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  1. #1
    Odan ssh's Avatar
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    Icon11 Should parents choose their kids career?

    Do you think it's right for parents to choose a career path for their kid and from a early age, like 5, 6, 7, encourage them in it?

    Like a doctor, lawyer etc.

    Or, should you wait until the person is like 13 and ask them what they are thinking of doing with the rest of their life.
    (lulz, no pressure)



  2. #2
    Watching a Circus Yunus aua's Avatar
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    Re: Should parents choose their kids career?

    Quote Originally Posted by ssh View Post
    Do you think it's right for parents to choose a career path for their kid and from a early age, like 5, 6, 7, encourage them in it?

    Like a doctor, lawyer etc.

    Or, should you wait until the person is like 13 and ask them what they are thinking of doing with the rest of their life.
    (lulz, no pressure)
    ,


    Better to wait and see what the child excels in, the child good be much better suited for something they're unaware of

  3. #3
    Odan Superwoman's Avatar
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    Re: Should parents choose their kids career?

    Quote Originally Posted by ssh View Post
    Do you think it's right for parents to choose a career path for their kid and from a early age, like 5, 6, 7, encourage them in it?

    Like a doctor, lawyer etc.

    Or, should you wait until the person is like 13 and ask them what they are thinking of doing with the rest of their life.
    (lulz, no pressure)
    I am completely against this, its one thing for parents to support their kids decision another for them to force and persuade them to go down a path they want the child to go down, end of the day its not their life and they aren't the ones that are going to have to do the hard work to be a lawyer,doctor etc,

  4. #4
    Odan InTheBegining's Avatar
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    Re: Should parents choose their kids career?

    Isn't this quite prevalent in China/Asia and the subcontinent.
    Believe none of what you hear, and only half of what you see.

  5. #5
    Odan
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    Re: Should parents choose their kids career?

    I don't think there is anything wrong with parents guiding their children into a career with their experience, especially at the age of 5,6 or 7 because at this age it's not like the kids know what they are going to do. But when the children get into their teens and are clearly struggling with the parents choice of career, then they should let the children pursue what they want.
    If knowledge was a justification for taqwa then shaytan would be the most muttaqi - maulana Zahir Mahmood
    'More beloved to me than 23 years of lecturing' Sheikh Ahmed Ali
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  6. #6
    Odan
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    Re: Should parents choose their kids career?

    I don't think I'll choose my children's career. But I will not let them do something that I feel has no prospects.

    My parents did the same with us and so did my husbands parents. And it worked for me and him and all our siblings.

  7. #7
    ᕙ(ಠ益ರೃ)ᕗ Maghrebia00's Avatar
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    Re: Should parents choose their kids career?

    No... parents should not choose a career for their children.

    I remember learning about a guy who was taught at a young age and was brought up in a strict educational routine by a utilitarian philospher. Anyhow long story short he fell into depression... but recovered and is quite famous for the improving the Utilitarianism theory...

    So moral of the story... it is probably not good for the childs health but hey they will be sucessful

    Anyhow... teaching kids simple things is alright i think such as fun maths or english or something their age but i would say not go overboard and destroy their childhood...

    Regarding choosing careers, let them that way they will be more likely to suceed in something they have a passion for, but advise them when necessary.

    Simples.
    Bye...

  8. #8
    miss foofina FeedMEknowledge's Avatar
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    Re: Should parents choose their kids career?

    after seeing this one study, i always wondered what it would be like living it into existence...


    like seeing their skills and then allow them to excel, grow a passion for it..

    hypothetical story.. my kid is veryobservant... so im like hey billy bob lets do word search puzzles or hidden object hunts around the house... then make up these scenarios and have them solve em.. watch csi crime scene investigator/criminal minds/ junior investigator camps.. etc so inside if i wanted him to be a detective i wouldve never had to say it... instead he would have the passion for it..

    but that was back in the day when i
    Raindrops.hail.ouch

  9. #9
    أمة الله Amat's Avatar
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    Re: Should parents choose their kids career?

    I don’t know, the kitchen sink should not have been shoved down my throat so young.
    المادح نفسه كذاب
    I do not fear for the person who thinks, even if he loses his way, for he will return to the truth. Rather, I fear for the person who doesn't think, even if he is correctly guided, for he will be like a wisp of straw at the mercy of the wind. —Muhammad al-Ghazali

  10. #10
    miss foofina FeedMEknowledge's Avatar
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    Re: Should parents choose their kids career?

    Quote Originally Posted by Amat View Post
    I don’t know, the kitchen sink should not have been shoved down my throat so young.
    ???? so what your mom wanted you to be a maid? .. or a stay at home mom?
    Raindrops.hail.ouch

  11. #11
    أمة الله Amat's Avatar
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    Re: Should parents choose their kids career?

    Quote Originally Posted by FeedMEknowledge View Post
    ???? so what your mom wanted you to be a maid? .. or a stay at home mom?
    lol Maid? Lets just say that I got the wrong impression from my parents when I was young. Now I wish I could just stay home doing nothing, but I'm coerced into school probably until I die, My parents sometimes sign me up for random classes with out asking me first! But I love them so it's ok.
    المادح نفسه كذاب
    I do not fear for the person who thinks, even if he loses his way, for he will return to the truth. Rather, I fear for the person who doesn't think, even if he is correctly guided, for he will be like a wisp of straw at the mercy of the wind. —Muhammad al-Ghazali

  12. #12
    miss foofina FeedMEknowledge's Avatar
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    Re: Should parents choose their kids career?

    Quote Originally Posted by Amat View Post
    lol Maid? Lets just say that I got the wrong impression from my parents when I was young. Now I wish I could just stay home doing nothing, but I'm coerced into school probably until I die, My parents sometimes sign me up for random classes with out asking me first! But I love them so it's ok.
    ahh ok i get it.... i said maid cuz i thought u were responding to what i said above me.. so i related kitchen with cleaning.. my bad...


    : /
    Raindrops.hail.ouch

  13. #13
    did i say i was leaving? Muslima London's Avatar
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    Re: Should parents choose their kids career?

    no, i don't think one sjouoid choose their c hildrens career but one can guide them to possible careers if they are completely lost.

    However, whats more important is that your child is doing something that they enjoy and feel fulfilled by. If my child is NOT working in a profession not deemed as 'high status' but they are content, they are not compromising their deen, it gives them enougth time to spend on their family etc etc' i will be happy.
    Last edited by Muslima London; 11-09-13 at 09:54 PM.
    Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Don’t ruin your happiness with worry, and don’t ruin your mind with pessimism. Don’t ruin your success with deception and don’t ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Don’t ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
    __________________________________________________ _____________________________
    If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesn’t prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

    You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with dua’as being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so don’t ever underestimate any good deeds."



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  14. #14
    أمة الله Amat's Avatar
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    Re: Should parents choose their kids career?

    Quote Originally Posted by FeedMEknowledge View Post
    ahh ok i get it.... i said maid cuz i thought u were responding to what i said above me.. so i related kitchen with cleaning.. my bad...


    : /
    Dear we always get into awkward mix ups. Cracks me up.
    المادح نفسه كذاب
    I do not fear for the person who thinks, even if he loses his way, for he will return to the truth. Rather, I fear for the person who doesn't think, even if he is correctly guided, for he will be like a wisp of straw at the mercy of the wind. —Muhammad al-Ghazali

  15. #15
    Private Investigator samin62's Avatar
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    Re: Should parents choose their kids career?

    The parents should always suggest, but shouldn't choose for them. Unless the kid is going in some oddball direction.
    "They are Shuhadaa (witnesses) to the fact that this Deen is greater than life, that values are more important than blood and that principles are more precious than souls" - Sheikh 'Abdullah Azzam

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  16. #16
    Odan Repentant's Avatar
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    Re: Should parents choose their kids career?

    Quote Originally Posted by ssh View Post
    Do you think it's right for parents to choose a career path for their kid and from a early age, like 5, 6, 7, encourage them in it?

    Like a doctor, lawyer etc.

    Or, should you wait until the person is like 13 and ask them what they are thinking of doing with the rest of their life.
    (lulz, no pressure)
    NO. NO. And NO again.

    Not just careers, they shouldn't choose their subjects or courses either. They can advise, but they have no right to force their kid into something they are not good at. Everyone has their own special talent. They should be alllowed to pursue that talent as long as it is halal. Many parents force their kids into sciency stuff. They think they know whats best for their kids and give you all sorts of lectures which you know are bluffs but you can't talk back because they think they know better than you. And Islamically speaking, a child wouldn't be disobedient if he/she went against their parents' wishes in this area of life.

    Parents who do this are just as bad as those who force their kids into forced marriages.

    Trying to study something you are not interested in is hell.

    A decent halal income is good enough for me. Why would I want to waste my life being a doctor or lawyer (which is haram anyway) or engineer or whatever?
    "You must convince your heart that whatever Allah has decreed is most appropriate and most beneficial for you." ~ Imam Al Ghazali.


  17. #17
    Odan cooldog's Avatar
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    Re: Should parents choose their kids career?

    I thought parents had no influence on their kids

  18. #18
    Its fine, take a 38mm noobz's Avatar
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    Re: Should parents choose their kids career?

    Quote Originally Posted by ssh View Post
    Do you think it's right for parents to choose a career path for their kid and from a early age, like 5, 6, 7, encourage them in it?

    Like a doctor, lawyer etc.

    Or, should you wait until the person is like 13 and ask them what they are thinking of doing with the rest of their life.
    (lulz, no pressure)
    u just took my threads motive and changed the title ...

    wait for my subpoena against u.




  19. #19
    Its fine, take a 38mm noobz's Avatar
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    Re: Should parents choose their kids career?

    Quote Originally Posted by cooldog View Post
    I thought parents had no influence on their kids
    a desi with such big words?





  20. #20
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    Re: Should parents choose their kids career?

    No. Parents are parents. Firsts 7 years play with them, next 7 years teach them and then befriend them after that. Children become adults and your parenting sorta changes because they take their own pathes and you just guide them and help them out.

    You can't be making decisions for a child when they're mature adults and start thinking for themselves, that's just whee it becomes oppressive/not right.

    The above is not meant to come across as an ungrateful rude way to our parents btw.
    Last edited by F_R; 12-09-13 at 12:26 PM.

    لا تفكر كثيرا
    بل استغفر كثيرا

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    The children need your prayers more than anyone else
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    Odan Superwoman's Avatar
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    Re: Should parents choose their kids career?

    Quote Originally Posted by samin62 View Post
    The parents should always suggest, but shouldn't choose for them. Unless the kid is going in some oddball direction.
    what do you mean?

  22. #22
    Private Investigator samin62's Avatar
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    Re: Should parents choose their kids career?

    Quote Originally Posted by Superwoman View Post
    what do you mean?
    If the kid doesnt know what he is doing. Even then it should be based on what the parents observed the kid is good at
    "They are Shuhadaa (witnesses) to the fact that this Deen is greater than life, that values are more important than blood and that principles are more precious than souls" - Sheikh 'Abdullah Azzam

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  23. #23
    Its fine, take a 38mm noobz's Avatar
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    Re: Should parents choose their kids career?

    education doesnt mean intelligence ..




  24. #24
    Private Investigator samin62's Avatar
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    Re: Should parents choose their kids career?

    Quote Originally Posted by noobz View Post
    education doesnt mean intelligence ..
    I know. I read your posts
    "They are Shuhadaa (witnesses) to the fact that this Deen is greater than life, that values are more important than blood and that principles are more precious than souls" - Sheikh 'Abdullah Azzam

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  25. #25
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    Re: Should parents choose their kids career?

    ...
    Last edited by F_R; 12-09-13 at 10:36 PM.

    لا تفكر كثيرا
    بل استغفر كثيرا

    -------------------------------------------------------
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  26. #26
    Odan
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    Re: Should parents choose their kids career?

    No, they should counsel them and help them realize whatever they desire to achieve in their lives
    Not knowing what one doesn't know will lead to difficulty

  27. #27
    Odan
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    Re: Should parents choose their kids career?

    No, it's illogical and dumb. Truly ignorant behaviour, no way a nobel prize winner was forced into it, gotta have passion for what you do.
    Last edited by Hadid; 12-09-13 at 05:08 PM.

  28. #28
    /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ cho09082489's Avatar
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    Re: Should parents choose their kids career?

    I think sometimes you can generate interest in the child toward a certain subject just as you can with their Islamic education. I wouldn't outright say parents shouldn't steer the child but they also need to accept that ultimately it should be the child's decision and not get too cut up if the child ends up not wanting to be what they hopin for. I think it should be done if the parent has the intention that the child's skills will be beneficial to others and if they encourage their child in this then it should be for the sake of Allah, rather than boasting that the child has a highly respected job

    e.g. steering the child in the direction of becoming a doctor because they can earn the reward of helping save lives, they can one day go and be useful where people desperately need these expertise, not steering them to be a doctor because of what others think

    if my mum had made her feelings known I would have probably gone in the direction she wanted, but she told me to do whatever I like even though I was constantly asking her opinion and it got frustrating

    oh I just now payed attention to the title, I don't think they should 'choose', steer for the greater good - yeah
    Last edited by cho09082489; 12-09-13 at 06:06 PM.

  29. #29

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    Should parents choose their kids career?

    Sure why not its better than them working at the local Mcdonalds

  30. #30
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    Re: Should parents choose their kids career?

    Quote Originally Posted by samin62 View Post
    I know. I read your posts
    now i know why u read my posts.




  31. #31
    bows out Fairy's Avatar
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    Re: Should parents choose their kids career?

    If its a doctor, then yea they should encourage them because they are saving lives

    if the dads a lawyer, then no I dont think they should encourage them to have the same profession

    instead they should give them the tools to figure out how best to utilize their skills into a career

    Anyone remember ANDRE AGASSI, TOP TENNIS player and then after all that success said he was forced in to it by his dad
    Last edited by Fairy; 12-09-13 at 10:42 PM.
    My ♥ only lets الله‎ in
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  32. #32
    abu sab'a
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    Re: Should parents choose their kids career?

    I personally don't think its in the hands of parents or child. You do what you can and in the end Allah swt wills it or doesnt

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    Odan Superwoman's Avatar
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    Re: Should parents choose their kids career?

    Quote Originally Posted by samin62 View Post
    If the kid doesnt know what he is doing. Even then it should be based on what the parents observed the kid is good at
    parents can be wrong, also the child may be good at something that he doesn't want his parents to know about

  34. #34
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    Re: Should parents choose their kids career?

    Quote Originally Posted by LondonGal View Post
    I don't think I'll choose my children's career. But I will not let them do something that I feel has no prospects.

    My parents did the same with us and so did my husbands parents. And it worked for me and him and all our siblings.
    This.

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    Re: Should parents choose their kids career?

    Quote Originally Posted by Fairy View Post
    If its a doctor, then yea they should encourage them because they are saving lives

    if the dads a lawyer, then no I dont think they should encourage them to have the same profession

    instead they should give them the tools to figure out how best to utilize their skills into a career

    Anyone remember ANDRE AGASSI, TOP TENNIS player and then after all that success said he was forced in to it by his dad
    I'm wasted on this forum.
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