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  1. #1
    أبو جيد جدا InTheBegining's Avatar
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    Multiple wife's and salafism

    Salam Alaikum,

    A while ago I had a discussion with my friend who is married about having a second, just a general conversation and he was so opposed to it. Because according to him he just didn't see how he would love two people and said he loves his wife too much to even contemplate it and would never do such thing as he knows how his wife's feels about it. Alhamdolillah since then we have both started to practice at a higher level then we used to.

    He goes to this salafi mosque local to him, and feels quite strong about being a salafi which is fine and alhamdulilah we don't differ much just a few bits with regards to al walâ wal bara but recently we had the exact same discussion about second wife's and his point of view completely changed. He explained that as a man he feels he needs a second wife because Allah SW has made us men into such creature's that it would help him control his desires as a man and he also said a few other things.

    He laughed at me when I said that I know we are allowed 4 wife's and it's fine in our Deen, in fact the Prophet saw even had more than one wife, but alhamdulilah am ok with my 1 wife and I really do love my wife and wouldn't want to do something that would cause a rift in a healthy marriage and plus I couldn't take on the extra load of another wife.

    I was so gobsmacked with the 360 change of his stance towards this matter especially the way he laughed at me and said "you wouldn't say that when you are overcome by your desires" i.e I'd regret my stance if I sin due to my desires (which btw are being fulfilled by my 1 wife). Seriously though this guy is the type of guy that would die for his wife, like he would call in sick to work so his wife could sleep in and he can watch the kids, or he would send her flowers every other day. But his view has changed so much so that he sees it necessary to have more than one wife and he said that if he had known what he knows now before he got married, maybe he would have married someone else who wouldn't oppose it i.e not his current wife

    So my question is; is there something in the teaching of salafism that encourages rather than just teachs about having more than one wife.
    Last edited by InTheBegining; 03-12-13 at 10:24 AM.

  2. #121
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    Re: Multiple wife's and salafism

    Quote Originally Posted by Umm_Hanzalah View Post
    I repled to your questions, the emabarrassed one (you)n didn't. Stop being just a hypocrite.
    you didn't reply to any question at all.

    Please show us where you did respond.

    as I posted :

    Quote Originally Posted by monti
    I asked about these people (the Jihadyya salafis) and what other posters think of their worldview

    I only received tirades about the crimes committed by democracies and their evil essence and strong implications that I am personally responsible for them
    plus, from you, an insult (hypocrite) and some nonsense about bedbugs.

    Best

  3. #122
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    Re: Multiple wife's and salafism

    Quote Originally Posted by Umm_Hanzalah View Post
    Those who support these crimes are complicit in them and they are definitely complicit when they come out with the same oppressive stance as their governments. They make up stupid things like such and such group have waged war on the world and fail to look at their own backyard.
    OK, once again :

    how is it possible to announce that Shariah will be extended to the whole world by the sword, without declaring war on the whole world ?

    does anyone have an answer to this question ? or, do these people (Jihadyya Salafis) simply not exist, or are these people just misguided, in clear error etc etc ?

    or, is HelpaBroOut simply making up things ? why has no one reacted, then ?
    Last edited by monti; 07-01-13 at 04:45 PM.

  4. #123
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    Re: Multiple wife's and salafism

    Quote Originally Posted by Starship View Post
    Brother, with all due respect, my information is direct from a woman who is going through this issue and information is getting around about the continous talking by brothers on polygyny all of the time. Everytime someone voices concern, suddenly "slander slander" gets shouted! I havent even mentioned anyone by name or which masjid it is.

    Why dont we all just shut up and let this fitna continue then, right!
    Fitnah?!!!! if you can't differentiate between fitnah and sunnah then you have a serious problem! and if you judge by one case of "a woman" then you have another problem! who said that she is not assuming or just saying what she "thinks"?!

    Polygamous marriage is SUNNAH! if you want us to "shut up" because you don't like it, i.e. you want to spread your selfish concept...then don't blam others who try to spread some SUNNAH which may solve problems of many suffering muslim sisters!

    That's the difference...you wanna spread a selfish feminine concept of monogamous marriage regardless the so many divorced and widow women we currently have in out ummah, while "bad" salafis want to spread sunnah and want all sisters to be cared for and to have husbands because those who are divorced or widowed are not incomplete-women who should just stay in homes and wait for death! they are still women with the right to have men's accompany!

    If you give yourself the right to talk against salafis because they support that SUNNAH for the sake of ummah (because salafis will not get anything if another man marries another wife...obviously it's for ummah)...then they also have the right to encourage what they think to be sunnah and solution to many muslim sisters!

    And yes you haven't mentioned names but you pointed that salafis in general have some attitude....and this is ideal slandering!

    A simple question...what do you call polygamous marriage? FITNAH?! Sheikh ABu Ishaq Al-heweny (most famous hadith scholar in Egypt) said "I don't know of any companion who died while he has only one woman"! if it wasn't for polygamous marriage many women at the prophet's time would be single! so the true fitnah is actually fighting polygamous marriage and those who encourage it!
    Last edited by Muslimguycanada; 08-01-13 at 02:42 AM.

  5. #124
    أحمد‎ Muslim First's Avatar
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    Re: Multiple wife's and salafism

    Quote Originally Posted by Muslimguycanada View Post
    Audo Bellah, this topic is full of slandering.....

    Some people just find pleasure in slandering others...e.g. saying salafis marry and divorce and marry and divorce, calling them bandits, claiming they have disasters etc....beside being stupid illogical comments because marriage and divorcing need lots of money, not something for free, it's a clear slandering!

    Some people "especially sisters" can't take the fact that marrying more than one wife is "SUNNAH" so they try their best to accuse others of
    "what suits them, they use to their advantage and what doesn't suit them, they discard as "merely sunnah"."!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I personally know many cases where the woman was totally against polygamous marriage, then her husband died and she became ok with it to be a second or thrid wife, yet she didn't find any man who will marry her! and those women now regret, and they say now we understand what we were saying, and personally I think there is an Aya totally fits that "Are they recompensed except for what they used to do?" Al-A'raf 147

    To all those who don't fear Allah about slandering others...including the so-called medievilist (I think the name fits him!) and starship and others.....salafis are not womanizers, salafis are not marrying then divorcing then marrying then divorcing, this is not even applicable because every marriage needs money...so this is clear lies! salafis are not after polygamous marriage because they had many gf's (Audo bellah of that slandering) salafis are not discouraging anyone to have one wife....yet they are representing the sunnah or polygamous marriage because they care about muslim single women (not like most of sisters who are merely selfish)....if salafis were just about women they would just apply polygamous marriage, without the need to spread it! but if the courage people to follow this sunnah, that's because in a city like cairo in egypt we have 5 million unmarried muslim women! because in gulf countries the number of maiden muslim women is horrible! because many many muslim women are divorced, widowed, or maiden!

    If you can't take that polygamous marriage is sunnah, it's up to you! and if you can't accept it again it's up to you! but don't put your anger on others, don't accuse other and don't spread slandering!

    Even if polygamous marriage was not even sunnah, subhanallah it's a permitted thing at least...what's your problem if some people do it? what's your problem if they recommend it to others?! does that mean you start distorting them or slandering them?! subhanallah, for some people....free opinion means you can say your opinion and recommend it, but others can't! salafis can't advise other brothers to marrya again, but you can spread teh idea of marrying one time! salafis can't advise others by second marriage because thwy are nosey, while you can criticize salafis advice to others, and you are not nosey?!!!! if you think it's none of salafis business and they shouldn't advise other brothers, then it's also none of your business unless they advise your own husband! at least they are spreading sunnah and solution to many social problems!

    Finally I remind all of us (especially the so-called medievil,ist starship and all who followed the same path of slandering others) by what Allah has said "O you who have believed, if there comes to you a disobedient one with information, investigate, lest you harm a people out of ignorance and become, over what you have done, regretful." Al-Hujurat 6.

    And..."O you who have believed, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be better than them; nor let women ridicule [other] women; perhaps they may be better than them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other by [offensive] nicknames. Wretched is the name of disobedience after [one's] faith. And whoever does not repent - then it is those who are the wrongdoers." Al-Hujurat 11.

    So please stop slandering and distorting others!

    P.S. to the OP...that's why I was criticizing the topic...because it did nothing but opening the door in front of ignorant slandering comments against a certain group of people as you saw!
    No problem with marrying more than 1. But don't treat them like prostitutes and throw them to the side after a couple weeks. It's a big epidemic in the uk, and if you deny that the salafi marriage bandits are a problem then I question your sanity. Why we single them out as "salafi" is because this cult shouts and screams that they're on the straight path and everyone else is ahlul biddah. But funny thing is us so called "ahlul biddah" treat our women with honor like the Quran and Sunnah told us to.. funny that the people on the straight path didn't read about the fiqh of marriage.
    "The organisation that is called as "the state" puts effort to destroy jihad in Sham as they destroyed it in Iraq because of their obvious transgressions against Quran and Sunnah." Abu Khalid as-Suri (Rahimahullah)

  6. #125
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    Re: Multiple wife's and salafism

    Quote Originally Posted by Muslim First View Post
    No problem with marrying more than 1. But don't treat them like prostitutes and throw them to the side after a couple weeks. It's a big epidemic in the uk, and if you deny that the salafi marriage bandits are a problem then I question your sanity. Why we single them out as "salafi" is because this cult shouts and screams that they're on the straight path and everyone else is ahlul biddah. But funny thing is us so called "ahlul biddah" treat our women with honor like the Quran and Sunnah told us to.. funny that the people on the straight path didn't read about the fiqh of marriage.
    Huh? treat them as prostitutes?! yes I deny that stupid claims! show me evidences please! otherwise, I find it the opposite! that salafis treat wives much better than others! and "bandit" marriages outside of salafis are much more!

    And there is another lie in your post, that salafis call everyone else "ahlul biddah" which is total nonsense.....but anyways so nice that you classified yourself as "Ahul biddah" so we know now why you claim that they call everyone "ahlul bida'ah", and as a ahlul bidda person (as you admitted), I don't believe your lies! and what you say is not a truth by default so that whoever doesn't believe it is insane as you claim! I don't believe you that salafis treat women as prostitutes, and I don't believe you that most of salafis marriages are bandits as you claim...Moreover I say you are a liar who is spreading slanders about salafis because you hate them because you are "Ahul bidda" like you classified yourself! and allover history mobtade'a were always fighting Ahl al sunnah! Now prove I'm wrong and show me an evidence or your lying will be proven to everyone!

    Othewise...I can say "Ahul bidda" like you treat their women as prostitutes and treat their women the worst ever without having an evidence like you, and that if you deny it I question your sanity...now prove you are right and I'm wrong! About fiqh of marriage....trust me...I'm sure your knowledge of fiqh of marriage is no more than my knowledge of mandarin!

    so funny those who accuse others didn't even read qura'an and know that they can't accuse others without bayena "evidence"

    Allah has said "O you who have believed, if there comes to you a disobedient one with information, investigate, lest you harm a people out of ignorance and become, over what you have done, regretful." Al-Hujurat 6.

    And..."O you who have believed, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be better than them; nor let women ridicule [other] women; perhaps they may be better than them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other by [offensive] nicknames. Wretched is the name of disobedience after [one's] faith. And whoever does not repent - then it is those who are the wrongdoers." Al-Hujurat 11.
    Last edited by Muslimguycanada; 08-01-13 at 08:04 AM.

  7. #126
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    Re: Multiple wife's and salafism

    Quote Originally Posted by monti View Post
    because I am interested in "salafi" world view

    I am interested in particular as to why part of them (if HelpaBrotherOut is right) seem to think that they can announce that they will extend Shariah to the whole world by the sword but yet deny that this constitutes a declaration of war to the entire world

    To me,this seems entirely illogical, but I haven't received any answer to my questions, only tirades against democracy and encouragements to bedbugs so that they may bite me.

    Not much.
    researching on a forum for your phd thesis?

    wow

  8. #127
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    Re: Multiple wife's and salafism

    Quote Originally Posted by monti View Post
    this is not the way "most non muslims/atheists think" (there is no common ideology), it's the way everyone thinks

    the same person can make good arguments but also bad arguments

    arguments stand on their own feet, not on the feet of the person making them
    I dont think yiu can say all atheists/non muslims subscribe to this, and certainly not everyone

    In the example I give there is no argument, a person is presenting something as fact and it is accepted, yet another 'fact' isnt
    the initial fact is disputed and evidence put forward but not accepted as this person is seen as correct

    1% of him is accepted as it suits the other is written off

    the reliability of the person making the argument is what everything stems from and stands upon, to say otherwise is insincere and shows clear bias and/or agenda

  9. #128
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    Re: Multiple wife's and salafism

    Quote Originally Posted by InTheBegining View Post
    Salam Alaikum,

    A while ago I had a discussion with my friend who is married about having a second, just a general conversation and he was so oppose to it. Because according to him he just didn't see how he would love two people and said he loves his wife too much to even contemplate it and would never do such thing as he knows how his wife's feels about it. Alhamdolillah since then we have both started practice at a higher level then we use to.

    He goes to this salafi mosque local to him, and feels quite strong about being a salafi which is fine and alhamdulilah we don't differ much just a few bits with regards to al walâ wal bara but recently we had the exact same discussion about second wife's and his point of view completely changed. He explained that as a man he feels he needs a second wife because Allah has made as men into such creature's that it would help him control his desires as a man and he also said a few other things.

    He laughed at me when I said that I know we are allowed 4 wife's and it's fine in our Deen, in fact the Prophet saw even had more than one wife, but alhamdulilah am ok with my 1 wife and I really do love my wife and wouldn't want to make her sad because she would be and plus I couldn't take on the extra load of another wife.

    I was so gobsmacked with the 360 change of his stance towards this matter especially the way he laughed at me and said "you wouldn't say that when you are overcome by your desires" i.e I'd regret my stance if I sin due to my desires (which btw are being fulfilled by my 1 wife). Seriously though this guy is the type of guy that would die for his wife, like he would call in sick to work so his wife could sleep in and he can watch the kids, or he would send her flowers every other day. But his view has changed so much that he sees it necessary to have more than one wife and he said that if he had known what he knows now before he got married, maybe he would have married someone else who wouldn't oppose it i.e not his current wife

    So my question is; is there something in the teaching of salafism that encourages rather than just teachs about having more than one wife.

    004:003 Yusufali
    :
    If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, Marry women of your choice, Two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice.


    »Sahabas had more than one wife

    »Prophet muhammed pbuh had 10 wives plus maria

    »There are more women in the world than men, so if each man married only one, what happens to the remaining sisters?

    Some men Allah created to have more than one wife, because they are wealthy enough, can handle the nagging, and try their best to be fair.

    Other men are only made for one woman, its all cool why do you sound so alarmed, at the end of the day the law is Allah's, its ok to have more than one wife if you can upkeep the conditions
    "If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor."

  10. #129
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    Re: Multiple wife's and salafism

    Quote Originally Posted by Muslim First View Post
    No problem with marrying more than 1. But don't treat them like prostitutes and throw them to the side after a couple weeks. It's a big epidemic in the uk, and if you deny that the salafi marriage bandits are a problem then I question your sanity. Why we single them out as "salafi" is because this cult shouts and screams that they're on the straight path and everyone else is ahlul biddah. But funny thing is us so called "ahlul biddah" treat our women with honor like the Quran and Sunnah told us to.. funny that the people on the straight path didn't read about the fiqh of marriage.
    Sister?

    Nobody has the right to call you "ahlul biddah" whateverthat means.

    You are a muslim, you strive to follow quran and sunnah, so am I, I try my best too. Maybe you may stick to one madhab, and maybe I don't, but no one has the right to call the other such names.

    As for marrying more than one, well in every race culture and religion, there are men who don't fear allah but don't knock the ones that do sister, there are men also of honour, who fear allah
    "If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor."

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    Re: Multiple wife's and salafism

    Quote Originally Posted by nonameakhi View Post

    I dont think yiu can say all atheists/non muslims subscribe to this, and certainly not everyone

    In the example I give there is no argument, a person is presenting something as fact and it is accepted, yet another 'fact' isnt
    the initial fact is disputed and evidence put forward but not accepted as this person is seen as correct

    1% of him is accepted as it suits the other is written off

    the reliability of the person making the argument is what everything stems from and stands upon, to say otherwise is insincere and shows clear bias and/or agenda
    sorry, but your post is not very clear

    people have, quite often, good reasons for accepting or refusing claims and arguments

    I say it's a fact that the Sun is hot, it is accepted
    I say it's a fact that the Earth is flat, it is not accepted

    is that clear bias ?
    Last edited by monti; 08-01-13 at 08:11 AM.

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    Re: Multiple wife's and salafism

    Quote Originally Posted by Abu 'Abdullaah View Post
    researching on a forum for your phd thesis?

    wow
    I tend not to spend the entire day on this forum

    in any case, you have doubted my personal honesty, so I think there is little room for civil intercourse and discussion with you anymore

    good bye

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    Re: Multiple wife's and salafism

    Quote Originally Posted by monti View Post
    sorry, but your post is not very clear

    people have, quite often, good reasons for accepting or refusing claims and arguments

    I say it's a fact that the Sun is hot, it is accepted
    I say it's a fact that the Earth is flat, it is not accepted

    is that clear bias ?
    again insincere, this example is at 50%

    If you are a known liar then it doesnt matter what you say about what, its not worth listening to

    If you are a person who is trustworthy and make a claim then it cannot be ignored

  14. #133
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    Re: Multiple wife's and salafism

    Quote Originally Posted by nonameakhi View Post
    again insincere, this example is at 50%

    If you are a known liar then it doesnt matter what you say about what, its not worth listening to

    If you are a person who is trustworthy and make a claim then it cannot be ignored
    I have no idea what you are trying to prove

    a dishonest person stating a truth does not make it false

    in any case, I have spent far too much time on this useless hair-splitting

    have a nice day

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    Re: Multiple wife's and salafism

    lol its weird. when someone asks me to help find a husband for someone. I ask people and the usual response I get is, "brothers already married but looking for a 2nd wife". lool. case closed.

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    Re: Multiple wife's and salafism

    Quote Originally Posted by Muslimguycanada View Post
    Fitnah?!!!! if you can't differentiate between fitnah and sunnah then you have a serious problem! and if you judge by one case of "a woman" then you have another problem! who said that she is not assuming or just saying what she "thinks"?!

    Polygamous marriage is SUNNAH! if you want us to "shut up" because you don't like it, i.e. you want to spread your selfish concept...then don't blam others who try to spread some SUNNAH which may solve problems of many suffering muslim sisters!

    That's the difference...you wanna spread a selfish feminine concept of monogamous marriage regardless the so many divorced and widow women we currently have in out ummah, while "bad" salafis want to spread sunnah and want all sisters to be cared for and to have husbands because those who are divorced or widowed are not incomplete-women who should just stay in homes and wait for death! they are still women with the right to have men's accompany!

    If you give yourself the right to talk against salafis because they support that SUNNAH for the sake of ummah (because salafis will not get anything if another man marries another wife...obviously it's for ummah)...then they also have the right to encourage what they think to be sunnah and solution to many muslim sisters!

    And yes you haven't mentioned names but you pointed that salafis in general have some attitude....and this is ideal slandering!

    A simple question...what do you call polygamous marriage? FITNAH?! Sheikh ABu Ishaq Al-heweny (most famous hadith scholar in Egypt) said "I don't know of any companion who died while he has only one woman"! if it wasn't for polygamous marriage many women at the prophet's time would be single! so the true fitnah is actually fighting polygamous marriage and those who encourage it!
    I never said I had an issue with polygyny!!!


    Funny how you men always bring in feminism!

    I am actually one of them i.e go to that masjid and regard myself as salafi. hahaha

    And its not just one sister from the masjid - its loads of them.

    I may have generalised here but your reply is so silly I just had to laugh cos I dont have issues with polygyny and i know its sunnah......Now that you have had a chance to throw your toys out the pram! LOL...get a grip brother!!! (and women are always accused of getting emotional...look at you brother...ranting like a banshee).

    P.S At least say its Polygyny. Get it right bro (haha)
    Last edited by Starship; 08-01-13 at 03:35 PM.

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    Re: Multiple wife's and salafism

    [QUOTE=Muslimguycanada;4997900]

    Bro, take a deep breath. Have a glass of water.

    Then reply with a mature and non confrontational attitude. Learn to debate with etiquette and decorum.

    (And in future dont use the feminism phrase. Its been used so many times by people, it gets rather funny!).

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    Re: Multiple wife's and salafism

    Quote Originally Posted by Starship View Post
    I never said I had an issue with polygyny!!!


    Funny how you men always bring in feminism!

    I am actually one of them i.e go to that masjid and regard myself as salafi. hahaha

    And its not just one sister from the masjid - its loads of them.

    I may have generalised here but your reply is so silly I just had to laugh cos I dont have issues with polygyny and i know its sunnah......Now that you have had a chance to throw your toys out the pram! LOL...get a grip brother!!! (and women are always accused of getting emotional...look at you brother...ranting like a banshee).

    P.S At least say its Polygyny. Get it right bro (haha)
    No reply yet! what's the fitna which you meant then? plus not everyone who says i'm salafi is a salafi, if you say you are salafi and accuse others of being "maarying and divorcing and marrying and divorcing etc...." then I doubt it! plus you say it's loads of sisters? fine, give me a number!

    stop stupid slandering please! and oh i'm not nervous at all, obviously you are the nervous one! you pick up stupid stuff to make fun of, in other words mocking, which is rude and even stupid!

    It's called polygamous marriage! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polygamy

    so learn before you look naive when you mock something which is true but your are ignorant of it!

    for the feminism, so what? it has been used many times but it fits your immature selfish comment, so what?

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    Re: Multiple wife's and salafism

    Quote Originally Posted by Muslimguycanada View Post
    No reply yet! what's the fitna which you meant then? plus not everyone who says i'm salafi is a salafi, if you say you are salafi and accuse others of being "maarying and divorcing and marrying and divorcing etc...." then I doubt it! plus you say it's loads of sisters? fine, give me a number!

    stop stupid slandering please! and oh i'm not nervous at all, obviously you are the nervous one! you pick up stupid stuff to make fun of, in other words mocking, which is rude and even stupid!

    It's called polygamous marriage! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polygamy

    so learn before you look naive when you mock something which is true but your are ignorant of it!

    for the feminism, so what? it has been used many times but it fits your immature selfish comment, so what?
    Bro firstly calm down akhi. Secondly, it is known that some salafis a4e into marrying and divorcing pretty fast. There are websites dedicated to such issues. That doesn't mean all salafis, just some.
    "Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodes"

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    Re: Multiple wife's and salafism

    Quote Originally Posted by Muslimguycanada View Post
    No reply yet! what's the fitna which you meant then? plus not everyone who says i'm salafi is a salafi, if you say you are salafi and accuse others of being "maarying and divorcing and marrying and divorcing etc...." then I doubt it! plus you say it's loads of sisters? fine, give me a number!

    stop stupid slandering please! and oh i'm not nervous at all, obviously you are the nervous one! you pick up stupid stuff to make fun of, in other words mocking, which is rude and even stupid!

    It's called polygamous marriage! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polygamy

    so learn before you look naive when you mock something which is true but your are ignorant of it!

    for the feminism, so what? it has been used many times but it fits your immature selfish comment, so what?
    Bro,

    I dont know what post you have read but you havent read mine. Go back and read all of my posts. Did I say that anywhere in my posts that you are nervouse. Go back find the post where I state you are nervous.

    Where do I say "maarying and divorcing and marrying and divorcing etc...." . Go back to all of my posts and find those words. I was making reference to a personal friend's situation and it doesnt mention divorce.

    I never mocked polygyny.

    Finally, read English pls. Polygamy refers to partners NOT gender. When a man is married to more than one wife at a time, the relationship is called polygyny,

    You obviously need your head examined because you make reference to Wikpedia without reading anything. LOL Here is the full reference you made. Read it properly:

    Polygamy (from πολύς γάμος polys gamos, translated literally in Late Greek as "many married")[1] is a marriage which includes more than two partners.[1] When a man is married to more than one wife at a time, the relationship is called polygyny, and there is no marriage bond between the wives; and when a woman is married to more than one husband at a time, it is called polyandry, and there is no marriage bond between the husbands. If a marriage includes multiple husbands and wives, it can be called group marriage.[1] The term is used in related ways in social anthropology, sociobiology, sociology, as well as in popular speech. In social anthropology, polygamy is the practice of a person's making him/herself available for two or more spouses to mate with. In contrast, monogamy is a marriage consisting of only two parties. Like monogamy, the term is often used in a de facto sense, applying regardless of whether the relationships are recognized by the state (see marriage for a discussion on the extent to which states can and do recognize potentially and actually polygamous forms as valid). In sociobiology and zoology, polygamy is used in a broad sense to mean any form of multiple mating.


    I am done in this convo. Obviously this Muslimguycanada has some mental or emotional issues he needs to deal with.

    His toys out of the pram again! LOL and is calling me selfish and immature. LOL

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    Re: Multiple wife's and salafism

    Quote Originally Posted by Starship View Post
    Bro,

    I dont know what post you have read but you havent read mine. Go back and read all of my posts. Did I say that anywhere in my posts that you are nervouse. Go back find the post where I state you are nervous.

    Where do I say "maarying and divorcing and marrying and divorcing etc...." . Go back to all of my posts and find those words. I was making reference to a personal friend's situation and it doesnt mention divorce.

    I never mocked polygyny.

    Finally, read English pls. Polygamy refers to partners NOT gender. When a man is married to more than one wife at a time, the relationship is called polygyny,

    You obviously need your head examined because you make reference to Wikpedia without reading anything. LOL Here is the full reference you made. Read it properly:

    Polygamy (from πολύς γάμος polys gamos, translated literally in Late Greek as "many married")[1] is a marriage which includes more than two partners.[1] When a man is married to more than one wife at a time, the relationship is called polygyny, and there is no marriage bond between the wives; and when a woman is married to more than one husband at a time, it is called polyandry, and there is no marriage bond between the husbands. If a marriage includes multiple husbands and wives, it can be called group marriage.[1] The term is used in related ways in social anthropology, sociobiology, sociology, as well as in popular speech. In social anthropology, polygamy is the practice of a person's making him/herself available for two or more spouses to mate with. In contrast, monogamy is a marriage consisting of only two parties. Like monogamy, the term is often used in a de facto sense, applying regardless of whether the relationships are recognized by the state (see marriage for a discussion on the extent to which states can and do recognize potentially and actually polygamous forms as valid). In sociobiology and zoology, polygamy is used in a broad sense to mean any form of multiple mating.


    I am done in this convo. Obviously this Muslimguycanada has some mental or emotional issues he needs to deal with.


    His toys out of the pram again! LOL and is calling me selfish and immature. LOL
    Besides being rude, ignorant and naive, your posts are totally nonsense and lies!

    1-here is the post where you accuses salafis of being "marrying and divorcing and marrying and divorcing etc..."

    Quote Originally Posted by Starship View Post
    Whats more interesting is that he has only recently become so vocal after attending a local salafi masjid where just the same very attitude exists as mentioned by Medievilist. Brothers marrying and divorcing and then encouraging other brothers who perfectly happy with one wife to then seek new wives.
    Either those words are yous and so you are a liar! or I have made them up! what do you think? there is another minor possibility that you are the one who has mental issues which makes you forget and can't think properly!

    2- About the polygamy, again it seems you are the one who has a shortage in her mental abilities so you accuse all other by it!
    I didn't comment when you used "polygyny" because I know it's correct, and I didn't say you mocked polygamous marriage, but you commented when I used "polygamous marriage", mocked, and looked ignorant laughing at it although it's also correct to call it "polygamous marriage", with that immature (haha) at the end,

    Quote Originally Posted by Starship View Post
    P.S At least say its Polygyny. Get it right bro (haha)
    So I referred to wikipedia as an evidence that it's also called "polygamous marriage" not as an evidence against polygyny because I know it's also true and I never denied it! to prove that you were ignorantly mocking a termination which is accurate but you are ignorant of it! if you can't understand this.....question your mental abilities!

    Wikipedia stated clearly that it's also called polygamous marriage, away from wikipedia...here is a fatwa shows that even when a man is married to more than a woman it can also called polygamy:

    ".....With regard to what you mention about the reason for your backing off being the idea of plural marriage [polygamy or polygyny], we will present to you the ruling on plural marriage in Islam, and then the wisdom and noble purposes behind it....."

    http://islamqa.info/en/ref/14022

    and in that site a whole subject is called "Rulings on polygamy"!

    http://www.islamweb.net/emainpage/in...ab=1&vPart=799

    So right now I proved it's also called "polygamy" while you ignorantly laughed at it and mocked it, don't you feel so ignorant? there is a famous arab proverb says "man is the enemy of what he is ignorant of"!

    Finally you didn't reply...what's the fitnah which you meant? and another question...if you have no problem with "polygamous marriage" why do you have a problem with salafis spreading it? looks too contradictory?! oh and the number of "the loads" of sisters who told you that salafis are blah blah blah!

    I think this post is so enough to show you level of ignorance..away from your level of respect which is shown by how you insult, mock and laugh at others (the underlined parts in your quoted post and calling me "ranting like a banshee" which shows your level of respect!)! If I have a mental problem then after what I have shown in this post, you don't have any mind at all!

    Quote Originally Posted by RashidD View Post
    Bro firstly calm down akhi. Secondly, it is known that some salafis a4e into marrying and divorcing pretty fast. There are websites dedicated to such issues. That doesn't mean all salafis, just some.
    I'm calm brother but I don't like slandering...no salafis are not into marriage and divorcing very fast! To me...it's the exact rumors which Kuffar spread against muslims in general without evidences...same concept as what's being followed against salafis now!

    Where is the evidence of that? where are those sites which you point to? and even if they are found "and I would be happy to see them!" is that an enough evidence?! subhanallah...where is the evidence?!!!! fine. from what I have seen salafis are the least to divorce and the best settled houses...and islam told us that the base is to think well about any muslim unless you have an evidence that they are not good, so show us the evidence which supports that salafis marry and divorce and marry and divorce...subhanallah

    It's even illogical, people here are talking as if marrying and divorcing is for free! one divorce is very very financially costing, so how come they do it that frequent?!!!! they should be multi millionaires then! although in other parts of this same topic salafis were called to be "living off job seeker allowance"! so they are accused by contradicting stuff....leading to one conclusion..that people try to spread any distorting rumors about them in any way!

    Kindly, show me that sites which are dedicated to "Salafis' pretty fast marriage and divorcing"! and please make them true acceptable trustworthy sources, not just a blog of salafi-hater, or a fake personal site of a fake "previous salafi" as they call themselves! because if that's the case I can get you blogs against anything you want...even against the whole islam! and i remember seeing here on this forum very weird links, one was to anti-islam blog which supports france in banning niqab because it's "inhumane" and the other was for one sister all her problem in life is with a salafi imam who abused her, so she made up a whole site with lots of words for that purpose! and guess what? the whole site just have her personal story and two other stories all against one man! that's enough for her to claim that salafis are "marriage bandits"!
    Last edited by Muslimguycanada; 09-01-13 at 03:54 AM.

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    Re: Multiple wife's and salafism

    Quote Originally Posted by Muslimguycanada View Post
    I'm calm brother but I don't like slandering...no salafis are not into marriage and divorcing very fast! To me...it's the exact rumors which Kuffar spread against muslims in general without evidences...same concept as what's being followed against salafis now!

    Where is the evidence of that? where are those sites which you point to? and even if they are found "and I would be happy to see them!" is that an enough evidence?! subhanallah...where is the evidence?!!!! fine. from what I have seen salafis are the least to divorce and the best settled houses...and islam told us that the base is to think well about any muslim unless you have an evidence that they are not good, so show us the evidence which supports that salafis marry and divorce and marry and divorce...subhanallah

    It's even illogical, people here are talking as if marrying and divorcing is for free! one divorce is very very financially costing, so how come they do it that frequent?!!!! they should be multi millionaires then! although in other parts of this same topic salafis were called to be "living off job seeker allowance"! so they are accused by contradicting stuff....leading to one conclusion..that people try to spread any distorting rumors about them in any way!

    Kindly, show me that sites which are dedicated to "Salafis' pretty fast marriage and divorcing"! and please make them true acceptable trustworthy sources, not just a blog of salafi-hater, or a fake personal site of a fake "previous salafi" as they call themselves! because if that's the case I can get you blogs against anything you want...even against the whole islam! and i remember seeing here on this forum very weird links, one was to anti-islam blog which supports france in banning niqab because it's "inhumane" and the other was for one sister all her problem in life is with a salafi imam who abused her, so she made up a whole site with lots of words for that purpose! and guess what? the whole site just have her personal story and two other stories all against one man! that's enough for her to claim that salafis are "marriage bandits"!
    I've sent you a link in your rep. Didn't think it was wise to post it openly. There are more sites than that one.
    "Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodes"

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    Re: Multiple wife's and salafism

    Quote Originally Posted by RashidD View Post
    I've sent you a link in your rep. Didn't think it was wise to post it openly. There are more sites than that one.
    Subhanallah Akhie! Brother we are the ummah of investigation, the Ummah of al tathabot the ummah of evidences....What you sent me a post in a forum like this brother! and two or three repliers support it while others have that common type of commenting "never imagined that", "Audo bellah" etc....

    plus we all know the problem between madkhalis and jihadis, so it's quite common to find mutual accusations! I can go on some madkhali sites and get you dozens of nasty accusations against jihadis! (and I'm against madkhalis btw)....is that an evidence brother? borther...I swear i love you in Allah so i advice you and my self by investigation and never talking but with an evidence....

    i told you I don't want personal blogs etc....so you get me a forum post about the issue?! ok brother...suggest any issue you want and I challenge you that I will get at least 10 posts and blogs against it....let's say "most muslim men rape women" I challenge you that I'm able to get dozens of supporting posts, forums, articles, links etc...but are those evidences?!

    The link you got me says most of salafi "dua'at not even normal people! bellahy Alik should we believe that?! that most of our dua'at and ulemah are abusers?! so the whole religion is fake then because we take it from them!

    Again I advice myself, you brother and all muslims to never spread lies or rumors but with evidences because we accuse many innocents!

    (P.S. in Egypt before revolution the media was flooding every field that salafis are terrorists, killers, backwards, retarded, low state, etc...that's exactly what's happening regarding this issue! of course there are abusive salafis, but how can anyone say it's common or more than others without an evidence?!)

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    Re: Multiple wife's and salafism

    ..........

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    Re: Multiple wife's and salafism

    Narrated Anas: I will narrate to you a Hadith and none other than I will tell you about after it. I heard Allah's Apostle (Peace be upon him) saying: From among the portents of the Hour are (the following): 1. Religious knowledge will decrease (by the death of religious learned men). 2. Religious ignorance will prevail. 3. There will be prevalence of open illegal sexual intercourse. 4. women will increase in number and men will decrease in number so much so that fifty women will be looked after by one man. (Book #3, Hadith #81 Sahih Bukhari)

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    Re: Multiple wife's and salafism

    Quote Originally Posted by Muslimguycanada View Post
    Subhanallah Akhie! Brother we are the ummah of investigation, the Ummah of al tathabot the ummah of evidences....What you sent me a post in a forum like this brother! and two or three repliers support it while others have that common type of commenting "never imagined that", "Audo bellah" etc....

    plus we all know the problem between madkhalis and jihadis, so it's quite common to find mutual accusations! I can go on some madkhali sites and get you dozens of nasty accusations against jihadis! (and I'm against madkhalis btw)....is that an evidence brother? borther...I swear i love you in Allah so i advice you and my self by investigation and never talking but with an evidence....

    i told you I don't want personal blogs etc....so you get me a forum post about the issue?! ok brother...suggest any issue you want and I challenge you that I will get at least 10 posts and blogs against it....let's say "most muslim men rape women" I challenge you that I'm able to get dozens of supporting posts, forums, articles, links etc...but are those evidences?!

    The link you got me says most of salafi "dua'at not even normal people! bellahy Alik should we believe that?! that most of our dua'at and ulemah are abusers?! so the whole religion is fake then because we take it from them!

    Again I advice myself, you brother and all muslims to never spread lies or rumors but with evidences because we accuse many innocents!

    (P.S. in Egypt before revolution the media was flooding every field that salafis are terrorists, killers, backwards, retarded, low state, etc...that's exactly what's happening regarding this issue! of course there are abusive salafis, but how can anyone say it's common or more than others without an evidence?!)
    sadly this has become so widespread now, in all parts of the world and those who began it by saying ( especially online) "oh those salafis they do this and that" have started the biggest evil because now any muslim who practices his deen is called a "salafi" and is fair game to betortured and or assasinated. salafi now means any muslims who beleives in islam.
    "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

    The Prophet said:

    "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

    muslim

    Narrated 'Abdullah:

    The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


    "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

    By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

    [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]


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    Re: Multiple wife's and salafism

    Quote Originally Posted by Muslimguycanada View Post
    Subhanallah Akhie! Brother we are the ummah of investigation, the Ummah of al tathabot the ummah of evidences....What you sent me a post in a forum like this brother! and two or three repliers support it while others have that common type of commenting "never imagined that", "Audo bellah" etc....

    plus we all know the problem between madkhalis and jihadis, so it's quite common to find mutual accusations! I can go on some madkhali sites and get you dozens of nasty accusations against jihadis! (and I'm against madkhalis btw)....is that an evidence brother? borther...I swear i love you in Allah so i advice you and my self by investigation and never talking but with an evidence....

    i told you I don't want personal blogs etc....so you get me a forum post about the issue?! ok brother...suggest any issue you want and I challenge you that I will get at least 10 posts and blogs against it....let's say "most muslim men rape women" I challenge you that I'm able to get dozens of supporting posts, forums, articles, links etc...but are those evidences?!

    The link you got me says most of salafi "dua'at not even normal people! bellahy Alik should we believe that?! that most of our dua'at and ulemah are abusers?! so the whole religion is fake then because we take it from them!

    Again I advice myself, you brother and all muslims to never spread lies or rumors but with evidences because we accuse many innocents!

    (P.S. in Egypt before revolution the media was flooding every field that salafis are terrorists, killers, backwards, retarded, low state, etc...that's exactly what's happening regarding this issue! of course there are abusive salafis, but how can anyone say it's common or more than others without an evidence?!)
    Lol, that was an entire discussion on the topic. Anyway, it's pretty clear you've made up your mind on the issue and I'm also pretty sure people who have gone through this kinda thing know better.
    "Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodes"

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    Re: Multiple wife's and salafism

    Quote Originally Posted by *asiya* View Post
    sadly this has become so widespread now, in all parts of the world and those who began it by saying ( especially online) "oh those salafis they do this and that" have started the biggest evil because now any muslim who practices his deen is called a "salafi" and is fair game to betortured and or assasinated. salafi now means any muslims who beleives in islam.
    I think you know pretty well that that is not what I meant.
    "Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodes"

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    Re: Multiple wife's and salafism

    Quote Originally Posted by Muslimguycanada View Post
    Huh? treat them as prostitutes?! yes I deny that stupid claims! show me evidences please! otherwise, I find it the opposite! that salafis treat wives much better than others! and "bandit" marriages outside of salafis are much more!

    And there is another lie in your post, that salafis call everyone else "ahlul biddah" which is total nonsense.....but anyways so nice that you classified yourself as "Ahul biddah" so we know now why you claim that they call everyone "ahlul bida'ah", and as a ahlul bidda person (as you admitted), I don't believe your lies! and what you say is not a truth by default so that whoever doesn't believe it is insane as you claim! I don't believe you that salafis treat women as prostitutes, and I don't believe you that most of salafis marriages are bandits as you claim...Moreover I say you are a liar who is spreading slanders about salafis because you hate them because you are "Ahul bidda" like you classified yourself! and allover history mobtade'a were always fighting Ahl al sunnah! Now prove I'm wrong and show me an evidence or your lying will be proven to everyone!

    Othewise...I can say "Ahul bidda" like you treat their women as prostitutes and treat their women the worst ever without having an evidence like you, and that if you deny it I question your sanity...now prove you are right and I'm wrong! About fiqh of marriage....trust me...I'm sure your knowledge of fiqh of marriage is no more than my knowledge of mandarin!

    so funny those who accuse others didn't even read qura'an and know that they can't accuse others without bayena "evidence"

    Allah has said "O you who have believed, if there comes to you a disobedient one with information, investigate, lest you harm a people out of ignorance and become, over what you have done, regretful." Al-Hujurat 6.

    And..."O you who have believed, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be better than them; nor let women ridicule [other] women; perhaps they may be better than them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other by [offensive] nicknames. Wretched is the name of disobedience after [one's] faith. And whoever does not repent - then it is those who are the wrongdoers." Al-Hujurat 11.
    Out of curiosity, the 'salafis' you're familiar with...don't happen to be 'based' in the ME for the most part are they?

    If there's one thing I've learned during my stay on Ummah.com is that the 'Salafis' often discussed on this forum based predominately in western Eurpose and North America are practically a different breed entirely to ME Salafis and 'African' Salafis....

    None of the generalizations/supposed trends attributed to 'western-hemisphere-residing' Salafis can be applied to on vast majority of those in ME and Africa.

    It's OK, I was just as confused as you were at some point and that's the only conclusion I can come up with that makes sense.
    "The discovery of truth is prevented more effectively, not by the false appearance of things present and which mislead into error, not directly by weakness of the reasoning powers, but by preconceived notions, opinion, and by prejudice." - Arthur Schopenhauer

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    Re: Multiple wife's and salafism

    Quote Originally Posted by RashidD View Post
    I think you know pretty well that that is not what I meant.
    i wasnt referring you, i hadnt actually read your posts. i was referring to what is happening in the world now. the media picked up on this salafi word, and now it means in their reports any muslim who is properly following his deen, is according to them an " extremist/islamist /salafi "
    "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

    The Prophet said:

    "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

    muslim

    Narrated 'Abdullah:

    The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


    "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

    By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

    [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]


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    Re: Multiple wife's and salafism

    Quote Originally Posted by RashidD View Post
    Lol, that was an entire discussion on the topic. Anyway, it's pretty clear you've made up your mind on the issue and I'm also pretty sure people who have gone through this kinda thing know better.
    Exactly! an entire discussion of anonymous and random people on a forum! most of them just sympathize and randome ones just post up on a forum, is that an evidence to accuse people?! of course some salafis are bad, but who said it's "common"?! subhanallah, ok brother it seems you appreciate our jihadi brothers so much as it seems from your picture, want me to get you dozen of discussions and posts and even articles online whice distort jihadis by the worst things you have ever imagines?

    The whole methodology is slandering!

    Quote Originally Posted by mizfissy815 View Post
    Out of curiosity, the 'salafis' you're familiar with...don't happen to be 'based' in the ME for the most part are they?

    If there's one thing I've learned during my stay on Ummah.com is that the 'Salafis' often discussed on this forum based predominately in western Eurpose and North America are practically a different breed entirely to ME Salafis and 'African' Salafis....

    None of the generalizations/supposed trends attributed to 'western-hemisphere-residing' Salafis can be applied to on vast majority of those in ME and Africa.

    It's OK, I was just as confused as you were at some point and that's the only conclusion I can come up with that makes sense.
    No sister, I was talking about any salafi, because I'm Arab and lived in egypt for more than 18 years! and Also north american ones because that's where I live now! And I'm connected with many in UK, so i know what I'm talking about! and all salafis have same rules!

    Genaralization is wrong everywhere, and salafis have same bases everywhere! and the accusation without evidences is slandering everywhere!

    What I'm trying to make people understand is that there is no membership to a club called salafis! and there is no registration form to be salafi! salafi means following the salaf! Actually, and provided today's political stuff "especially in egypt" if a man grows his beard or if a woman wears a niqab he/she will be directly tamed as a salafi! even if he never heard of the term! So, who are the salafis? we can't even groups them accurately, so how can we generalize?! generalizing salafis means in most of the time generalizing "religious ones" because as i said there is no membership to a group called salafis so we know they are isolated group...no...in fact people call any religious person "Salafi"! and that's why i totally agree with the point of sister "*asiya*"

    A small note...I never called my self salafi till the revolution happened in egypt! because after the revolution that's the term people use to anyone who follow this path! who wants to follow religion strictly! before revolution in term which was mainly used is "moltazem" means "committed"...I think the relevance of the term is very clear!

    In summary...Islam taught us that you can never accuse a person or a group but with an evidence, what if the accusation is also illogical? (because it needs so much money as i mentioned previously to be able to afford marriage and divorce that frequently)...it's a very big slandering...salafis are not marriage bandits..they are good people who just happen to be the focus of distortion from everywhere! I'm sure 90% of people who call salafis as marriage bandits, never met a salafi marriage bandit, or may be he met one or two as a maximum..but that's how distortion become a fact....at first spread the slander, the first time people will not believe, second time will not, third time will start to think, and it just needs to see one bad example to fully believe the slander!

  32. #151
    Odan
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    Re: Multiple wife's and salafism

    I really think that all this talk about the relationship between multiple wives and salafism is all hyped up. It only takes a read of Ibn ul-Qayyim and Ibn Taymiyah's most famous works as well as a simple consultation of the Salafi fiqh manual Fiqh us-Sunnah to realise the true view on polygamy/monogamy by the 'salafis'.


    واٍلی هذا ذهب الامام أحمد ورجحه این تیمیة واین القیم وذهبوا کذ لک إٍلی أن الشرط عٍکن أن یکون لفظیا، وفی بعض الأحوال عٍکن أٌن یکون عرفیأ ، أٍذا جاءت الفتاهٔ من أّسرة یٌعرف عنها أٌنها لاتقبل أٌن یتزومج أٌن علیها زوجها


    This is the opinion of Imam Ahmed, founder of the Hanbali school and is further preferred by Ibn Taymiyyah and Ibn-Al-Qayyim. They also allowed the condition to be verbal (not necessarily written) or if it is the norm (urf) for the girl's family, i.e. if the girl's family is known to oppose having another wife next to their daughter. (Fiqh Al Sunnah, Volume 6, Page 231-232).

    The customarily stipulated condition is like the verbally ‎stipulated condition, i.e. it doesn’t have to be stated.‎ (5/98 of Zad al-Ma'ad)


    فَيُؤْخَذُ مِنْ هَذَا أَنَّ الْمَشْرُوطَ عُرْفًا كَالْمَشْرُوطِ لَفْظًا، وَأَنَّ عَدَمَهُ يُمَلِّكُ الْفَسْخَ لِمُشْتَرِطِهِ، فَلَوْ فُرِضَ مِنْ عَادَةِ قَوْمٍ أَنَّهُمْ لَا يُخْرِجُونَ نِسَاءَهُمْ مِنْ دِيَارِهِمْ وَلَا يُمَكِّنُونَ أَزْوَاجَهُمْ مِنْ ذَلِكَ الْبَتَّةَ وَاسْتَمَرَّتْ عَادَتُهُمْ بِذَلِكَ كَانَ كَالْمَشْرُوطِ لَفْظًا، وَهُوَ مُطَّرِدٌ عَلَى قَوَاعِدِ أَهْلِ الْمَدِينَةِ، وَقَوَاعِدِ أحمد رَحِمَهُ اللَّهُ أَنَّ الشَّرْطَ الْعُرْفِيَّ كَاللَّفْظِيِّ سَوَاءٌ، وَلِهَذَا أَوْجَبُوا الْأُجْرَةَ عَلَى مَنْ دَفَعَ ثَوْبَهُ إِلَى غَسَّالٍ أَوْ قَصَّارٍ، أَوْ عَجِينَهُ إِلَى خَبَّازٍ، أَوْ طَعَامَهُ إِلَى طَبَّاخٍ يَعْمَلُونَ بِالْأُجْرَةِ، أَوْ دَخَلَ الْحَمَّامَ أَوِ اسْتَخْدَمَ مَنْ يَغْسِلُهُ مِمَّنْ عَادَتُهُ يَغْسِلُ بِالْأُجْرَةِ وَنَحْوَ ذَلِكَ، وَلَمْ يَشْرُطْ لَهُمْ أُجْرَةَ أَنَّهُ يَلْزَمُهُ أُجْرَةُ الْمِثْلِ. وَعَلَى هَذَا، فَلَوْ فُرِضَ أَنَّ الْمَرْأَةَ مِنْ بَيْتٍ لَا يَتَزَوَّجُ الرَّجُلُ عَلَى نِسَائِهِمْ ضَرَّةً وَلَا يُمَكِّنُونَهُ مِنْ ذَلِكَ، وَعَادَتُهُمْ مُسْتَمِرَّةٌ بِذَلِكَ، كَانَ كَالْمَشْرُوطِ لَفْظًا.
    وَكَذَلِكَ لَوْ كَانَتْ مِمَّنْ يَعْلَمُ أَنَّهَا لَا تُمَكِّنُ إِدْخَالَ الضَّرَّةِ عَلَيْهَا عَادَةً لِشَرَفِهَا وَحَسَبِهَا وَجَلَالَتِهَا، كَانَ تَرْكُ التَّزَوُّجِ عَلَيْهَا كَالْمَشْرُوطِ لَفْظًا سَوَاءٌ.

    And it is taken from this (i.e understood) that that which is conditioned according to custom is like that which is conditioned according to words and that its absence is equal to making null (or abolishing) its stipulation, and it were assumed from the custom of a nation that they do not drive out their women from their homes and they do not place that decision in the hands of their wives and their customary habit adheres to this, then it is the same as that which has been stipulated by custom. And it is constant with the rules of Ahulul Madinah. And the rules of Ahmed that the customary condition is the same as the wordy condition (one which has been stipulated by words). And because of this they have made necessary the fee on he who hands over his clothes to laundryman or bleacher or (he hands over) his batter to a baker or (he hands over his) food to a cook who perform their duties in return for a price or he enters a bathroom or takes the help of he who washes it (the bathroom) whose habit is that he washes in return for a price and the like of that and he does not stipulate for them a price it is necessary for him to pay the adequate wage. And based on this if it is assumed that the woman of a house or it is assumed that a woman is from a house where the man does not marry another woman other than this woman and they have not given him the ability to do so and their habit continues in this respect, then it is like that which is stipulated as a condition. And likewise if she is one upon whom it is not possible for another woman to enter according to the rules of custom due to her high rank and high regard and her loftiness, then the leaving of the marrying over her (i.e marrying another woman) is like that which has been stipulated according to words. {Zad al Ma’ad, 5/108 Mu’assasatu al-Risalah edition}

    In other words they say that in a family which does not let their daughters' husbands marry other women, the husbands are obliged to be monogamous.
    Last edited by Repentant; 05-12-13 at 12:00 AM.
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