Register

If this is your first visit, please click the Sign Up now button to begin the process of creating your account so you can begin posting on our forums! The Sign Up process will only take up about a minute of two of your time.

Note: All classes with the exception of the Mustalahul Hadeeth and the Tafseer Class will stop until after Eid Al-Adh'haa, and will resume on Monday 6th October 2014.

Listen Online:www.ummahradio.com
DOWNLOAD THE APP

 

Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 40 of 78
  1. #1
    New Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    2
    Rep Power
    0

    Men keep staring at my wife!

    Asalamu alaykum brothers & sisters

    Im a happily married muslim guy. Alhumdullilah Allah has blessed me with a beautiful wife. Unfortunately everytime were out together men will really stare at her and some will even approach her when I leave her alone for a few minutes. These men are so disgusting, why do they still do it when shes clearly got her husband next to her?

    We get the tube together to work and these animals will stare, go out of their way to help her even when its not needed. My blood boils with anger everyday, I usually stare back with, which works at times. Ive even barged a few and had a physical fight whilst abroad. Its not like my wife dresses or behaves provocatively, it upsets me when these guys leave her feeling uncomfortable. What makes me even angrier is that some muslim guys who have their wife next to them will stare as well. My wife wears the hijab with loose fitting clothes. Ive had a conversation with my wife about wearing the abaya but shes not willing to wear one, and I dont want to force her. What do I do!? This is making me very frustrated! Any tips on how to convince her to wear an abaya? Thank you

  2. #2
    ~ Allahu Akbar ~ dhak1yya's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    43,029
    Rep Power
    306

    Re: Men keep staring at my wife!

    Firstly keep trying to persuade your wife about her abaya. It's good that you're not forcing her mashaAllah, but have you spoken to her about how much it upsets you when men look at her? Most women are not comfortable with strange men eyeing them up, and not all women notice that this is happening, or they may notice it a bit not not the extent of it. If she is aware and doesn't like it, maybe she needs to think again about an abaya? Or maybe talk to her about what reservations she has about it, because it's really comfortable and convenient to wear, alhamdulillah. She may be worried about being too hot or tripping over the hem, well if it's a light fabric and cut to the right length this isn't an issue. It's really convenient because you can just wear whatever you want at home, then stick your abaya and headscarf on to go out. If she's wearing baggy clothes, then she'll be wearing the same baggy clothes indoors or she'll have to do a complete change of dress every time she wants to go out. IMO It's far more convenient to just stick an abaya on top. One of the Saudi button down abaya styles would be the most convenient. You can get a whole range of styles too, decoration on the sleeves or no decoration at all, etc. They are very elegant mashaAllah. Maybe a trip to an abaya shop (if you live in the middle east) or a link to an abaya website with a range of elegant designs might help

    but also talk to her about what the actual issue is with her and abaya, why she feels she doesn't like it, then you can work on that belief about it inshaAllah, or find a way to fix that particular issue etc.





  3. #3
    Quirky Ebony's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    33,905
    Rep Power
    181

    Re: Men keep staring at my wife!

    Some men are just like that sadly. Dont blame your wife for the attention - these dudes are just losers.
    You are not aware of the consequences that would result (if you were granted what you desire) because what you seek might be to your detriment. (O soul) be conscious that your Master is more aware about your well-being than you are.

    ~Ibn Al-Jawzee

  4. #4
    Make Dua For Syria Shahmiah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    395
    Rep Power
    18

    Re: Men keep staring at my wife!

    Try get her to wear the abaya and maybe a niqab.

  5. 25-03-12, 05:51 PM

    Reason
    not helpful

  6. 25-03-12, 07:00 PM

    Reason
    not helpful

  7. #5
    The Real Grand Mufti in_exile's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    7,742
    Rep Power
    119

    Re: Men keep staring at my wife!

    Walaikumassalam

    Force her to wear it or stay indoors. End of problem.
    FEAR ALLAH (SWT) AS HE DESERVES TO BE FEARED!!!
    OH Allah help your slaves in As Sham
    Donate to syria.
    *Sisters please do not rep or PM me as my wife will kill me so rep her instead*

  8. #6
    Aslamu alaikum cuezed's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    2,587
    Rep Power
    20

    Re: Men keep staring at my wife!

    Abaya and niqaab is the only solution to this problem nowadays.

    And those who are saying not to blame the wife for others staring at her; is like saying don't blame me for leaving my home open over night, when the others should not enter. This mindset it's unrealistic
    There is a clock on your forehead counting down to the time of your death. Only Allah knows how many seconds are left on it

  9. 25-03-12, 11:22 PM

    Reason
    not advice

  10. 25-03-12, 11:24 PM

    Reason
    not advice

  11. #7
    clearske
    Guests

    Re: Men keep staring at my wife!

    FYI: You can't change what sin people commit! It's not fard to wear an "abaya." The fard is to cover ones body not showing her shape/body parts. You can't justify people's evil upon your wife! Get over it. Perhaps stop staring at others so you do not notice. What is a woman going to do if women do not stop staring at her husband? That's right -- she has to learn to live with it because she can't do anything! Stop pinning on your WIFE.

  12. #8
    Odan abu saalehah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    2,663
    Rep Power
    94

    Re: Men keep staring at my wife!

    Quote Originally Posted by mo1234 View Post
    Asalamu alaykum brothers & sisters

    I’m a happily married muslim guy. Alhumdullilah Allah has blessed me with a beautiful wife. Unfortunately everytime we’re out together men will really stare at her and some will even approach her when I leave her alone for a few minutes. These men are so disgusting, why do they still do it when she’s clearly got her husband next to her?

    We get the tube together to work and these animals will stare, go out of their way to help her even when it’s not needed. My blood boils with anger everyday, I usually stare back with, which works at times. I’ve even barged a few and had a physical fight whilst abroad. Its not like my wife dresses or behaves provocatively, it upsets me when these guys leave her feeling uncomfortable. What makes me even angrier is that some muslim guys who have their wife next to them will stare as well. My wife wears the hijab with loose fitting clothes. I’ve had a conversation with my wife about wearing the abaya but she’s not willing to wear one, and I don’t want to force her. What do I do!? This is making me very frustrated! Any tips on how to convince her to wear an abaya? Thank you
    wa alaykumus salaam,

    lose fitting clothing is not the correct hijab, you are the amir of the household so do need to order her to wear abaya and quite possibly niqab as well to avoid fitnah and may Allaah swt reward you for showing protective jealously of your womenfolk which is part of our deen, ameen

  13. #9
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Gender
    Girl Unspecified
    Posts
    193
    Rep Power
    4

    Re: Men keep staring at my wife!

    Talk to her about her its making you feel, im sure she will take that on board. I know I would, if my husband was unhappy with this. I get this too sometimes, he notices it a lot more than I do, but I already have abaya on which is extremely comfortable ( to my surprise) and looks very elegant. Try to show her some styles, gulf style abayas, they are stunning.

  14. #10
    Odan
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    9,269
    Rep Power
    97

    Re: Men keep staring at my wife!

    if your wife is dressing appropriately, then she is not doing anything wrong, its those low life men who are. ignore it for now, if they ,ake advances to your wife give them a kick up the backside

  15. #11
    Glory Be To Him aadil77's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    5,558
    Rep Power
    74

    Re: Men keep staring at my wife!

    I reckon they will look even she has an abaya and niqaab on. Pervs will be pervs no matter what. But with niqaab you can be sure that no one has had the pleasure of even looking at her face.

    It must be crap to have to get into confrontations everyday, the only thing you can do bro is to fight your way through it, make dua' that Allah gives you the strength. People need sense knocked into them.

    He it is Who sends blessings on you, as do His angels, that He may bring you out from the depths of Darkness into Light: and He is Full of Mercy to the Believers. [Quran {33:43}]
    www.QuranicAudio.com
    www.Quran.com

  16. #12
    New Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    1,429
    Rep Power
    68

    Re: Men keep staring at my wife!

    asalaamu alaykum

    To everyone whose discouraging her from wearing the abaya or niqab, please remember that if a woman is attractive - then they can make it mandatory on her to wear niqab.


    To brother mo, teach her to love Islam so she wears the hijab and abaya more strictly. The anger you have to protect your wife and keep her to yourself is praised in Islam, so you should not let other men approach her, even if that means shouting at them. Train and become stronger so you can really respond to them if they make the wrong move. Since when is she theirs? She's yours. So you should be strict with your wife on this issue (through kindness and firmness), telling her that you love her and you don't want other men approaching her or staring at her. Just like she would not like it if you were doing the same to other women.

    Make her earn your Respect (through your strength and kindness and chivalry), and she will show Care to you through obeying you in what you say. All this should have the backbone of Islam.


    Here's a list of Prophetic sayings about the husband and wife;

    http://www.zawaj.com/rights-of-the-h...wife-in-islam/

  17. #13
    Senior Member neelu's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    8,009
    Rep Power
    201

    Re: Men keep staring at my wife!

    I agree with Ebony. First of all, whilst I follow the opinion that abaya/jilbab is fard, I don't think it will stop people from staring. If men are pervy enough to stare at a woman who has her head covered, wears loose clothes and is sitting with her husband then I doubt they'll avoid looking just because she covers more. Secondly, I don't know if you can impose jilbab on her- or if you should.

    Thirdly, are you in East London by any chance? I wear the scarf and jilbab and used the tube numerous times to travel to numerous locations, but it was specifically whilst travelling to East Ham that just sitting in that train became more and more nauseating as more dirty freshies stepped on board staring and perving and ugh! I've not noticed this problem when going to central or north London.

    Oh last but not least- I'm uneasy with suggestions that you discuss this with your wife, or I suppose I'm wondering what purpose it would serve to discuss it with her. You can't expect her to take any responsibility for this as it's not her fault and it'll only put obstacles within your own marriage if she begins to feel that you start resenting her for the way men look at her when she is not exactly provoking or encouraging anyone it makes her uncomfortable too.

    You wont like this suggestion but I'll mention it anyway. In my experience men stare even more at women who are more modest and shy and lower their gaze. I'm assuming if that's the way your wife is then that's how you want her to behave but generally speaking dirty pervy men misbehave even more towards women like that because such sisters are not confronting them. If you think the tube is bad, just try taking her to Faisalabad where staring is like an olympic sport (more popular than cricket) and the men would try to grope her as well. I learned years ago that the more I lowered my own gaze the more dirty ****my pervs kept staring so now I give them a couple of evil glances to drop a hint and if they are still staring I shout menacingly "what the **** are you staring at?" or words to that effect and that tends to make them stop. I'm not sure if that would work in East London though.

  18. #14
    Odan MG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    28,859
    Rep Power
    131

    Re: Men keep staring at my wife!

    If she is already wearing loose fitting clothes and a hijab, what difference is the abaya going to make? I don't think that will make a difference to this situation in my opinion.

    It is very strange that men are staring at her and offering to help, even when a man is with her, i have never heard this happen to anyone in my life, quite brave of them to attempt such a thing in front of you.

    Not much you can do if she is doing everything correctly from her side > loose clothing, hijab etc. Just do what neelu said, speak roughly and aggressively to the guy as soon as it happens.
    For The Non-Muslims:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlMBkJme8J4The ProphetSAW sed, "(There are2words which R dear 2 the most gracious (Allah SWT)&very easy4the tongue2say but very heavy in the balance.They are:Subhan Allahi Wa Bihamdihi - Subhan Allahil-Azim.Islam- Why Pay For The Disease,When The Cure Is Free

  19. #15
    mommys boy msmoorad's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    3,178
    Rep Power
    58

    Re: Men keep staring at my wife!

    Quote Originally Posted by mo1234 View Post
    Asalamu alaykum brothers & sisters

    I’m a happily married muslim guy. Alhumdullilah Allah has blessed me with a beautiful wife. Unfortunately everytime we’re out together men will really stare at her and some will even approach her when I leave her alone for a few minutes. These men are so disgusting, why do they still do it when she’s clearly got her husband next to her?

    We get the tube together to work and these animals will stare, go out of their way to help her even when it’s not needed. My blood boils with anger everyday, I usually stare back with, which works at times. I’ve even barged a few and had a physical fight whilst abroad. Its not like my wife dresses or behaves provocatively, it upsets me when these guys leave her feeling uncomfortable. What makes me even angrier is that some muslim guys who have their wife next to them will stare as well. My wife wears the hijab with loose fitting clothes. I’ve had a conversation with my wife about wearing the abaya but she’s not willing to wear one, and I don’t want to force her. What do I do!? This is making me very frustrated! Any tips on how to convince her to wear an abaya? Thank you
    salaams to all

    it works both ways
    muslim men have to lower their gaze & muslim women should not leave their homes unless absolutely necessary.
    when they do so, they should also lower their, dress & behave in way befitting a muslimah & not do anything to attract towards themselves.

    also. a muslim woman is obliged to obey her husband unless he is telling her to do something against the comands of Allah Ta'ala.
    in this case if you tell her that she MUST wear an abaaya & hijab, at the least-she has to obey you
    but this will still not stop men from staring at her, as her face is still uncovered & thats the first thing to attract attention-generally speaking.

    im assuming you dont with you wife-she works at some other place
    how do you know whats going on there?

    here, in your presence, guys are approaching her.
    what about when youre not around?
    there may be things that she is too embarassed or ashamed to tell you about?

    she should remain indoors or wear a niqaab & a loose, plain abaaya made from thick material when leaving home.

    and Allah ta'ala knows best
    jazakallah
    Sufyaan Thawri "Whoever is very popular with his relations and neighbours, we suspect him to be compromising in preaching the true teachings of religion."
    very good site for English bayaans in MP3 format-check it out- u wont be disappointed: http://www.musjidnoor.za.net/index.html & http://alhaadi.org.za/majlis-program...downloads.html

  20. #16
    New Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    2
    Rep Power
    0

    Re: Men keep staring at my wife!

    Salam,
    Thank you for your replies. I appreciate everyone’s views and they are right each in their own way. She did wear an abaya for a few weeks after we came back from umrah, however she felt that it didn’t work as a deterrent and she finds it restrictive at work where she has to run around the hospital. She works as a trainee obstetrician and gynae so she isn’t surrounded by men at work, and her job is needed by the community so it wont be right for me to stop her from working.

    I would like her to give the abaya another go and I could push her to wear one. She’s just worried that wont help either, and I can’t say much to that argument since it hasn’t worked in the past. She’s too polite and gentle all the time, which doesn’t help since she’s not the type that will get angry or even give a glare to anyone.

    Just to clarify, these perverts stare when I’m there. It’s only when I’m gone that they approach for example when I leave her to browse while I pay in a shop.

    Thanks for all the suggestions, I would appreciate any more helpful input.

  21. #17
    Odan
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    4,320
    Rep Power
    155

    Re: Men keep staring at my wife!

    A wife who truly loves and respects her husband also obeys him.

    Her beauty is for you only. Naturally, a husband would get angry if he saw others checking out his wife. She needs to understand that.

    She should wear a hijaab and a abayah. Its the only way to stop majority of these looks. Until then, this issue will not be resolved if she continues not to cover up properlty.

  22. #18
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    150
    Rep Power
    5

    Re: Men keep staring at my wife!

    Quote Originally Posted by neelu View Post

    You wont like this suggestion but I'll mention it anyway. In my experience men stare even more at women who are more modest and shy and lower their gaze. I'm assuming if that's the way your wife is then that's how you want her to behave but generally speaking dirty pervy men misbehave even more towards women like that because such sisters are not confronting them. If you think the tube is bad, just try taking her to Faisalabad where staring is like an olympic sport (more popular than cricket) and the men would try to grope her as well. I learned years ago that the more I lowered my own gaze the more dirty ****my pervs kept staring so now I give them a couple of evil glances to drop a hint and if they are still staring I shout menacingly "what the **** are you staring at?" or words to that effect and that tends to make them stop. I'm not sure if that would work in East London though.
    That men stare MORE when I woman tries to be more modest is very true so I would recommend caution if ever you think this is in some way your wifes doing. I know this from personal experience. especially in UK evryone will stare at a woman wearing niqaab - its SO different. I've heard none believers say they deliberately stare at modest women to try and get a reaction, or because they see she is different. It is more frustrating for the woman than you know! Is your wife wearing loads of make-up? Maybe this is the issue more than anything? Though, ultimately, as long as she isn't looking 'sexy' she can't be ashamed for being beautiful, even women will stare at her for that!

  23. #19
    Gone.
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Gender
    Girl Unspecified
    Posts
    909
    Rep Power
    83

    Re: Men keep staring at my wife!

    Quote Originally Posted by neelu View Post
    You wont like this suggestion but I'll mention it anyway. In my experience men stare even more at women who are more modest and shy and lower their gaze. I'm assuming if that's the way your wife is then that's how you want her to behave but generally speaking dirty pervy men misbehave even more towards women like that because such sisters are not confronting them. If you think the tube is bad, just try taking her to Faisalabad where staring is like an olympic sport (more popular than cricket) and the men would try to grope her as well. I learned years ago that the more I lowered my own gaze the more dirty ****my pervs kept staring so now I give them a couple of evil glances to drop a hint and if they are still staring I shout menacingly "what the **** are you staring at?" or words to that effect and that tends to make them stop. I'm not sure if that would work in East London though.
    It works very well for me too.

  24. #20
    ~ Allahu Akbar ~ dhak1yya's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    43,029
    Rep Power
    306

    Re: Men keep staring at my wife!

    Quote Originally Posted by mo1234 View Post
    Salam,
    Thank you for your replies. I appreciate everyone’s views and they are right each in their own way. She did wear an abaya for a few weeks after we came back from umrah, however she felt that it didn’t work as a deterrent and she finds it restrictive at work where she has to run around the hospital. She works as a trainee obstetrician and gynae so she isn’t surrounded by men at work, and her job is needed by the community so it wont be right for me to stop her from working.
    In Saudi doctors and nurses wear a medical uniform at work, i.e. not abaya but modest medical uniform where the top part goes to the knees, not the floor, for health and safety (i.e. cause they have to move around a lot like you said). Although bear in mind that Saudi hospitals are more segregated in other countries, but many women's departments have male doctors going in because there aren't enough female specialists. But if your wife wears suitably modest dress at work, but wears the abaya when out and about this wouldn't be an issue.





  25. #21
    Odan deenlover1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    1,529
    Rep Power
    45


    If the clothings has not helped then maybe u can ask ur wife to not to wear makeup during the journey to work and she can wear sone at work since it's mainly women there

    But I must mention Allah has blessed u with an amazing wife so make sure u appreciate her and don't blame he for it because she has made efforts
    May Allah increase the love between u both Ameen
    7 Heavens and The Arsh & Kursi Of Allah - by Sheikh Ahmed Ali [HD]

    Subhan'Allah wa bi-hamdihi
    Glorified is Allah with all praise due to Him

  26. #22
    learning
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Gender
    Girl Unspecified
    Posts
    451
    Rep Power
    24

    Re: Men keep staring at my wife!

    It's not just your wife who gets stared at. Most women in their lives experience this.

    Why is this getting you upset so bad though? Do you feel insecure? Trying to change your wife's lifestyle to appease other men, even though she is already Islamicy dressed may suffocate her.

    An Abayah makes no difference. You'l have to cover her face entirely. But do you really want to do this to your wife, just because you can't control your feelings?

    You can't change other men.

    You have to change yourself and deal with this issue maturely, without expecting your wife to change or expecting the world to change for you.
    Sister Jigsaw!

  27. #23
    336
    Guests

    Re: Men keep staring at my wife!

    Quote Originally Posted by aadil77 View Post
    I reckon they will look even she has an abaya and niqaab on. Pervs will be pervs no matter what. But with niqaab you can be sure that no one has had the pleasure of even looking at her face.

    It must be crap to have to get into confrontations everyday, the only thing you can do bro is to fight your way through it, make dua' that Allah gives you the strength. People need sense knocked into them.
    First of all you cant tell a woman she has to cover her face for your benefit. If she wants she can go the extra mile to do it and possibly get ajar. It is NOT commanded by our Prophet PBUH to cover ones face. A saheeh hadeeth proves that well.

  28. #24
    355
    Guests

    Re: Men keep staring at my wife!

    Quote Originally Posted by @nda View Post
    asalaamu alaykum

    To everyone whose discouraging her from wearing the abaya or niqab, please remember that if a woman is attractive - then they can make it mandatory on her to wear niqab.


    To brother mo, teach her to love Islam so she wears the hijab and abaya more strictly. The anger you have to protect your wife and keep her to yourself is praised in Islam, so you should not let other men approach her, even if that means shouting at them. Train and become stronger so you can really respond to them if they make the wrong move. Since when is she theirs? She's yours. So you should be strict with your wife on this issue (through kindness and firmness), telling her that you love her and you don't want other men approaching her or staring at her. Just like she would not like it if you were doing the same to other women.

    Make her earn your Respect (through your strength and kindness and chivalry), and she will show Care to you through obeying you in what you say. All this should have the backbone of Islam.


    Here's a list of Prophetic sayings about the husband and wife;

    http://www.zawaj.com/rights-of-the-h...wife-in-islam/
    "They make it fardh" Um who is THEY? Allah says the religion is COMPLETE and those who add things to the religion will be punished. Those who make halal haram (in the case where Prophet PBUH said women have to cover everything but hands and face) will also be punished. Get your facts straight please. Insecurities in Muslim men does not mean you can make your wife do something Allah swt has not asked. Who are you, or we to make things fard ? Are you more capable of understanding life more than Allah swt? Subhanalah.

  29. #25
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    736
    Rep Power
    15

    Re: Men keep staring at my wife!

    You should talk to her about your concerns and try to get her to wear a niqab. This is the best solution imo.
    Also i'm assuming she doesnt use makeup outdoors? If she does then she needs to stop using it.

  30. #26
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    410
    Rep Power
    7

    Re: Men keep staring at my wife!

    I wear scrubs at work and abaaya outside of work because of the nature of a hospital and my job I sometimes have like 10-15 minutes to get to the other side of the hospital like a mile away.


    Do not take these replies telling you to force your wife to wear abaaya seriously??? thats the end of one problem, but the beginning of another. Treating your wife like a daughter is a surefire way to ruin a marriage, continue being open with her and keeping lines of communication open. She's doing nothing wrong (even though you'd like her to do better), so you've no right to be upset with her. This is a difficult situation, may Allah make it easy for you both. Just don't let the actions of others be a reason of tension between you and your wife.

  31. #27
    overature
    Guests

    Re: Men keep staring at my wife!

    News flash! Niqab makes men stare more because they are curious as to whats underneath. Sure they cant see much and you're covered but that will NOT stop them from looking. Actually even women stare at niqabis because they are curious! Its human nature if you hide a large part and reveal a little part to stare.

  32. #28
    Gone.
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Gender
    Girl Unspecified
    Posts
    909
    Rep Power
    83

    Re: Men keep staring at my wife!

    Quote Originally Posted by overature View Post
    News flash! Niqab makes men stare more because they are curious as to whats underneath. Sure they cant see much and you're covered but that will NOT stop them from looking. Actually even women stare at niqabis because they are curious! Its human nature if you hide a large part and reveal a little part to stare.
    Is that your personal experience?

  33. #29
    overature
    Guests

    Re: Men keep staring at my wife!

    Quote Originally Posted by SeekingIhsan View Post
    Is that your personal experience?
    haha ..a comedian is it? Considering the fact that im a female with niqabi friends.

  34. #30
    Tekos
    Guests

    Re: Men keep staring at my wife!

    Quote Originally Posted by Haniya View Post
    I wear scrubs at work and abaaya outside of work because of the nature of a hospital and my job I sometimes have like 10-15 minutes to get to the other side of the hospital like a mile away.


    Do not take these replies telling you to force your wife to wear abaaya seriously??? thats the end of one problem, but the beginning of another. Treating your wife like a daughter is a surefire way to ruin a marriage, continue being open with her and keeping lines of communication open. She's doing nothing wrong (even though you'd like her to do better), so you've no right to be upset with her. This is a difficult situation, may Allah make it easy for you both. Just don't let the actions of others be a reason of tension between you and your wife.
    EXACTLY. The best advice given here yet. Your wife is not a slave or an object. Heck, you can't even force the religion on anyone. It should be their CHOICE. Forced hijab is a huge problem. It leads someone to hate the one who has forced it upon them and hate Islam.

    Communication is the key. Abaya will not change anything as I'm sure they are staring at her face. If they are staring at her body, then she must not be covering properly, which is haram. But still communicate with her kindly. If she is doing all of the above, there is nothing you should be saying to your wife as it is not her fault or her problem. Please do not try to force niqab upon her. It is not fard and those who say, "only beautiful people should wear it" are amusing. Who choses who is beautiful and who is NOT? Who has the haq to judge people upon that?! So childish and pathetic.

    Allah swt has made the religion complete. There is no single clear verse or hadith that commands a woman to wear a niqab. Prophet PBUH has not prohibited it, he has not encouraged nor made it obligatory.

  35. #31
    Gone.
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Gender
    Girl Unspecified
    Posts
    909
    Rep Power
    83

    Re: Men keep staring at my wife!

    Quote Originally Posted by overature View Post
    haha ..a comedian is it? Considering the fact that im a female with niqabi friends.
    No I asked you a simple question, considering that I wear niqab and have not experienced what you mentioned.

    If it is a case of two different experiences that contradict then fine, but if you were speaking without experience, it would make your slightly nonsensical.

  36. #32
    Gone.
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Gender
    Girl Unspecified
    Posts
    909
    Rep Power
    83

    Re: Men keep staring at my wife!

    Quote Originally Posted by Tekos View Post
    EXACTLY. The best advice given here yet. Your wife is not a slave or an object. Heck, you can't even force the religion on anyone. It should be their CHOICE. Forced hijab is a huge problem. It leads someone to hate the one who has forced it upon them and hate Islam.

    Communication is the key. Abaya will not change anything as I'm sure they are staring at her face. If they are staring at her body, then she must not be covering properly, which is haram. But still communicate with her kindly. If she is doing all of the above, there is nothing you should be saying to your wife as it is not her fault or her problem. Please do not try to force niqab upon her. It is not fard and those who say, "only beautiful people should wear it" are amusing. Who choses who is beautiful and who is NOT? Who has the haq to judge people upon that?! So childish and pathetic.

    Allah swt has made the religion complete. There is no single clear verse or hadith that commands a woman to wear a niqab. Prophet PBUH has not prohibited it, he has not encouraged nor made it obligatory.
    If something is forced upon you without any knowledge of why you should do it, the consequences of doing so or not, and the evidence for it, then yes you would hate it and I have done.

    But it didn't make me hate Islam, only what I perceived to be Islam.

  37. #33
    Odan
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Gender
    Boy Male
    Posts
    19,492
    Rep Power
    79

    Re: Men keep staring at my wife!

    Quote Originally Posted by neelu View Post


    You wont like this suggestion but I'll mention it anyway. In my experience men stare even more at women who are more modest and shy and lower their gaze. I'm assuming if that's the way your wife is then that's how you want her to behave but generally speaking dirty pervy men misbehave even more towards women like that because such sisters are not confronting them. If you think the tube is bad, just try taking her to Faisalabad where staring is like an olympic sport (more popular than cricket) and the men would try to grope her as well. I learned years ago that the more I lowered my own gaze the more dirty ****my pervs kept staring so now I give them a couple of evil glances to drop a hint and if they are still staring I shout menacingly "what the **** are you staring at?" or words to that effect and that tends to make them stop. I'm not sure if that would work in East London though.
    That's your personal experience , a bad one !

    otherwise, it's with stupid cloths who get approached in fsd/lhr etc.,
    Message for Takfiri Zombies & Spoiled Teenagers/Grown-ups
    "Be Polite & Get a Polite Response, Be Harsh & Get a Harsh Response"

  38. #34
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Gender
    Girl Unspecified
    Posts
    193
    Rep Power
    4

    Re: Men keep staring at my wife!

    Also maybe learn to drive and drive her to work? Or she could do it herself if she has a license, will make the situation a bit better without unwanted attention.

  39. #35
    Quirky Ebony's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    33,905
    Rep Power
    181

    Re: Men keep staring at my wife!

    Some men will stare because 1) they dont know staring is rude - this is true of some cultures were staring is the norm (even amongst women) or 2) because they are of loose character

    If a woman is covered, wears hijaab and minds her own business, she doesnt warrant any of the attention - she can still be stared at.

    Its hardly her fault she's a living breathing human.
    You are not aware of the consequences that would result (if you were granted what you desire) because what you seek might be to your detriment. (O soul) be conscious that your Master is more aware about your well-being than you are.

    ~Ibn Al-Jawzee

  40. #36
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    443
    Rep Power
    36

    Re: Men keep staring at my wife!

    you see why niqab was made fard, it doesn't matter if some today say its wajib, since MAJORITY of the ulema still say its fard, notice its MAJORITY who say FARD, then rest say WAJIB, and no-one says JUST "SUNNAH"....


    NIQAB became fard:
    Shaikh-ul-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah (Rahimahullah) relates:
    "Women used to room about without Cloaks (Jilbaabs) and men used to see their faces and hands, but when the verse stating 'O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks over themselves.' (Surah Al-Ahzaab,Verse #59)was reveled, then this was prohibited and women were ordered to wear the Jilbaab. Then Ibn Tayimiyyah goes on to say "The word Jilbaab means a sheet which Ibn Mas'ud (Radhiallaahu nhu) explained as a cloak covering the entire body including the head, face and hands. Therefore, it is not permissible for the women to reveal the face and hands in public. (Ibn Taymiyyah's book on fatwaas Page# 110 Vol # 2 also in the book Hijaab Page # 15)

    you see if she did wear niqab inshallah no man will take pleasure from her face.

  41. #37
    bows out Fairy's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    21,325
    Rep Power
    704

    Re: Men keep staring at my wife!

    WHY DOESNT SHE wear an abyah when she is onthe tube or you guys are out and about but at work take it off . That way both of you win

    PROBLEM SOLVED!!

    and yes its disgusting how men have staring problems

    The end!
    My ♥ only lets الله‎ in
    O Allah, forgive me, have mercy upon me, guide me, give me health and grant me sustenance.

  42. #38

    Account Disabled

    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Gender
    Girl Female
    Posts
    867
    Rep Power
    0

    Re: Men keep staring at my wife!

    Quote Originally Posted by overature View Post
    News flash! Niqab makes men stare more because they are curious as to whats underneath. Sure they cant see much and you're covered but that will NOT stop them from looking. Actually even women stare at niqabis because they are curious! Its human nature if you hide a large part and reveal a little part to stare.
    I agree.

  43. #39
    notfard
    Guests

    Re: Men keep staring at my wife!

    Quote Originally Posted by muslimah_rose View Post
    you see why niqab was made fard, it doesn't matter if some today say its wajib, since MAJORITY of the ulema still say its fard, notice its MAJORITY who say FARD, then rest say WAJIB, and no-one says JUST "SUNNAH"....


    NIQAB became fard:
    Shaikh-ul-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah (Rahimahullah) relates:
    "Women used to room about without Cloaks (Jilbaabs) and men used to see their faces and hands, but when the verse stating 'O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks over themselves.' (Surah Al-Ahzaab,Verse #59)was reveled, then this was prohibited and women were ordered to wear the Jilbaab. Then Ibn Tayimiyyah goes on to say "The word Jilbaab means a sheet which Ibn Mas'ud (Radhiallaahu nhu) explained as a cloak covering the entire body including the head, face and hands. Therefore, it is not permissible for the women to reveal the face and hands in public. (Ibn Taymiyyah's book on fatwaas Page# 110 Vol # 2 also in the book Hijaab Page # 15)

    you see if she did wear niqab inshallah no man will take pleasure from her face.
    *yawn* You take a scholars opinion over a saheeh hadith?
    "Ayesha (R) reported that Asmaa the daughter of Abu Bakr (R) came to the Messenger of Allah (S) while wearing thin clothing. He approached her and said: 'O Asmaa! When a girl reaches the menstrual age, it is not proper that anything should remain exposed except this and this. He pointed to the face and hands." (Abu Dawood)...


    and allah says, he brought the religion COMPLETE, easy to UNDERSTAND in the quran. Niqab is the MOST controversial topic. Had it been FARDH allah would HAVE BEEN CLEAR on it as he is with ZINA, ALCOHOL, MURDER ETC.

    NIQAB was NEVER clearly made obligatory nor probibited and never been recommened by the prophet himself or allah. Stop adding things to the religion and making it fard which allah has made HALAL.

  44. #40
    unbghghghghg
    Guests

    Exclamation Re: Men keep staring at my wife!

    When my sister goes to specific places where she already knows that men will stare, she puts on her niqaab. In other places she doesnt wear it.

    Maybe your wife could do that. Wear the niqaab in places where you know the men will stare because of her beauty.


Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may post new threads
  • You may post replies
  • You may post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
All times are GMT. The time now is 09:54 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.2
Copyright © 2014 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.
Super PM System provided by vBSuper_PM (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2014 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
vBulletin Skin By: PurevB.com

MPADC.com Islamic Web Hosting | Muslim Ad Network | Islamic Nasheeds | Islamic Mobile App Developement Android & iPhone
Omar Esa Nasheed Artist
| Omar Esa Nasheeds | Islamic Web Hosting : Muslim Designers : Nasheeds : Labbayk Nasheeds : silk route jilbab: Hijab: : Web Islamic Newsletter: Islamic Web Hosting

Hijabs Online | Hijabs | Hijab Shop | Hijab Shop | AlJazeera Live, MBC Live, Makkah Live : Treasure of The Scholars