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    ::eek:: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

    since i embraced islam about 1,5 half year ago (swedish male convert) and though i REALLY genuinly think i love Allah swt and his messanger i have a problem that has not really improved... i have a very strange attitude thowards my muslim sisters. Its VERY difficult for me to even put into words, but i will do my best: whenever i come across a muslim sister, i feel... insecure, almost threatened. i genuinley do not know how to act. It might be that muslim women are generally kinda stigmatised here in the west...

    i think it runs deeper though. In a way, most of my past girlfriends and female friends (all are non muslim) i have had in all my adult life are pretty much the polar opposite of how muslim women are expected to act and generally behave. So to meet pious women with such different character is puzzeling.

    My girlfriends/female friends have all been moderate but enthusiastic drinkers, fairly promiscious and secular-feminist minded. When i talk to a muslim woman its almost like meeting a different species of woman. i feel... almost dirty and unworthy compared to their innocense and virtuos character. its almost a little intimidating to me. also what do you do when talking to a woman and youre not allowed to flirt with her? its such a wierd, new situation for me.

    I have the MOST "fear" of swedish sister converts. The generally high level of piety and good character of woman converts from my own culture that i have encountered has seriously caused me to feel insecure about my own iman and character. I admire them greatly because i know many of them go through a lost of prejudice and hate, but they do seem genuinley WIERD to me because they are swedish but at the same time so unlike my sister, cousins and swedish girls in matters of basic values! this makes me feel like a massive hypocrite because even though we share the same faith (and cultural origin) i feel distanced, almost intimidated by them.

    generally im not used to women with this kind of integrity and character who dont see themselves as objects. i want to stress that while i DO think this is the straight path for a woman and that i want this for my future daughters, it feels... UNNATURAL to me

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    Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

    Your white, you would never have prblems marrying a sister...
    Stop being apologetic to Kuffars!

    If I don't engage with you or reply to any of your question, it's likely because I find you racist and a total waste of time.

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    Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

    Quote Originally Posted by Abdell View Post
    Your white, you would never have prblems marrying a sister...
    my problem really isnt related to dating though... but do sisters really care about skin colour or are you being sarcastic?

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    Odan Abu julaybeeb's Avatar
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    Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

    Alhamdullilah Allah blessed you and guided you to Islam
    InshAllah you and the rest of the ummah including me stay steadfast on the deen

    Say Alhamdullilah brother when you converted all your sins were washed away. And Allah loves people who repent due to sins they gain taqwa and become even more closer to Allah. Never think your dirty or another muslim might look down at you your just as equal if not better than them after living a life without Islam and still coming to Islam with yours sins being washed away.Your a MUSLIM and anyone who tries to say there better then u is arrogant.

    Obviously try not to speak to sisters who you are not mehram to
    But if you for a necessary situation do talk to a girl try just stay modest speak up to what needs to be said and leave it at that also make sure to lower your gaze shaytaan will always tempt you. Obviously we should respect are muslim sisters highly but dont be intimidated afterall we are all the same we r all muslim and all equal

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suedi View Post
    since i embraced islam about 1,5 half year ago (swedish male convert) and though i REALLY genuinly think i love Allah swt and his messanger i have a problem that has not really improved... i have a very strange attitude thowards my muslim sisters. Its VERY difficult for me to even put into words, but i will do my best: whenever i come across a muslim sister, i feel... insecure, almost threatened. i genuinley do not know how to act. It might be that muslim women are generally kinda stigmatised here in the west...

    i think it runs deeper though. In a way, most of my past girlfriends and female friends (all are non muslim) i have had in all my adult life are pretty much the polar opposite of how muslim women are expected to act and generally behave. So to meet pious women with such different character is puzzeling.

    My girlfriends/female friends have all been moderate but enthusiastic drinkers, fairly promiscious and secular-feminist minded. When i talk to a muslim woman its almost like meeting a different species of woman. i feel... almost dirty and unworthy compared to their innocense and virtuos character. its almost a little intimidating to me. also what do you do when talking to a woman and youre not allowed to flirt with her? its such a wierd, new situation for me.

    I have the MOST "fear" of swedish sister converts. The generally high level of piety and good character of woman converts from my own culture that i have encountered has seriously caused me to feel insecure about my own iman and character. I admire them greatly because i know many of them go through a lost of prejudice and hate, but they do seem genuinley WIERD to me because they are swedish but at the same time so unlike my sister, cousins and swedish girls in matters of basic values! this makes me feel like a massive hypocrite because even though we share the same faith (and cultural origin) i feel distanced, almost intimidated by them.

    generally im not used to women with this kind of integrity and character who dont see themselves as objects. i want to stress that while i DO think this is the straight path for a woman and that i want this for my future daughters, it feels... UNNATURAL to me
    It's just culture shock. You've been around promiscuous kafir girls your whole life.

    And I hope this doesn't need to be said, but don't ever flirt with sisters.

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    Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

    Quote Originally Posted by Stoic Believer View Post
    It's just culture shock. You've been around promiscuous kafir girls your whole life.

    And I hope this doesn't need to be said, but don't ever flirt with sisters.
    Nor any girl other than a wife... correct?

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    Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

    Quote Originally Posted by Suedi View Post
    Nor any girl other than a wife... correct?
    Yep.

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    Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

    It is great news that you reverted to Islam
    You are born and raised in different environment and background, so you are not used to it, which is normal.
    Now, the challenge is to change and embrace a new way of life, it takes time and effort, step by step...
    One way to do it is by socializing with good Muslim brothers, you will acquire at least some of their qualities and you will definitely be influenced (even partially)

  9. #9
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    Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

    Quote Originally Posted by Suedi View Post
    Nor any girl other than a wife... correct?
    Or slave girl.
    You think you know more than my scholar's qiyās? He was more learned than you and all other scholars combined. Yeah, the devil was the greatest scholar too and look where his qiyās of fire being better than tīn got him. Sorry.

    You follow your scholar's qiyās, and I will follow the Qur'ān and Sunnah.

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    Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

    Quote Originally Posted by Linkdeutscher View Post
    Or slave girl.
    Did you cross a slave girl in your life?

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    Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

    Quote Originally Posted by Suedi View Post
    my problem really isnt related to dating though... but do sisters really care about skin colour or are you being sarcastic?
    you are going to one day realize that religion doesnt exterminate Racist.

    oh and yeahs..I can assure Plenty of white wahded Muslims.
    Stop being apologetic to Kuffars!

    If I don't engage with you or reply to any of your question, it's likely because I find you racist and a total waste of time.

  12. #12
    Odan Abu julaybeeb's Avatar
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    Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

    Quote Originally Posted by Linkdeutscher View Post
    Or slave girl.
    Lol

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    Slave of AIIah dsr478's Avatar
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    Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

    Quote Originally Posted by Suedi View Post
    since i embraced islam about 1,5 half year ago (swedish male convert) and though i REALLY genuinly think i love Allah swt and his messanger i have a problem that has not really improved... i have a very strange attitude thowards my muslim sisters. Its VERY difficult for me to even put into words, but i will do my best: whenever i come across a muslim sister, i feel... insecure, almost threatened. i genuinley do not know how to act. It might be that muslim women are generally kinda stigmatised here in the west...

    i think it runs deeper though. In a way, most of my past girlfriends and female friends (all are non muslim) i have had in all my adult life are pretty much the polar opposite of how muslim women are expected to act and generally behave. So to meet pious women with such different character is puzzeling.

    My girlfriends/female friends have all been moderate but enthusiastic drinkers, fairly promiscious and secular-feminist minded. When i talk to a muslim woman its almost like meeting a different species of woman. i feel... almost dirty and unworthy compared to their innocense and virtuos character. its almost a little intimidating to me. also what do you do when talking to a woman and youre not allowed to flirt with her? its such a wierd, new situation for me.

    I have the MOST "fear" of swedish sister converts. The generally high level of piety and good character of woman converts from my own culture that i have encountered has seriously caused me to feel insecure about my own iman and character. I admire them greatly because i know many of them go through a lost of prejudice and hate, but they do seem genuinley WIERD to me because they are swedish but at the same time so unlike my sister, cousins and swedish girls in matters of basic values! this makes me feel like a massive hypocrite because even though we share the same faith (and cultural origin) i feel distanced, almost intimidated by them.

    generally im not used to women with this kind of integrity and character who dont see themselves as objects. i want to stress that while i DO think this is the straight path for a woman and that i want this for my future daughters, it feels... UNNATURAL to me
    You'll get used to it.

  14. #14
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    Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

    Quote Originally Posted by Abdell View Post
    Your white, you would never have prblems marrying a sister...
    That statement could be taken a little differently to the way you probably meant it lol

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    Odan Abu julaybeeb's Avatar
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    Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

    Quote Originally Posted by dsr478 View Post
    That statement could be taken a little differently to the way you probably meant it lol
    Its quite true though
    A lot of sisters like white reverts then again so do brothers (not all but alot)

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    Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

    Quote Originally Posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post
    Its quite true though
    A lot of sisters like white reverts then again so do brothers (not all but alot)
    I'm saying there's another joke hidden within it...

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    Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

    Quote Originally Posted by dsr478 View Post
    That statement could be taken a little differently to the way you probably meant it lol
    For some reason your point is way over my ahead. I know it means something but i guess Ive had a long day lol...
    Stop being apologetic to Kuffars!

    If I don't engage with you or reply to any of your question, it's likely because I find you racist and a total waste of time.

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    Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

    Quote Originally Posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post
    Its quite true though
    A lot of sisters like white reverts then again so do brothers (not all but alot)
    Yup.

    I dont think religiousity matters as much. I noticed its a compromise sisters make provided the guy Is White.

    Allah is the all wise thought...
    Stop being apologetic to Kuffars!

    If I don't engage with you or reply to any of your question, it's likely because I find you racist and a total waste of time.

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    Odan Abu julaybeeb's Avatar
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    Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

    Quote Originally Posted by Abdell View Post
    Yup.

    I dont think religiousity matters as much. I noticed its a compromise sisters make provided the guy Is White.

    Allah is the all wise thought...
    Well whoevers trading attraction for taqwa is at loss

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    Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

    Quote Originally Posted by dsr478 View Post
    I'm saying there's another joke hidden within it...
    I dont get it whats the hidden joke

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    Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

    Quote Originally Posted by Abdell View Post
    Yup.

    I dont think religiousity matters as much. I noticed its a compromise sisters make provided the guy Is White.

    Allah is the all wise thought...
    Guess im lucky then, i have always loved arab women Somalis arent too bad either. Persians are the most beautiful of all but like every iranian in sweden is atheist

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    Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

    Quote Originally Posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post
    I dont get it whats the hidden joke
    I think it's better nobody gets it.

  23. #23
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    Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

    Quote Originally Posted by Abdell View Post
    For some reason your point is way over my ahead. I know it means something but i guess Ive had a long day lol...
    I think my old time habits from before I was practising kinda give me a one up in seeing these kinds of things nobody else would.

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    Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

    Quote Originally Posted by dsr478 View Post
    I think my old time habits from before I was practising kinda give me a one up in seeing these kinds of things nobody else would.
    i got it hahaha

    I used to make those kind of Jokes to poke fun at meth tweekers and hillbillies. hahaha
    Stop being apologetic to Kuffars!

    If I don't engage with you or reply to any of your question, it's likely because I find you racist and a total waste of time.

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    Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

    Quote Originally Posted by Ayman2 View Post
    Did you cross a slave girl in your life?
    No, I never had one to cross her in the first place.
    You think you know more than my scholar's qiyās? He was more learned than you and all other scholars combined. Yeah, the devil was the greatest scholar too and look where his qiyās of fire being better than tīn got him. Sorry.

    You follow your scholar's qiyās, and I will follow the Qur'ān and Sunnah.

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    Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

    Quote Originally Posted by Ayman2 View Post
    Did you cross a slave girl in your life?
    The only way you would get a slave girl now is if you did jihad conquered a place and took the women as slaves

  27. #27
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    Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

    The brother has a problem and you here talking about slaves !أعوذ بالله
    Ibn Al Qayyim may Allah have mercy on him said: ("
    The heart on its journey towards Allah the Exalted is like that of a bird. Love is its head, and fear and hope are its two wings. When the head is healthy, then the two wings will fly well. When the head is cut off, the bird will die. When either of two wings is damaged, the bird becomes vulnerable to every hunter and predator..”
    )

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    Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

    Quote Originally Posted by Linkdeutscher View Post
    No, I never had one to cross her in the first place.
    This is exactly what I am saying, your contribution is out of topic!

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    Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

    Quote Originally Posted by Ayman2 View Post
    This is exactly what I am saying, your contribution is out of topic!
    No, that is not what you were saying.
    You think you know more than my scholar's qiyās? He was more learned than you and all other scholars combined. Yeah, the devil was the greatest scholar too and look where his qiyās of fire being better than tīn got him. Sorry.

    You follow your scholar's qiyās, and I will follow the Qur'ān and Sunnah.

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    Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

    Quote Originally Posted by Abdell View Post
    i got it hahaha

    I used to make those kind of Jokes to poke fun at meth tweekers and hillbillies. hahaha
    That's what I thought you were doing, but then I read other comments.

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    Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

    Quote Originally Posted by Linkdeutscher View Post
    No, that is not what you were saying.
    If you didn't any slaves in your life, I don't see why your comment could be useful to the brother.
    It is just out of topic, that's why I was asking because a contribution should bring him a useful information, not something he will never see!
    Keep it short, concise and simple.

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    Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

    Quote Originally Posted by Ayman2 View Post
    If you didn't any slaves in your life, I don't see why your comment could be useful to the brother.
    It is just out of topic, that's why I was asking because a contribution should bring him a useful information, not something he will never see!
    Keep it short, concise and simple.
    I never said I didn't see any slaves in my life.

    Anyway, it was not off topic. Your posts however that followed were off topic including these posts we are writing right now.
    You think you know more than my scholar's qiyās? He was more learned than you and all other scholars combined. Yeah, the devil was the greatest scholar too and look where his qiyās of fire being better than tīn got him. Sorry.

    You follow your scholar's qiyās, and I will follow the Qur'ān and Sunnah.

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    Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

    Quote Originally Posted by Suedi View Post
    Guess im lucky then, i have always loved arab women Somalis arent too bad either. Persians are the most beautiful of all but like every iranian in sweden is atheist
    This is a very interesting post. First of all, hello there my Germanic brother, I'm Dutch.

    "Persians are the most beautiful of all"

    This is very true, in my opinion. The grace, the beauty, the elegance of the Persian woman is simply unmatched in the world.

    "but like every iranian in sweden is atheist"

    This is the most interesting part of this post. I want to make a thread soon in the lounge about why this is. I did a bit of research as to why this is a couple of months ago. I also read some disturbing things, that atheism is also very rampant in Iran itself.
    Last edited by IlFaraone; 20-08-17 at 10:55 AM.

  34. #34
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    Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

    muslim men and their fantasies of slave girls while sitting next to their lego created imaginery wife....




  35. #35
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    Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

    Quote Originally Posted by Suedi View Post
    since i embraced islam about 1,5 half year ago (swedish male convert) and though i REALLY genuinly think i love Allah swt and his messanger i have a problem that has not really improved... i have a very strange attitude thowards my muslim sisters. Its VERY difficult for me to even put into words, but i will do my best: whenever i come across a muslim sister, i feel... insecure, almost threatened. i genuinley do not know how to act. It might be that muslim women are generally kinda stigmatised here in the west...

    i think it runs deeper though. In a way, most of my past girlfriends and female friends (all are non muslim) i have had in all my adult life are pretty much the polar opposite of how muslim women are expected to act and generally behave. So to meet pious women with such different character is puzzeling.

    My girlfriends/female friends have all been moderate but enthusiastic drinkers, fairly promiscious and secular-feminist minded. When i talk to a muslim woman its almost like meeting a different species of woman. i feel... almost dirty and unworthy compared to their innocense and virtuos character. its almost a little intimidating to me. also what do you do when talking to a woman and youre not allowed to flirt with her? its such a wierd, new situation for me.

    I have the MOST "fear" of swedish sister converts. The generally high level of piety and good character of woman converts from my own culture that i have encountered has seriously caused me to feel insecure about my own iman and character. I admire them greatly because i know many of them go through a lost of prejudice and hate, but they do seem genuinley WIERD to me because they are swedish but at the same time so unlike my sister, cousins and swedish girls in matters of basic values! this makes me feel like a massive hypocrite because even though we share the same faith (and cultural origin) i feel distanced, almost intimidated by them.

    generally im not used to women with this kind of integrity and character who dont see themselves as objects. i want to stress that while i DO think this is the straight path for a woman and that i want this for my future daughters, it feels... UNNATURAL to me
    A man who feels insecure because of women,

    Facepalm

    And you still have Girlfriends?

    If the right path feels "unnatural" to you, then it's because you have been influenced by the path has been leading to Jahannam for so long that it has even affected your mentality,
    Last edited by Saif-Uddin; 20-08-17 at 12:41 PM.
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    Senior Member TURJUMAN's Avatar
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    Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

    Quote Originally Posted by Suedi View Post
    since i embraced islam about 1,5 half year ago (swedish male convert) and though i REALLY genuinly think i love Allah swt and his messanger i have a problem that has not really improved... i have a very strange attitude thowards my muslim sisters. Its VERY difficult for me to even put into words, but i will do my best: whenever i come across a muslim sister, i feel... insecure, almost threatened. i genuinley do not know how to act. It might be that muslim women are generally kinda stigmatised here in the west...

    i think it runs deeper though. In a way, most of my past girlfriends and female friends (all are non muslim) i have had in all my adult life are pretty much the polar opposite of how muslim women are expected to act and generally behave. So to meet pious women with such different character is puzzeling.

    My girlfriends/female friends have all been moderate but enthusiastic drinkers, fairly promiscious and secular-feminist minded. When i talk to a muslim woman its almost like meeting a different species of woman. i feel... almost dirty and unworthy compared to their innocense and virtuos character. its almost a little intimidating to me. also what do you do when talking to a woman and youre not allowed to flirt with her? its such a wierd, new situation for me.

    I have the MOST "fear" of swedish sister converts. The generally high level of piety and good character of woman converts from my own culture that i have encountered has seriously caused me to feel insecure about my own iman and character. I admire them greatly because i know many of them go through a lost of prejudice and hate, but they do seem genuinley WIERD to me because they are swedish but at the same time so unlike my sister, cousins and swedish girls in matters of basic values! this makes me feel like a massive hypocrite because even though we share the same faith (and cultural origin) i feel distanced, almost intimidated by them.

    generally im not used to women with this kind of integrity and character who dont see themselves as objects. i want to stress that while i DO think this is the straight path for a woman and that i want this for my future daughters, it feels... UNNATURAL to me
    You should consider marriage ASAP. It will help you lower your gaze & you'll come to realize our sisters are gems & you've got nothing to fear from them.

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    Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

    Quote Originally Posted by Abdell View Post
    Yup.

    I dont think religiousity matters as much. I noticed its a compromise sisters make provided the guy Is White.

    Allah is the all wise thought...
    Not all sisters, this is a compromise I would never make and I'm sure many other practicing sisters wouldn't either. A while ago I've downloaded an Islamic app (where you can invite a mahram) for marriage and many white converts on the app are not practising (some not even praying). An instant turn off.

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    Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

    Quote Originally Posted by Iwnbd1 View Post
    Not all sisters, this is a compromise I would never make and I'm sure many other practicing sisters wouldn't either. A while ago I've downloaded an Islamic app (where you can invite a mahram) for marriage and many white converts on the app are not practising (some not even praying). An instant turn off.
    To you perhaps, but it is also a trend I've noticed with westernized Muslimah's willing to overlook an awful lot to marry a white revert. It's especially annoying when I'm trying to tell a brother to be patient, to sort his own life and deen out first but he's like "yeah but fulanah bint fulan from work is interested as is so-and so from down the street and such and such from the shop..."

    Used to be hard for white revert brothers to marry, and though there still is a lot of racism out there in the Muslim community but the situation is very fluid and changing rapidly, and can see it changing to a situation where white revert brothers can get married as easily as the white revert sisters can pretty soon with all the negatives attached to that also.
    Last edited by Gingerbeardman; Yesterday at 04:37 AM.
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    Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

    lol

    That's great because in muslim communities, some men don't respect the women, the women are still seen as sex objects regardless of their modesty.

    Turn the intimidation into respect and soon enough it will become normal for you. The more men that feel like this, the better for society.
    'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gingerbeardman View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Iwnbd1 View Post
    Not all sisters, this is a compromise I would never make and I'm sure many other practicing sisters wouldn't either. A while ago I've downloaded an Islamic app (where you can invite a mahram) for marriage and many white converts on the app are not practising (some not even praying). An instant turn off.
    To you perhaps, but it is also a trend I've noticed with westernized Muslimah's willing to overlook an awful lot to marry a white revert. It's especially annoying when I'm trying to tell a brother to be patient, to sort his own life and deen out first but he's like "yeah but fulanah bint fulan from work is interested as is so-and so from down the street and such and such from the shop..."

    Used to be hard for white revert brothers to marry, and though there still is a lot of racism out there in the Muslim community but the situation is very fluid and changing rapidly, and can see it changing to a situation where white revert brothers can get married as easily as the white revert sisters can pretty soon with all the negatives attached to that also.
    It's been like this for a while. For some reason, a lot of South Asian sisters especially are crazy for white reverts. A white revert man can marry an Indian/Pakistani/Bengali wife pretty easily.

    It's even worse if you're a white woman. Men from every ethnicity will be flocking to them.
    Last edited by Stoic Believer; Yesterday at 02:34 PM.

 

 

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