Hello & Welcome to our community. Is this your first visit? Register
Ads by Muslim Ad Network


Page 2 of 8 FirstFirst 1234 ... LastLast
Results 41 to 80 of 298
  1. #1
    Umm Kulthoom Rumaysah~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    4,709
    Mentioned
    170 Post(s)
    Quoted
    3710 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    353

    problems with men today

    What is it to be the one in charge of your home and the one that has authority?

    men these days seem to complain too much. complaining about women, their wives, feminism, complaining about their wives/women complaining, how tired they are when they get home, how women 'nag' them as soon as they step in. All the time complaining!

    Why are you complaining, just deal with it. So what if your wife doesn't cook when you get home and she starts talking about other things you didn't want to hear. Why can't she do that? she's a woman. Why can't you handle it?

    Why do we always have to tell sisters be like this when a man is upset or be like that when he comes home, don't talk too much, make sure the food is done etc
    when we don't tell brothers the same thing about women, that she is doing things like this because there is an issue going on with her and you're supposed to find a way to deal with it. Not sulk, get angry, over emotional and complain. This is what women do.
    شَكَوْتُ إلَى وَكِيعٍ سُوءَ حِفْظِي
    فَأرْشَدَنِي إلَى تَرْكِ المعَاصي
    وَأخْبَرَنِي بأَنَّ العِلْمَ نُورٌ
    ونورُ الله لا يهدى لعاصي

  2. #41
    Victory is promised... Deeni Akh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    9,432
    Mentioned
    771 Post(s)
    Quoted
    7141 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    947

    Re: problems with men today

    A woman who understands her husband's feelings and situations and knows the right time to speak to him is a gem.

  3. #42
    Odan shezad's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    1,495
    Mentioned
    29 Post(s)
    Quoted
    130 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    98

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by Rumaysah~ View Post
    What is it to be the one in charge of your home and the one that has authority?

    men these days seem to complain too much. complaining about women, their wives, feminism, complaining about their wives/women complaining, how tired they are when they get home, how women 'nag' them as soon as they step in. All the time complaining!

    Why are you complaining, just deal with it. So what if your wife doesn't cook when you get home and she starts talking about other things you didn't want to hear. Why can't she do that? she's a woman. Why can't you handle it?

    Why do we always have to tell sisters be like this when a man is upset or be like that when he comes home, don't talk too much, make sure the food is done etc
    when we don't tell brothers the same thing about women, that she is doing things like this because there is an issue going on with her and you're supposed to find a way to deal with it. Not sulk, get angry, over emotional and complain. This is what women do.
    Sister with all due respect I think you should change your wording to SOME men because not all men are like this, some of us show a lot of appreciation for our female kin. You've not met every single man on this planet so it's unfair to label all men in this manner, this goes for brothers too mind, they too should not label all women the same either.

    In order for both sexes to get along there has to be some sort of level of understanding and maturity otherwise people will just keep hating on one another (not saying you're hating on anyone) and will keep going around in circles.
    He who loses money, loses much.

    He who loses a friend, loses more.

    He who loses faith, loses ALL.

  4. #43
    Odan
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    13,394
    Mentioned
    403 Post(s)
    Quoted
    6639 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    584

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by Rumaysah~ View Post
    Thank you! finally
    maybe brothers will take it better when it's coming from their own gender
    Guess you missed the posts by @iguess.

  5. #44
    Patience is a virtue The Poet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    654
    Mentioned
    45 Post(s)
    Quoted
    432 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    55

    Re: problems with men today



    The world would be a better place if men never complain about their wives and overlook all their faults. At the end of the day, women are the weaker creatures so men should be understanding and try to patiently put up with them, no matter how difficult they are.

    I'm really fed up with the one sided cultural approach towards marriage where women are responsible for everything and it's always their fault if anything goes wrong. We're created from a bent rib, so it's not the end of the world or an issue if men come home and find their wives haven't cleaned the house or cooked them a meal. They should just make excuses for their wives and give them a hand.
    “And We have already created man and know what his soul whispers to him, and We are closer to him than (his) jugular vein.” (Quran 50:16)

  6. #45
    Umm Kulthoom Rumaysah~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    4,709
    Mentioned
    170 Post(s)
    Quoted
    3710 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    353

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by iguess View Post
    "Oh, just come home and give her whatever she needs" - you sound like a brat. Why is it so hard for you to decide to put off your complaining till the husband has gotten some rest? No ones telling you you can never say anything. If hes been working hard outdoors, when he comes home, why cant YOU give him what HE needs? Why is it he has to work to support you but you whine about having a meal ready for him or being asked to zip your lip for a few minutes till hes gotten to relax? Its not all about you. You say a woman will fo things for her husband when she's happy and satisfied - is that what Islam teaches? Sit on your ever expanding backside and wait for your husband to make you happy first before you do what you're supposed to? Making your spouse happy is an obligation, even more so for the wife since the husband gas greater rights over her and has the right to be obeyed! What if I switched it around and said a husband will be willing to listen to his wife's whining if he is made to feel happy and satisfied first? Has that ever occurred to you? Or how about this - since both husband and wife are supposed to look after one another, and his rights over you are greater than your rights over him, why don't you be the more mature individual and give him his rights first? Because sitting and moaning about what he does and doesn't do and waiting for HIM to take the initiative with everything actually DISEMPOWERS you. It makes you a powerless and passive object who cannot influence her own marriage because she has to wait for someone else to make the first move and they may or may not do it. And if you or your husband die while hes displeased with you because you found it too hard to be quiet for a few minutes when he came home and let him relax or cook him a good meal after hed been working hard to support you, and you were waiting around for him to give you what you want first, guess what? You may be going to Hell! I hope the satisfaction of feeling like you're a victim would be worth Hellfire for you.
    lol where do I even start. You completely missed my point. Firstly calm down.
    Secondly, this isn't about whether women should do those things you mentioned or not. It's not a 'rights' game, I don't care who gives whose rights first. As far as I see it both have been working, one inside and one outside.
    Women also have things that they need which a lot men are falling short in providing. This dismissing and belittling of women and their complaints because "husband always comes first otherwise he will be angry and we can't have that now can we" needs to be sorted out. I understand anger at major things but why are some men today getting angry over things like this? Why not as the man overlook it or deal with the root cause? they're supposed to be more in control of their emotions but these days they are just as emotional as women they just don't see it.

    btw I don't see any hadith that talks about a lot of these rules people (men) have made for women about what they should and shouldn't do. This is an individual thing and each couple will work differently. Not all men want to be cooked for, not all women will women want to talk out their problems, not everyone is tired after work. Where does this all come from especially the issue of talking about problems when the husband comes back from work.

    Back home for example some people don't work 9-5, men are in and out of the house during all times of the day in some cases. They can't follow this made up advice, this is more like a western thing and I question where it came from. Women in those societies also don't need to 'unload' so much on to their husbands because they are surrounded by family and support. A lot of sisters in the west don't have that and they have husbands who demand they stay at home with the kids so she has no place really to talk if the husband don't want to listen. I think it's just another case of men not wanting to deal with women as they are and take responsibility. "oh women, they talk too much, they nag too much, they don't respect us, this and that".

    What happened to leading by example. If you want to use this example of that you bring up of 'shutting up and cooking' then here is what I think would be much more effective than what some do today. You come home, there's nothing cooked. Don't yell and scream like a maniac, don't get angry at her. Take charge, find out what happened, find out what's wrong with her, you cook or get food, overlook it, forgive it but remind her nicely of what you expect. She will feel ashamed or snap out of her bad mood. Women are simple, they are just different. Who says females are more complicated and difficult to understand than men? Did Allah and his messenger say it or men today while they were complaining.
    Last edited by Rumaysah~; 26-09-16 at 08:40 PM.
    شَكَوْتُ إلَى وَكِيعٍ سُوءَ حِفْظِي
    فَأرْشَدَنِي إلَى تَرْكِ المعَاصي
    وَأخْبَرَنِي بأَنَّ العِلْمَ نُورٌ
    ونورُ الله لا يهدى لعاصي

  7. #46
    heh Pippin1376's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Gender
    Girl Unspecified
    Posts
    24,809
    Mentioned
    889 Post(s)
    Quoted
    2995 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    650

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by iguess View Post
    his rights over you are greater than your rights over him,
    Um...what?
    مَّن ذَا الَّذِي يُقْرِضُ اللّهَ قَرْضًا حَسَنًا فَيُضَاعِفَهُ لَهُ أَضْعَافًا كَثِيرَةً وَاللّهُ يَقْبِضُ وَيَبْسُطُ وَإِلَيْهِ تُرْجَعُونَ

    "Who is he that will loan to Allah a beautiful loan, which Allah will double unto his credit and multiply many times?
    It is Allah that giveth (you) Want or plenty, and to Him shall be your return."
    Surah al-Baqarah
    [2:245]

    .:.
    .:. Perfer et Obdura : Dolor Hic Tibi Proderit Olim .:.
    Be patient and strong : someday this pain will be useful to you

    .:.
    ...said the spider to the fly...

  8. #47

    Account Disabled

    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    387
    Mentioned
    6 Post(s)
    Quoted
    199 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    0

    Re: problems with men today

    Women are a lot like men .Some of them act badly because they've had a hard life or have been mistreated.But, like men, some of them are just jerks.

  9. #48
    Umm Kulthoom Rumaysah~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    4,709
    Mentioned
    170 Post(s)
    Quoted
    3710 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    353

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by Deeni Akh View Post
    A woman who understands her husband's feelings and situations and knows the right time to speak to him is a gem.
    As is a man who is in control and understands her feelings and the situation the times she does speak to him 'at the wrong time', the time she doesn't cook, the time she is angry for no reason, the time she is tired, the times she is just being a female and doing what females do. The man who doesn't end up being a female along with her seems to be becoming something rare.

    These days it's all "this selfish brat, this immature this and that, how dare she speak to her husband when he walks in".
    he didn't his get peace of quiet, the world is over, how could she... get over it people. This rule isn't just for men.
    شَكَوْتُ إلَى وَكِيعٍ سُوءَ حِفْظِي
    فَأرْشَدَنِي إلَى تَرْكِ المعَاصي
    وَأخْبَرَنِي بأَنَّ العِلْمَ نُورٌ
    ونورُ الله لا يهدى لعاصي

  10. #49
    Odan
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    13,394
    Mentioned
    403 Post(s)
    Quoted
    6639 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    584

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by Rumaysah~ View Post
    As is a man who is in control and understands her feelings and the situation the times she does speak to him 'at the wrong time', the time she doesn't cook, the time she is angry for no reason, the time she is tired, the times she is just being a female and doing what females do. The man who doesn't end up being a female along with her seems to be becoming something rare.

    These days it's all "this selfish brat, this immature this and that, how dare she speak to her husband when he walks in".
    he didn't his get peace of quiet, the world is over, how could she... get over it people. This rule isn't just for men.
    That's just ridiculous..you are just ranting, go lie down in a dark room.

  11. #50
    Odan
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    1,668
    Mentioned
    112 Post(s)
    Quoted
    637 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    111

    Re: problems with men today

    Being in charge in layman terms usually translates to "I iz the man you gotta obey me".

    Some people (both male & female) think marriage is just about the man being catered to by the woman. That mindset won't be changed just by reading a post.... but they'll find out sooner or later.
    Last edited by Ni'mah; 26-09-16 at 09:07 PM.

  12. #51
    Internal Screaming shay5's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    8,069
    Mentioned
    175 Post(s)
    Quoted
    3662 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    333

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by aabdall_23 View Post
    You sound like an experienced, evolutionary feminist.

    In all cases, if you want men to be considerate of you, you too shall be considerate to them (even if a little due to your makeup).

    You're marrying a human too, not a robot.
    Not today Aabdall...you're better than this...
    “Whoever wants to purify his heart must prefer Allah over and above his own desires.” .

  13. #52
    Umm Kulthoom Rumaysah~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    4,709
    Mentioned
    170 Post(s)
    Quoted
    3710 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    353

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by zi-zizou View Post
    That's just ridiculous..you are just ranting, go lie down in a dark room.
    no reason according to males today, the truth is there is usually a reason
    I'm not talking about screaming and yelling either because I don't believe women are supposed to act like that.
    شَكَوْتُ إلَى وَكِيعٍ سُوءَ حِفْظِي
    فَأرْشَدَنِي إلَى تَرْكِ المعَاصي
    وَأخْبَرَنِي بأَنَّ العِلْمَ نُورٌ
    ونورُ الله لا يهدى لعاصي

  14. #53
    Senior Member Ajabah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    708
    Mentioned
    29 Post(s)
    Quoted
    338 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    45

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by Rumaysah~ View Post
    Who says females are more complicated and difficult to understand than men? Did Allah and his messenger say it or men today while they were complaining.
    I've wondered this also..
    Let not the free disposal (and affluence) of the disbelievers throughout the land deceive you.

    [Surah Aali-'Imraan: V. 196]

  15. #54
    Internal Screaming shay5's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    8,069
    Mentioned
    175 Post(s)
    Quoted
    3662 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    333

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by Ajabah View Post
    I've wondered this also..
    There is a hadith about us being from a crooked rib.....don't know if that has anything to do with any of this...
    “Whoever wants to purify his heart must prefer Allah over and above his own desires.” .

  16. #55
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    295
    Mentioned
    11 Post(s)
    Quoted
    103 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    32

    Re: problems with men today

    AsSalaamu Alaikum.

    Thank you for raising this point. The silence of a man is a great response.

  17. #56
    Land of Poets...
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    1,274
    Mentioned
    116 Post(s)
    Quoted
    904 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    107

    Re: problems with men today

    I don't like people who complain men or women. Tell them to shut up and get on with it.

  18. #57
    Victory is promised... Deeni Akh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    9,432
    Mentioned
    771 Post(s)
    Quoted
    7141 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    947

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by Rumaysah~ View Post
    As is a man who is in control and understands her feelings and the situation the times she does speak to him 'at the wrong time', the time she doesn't cook, the time she is angry for no reason, the time she is tired, the times she is just being a female and doing what females do. The man who doesn't end up being a female along with her seems to be becoming something rare.

    These days it's all "this selfish brat, this immature this and that, how dare she speak to her husband when he walks in".
    he didn't his get peace of quiet, the world is over, how could she... get over it people. This rule isn't just for men.
    Look try to understand sister. No one is saying that wives shouldn't have their feelings considered or that they must always obey their husband like servants.

    All I'm saying is find a good time to speak to your husband and work your schedule around his. You have that flexibility as you're at home all day, he doesn't as he needs to go to work every day and come back at the same time. So when you're saying things like why do you have to prepare food and not be able to express your concerns/any issues right when your husband comes home shows a lack of appreciation for him working all day and providing for you and secondly, you don't care about his feelings and needs at that moment.

    Women also have times where they go through difficulty/mood swings/gloomy days, the husbands also need to be careful when speaking with their wives. I'm fine with that because I know women are different to men and we all have sensitive moments where it's best not to speak about certain issues. It's mutual so what's the fuss about?

    Try to be positive and have a good opinion about marriage. You don't want to go into a marriage already worrying about your 'rights' and the potential issues, just take it easy and roll with everything as it comes naturally.

    Marriage will give you more rights and freedom, just open your mind and try to understand it.

  19. #58

    Account Disabled

    Join Date
    May 2016
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    44
    Mentioned
    4 Post(s)
    Quoted
    58 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    0

    Re: problems with men today

    All of us women on this thread except for a few are a disgrace to womankind. We really need to fear Allah and read more about female Sahaabah.

  20. #59
    Forgive me please patient believer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    7,887
    Mentioned
    346 Post(s)
    Quoted
    2728 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    488

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by iguess View Post
    All of us women on this thread except for a few are a disgrace to womankind. We really need to fear Allah and read more about female Sahaabah.
    Why are you making such evil judgment? Be cautious because the women in this thread that you are badmouthing could be the friend of Allah. Calling people brat and names is unwise .
    Ya Allah,
    Make me a stronger person today. Make me a better person out of all these. It is no longer bearable for me for my heart is aching and You are the only One who knows how I feel. Nothing is making sense to myself and for anyone else for that matter especially to the one person I wish to understand me better than anybody else.
    "Don't use the sharpness of your tongue on the mother who taught you how to speak

  21. #60
    Land of Poets...
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    1,274
    Mentioned
    116 Post(s)
    Quoted
    904 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    107

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by Ni'mah View Post
    Being in charge in layman terms usually translates to "I iz the man you gotta obey me".

    Some people (both male & female) think marriage is just about the man being catered to by the woman. That mindset won't be changed just by reading a post.... but they'll find out sooner or later.
    Did you get permission from your husband to type this? You are so rebellious!

  22. #61
    Victory is promised... Deeni Akh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    9,432
    Mentioned
    771 Post(s)
    Quoted
    7141 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    947

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by Zaitoonah View Post
    Did you get permission from your husband to type this? You are so rebellious!
    -_-

  23. #62

    Account Disabled

    Join Date
    May 2016
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    44
    Mentioned
    4 Post(s)
    Quoted
    58 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    0

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by Ni'mah View Post
    Being in charge in layman terms usually translates to "I iz the man you gotta obey me".

    Some people (both male & female) think marriage is just about the man being catered to by the woman. That mindset won't be changed just by reading a post.... but they'll find out sooner or later.
    Some women think marriage is just about being catered to by a man. Provide for me, listen to my feelings, buy me flowers, rub my feet, have intercourse the way I like it, never complain about anything I do, listen to my complaints about you, never expect me to have dinner read. That mindset won't be changed by reading a post, but they'll find out sooner or later.

  24. #63

    Account Disabled

    Join Date
    May 2016
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    44
    Mentioned
    4 Post(s)
    Quoted
    58 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    0

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by patient believer View Post
    Why are you making such evil judgment? Be cautious because the women in this thread that you are badmouthing could be the friend of Allah. Calling people brat and names is unwise .
    The men this OP is whining about could be the friend of Allah, too.

  25. #64
    Victory is promised... Deeni Akh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    9,432
    Mentioned
    771 Post(s)
    Quoted
    7141 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    947

    Re: problems with men today

    I don't normally post these types of Ahadeeth but some mindsets on the forum compelled me to do so.

    The prophet (saw) said: If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone other than Allaah, I would have commanded women to prostrate to their husbands. By the One in Whose hand is the soul of Muhammad, no woman can fulfil her duty towards Allaah until she fulfils her duty towards her husband. If he asks her (for intimacy) even if she is on her camel saddle, she should not refuse.”

    Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah.*



    Please understand that if you honour and respect your husband, he will love you and cherish you. You will reap back whatever you give.

  26. #65
    Land of Poets...
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    1,274
    Mentioned
    116 Post(s)
    Quoted
    904 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    107

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by iguess View Post
    Some women think marriage is just about being catered to by a man. Provide for me, listen to my feelings, buy me flowers, rub my feet, have intercourse the way I like it, never complain about anything I do, listen to my complaints about you, never expect me to have dinner read. That mindset won't be changed by reading a post, but they'll find out sooner or later.
    I liked Ni'mah's one better. It's closer to the truth. Good job plagiarising though.

  27. #66
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    506
    Mentioned
    11 Post(s)
    Quoted
    319 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    82

    Re: problems with men today

    If anyones dissing marriages just remember it is a blessing from Allah

  28. #67
    Forgive me please patient believer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    7,887
    Mentioned
    346 Post(s)
    Quoted
    2728 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    488

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by iguess View Post
    The men this OP is whining about could be the friend of Allah, too.
    Yes ofcourse but youe attack was personal on the members .Her statement was general i suppose.
    Ya Allah,
    Make me a stronger person today. Make me a better person out of all these. It is no longer bearable for me for my heart is aching and You are the only One who knows how I feel. Nothing is making sense to myself and for anyone else for that matter especially to the one person I wish to understand me better than anybody else.
    "Don't use the sharpness of your tongue on the mother who taught you how to speak

  29. #68

    Account Disabled

    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    387
    Mentioned
    6 Post(s)
    Quoted
    199 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    0

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by patient believer View Post
    Why are you making such evil judgment? Be cautious because the women in this thread that you are badmouthing could be the friend of Allah. Calling people brat and names is unwise .
    I'm sure Allah will be very pleased to have such "friends"..good luck with the "bent rib" excuse on the Day of Judgement

  30. #69
    Victory is promised... Deeni Akh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    9,432
    Mentioned
    771 Post(s)
    Quoted
    7141 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    947

    Re: problems with men today

    Insha'Allah I will never make my wife feel overburdened or rejected, she will feel like the queen of the house.

    May Allah bless our marriages.

  31. #70
    Odan SheSaid's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    2,078
    Mentioned
    43 Post(s)
    Quoted
    402 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    117

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by iguess View Post
    All of us women on this thread except for a few are a disgrace to womankind. We really need to fear Allah and read more about female Sahaabah.
    Congratulations, you just gained 10 Muslimah points!
    17-07

  32. #71
    Internal Screaming shay5's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    8,069
    Mentioned
    175 Post(s)
    Quoted
    3662 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    333

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by Deeni Akh View Post
    I don't normally post these types of Ahadeeth but some mindsets on the forum compelled me to do so.

    The prophet (saw) said: If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone other than Allaah, I would have commanded women to prostrate to their husbands. By the One in Whose hand is the soul of Muhammad, no woman can fulfil her duty towards Allaah until she fulfils her duty towards her husband. If he asks her (for intimacy) even if she is on her camel saddle, she should not refuse.”

    Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah.*



    Please understand that if you honour and respect your husband, he will love you and cherish you. You will reap back whatever you give.
    I understand all this and this is why I take no umbrage to a man wanting peace when he walks into the house.....a home is supposed to be your safe haven....but Rumaysa has an opinion and some valid points....she is basically saying so what if the wife does talk to him as soon as he gets into the door...can he not be patient? (As a woman I do not agree with her way but does not mean I have to put her down like others have done.....)

    Imagine the house is on fire and I say 'husband the house'....and he says....''.SHHHHHHHH SHAYTRON ....do not talk to me until I have had my dinner''........and then we both are harmed...sometimes the woman has to speak up....
    “Whoever wants to purify his heart must prefer Allah over and above his own desires.” .

  33. #72
    Land of Poets...
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    1,274
    Mentioned
    116 Post(s)
    Quoted
    904 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    107

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by londonmuslimguy View Post
    I'm sure Allah will be very pleased to have such "friends"..good luck with the "bent rib" excuse on the Day of Judgement
    You should be more concerned about where you stand with Allah. Given your recent faux pas of a dua.

  34. #73
    Victory is promised... Deeni Akh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    9,432
    Mentioned
    771 Post(s)
    Quoted
    7141 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    947

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by shay5 View Post
    I understand all this and this is why I take no umbrage to a man wanting peace when he walks into the house.....a home is supposed to be your safe haven....but Rumaysa has an opinion and some valid points....she is basically saying so what if the wife does talk to him as soon as he gets into the door...can he not be patient? (As a woman I do not agree with her way but does not mean I have to put her down like others have done.....)

    Imagine the house is on fire and I say 'husband the house'....and he says....''.SHHHHHHHH SHAYTRON ....do not talk to me until I have had my dinner''........and then we both are harmed...sometimes the woman has to speak up....
    Yes that's understandable, if there's an imminent problem or an emergency of course that can be mentioned right when the husband comes home. But if the issue can be deferred then why bring it up as soon as he comes home? He needs rest and food to relax.

    I'm sure the wife enjoys spending quality time with the husband anyways. Talking to him casually and eating with him is from the most enjoyable moments for the wife so I don't see why she needs to bring the issues up then?

    Let both relax and calm down, then the news or whatever issue can be dropped.

  35. #74
    Internal Screaming shay5's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    8,069
    Mentioned
    175 Post(s)
    Quoted
    3662 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    333

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by Deeni Akh View Post
    Yes that's understandable, if there's an imminent problem or an emergency of course that can be mentioned right when the husband comes home. But if the issue can be deferred then why bring it up as soon as he comes home? He needs rest and food to relax.

    I'm sure the wife enjoys spending quality time with the husband anyways. Talking to him casually and eating with him is from the most enjoyable moments for the wife so I don't see why she needs to bring the issues up then?

    Let both relax and calm down, then the news or whatever issue can be dropped.
    I will share a personal story......we got some bad news but my father did not know.......so when he returned home ...my mother let him relax, have his dinner and then told him.......had she told him before he probably would not have ate his dinner so she told him after.....not all women are inept......I have good role models so I do not need to be told from people on the forum......this is why I take threads with a pinch of salt......Shaytron will be ok......
    “Whoever wants to purify his heart must prefer Allah over and above his own desires.” .

  36. #75
    Victory is promised... Deeni Akh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    9,432
    Mentioned
    771 Post(s)
    Quoted
    7141 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    947

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by shay5 View Post
    I will share a personal story......we got some bad news but my father did not know.......so when he returned home ...my mother let him relax, have his dinner and then told him.......had she told him before he probably would not have ate his dinner so she told him after.....not all women are inept......I have good role models so I do not need to be told from people on the forum......this is why I take threads with a pinch of salt......Shaytron will be ok......
    Exactly, there you go a real life example.

    it's good you're picking these up, I also pick up a lot from my family and the experience will definitely help later on in marriage. Like I have quite a few female members in my family so I've had a lot of female interaction and observation to somewhat understand how a mind of a woman works, what her lifestyle entails and how much I should appreciate what they do for the family which I believe will help me in marriage insha'Allah.

  37. #76
    Peace ms.muslimah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    4,634
    Mentioned
    232 Post(s)
    Quoted
    3205 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    207

    Re: problems with men today

    Everyone complains too much tbh. Although I understand what you're saying both the man and the wife need to be patient with one another. We can't excuse the woman complaining the moment he steps through the door, and have a problem with the man complaining... It's not pleasant to have to leave work which is stressful and come home to a negative atmosphere. He would probably start to dread coming home.

    If it's once in a blue moon then yeah the man doesn't really have anything to complain about. But still, it's not justified. Women are supposed to obey and serve their husbands. Disobedience is sinful even if it's rare.

    Both men and women need to learn more about the rights their spouse has over them, and how to fulfill those rights. And yes, just like women learn how to make their husbands happy, men should too. Women shouldn't start complaining as soon as their husbands come home, and men shouldn't complain to their wives as soon as they get home.
    Narrated Anas:
    The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "None of you will have faith till he wishes for his (Muslim) brother what he likes for himself." [Bukhari]

  38. #77
    Odan
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    1,668
    Mentioned
    112 Post(s)
    Quoted
    637 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    111

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by Zaitoonah View Post
    Did you get permission from your husband to type this? You are so rebellious!
    Ukhti, where is your husn al dhan for me though? Is it coz I iz a feminist ? :/

    Quote Originally Posted by iguess View Post
    Some women think marriage is just about being catered to by a man. Provide for me, listen to my feelings, buy me flowers, rub my feet, have intercourse the way I like it, never complain about anything I do, listen to my complaints about you, never expect me to have dinner read. That mindset won't be changed by reading a post, but they'll find out sooner or later.
    Imitation is the highest form of flattery. I tip my hijab to you my dear.

  39. #78
    Umm Kulthoom Rumaysah~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    4,709
    Mentioned
    170 Post(s)
    Quoted
    3710 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    353

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by Deeni Akh View Post
    Look try to understand sister. No one is saying that wives shouldn't have their feelings considered or that they must always obey their husband like servants.

    All I'm saying is find a good time to speak to your husband and work your schedule around his. You have that flexibility as you're at home all day, he doesn't as he needs to go to work every day and come back at the same time. So when you're saying things like why do you have to prepare food and not be able to express your concerns/any issues right when your husband comes home shows a lack of appreciation for him working all day and providing for you and secondly, you don't care about his feelings and needs at that moment.

    Women also have times where they go through difficulty/mood swings/gloomy days, the husbands also need to be careful when speaking with their wives. I'm fine with that because I know women are different to men and we all have sensitive moments where it's best not to speak about certain issues. It's mutual so what's the fuss about?

    Try to be positive and have a good opinion about marriage. You don't want to go into a marriage already worrying about your 'rights' and the potential issues, just take it easy and roll with everything as it comes naturally.

    Marriage will give you more rights and freedom, just open your mind and try to understand it.
    I'm not against any of that. And the woman in this situation has also been working all day in the home raising his kids, why does nobody get this part. She is then expected to do this and that and walk on egg shells around her husband because he can't handle a few sentences she wants to say about her day, or what went wrong, or whatever she wants to talk about. She has to let him rest, she can't rest herself and has to hold everything in because the grown man can't be without silence apparently...
    Yes she should show appreciation for the fact he worked all day but where does he show appreciation for the fact she has been running after his kids all day. A lot of men simply don't show it, that's a reality today. Even on this thread we are calling it "being at home all day" as if she is just sitting there doing nothing.

    The perfect illustration of the problem we have is the fact you felt the need to bring in a hadith about obeying the husband. Why? Who said they wouldn't obey the husband? obeying isn't the problem, the problem is too many muslims today have misunderstood what obeying is and misunderstood what being in charge is to the point men's needs are talked about with seriousness while women's needs are made into jokes. We've all seen the jokes about nagging, and kitchens, and how crazy females are. I've received a bunch of these stupid comments myself right on this thread. As soon as someone criticises men or questions how they handle things the hadiths come flying out about obeying the husband. Are these brothers going to do this to their wives, wave the hadith in their face?
    It's not about rights either. I know what the role of the woman is but do men know what their roles are? Do they understand being in charge means they are responsible? It's not just providing and demanding obedience.

    And I keep repeating this but where do these rules come from about not talking to him after work and all the rest of it. Some people have maids, some men don't care, some men don't work these long hours like here in the west, some work at home and so on. This isn't something universal or something that works for all people and cultures. It;s something that's been drilled in, that is it has to be like this and no other way can work when that is far from the truth.

    Forget within the marriage, these guys are complaining about mahr and the problems of women and life before even getting married.
    شَكَوْتُ إلَى وَكِيعٍ سُوءَ حِفْظِي
    فَأرْشَدَنِي إلَى تَرْكِ المعَاصي
    وَأخْبَرَنِي بأَنَّ العِلْمَ نُورٌ
    ونورُ الله لا يهدى لعاصي

  40. #79
    Umm Kulthoom Rumaysah~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    4,709
    Mentioned
    170 Post(s)
    Quoted
    3710 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    353

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by shay5 View Post
    I will share a personal story......we got some bad news but my father did not know.......so when he returned home ...my mother let him relax, have his dinner and then told him.......had she told him before he probably would not have ate his dinner so she told him after.....not all women are inept......I have good role models so I do not need to be told from people on the forum......this is why I take threads with a pinch of salt......Shaytron will be ok......
    My mother would probably tell my father something serious straight away, he wouldn't want bad news to be delayed anyway. Then again my father was the type of man who would cook his own food if he wanted to and do his own stuff even if my mother was also cooking and doing the house work. If nothing is cooked he would come home get in the kitchen, feed his children and get on with it without complaining about "what's wrong with women today" and all the rest of it.
    My brothers are all the same except they are just learning to cook but they don't complain much if there is nothing. They go and buy food or try to make it themselves, they never demand anything from the women and they don't get angry and emotional about it.
    This is what I would expect from any man.
    and that's one of my points, people have different norms, cultures, etc why is one way only correct and the other is like almost haram.
    Last edited by Rumaysah~; 26-09-16 at 11:38 PM.
    شَكَوْتُ إلَى وَكِيعٍ سُوءَ حِفْظِي
    فَأرْشَدَنِي إلَى تَرْكِ المعَاصي
    وَأخْبَرَنِي بأَنَّ العِلْمَ نُورٌ
    ونورُ الله لا يهدى لعاصي

  41. #80
    Fragile's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    8,323
    Mentioned
    191 Post(s)
    Quoted
    1581 Post(s)
    Rep Power
    336

    Re: problems with men today

    Quote Originally Posted by Ekoor View Post
    Complaining about complainers??
    Looool

 

 

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
All times are GMT. The time now is 09:08 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.2
Copyright © 2017 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging v3.2.7 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2017 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
vBulletin Skin By: PurevB.com

MPADC.com Islamic Web Hosting | Muslim Ad Network | Islamic Nasheeds | Islamic Mobile App Developement Android & iPhone | Islamic Web Hosting : Muslim Designers : Labbayk Nasheeds : silk route jilbab: Hijab: : Web Islamic Newsletter: Islamic Web Hosting

Students of Arabic Forum | Hijab Shop