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  1. #1
    Senior Member The White Rose's Avatar
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    My family abuses me

    I dont know what to do I just feel like dying. I wish I was dead but I wouldnt commit suicide because its haram so I ask Allah to take me away frm this world. My parents always shout at me really badly and I cnt take it anymore, my sister gives me lectures all the time and she brainwashes my brother (who was the only nice person in my family) into believing all these lies about me so he hit me. They all shout at me for no reason, because its all lies and their all against me. So I dont talk to them anymore and I just dont know what to do. Im always so depressed and sad because Im being shouted at 24/7 if its not my dad its my mum if its not her its one of the others. I just need some advice please.

  2. #2
    itsokay
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    Re: My family abuses me

    Quote Originally Posted by The White Rose View Post
    I dont know what to do I just feel like dying. I wish I was dead but I wouldnt commit suicide because its haram so I ask Allah to take me away frm this world. My parents always shout at me really badly and I cnt take it anymore, my sister gives me lectures all the time and she brainwashes my brother (who was the only nice person in my family) into believing all these lies about me so he hit me. They all shout at me for no reason, because its all lies and their all against me. So I dont talk to them anymore and I just dont know what to do. Im always so depressed and sad because Im being shouted at 24/7 if its not my dad its my mum if its not her its one of the others. I just need some advice please.
    Do you have any relatives with whom you could stay with?

    (if you're still in education then you could try to use the study excuse as a way to stay out during the week)

  3. #3
    میرے دل کا نور .mirror.'s Avatar
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    Re: My family abuses me



    Aren't you the sister who was looking to get married? I thought you said your brother is very sweet?

    Khair, why are they doing this? No normal family just abuse their daughter for no reason. There must be a reason for them to treat you like this.
    Where are your other family members? Any relatives that you can speak to? Even if it's on the phone, it's better than nothing.

    And, please, don't make Dua'as like asking Allah to take you away. Are you really that ready to go away from this world? Are you sure that whatever state you are in right now, you will get into Jannah? I don't think so. Please, take this trial as a test from Allah and have sabr. Instead of praying to Allah for death, ask Him to guide your family and relieve you of all your difficulties.

    May Allah bless your life with peace and happiness.
    Call onto Allah, such that you are certain that He, al-Mujib wal-Kareem, will answer your call before you even lower your hands.
    وَقَالَ رَبُّكُمُ ادْعُونِي أَسْتَجِبْ لَكُمْ

  4. #4
    Senior Member The White Rose's Avatar
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    Re: My family abuses me

    I dont talk to my extended family that much even if i did i wouldnt tell em things like this anyway I thought this was supposed to be anonymous. The reason I stated my brother is sweet on the public forum is because he is generally a nice person but he gets angry sometimes and takes it out on us. He hit me the other day because he was angry but no one knows. I wanted to say this anonymously but thats gone down the drain now. My sister brainwashes him and my mum and turns them against me. My dad just shouts at me everyday anyway.

    Well the reason is because they expect too much from me and they cant see any good in what I do even if im working like a slave for them all day. I have daily wird and they use that as an excuse to lecture me like for e,g, the fact that I read daily wird should make me a perfect person etc.

  5. #5
    میرے دل کا نور .mirror.'s Avatar
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    Re: My family abuses me



    You have to log out and then post in this section to be Anonymous, but khair, you're still anonymous as none of us know you.

    Why do they only do this to you, though? Are you the youngest in your siblings? You should try to get at least your brother on your side. Try to reason with him and try to show it to him that your family treats you so badly. He'll understand and be a support to you. Can you do that?

    Turn to Allah and ask Him to guide your parents and ease your situation.
    Call onto Allah, such that you are certain that He, al-Mujib wal-Kareem, will answer your call before you even lower your hands.
    وَقَالَ رَبُّكُمُ ادْعُونِي أَسْتَجِبْ لَكُمْ

  6. #6
    Senior Member The White Rose's Avatar
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    Re: My family abuses me

    My brother is at work all day and he comes home goes to sleep then he goes out or does whatever. He never sees most of the abuse I have to suffer, if he sees my dad shouting at me yes he would intervene but its very rare because he is never there. He doesnt know what goes on. The other day my dad wasnt even shouting at me well it wasnt that bad and he started telling my dad off so he stopped. With my sister he is closer to her than to me if I try to defend myself he will take her side and believe her rather than me. She lies about everything and makes me feel so small and because she is older than me its like I have more respect for her thats why it hurts so bad because she is my sister not like a parent its different. Its more like being stabbed. Im the youngest girl yes so Im the easy target and plus theres that thing whereby if one sees someone shouting at one person others are likely to treat you in the same way.

  7. #7
    میرے دل کا نور .mirror.'s Avatar
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    Re: My family abuses me

    Why haven't you spoke to your brother about this directly?

    Get him and your parents in one place and tell him exactly what has been going on. Stand up for yourself or else they'll keep trampling over you.

    I really hope they don't physically abuse you.
    Call onto Allah, such that you are certain that He, al-Mujib wal-Kareem, will answer your call before you even lower your hands.
    وَقَالَ رَبُّكُمُ ادْعُونِي أَسْتَجِبْ لَكُمْ

  8. #8
    Odan
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    Re: My family abuses me


    May Allah ease your difficulties.

    Have you tried asking your parents, why they always shout at you and treat you so badly? Don't argue or anything, just ask them - have you done something to displease them that they treat you in this way?
    Tell them how you're feeling and how their treatment of you makes you depressed....

  9. #9
    Senior Member The White Rose's Avatar
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    Re: My family abuses me

    Well I used to stand up for myself but they would say that I was argumentative etc. so I dont anymore I just keep quiet because I think it just makes it worse. They know how theyr treating me like people (outsiders) have even mentioned it like my sisters friends and she just denies it or would say that I deserve it. I dont mean to say that my sister is evil or anything MashAllah she is very pious and intelligent and she has been through a lot I guess she just takes it out on me but even before her trials she used to do the same so I dont know? With my dad its the same I would prefer not to say at the moment but just want to say that it really isnt my fault sometimes when he just looks at me he would just shout at me but lets say if it was my sisters in the same situation he would never get angry. I hope you can believe me.

    I was going to run away from home the other day because my sister shouted at me first and later dad abused me too and it was late at night about 3 am and I was just thinking of leaving all night and the next day I packed my bag and went. I rang a few places for shelter but none of them were answering so I went to some firends who said I could stay with them but they managed to knock some sense into me and plus the driver just came and parked outside my house and she wouldnt let me go anywhere and I couldnt as it was really late lol.

    Anyway dont want to bore you with all the details. JazakumAllah Kheyr for the duas and replies and I guess I just have to patient Allah will help me, I know it He always does.

  10. #10
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    Re: My family abuses me

    Assalam-uAlaikum,

    Its hard to give advice to someone if you dont know the full situation. Like, why are they yelling/abusing? What is it that you have done? Why do they not believe you? Why do they all gang up on you? Whats the motive? And why arent they picking on others?

    Im the youngest in my family. Ive been through ups and downs in my family aswell. But that doesnt mean you wanna kill yourself or want death upon yourself. Allah (swt) is there watching and reading your mind and he knows everything. You can simply smile at your siblings/parents and greet them with kind words. Maybe that'll change something. Or just stop doing whatever they might be accusing u of doing? If its true(even a slight bit). Idk...

    But bottom line is.... Look at the brighter picture! U have a family!! Some people out there dont even have one! The less unfortunate. Turn to the deen and all your problems will be solved inshaAllah.


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