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  1. #1
    Senior Member Macbook's Avatar
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    Why aren't you married? - catchy come back phrases

    Salaam to all

    I'm tired of aunties, family and friends asking the dreaded question "why aren't you married"? The other day, whilst driving, my mind was trying to understand why people see marriage as the ultmimate purpose in life. Even of you're successful in your own ways, but you're not married, all of that success goes to waste. That's even more true of you're a woman. So I tried to really bring it back to the basics, what is the one undeniable truth in this life? That we will one day breathe our last breath. So I figured, next time an aunty or whoever else asks me this question, I'll say: dear, I'm not waiting to get married, what I'm waiting for is death. Latter is something I know will happen to me. As for marriage, I don't have a guarantee that it'll happen so I'm not placing all my hopes in that. That'll keep them quiet hopefully.

    So to my sisters out there who face the same predicament, what's your comeback phrase?
    "Hide your good deeds (from the people) just like you hide your evil deeds."

  2. #41
    Odan lonelyniqabi's Avatar
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    Re: Why aren't you married? - catchy come back phrases

    Quote Originally Posted by Fakhri View Post
    "Aunty, well, I thought about your marriage and then I thought, marriage? no thanks."

    (That's one to not be used.
    Ever.
    As tempting as it might be. :] )


    edit-------------

    Just realised OP is from a sister and is addressing sisters.
    I guess it still applies to brothers, though.
    Good one.

  3. #42
    Odan Creamcake's Avatar
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    Re: Why aren't you married? - catchy come back phrases

    'I'm after your son, Aunty Ji.. may I have him. I have envisioned the future with him' (lol joke, don't try that one)
    No one asks me this, I'm the 2nd youngest in 5 siblings, none of whom are married yet. Lol plus if people ask, my parents are always like (to us) ignore them, and they get annoyed when people get nosy or awkward about this, so they're on our side, always Alhamdulillah
    Some people have said funny things on this thread
    And with Him are the keys of the Ghayb (all that is hidden), none knows them but He. And He knows whatever there is in the land and in the sea; not a leaf falls, but He knows it. There is not a grain in the darkness of the earth nor anything fresh or dry, but is written in a Clear Record”
    [al-An’aam 6:59]

  4. #43
    ... Muslimah_08's Avatar
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    Re: Why aren't you married? - catchy come back phrases

    "Allaahu 'alam (Allaah knows best)"
    Last edited by Muslimah_08; 11-04-17 at 03:20 PM.

  5. #44
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    Re: Why aren't you married? - catchy come back phrases

    "I dunno, ask Allah"

    "Allah didn't write it"

    "How are you still married?"

  6. #45

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    Re: Why aren't you married? - catchy come back phrases

    Good thing guys dont have to deal with these questions. But if anyone asks, I'd just say Im gay, lol.

  7. #46
    Odan Faith reloaded's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vitriolic_Sage View Post
    Good thing guys dont have to deal with these questions. But if anyone asks, I'd just say Im gay, lol.
    looool sick one

  8. #47

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    Re: Why aren't you married? - catchy come back phrases

    Quote Originally Posted by Faith reloaded View Post
    looool sick one
    Although there is one super nosy uncle...gets all up in my business. I'd prolly tell him, "if i get married, your wife's heart will break,".

    Lol.

  9. #48
    061116 Rifqah's Avatar
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    Re: Why aren't you married? - catchy come back phrases

    "It's on my list after the tattoo I want to get."

    They'll be so shocked about the tattoo idea that their attention will shift.


    (No don't )

    اَللّٰهُمَّ قِنِيْ شَرَّ نَفْسِيْ وَاعْزِمْ لِيْ عَليٰ أَرْ شَدِ أَمْرِيْ

    Allaahumma qinii sharra nafsii wa’-zim lii ‘alaa arshadi amrii. (‘Imran ibn Husayn. Musnad Ahmad #19141)

    O Allah, protect me from the evil of my self and give me the determination to do what is most right in my affairs.

    Aameen

  10. #49
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    Re: Why aren't you married? - catchy come back phrases

    Need to graduate first!

  11. #50
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    Re: Why aren't you married? - catchy come back phrases

    My uncle asked me that at my brother's wedding a few years back. Actually he said are you next on the list and I said nope too much of a pain. He whispered 'i agree, not worth it.' With his wife a few feet away..aha. He's funny.

    Other than that no one ever asks me. They don't even ask when I'm gonna get a boyfriend anymore. I think they're giving up

    Just say you're not interested in marriage right now and move on. If they keep pushing it tell them to mind their business. But say it in a nice way obviously especially if it's family.

  12. #51
    Odan
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    Re: Why aren't you married? - catchy come back phrases

    The following may not be appropriate for a real auntie... but would drop the jaws for fake aunties and ladies in their 30s and 40s..

    Fake auntie "when are you getting married?"
    You "When your husband divorces you... unless of course, he wants both of us", then smile sweetly.

    I must warn, however, it may give you a bad reputation - but married women will stay well away from you!

  13. #52
    Odan .khayriyyah.'s Avatar
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    Re: Why aren't you married? - catchy come back phrases

    Quote Originally Posted by In my Opinion View Post
    The following may not be appropriate for a real auntie... but would drop the jaws for fake aunties and ladies in their 30s and 40s..

    Fake auntie "when are you getting married?"
    You "When your husband divorces you... unless of course, he wants both of us", then smile sweetly.

    I must warn, however, it may give you a bad reputation - but married women will stay well away from you!
    oh my
    "Has the time not come for those who have believed that their hearts should become humbly submissive at the remembrance of Allah and what has come down of the truth?" (57:16)

  14. #53

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    Re: Why aren't you married? - catchy come back phrases

    Quote Originally Posted by In my Opinion View Post
    The following may not be appropriate for a real auntie... but would drop the jaws for fake aunties and ladies in their 30s and 40s..

    Fake auntie "when are you getting married?"
    You "When your husband divorces you... unless of course, he wants both of us", then smile sweetly.

    I must warn, however, it may give you a bad reputation - but married women will stay well away from you!
    That's great.

  15. #54
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    Re: Why aren't you married? - catchy come back phrases

    Best catchphrase from a woman who is not married.

    "I can make money on my own, thank you very much"

    -_-;

  16. #55
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    Re: Why aren't you married? - catchy come back phrases

    Quote Originally Posted by Ya'sin View Post
    what does he drive? I don't want a Toyota, I want a Mercedes or a Ferrari
    not into all that mixed race stuff, doesn't drive me crazy unlike some nutties who jump up and down about it

    your son will have to find my wali AND convince him

    I told you I was waiting, your son has disappointed us all, terrible, he has a job, he has some ugly Toyota I bet, but he couldn't even approach my wali, unbelievable

    wants me to do it all for him for 50 quid chi

    Clearly never driven a toyota landcruiser...

  17. #56
    Odan
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    Re: Why aren't you married? - catchy come back phrases

    Quote Originally Posted by nonameakhi View Post
    google mercedes cla. getting delivered fresh off the conveyor belt at the end of April. 0 mileage

    come to think of it i think you need to pay me LOL

    ps with the diamond grill pack (on the merc that is)

    What and only 50 quid for mahr????

  18. #57
    pizza is life babadods's Avatar
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    Re: Why aren't you married? - catchy come back phrases

    Quote Originally Posted by Macbook View Post
    Salaam to all

    I'm tired of aunties, family and friends asking the dreaded question "why aren't you married"? The other day, whilst driving, my mind was trying to understand why people see marriage as the ultmimate purpose in life. Even of you're successful in your own ways, but you're not married, all of that success goes to waste. That's even more true of you're a woman. So I tried to really bring it back to the basics, what is the one undeniable truth in this life? That we will one day breathe our last breath. So I figured, next time an aunty or whoever else asks me this question, I'll say: dear, I'm not waiting to get married, what I'm waiting for is death. Latter is something I know will happen to me. As for marriage, I don't have a guarantee that it'll happen so I'm not placing all my hopes in that. That'll keep them quiet hopefully.

    So to my sisters out there who face the same predicament, what's your comeback phrase?
    not a sister but ive been asked plenty since the age of 16 to be exact an still do especially now since im 21
    some of my replies follows:
    Q: Why aren't you married?
    A: i am, you just wasnt invited, jking its none of your business

    Q: Why aren't you married?
    A: im not ready yet

    Q: Why aren't you married?
    A: allah hasn't thrown a woman in my lap yet

    Q: Why aren't you married?
    A: i am, to myself

    Q: Why aren't you married?
    A:i was but she died

    Q: Why aren't you married?
    A: kuz im ugly

    Q: Why aren't you married?
    A: why haven't you offered your daughter to be yet?

    Q: Why aren't you married?
    A: give me a great job and money ooo if your'e feeling lucky pay for the wedding (nikha and waleemah) and im set

    Q: Why aren't you married?
    A: im waiting for you to marry

    Q: Why aren't you married?
    A: i was expecting for you to find me someone

    Q: Why aren't you married?
    A: why are you not married? that's a more important question since you're older than me its more important for you.

    cant remember other ones but i just have too much to say lol

  19. #58
    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Miss Foxxy's Avatar
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    Re: Why aren't you married? - catchy come back phrases

    I get asked this ALL the time, it's annoying....

    My response:

    We all living out of our decree... it will happen when it's meant to, I aint stressing, why are you?!
    Do not entertain evil thoughts or it will sow a seed in your soul...

  20. #59
    Abu-Tawheed Saif-Uddin's Avatar
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    Re: Why aren't you married? - catchy come back phrases

    Quote Originally Posted by Macbook View Post
    Salaam to all

    I'm tired of aunties, family and friends asking the dreaded question "why aren't you married"? The other day, whilst driving, my mind was trying to understand why people see marriage as the ultmimate purpose in life. Even of you're successful in your own ways, but you're not married, all of that success goes to waste. That's even more true of you're a woman. So I tried to really bring it back to the basics, what is the one undeniable truth in this life? That we will one day breathe our last breath. So I figured, next time an aunty or whoever else asks me this question, I'll say: dear, I'm not waiting to get married, what I'm waiting for is death. Latter is something I know will happen to me. As for marriage, I don't have a guarantee that it'll happen so I'm not placing all my hopes in that. That'll keep them quiet hopefully.

    So to my sisters out there who face the same predicament, what's your comeback phrase?
    Do you have a legitimate reason to delay the Sunnah of the messenger صلى الله عليه و سلم?

    If you have the means and are old enough, you should get married,

    Allah عز و جل says marriage helps us lower our he and guard our modesty, acts as a shield against Munkar
    http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

    "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

    – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

  21. #60
    Abu-Tawheed Saif-Uddin's Avatar
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    Re: Why aren't you married? - catchy come back phrases

    As usual the marriage section is a mess
    http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

    "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

    – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

  22. #61
    pizza is life babadods's Avatar
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    Re: Why aren't you married? - catchy come back phrases

    Quote Originally Posted by Saif-Uddin View Post
    Do you have a legitimate reason to delay the Sunnah of the messenger صلى الله عليه و سلم?

    If you have the means and are old enough, you should get married,

    Allah عز و جل says marriage helps us lower our he and guard our modesty, acts as a shield against Munkar
    i agree with you ... thats a very good point made there.

  23. #62
    tranquillity, patient believer's Avatar
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    Re: Why aren't you married? - catchy come back phrases

    How are you still married?
    lol
    Ya Allah,
    Make me a stronger person today. Make me a better person out of all these. It is no longer bearable for me for my heart is aching and You are the only One who knows how I feel. Nothing is making sense to myself and for anyone else for that matter especially to the one person I wish to understand me better than anybody else.
    "Don't use the sharpness of your tongue on the mother who taught you how to speak

  24. #63
    Outcast aynina's Avatar
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    Re: Why aren't you married? - catchy come back phrases

    Quote Originally Posted by patient believer View Post
    How are you still married?
    lol
    Loooll
    يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

    O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

    Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

  25. #64
    A word to the wise Jade Vine's Avatar
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    Re: Why aren't you married? - catchy come back phrases

    Quote Originally Posted by Macbook View Post
    Salaam to all

    I'm tired of aunties, family and friends asking the dreaded question "why aren't you married"? The other day, whilst driving, my mind was trying to understand why people see marriage as the ultmimate purpose in life. Even of you're successful in your own ways, but you're not married, all of that success goes to waste. That's even more true of you're a woman. So I tried to really bring it back to the basics, what is the one undeniable truth in this life? That we will one day breathe our last breath. So I figured, next time an aunty or whoever else asks me this question, I'll say: dear, I'm not waiting to get married, what I'm waiting for is death. Latter is something I know will happen to me. As for marriage, I don't have a guarantee that it'll happen so I'm not placing all my hopes in that. That'll keep them quiet hopefully.

    So to my sisters out there who face the same predicament, what's your comeback phrase?
    you're 50. Why aren't you dead already?

  26. #65
    :] mazuiz's Avatar
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    Re: Why aren't you married? - catchy come back phrases

    Quote Originally Posted by Jade Vine View Post
    you're 50. Why aren't you dead already?
    That's sure to start a fight

  27. #66
    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Miss Foxxy's Avatar
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    Re: Why aren't you married? - catchy come back phrases

    Quote Originally Posted by Jade Vine View Post
    you're 50. Why aren't you dead already?
    omg!
    Do not entertain evil thoughts or it will sow a seed in your soul...

  28. #67
    A word to the wise Jade Vine's Avatar
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    Re: Why aren't you married? - catchy come back phrases

    Quote Originally Posted by mazuiz View Post
    That's sure to start a fight
    nah, they'll just look stunned and maybe a bit horrified. But not more marriage questions, I promise. That was the point, right?

  29. #68
    Abu-Tawheed Saif-Uddin's Avatar
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    Re: Why aren't you married? - catchy come back phrases

    This thread seems like a joke by certain overdue individuals, overdue for marriage that is...
    http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

    "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

    – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

  30. #69
    :] mazuiz's Avatar
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    Re: Why aren't you married? - catchy come back phrases

    Quote Originally Posted by Jade Vine View Post
    nah, they'll just look stunned and maybe a bit horrified. But not more marriage questions, I promise. That was the point, right?
    No more questions, yeah. Aunts Probably never gonna talk to you again either lol

  31. #70
    Odan
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    Re: Why aren't you married? - catchy come back phrases

    Quote Originally Posted by Jade Vine View Post
    you're 50. Why aren't you dead already?
    Lol!

    I'm always tempted to say... but I love myself so much... I'm not sure I can share myself.

    I'm not a narcissist btw.

  32. #71
    Abu-Tawheed Saif-Uddin's Avatar
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    Re: Why aren't you married? - catchy come back phrases

    There must be something wrong with giving a straightforward civilised answer, because we need "catchy come backs"
    http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

    "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

    – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

  33. #72
    O Tumultuous Heart... Indefinable's Avatar
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    Re: Why aren't you married? - catchy come back phrases

    So...

    Why aren't you [all] married yet?


    (jk)
    “And release the Waves of Justice and answer the call
    The call from the Echoes of the Oppressed”


  34. #73
    A word to the wise Jade Vine's Avatar
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    Re: Why aren't you married? - catchy come back phrases

    Quote Originally Posted by mazuiz View Post
    No more questions, yeah. Aunts Probably never gonna talk to you again either lol
    yeah, is that bad?

 

 

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