhappy married parents.
    The problem is not the divorce. The problem the concept that after the divorce the mother have 100% ownership of the children and cutting ties between children and their fathers and turning the children against the father and worse if the children want to live with the dad the mom will resent this and make it impossible for this to happen the list goes on. That is the problem. No mother can teach a son how to become a man like a father would, yet somehow we still prevent him from staying with his dad when the child of sound age wants to stay with him. No one cares if the mother poison the children against the father, the list goes.

    That is the problem. But knowing that justice is coming in the afterlife where then the victim dad will get his right is full satisfaction to me. So I say to all mothers who want to do this....go ahead and destroy your children's relation with their dad and destroy YOUR children's afterlife. Let me tell you to all the mom's out there who do this, not only society don't care if you do this..but they applaud you for it. So have fun, enjoy your endless power in this world and let there be only one parent mother and father just a name...let the very concept of dad be destroyed...because we will enjoy our sweet revenge in the afterlife. We will get something better than children's love in this world...you are actually giving these men who you think are hurting him in this world great rewards for the afterlife and you are actually destroying yourself and the children who you so call love them. The is actually very funny! Go girl! Actually now I want to get married and have children in hopes that my future wife will do this to me!! Wooot! My future wife will give me such high level of paradise through her abuse! I love it!!

    I changed my entire thinking now!
    Last edited by A500DaBest; 31-08-17 at 05:00 PM.

  26. #65
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    203
    Mentioned
    4 Post(s)
    Quoted
    157 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    2

    Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

    Quote Originally Posted by Angel Barchild View Post
    I wish my parents had gotten divorced long before they did. Instead they stayed together "for the children" and my childhood was sucked. My parents could not stand one another, and by the time I was 10, they barley spoke, avoided each other, and fought when they couldn't. The entire house was constantly on edge, and every one was unhappy, This went on for 25 years! It didn't take me long to figure out they were miserable because they were together, and they were only together because of us kids. I felt so much guilt for so long about the whole mess. If it hadn't been me and my siblings they would have gotten divorced (they were completely incomparable) and lived happy separate lives
    Finally my mom had enough, and filed for divorce. Now they are both happily married to other people.

    What I am trying to say is kids aren't dumb, and they will figure out you are only together because of them, don't burden them with that guilt.Happy divorced parents are 1000% better than unhappy married parents.
    Were you the oldest?
    What about younger siblings?

  27. #66
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    392
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Quoted
    54 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    26

    Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

    Quote Originally Posted by Snippets View Post
    Were you the oldest?
    What about younger siblings?
    I am the middle child. My parents were teens when they got married, and had me and my older brother 18 months apart, my younger brother was born 3 years after me. My older brother and I suffered the most, younger brother had it easiest, because he had a naturally cheerful demeanor, and as he was the only child they actually had intentionally. They both doted on him. We were all well into adulthood when they got divorced, and though my brothers were complete dicks about the divorce at first (older brother is a hypocrite he is on marriage #3) after a couple years they both pulled their heads out their collective asses and realized our parents were way happier.

    People need to realize that divorce is not always a bad thing. I hear a lot of people say divorce is the end of a happy marriage, and that is just not true. Happily married people don't get divorced. It's the end of a bad marriage.


    As a side note, I am divorced from a short marriage when I was young. I am re-married (for 15 years now) to the best man on the planet, who my daughter absolutely adores, living a very happy life.

  28. #67
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    203
    Mentioned
    4 Post(s)
    Quoted
    157 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    2

    Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

    I wanted to know how do 5-10 year olds react to divorce.

  29. #68
    Odan
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    2,822
    Mentioned
    224 Post(s)
    Quoted
    2076 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    357

    Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

    Quote Originally Posted by A500DaBest View Post
    The problem is not the divorce. The problem the concept that after the divorce the mother have 100% ownership of the children and cutting ties between children and their fathers and turning the children against the father and worse if the children want to live with the dad the mom will resent this and make it impossible for this to happen the list goes on. That is the problem. No mother can teach a son how to become a man like a father would, yet somehow we still prevent him from staying with his dad when the child of sound age wants to stay with him. No one cares if the mother poison the children against the father, the list goes.

    That is the problem. But knowing that justice is coming in the afterlife where then the victim dad will get his right is full satisfaction to me. So I say to all mothers who want to do this....go ahead and destroy your children's relation with their dad and destroy YOUR children's afterlife. Let me tell you to all the mom's out there who do this, not only society don't care if you do this..but they applaud you for it. So have fun, enjoy your endless power in this world and let there be only one parent mother and father just a name...let the very concept of dad be destroyed...because we will enjoy our sweet revenge in the afterlife. We will get something better than children's love in this world...you are actually giving these men who you think are hurting him in this world great rewards for the afterlife and you are actually destroying yourself and the children who you so call love them. The is actually very funny! Go girl! Actually now I want to get married and have children in hopes that my future wife will do this to me!! Wooot! My future wife will give me such high level of paradise through her abuse! I love it!!

    I changed my entire thinking now!
    Women are evil.

    We get it.

  30. #69
    Odan
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    2,822
    Mentioned
    224 Post(s)
    Quoted
    2076 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    357

    Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

    Quote Originally Posted by AmantuBillahi View Post
    I would say , never allow jelousy / enmity / pride cause you to abuse legal rights for visitation. A lot of times , women figuire the children will succeed further if they have little to no contact with the father.

    I believe that is a deception from the shayton which will ultimately deteriorate the relationship the kids have with their fathers until , that relationship becomes obsolete. The same situation happens time and time again. The women see the "real him" and figuires they need to escape from this psycho .. But the man is Daddy when it comes to the children and they are not exposed to what you perceive to be the deviant side ( or at least not as exposed )
    It is influenced by shayton because the destruction of family is shaytons greatest attack. Its one thing to be divorced , another to literally lose contact to a Dad/Mom who is actually alive.

    Though my view is based on non Muslim culture. I have no idea how muslims react to divorce / visitations. It is normal amongst Kuffar to have no contact with their Mother / Father ( its usually the father who either takes the back route or is abused by the spiteful mother )

    So yeah , unless the father does hard drugs in front of them , or something that extreme , you should always encourage visits , simply for your childs well-being. Take all the rude comments , unwanted calls , his dreadful voice etc for their sake .. Hey , you're the one who married him.
    Of course - I agree.

    Every child needs both parents.



  31. #70
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    65
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Quoted
    39 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    4

    Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

    From my own friends, I'd say making a divorce work for the children usually is manageable in the beginning, even if the parents are bitter, if they all get some help and are able to love their children more than they dislike their spouse. The real problem sets in when either or both parents remarry, and step-parents enter the issue. I believe it's hugely important for the parents to remember that their new spouses are NOT parents to priori children, and the children should not be required to treat them as such.

  32. #71
    islamreligion.com eesa the kiwi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    9,746
    Mentioned
    446 Post(s)
    Quoted
    3612 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    888

    Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

    Quote Originally Posted by Indefinable View Post
    Women are evil.

    We get it.
    Lolz
    It may not be easy, you may not understand it, but you need to have the Imaan to trust Allah when life doesn't make sense.
    "Whoever intends eternal happiness, then let him hold tight to the threshold of servitude.” ibn Taymiyyah.

  33. #72
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    115
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Quoted
    44 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    8

    Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

    Quote Originally Posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post
    SubhanAllah so many problems can occur within the childrens lives i never even thought of some of these

    May Allah bless us with a beautiful patience and make us more righteous

    InshAllah divorce never takes place unless its the worst of situations
    Ameen.

    Kids have other stresses in life with school etc. They really don't need additional stress because of their parents divorce.

    Children minds think of so much. The childs age has a lot to do with it.

  34. #73
    I wonder Ya'sin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Gender
    Girl Unspecified
    Posts
    28,407
    Mentioned
    1272 Post(s)
    Quoted
    9268 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    1265

    Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

    Quote Originally Posted by Snippets View Post
    I wanted to know how do 5-10 year olds react to divorce.
    I don't know

    I just know that kids are like sponges, they absorb everything

    They remember everything so don't get fooled by their age, they are smart
    'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

    So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

  35. #74
    Odan Abu julaybeeb's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Gender
    Girl Unspecified
    Posts
    1,668
    Mentioned
    27 Post(s)
    Quoted
    908 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    56

    Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ya'sin View Post
    I don't know

    I just know that kids are like sponges, they absorb everything

    They remember everything so don't get fooled by their age, they are smart
    Good analogy

 

 

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
All times are GMT. The time now is 10:59 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.2
Copyright © 2017 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging v3.2.7 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2017 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
vBulletin Skin By: PurevB.com

MPADC.com Islamic Web Hosting | Muslim Ad Network | Islamic Nasheeds | Islamic Mobile App Developement Android & iPhone | Islamic Web Hosting : Muslim Designers : Labbayk Nasheeds : silk route jilbab: Hijab: : Web Islamic Newsletter: Islamic Web Hosting

Students of Arabic Forum | Hijab Shop