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  1. #1
    Odan .khayriyyah.'s Avatar
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    Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    Asalamu Aleikum, somewhere on the forum I read that in some case a man was refusing his wife a child but I was wondering if a husband could force his wife to become pregnant. If it is the right of a wife to have a baby, is it considered a man's choice aswell although ultimately the woman will be carrying the baby for months upon months and she will be the once to force it out of her body? Thank you.

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    😈 Al-Wahhābī 😈 Linkdeutscher's Avatar
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    Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    yes

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    Odan .khayriyyah.'s Avatar
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    Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    Quote Originally Posted by Linkdeutscher View Post
    yes
    Is there anything in the Quran or are there any hadiths that support this claim?

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    Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    Quote Originally Posted by aidaalej View Post
    Asalamu Aleikum, somewhere on the forum I read that in some case a man was refusing his wife a child but I was wondering if a husband could force his wife to become pregnant. If it is the right of a wife to have a baby, is it considered a man's choice aswell although ultimately the woman will be carrying the baby for months upon months and she will be the once to force it out of her body? Thank you.


    Define force, because babies don't magically appear like they do in the sims. Even if he says, "Baby now!" that doesn't necessarily mean that a baby will show up.

    I think before something like this gets solved it would be better if both parties had a heart to heart and discussed things, because the moment words like 'force' gets thrown into the mix then it's just a recipe for a disaster. A baby may come, but the wife and husband will resent each other and may divorce. Talk things over first, come to a compromise, and then see where it goes.
    مَّن ذَا الَّذِي يُقْرِضُ اللّهَ قَرْضًا حَسَنًا فَيُضَاعِفَهُ لَهُ أَضْعَافًا كَثِيرَةً وَاللّهُ يَقْبِضُ وَيَبْسُطُ وَإِلَيْهِ تُرْجَعُونَ

    "Who is he that will loan to Allah a beautiful loan, which Allah will double unto his credit and multiply many times?
    It is Allah that giveth (you) Want or plenty, and to Him shall be your return."
    Surah al-Baqarah
    [2:245]

    .:.
    .:. Perfer et Obdura : Dolor Hic Tibi Proderit Olim .:.
    Be patient and strong : someday this pain will be useful to you

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    ...said the spider to the fly...

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    Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    What did you think was going to happen after marriage?

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    Odan .khayriyyah.'s Avatar
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    Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    Quote Originally Posted by Pippin1376 View Post


    Define force, because babies don't magically appear like they do in the sims. Even if he says, "Baby now!" that doesn't necessarily mean that a baby will show up.

    I think before something like this gets solved it would be better if both parties had a heart to heart and discussed things, because the moment words like 'force' gets thrown into the mix then it's just a recipe for a disaster. A baby may come, but the wife and husband will resent each other and may divorce. Talk things over first, come to a compromise, and then see where it goes.
    I mean force as in refusing to take precautions to reduce the chances of reproducing although she has clearly stated she wants to wait a bit further in the marriage to have children.

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    Odan .khayriyyah.'s Avatar
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    Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    Quote Originally Posted by btht View Post
    What did you think was going to happen after marriage?
    Read my latest post.

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    😈 Al-Wahhābī 😈 Linkdeutscher's Avatar
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    Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    Quote Originally Posted by aidaalej View Post
    I mean force as in refusing to take precautions to reduce the chances of reproducing although she has clearly stated she wants to wait a bit further in the marriage to have children.
    no, she can't do that if the husband refuses

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    heh Pippin1376's Avatar
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    Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    Quote Originally Posted by aidaalej View Post
    I mean force as in refusing to take precautions to reduce the chances of reproducing although she has clearly stated she wants to wait a bit further in the marriage to have children.
    Ah, okay so my comment still stands. Islamically, both spouses have a right to kids, but it's better for one's marriage to talk things out instead of demanding rights. Discuss why she wants to wait a few years and also discuss why he wants a child right away. Come to a proper compromise where both sides give and take a bit for the sake of your marriage. If stalling will ruin your marriage, then concede a bit. If wanting something right now when the other side doesn't will ruin your marriage, then concede a bit. The husband and wife are meant to be a garment to each other, so keep the garment nice and clean by airing out all of your grievances and working together to make it even better.
    مَّن ذَا الَّذِي يُقْرِضُ اللّهَ قَرْضًا حَسَنًا فَيُضَاعِفَهُ لَهُ أَضْعَافًا كَثِيرَةً وَاللّهُ يَقْبِضُ وَيَبْسُطُ وَإِلَيْهِ تُرْجَعُونَ

    "Who is he that will loan to Allah a beautiful loan, which Allah will double unto his credit and multiply many times?
    It is Allah that giveth (you) Want or plenty, and to Him shall be your return."
    Surah al-Baqarah
    [2:245]

    .:.
    .:. Perfer et Obdura : Dolor Hic Tibi Proderit Olim .:.
    Be patient and strong : someday this pain will be useful to you

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    Odan .khayriyyah.'s Avatar
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    Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    Quote Originally Posted by Linkdeutscher View Post
    no, she can't do that if the husband refuses
    But what do you have to back up you claim?

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    Odan .khayriyyah.'s Avatar
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    Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    Quote Originally Posted by Pippin1376 View Post
    Ah, okay so my comment still stands. Islamically, both spouses have a right to kids, but it's better for one's marriage to talk things out instead of demanding rights. Discuss why she wants to wait a few years and also discuss why he wants a child right away. Come to a proper compromise where both sides give and take a bit for the sake of your marriage. If stalling will ruin your marriage, then concede a bit. If wanting something right now when the other side doesn't will ruin your marriage, then concede a bit. The husband and wife are meant to be a garment to each other, so keep the garment nice and clean by airing out all of your grievances and working together to make it even better.
    Okay, thank you.

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    hating on progressives AhlulQuran88's Avatar
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    Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    should have been discussed before entered into the marriage

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    Odan Creamcake's Avatar
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    Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    Agreed, should be discussed before marriage because its important. And the best way to do this after marriage is again to discuss. Because if you try force anything on ur spouse, as in forcing your ideas on them as opposed to discussing, don't think will get either one very far, as someone might end up resentful. especially in big decisions. but I agree its a right of both genders to have children/choose to have children. yeah..like op said its the females body giving birth etc, but both are the parents of the child/would be children, so both should have an equal say. just my opinion.

    Another thing to consider is that if she feels this constant pressure/stress, it might make it more difficult for her to become pregnant aswell. Thing is, I think unless the female has a genuine reason, like she's ill/sick, etc, or if they agreed, say if she's young and wanted to complete certain education first etc, then that's different. But except that, compromise is good, because children is one of the reasons for marriage, ofcourse lots of others too. But the phrasing here is not right 'make her have a baby' seems like force.

    I mean so many times these days, people argue over this stuff, and will this not affect perhaps when the baby is born, treatment towards the child. Perhaps. So discussion always the best way forward, to understand and listen to each other, because I think a lot of marriage, or atleast some of it, will have to be compromise, because there are two people right, not one. Especially if their opinions differ. Also, perhaps the female is worried about not being able to cope with the baby/look after the child properly etc, and these are all natural/normal concerns, so it's kinda the duty of the husband to understand and talk and comfort her in these matters. And help with the upbringing ofcourse. Insha ' Allah.

    p.s. sorry for grammatical typos in here, with tenses and all, I'm tired.
    Last edited by Creamcake; 09-09-15 at 12:17 AM.

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    الحمد لله‎ .Hajar.'s Avatar
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    Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    Quote Originally Posted by aidaalej View Post
    Asalamu Aleikum, somewhere on the forum I read that in some case a man was refusing his wife a child but I was wondering if a husband could force his wife to become pregnant. If it is the right of a wife to have a baby, is it considered a man's choice aswell although ultimately the woman will be carrying the baby for months upon months and she will be the once to force it out of her body? Thank you.


    will such a child be loved or resented i wonder by either parent..human emotions are a weird thing

    but to answer your Q, no the husband does not have the right to "make his wife have a baby", the man should not use force to get his way around and the lady should comply unless there's some genuine excuse/reason for her not to and even if she doesn't then the man should show a bit more understanding and/or not act like a brute for that would just makes matter worse

    in any event- they should both be on the same page about matters like these



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    Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    If you're psychologically or emotionally not ready tell him. Be clear about your reasons with him and tell him when you will be ready to have children.

    He then tells you where he stands and then you guys can move forward

    He can decide to do many things but force you to get pregnant against your will is just a weird thing for him to insist on. Why would he force you if you say NO not now. He can persuade and even say no to contraceptives as that is his right but then you have other issues.

    If he doesn't care about listening to you and coming to a mutual understanding about you not being ready then I hope you try to sort out your communication issues before getting pregnant.
    ‘If only I had done such-and-such, then such-and-such would have happened.’ Rather you should say, ‘Qaddara Allah wa ma sha a fa’ala (Allah decrees, and what He wills He does),’ for (the words) ‘If only’ open the door to the Shaytan.” (Narrated by Muslim).

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    Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    Yes he can and its his right to.. speak to him before marriage about your lack of interest in children and see what happens next.
    I love you, cherish you and worship you,
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    Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    neither of the spouses have the right to deny a child if one want them. same goes for the sexs. Denying any of them is a legitimate reason to call for a divorce.

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    Odan
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    Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    Quote Originally Posted by aidaalej View Post
    Asalamu Aleikum, somewhere on the forum I read that in some case a man was refusing his wife a child but I was wondering if a husband could force his wife to become pregnant. If it is the right of a wife to have a baby, is it considered a man's choice aswell although ultimately the woman will be carrying the baby for months upon months and she will be the once to force it out of her body? Thank you.
    I see a trend amongst Muslim men on Ummah looking for evidence to be able to "force" their wives to do things. Whether it's forcing her to have sex, a baby or forcing her mouth shut.

    Why did you not discuss this before the marriage?

    Instead of forcing her to have a child she does not want - divorce her. Behave like an adult you man child.

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    Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    Your marriage won't last.

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    Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    Rather than looking at this as 'forcing someone to have a baby' instead look at it as denying someone else's right to have a child, which is the way the Shariah looks at it.

    When we enter into marriage, there are set purposes to meet our respective human needs, and you shouldn't be denying your partner his or her rights without extremely good cause.
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    Odan .khayriyyah.'s Avatar
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    Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    Quote Originally Posted by .Singaporean View Post
    Your marriage won't last.
    Well I am not even married, the question is hypothetical.

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    Odan Gingerbeardman's Avatar
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    Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    Quote Originally Posted by aidaalej View Post
    Well I am not even married, the question is hypothetical.
    then if this is such an important issue to you then you need to be upfront when discussing marriage with brothers. Some are happy waiting a couple of years, even a few years, others prefer to start a family sooner.
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    Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    Quote Originally Posted by In my Opinion View Post
    I see a trend amongst Muslim men on Ummah looking for evidence to be able to "force" their wives to do things. Whether it's forcing her to have sex, a baby or forcing her mouth shut.

    Why did you not discuss this before the marriage?

    Instead of forcing her to have a child she does not want - divorce her. Behave like an adult you man child.
    Op is a sister... You confused?
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    الحمد لله‎ .Hajar.'s Avatar
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    Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    Quote Originally Posted by Fragile View Post
    Yes he can and its his right to.. speak to him before marriage about your lack of interest in children and see what happens next.
    just curious, are you married? [you can ignore the Q if you want to]



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    Odan .khayriyyah.'s Avatar
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    Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    Quote Originally Posted by Gingerbeardman View Post
    then if this is such an important issue to you then you need to be upfront when discussing marriage with brothers. Some are happy waiting a couple of years, even a few years, others prefer to start a family sooner.

    I don't even plan on getting married withing the next five or six years, I was just curious to hear others views on the subject. I know for a fact that when I do get married, I will ask many many questions including this.

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    Odan
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    Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    Quote Originally Posted by aidaalej View Post
    Well I am not even married, the question is hypothetical.
    Let me rephrase that:

    A marriage in which a spouse forces another spouse to do something against their will, well not last for long.

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    الحمد لله‎ .Hajar.'s Avatar
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    Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    Quote Originally Posted by .Singaporean View Post
    Let me rephrase that:

    A marriage in which a spouse forces another spouse to do something against their will, well not last for long.
    actually in societies where the woman doesn't know any better [her islamic rights and stuff], she's more likely to put/shut up with her relationship so as not to get ostracized or worse..



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    Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    Depends what they agreed before they got married.

    If a husband agreed on only one child because that is the agreement they reached before marriage, then he has to stick with his word.

    You are essentially asking another question entirely with your OP. One which can only be achieved by physical strength. Unless you want to change the word to 'persuade'?



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    😈 Al-Wahhābī 😈 Linkdeutscher's Avatar
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    Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    Quote Originally Posted by aidaalej View Post
    But what do you have to back up you claim?
    a wife is obliged to obey her husband, plus both spouses have a right to a child, neither can deny each other a child, so the obligation to obey is even bigger. a husband is not allowed to practices 'azl without her wife's permission, for instance.

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    Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    A woman can't go on contraception unless the following two conditions are met(at the same time):
    -it must be harmful to the wife's health to get pregnant
    -her husband must give her permission to use contraception, because it is his right to have children
    (And I don't agree that it needs to be discussed beforehand, because if you are saying you don't want children....buh-bye*waves*)

    Soooo....
    Family planning and contraception shouldn't be dealt with lightly as so many people do nowadays...besides, what's the hang up with not wanting kids?
    Allah said they are a ziina, an adornment and beautification of this worldly life....

    My two pence...

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    heh Pippin1376's Avatar
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    Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    Quote Originally Posted by Fragile View Post
    Yes he can and its his right to.. speak to him before marriage about your lack of interest in children and see what happens next.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mohamed Mifxal View Post
    neither of the spouses have the right to deny a child if one want them. same goes for the sexs. Denying any of them is a legitimate reason to call for a divorce.
    As a fellow singleton, please don't say things like this when marriage is a big deal.

    Yes, technically the husband has a right to have children, but if he forces his wife to have them will she love him and will the marriage last long because he didn't consult her on the matter? In a standard business contract, both sides need to be happy in order for it to work. If one side forces the others hand then the partnership will break down and the contract will break. Forcing anyone to do anything is a recipe for disaster, regardless of whether you're in the right or not. The couple should talk to each other and figure out a solution that works best for them. Whether they wait or do this right away is besides the point, what matters more is that they're happy with their decision and continue being good to each other.
    مَّن ذَا الَّذِي يُقْرِضُ اللّهَ قَرْضًا حَسَنًا فَيُضَاعِفَهُ لَهُ أَضْعَافًا كَثِيرَةً وَاللّهُ يَقْبِضُ وَيَبْسُطُ وَإِلَيْهِ تُرْجَعُونَ

    "Who is he that will loan to Allah a beautiful loan, which Allah will double unto his credit and multiply many times?
    It is Allah that giveth (you) Want or plenty, and to Him shall be your return."
    Surah al-Baqarah
    [2:245]

    .:.
    .:. Perfer et Obdura : Dolor Hic Tibi Proderit Olim .:.
    Be patient and strong : someday this pain will be useful to you

    .:.
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    Fragile's Avatar
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    Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    Quote Originally Posted by Pippin1376 View Post
    As a fellow singleton, please don't say things like this when marriage is a big deal.

    Yes, technically the husband has a right to have children, but if he forces his wife to have them will she love him and will the marriage last long because he didn't consult her on the matter? In a standard business contract, both sides need to be happy in order for it to work. If one side forces the others hand then the partnership will break down and the contract will break. Forcing anyone to do anything is a recipe for disaster, regardless of whether you're in the right or not. The couple should talk to each other and figure out a solution that works best for them. Whether they wait or do this right away is besides the point, what matters more is that they're happy with their decision and continue being good to each other.
    Just cause I'm single it don't mean I don't have common sense.. Also I did say discuss it before marriage just so they can both understand what the other wants regarding children.
    I don't agree with force.. I meant yes he has the right to have children and she can not deprive him from that.. Communication is key here. They must discuss this before marriage.
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    Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    Islam is fair. Both husband and the wife have right to try to have children. So any permissible forms of contraception are only allowed if husband and wife both agree. Therefore if anyone of them has a preference for not having children at some point then that needs to be understood before marriage.

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    Odan .khayriyyah.'s Avatar
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    Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    Why was this bumped?
    Last edited by .khayriyyah.; 23-06-17 at 05:18 PM.

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    Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    What a weird thread....

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    Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    Quote Originally Posted by muzzybee View Post
    What a weird thread....
    I know... Don't judge me, it's like two years old. I was a feminist before Islam so these questions meant a lot to me.

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    Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    Quote Originally Posted by .khayriyyah. View Post
    I know... Don't judge me, it's like two years old. I was a feminist before Islam so these questions meant a lot to me.
    Hmmm, Its a legit question ,I am thinking more on the lines of people discussing when to have kids before marriage during meetings etc....What nonsense is that.

    Lol ,want to delay due to what not etc. If someone says that to me ,thats a straight rejection.

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    Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    Quote Originally Posted by .khayriyyah. View Post
    Asalamu Aleikum, somewhere on the forum I read that in some case a man was refusing his wife a child but I was wondering if a husband could force his wife to become pregnant. If it is the right of a wife to have a baby, is it considered a man's choice aswell although ultimately the woman will be carrying the baby for months upon months and she will be the once to force it out of her body? Thank you.
    I don't think we need to be Alims to know that Islam does not allow force of any kind. Sure you can force your child to brush their teeth - but you can't force them to marry without their will, in the same way, your husband can't force himself on you or pressurise you to become pregnant.

    If you still have time to have children, why is he in a hurry? Or is your time running out?

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    Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    Quote Originally Posted by In my Opinion View Post
    I don't think we need to be Alims to know that Islam does not allow force of any kind. Sure you can force your child to brush their teeth - but you can't force them to marry without their will, in the same way, your husband can't force himself on you or pressurise you to become pregnant.

    If you still have time to have children, why is he in a hurry? Or is your time running out?
    The question is two years old and hypothetical.

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    Re: Does a husband have the right over his wife to make her have a baby?

    From your more recent post and now this, I thought you were a guy.

    Allhamdulilalah you're no longer a "feminist" may Allah find you a righteous husband one who will protect you, teach you and provide you your rights.

    Stay strong. I know how hard to it is to be a reverts sometimes. I saw them with my parents.

 

 

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