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  1. #1
    Poor slave. Abdullah012's Avatar
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    How to tell parents about islam?

    With Ramadan coming very close, there's no way I can longer hide it from my parents.
    Usually I still eat dinner with my parents at around 6pm, so I HAVE to tell them.

    With the Manchester attack still in our memory I'm terrified they'll insult me or mock me etc.

    How do I tell them?

    Please make dua for me brothers and sisters.
    The Love Allah has for Prophet Muhammad ﷺ

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Acm3R7MbO_Q

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    Re: How to tell parents about islam?

    Quote Originally Posted by Abdullah012 View Post
    With Ramadan coming very close, there's no way I can longer hide it from my parents.
    Usually I still eat dinner with my parents at around 6pm, so I HAVE to tell them.

    With the Manchester attack still in our memory I'm terrified they'll insult me or mock me etc.

    How do I tell them?

    Please make dua for me brothers and sisters.
    With regards to "how to tell them", there is no silver bullet/answer. However, I would probably tell them before Ramadhaan, cause you don't want to be fasting and arguing (it kind of ruins your fasts also).

    That's my 2 cents worth of advice.

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    061116 Rifqah's Avatar
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    Re: How to tell parents about islam?

    I'd rather say thank you but I've changed my routine and that I'll fix my own dinner, than tell my family about Islam. I told mine immediately and wished I hadn't.

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    Gender: Male oshirowanen's Avatar
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    Re: How to tell parents about islam?

    Quote Originally Posted by Abdullah012 View Post
    With Ramadan coming very close, there's no way I can longer hide it from my parents.
    Usually I still eat dinner with my parents at around 6pm, so I HAVE to tell them.

    With the Manchester attack still in our memory I'm terrified they'll insult me or mock me etc.

    How do I tell them?

    Please make dua for me brothers and sisters.
    What do your parents think of Muslims?

  5. #5
    pizza is life
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    Re: How to tell parents about islam?

    Quote Originally Posted by Abdullah012 View Post
    With Ramadan coming very close, there's no way I can longer hide it from my parents.
    Usually I still eat dinner with my parents at around 6pm, so I HAVE to tell them.

    With the Manchester attack still in our memory I'm terrified they'll insult me or mock me etc.

    How do I tell them?

    Please make dua for me brothers and sisters.
    where you at? come to mine we'll eat together and spend eid together i've got a spare bedroom too and no women live with me so sleep there if ya want till you feel comfortable in telling your family. i'll teach you quran too if you need help lol

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    Poor slave. Abdullah012's Avatar
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    Re: How to tell parents about islam?

    Quote Originally Posted by oshirowanen View Post
    What do your parents think of Muslims?
    My mom is very open minded and liberal and I have a good relationship with her. If it wasn't for my stepdad I already would have told her months ago.
    Because my stepfather is conservative-leaning and he often makes fun of my hobbies and interests and he is pretty adverse to islam.
    The Love Allah has for Prophet Muhammad ﷺ

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Acm3R7MbO_Q

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    Poor slave. Abdullah012's Avatar
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    Re: How to tell parents about islam?

    Quote Originally Posted by babadods View Post
    where you at? come to mine we'll eat together and spend eid together i've got a spare bedroom too and no women live with me so sleep there if ya want till you feel comfortable in telling your family. i'll teach you quran too if you need help lol
    BarakAllahu feek bro that's really generous, but I don't think that's the right thing to do. I can't just move out all of a sudden for 30 days without saying anything, they'll give me up as lost within a day probably.
    Besides, I live in the Netherlands.
    The Love Allah has for Prophet Muhammad ﷺ

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Acm3R7MbO_Q

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    Gender: Male oshirowanen's Avatar
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    Re: How to tell parents about islam?

    Quote Originally Posted by Abdullah012 View Post
    My mom is very open minded and liberal and I have a good relationship with her. If it wasn't for my stepdad I already would have told her months ago.
    Because my stepfather is conservative-leaning and he often makes fun of my hobbies and interests and he is pretty adverse to islam.
    hmm, how much influence does your step dad have on your mom? Will she stand up for you (I'm assuming yes based on above reply)? Can she tame him?
    Last edited by oshirowanen; 24-05-17 at 12:13 PM.

  9. #9
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    Re: How to tell parents about islam?

    Quote Originally Posted by Abdullah012 View Post
    BarakAllahu feek bro that's really generous, but I don't think that's the right thing to do. I can't just move out all of a sudden for 30 days without saying anything, they'll give me up as lost within a day probably.
    Besides, I live in the Netherlands.
    but you can for 30 days eat out
    ahh too bad bro your an hour away from me
    i hope it goes well and i think what you should do is tell them now before it hits ramadan so they know not to make anything for you etc it's best it's out now than later tbh and just tell them that you're the same son as you have always been and that this won't change anything for you and that you still love them like you have always done, you dutch ppl are really sensitive so i can imagine them saying Oh, mijn God a lot but i guess you'll have to sweeten things down and just tell them that you love them and that nothing has changed etc and just that you choose this way of life.

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    Poor slave. Abdullah012's Avatar
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    Re: How to tell parents about islam?

    Quote Originally Posted by oshirowanen View Post
    hmm, how much influence does your step dad have on your mom? Will she stand up for you (I'm assuming yes based on above reply)? Can she tame him?
    Yes she can insha'Allah. But I'm just afraid they'll think I'm a weirdo who wants to become muslim because of all the attacks.
    The Love Allah has for Prophet Muhammad ﷺ

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Acm3R7MbO_Q

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    Gender: Male oshirowanen's Avatar
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    Re: How to tell parents about islam?

    Quote Originally Posted by Abdullah012 View Post
    Yes she can insha'Allah. But I'm just afraid they'll think I'm a weirdo who wants to become muslim because of all the attacks.
    What if through ramadhan, you ate at the local mosque and told your parents that you've got some activities going on from 6pm onwards which is why you can't make it for dinner? Then after ramadhan, chat to your mom first, get her on your side, then the both of you can tackle your step dad. With only a few days left for ramadha, I don't think this news should be rushed.

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    Poor slave. Abdullah012's Avatar
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    Re: How to tell parents about islam?

    Quote Originally Posted by babadods View Post
    but you can for 30 days eat out
    ahh too bad bro your an hour away from me
    i hope it goes well and i think what you should do is tell them now before it hits ramadan so they know not to make anything for you etc it's best it's out now than later tbh and just tell them that you're the same son as you have always been and that this won't change anything for you and that you still love them like you have always done, you dutch ppl are really sensitive so i can imagine them saying Oh, mijn God a lot but i guess you'll have to sweeten things down and just tell them that you love them and that nothing has changed etc and just that you choose this way of life.
    Perhaps soon when I come out of the closet we can meet haha
    The Love Allah has for Prophet Muhammad ﷺ

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Acm3R7MbO_Q

  13. #13
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    Re: How to tell parents about islam?

    Quote Originally Posted by Abdullah012 View Post
    Perhaps soon when I come out of the closet we can meet haha
    for sure bro!! i tend to visit belgium and stuff and i won't mind coming to the netherlands for a chill too

  14. #14
    Senior Member Muslimahhhhh's Avatar
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    May allah make it easy for you. saying you are muslim is so hard but once you do it you will be truly happy. I had a double life from 16yo to 20yo and I read quran secret and prayer. I could not hide it anymore and I told them. They knew I was investegating islam and I told them this is what I want and alhamduillah they said ok it is your life. talk to your parents that this is what makes you happy. talk to them that this is what you want with your life. show them the mercy of islam and that you won't change because you are muslim. If you ever want to talk I am here. I know what you go trough.

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    اصبر aynina's Avatar
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    Re: How to tell parents about islam?

    Brother, they will not be happy, its a reality, but then again, you will be muslim forever so you will have to go through the talk eventually so you have to just do it, if you can talk yo both parents at once, if u cant take the one ur most comfy around and say i have to say something. I am a muslim. Its a short sentance you can day it fast and then a convo will start and u cant back out anymore.

    May Allah make it easy for you
    يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

    O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

    Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

  16. #16
    Senior Member MuslimThinker's Avatar
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    Re: How to tell parents about islam?

    You can do this inshaAllah. Support is very important.
    Remember the do's and don't for this matter (the part where you want to inform) If you know of them, if not, I believe its good to know how to handle this.
    You'll be much more confident that way. You can speak to more experienced people who have been through this.

    Like some said, if you are not ready, don't rush it. But I understand the situation you are in. Ramadhan is coming. There's always a way to deal with it.

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    Odan .khayriyyah.'s Avatar
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    Re: How to tell parents about islam?

    Quote Originally Posted by Abdullah012 View Post
    With Ramadan coming very close, there's no way I can longer hide it from my parents.
    Usually I still eat dinner with my parents at around 6pm, so I HAVE to tell them.

    With the Manchester attack still in our memory I'm terrified they'll insult me or mock me etc.

    How do I tell them?

    Please make dua for me brothers and sisters.
    There are some posts on another thread and I think they bring up many great points regarding practicing in secret.

    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...=1#post7399251

    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...=1#post7400214

    At the worst, what do you think they will do?

  18. #18
    "رَوْحٌ وَ رَيْحَان" Tayoofa's Avatar
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    Re: How to tell parents about islam?

    Quote Originally Posted by Abdullah012 View Post
    With Ramadan coming very close, there's no way I can longer hide it from my parents.
    Usually I still eat dinner with my parents at around 6pm, so I HAVE to tell them.

    With the Manchester attack still in our memory I'm terrified they'll insult me or mock me etc.

    How do I tell them?

    Please make dua for me brothers and sisters.
    Assalamu Alaykoom

    Allah SWT said : ("Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity ") Quran 2:286


    These links will help you

    She became Muslim in secret and feared that her family might harm her, so she broke the fast one day in Ramadan; does she have to make it up?


    https://islamqa.info/en/188856

    She became Muslim recently and cannot practice Islam openly; how can she pray among her Hindu family?

    https://islamqa.info/en/165426
    Ibn Al Qayyim may Allah have mercy on him said: ("
    The heart on its journey towards Allah the Exalted is like that of a bird. Love is its head, and fear and hope are its two wings. When the head is healthy, then the two wings will fly well. When the head is cut off, the bird will die. When either of two wings is damaged, the bird becomes vulnerable to every hunter and predator..”
    )

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    Poor slave. Abdullah012's Avatar
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    Re: How to tell parents about islam?

    Quote Originally Posted by Tayoofa View Post
    Assalamu Alaykoom

    Allah SWT said : ("Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity ") Quran 2:286


    These links will help you

    She became Muslim in secret and feared that her family might harm her, so she broke the fast one day in Ramadan; does she have to make it up?


    https://islamqa.info/en/188856

    She became Muslim recently and cannot practice Islam openly; how can she pray among her Hindu family?

    https://islamqa.info/en/165426
    JazakAllahu Khayran
    Very helpful.

    I will fast as much as I can insha'Allah.
    Allah understands the intention of the hearts.
    The Love Allah has for Prophet Muhammad ﷺ

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Acm3R7MbO_Q

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    "رَوْحٌ وَ رَيْحَان" Tayoofa's Avatar
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    Re: How to tell parents about islam?

    Quote Originally Posted by Abdullah012 View Post
    JazakAllahu Khayran
    Very helpful.

    I will fast as much as I can insha'Allah.
    Allah understands the intention of the hearts.
    Yes brother fast as much as you can and Allah SWT knows how difficult is your situation and all new muslims arournd the world !

    Always pray in your sujood (Prostration) that Allah SWT open your parents' heart to Islam ..

    And whenever you decide to tell them dont forget to pray first Istikharah prayer ..

    How to pray istikhaarah

    https://islamqa.info/en/2217

    Du'aa:


    ("O Allaah, I seek Your guidance [in making a choice] by virtue of Your knowledge, and I seek ability by virtue of Your power, and I ask You of Your great bounty. You have power, I have none. And You know, I know not. You are the Knower of hidden things. O Allaah, if in Your knowledge, this matter (then it should be mentioned by name) is good for me both in this world and in the Hereafter (or: in my religion, my livelihood and my affairs), then ordain it for me, make it easy for me, and bless it for me. And if in Your knowledge it is bad for me and for my religion, my livelihood and my affairs (or: for me both in this world and the next), then turn me away from it, [and turn it away from me], and ordain for me the good wherever it may be and make me pleased with it.”)
    Last edited by Tayoofa; 26-05-17 at 05:03 PM.
    Ibn Al Qayyim may Allah have mercy on him said: ("
    The heart on its journey towards Allah the Exalted is like that of a bird. Love is its head, and fear and hope are its two wings. When the head is healthy, then the two wings will fly well. When the head is cut off, the bird will die. When either of two wings is damaged, the bird becomes vulnerable to every hunter and predator..”
    )

  21. #21
    Poor slave. Abdullah012's Avatar
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    Re: How to tell parents about islam?

    Quote Originally Posted by Tayoofa View Post
    Yes brother fast as much as you can and Allah SWT knows how difficult is your situation and all new muslims arournd the world !

    Always pray in your sujood (Prostration) that Allah SWT open your parents' heart to Islam ..

    And whenever you decide to tell them dont forget to pray first Istikharah prayer ..

    How to pray istikhaarah

    https://islamqa.info/en/2217

    Du'aa:


    ("O Allaah, I seek Your guidance [in making a choice] by virtue of Your knowledge, and I seek ability by virtue of Your power, and I ask You of Your great bounty. You have power, I have none. And You know, I know not. You are the Knower of hidden things. O Allaah, if in Your knowledge, this matter (then it should be mentioned by name) is good for me both in this world and in the Hereafter (or: in my religion, my livelihood and my affairs), then ordain it for me, make it easy for me, and bless it for me. And if in Your knowledge it is bad for me and for my religion, my livelihood and my affairs (or: for me both in this world and the next), then turn me away from it, [and turn it away from me], and ordain for me the good wherever it may be and make me pleased with it.”)

    May Allah ('azzawajal) reward you.
    The Love Allah has for Prophet Muhammad ﷺ

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Acm3R7MbO_Q

  22. #22
    أبحث مفتاح الدار السلام ibnuadam's Avatar
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    Re: How to tell parents about islam?

    Quote Originally Posted by Abdullah012 View Post
    My mom is very open minded and liberal and I have a good relationship with her. If it wasn't for my stepdad I already would have told her months ago.
    Because my stepfather is conservative-leaning and he often makes fun of my hobbies and interests and he is pretty adverse to islam.
    I'd start with your mom.
    Tell her about your new religion, and how it has changed you for the better.
    Better person, better son, etc.
    Parents tend to empathy more towards their children, than to their spouse.
    But ask her to keep it a secret until the time comes for you to tell your step father.
    Or even she could give advise on how to inform him.

  23. #23
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    Re: How to tell parents about islam?

    Quote Originally Posted by Abdullah012 View Post
    With Ramadan coming very close, there's no way I can longer hide it from my parents.
    Usually I still eat dinner with my parents at around 6pm, so I HAVE to tell them.

    With the Manchester attack still in our memory I'm terrified they'll insult me or mock me etc.

    How do I tell them?

    Please make dua for me brothers and sisters.
    I remembered you today hows Ramadan going for you bro?

  24. #24
    Senior Member MuslimThinker's Avatar
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    Re: How to tell parents about islam?

    Quote Originally Posted by babadods View Post
    I remembered you today hows Ramadan going for you bro?
    Yes Im interested to know how does this go as well.

  25. #25
    Poor slave. Abdullah012's Avatar
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    Re: How to tell parents about islam?

    Quote Originally Posted by babadods View Post
    I remembered you today hows Ramadan going for you bro?
    Quote Originally Posted by MuslimThinker View Post
    Yes Im interested to know how does this go as well.
    Before Ramadan I concluded that I couldn't tell my parents yet.. So I decided to fast as much days as possible.. However, I've now made it all 10 days alhamdulillah!
    Some days I didn't have family diners at all, and if I had, I simply wouldn't eat anything and I would say "I'm not hungry yet, I'll eat it tonight".

    Strange how they haven't put 2 and 2 together yet..,
    The Love Allah has for Prophet Muhammad ﷺ

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Acm3R7MbO_Q

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    Re: How to tell parents about islam?

    Quote Originally Posted by Abdullah012 View Post
    Before Ramadan I concluded that I couldn't tell my parents yet.. So I decided to fast as much days as possible.. However, I've now made it all 10 days alhamdulillah!
    Some days I didn't have family diners at all, and if I had, I simply wouldn't eat anything and I would say "I'm not hungry yet, I'll eat it tonight".

    Strange how they haven't put 2 and 2 together yet..,
    Allah keep it that way, your in my duas bro keep up the good work drop me a message if ya ever want to chat

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    اصبر aynina's Avatar
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    Re: How to tell parents about islam?

    Allahumma barik bro and may Allah make it easy for you

    I just want to share this

    was narrated by Ibn Khuzaymah (1986) and Ibn Hibbaan (7491) from Abu Umaamah al-Baahili who said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “Whilst I was sleeping two men came to me and took my by the arm and brought me to a cragged mountain. They said, ‘Climb up.’ I said, ‘I cannot.’ They said, ‘We will make it easy for you.’ So I climbed up until I was at the top of the mountain. Then I heard loud voices. I said, ‘What are these voices?’ They said, ‘This is the howling of the people of Hell.” Then I was taken until I saw people hanging by their hamstrings, with the sides of their mouths torn and blood pouring from their mouths.’ I said, ‘Who are these?’ He said, ‘These are people who broke their fast before it was time.’” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Mawaarid al-Zam’aan, no. 1509.

    Al-Albaani (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: This is the punishment of those who fasted then broke the fast deliberately before the time for breaking the fast came, so who about those who do not fast at all? We ask Allaah to keep us safe and sound in this world and in the Hereafter.
    يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

    O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

    Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

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    Poor slave. Abdullah012's Avatar
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    Re: How to tell parents about islam?

    Quote Originally Posted by babadods View Post
    Allah keep it that way, your in my duas bro keep up the good work drop me a message if ya ever want to chat
    Thanks bro. I ask Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) to reward you.
    The Love Allah has for Prophet Muhammad ﷺ

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Acm3R7MbO_Q

  29. #29
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    Re: How to tell parents about islam?

    Quote Originally Posted by Abdullah012 View Post
    Thanks bro. I ask Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) to reward you.
    Ameen contact houden ja?

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    Re: How to tell parents about islam?

    Quote Originally Posted by aynina View Post
    Allahumma barik bro and may Allah make it easy for you

    I just want to share this

    was narrated by Ibn Khuzaymah (1986) and Ibn Hibbaan (7491) from Abu Umaamah al-Baahili who said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “Whilst I was sleeping two men came to me and took my by the arm and brought me to a cragged mountain. They said, ‘Climb up.’ I said, ‘I cannot.’ They said, ‘We will make it easy for you.’ So I climbed up until I was at the top of the mountain. Then I heard loud voices. I said, ‘What are these voices?’ They said, ‘This is the howling of the people of Hell.” Then I was taken until I saw people hanging by their hamstrings, with the sides of their mouths torn and blood pouring from their mouths.’ I said, ‘Who are these?’ He said, ‘These are people who broke their fast before it was time.’” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Mawaarid al-Zam’aan, no. 1509.

    Al-Albaani (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: This is the punishment of those who fasted then broke the fast deliberately before the time for breaking the fast came, so who about those who do not fast at all? We ask Allaah to keep us safe and sound in this world and in the Hereafter.
    BarakAllahu feek sis for the reminder.
    I will do averything in my power to make it up to the 30 days insha'Allah.
    The Love Allah has for Prophet Muhammad ﷺ

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Acm3R7MbO_Q

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    Re: How to tell parents about islam?

    Quote Originally Posted by babadods View Post
    Ameen contact houden ja?
    Is goed broeder
    The Love Allah has for Prophet Muhammad ﷺ

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Acm3R7MbO_Q

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    Re: How to tell parents about islam?

    Quote Originally Posted by Abdullah012 View Post
    Is goed broeder
    I speak a little dutch and German ���� be amazed with my magical language skillzzzzzz!

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    Re: How to tell parents about islam?

    Quote Originally Posted by babadods View Post
    I speak a little dutch and German ���� be amazed with my magical language skillzzzzzz!
    Pretty impressive.. Where are you from again?
    The Love Allah has for Prophet Muhammad ﷺ

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Acm3R7MbO_Q

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    Re: How to tell parents about islam?

    Quote Originally Posted by Abdullah012 View Post
    Pretty impressive.. Where are you from again?
    Born and raised in England but parents are from tribal Pakistan/Afghanistan

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    Re: How to tell parents about islam?

    Quote Originally Posted by babadods View Post
    Born and raised in England but parents are from tribal Pakistan/Afghanistan
    There are so many people of knowledge in your country Allahuma barik
    I wish Islam was as organized in the Netherlands as it is in the UK.
    The Love Allah has for Prophet Muhammad ﷺ

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Acm3R7MbO_Q

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    Re: How to tell parents about islam?

    Quote Originally Posted by babadods View Post
    Ameen contact houden ja?
    Ej ow tis geen ned thread hier e
    يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

    O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

    Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

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    Re: How to tell parents about islam?

    Quote Originally Posted by Abdullah012 View Post
    BarakAllahu feek sis for the reminder.
    I will do averything in my power to make it up to the 30 days insha'Allah.
    Wa feek
    يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

    O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

    Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

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    Re: How to tell parents about islam?

    Quote Originally Posted by aynina View Post
    Ej ow tis geen ned thread hier e
    waarom

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    Re: How to tell parents about islam?

    Quote Originally Posted by Abdullah012 View Post
    There are so many people of knowledge in your country Allahuma barik
    I wish Islam was as organized in the Netherlands as it is in the UK.
    It will be one day bro ... one day

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    Re: How to tell parents about islam?

    Quote Originally Posted by babadods View Post
    waarom
    Daarom
    يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

    O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

    Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

 

 

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