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  1. #1
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    Is it haram to live under the same roof as your wife after you have divorced her?

    Salaam Alaikum

    My name is Adam. My wife asked me for a divorce because she could not cope with the fact that I have to travel for long periods of time outside of The UK on business in order to provide for my family. She found it very stressful that I could be away for 14 weeks at time. I wrote her a signed letter and dated letter giving her triple talaq as per her request so she has something on paper to show that she has been divorced. I completed this letter just over 2 months ago, so I will be returning to The UK on holiday in a months time. She has made the spare room up for me to stay, so we are not in the same bed together at night, but I am concerned that it is still haram as we will be divorced and therefore we should not be spending the night together even if we are under the same roof. I am very concerned about this and I am looking for some advice from fellow members on this matter that is reference to the Quran or Hadiths. Perhaps what I should be doing is looking to stay with friends in the local area in order that I can see my son by day and then spend the night with friends away from my ex wife.

    Adam

  2. #2
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    Re: Is it haram to live under the same roof as your wife after you have divorced her?



    i cant believe what im reading to be honest...

    someone else may be able to help. not sure if this is even a problem that you can't fix,

    Its just a job, if your family need you, live off of little to get by, and this would keep you from divorce and closer to your wife, I would end my job in a second, or allahu alam if I would, but just thinking about this, it can easily be solved,

    you make it sound like Talaq is nothing.

    come on akhi, whats wrong with us muslims.
    Last edited by blanchoir; 30-06-13 at 08:38 PM.
    Laqad Zanal Bilada Wa Man A3layha, Imam ul-muslimeen Abu Haneefah
    good after ن

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    Re: Is it haram to live under the same roof as your wife after you have divorced her?

    Quote Originally Posted by Adam_Jallow View Post
    Salaam Alaikum

    My name is Adam. My wife asked me for a divorce because she could not cope with the fact that I have to travel for long periods of time outside of The UK on business in order to provide for my family. She found it very stressful that I could be away for 14 weeks at time. I wrote her a signed letter and dated letter giving her triple talaq as per her request so she has something on paper to show that she has been divorced. I completed this letter just over 2 months ago, so I will be returning to The UK on holiday in a months time. She has made the spare room up for me to stay, so we are not in the same bed together at night, but I am concerned that it is still haram as we will be divorced and therefore we should not be spending the night together even if we are under the same roof. I am very concerned about this and I am looking for some advice from fellow members on this matter that is reference to the Quran or Hadiths. Perhaps what I should be doing is looking to stay with friends in the local area in order that I can see my son by day and then spend the night with friends away from my ex wife.

    Adam
    Talaq is the LAST option. If your wife tells you she can't cope with you being away why on Earth did you not quit your job?!?!! What is the point in you working now you're divorced?!?! Now you want evidence from Qur'an and Sunnah? Did you look at Qur'an and Hadith on how to save your marriage? Unbelievable. You need to speak with an Imam.

  4. #4
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    Re: Is it haram to live under the same roof as your wife after you have divorced her?



    Did you ask an imaam about this?


    Don't stay at her place. Find somewhere else to stay. And you can see your kids for hours on end if you want to long as you both come to an agreement.

    Just like you wouldn't stay at a strange woman's house you shouldn't stay at her house.

    http://islamqa.info/en/ref/72291/divorce%20on%20paper

    Wa Allahu a`lam.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Missy's Avatar
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    Re: Is it haram to live under the same roof as your wife after you have divorced her?

    I find the reason people get divorced really silly sometimes, when there are so many that wish to get married but can't. My friend even told me she got divorced because her husband wanted to stay in Pakistan and she didn't want to as she felt it wasn't a safe country to raise children. Maybe there were other issues so I don't want to say its all her fault, but if that's the main issue I find these excuses pathetic.

    Had I got married, i wud have moved newhere with my husband, wud have waited for him all night, days, months, years if I needed to, look at shaker amer wife he's been in guantanomo bay for how many years and he offered his wife divorce but she said no. Esp those that get married for love, Shaytan really loves to split people up and we are stupid for letting him. But also seeing as ur not locked up, you could have tried to accommodate a bit with ur job n look closer. both side need to give it time and not jump to conclusion.

    neways I don't know the exact rulings but if u have given3 official talaq, don't know whether written or verbal is needed and which one is valid then she is ur non-mahrem and u shudn't be staying with her, u need to consult and imam for this and not lay people u may get on forums. Perhaps message admins, they may be or know of imams, or sunniforum.com has sheikhs/muftis that are admins which can give advice on shariah ruling.
    Last edited by Missy; 30-06-13 at 09:18 PM.

  6. #6
    Pray for the Oppressed Fairy's Avatar
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    Re: Is it haram to live under the same roof as your wife after you have divorced her?

    If you sleep in the garden and make no contact with her, im sure that would be ok.

    when u are divorced, its done, de nada capiche syonara
    And they who disbelieved and denied Our signs - for those there will be a humiliating punishment.
    Im trying so hard to be good

  7. #7
    أبو جيد جدا InTheBegining's Avatar
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    Re: Is it haram to live under the same roof as your wife after you have divorced her?

    I don't think its proper to jump on the brother because he got divorcd for the said reason. obviously there is a lot more he probably didn't tell you and it isnt sufficient enough to say that his reason wasn't good enough. sometimes while the given reason seems so simpalicistic the psychological issues surrounding it make it so complicated and it is no wonder those that are saying so are those that aren't married and have a fairy tale point of view of marriage.

  8. #8
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    Re: Is it haram to live under the same roof as your wife after you have divorced her?

    Quote Originally Posted by Adam_Jallow View Post
    Salaam Alaikum

    My name is Adam. My wife asked me for a divorce because she could not cope with the fact that I have to travel for long periods of time outside of The UK on business in order to provide for my family. She found it very stressful that I could be away for 14 weeks at time. I wrote her a signed letter and dated letter giving her triple talaq as per her request so she has something on paper to show that she has been divorced. I completed this letter just over 2 months ago, so I will be returning to The UK on holiday in a months time. She has made the spare room up for me to stay, so we are not in the same bed together at night, but I am concerned that it is still haram as we will be divorced and therefore we should not be spending the night together even if we are under the same roof. I am very concerned about this and I am looking for some advice from fellow members on this matter that is reference to the Quran or Hadiths. Perhaps what I should be doing is looking to stay with friends in the local area in order that I can see my son by day and then spend the night with friends away from my ex wife.

    Adam
    Bro, you've learnt a valuable but painful lesson on here. Any man coming on here wanting to divorce his wife or live away from her, he's had it. Heard that phrase "judge, jury & executioner"..??? Well, there's hordes of em on here bro..!!

    The advice you need is quite specialised. There ain't any scholars on here, apart from armchair/Internet ones. Get yourself down to your local mosque, talk to your imam. If he doesn't know that ask to be referred to a scholar.

    I'm aware of this organisation, you could check them out:- http://www.islamic-sharia.org/

  9. #9
    Pray for the Oppressed Fairy's Avatar
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    Re: Is it haram to live under the same roof as your wife after you have divorced her?

    no one is reading properly, he didnt ask for his wife back

    he said can i stay under the same roof

    so lets just answer what hes asking, getting back wid his wife is his business lol
    And they who disbelieved and denied Our signs - for those there will be a humiliating punishment.
    Im trying so hard to be good

  10. #10
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    Re: Is it haram to live under the same roof as your wife after you have divorced her?

    Yeah none of our business honestly,

    OP take Chamelon's advice.

    may Allah guide us ameen.
    Laqad Zanal Bilada Wa Man A3layha, Imam ul-muslimeen Abu Haneefah
    good after ن

  11. #11

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    Re: Is it haram to live under the same roof as your wife after you have divorced her?

    Quote Originally Posted by Fairy View Post
    no one is reading properly, he didnt ask for his wife back

    he said can i stay under the same roof

    so lets just answer what hes asking, getting back wid his wife is his business lol
    You are correct but based on what he wrote it seems such a trivial thing to divorce over.

  12. #12
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    Re: Is it haram to live under the same roof as your wife after you have divorced her?

    Quote Originally Posted by BitterMo View Post
    You are correct but based on what he wrote it seems such a trivial thing to divorce over.
    I disagree.

    Being away from your partner, for over three months at a time is no easy feat. Especially if there are young children in the picture.

    My husband travels, only a week or so at a time, however because its difficult for me to manage a house without a man, and due to the possibility of emergencies. He drops me back home to my parents. I couldn't imagine being on my own for months at a time.

  13. #13
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    Re: Is it haram to live under the same roof as your wife after you have divorced her?

    There is a difference of opinion about the "triple talaq" that you stated

    Unless you really married her and divorced her three time then even if you say "talaq" three times or write it three times it only count as one, and that's the majority of the scholars

    Brother try to work things out.

  14. #14

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    Re: Is it haram to live under the same roof as your wife after you have divorced her?

    Quote Originally Posted by LondonGal View Post
    I disagree.

    Being away from your partner, for over three months at a time is no easy feat. Especially if there are young children in the picture.

    My husband travels, only a week or so at a time, however because its difficult for me to manage a house without a man, and due to the possibility of emergencies. He drops me back home to my parents. I couldn't imagine being on my own for months at a time.
    You misunderstood. I'm not criticising the sister here, I'm criticising the bother for not leaving his job! Wife > job.

  15. #15
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    Re: Is it haram to live under the same roof as your wife after you have divorced her?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lead27 View Post
    There is a difference of opinion about the "triple talaq" that you stated

    Unless you really married her and divorced her three time then even if you say "talaq" three times or write it three times it only count as one, and that's the majority of the scholars

    Brother try to work things out.
    I thought the same thing too as in that case the marriage could be saved

  16. #16
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    Re: Is it haram to live under the same roof as your wife after you have divorced her?

    Did you ever consider getting another job? Also there is itklaaf on the issue if giving all 3 talqaaq in one go. Many scholars say it has to be done 3 separate times. And there is a 3 month( or 3 menstrual cycles).

    And to answer your question no it's not halal to share a house with your ex wife. If you are really divorced from her she is non mahram to you now.
    Say, O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.
    (Surah Az Zumar, (Chapter 39: Verse 53)

  17. #17
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    Re: Is it haram to live under the same roof as your wife after you have divorced her?



    Im closing this thread, because I am extremely concerned about the replies that you are getting.

    There ar no scholars on this forum that are qualified to answer your question, which are or a very serious nature.

    If you need advice on who you contact, drop me a pm and Insha'allah along with the other mods we can put you in touch with reliable scholars who can best advise you.

    May Allah swt make things easy for you and your family.

    وَالْعَصْرِ

    إِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ

    إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ


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