Hello & Welcome to our community. Is this your first visit? Register
Ads by Muslim Ad Network


Page 8 of 8 FirstFirst ... 678
Results 281 to 298 of 298
  1. #1
    Umm Kulthoom Rumaysah~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    4,694
    Mentioned
    170 Post(s)
    Quoted
    3698 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    352

    problems with men today

    What is it to be the one in charge of your home and the one that has authority?

    men these days seem to complain too much. complaining about women, their wives, feminism, complaining about their wives/women complaining, how tired they are when they get home, how women 'nag' them as soon as they step in. All the time complaining!

    Why are you complaining, just deal with it. So what if your wife doesn't cook when you get home and she starts talking about other things you didn't want to hear. Why can't she do that? she's a woman. Why can't you handle it?

    Why do we always have to tell sisters be like this when a man is upset or be like that when he comes home, don't talk too much, make sure the food is done etc
    when we don't tell brothers the same thing about women, that she is doing things like this because there is an issue going on with her and you're supposed to find a way to deal with it. Not sulk, get angry, over emotional and complain. This is what women do.
    شَكَوْتُ إلَى وَكِيعٍ سُوءَ حِفْظِي
    فَأرْشَدَنِي إلَى تَرْكِ المعَاصي
    وَأخْبَرَنِي بأَنَّ العِلْمَ نُورٌ
    ونورُ الله لا يهدى لعاصي

  2. #281
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Gender
    Girl Unspecified
    Posts
    243
    Mentioned
    13 Post(s)
    Quoted
    201 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    11

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by myeverything View Post
    yes, I admit it .. it's the majority u r 100 % right, but does that make him the best option for a woman ? I don't think so .. a woman will try her best to look for the better man who usually makes part of the minority. Because quality traits of a man ( can apply to women too) mostly lies in minority and not in majority, generally speaking. Plus,men can't be busier than prophet ( peace be upon him) and he did help out his wives.

    to consider helping your wife with house chores is lunacy is extreme. But let's say u didn't mean it literally. In this case I would say a healthy/ less stressful marriage/successful enjoyable marriage demands a degree of lunacy ( from both sides) that's just my views^^

    As a women who did little to zero housework all her life, I don't mind housework, cooking ..etc ..( i think it's a bit awesome/ cute to try the role of traditional wife at least for a change) .. life is endless adventures and experiences for me

    It's just the mindset itself that I can't stand it .. that a man put house chores at top of his priority list while searching for a wife .. It's a big put off and a red flag for me, dunno about other women, though.

    I wrote too much lol

    OK In short, It's the man's stance on housework that matters most to me. If he sees it as obligatory on the wife and it's her duty and she MUST do it/has no favor in doing it. See her as a less of a wife and at fault if stops doing that for a while or so, for whatever reason .. then he's not man enough for me .. he can hire a maid better ..

    On the other hand, if the man asks his wife to cook him a meal, clean house, do laundry ..etc but he's deep inside convinced it's not obligatory on her to do it and doesn't make a big fuss of it if she fall short in housework/ cooking ..etc ..from time to time and generally he see it as Ihsan/ favor of her then yes .. that's the man in my eyes.

    However, I do urge women to try to make life comfy and cozy for their husbands, especially if they're housewives and he works long hours. But still there're off days/ weekends/ vacations that can show true color of men and their true stance of the house chores and wives ...




    couldn't agree more.

    You can not just make it messier just because the wife will clean it up. Is it so hard (for example) for some guys to actually wash their plate after dinner? It's really appreciated from the wife if he can at least take care of some simple stuff like that, than just dumping the plate in the sink waiting for her to wash it. How much does it take to wash a plate? not even half a minute.... get real people, help each other in a marriage. You won't be less of a man just because you help in some housework.

    If both works outside, then both should work inside too.
    If the man works outsite, the wife should work inside.
    If the woman works outsite, the man should work inside.

    Let's say the man took a break from work for a couple of days but the woman still works. Will he still demand her to fix food when she comes back just because she is the wife in the household? Makes no sence for me. He should be able to cook for himself too. Who want's to marry a man who acts like a baby?

    Just help each others, it's so simple.... Some men with big egos can't accept this. This is why I rather marry a Swedish revert who does not have weird cultural stuff inplanted in his head. Call me judgemental, but I rather wait 100years for a Swedish revert or living alone than marryin someone who follows what his culture does without using his own brain. All people are not the same. All husbands are not the same. All wives are not the same too. Some may be happy getting bossed around while others actually get sick when someone does not trust them. You can't implant whatever you feel like in everyones heads cuz this is not how the human brain works.

  3. #282
    1of the volatile beings myeverything's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    4,290
    Mentioned
    151 Post(s)
    Quoted
    1546 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    241

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by P1RAT3N View Post
    You can not just make it messier just because the wife will clean it up. Is it so hard (for example) for some guys to actually wash their plate after dinner? It's really appreciated from the wife if he can at least take care of some simple stuff like that, than just dumping the plate in the sink waiting for her to wash it. How much does it take to wash a plate? not even half a minute.... get real people, help each other in a marriage. You won't be less of a man just because you help in some housework.

    If both works outside, then both should work inside too.
    If the man works outsite, the wife should work inside.
    If the woman works outsite, the man should work inside.

    Let's say the man took a break from work for a couple of days but the woman still works. Will he still demand her to fix food when she comes back just because she is the wife in the household? Makes no sence for me. He should be able to cook for himself too. Who want's to marry a man who acts like a baby?

    Just help each others, it's so simple.... Some men with big egos can't accept this. This is why I rather marry a Swedish revert who does not have weird cultural stuff inplanted in his head. Call me judgemental, but I rather wait 100years for a Swedish revert or living alone than marryin someone who follows what his culture does without using his own brain. All people are not the same. All husbands are not the same. All wives are not the same too. Some may be happy getting bossed around while others actually get sick when someone does not trust them. You can't implant whatever you feel like in everyones heads cuz this is not how the human brain works.
    yeah .. This is pretty much what I've said .. If u ok with the person deen and akhlaq be flexible on other stuff .. it's not worth it to lose a good person for such petty reasons, but each to their own anyways..

    BTW what's with the Swedish husband thing these days on ummah forum lol

    Alhamdulillah lots of Muslim men practice Islamic culture into their marriages and put it over their race culture. This is not something limited to Swedish Muslim men.

    May I ask what's your ethnicity? .. to me u sound Arab^^ or someone who lived among Arab all her life .. like Amazigh for example they're originally not Arab but I do consider them Arab e.g. Kurdish, Amazigh, ..etc these minorities mixed with Arab from a very long time .. so they Arab in their habits and minds without even realizing it lol
    How merciful Allah on me by giving me respite,and I persist in my sins and Allah shields me

  4. #283
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Gender
    Girl Unspecified
    Posts
    243
    Mentioned
    13 Post(s)
    Quoted
    201 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    11

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by myeverything View Post
    yeah .. This is pretty much what I've said .. If u ok with the person deen and akhlaq be flexible on other stuff .. it's not worth it to lose a good person for such petty reasons, but each to their own anyways..

    BTW what's with the Swedish husband thing these days on ummah forum lol

    Alhamdulillah lots of Muslim men practice Islamic culture into their marriages and put it over their race culture. This is not something limited to Swedish Muslim men.

    May I ask what's your ethnicity? .. to me u sound Arab^^ or someone who lived among Arab all her life .. like Amazigh for example they're originally not Arab but I do consider them Arab e.g. Kurdish, Amazigh, ..etc these minorities mixed with Arab from a very long time .. so they Arab in their habits and minds without even realizing it lol
    lol No I am not Arab even tho I speak fluent arabic. I am born and raised in Sweden hence my referal to Swedish people xD

  5. #284

    Account Disabled

    Join Date
    Nov 2017
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    21
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Quoted
    10 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    0

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by P1RAT3N View Post
    lol No I am not Arab even tho I speak fluent arabic. I am born and raised in Sweden hence my referal to Swedish people xD
    From what I've heard, Sweden has very promiscuous people. Ergh.

  6. #285
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Gender
    Girl Unspecified
    Posts
    243
    Mentioned
    13 Post(s)
    Quoted
    201 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    11

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by Sorrow' View Post
    From what I've heard, Sweden has very promiscuous people. Ergh.

  7. #286
    1of the volatile beings myeverything's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    4,290
    Mentioned
    151 Post(s)
    Quoted
    1546 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    241

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by P1RAT3N View Post
    lol No I am not Arab even tho I speak fluent arabic. I am born and raised in Sweden hence my referal to Swedish people xD
    I know u born and raised in Sweden but still u have origin .. what's that ? u don't have to answer if u don't feel like it
    How merciful Allah on me by giving me respite,and I persist in my sins and Allah shields me

  8. #287

    Account Disabled

    Join Date
    Nov 2017
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    21
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Quoted
    10 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    0

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by P1RAT3N View Post
    Like zina there is in abundance among the people. Correct?

  9. #288
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Gender
    Girl Unspecified
    Posts
    243
    Mentioned
    13 Post(s)
    Quoted
    201 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    11

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by myeverything View Post
    I know u born and raised in Sweden but still u have origin .. what's that ? u don't have to answer if u don't feel like it
    Oh my.. Everyone knows I am Swedish now... getting popular I see..

    My parents are from two (different) countries outside of Europe. They are not arab nor do they have arabic roots. I dunno but they learned arabic somehow and decided to make it my mother language. I grew in Sweden being independent only by following Islamic rules. They did never let their cultures influence me in any way and I never saw any cultural stuff in our house. It's either islamic rules or nothing at all.

    Actually, I dont know what to call myself. So I just say Swedish cuz I am born there and it's easier that way. But tbh I don't feel like belonging in any country.

  10. #289
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Gender
    Girl Unspecified
    Posts
    243
    Mentioned
    13 Post(s)
    Quoted
    201 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    11

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by Sorrow' View Post
    Like zina there is in abundance among the people. Correct?
    Hard to say... But I can somehow agree on that.

    If it's more than other countries, idk sorry but I can't answer because I never set foot somewhere else to be able to give proper info.

  11. #290
    1of the volatile beings myeverything's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    4,290
    Mentioned
    151 Post(s)
    Quoted
    1546 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    241

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by P1RAT3N View Post
    Oh my.. Everyone knows I am Swedish now... getting popular I see..

    My parents are from two (different) countries outside of Europe. They are not arab nor do they have arabic roots. I dunno but they learned arabic somehow and decided to make it my mother language. I grew in Sweden being independent only by following Islamic rules. They did never let their cultures influence me in any way and I never saw any cultural stuff in our house. It's either islamic rules or nothing at all.

    Actually, I dont know what to call myself. So I just say Swedish cuz I am born there and it's easier that way. But tbh I don't feel like belonging in any country.
    Alhamdulliah for following Islamic rules in your household. Actually the answer to my question was somehow in the bold part But It's OK as I said earlier

    Quote Originally Posted by myeverything View Post
    I know u born and raised in Sweden but still u have origin .. what's that ? u don't have to answer if u don't feel like it
    How merciful Allah on me by giving me respite,and I persist in my sins and Allah shields me

  12. #291
    VERSION : Alpha 6.6 Aetos's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    183
    Mentioned
    7 Post(s)
    Quoted
    110 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    15

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by Rumaysah~ View Post
    What is it to be the one in charge of your home and the one that has authority?

    men these days seem to complain too much. complaining about women, their wives, feminism, complaining about their wives/women complaining, how tired they are when they get home, how women 'nag' them as soon as they step in. All the time complaining!

    Why are you complaining, just deal with it. So what if your wife doesn't cook when you get home and she starts talking about other things you didn't want to hear. Why can't she do that? she's a woman. Why can't you handle it?

    Why do we always have to tell sisters be like this when a man is upset or be like that when he comes home, don't talk too much, make sure the food is done etc
    when we don't tell brothers the same thing about women, that she is doing things like this because there is an issue going on with her and you're supposed to find a way to deal with it. Not sulk, get angry, over emotional and complain. This is what women do.

    I dont know where you have seen this kind of men sister.I am a convert and I have seen how both muslims and non muslims behaving completely different then the kind of man you describe.Anyway,you are right.A woman who is happy will never behave in a way that will "tire" a man.And of course they cant deal with it,we arent that mentally strong to deal with a woman who "nags",but if we all learnt how the Prophet saws behaved with his wives,if we learn that in details before we even search for a wife,then we will never have an unhappy wife who nags.If one side of the coin is straight,the other side is straight too.I guess whats left is to make the right questions before marriage to see how "straight" the brother is ...

  13. #292
    Odan
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    13,373
    Mentioned
    403 Post(s)
    Quoted
    6625 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    583

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by myeverything View Post
    yes, I admit it .. it's the majority u r 100 % right, but does that make him the best option for a woman ? I don't think so .. a woman will try her best to look for the better man who usually makes part of the minority. Because quality traits of a man ( can apply to women too) mostly lies in minority and not in majority, generally speaking. Plus,men can't be busier than prophet ( peace be upon him) and he did help out his wives.

    to consider helping your wife with house chores is lunacy is extreme. But let's say u didn't mean it literally. In this case I would say a healthy/ less stressful marriage/successful enjoyable marriage demands a degree of lunacy ( from both sides) that's just my views^^

    As a women who did little to zero housework all her life, I don't mind housework, cooking ..etc ..( i think it's a bit awesome/ cute to try the role of traditional wife at least for a change) .. life is endless adventures and experiences for me

    It's just the mindset itself that I can't stand it .. that a man put house chores at top of his priority list while searching for a wife .. It's a big put off and a red flag for me, dunno about other women, though.

    I wrote too much lol

    OK In short, It's the man's stance on housework that matters most to me. If he sees it as obligatory on the wife and it's her duty and she MUST do it/has no favor in doing it. See her as a less of a wife and at fault if stops doing that for a while or so, for whatever reason .. then he's not man enough for me .. he can hire a maid better ..

    On the other hand, if the man asks his wife to cook him a meal, clean house, do laundry ..etc but he's deep inside convinced it's not obligatory on her to do it and doesn't make a big fuss of it if she fall short in housework/ cooking ..etc ..from time to time and generally he see it as Ihsan/ favor of her then yes .. that's the man in my eyes.

    However, I do urge women to try to make life comfy and cozy for their husbands, especially if they're housewives and he works long hours. But still there're off days/ weekends/ vacations that can show true color of men and their true stance of the house chores and wives ...




    couldn't agree more.
    I did not say not helping, I'm pointing out that for the majority of marriages the majority of the housework is done by women. Even for those women that work they still do the bulk of the work. I think if I were to suggest otherwise would be an insult to women. If a husband say does 5-10% of the housework is still means 90-95% is done by the wife. It's not even worth mentioning he does this. Yes it's better than nothing and I'm sure she'll say she's grateful for it but really it's not much and she could easily do all of it.

    He'll have this artificial warm glow over him because he'll think he's doing his bit. What's worse is that much of that work he'll do as and when it pleases him. In that case she still is carrying a load of stress because she does not know if X is going to get done and whether she'll end up picking it up.

    Either a husband should do a sizeable % or otherwise just do that 5% and keep quiet about it.

    I posted once what I do but can't find it. Have a search for it...maybe I need to make some mods to it.

  14. #293
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    116
    Mentioned
    5 Post(s)
    Quoted
    51 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    12

    Re: problems with men today

    This argument is really weird.

  15. #294
    Muslim
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    2,379
    Mentioned
    128 Post(s)
    Quoted
    1753 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    126

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by AmantuBillahi View Post
    In islam the women are to serve and be obident to their husbands.
    The prophet (saws) said that prostration to other than Allah is forbidden but had it been allowed then it would be the women prostration to their husbands(brief summary of hadith)

    That being the case , women should do all they can like make sure their husbands are satisfied in all possible ways. That is a means of them getting closer to Allah. That's your job. Obviously being obident in that which is halal and not obidience in sin.

    That being said , I believe you are correct in that you said , men shouldn't complain about everything. True , we should deal with it even though it's not perfect. Understand that our rights are not being fulfilled, the world is a mess - which is why we are complaining. Never the less , complaining doesn't solve the world's problems, being firm and proving with actions and deeds certainly does help.

    Make du'a for us "men" inshallah. We are in the end times. Allah knows our situations.
    Lol what the hell. Don't remember typing this message. Cringe.

  16. #295
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    37
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Quoted
    20 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    1

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by AmantuBillahi View Post
    Lol what the hell. Don't remember typing this message. Cringe.
    Why is it cringe?

  17. #296
    Muslim
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    2,379
    Mentioned
    128 Post(s)
    Quoted
    1753 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    126

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by factory View Post
    Why is it cringe?
    I sound so bitter , and I'm talking kind of lame. Oh well.

  18. #297
    Umm Kulthoom Rumaysah~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    4,694
    Mentioned
    170 Post(s)
    Quoted
    3698 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    352

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by Deen95 View Post
    I think the op just does not like cooking.
    You've got her all figured out
    she might even be allergic to kitchens
    شَكَوْتُ إلَى وَكِيعٍ سُوءَ حِفْظِي
    فَأرْشَدَنِي إلَى تَرْكِ المعَاصي
    وَأخْبَرَنِي بأَنَّ العِلْمَ نُورٌ
    ونورُ الله لا يهدى لعاصي

  19. #298

    Account Disabled

    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    13
    Mentioned
    2 Post(s)
    Quoted
    32 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    0

    Re: problems with men today

    The problem I see is in the Muslim women, is that they demand the world be given to them and put pressure on the men.

    Talk about a more flagrant abuse of 'power'. Do one wrong, and you're useless; trying to make right and you're not a real man and she puts on an attitude. How do you defeat the hungry devil in her?

    All these Muslim women, for no other reason than pure black evil, put on pounds of makeup and flaunt themselves in tight attire to make the lives of men more difficult. They wish to court many men, only to strip their worth, laugh at them, and proceed destroying them. It's all a sick sport. A vy for attention and making themselves feel better to the detriment of guess who? The men. Are they that sad that they have to put down the opposite gender to feel valuable? People.with cognizance see all this show for what it is: useless.

    Even non-Muslims do not play games the way these Muslim women I see play. They don't try to strip your worth because she can and you're a man, so put up with it.

    Such blackness and treachery.

    This is why I avoid such women like the black plague. Their negative aura only life sucks out.
    Last edited by Prince_of; 09-11-17 at 07:02 PM.

 

 

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
All times are GMT. The time now is 11:17 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.2
Copyright © 2017 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging v3.2.7 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2017 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
vBulletin Skin By: PurevB.com

MPADC.com Islamic Web Hosting | Muslim Ad Network | Islamic Nasheeds | Islamic Mobile App Developement Android & iPhone | Islamic Web Hosting : Muslim Designers : Labbayk Nasheeds : silk route jilbab: Hijab: : Web Islamic Newsletter: Islamic Web Hosting

Students of Arabic Forum | Hijab Shop