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View Poll Results: First child: son or daughter?

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  • son

    35 68.63%
  • daughter

    16 31.37%
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  1. #1
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    Icon11 Your first child: son or daughter and why?



    If Allah wills for you to get married and have children. would you make du'a for your first child to be a son or daughter? And give reasons.

    May Allah provide you all with righteous spouses and children that will be the coolness of your eyes.

  2. #81
    Odan A.Basheer's Avatar
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    Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

    Quote Originally Posted by RaNdOm View Post
    ok then I see your point cos it is kinda scary like what kids are like today and wantin to copy the kardashians and stuff - I feel worried now :/
    dammara Allahu alayhim. May Allah wipe that family off the face of this earth. What a fitnah to society. They're so evil, even the kuffar are being put to trial by their evil and shamelessness.

    But yea, I am surprised how the brothers can think they can have daughters in the West and everything will be fine. Just send them off the school and university, and it's all good. It's actually a huge fitnah.
    Last edited by A.Basheer; 14-02-16 at 11:13 PM.

  3. #82
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    Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

    Quote Originally Posted by Simply_Logical View Post
    no option for alien? lol

  4. #83
    Odan A.Basheer's Avatar
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    Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

    Quote Originally Posted by Stoic Believer View Post
    Yeah I get you. It's tough.

    I think it helps a lot, though, to live in a city with a Muslim community that is big on the deen. That way she will be interacting with a lot of Muslimahs who observe proper hijab, practice the religion, etc in shaa Allah. I don't think they're that common in the US, though.
    Yea, actually... I forgot that the UK might be different in this aspect. They seem much more organized and a tighter community, etc.

  5. #84
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    Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

    Quote Originally Posted by A.Basheer View Post
    dammara Allahu alayhim. May Allah wipe that family off the face of this earth. What a fitnah to society. They're so evil, even the kuffar are being put to trial by their evil and shamelessness.

    But yea, I am surprised how the brothers can think they can have daughters in the US and everything will be fine. Just send them off the school and university, and it's all good. It's actually a huge fitnah.
    Ameen. True bro, especially with the way its going now

  6. #85
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deeni Akh View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Linkdeutscher View Post
    A long time ago I always wanted a son first.

    But then I changed.

    I want a daughter first now, they're much cuter and sweeter especially when dressed like a true Muslimah. Seeing yur daughter in an abaya is just .

    And personally teaching her the deen and making her a strong Muslimah .

    I don't know, can't really put it into words, but they're just better.

    Plus I've already thought of a name for her so that's a plus!
    Link you softie

    I feel you though.
    You think you know more than my scholar's qiyās? He was more learned than you and all other scholars combined. Yeah, the devil was the greatest scholar too and look where his qiyās of fire being better than tīn got him. Sorry.

    You follow your scholar's qiyās, and I will follow the Qur'ān and Sunnah.

  7. #86
    Odan
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    Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

    I would never make dua for a specific gender. It's easy for us to say, I would love a boy cos he'd do xyz or i would love a girl cos she'd do xyz.

    But these are massive assumptions and stereotypes.

    Our boy could end up being a drug dealer or a womanizer whilst our daughter could get into shoplifting or whatever

    We just don't know.

    I've always made dua that Allah blesses me with healthy children that are righteous and good to their parents in old age. Regardless if that's 3girls or 6boys.

  8. #87
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    Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

    Quote Originally Posted by A.Basheer View Post
    Yea, actually... I forgot that the UK might be different in this aspect. They seem much more organized and a tighter community, etc.
    I get the same vibe, but it could just be a "grass is always greener" type of scenario. But from what I've seen of the UK Muslims through this forum and in real life is that they take the deen much more seriously. I don't know if that's the reality or if I'm just looking at it through rose-colored lenses. But from what I see they don't like to compromise the deen.

    In my experience the US Muslims are too complacent, too Westernized, and prefer to practice a barebones "Americanized" Islam.

  9. #88
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    Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

    Quote Originally Posted by LondonGal View Post
    I would never make dua for a specific gender. It's easy for us to say, I would love a boy cos he'd do xyz or i would love a girl cos she'd do xyz.

    But these are massive assumptions and stereotypes.

    Our boy could end up being a drug dealer or a womanizer whilst our daughter could get into shoplifting or whatever

    We just don't know.

    I've always made dua that Allah blesses me with healthy children that are righteous and good to their parents in old age. Regardless if that's 3girls or 6boys.
    Yeah youre right sis, of course we will be happy with decree of Allah. Its just that some may have preferences and will make du'a for Allah grant them their wishes.
    Last edited by Deeni Akh; 14-02-16 at 11:26 PM.

  10. #89
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    Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

    Quote Originally Posted by A.Basheer View Post
    dammara Allahu alayhim. May Allah wipe that family off the face of this earth. What a fitnah to society. They're so evil, even the kuffar are being put to trial by their evil and shamelessness.

    But yea, I am surprised how the brothers can think they can have daughters in the West and everything will be fine. Just send them off the school and university, and it's all good. It's actually a huge fitnah.
    may Allah swt guide them all to Islam ameen - just imagine what that would do lol

    yeh...it's a hard one
    ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
    "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
    [Al-Imran 3:159]

  11. #90
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    Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

    Quote Originally Posted by Stoic Believer View Post
    I get the same vibe, but it could just be a "grass is always greener" type of scenario. But from what I've seen of the UK Muslims through this forum and in real life is that they take the deen much more seriously. I don't know if that's the reality or if I'm just looking at it through rose-colored lenses. But from what I see they don't like to compromise the deen.

    In my experience the US Muslims are too complacent, too Westernized, and prefer to practice a barebones "Americanized" Islam.
    Yeh I agree in terms of what I've seen of Muslims from USA - they kinda confuse me. But I think cos the culture there is to be really loud and in your face and brag about your achievements where as if u talk good about yourself in the uk - people will destroy u lollll
    ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
    "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
    [Al-Imran 3:159]

  12. #91
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    Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

    Quote Originally Posted by Stoic Believer View Post
    I get the same vibe, but it could just be a "grass is always greener" type of scenario. But from what I've seen of the UK Muslims through this forum and in real life is that they take the deen much more seriously. I don't know if that's the reality or if I'm just looking at it through rose-colored lenses. But from what I see they don't like to compromise the deen.

    In my experience the US Muslims are too complacent, too Westernized, and prefer to practice a barebones "Americanized" Islam.
    The reason could be is that we are too spread out there.

    Or else those UK Muslims migrated there with most likely the same intentions as the US Muslims back in the 80s and early 90s: the dunya and nothing else. But they were less spread out thus more attached to the deen, so the result is what you have 20-30 years later. You can see that in parts of NYC and DC too.

    But in CT where I was born... you have pockets of Muslims here and there and the masaajid are few and far between. Allahu a'lam but living like that is really not allowed... to mix with the kuffar like that and be the only Muslim family in a small town, etc.

    I also found the Muslims in other Western countries to be more chill and laid back when it comes to degrees and high positions. They are usually more content with a sub-par job. But as for us, a sub-par job is the end of the world and we are a disgrace to our family.

  13. #92
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    Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

    Ya'll get married first. *rolleyes*
    Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

    "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
    - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

  14. #93
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    Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

    Quote Originally Posted by RaNdOm View Post
    Yeh I agree in terms of what I've seen of Muslims from USA - they kinda confuse me. But I think cos the culture there is to be really loud and in your face and brag about your achievements where as if u talk good about yourself in the uk - people will destroy u lollll
    Yea that's exactly how it is.

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    Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

    Quote Originally Posted by .mirror. View Post
    Ya'll get married first. *rolleyes*
    Wisest thing on this thread lol

    Quote Originally Posted by A.Basheer View Post
    Yea that's exactly how it is.
    americans I would literally suffocate there
    ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
    "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
    [Al-Imran 3:159]

  16. #95
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    Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

    I want my first daughter to be a girl.
    “Have you seen he who has taken as his god his [own] desire, and Allah has sent him astray due to knowledge and has set a seal upon his hearing and his heart and put over his vision a veil? So who will guide him after Allah ? Then will you not be reminded? And they say, “There is not but our worldly life; we die and live, and nothing destroys us except time.” And they have of that no knowledge; they are only assuming.” Quran 45:23-24

  17. #96
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    Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

    Quote Originally Posted by obaid_m View Post
    I want my first daughter to be a girl.
    Now this is the wisest thing on this thread so far...

  18. #97
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    Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

    Quote Originally Posted by Deeni Akh View Post
    Now this is the wisest thing on this thread so far...
    Lol stop using my lines on other people

    BUTTTTT btw

    it's all the really young unmarried bro's that are saying daughters - wait til u get a wife then we'll ask u you'll be like nah I need time with my XY chromosome bredrins get me
    ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
    "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
    [Al-Imran 3:159]

  19. #98
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    Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

    Quote Originally Posted by obaid_m View Post
    I want my first daughter to be a girl.
    It's okay, we knew what you meant bro


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    Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

    Quote Originally Posted by A.Basheer View Post
    It's okay, we knew what you meant bro

    But just don't understand me.
    “Have you seen he who has taken as his god his [own] desire, and Allah has sent him astray due to knowledge and has set a seal upon his hearing and his heart and put over his vision a veil? So who will guide him after Allah ? Then will you not be reminded? And they say, “There is not but our worldly life; we die and live, and nothing destroys us except time.” And they have of that no knowledge; they are only assuming.” Quran 45:23-24

  21. #100

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    Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

    What kinda man wants girls he wants men to carry on his legacy

  22. #101
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    Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

    Quote Originally Posted by zantz View Post
    What kinda man wants girls he wants men to carry on his legacy
    Ok u can have a maturer than your age card lol
    ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
    "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
    [Al-Imran 3:159]

  23. #102
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    Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

    Quote Originally Posted by obaid_m View Post
    But just don't understand me.
    Now I don't know what you mean here.

  24. #103
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    Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

    Quote Originally Posted by A.Basheer View Post
    Now I don't know what you mean here.
    It's okay.
    “Have you seen he who has taken as his god his [own] desire, and Allah has sent him astray due to knowledge and has set a seal upon his hearing and his heart and put over his vision a veil? So who will guide him after Allah ? Then will you not be reminded? And they say, “There is not but our worldly life; we die and live, and nothing destroys us except time.” And they have of that no knowledge; they are only assuming.” Quran 45:23-24

  25. #104
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    Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

    Quote Originally Posted by zantz View Post
    What kinda man wants girls he wants men to carry on his legacy
    And for him to be an Aalim and a Struggler in the Path of Allah*... right?

    These brothers on here disappointed me tonight

  26. #105
    😈 Al-Wahhābī 😈 Linkdeutscher's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by A.Basheer View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by obaid_m View Post
    But just don't understand me.
    Now I don't know what you mean here.
    You ruined his joke.
    You think you know more than my scholar's qiyās? He was more learned than you and all other scholars combined. Yeah, the devil was the greatest scholar too and look where his qiyās of fire being better than tīn got him. Sorry.

    You follow your scholar's qiyās, and I will follow the Qur'ān and Sunnah.

  27. #106
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    Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

    Quote Originally Posted by RaNdOm View Post
    Lol stop using my lines on other people

    BUTTTTT btw

    it's all the really young unmarried bro's that are saying daughters - wait til u get a wife then we'll ask u you'll be like nah I need time with my XY chromosome bredrins get me
    Really?

    Quote Originally Posted by zantz View Post
    What kinda man wants girls he wants men to carry on his legacy
    Sounds so epic bro...

  28. #107
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    Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

    Quote Originally Posted by Linkdeutscher View Post
    You ruined his joke.
    Hmmm.. I don't get the joke.

  29. #108
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    Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

    Quote Originally Posted by RaNdOm View Post
    Yeh I agree in terms of what I've seen of Muslims from USA - they kinda confuse me. But I think cos the culture there is to be really loud and in your face and brag about your achievements where as if u talk good about yourself in the uk - people will destroy u lollll
    Yeah that's Murica. Everyone trying to be top dog with the biggest guns. Even in the Muslim community you see people competing for leadership positions and whatever else.

    Quote Originally Posted by A.Basheer View Post
    The reason could be is that we are too spread out there.

    Or else those UK Muslims migrated there with most likely the same intentions as the US Muslims back in the 80s and early 90s: the dunya and nothing else. But they were less spread out thus more attached to the deen, so the result is what you have 20-30 years later. You can see that in parts of NYC and DC too.

    But in CT where I was born... you have pockets of Muslims here and there and the masaajid are few and far between. Allahu a'lam but living like that is really not allowed... to mix with the kuffar like that and be the only Muslim family in a small town, etc.

    I also found the Muslims in other Western countries to be more chill and laid back when it comes to degrees and high positions. They are usually more content with a sub-par job. But as for us, a sub-par job is the end of the world and we are a disgrace to our family.
    I agree, the Muslim communities are too scattered in the US. Reason being this country is huge and Muslims took opportunities where they could find them.

    I don't plan on taking a job in a city unless it has a tight-knit community in shaa Allah.

    And yeah here we are expected to sacrifice so much deen for the dunya. "You need to take out loans for that degree", "you need to shave for that job interview", etc.

  30. #109

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    Quote Originally Posted by A.Basheer View Post

    And for him to be an Aalim and a Struggler in the Path of Allah*... right?

    These brothers on here disappointed me tonight
    bro

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    Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

    Quote Originally Posted by zantz View Post
    bro
    What?

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    Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

    Quote Originally Posted by Deeni Akh View Post
    Really?



    Sounds so epic bro...
    yeh I think so, all of you are just like she's gonna be this cutesy wutesy girl lol

    but even for girls - they won't need a dad that gives them cuddles and advice all the time - although this is super important but like they'll need to see him be a man too. Like lead the flock. Go to pray at the masjid. Organise his fam. Have a clear vision. Like of course he should soften up and be the support his daughters need but they'll need to see a real manly man too.

    Plus u have to teach them to not rely on anyone tooooo much cos u might do such a great job at being a dad that like they'll have really high expectations of men. It's all about balance.
    ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
    "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
    [Al-Imran 3:159]

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    Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

    Daughter. Little girls are so much more temperate as babies and they're soooo cute. And i really want to have a mini me.

    honestly, it would be a dream come true of mine to have a little girl who looks just like I did as a baby lol
    Allah sent down his tranquillity upon him and supported him with angels you did not see and made the word of those who disbelieved the lowest, while the word of Allah - that is the highest. And Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise.

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    Quote Originally Posted by A.Basheer View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by zantz View Post
    bro
    What?
    Nothing, he had no real response and just wanted to reply thus that.
    You think you know more than my scholar's qiyās? He was more learned than you and all other scholars combined. Yeah, the devil was the greatest scholar too and look where his qiyās of fire being better than tīn got him. Sorry.

    You follow your scholar's qiyās, and I will follow the Qur'ān and Sunnah.

  35. #114
    Victory is promised... Deeni Akh's Avatar
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    Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

    Quote Originally Posted by RaNdOm View Post
    yeh I think so, all of you are just like she's gonna be this cutesy wutesy girl lol

    but even for girls - they won't need a dad that gives them cuddles and advice all the time - although this is super important but like they'll need to see him be a man too. Like lead the flock. Go to pray at the masjid. Organise his fam. Have a clear vision. Like of course he should soften up and be the support his daughters need but they'll need to see a real manly man too.

    Plus u have to teach them to not rely on anyone tooooo much cos u might do such a great job at being a dad that like they'll have really high expectations of men. It's all about balance.
    I see...very good insight there. I guess its more complex than just simple love and affection. Jzk khyr

  36. #115
    Odan A.Basheer's Avatar
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    Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

    Quote Originally Posted by Linkdeutscher View Post
    Nothing, he had no real response and just wanted to reply thus that.
    I see. These youngins nowadays and their posts. Making me confused. I don't know how Umm Random keeps up with you all.

  37. #116
    😈 Al-Wahhābī 😈 Linkdeutscher's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by A.Basheer View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Linkdeutscher View Post
    Nothing, he had no real response and just wanted to reply thus that.
    I see. These youngins nowadays and their posts. Making me confused. I don't know how Umm Random keeps up with you all.
    Umm RaNdOm is wise beyond her years, may Allah preserve our mother.
    You think you know more than my scholar's qiyās? He was more learned than you and all other scholars combined. Yeah, the devil was the greatest scholar too and look where his qiyās of fire being better than tīn got him. Sorry.

    You follow your scholar's qiyās, and I will follow the Qur'ān and Sunnah.

  38. #117
    Kintsukuroi RaNdOm's Avatar
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    Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

    Quote Originally Posted by Deeni Akh View Post
    I see...very good insight there. I guess its more complex than just simple love and affection. Jzk khyr
    Being a parent is like one of the biggest responsibilities everrrr especially cos like there's gonna be another human being you're responsible for and is gonna pretty much copy your outlook on life, for a while anyway

    Quote Originally Posted by A.Basheer View Post
    I see. These youngins nowadays and their posts. Making me confused. I don't know how Umm Random keeps up with you all.
    Lol NO we are not calling me that

    and cos I'm the eldest of 5 of us lol youngest bein 16 allahumma baarik so u know can take these guys on anyday lol
    ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
    "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
    [Al-Imran 3:159]

  39. #118
    Kintsukuroi RaNdOm's Avatar
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    Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

    Quote Originally Posted by Linkdeutscher View Post
    Umm RaNdOm is wise beyond her years, may Allah preserve our mother.
    noooo WE ARE NOT calling me that lolllll - omg @A.Basheer >_>
    ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
    "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
    [Al-Imran 3:159]

  40. #119
    Peace ms.muslimah's Avatar
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    Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

    I want a son first, because I think they're are easier.

  41. #120
    Odan
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    Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

    As long as they are healthy then not bothered which, I just hope I am blessed with both sons and daughters.

 

 

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