"My wife won't get up to pray Fajr"!

[faqir]

*My wife won't get up to pray Fajr and gets angry if I wake her. What
should I do?*

Answered by Sr. Zaynab Ansari

www.sunnipath.com



In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful.
Praise be to Allah, and may His blessings and peace shower upon our
Beloved Messenger.

I know that you find your wife's lack of concern about the fajr prayer
disturbing, but before you get upset with her, consider the following:
Why does she get upset when you try to wake her? Could she have a sleep
condition? Does she have small children or an infant who might keep her
up at night? How much sleep does she get?

If you think your wife might not be getting enough sleep and this is
what is preventing her from waking up for Fajr, then try to help her by
getting the kids into bed at night, assisting her with the housework,
or
whatever the case may be.

If this is not the case and she is getting plenty of rest, then just
ask
her what it is about the prayer that it is so hard for her to get up.
Ask her to be honest with you. Tell her that as her husband and her
brother in Islam, you care about her. Missing prayers is a serious sin,
and you do not want to see her fall into this. Tell her about the great
blessing of the Fajr prayer, and that Fajr time is one of the best
times
for du'a. Tell her that if she gets up and prays with you, this is
quality time you can spend together. In addition, couples that worship
together are often closer than those who do not.

Give her these words from our Prophet to encourage her:

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: Whoever
prays the dawn prayer in congregation, it is as if he had prayed the
whole night long. (Muslim, p. 454, no. 656; al-Tirmidhi, 221).

According to a rigorously authenticated (sahih) hadith: Whoever prays
al-Bardayn will enter Paradise. (Reported by al-Bukhaari, al-Fath,
2/52). Al-Bardayn are Fajr and 'Asr. [These hadiths are courtesy of Sr.
Khadija al-Razaq who was kind enough to share them with me.]

Please be patient with your wife and encourage her to make her prayers.
Maybe some inspirational tapes by scholars like Shaykh Hamza Yusuf or
Shaykh Zaid Shakir would also encourage your wife to reflect on her
actions.

Ask Allah to help her. Ultimately, Allah alone is the one who gives
success.

And Allah knows best.

Zaynab Ansari





Learn Islam <http://www.SunniPath.com>. Visit SunniPath -
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[peace2u]

Masha Allah, I like his answer




Peace

[ABDELWAHHAB]

Masha Allah, I like his answer




Peace

as-Salaamu 3laykum wa-Ra7matullaahi wa-Barakaatuh

Zaynab is an Arabic Female Name

[peace2u]

I missed that then it's no wonder I liked the answer, a sister wrote it!!! still to the answer.

Peace

[ABDELWAHHAB]

I missed that then it's no wonder I liked the answer, a sister wrote it!!! still to the answer.

Peace

Baarek ALLAAHU Feekee

[craig]

sorry, but is there a verse that says there's no compulsion in religion? i know most of y'all getting ready to give me a good one after reading this, but has anyone considered praying for the person to recieve the spirit of prayer other than that of spirit of sleep?


Stay Blessed

[peace2u]

I'm sure he does pray that she gets up for fajr. And there is no compulsion, but who wants to sit by and watch their loved one do wrong??


Peace

[craig]

I'm sure he does pray that she gets up for fajr. And there is no compulsion, but who wants to sit by and watch their loved one do wrong??


Peace

i know and understand what you say peace, but my point is, this can only be translated to God through prayer, and an attempt shouldn't be made to try to force or co-erce the individual in to prayer, reason for this is that the prayer of that individual will not be done wholeheartedly.

Stay Blessed

P.s i do agree, that the husband try to talk to wifey, but if not headway is made, He should simply turn to God, the one who knows and does all things in nHis own time.

[NoorAlHuda]

mashallah great answer now all it needs is for the brothers to follow it

[faqir]

I missed that then it's no wonder I liked the answer, a sister wrote it!!! still to the answer.

Peace

Yeah, seems like the sisters are replying to quite a few of the questions at sunnipath.com these days!

- SACRILEGE

[UmmAyah]

There is a difference between someone who does not get up to pray because they simply don't care, and someone who does not get up because they are prisoners to their sleep. However, "if you want a criterion for evaluating a person's degree of faith and truthfulness monitor his observance of Fajr prayer."

People are ruled by their subconscious when they sleep. One thing very important that I have come to realize is that many people have an extremely difficult time breaking free from this imprisonment when they sleep. Even if they seem awake, they are not truly awake and in a state that is not themsleves. Getting up for fajr is almost out of their control. A higher iman and reciting du'aa before sleep and asking Allah to help them get up is critical. More sleep in the night helps, someone there in the morning to push them is important, and having a habit of getting up for fajr is important as well. I know my struggle is making myself get up right away, because I always have the intention to get up when I awake, but if I lay there too long, I may fall back asleep and miss it accidentally.

My husband is a devout Muslim masha'allah, but he has difficulty getting up for fajr. My husband used to make me so mad, because I have to wake him 5 or 6 times before he gets up, and if I allow myself to go back to sleep before making sure he gets up, he sleeps through fajr. If I am too forceful with him, he gets very mad (in his irrational state). During the day, when he is awake, he tells me to do whatever I have to do to get him up, even if he gets mad because he is not in his normal state. I used to get worried because he does not consider any consequences of not getting up, but if it is to go to work, he does consider the consequences and he gets up right away. I have told him a couple of times, "If you were going to work, you would be getting up right now, but for Allah, you don't care". He would open his eyes and glare at me as if I struck him with a pillow! I read a good example as follows:
"Motivation is presently lacking among muslims. Otherwise they would not have given in to sleep even if they had to stay awake in the first part of the night. When one of them is required by his work arrangements or for his own worldly benefit to wake early at dawn, he would no doubt take the necessary precaution not to miss his appointment. He will forsake his peace of mind and have a restless sleep just for fear he might be punished or have his salary reduced. When it comes to prayer, they have no excuse especially when in our modern times Allah has provided us with alarm clocks which would be set at any time we wish. The problem therefore, is one of laziness. Such people do not know what they are missing."

I know that my husband does not have control of himself in his sleep and he doesn't even remember anything later, proving that he is not himself at the time. I wish his iman, that is so obvious in his daily life masha'allah, could be evident in how he deals with fajr, but Alhumdulillah I am more patient now with it. He is the type that can sleep through an hour of an extremely loud alarm if he was tired enough. We should not look at this like a burden of having someone who we have to push so much to pray Fajr, because it is such a great opportunity for us to gain rewards. We are also blessed that we have more control of ourselves when we sleep.

If your spouse is not getting up due to lack of concern, reminding them of the importance of Fajr is a good tool because it is so easy to lose the fear that every action (or lack of action) has accountability. It is too easy to stay in bed and decide to pray later, even among good Muslims. That is why I try to read supporting ahadith often, to keep me focused. Fajr is truly a test because of the time it must be prayed.

Some great reminders are as follows:

And then there followed after them (the prophets) an evil generation who delayed the prayer and followed their lusts. Soon will they face destruction, except he who repents, affirms his faith and does deeds of righteousness [Soorah Maryam: 59-60]

narrated by Bukhaaree and Muslim, the Prophet said:
"Indeed, the most difficult of prayers to bear, for the hypocrites, are Ishaa [night] and Fajr prayers. If only they knew what they are missing , they would sooner come, even if crawling on their knees".

1047. Abu Musa (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "He who The observes Al-Bardan (i.e., Fajr and `Asr prayers) will enter Jannah.''
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Commentary: It is a must for every Muslim to offer every Salat regularly but there are some prayers (Salat) which cannot be performed punctually unless one takes special care of them. This is the reason some additional merits have been mentioned in this Hadith so that people exercise extra effort for performing them. Of these two is the Fajr prayer, the performance of which is more difficult than the other prayers because it occurs at a time of rest and deep sleep. Similar is the case of `Asr prayer, the performance of which is difficult. Due to these reasons, special merits of these two prayers have been mentioned in this Hadith.

1048. Abu Zuhair `Umarah Ruwaibah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: I heard the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) saying: "He who performs Salat (prayers) before the rising of the sun and before its setting, will not enter the Hell.''
[Muslim].

Commentary: It will be wrong to infer that one who performs these two Salat punctually will be safe from Hell merely because of his strictness in their observance. A Muslim who will perform all the five Salat punctually, will be safe from Hell. In this Hadith, Fajr and `Asr prayers have been particularly mentioned because of their special importance. It is implied that one who takes special care of these two Salat will not show any laxity in the other ones. He will also be particular in observing the other obligations and Sunnah because it is a must for the salvation that one should do his best to fulfill all the religious obligations.
1049. Jundub bin Sufyan (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "He who offers the dawn (Fajr) prayers will come under the Protection of Allah. O son of Adam! Beware, lest Allah should call you to account in any respect from (for withdrawing) His Protection.''
[Muslim].

Commentary: One meaning of this Hadith is that one should show energy for the performance of Fajr prayer.

1050. Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "There are angels who take turns in visiting you by night and by day, and they all assemble at the dawn (Fajr) and the afternoon (`Asr) prayers. Those who have spent the night with you, ascend to the heaven and their Rubb, Who knows better about them, asks: `In what condition did you leave My slaves?' They reply: `We left them while they were performing Salat and we went to them while they were performing Salat.'''
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

Commentary: The angels for the night come at the time of `Asr when the angels for the morning are present. This is how the angels of the two shifts assemble at this time. The angels of the shift of `Asr leave their duty in the morning, and the angels of the morning shift resume their duty when the pious persons are engaged in Fajr prayer. This is how the two groups assemble again at that time. Thus, when the angels come or go, the people who are punctual in their prayer are engaged in Fajr and `Asr. Almighty Allah knows everything but even then He asks the angels about his pious slaves so that the piousness of the believers and their merit and distinction become evident to them.

1051. Jarir bin `Abdullah Al-Bajali (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: We were sitting with the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) when he looked at the full moon and observed, "You will see your Rubb in the Hereafter as you see this moon having no difficulty in seeing it. So try your best to perform the prayers before the rising of the sun and that before its setting.''
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

Commentary: This Hadith tells us that no one can see Allah in this world but in the Hereafter, the believers will have the honour of seeing Allah. It also highlights the importance and merits of performing the Fajr and `Asr prayers punctually and in congregation.

Bukhaaaree and Muslim and An-Nasaaee related on the authority of Ibn Mas'ud (radiallaahu-anhu) that he said:
The case of a man who slept all the night up to sunrise (without waking up for Fajr) was related to the Prophet whereupon he said: "That was a man in whose ear Shaytaan has urinated", or he said "in both his ears".

The most worthy companion, Abdullaah and Ibn Mas'ood (radiallaahu-anhu) asserts "The only one indeed who misses them [i.e. Ishaa and Fajr prayers] is a confirmed hypocrite" (5). Ibn Umar (radiallaahu-anhu) said "When we find a man missing from the Ishaa and Fajr prayers we nurture suspicions about him"

[alvy]

Mash-Allah I like this kind of answer but you should encourage your wife to say five prayers a day in proper time. In case, that your wife is not feeling good so she must pray it as kaaza. But she must say her prayers.

[peace2u]

Yeah, seems like the sisters are replying to quite a few of the questions at sunnipath.com these days!

- SACRILEGE

that's because knowledge is not for you (bros)alone


peace