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  1. #1
    Artist aynina's Avatar
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    Gifts for the spouse



    Please don't close this it's not nice.

    So i have actually had this concern for several days now i'm totally serious.

    How do you give your husband a gift if you're a housewife, cus u dont have any money, or it's his own, like "hiya bought u a gift", man checks his bank acc and sees it right there...

    I mean, he buys us food, furniture, clothes, doc appointments everything goes to him, all the bills, he might even come home with flowers one day and i have to be there realising without this man i'd be on the street and he even buys me things for pleasure, and i can not give him one thing in return?

    how do you go about this? i already feel guilty.. how does it work?

  2. #41
    Odan Gingerbeardman's Avatar
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    Re: Gifts for the spouse

    Quote Originally Posted by aynina View Post


    Please don't close this it's not nice.

    So i have actually had this concern for several days now i'm totally serious.

    How do you give your husband a gift if you're a housewife, cus u dont have any money, or it's his own, like "hiya bought u a gift", man checks his bank acc and sees it right there...

    I mean, he buys us food, furniture, clothes, doc appointments everything goes to him, all the bills, he might even come home with flowers one day and i have to be there realising without this man i'd be on the street and he even buys me things for pleasure, and i can not give him one thing in return?

    how do you go about this? i already feel guilty.. how does it work?


    We tend to do things differently here in the UK, or at least most families I know. The man brings in the money, but the women has responsibility over the household, so is given so much for herself and the household bills and shopping etc.
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  3. #42
    061116 Rifqah's Avatar
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    Re: Gifts for the spouse

    Working on tajweed and reciting him an ayah or small surah would be a gift for which you wouldn't need money.
    I heard Al-Buḵari say, “I have never eaten leek", So I asked, “And why is that?” He replied, “I hate to annoy anyone with its foul smell".
    Op. cit. 12:445

  4. #43
    Tawakkul... iRepIslam's Avatar
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    وعليكم السلام و رحمة الله و بركاته

    Awww just make him nice food. Let him rest in Sha Allah. Fulfill your rights as a wife, be there for him, his comfort, his escape.

    Save up if you can and treat him with an imamah or itr.

    Donate sadaqah on his behalf in Sha Allah.

    Just be that wife who takes care of her husband to the best of ability iA.

    You're a gift to each other in Sha Allah
    إقراء القران فإنه يأتي يوم القيامة شفيعا لأصحابه

  5. #44
    anti-BS
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    Re: Gifts for the spouse

    It really depends on the guy and on the gift... you wouldnt buy him an iphone from his money... that cant be hidden in his bills!

    If it is something you know he would use and like, and is very reasonably priced then go ahead...

    Anyway it is a better idea to ask him for some monthly money that you can spend on yourself... and maybe use that to buy him something...
    *
    *
    * typing from my phone, excuse the mess

  6. #45
    Artist aynina's Avatar
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    Re: Gifts for the spouse

    Quote Originally Posted by SheSaid View Post
    Do people not having savings ?

    You should have a good amount of savings especially as a woman.

    This scenario sounds like a nightmare.
    Well i do but im guessing that would go into furniture or new clothes before the marriage

  7. #46
    Artist aynina's Avatar
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    Re: Gifts for the spouse

    Quote Originally Posted by InTheBegining View Post
    Disclaimer:spouse needed before gift
    Seriously?

  8. #47
    Artist aynina's Avatar
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    Re: Gifts for the spouse

    @.Hajar. @Gingerbeardman @muzzybee thanks for the advice i homestly feel les bad about it now lol

  9. #48
    Odan m7md's Avatar
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    Re: Gifts for the spouse

    Quote Originally Posted by aynina View Post


    Please don't close this it's not nice.

    So i have actually had this concern for several days now i'm totally serious.

    How do you give your husband a gift if you're a housewife, cus u dont have any money, or it's his own, like "hiya bought u a gift", man checks his bank acc and sees it right there...

    I mean, he buys us food, furniture, clothes, doc appointments everything goes to him, all the bills, he might even come home with flowers one day and i have to be there realising without this man i'd be on the street and he even buys me things for pleasure, and i can not give him one thing in return?

    how do you go about this? i already feel guilty.. how does it work?
    Honestly gifts from a wife r of different sort, and they r not as such looked upon or expected to gift their husbands,
    but if its about the money then u can sure save bit by bit from what he give u, and thats sure ur money,

    and no need to feel guilty about it coz relationship requirements and roles r different for each spouse. All in all the best gift from a woman is loyalty.

    One should make him/herself so amazing that other feels its a gift to have her with him.

  10. #49
    Odan m7md's Avatar
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    Re: Gifts for the spouse

    Quote Originally Posted by aynina View Post
    Well i know thats what men would have said, but would u never think of all the things u do for her

    Idk
    Id feel guilty rly

    Would u buy her gifts?
    She does the house work is its a good split,
    just that one is paid other isnt monetized ,, economically they both count as value creation,

  11. #50
    Artist aynina's Avatar
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    Re: Gifts for the spouse

    Quote Originally Posted by m7md View Post
    She does the house work is its a good split,
    just that one is paid other isnt monetized ,, economically they both count as value creation,
    Yea that sounds correct actually

  12. #51
    A word to the wise Jade Vine's Avatar
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    Re: Gifts for the spouse

    Quote Originally Posted by aynina View Post


    Please don't close this it's not nice.

    So i have actually had this concern for several days now i'm totally serious.

    How do you give your husband a gift if you're a housewife, cus u dont have any money, or it's his own, like "hiya bought u a gift", man checks his bank acc and sees it right there...

    I mean, he buys us food, furniture, clothes, doc appointments everything goes to him, all the bills, he might even come home with flowers one day and i have to be there realising without this man i'd be on the street and he even buys me things for pleasure, and i can not give him one thing in return?

    how do you go about this? i already feel guilty.. how does it work?
    I buy my husband gifts from our common bank account, and he does the same. I don't think it matters where the money comes from (or at least it shouldn't matter)...

  13. #52
    Artist aynina's Avatar
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    Re: Gifts for the spouse

    Quote Originally Posted by Jade Vine View Post
    I buy my husband gifts from our common bank account, and he does the same. I don't think it matters where the money comes from (or at least it shouldn't matter)...
    Sounds good sis im not stressing anymore lol after all we do the household, which he hopefully will appreciate

  14. #53
    Odan shay5's Avatar
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    Re: Gifts for the spouse

    Why should I give him small gifts when I have given him the biggest gift? Myself! I have sacrificed living with my family to come live with him so he should be grateful for that every single day...then I will give him an even bigger gift when I bear his children....5 little shays ...
    Allah is greater than my pain...

  15. #54
    Odan m7md's Avatar
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    Re: Gifts for the spouse

    Quote Originally Posted by shay5 View Post
    Why should I give him small gifts when I have given him the biggest gift? Myself! I have sacrificed living with my family to come live with him so he should be grateful for that every single day...then I will give him an even bigger gift when I bear his children....5 little shays ...
    True,
    Its even difficult for me or a man to accept gifts from his wife,
    and thats y there arnt man gift options for men

  16. #55
    Odan shay5's Avatar
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    Re: Gifts for the spouse

    Quote Originally Posted by m7md View Post
    True,

    and thats y there arnt man gift options for men
    Gifts for men are kind of boring but there are some cool desk gadgets, satchels, flasks you can buy...doesn't always have to be the generic perfume or socks
    Allah is greater than my pain...

  17. #56
    Senior Member HelloEverybody's Avatar
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    Re: Gifts for the spouse

    Buy the men some electronics

  18. #57
    Odan m7md's Avatar
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    Re: Gifts for the spouse

    Quote Originally Posted by shay5 View Post
    Gifts for men are kind of boring but there are some cool desk gadgets, satchels, flasks you can buy...doesn't always have to be the generic perfume or socks
    yep,

    I find the new culture of pressuring women into this and others not that nice honestly,,
    now women feel a need just as a man to tell their potential before marriage where they r working whats their profession etc.. its actually very sad,

  19. #58
    Wanderer Stoic Believer's Avatar
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    Re: Gifts for the spouse

    Quote Originally Posted by shay5 View Post
    Gifts for men are kind of boring but there are some cool desk gadgets, satchels, flasks you can buy...doesn't always have to be the generic perfume or socks
    Just buy him clothes.

  20. #59
    Odan
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    Re: Gifts for the spouse

    Quote Originally Posted by -qed- View Post
    Lol sounds great actually. Especially since they don't have time to prepare.
    Yes, surprise is key element...In sha'Allah he is cool about surprises

  21. #60

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    Re: Gifts for the spouse

    his money is still your money, absolutely nothing wrong with buying him a gift with his own money unless of course you're planning on buying him something ridiculously expensive that he'll never use

    I'm sure he'll appreciate the thought as long as its something he wants

    Lets be honest though - best gift for a husband is a huge pot of biryani!

  22. #61
    Odan shay5's Avatar
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    Re: Gifts for the spouse

    Quote Originally Posted by Stoic Believer View Post
    Just buy him clothes.
    No...
    Allah is greater than my pain...

  23. #62
    Senior Member HelloEverybody's Avatar
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    Re: Gifts for the spouse

    Quote Originally Posted by shay5 View Post
    No...
    why not?

  24. #63
    I wonder Ya'sin's Avatar
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    Re: Gifts for the spouse

    Quote Originally Posted by SheSaid View Post
    Do people not having savings ?

    You should have a good amount of savings especially as a woman.

    This scenario sounds like a nightmare.
    Are you being serious? I'm surprised you're asking this question as if people have money in the bank.

    People are struggling financially, some people may have savings others can't even pay for the bare necessities. Then you have others homeless.

    'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

    So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

  25. #64
    Odan Creamcake's Avatar
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    Re: Gifts for the spouse

    What do males even like as gifts.. when I buy stuff for my bros/dad I always struggle and have to ask them specifically what they want.. whereas I find it to so much easier shopping for sisters, mum, friends. I guess male shopping is a lot less stressful because there's less options.. I don't know, but yeah things like watch, wallet, perfume, clothing, gadgets, gift experiences, spring to mind.. but it's not really exciting stuff.
    And with Him are the keys of the Ghayb (all that is hidden), none knows them but He. And He knows whatever there is in the land and in the sea; not a leaf falls, but He knows it. There is not a grain in the darkness of the earth nor anything fresh or dry, but is written in a Clear Record”
    [al-An’aam 6:59]

  26. #65
    I wonder Ya'sin's Avatar
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    Re: Gifts for the spouse

    I'll be serious on this thread

    Aynina, if he is a good man, all he'll want is your gratitude, you to be a grateful wife, look after his home, look after him and your kids and be a nice wife. Smile at him, listen to him and just respect him.

    If you don't have the money then that's not a big deal. Most Muslims are so immersed in consumerism that they rely on it for their happiness too.

    Make a nice meal for him maybe.
    'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

    So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

 

 

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