1. Behave like a female, i.e. all the tenderness of a femaleĖa man doesnít want a man for his wife!
2. Dress pleasantly/attractively. If you are a home-maker, donít stay in your sleeping suit all day.
3. Smell good!
4. Donít lay out all your problems on your husband as soon as he walks in. Give him a little mental break.
5. Donít keep asking him, ďwhat are you thinking?Ē
6. Stop nagging non-stop before Allah taíala gives you something really to complain about.
7. Absolutely no talking about your spousal problems to anyone you meet, not even under the pretense of seeking help! If you think you want to solve legitimate marital issues, then go seek counseling with the right person who can give advice in either:
1. Mediate any injustice done so any wrong can be corrected and the couple can reunite in harmony, or
2. Amicable divorce
8. Be kind to your mother-in-law the same way you would like your husband to be kind to your own mother.
9. Learn all the rights and obligations of each other in Islam. Focus on fulfilling your obligations, not demanding your rights
10. Race to the door when he comes home, as if you were waiting for him. Smile and hug him.
11. Keep your house clean, at least to the level that he wants it.
12. Compliment him on the things you know heís not so confident about (looks, intelligence, etc.) This will build his self-esteem.
13. Tell him heís the best husband ever.
14. Call his family often.
15. Give him a simple task to do at home and then thank him when he does it. This will encourage him to do more.
16. When heís talking about something boring, listen and nod your head. Even ask questions to make it seem like youíre interested.
17. Encourage him to do good deeds.
18. If heís in a bad mood, give him some space. Heíll get over it, inshaAllah.
19. Thank him sincerely for providing you with food and shelter. Itís a big deal.
20. If heís angry with you and starts yelling, let him yell it out while youíre quiet. You will see your fight will end a lot faster. Then when heís calm, you can tell him your side of the story and how you want him to change something.
21. When youíre mad at him, donít say ďYOU make me furiousĒ, rather, ďThis action makes me upsetĒ. Direct your anger to the action and circumstance rather than at him.
22. Remember that your husband has feelings, so take them into consideration.
23. Let him chill with his friends without guilt, especially if theyíre good guys. Encourage him to go out, so he doesnít feel ďcooped upĒ at home.
24. If your husband is annoyed over a little thing you do (and you can control it), then stop doing it. Really.
25. Learn how to tell him what you expect without him having to guess all the time. Learn to communicate your feelings.
26. Donít get mad over small things. Itís not worth it.
27. Make jokes. If youíre not naturally funny, go on the internet and read some jokes, and then tell them to him.
28. Tell him youíre the best wife ever and compliment yourself on certain things you know youíre good at.
29. Learn to make his favorite dish.
30. Donít ever, EVER talk bad about him with friends or family unnecessarily. If they end up agreeing with you, you will see that it hits you back in the face because you get more depressed that you have a bad husbandĖand other people also think you have a bad husband.
31. Use your time wisely and get things accomplished. If youíre a home-maker, take online classes and get active in your community. This will make you happy and a secondary bonus is that it impresses your husband.
32. Do all of the above fee sabeelillah and you will see Allah put barakah in everything you do.
33. Husband and wife should discuss and communicate with wisdom with each other to convey what they like and dislike of each other to do or not to do. Do NOT give commands or instructions like heís your servant. ďThey are garment to each otherĒ [Surah Baqarah, 2:187]
34. Tell your husband you love him, many, many times. Aisha (رضالله عنها) narrated that the Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم) used to ask her how strong her love for him, she said like ďa knot.Ē And the next time he would ask her, ďHow is that knot?Ē He also used to reply to her saying, ďJazzakillah, O Aishah, wallahi, you have not rejoiced in me as I have rejoiced in you.Ē
35. Have a race with your husband and let him win, even if you are much fitter and stronger than him.
36. Keep fit and take care of your health so you will remain a strong mother, wife, cook and housekeeper, inshaAllah you will not get FAT and frumpy.
37. Refine and cultivate good mannerisms i.e do not whine, donít laugh or talk too loud or walk like an elephant.
38. Do not leave the house without his permission and certainly not without his knowledge.
39. Make sure all his clothes are clean and pressed so he is always looking fresh and crisp.
40. Donít discuss important/controversial matters with him when he is tired or sleepy. Find right time for right discussion.
41. The way to a manís heart is through his stomach.
42. Always let him know that you appreciate him working and bringing home the ďdoughĒ. It makes it easier for him to go to work.
43. Make sure you ALWAYS have something for dinner.
44. Brush your hair, everyday.
45. Donít forget to do laundry.
46. Surprise him with gifts. Even necessities, such as new shoes, can be gifts.
47. Listen to him. (Even when he talks about extremely boring things like basketball or computers.)
48. Try (hard as it might be) to take interest in his hobbies.
49. Try not to go shopping too much Ö and spend all his money.
50. Look attractive and be seductive towards him. Flirt with him.
51. Learn tricks and ďtechniquesĒ to please your husband in intimacy. (Of course goes both ways.)
52. Prepare for special evenings with him with special dinner and exclusive time (no children permitted).
53. Take care of your skin, especially your face. The face is center of attraction.
54. If you not satisfied intimately, talk to him and tell him. Help him or provide resources, donít wait until matters become worse.
55. Ask Allah to strengthen and preserve the bonds of compassion and love between the two of you, every day, every prayer. Ask him to protect that bond from Shaytaan. When a lesser devil destroys the love between spouses, he is the most beloved of Shaytaan. Nothing works like duíah, and love only exists between spouses where Allah instills it.
56. Donít EVER compare your husbands to other husbands! For example donít say, ďwell her husband doesnít do that, why do you ÖĒ (thats a killer!)
57. Be happy with what you have because no one is perfect. If you want perfection, wait until you enter Jannah together inshaAllahĖand of course, vice versa!
58. Strive for Allahís love first and foremost! if all wives try to seek Allahís love and pleasure, surely, they can keep their husbands love too. And rememberĖif Allah loves you, the angels will love you, and the entire creation will love you.
59. If you pack a lunch for your husband to take to work, from time to time sneak in a little love note or sweet poem. If he doesnít take a lunch, leave the note somewhere else for him to find, like in his briefcase, or wallet or on the car steering-wheel
60. Wake him up for Qiyam ul-Layl (in the last third of the night) and ask him to pray with you.
May Allah preserve all of our marriages and help us understand and implement them in and with the best of manners, ameen! InshaAllah if you know more ways, post them in the comments and share the benefit.