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View Poll Results: What is preventing you from getting married?

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  • Sisters: Wali won't give permission

    43 10.19%
  • Sisters: No one asked

    85 20.14%
  • Sisters: Not finished education

    66 15.64%
  • Sisters: Children from previous marriage

    12 2.84%
  • Sisters: No pious Brothers

    69 16.35%
  • Brothers: No money

    149 35.31%
  • Brothers: Her Wali won't give permission

    25 5.92%
  • Brothers: Not finished education

    77 18.25%
  • Brothers: Children from previous marriage

    15 3.55%
  • Brothers: No pious Sisters

    89 21.09%
Multiple Choice Poll.
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  1. #1
    Odan Juvegirl's Avatar
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    Why can't people get married?

    As salaamualeikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu,

    Hello Muslim peeps!

    I keep hearing about women who can't get married and men who can't get married and I keep thinking - why not? What is preventing people from getting married?

    Comments! Suggestions!

  2. #2
    ایک بار پکار کے تو دیکھو .mirror.'s Avatar
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    Re: Why can't people get married?



    Still in school.
    No stable job/income.
    Parents not allowing.
    No able to find a compatible match.
    Don't want to marry right now.

    Not my issues. Just generally.
    Last edited by .mirror.; 28-11-11 at 07:46 PM.
    Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

    "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
    - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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    Re: Why can't people get married?



    No-one's floating my boat atm. Insha'Allah, one day, I shall find a Muslim brother who'll sweep me off my feet

  4. #4
    weird
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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    and cvs

  5. #5
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    Re: Why can't people get married?



    for me its that im looking for a sister with certain qualities in them, and they are hard to find. money isint an issue so much anymore alhamdulilah, otherwise why would i go looking.
    Last edited by uncle umar; 28-11-11 at 07:38 PM.
    And the (faithful) slaves of the Most Gracious (All‚h) are those who walk on the earth in humility and sedateness, and when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with mild words of gentleness. (25:63)

    O You who believe! Shall I guide you to a trade that will save you from a painful torment? (10) That you believe in All‚h and His Messenger (Muhammad SAW),and that you strive hard and fight in the Cause of All‚h with your wealth and your lives, that will be better for you, if you but know! (11) (If you do so) He will forgive you your sins, and admit you into Gardens under which rivers flow, and pleasant dwellings in Adn (Edn) Paradise; that is indeed the great success. (12)

    JazakAllah khair for the duas but i would prefer duas for shahadah instead.

    sponsor an orphan

  6. #6
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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    i voted for everything
    And the (faithful) slaves of the Most Gracious (All‚h) are those who walk on the earth in humility and sedateness, and when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with mild words of gentleness. (25:63)

    O You who believe! Shall I guide you to a trade that will save you from a painful torment? (10) That you believe in All‚h and His Messenger (Muhammad SAW),and that you strive hard and fight in the Cause of All‚h with your wealth and your lives, that will be better for you, if you but know! (11) (If you do so) He will forgive you your sins, and admit you into Gardens under which rivers flow, and pleasant dwellings in Adn (Edn) Paradise; that is indeed the great success. (12)

    JazakAllah khair for the duas but i would prefer duas for shahadah instead.

    sponsor an orphan

  7. #7
    Odan Juvegirl's Avatar
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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    Quote Originally Posted by uncle umar View Post
    i voted for everything
    Hopefully just in the brother's questions

  8. #8
    weird
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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    why did u have 2 mess the poll up

  9. #9
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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    Marriage isn't something I'm too worried about. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't. Therefore, I don't need to stress over it or worry about when the next person will come along. Just use your single time to gain as much ilm as you can and get closer to Allah.

    As for why people are not getting married? I'd say it's because some are picky, some can't find people who are religious, some don't care, and some have bad experience.
    مَّن ذَا الَّذِي يُقْرِضُ اللّهَ قَرْضًا حَسَنًا فَيُضَاعِفَهُ لَهُ أَضْعَافًا كَثِيرَةً وَاللّهُ يَقْبِضُ وَيَبْسُطُ وَإِلَيْهِ تُرْجَعُونَ

    "Who is he that will loan to Allah a beautiful loan, which Allah will double unto his credit and multiply many times?
    It is Allah that giveth (you) Want or plenty, and to Him shall be your return."
    Surah al-Baqarah
    [2:245]

    .:.
    .:. Perfer et Obdura : Dolor Hic Tibi Proderit Olim .:.
    Be patient and strong : someday this pain will be useful to you

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    ...said the spider to the fly...

  10. #10
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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    edit
    Last edited by anonymous_mehip; 17-02-12 at 03:53 AM. Reason: err people change

  11. #11
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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    Im happy being single, dont want to get married. If its decreed for me, it'll happen nonetheless, but if not then i ain't trippin.
    Last edited by MoMo.; 28-11-11 at 07:49 PM.

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    Odan Juvegirl's Avatar
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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    Quote Originally Posted by anonymous_mehip View Post
    wa aleykom salam wa rahmatoullah wa barakatu
    Because my mom doesnt want me to until i'm done with my studies or if i get a job.. and also no one asked.. and I want a "white" revert... don't freak out lol before i started practicing Islam i was attracted to white guys so i don't know why all of a sudden i should marry someone from another background ..of course a pious man but if he can be what i'm attracted to, then great ..yeah maybe i'm picky
    so ..
    lol, I have a friend from Sri Lanka who wanted to marry a white revert. She did too and they are very happy mashallah. Just don't let a superficial preference stop you from marrying a good, pious man, inshallah, if the day should come.

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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    Qadar, and living in remote villages.

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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    No pious Brothers!!

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    Re: Why can't people get married?



    I think being too picky is a big reason why a lot of people aren't married. Not that it's a bad thing necessarily, but year after year and no marriage, then it gets to a bad point. I've been picky myself and held out for quite some time, but I feel I've found the right person. Yay!

  16. #16
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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    im not being that picky. im just looking for one quality.

    just one. but nobody really has it.
    And the (faithful) slaves of the Most Gracious (All‚h) are those who walk on the earth in humility and sedateness, and when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with mild words of gentleness. (25:63)

    O You who believe! Shall I guide you to a trade that will save you from a painful torment? (10) That you believe in All‚h and His Messenger (Muhammad SAW),and that you strive hard and fight in the Cause of All‚h with your wealth and your lives, that will be better for you, if you but know! (11) (If you do so) He will forgive you your sins, and admit you into Gardens under which rivers flow, and pleasant dwellings in Adn (Edn) Paradise; that is indeed the great success. (12)

    JazakAllah khair for the duas but i would prefer duas for shahadah instead.

    sponsor an orphan

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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    Quote Originally Posted by Juvegirl View Post
    Hopefully just in the brother's questions
    nope. everything :P
    And the (faithful) slaves of the Most Gracious (All‚h) are those who walk on the earth in humility and sedateness, and when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with mild words of gentleness. (25:63)

    O You who believe! Shall I guide you to a trade that will save you from a painful torment? (10) That you believe in All‚h and His Messenger (Muhammad SAW),and that you strive hard and fight in the Cause of All‚h with your wealth and your lives, that will be better for you, if you but know! (11) (If you do so) He will forgive you your sins, and admit you into Gardens under which rivers flow, and pleasant dwellings in Adn (Edn) Paradise; that is indeed the great success. (12)

    JazakAllah khair for the duas but i would prefer duas for shahadah instead.

    sponsor an orphan

  18. #18
    الحمد لله‎ .Hajar.'s Avatar
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    Re: Why can't people get married?




    Quote Originally Posted by Juvegirl View Post
    As salaamualeikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu,

    Hello Muslim peeps!

    I keep hearing about women who can't get married and men who can't get married and I keep thinking - why not? What is preventing people from getting married?

    Comments! Suggestions!
    some do really want to get married but nothing works out for them, so it's simply qadr and that option is missing from the poll =)



  19. #19
    لا اله الا الله Rouz's Avatar
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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    From speaking with sisters i know the problem for them is families living in remote areas with no connections to communities or contacts, hence not being able to meet people.
    Patience...

  20. #20
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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    my culture ,,in Somali culture we dont have the arrange marrige thing ,,i wish we have it ,, yeah so every somali girl that i know have to go dating and wedding to be seen. and if u do u cant find a religious brother at wedding nor he will be fine with dating ,, arrrrrrrgh.

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    ایک بار پکار کے تو دیکھو .mirror.'s Avatar
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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    No pious brothers on the lead?
    Really?

    Why's it that so many pious brothers are also looking for a long time, then?
    Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

    "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
    - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

  22. #22
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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    Waikum Assalam,

    My parents won't let me marry a revert.

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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    Welll I think dating should be acceptable in islam.... because how can you marry someone without going out with them? You need to spend timw with them and live with someone so that you know you can trust them and they don't turn out to be something else.... is there such thing as halal dating??

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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    Quote Originally Posted by Juvegirl View Post
    lol, I have a friend from Sri Lanka who wanted to marry a white revert. She did too and they are very happy mashallah. Just don't let a superficial preference stop you from marrying a good, pious man, inshallah, if the day should come.
    yes In sha Allah

  25. #25
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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    Quote Originally Posted by Afghani786 View Post
    Welll I think dating should be acceptable in islam.... because how can you marry someone without going out with them? You need to spend timw with them and live with someone so that you know you can trust them and they don't turn out to be something else.... is there such thing as halal dating??
    Nope

  26. #26
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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    Quote Originally Posted by uncle umar View Post
    im not being that picky. im just looking for one quality.

    just one. but nobody really has it.
    what's that quality?

  27. #27
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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    Quote Originally Posted by Afghani786 View Post
    Welll I think dating should be acceptable in islam.... because how can you marry someone without going out with them? You need to spend timw with them and live with someone so that you know you can trust them and they don't turn out to be something else.... is there such thing as halal dating??

    sister there is no such thing as halal dating.

    trsut me doing it like how the kaafirs do it is not going to solve anything. the islamic way is better because you do all the talk before marriage with a wali, which keeps emotions out of it. emotions blind people sister and often times people will get into a relation with somone they know is a bad person but because they "love" them they go forward with it anyways. eventually they have an ugly break up and it causes alot of trouble.
    And the (faithful) slaves of the Most Gracious (All‚h) are those who walk on the earth in humility and sedateness, and when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with mild words of gentleness. (25:63)

    O You who believe! Shall I guide you to a trade that will save you from a painful torment? (10) That you believe in All‚h and His Messenger (Muhammad SAW),and that you strive hard and fight in the Cause of All‚h with your wealth and your lives, that will be better for you, if you but know! (11) (If you do so) He will forgive you your sins, and admit you into Gardens under which rivers flow, and pleasant dwellings in Adn (Edn) Paradise; that is indeed the great success. (12)

    JazakAllah khair for the duas but i would prefer duas for shahadah instead.

    sponsor an orphan

  28. #28
    ایک بار پکار کے تو دیکھو .mirror.'s Avatar
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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    Quote Originally Posted by SummerIntheCity View Post
    Waikum Assalam,

    My parents won't let me marry a revert.
    Then, look for someone who is not a revert. Any quality that a revert has can be found in a born-Muslim. There are many born-Muslims who don't give in to cultural nonsense, and many revert who still hold on to their cultures after coming to Islam.

    Quote Originally Posted by Afghani786 View Post
    Welll I think dating should be acceptable in islam.... because how can you marry someone without going out with them? You need to spend timw with them and live with someone so that you know you can trust them and they don't turn out to be something else.... is there such thing as halal dating??
    No, you don't need to spend time with them like that.

    People date for years and get married, and then few years later end up divorcing. So, it's not really something that will tell you anything for certain. Most importantly, it's against Islam.

    You can talk to a potential spouse all you want as long as you both are not alone. Just by talking you'll know enough to be able to know whether he's compatible with you or not. That's how Muslims do it and many have succesful marriages.

    Lastly, place your trust in Allah.
    Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

    "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
    - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    You have to have a 3rd person present #Akward LOL!

    Yeahhh true true ... Allah is all knowing!!... there are reasons why we arent allowed to do certain things!

  30. #30
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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    Quote Originally Posted by .mirror. View Post
    No pious brothers on the lead?
    Really?

    Why's it that so many pious brothers are also looking for a long time, then?
    yeah man believe or not there is shortage of pious brothers in uk..lol

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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    I haven't met many born-Muslims who don't give in the cultural rubbish.

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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    asslamo 3alikomwar7mat allaho wbarakato

    i vote for No able to find a compatible match.:

    at least for me

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    ایک بار پکار کے تو دیکھو .mirror.'s Avatar
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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    Quote Originally Posted by Afghani786 View Post
    You have to have a 3rd person present #Akward LOL!

    Yeahhh true true ... Allah is all knowing!!... there are reasons why we arent allowed to do certain things!
    Quote Originally Posted by innocent_girl View Post
    yeah man believe or not there is shortage of pious brothers in uk..lol
    I find this hard to believe.
    I think the main problem is matching people up. They are both, bros and sis, looking to get married, but not enough proper halal method for them to connect.

    If I ever get a chance I might start doing this in the future. Getting our bros and sis married off and making it easier to find them spouses.
    Imagine the rewards!
    Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

    "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
    - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    Quote Originally Posted by Afghani786 View Post
    You have to have a 3rd person present #Akward LOL!

    Yeahhh true true ... Allah is all knowing!!... there are reasons why we arent allowed to do certain things!
    No, it's not awkward. It prevents both parties from crossing their limits.

    Quote Originally Posted by SummerIntheCity View Post
    I haven't met many born-Muslims who don't give in the cultural rubbish.
    There are.

    You shouldn't just look for reverts. If you do that, then you might miss a good, pious, brother who's a born Muslim.

    Also, culture is not 100% bad. As long as people don't cross the minits, then culture is OK.

    Like some people wear shalwar kameez, some wear trousers, etc. These don't add or take away from the deen. But, it's still culture.
    Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

    "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
    - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    I want to get married but the reasons I'm not married yet is not enough money and I havent told my parents yet.
    My parents are so stereotypical, if I told them I want to get married, they would say I don't look after myself etc.

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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    [QUOTE=innocent_girl;4486800]my culture ,,in Somali culture we dont have the arrange marrige thing ,,i wish we have it ,, yeah so every somali girl that i know have to go dating and wedding to be seen. and if u do u cant find a religious brother at wedding nor he will be fine with dating ,, arrrrrrrgh.[/QUOTE
    I agree with you sis. I am 24 and I want to get married really quickly. Wish I can find the pious brother!
    But internet parents have a stigma and it scares me. Please find me one.

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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    MAJORLY akward ll, but valid point!
    Does it have to be a male present as the 3rd person?

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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    Quote Originally Posted by Naveed-7 View Post
    I want to get married but the reasons I'm not married yet is not enough money and I havent told my parents yet.
    My parents are so stereotypical, if I told them I want to get married, they would say I don't look after myself etc.
    You dont needs loads of money to get married, im sure U can just get married without the excessive expenditures

  39. #39
    شهيد إن شاء الله
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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    Quote Originally Posted by Afghani786 View Post
    MAJORLY akward ll, but valid point!
    Does it have to be a male present as the 3rd person?
    it has to be ur wali
    And the (faithful) slaves of the Most Gracious (All‚h) are those who walk on the earth in humility and sedateness, and when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with mild words of gentleness. (25:63)

    O You who believe! Shall I guide you to a trade that will save you from a painful torment? (10) That you believe in All‚h and His Messenger (Muhammad SAW),and that you strive hard and fight in the Cause of All‚h with your wealth and your lives, that will be better for you, if you but know! (11) (If you do so) He will forgive you your sins, and admit you into Gardens under which rivers flow, and pleasant dwellings in Adn (Edn) Paradise; that is indeed the great success. (12)

    JazakAllah khair for the duas but i would prefer duas for shahadah instead.

    sponsor an orphan

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    ایک بار پکار کے تو دیکھو .mirror.'s Avatar
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    Re: Why can't people get married?

    Quote Originally Posted by Afghani786 View Post
    MAJORLY akward ll, but valid point!
    Does it have to be a male present as the 3rd person?
    It has to be a mahram. And, they don't necessarily has t osit right next to you.
    Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

    "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
    - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

 

 

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