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    Need Guidance - Feeling LOST, HOPELESS, wishing I wasn't alive.....

    I appreciate all of you who have taken the time to read this. I am feeling very lonely, confused and I just don't know which way to turn; I feel like I've had enough of life and that I'm a dead man walking.

    I'll be as brief as possible.

    Due to suffering from loads of family issues; i.e. parents fighting in the middle of the night, incompatibility between them, issues with my siblings, issues with me with my education; I had this intense feeling that something wasn't right; since the age of about 16 I've had this incredible sadness over me and I just can't explain it. I’m 30 years old now. Due to the issues my mum became religious and it certainly has helped her. We were also able to find out from a few reputable sources that indeed black magic had been done including to myself (this was about 8 years ago).

    I tried a few things to help protect myself like eating Ajwah dates; however this caused a very strange sensation and I don't know if this is directly connected to the consumption of ajwah dates but I felt like all of a sudden my sense of awareness had heightened especially around the temples of my head (like my crown chakra had almost been activated). I felt this strange fuzziness around my head; it didn't hurt but it was like some sort of energy field around my head. I've listened to ruqyah however it became evident that nothing was inside of me. I then met a reputable guy who was able to detect whether or not black magic or anything related to the unseen was causing any issues (this guy does not have a fee and prefers to recommend suras etc for ruqyah). He implied that black magic had been done and that a spirit is attached to me, and that this spirit is around in the evenings, Truth be told this head sensation has been more prominent in the evenings. This healer visited my house and my dormitory(where I was residing at the time); he did the azaan and I remember I felt like the sensation had lifted; the fuzziness around my head was no longer there. However he did say that the spirit/jinn may come back and guess what I feel like he was right.

    Five years have now passed and I think subconsciously I tried to ignore it. I kinda felt like I said to myself that I have to live with it or that if I just forget about it that things may become okay. This was five years since I graduated from university. But since those five years I have been severely depressed; I was given antidepressants but the side effects were too great to deal with. I've been to soo many doctors who have prescribed me all sorts of different medications which still haven't helped. In those five years I've been unemployed, living in a daze; I've done some agency work but having graduated from university I should be in a skilled job. I have no sense of urgency, my health has significantly deteriorated, I'm constantly fatigued, depressed, hopeless, I've turned away from my faith, I can't even remember the last time I actually prayed my salah, I don't even know if I believe in Islam anymore. I feel like I'm constantly busy; like a headless chicken but in actuality when I think about what it is that I've done all day - I'VE DONE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! I'm scared shitless thinking about it; I'm lucky my parents are alive because if it wasn't for them I don't know what I would be doing or where I'd be; lurking around somewhere on the streets probably homeless. I also have no friends. I have this horrible brainfog; I feel like I can't even make a single job application - like as if there is a blockage. I just don't see any point in living; I don't experience any joy, I hate what life is; working 9 to 5 and the superficiality of society I hate it all! I'm too much of a coward to kill myself but maybe living is worse than death?!

    All I know is that this head sensation is pretty much still present and intense. This head pressure/fuzziness/static energy or whatever it is is predominately located on the left side of my head and sometimes it fluctuates slightly lower down on my neck or sometimes around the front on my forehead. I'm pretty sure that it’s a case of spirit attachment that isn't in me but is utilising my forcefield for fuel or something around those lines. I've also been to umrah five years ago; my mom took me there even though I felt like I wasn't ready to go but she compelled me. I remember in Mecca especially around the Kaaba this head sensation would always go away; it wasn't present.

    I want this spirit to leave me alone because I feel like the sensations are getting stronger around my head. it's almost like an invisible octopus is sitting on the top of my head and sucking it dry with all its might (I can hear some of you laughing). What do I do especially now that I feel like I've forsaken my deen? I want to do everything I can to get rid of it but I'll just be worshipping Allah to get rid of this thing; I don't even know if I truly believe in islam anymore.

    Please Help; I just want this suffering to end!

  2. #2
    Senior Member Noom's Avatar
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    Re: Need Guidance - Feeling LOST, HOPELESS, wishing I wasn't alive.....

    your case is serious.you need to PM so that we can discuss the matter.you said you dont think you believe in islam anymore.that is serious stuff.you need to find your self again as muslim.

    i recommend what works best for me.
    -pray obligatory prayers regulary and on time and in the mosque.it will calm you down and the rewards are huge.
    -morning and afternoon zikr is must for your situation so that you can instantly feel allahs mercy and blessings in your heart.tranquility and inner peace,it doesnt need to be long just 10-15 min of your time.
    -recite ayatul kursi,surah ikhlas,falaq,alnaas and last two verse of surah baqaraha before sleep and make alot of istighfar(asking forgiveness from allah) as it makes ones life easier and all troubles will inshalah by the mercy of allah go away.

    may allah forgive our sins,shower us with his mercy and blessings in both dunya and hereafter,make us enter jannatul firdows with out hisab.innahu ala kuli shey qadeer

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    Re: Need Guidance - Feeling LOST, HOPELESS, wishing I wasn't alive.....

    Quote Originally Posted by Noom View Post
    your case is serious.you need to PM so that we can discuss the matter.you said you dont think you believe in islam anymore.that is serious stuff.you need to find your self again as muslim.

    i recommend what works best for me.
    -pray obligatory prayers regulary and on time and in the mosque.it will calm you down and the rewards are huge.
    -morning and afternoon zikr is must for your situation so that you can instantly feel allahs mercy and blessings in your heart.tranquility and inner peace,it doesnt need to be long just 10-15 min of your time.
    -recite ayatul kursi,surah ikhlas,falaq,alnaas and last two verse of surah baqaraha before sleep and make alot of istighfar(asking forgiveness from allah) as it makes ones life easier and all troubles will inshalah by the mercy of allah go away.

    may allah forgive our sins,shower us with his mercy and blessings in both dunya and hereafter,make us enter jannatul firdows with out hisab.innahu ala kuli shey qadeer
    Thank you for taking the time to reply; I really appreciate it. I will PM you.

    I've tried soo many things in the past; reciting various surahs, staying in ablution, reciting manzil, doing ruqyah on myself it doesn't work; it's just too much hard work; i'm fed up of it!

    Why do I have to make istighfar? I have not wronged anyone intentionally, I'm a good person. Why is doubting Islam considered so serious?!

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    Re: Need Guidance - Feeling LOST, HOPELESS, wishing I wasn't alive.....

    Very sorry to hear about your situation.

    You should remember that whenever Allaah wills good to a person, he falls into trials.

    The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "When Allaah wills good for His slave, He hastens his punishment in this world, and when He wills bad for His slave, He withholds his sins until he comes with them on the Day of Resurrection." Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2396; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani.

    However, note that this is valid for a Muslim only. If you are not praying and doubting Islam, the first thing you should do is repent and come back to Islam. That would be the most important issue for you which needs immediate attention. Only after that you should concentrate on zikr, dua and reciting of Quran - because these will be only accepted from a Muslim.

    May Allaah make things easy for you and your family. Ameen.

    I also think that these issues should be discussed privately - please PM me once you are free.

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    Need Guidance - Feeling LOST, HOPELESS, wishing I wasn't alive.....

    As-salamu 'alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu, dear bro. Know that there are strangers who care for you, some will read your post and make du'a for you without even posting here.

    Reading these sorts of posts makes me feel really sad, not only because of what I've read, but also because I feel powerless to help

    All I can say is that now is the time that you need to stick to your prayers more than ever, rekindle your relationship with Allah swt, learn your religion and perhaps see if you can get in touch with those who are knowledgeable to get over your doubts

    Sometimes I share the same views as you, I could have typed some of those sentences which you typed

    I sincerely wish the best for you, and I hope you get better and things start to turn a little brighter for you. You'll be in my du'as, in sha' Allah.

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    Re: Need Guidance - Feeling LOST, HOPELESS, wishing I wasn't alive.....

    I have heard that if you start a ruqya (either self ruqya or someone else does ruqya on you) that you can't stop the process until it's finished, until you are cleared.

    If you stop without finishing, your situation will get worse (than before you start the ruqya).

    Because in ruqya, initially shayateen will be annoyed/disturbed, then they will fight back and will gather forces / call more shayateen if need be. So if you stop without finishing, you end up with more shayateen and your situation only gets worse

    Either you start until finish, or don't start at all. Sometimes it takes more than one ruqya, but each ruqya must be done correctly from start to finish.

    May Allah give you hidayah and the support you need
    It was narrated from Jabir bin 'Abdullah that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: "O people, fear Allah and be moderate in seeking a living, for no soul will die until it has received all its provision, even if it is slow in coming. So fear Allah and be moderate in seeking provision; take that which is permissible and leave that which is forbidden. " Sunan Ibn Majah

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    Re: Need Guidance - Feeling LOST, HOPELESS, wishing I wasn't alive.....

    Quote Originally Posted by Faith reloaded View Post
    As-salamu 'alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu, dear bro. Know that there are strangers who care for you, some will read your post and make du'a for you without even posting here.

    Reading these sorts of posts makes me feel really sad, not only because of what I've read, but also because I feel powerless to help

    All I can say is that now is the time that you need to stick to your prayers more than ever, rekindle your relationship with Allah swt, learn your religion and perhaps see if you can get in touch with those who are knowledgeable to get over your doubts

    Sometimes I share the same views as you, I could have typed some of those sentences which you typed

    I sincerely wish the best for you, and I hope you get better and things start to turn a little brighter for you. You'll be in my du'as, in sha' Allah.
    Thank you; your reply reminds me how genuine, compassionate and kind some muslims are.

    Thank you once again.

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    Re: Need Guidance - Feeling LOST, HOPELESS, wishing I wasn't alive.....

    Quote Originally Posted by islamlife00 View Post
    I have heard that if you start a ruqya (either self ruqya or someone else does ruqya on you) that you can't stop the process until it's finished, until you are cleared.

    If you stop without finishing, your situation will get worse (than before you start the ruqya).

    Because in ruqya, initially shayateen will be annoyed/disturbed, then they will fight back and will gather forces / call more shayateen if need be. So if you stop without finishing, you end up with more shayateen and your situation only gets worse

    Either you start until finish, or don't start at all. Sometimes it takes more than one ruqya, but each ruqya must be done correctly from start to finish.

    May Allah give you hidayah and the support you need
    I kinda get what you're saying but because my case is that of spirit attachment I feel like I have to do ruqyah more or less everyday. Ruqyah will probably make the spirit go away temporarily but it probably will come back whenever I've stopped or if I'm unclean or whatever as its not a case of spirit/jinn possession; which makes dealing with this situation all the more complex (I can feel when its around or trying to influence me/use up my energy so I guess that's a good thing).

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    Re: Need Guidance - Feeling LOST, HOPELESS, wishing I wasn't alive.....

    Quote Originally Posted by SpaceWalker View Post
    I kinda get what you're saying but because my case is that of spirit attachment I feel like I have to do ruqyah more or less everyday. Ruqyah will probably make the spirit go away temporarily but it probably will come back whenever I've stopped or if I'm unclean or whatever as its not a case of spirit/jinn possession; which makes dealing with this situation all the more complex (I can feel when its around or trying to influence me/use up my energy so I guess that's a good thing).
    Yes I heard that happens too.The jinn returns, both in attachment and possession situations, sometimes more of them. May Allah remove the evil harming you and ease your suffering
    It was narrated from Jabir bin 'Abdullah that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: "O people, fear Allah and be moderate in seeking a living, for no soul will die until it has received all its provision, even if it is slow in coming. So fear Allah and be moderate in seeking provision; take that which is permissible and leave that which is forbidden. " Sunan Ibn Majah

  10. #10
    unbelivablyweak...strong MalikOne™'s Avatar
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    Re: Need Guidance - Feeling LOST, HOPELESS, wishing I wasn't alive.....

    Quote Originally Posted by islamlife00 View Post
    Yes I heard that happens too.The jinn returns, both in attachment and possession situations, sometimes more of them. May Allah remove the evil harming you and ease your suffering
    I also had a ball of energy force field join the back of my head then a voice from the sky says she now knows your imagination and then everything i was picturing she was saying in a cinematic super loud voice in a female human voice to me its a case if a shaytan pretendinf to show u affection remember even cos im so fine lol i get suicidal but u have to remember to be positive, try an upbeat aura, an unimaginably special being sent u here dont forget it


    Your attitude could send you to heaven your attitude could send you to hell
    Sometimes my mind goes blank i think insane and then post shaytan :FACT




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    unbelivablyweak...strong MalikOne™'s Avatar
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    Re: Need Guidance - Feeling LOST, HOPELESS, wishing I wasn't alive.....

    I was in an extremely bad way stil in some respects am but ive had shifaa to my brain its gone back in age so just be humble and rescue will come

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    Re: Need Guidance - Feeling LOST, HOPELESS, wishing I wasn't alive.....

    Salaams to all!

    Does anyone know if just performing Salah will safeguard you from black magic and spirit attachment? Or is more than just Salah required?

    Many Thanks

    SpaceWalker

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    Re: Need Guidance - Feeling LOST, HOPELESS, wishing I wasn't alive.....

    Start reading Salah and Quran on daily bases and your problem will come in front of you dignosed and then follow guidelines from raqis.

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    Re: Need Guidance - Feeling LOST, HOPELESS, wishing I wasn't alive.....

    Quote Originally Posted by SpaceWalker View Post
    Salaams to all!

    Does anyone know if just performing Salah will safeguard you from black magic and spirit attachment? Or is more than just Salah required?

    Many Thanks

    SpaceWalker
    My own experience, more than salah is required. Regarding Salah itself :

    29:45 Recite, [O Muhammad], what has been revealed to you of the Book and establish prayer. Indeed, prayer prohibits immorality and wrongdoing, and the remembrance of Allah is greater. And Allah knows that which you do

    On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) from the Prophet (ﷺ), who said: Allah (the Mighty and Sublime) says: The first of his actions for which a servant of Allah will be held accountable on the Day of Resurrection will be his prayers. If they are in order, then he will have prospered and succeeded: and if they are wanting, then he will have failed and lost. If there is something defective in his obligatory prayers, the Lord (glorified and exalted be He) will say: See if My servant has any supererogatory prayers with which may be completed that which was defective in his obligatory prayers. Then the rest of his actions will be judged in like fashion. (At-Tirmidhi, Abu Dawud, an-Nasa'i, Ibn Majah and Ahmad)

    I can share what I do regularly, mostly for protection. Some of these I read in the hadith, the rest are suggestions you can find in some ruqya sites. There are dhikr you can say after salah, the ones I wrote below are after those

    Say Bismillah each time I enter the house, enter a room (left foot first for bathroom/toilet), before I eat, before I take off clothes (to change), before I pour hot water/cleaning liquid down the kitchen drain/toilet bowl

    Say 'Allahumma inni audhu bika minal kubthi wal-kabaith' as protection from male and female jinns in najs places. It will put a barrier between you and them.

    After Fajr : Ayatul Kursi 3x An-Nas 3x Al Falaq 3x Al Ikhlas 3x
    Dhikr La ilaha illallah wahdahu la sharika lah lahu al mulk wa lahu al hamd yuhyi wa yumit wahuwa ala kulli shayyin qadr 100x
    Al-Baqarah 285 and 286 each 3x

    After Maghreb : Ayatul Kursi 3x An-Nas 3x Al Falaq 3x Al Ikhlas 3x
    Dhikr La ilaha illallah wahdahu la sharika lah lahu al mulk wa lahu al hamd yuhyi wa yumit wahuwa ala kulli shayyin qadr 10 x
    Al-Baqarah 285 and 286 3x each

    Play audio of whole surah Al-Baqarah every day ( or read it if you can, because you get rewards reading each letter from the Quran)

    Say 'audhu billahi minash shaytanirrajim' whenever I see a jinn or hear waswas. I also say this when suddenly I am feeling extreme emotion like angry, sad etc for no reason.

    Read Surah Al-Kahf the first 10 ayah (this is for Dajjal but I read it every day because I believe we are close to Dajjal's appearance so the shayatins are working harder)

    Read one Surah every day, or at least 10 ayah every day

    If necessary, I will read Al Fatihah 3x Ayatul Kursi 3x An-Nas 3x Al Falaq 3x Al Ikhlas 3x Al-Kahf (first 10 ayah) into water and use this water to drink, to cook, to do wudu/ghusl

    When I feel or see something near me that wants to harm me, I play audio of Adhan (or I will say Adhan) also a few times I say dhikr La ilaha illallah wahdahu la sharika lah above only once and it withdraws

    If a nightmare wakes me up, I say 'audhu billahi minash shaytanirrajim' and spit to the left

    Before sleep, do ablution and say Tasbihat Fatima (If necessary, read Al Fatihah, An-Nas, Al-Falaq, Al-Ikhlas each 3 times as an extra protection)
    It was narrated from Jabir bin 'Abdullah that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: "O people, fear Allah and be moderate in seeking a living, for no soul will die until it has received all its provision, even if it is slow in coming. So fear Allah and be moderate in seeking provision; take that which is permissible and leave that which is forbidden. " Sunan Ibn Majah

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    Re: Need Guidance - Feeling LOST, HOPELESS, wishing I wasn't alive.....

    Quote Originally Posted by islamlife00 View Post
    My own experience, more than salah is required. Regarding Salah itself :

    29:45 Recite, [O Muhammad], what has been revealed to you of the Book and establish prayer. Indeed, prayer prohibits immorality and wrongdoing, and the remembrance of Allah is greater. And Allah knows that which you do

    On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) from the Prophet (ﷺ), who said: Allah (the Mighty and Sublime) says: The first of his actions for which a servant of Allah will be held accountable on the Day of Resurrection will be his prayers. If they are in order, then he will have prospered and succeeded: and if they are wanting, then he will have failed and lost. If there is something defective in his obligatory prayers, the Lord (glorified and exalted be He) will say: See if My servant has any supererogatory prayers with which may be completed that which was defective in his obligatory prayers. Then the rest of his actions will be judged in like fashion. (At-Tirmidhi, Abu Dawud, an-Nasa'i, Ibn Majah and Ahmad)

    I can share what I do regularly, mostly for protection. Some of these I read in the hadith, the rest are suggestions you can find in some ruqya sites. There are dhikr you can say after salah, the ones I wrote below are after those

    Say Bismillah each time I enter the house, enter a room (left foot first for bathroom/toilet), before I eat, before I take off clothes (to change), before I pour hot water/cleaning liquid down the kitchen drain/toilet bowl

    Say 'Allahumma inni audhu bika minal kubthi wal-kabaith' as protection from male and female jinns in najs places. It will put a barrier between you and them.

    After Fajr : Ayatul Kursi 3x An-Nas 3x Al Falaq 3x Al Ikhlas 3x
    Dhikr La ilaha illallah wahdahu la sharika lah lahu al mulk wa lahu al hamd yuhyi wa yumit wahuwa ala kulli shayyin qadr 100x
    Al-Baqarah 285 and 286 each 3x

    After Maghreb : Ayatul Kursi 3x An-Nas 3x Al Falaq 3x Al Ikhlas 3x
    Dhikr La ilaha illallah wahdahu la sharika lah lahu al mulk wa lahu al hamd yuhyi wa yumit wahuwa ala kulli shayyin qadr 10 x
    Al-Baqarah 285 and 286 3x each

    Play audio of whole surah Al-Baqarah every day ( or read it if you can, because you get rewards reading each letter from the Quran)

    Say 'audhu billahi minash shaytanirrajim' whenever I see a jinn or hear waswas. I also say this when suddenly I am feeling extreme emotion like angry, sad etc for no reason.

    Read Surah Al-Kahf the first 10 ayah (this is for Dajjal but I read it every day because I believe we are close to Dajjal's appearance so the shayatins are working harder)

    Read one Surah every day, or at least 10 ayah every day

    If necessary, I will read Al Fatihah 3x Ayatul Kursi 3x An-Nas 3x Al Falaq 3x Al Ikhlas 3x Al-Kahf (first 10 ayah) into water and use this water to drink, to cook, to do wudu/ghusl

    When I feel or see something near me that wants to harm me, I play audio of Adhan (or I will say Adhan) also a few times I say dhikr La ilaha illallah wahdahu la sharika lah above only once and it withdraws

    If a nightmare wakes me up, I say 'audhu billahi minash shaytanirrajim' and spit to the left

    Before sleep, do ablution and say Tasbihat Fatima (If necessary, read Al Fatihah, An-Nas, Al-Falaq, Al-Ikhlas each 3 times as an extra protection)
    JZK will try to add to my daily routines.

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    Re: Need Guidance - Feeling LOST, HOPELESS, wishing I wasn't alive.....

    Quote Originally Posted by islamlife00 View Post
    My own experience, more than salah is required. Regarding Salah itself :

    29:45 Recite, [O Muhammad], what has been revealed to you of the Book and establish prayer. Indeed, prayer prohibits immorality and wrongdoing, and the remembrance of Allah is greater. And Allah knows that which you do

    On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) from the Prophet (ﷺ), who said: Allah (the Mighty and Sublime) says: The first of his actions for which a servant of Allah will be held accountable on the Day of Resurrection will be his prayers. If they are in order, then he will have prospered and succeeded: and if they are wanting, then he will have failed and lost. If there is something defective in his obligatory prayers, the Lord (glorified and exalted be He) will say: See if My servant has any supererogatory prayers with which may be completed that which was defective in his obligatory prayers. Then the rest of his actions will be judged in like fashion. (At-Tirmidhi, Abu Dawud, an-Nasa'i, Ibn Majah and Ahmad)

    I can share what I do regularly, mostly for protection. Some of these I read in the hadith, the rest are suggestions you can find in some ruqya sites. There are dhikr you can say after salah, the ones I wrote below are after those

    Say Bismillah each time I enter the house, enter a room (left foot first for bathroom/toilet), before I eat, before I take off clothes (to change), before I pour hot water/cleaning liquid down the kitchen drain/toilet bowl

    Say 'Allahumma inni audhu bika minal kubthi wal-kabaith' as protection from male and female jinns in najs places. It will put a barrier between you and them.

    After Fajr : Ayatul Kursi 3x An-Nas 3x Al Falaq 3x Al Ikhlas 3x
    Dhikr La ilaha illallah wahdahu la sharika lah lahu al mulk wa lahu al hamd yuhyi wa yumit wahuwa ala kulli shayyin qadr 100x
    Al-Baqarah 285 and 286 each 3x

    After Maghreb : Ayatul Kursi 3x An-Nas 3x Al Falaq 3x Al Ikhlas 3x
    Dhikr La ilaha illallah wahdahu la sharika lah lahu al mulk wa lahu al hamd yuhyi wa yumit wahuwa ala kulli shayyin qadr 10 x
    Al-Baqarah 285 and 286 3x each

    Play audio of whole surah Al-Baqarah every day ( or read it if you can, because you get rewards reading each letter from the Quran)

    Say 'audhu billahi minash shaytanirrajim' whenever I see a jinn or hear waswas. I also say this when suddenly I am feeling extreme emotion like angry, sad etc for no reason.

    Read Surah Al-Kahf the first 10 ayah (this is for Dajjal but I read it every day because I believe we are close to Dajjal's appearance so the shayatins are working harder)

    Read one Surah every day, or at least 10 ayah every day

    If necessary, I will read Al Fatihah 3x Ayatul Kursi 3x An-Nas 3x Al Falaq 3x Al Ikhlas 3x Al-Kahf (first 10 ayah) into water and use this water to drink, to cook, to do wudu/ghusl

    When I feel or see something near me that wants to harm me, I play audio of Adhan (or I will say Adhan) also a few times I say dhikr La ilaha illallah wahdahu la sharika lah above only once and it withdraws

    If a nightmare wakes me up, I say 'audhu billahi minash shaytanirrajim' and spit to the left

    Before sleep, do ablution and say Tasbihat Fatima (If necessary, read Al Fatihah, An-Nas, Al-Falaq, Al-Ikhlas each 3 times as an extra protection)
    Thank you so much for this; I will endeavour to keep referring to this invaluable information Inshallah.

    May Allah reward you in abundance for this and ease your trials.

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    Re: Need Guidance - Feeling LOST, HOPELESS, wishing I wasn't alive.....

    Salaams

    I have been trying to get closer to Allah

    I have been reciting a few ayats/wazaif to protect myself and I know that I'm not doing enough because I suffer from extreme fatigue and laziness with no known medical explanation.

    Recently it seems as if things are becoming extremely worse. I have been arguing with loved ones; saying things that you can't take back. I feel like people are being unkind to me and I'm also arguing with people at work. I also feel like my heart feels emotions a lot more strongly than it ever did.

    I'd like to think I'm trying my best but how on earth does one constantly have to protect themselves; pray 5 times a day and still try to earn a living / survive in this dunya.

    I have been asking Allah that I don't want to live anymore; I want to die now as a Muslim and I want Allah to forgive me of my sins and I want to enter Jannah now.

    I'm just so tired of everything now, tired of crying and my heart is in so much pain I can't bear it.

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    Re: Need Guidance - Feeling LOST, HOPELESS, wishing I wasn't alive.....

    Quote Originally Posted by SpaceWalker View Post
    Thank you so much for this; I will endeavour to keep referring to this invaluable information Inshallah.

    May Allah reward you in abundance for this and ease your trials.
    InshaAllah what I have shared will help. This routine helps me tremendously.

    I know it seems a lot, just do your best. Don't wish for death, you may think you are ready to meet Allah, what if you really are not?
    It was narrated from Jabir bin 'Abdullah that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: "O people, fear Allah and be moderate in seeking a living, for no soul will die until it has received all its provision, even if it is slow in coming. So fear Allah and be moderate in seeking provision; take that which is permissible and leave that which is forbidden. " Sunan Ibn Majah

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    Re: Need Guidance - Feeling LOST, HOPELESS, wishing I wasn't alive.....

    Quote Originally Posted by SpaceWalker View Post
    Salaams

    I have been trying to get closer to Allah

    I have been reciting a few ayats/wazaif to protect myself and I know that I'm not doing enough because I suffer from extreme fatigue and laziness with no known medical explanation.

    Recently it seems as if things are becoming extremely worse. I have been arguing with loved ones; saying things that you can't take back. I feel like people are being unkind to me and I'm also arguing with people at work. I also feel like my heart feels emotions a lot more strongly than it ever did.

    I'd like to think I'm trying my best but how on earth does one constantly have to protect themselves; pray 5 times a day and still try to earn a living / survive in this dunya.

    I have been asking Allah that I don't want to live anymore; I want to die now as a Muslim and I want Allah to forgive me of my sins and I want to enter Jannah now.

    I'm just so tired of everything now, tired of crying and my heart is in so much pain I can't bear it.
    I have been there brother. But it helps to try to do the minimum at least. for example, at least pray your fard salaat. Don't worry about your nawafil. as you get stronger you can gradually increase them. but for now try to fulfil your fard salaat. I found myself dragging myself to pray but i kept at it.

    If you feel the need, take meds to come out of this acute stage, I took SSRIs and felt much better, it helped a lot. Every affliction has a physical as well as a spiritual side to it and the remedy has to be for both as well. Try to eat well, simple nutritious meals, don't skip any.

    These are all afflictions of the shaytaan, remember the last verses of al baqarah, that Allah swt will never burden you more than your capacity. I know you will get better. Trust me.

    May Allah swt replace this sorrow with happiness and heal you perfectly.

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    Re: Need Guidance - Feeling LOST, HOPELESS, wishing I wasn't alive.....

    Please Can you all do dua for me please; I'm feeling very mentally unstable today I don't know why; I've self-harmed already and I want to carry on; I have not been able to say any prayers for the past two days; maybe this is why but I just cant get motivated to do wudu and I just want to self-harm; I have no one to turn to please please can you pray for me.

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    Re: Need Guidance - Feeling LOST, HOPELESS, wishing I wasn't alive.....

    Salaam brother

    You need to seek ruqya.
    This has been going on for too long.
    The jinn will not leave you unless the sihr is destroyed.
    As i can read it is longer than 5 years.
    Self ruqya is best, but in your case it is obvious you need help from a good raqi.
    You need to repent to Allah,

    "Why do I have to make istighfar? I have not wronged anyone intentionally, I'm a good person. Why is doubting Islam considered so serious?!"

    This is your problem right here, we all need to make istighfar, you have to change your mindset.

    Following our daily obligations salah is a must but for those afflicted with ailments of the unseen, more effort is required.
    When Allah swt allows a person to be afflicted, the aim is to make a positive change in your life and to draw nearer to Allah.
    Snap out of it brother and get to work!
    Don't let the waswaas of the sjajtaan get you down.

    Wa salaam
    And the thunder exalts [ Allah ] with praise of Him - and the angels [as well] from fear of Him - and He sends thunderbolts and strikes therewith whom He wills while they dispute about Allah ; and He is severe in assault

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    Re: Need Guidance - Feeling LOST, HOPELESS, wishing I wasn't alive.....

    Quote Originally Posted by SpaceWalker View Post
    Please Can you all do dua for me please; I'm feeling very mentally unstable today I don't know why; I've self-harmed already and I want to carry on; I have not been able to say any prayers for the past two days; maybe this is why but I just cant get motivated to do wudu and I just want to self-harm; I have no one to turn to please please can you pray for me.


    Salams brother,

    Duas for you all the way from Pakistan.

    Stay strong. No matter how you feel, even if you cannot do your salaat, try to make dua, remember that the dua of a person in pain has the highest priority in the heavens... It is the most powerful weapon a believer has...Allah swt will definitely help you, he never lets anyone down. No problem is bigger than Allah swt.

    May Allah swt be your wali and your protector. He is the one we turn to for help and forgiveness. I will pray for your complete recovery. inshallah.

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    Re: Need Guidance - Feeling LOST, HOPELESS, wishing I wasn't alive.....

    Quote Originally Posted by SpaceWalker View Post
    I appreciate all of you who have taken the time to read this. I am feeling very lonely, confused and I just don't know which way to turn; I feel like I've had enough of life and that I'm a dead man walking.

    I'll be as brief as possible.

    Due to suffering from loads of family issues; i.e. parents fighting in the middle of the night, incompatibility between them, issues with my siblings, issues with me with my education; I had this intense feeling that something wasn't right; since the age of about 16 I've had this incredible sadness over me and I just can't explain it. I’m 30 years old now. Due to the issues my mum became religious and it certainly has helped her. We were also able to find out from a few reputable sources that indeed black magic had been done including to myself (this was about 8 years ago).

    I tried a few things to help protect myself like eating Ajwah dates; however this caused a very strange sensation and I don't know if this is directly connected to the consumption of ajwah dates but I felt like all of a sudden my sense of awareness had heightened especially around the temples of my head (like my crown chakra had almost been activated). I felt this strange fuzziness around my head; it didn't hurt but it was like some sort of energy field around my head. I've listened to ruqyah however it became evident that nothing was inside of me. I then met a reputable guy who was able to detect whether or not black magic or anything related to the unseen was causing any issues (this guy does not have a fee and prefers to recommend suras etc for ruqyah). He implied that black magic had been done and that a spirit is attached to me, and that this spirit is around in the evenings, Truth be told this head sensation has been more prominent in the evenings. This healer visited my house and my dormitory(where I was residing at the time); he did the azaan and I remember I felt like the sensation had lifted; the fuzziness around my head was no longer there. However he did say that the spirit/jinn may come back and guess what I feel like he was right.

    Five years have now passed and I think subconsciously I tried to ignore it. I kinda felt like I said to myself that I have to live with it or that if I just forget about it that things may become okay. This was five years since I graduated from university. But since those five years I have been severely depressed; I was given antidepressants but the side effects were too great to deal with. I've been to soo many doctors who have prescribed me all sorts of different medications which still haven't helped. In those five years I've been unemployed, living in a daze; I've done some agency work but having graduated from university I should be in a skilled job. I have no sense of urgency, my health has significantly deteriorated, I'm constantly fatigued, depressed, hopeless, I've turned away from my faith, I can't even remember the last time I actually prayed my salah, I don't even know if I believe in Islam anymore. I feel like I'm constantly busy; like a headless chicken but in actuality when I think about what it is that I've done all day - I'VE DONE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! I'm scared shitless thinking about it; I'm lucky my parents are alive because if it wasn't for them I don't know what I would be doing or where I'd be; lurking around somewhere on the streets probably homeless. I also have no friends. I have this horrible brainfog; I feel like I can't even make a single job application - like as if there is a blockage. I just don't see any point in living; I don't experience any joy, I hate what life is; working 9 to 5 and the superficiality of society I hate it all! I'm too much of a coward to kill myself but maybe living is worse than death?!

    All I know is that this head sensation is pretty much still present and intense. This head pressure/fuzziness/static energy or whatever it is is predominately located on the left side of my head and sometimes it fluctuates slightly lower down on my neck or sometimes around the front on my forehead. I'm pretty sure that it’s a case of spirit attachment that isn't in me but is utilising my forcefield for fuel or something around those lines. I've also been to umrah five years ago; my mom took me there even though I felt like I wasn't ready to go but she compelled me. I remember in Mecca especially around the Kaaba this head sensation would always go away; it wasn't present.

    I want this spirit to leave me alone because I feel like the sensations are getting stronger around my head. it's almost like an invisible octopus is sitting on the top of my head and sucking it dry with all its might (I can hear some of you laughing). What do I do especially now that I feel like I've forsaken my deen? I want to do everything I can to get rid of it but I'll just be worshipping Allah to get rid of this thing; I don't even know if I truly believe in islam anymore.

    Please Help; I just want this suffering to end!
    Subhannallah! may Allah heal you! I'm surprised Wallahi! I'm having the same exact problem!!, this horrible brain fog,, my mind feels so foggy, and I feel dead all of the time like there is no reason, to live I constantly want to be alone and Isolated too, and it feels heavy on my head and very foggy and also I can't concentrate on anything or pay attention to people I forget things right after people tell me them,, and also my older brother is possessed by Jinns, my old neighbor put magic on him according to one of the jinn in him, alhamdullillah he is getting help, but him and my dad said, or the of one jinns said different people put magic on me and my family, So I totally feel for you, may allah help you and cure, I try to listen to Ruqya with headphones before bed it helps me some times, I have a bit of symptoms trust me I know exactly how you feel, for me it has gotten worse too, because I have been feeling extremely lazy.., and have to force myself out of bed,.may allah help and cure us all ameen.

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    Re: Need Guidance - Feeling LOST, HOPELESS, wishing I wasn't alive.....

    Insha'Allah this reply isn't too late but I know what you're going through - the same symptoms happened to me: Cloudy left-side of my head, unstable thoughts, laziness, depression etc

    The first time I had a Jinn in me I followed these videos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXu_-LhEqLE and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=liz1MrkFFq0 - it's basically a ruqyah program

    Stay strong, brother.

 

 

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