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View Poll Results: What is preventing you from getting married?

Voters
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  • Sisters: Wali won't give permission

    42 10.02%
  • Sisters: No one asked

    85 20.29%
  • Sisters: Not finished education

    65 15.51%
  • Sisters: Children from previous marriage

    12 2.86%
  • Sisters: No pious Brothers

    67 15.99%
  • Brothers: No money

    148 35.32%
  • Brothers: Her Wali won't give permission

    24 5.73%
  • Brothers: Not finished education

    77 18.38%
  • Brothers: Children from previous marriage

    15 3.58%
  • Brothers: No pious Sisters

    89 21.24%
Multiple Choice Poll.
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  1. #1
    Odan Juvegirl's Avatar
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    Why can't people get married?

    As salaamualeikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu,

    Hello Muslim peeps!

    I keep hearing about women who can't get married and men who can't get married and I keep thinking - why not? What is preventing people from getting married?

    Comments! Suggestions!

  2. #1521

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    Why can't people get married?

    no job

  3. #1522

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    Why can't people get married?

    @alealactaest

    How will you know that someone is better?.... unless you go out of your way and mix with him and learn excess stuff about him..

  4. #1523
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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    Quote Originally Posted by Faith reloaded View Post
    @alealactaest

    How will you know that someone is better?.... unless you go out of your way and mix with him and learn excess stuff about him..
    Yes, I didn't phrase that properly. Thank you. I meant, if you realise that you could have found a better match.

  5. #1524
    Odan
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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    Quote Originally Posted by AleaIactaEst View Post
    Commitment phobe. What if you wed, and then something better comes along? Or you realise that married life isn't for you? I need to be firmly convinced of my choice. I don't do things half-way.
    You won't be looking once you are married.

  6. #1525
    Odan muzzybee's Avatar
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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    Quote Originally Posted by Winter View Post


    I have a lot of family in UK (I'm from Canada), so I've spoken to about 3 girls families there (through family) and each response was girl doesn't want to leave the UK.
    Did they first exchange details ?

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    **** Smiling won't cost you now is it ****

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  7. #1526
    Odan muzzybee's Avatar
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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    Quote Originally Posted by AleaIactaEst View Post
    Commitment phobe. What if you wed, and then something better comes along? Or you realise that married life isn't for you? I need to be firmly convinced of my choice. I don't do things half-way.
    Interesting generation we live in

    Youtube channel - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYk...dE4pHzSid7Lr0w

    **** Smiling won't cost you now is it ****

    Zawjati ,“Uhibbuki mithla mâ antę” “Uhibbuki kaifamâ kunteee”“Wa mahmâ kâna mahma sâra”

  8. #1527
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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    I think the biggest thing that helps people get married is who you know. I know some people who are not very religious, don't have any money or a good job, don't have very high education, don't come from the best families and still get married because they know everyone around them and someone is willing to let them marry their kids because they are friends.

  9. #1528
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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    Quote Originally Posted by Juvegirl View Post
    As salaamualeikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu,

    Hello Muslim peeps!

    I keep hearing about women who can't get married and men who can't get married and I keep thinking - why not? What is preventing people from getting married?

    Comments! Suggestions!
    AsSalaamu Alaikum.

    Personally and more recently I have realised that what has made it difficult for me is that I did not know what I am what I am offering in a marriage and who would be compatible with me.

    Coming from a welfare background, I'm very used to living a simple life and I very much like living that way. But having a middle class job (Alhamdulillah), people either assume you're from a lineage of education, established family etc. Being in those circles and having people approach me about marriage, it has come with a lot of expectation that I am similar to them. Coming from poverty, I know that I am not like them and I don't ever want to be. I like to live simply, be around the poor who value character and give without taking. Therefore I cannot fulfil the expectations of a wife who wants a higher class of living because I never want to live that lifestyle. But I have also been unrealistic in my expectations and approach and very often out of my depths e.g. looking outside of my locality and ethnicity. These do work for people and may still for me but it really does take a lot of will power from both sides and no one can be halfhearted there.

    So I've come to the conclusion, be more realistic in my approach. Keep laying my foundation, look closer to home, let go of the 'ideal spouse' image I had in my head (its hard enough finding someone who's attractive on the inside, let alone the outside!), and most importantly I realised I'm a simple man so I need to marry a simple woman.

    So it is a journey and I think I've come closer to the realistic criteria of a compatible spouse (for me), Alhamdulillah. Hope this is helpful.

  10. #1529
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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    Quote Originally Posted by muzzybee View Post
    Interesting generation we live in
    To be honest, I think that's just me.

  11. #1530
    Odan muzzybee's Avatar
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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    Quote Originally Posted by AleaIactaEst View Post
    To be honest, I think that's just me.
    Ok

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    Zawjati ,“Uhibbuki mithla mâ antę” “Uhibbuki kaifamâ kunteee”“Wa mahmâ kâna mahma sâra”

  12. #1531
    --- Simply_Logical's Avatar
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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    Quote Originally Posted by muzzybee View Post
    Ok
    ok muzzy ok lol
    Surah Taha, Verse 69:

    وَأَلْقِ مَا فِي يَمِينِكَ تَلْقَفْ مَا صَنَعُوا إِنَّمَا صَنَعُوا كَيْدُ سَاحِرٍ وَلَا يُفْلِحُ السَّاحِرُ حَيْثُ أَتَىٰ

    "And throw that which is in your right hand! It will swallow up that which they have made. That which they have made is only a magician's trick,
    and the magician will never be successful, no matter whatever amount (of skill) he may attain."

    Self Help Ruqya Shari'ah Guide
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  13. #1532
    Odan
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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    Quote Originally Posted by muzzybee View Post
    Did they first exchange details ?


    A little late, but what do you mean by exchange detail?

  14. #1533
    061116 Rifqah's Avatar
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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    ...
    Last edited by Rifqah; 27-10-17 at 08:48 PM.

  15. #1534
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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    Peeps aren't really clear what they want from other person, or who they are...Growing pains
    Marriage is life long journey, which isn't picnic in the park. It is path which two of you share sunshine and rainy days, looking shelter within each other against this cold dunyah. Sometimes we don't get what we want, but Allah SWT gives you one you need. Alhamdulillah.

  16. #1535
    ایک بار پکار کے تو دیکھو .mirror.'s Avatar
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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    Tick tock
    Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

    "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
    - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

  17. #1536
    Odan muzzybee's Avatar
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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    Quote Originally Posted by Simply_Logical View Post
    ok muzzy ok lol
    Ok simply_ok ok
    Quote Originally Posted by Winter View Post


    A little late, but what do you mean by exchange detail?

    Nah bro just saying if they rejected you knowing that you are in a different country but asking details after ,then using distance as an excuse then thats not the issue is it.

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  18. #1537
    Senior Member Juwairiyyah's Avatar
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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    I wonder how many of these people have gotten married by now.

  19. #1538
    Odan
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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    Quote Originally Posted by muzzybee View Post
    Ok simply_ok ok



    Nah bro just saying if they rejected you knowing that you are in a different country but asking details after ,then using distance as an excuse then thats not the issue is it.
    Oh, no they never asked detail lol that's the thing. The only one girl asked if I would move there lol

  20. #1539
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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    Definitely a money issue for me, I could have got married at least a year ago if it wasn't for money problems. Doesn't matter.

  21. #1540
    Odan ZeeshanParvez's Avatar
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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    Parents on both sides have sky rocket expectations.

    Muslims have become materialistic.

    They want security. We need security that our daughter will be fine with you. Financial security.

    Many times the girl is on it too.

    Money. Money. Money.

    The saying is true: Zinaa is cheap and marriage is expensive.

    Materialistic people looking for security need to concentrate on the best example for mankind, the Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam)


    Ibn 'Abbas said:

    " The Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) would spend many consecutive nights and his family did not have supper, and most of the time their bread was barley bread."

    [Jaami al-Tirmidhi Hadith No. 2360]



    There is no security for anyone. Anyone who thinks security exists is deluded. They are misguided.


    Indeed, Allah [alone] has knowledge of the Hour and sends down the rain and knows what is in the wombs. And no soul perceives what it will earn tomorrow, and no soul perceives in what land it will die. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted.

    [Qur'aan 31:34]

  22. #1541
    1of the volatile beings myeverything's Avatar
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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    It's not always about money or job ..etc ( materialistic stuff)


    If I wanna talk about the spouces themselves i.e character. I would say: It's lack of good spouses

    majority of ppl ( men& women) overlook many bad/ not ok with qualities in potentials to get married ..
    How merciful Allah on me by giving me respite,and I persist in my sins and Allah shields me

  23. #1542
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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    Quote Originally Posted by Juvegirl View Post
    As salaamualeikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu,

    Hello Muslim peeps!

    I keep hearing about women who can't get married and men who can't get married and I keep thinking - why not? What is preventing people from getting married?

    Comments! Suggestions!
    Because I'm poor, lazy and unmotivated.

 

 

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