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  1. #1
    Senior Member DarkChocolate's Avatar
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    May 2010
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    Being Disowned by family and Parents.

    Has anyone ever been disowned by either/both their family/Parents?
    Its something so difficult to deal with because your parents are like a gateway to jannah.

    I know that most of you would probably say its the childs fault because they are really bad or something. But thats not always the case.
    Sometimes its because of trivial matters or simple misunderstandings, marrying a person from a different racial background because you're both compatable.

    If a parent disowns their child, what can the child do to make things better? Directly and Indirectly if the child cannot communicate with their parents.

    And will Allah forgive the child of disowned parents if the child is trying to make circumstances better? I know that Allah is angry with a servant when his parents are angry with him.
    Allah is compassionate and He loves compassion in all things. [Hadith]

  2. #2
    ایک بار پکار کے تو دیکھو .mirror.'s Avatar
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    Sep 2010
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    Re: Being Disowned by family and Parents.

    There are limits, I'd say.

    As we know, there is no obedience to creation and disobedience to Allah. If your (not you OP, just generally) parents are disowning you because of you practicing your fardh obligations, then it's not your fault. However, you should make an effort to try and reach out to them and make them accept you back; like call them, send them gifts, apologize, etc.

    Parents, on the other hand, needs to be a little more accepting, esp. if the child hasn't done anything Islamically wrong. Many, many, parents are just way too stubborn, worry about what will "others" think, their reputation in the community, and all that jazz.
    Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

    "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
    - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

  3. #3
    Odan *asiya*'s Avatar
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    May 2006
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    Re: Being Disowned by family and Parents.

    i asked an imam about this lately for someone, he said if they cut you off then there is no sin on you, just do what u can to be good to them and try to restablish relations and pray Allah guide them to islam.
    "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

    The Prophet said:

    "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."


    Narrated 'Abdullah:

    The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari

    "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

    By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

    [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

  4. #4
    New Member
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    Jul 2011
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    Re: Being Disowned by family and Parents.

    i agree with Asiya...i was disowned by my parents when i wanted to marry my then bf but alhamdullilah i did not stop trying to ask for apology from them. it took them 2 years to accept me back but it's been good and it's been 20 years since but sadly they have passed on...but the key is never give up

  5. #5
    Senior Member
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    Apr 2011
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    Re: Being Disowned by family and Parents.

    Assalamualaikum brother/ sister

    Only Allah knows best the reasons why these things happen. There is a whole plethora of reasons why people argue and cut ties of kinship. The question is what can a child do in this situation?

    1. Trust in Allah's Divine Decree
    Know that Allah will not have allowed this to occur without it being part of a plan of the child's life. Instead of losing hope in Allah, the child should believe that this has happened because of Allah's Mercy. After every hardship there is always good

    2. Why has this happened?
    If it is the child's fault, then he has to repent and ask for forgiveness. So how does one judge who is at fault? By referring to the Quran and Sunnah. This is the guide, the criterion Allah SWT has given man to live justly on the face of the Earth. This requires honesty and humility in each individual's heart to accept blame. However, if the blame is with the other party, they should just forgive and show love. Allah loves those who forgive others.

    3. Obedient to parents
    Allah has commanded us to be dutiful to our parents. Surah Al-Isra 23-24

    And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.
    And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, "My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small."

    4. Intentions
    If the child repents, tries but does not succeed then this is between him and Allah, the Just, The All Wise. Allah says in Al-Isra 25:

    Your Lord is most knowing of what is within yourselves. If you should be righteous [in intention] - then indeed He is ever, to the often returning [to Him], Forgiving.

    Finally no 5
    What is more important, Dunya or The Hereafter?

    Abu Huraira reported Prophet Muhammad SAW as saying: Let him be humbled into dust; let him be humbled into dust. It was said: God's Messenger, who is he? He said: He who sees either of his parents during their old age or he sees both of them, but he does not enter Paradise (because he has been undutiful to them). (Muslim)

    I hope this helps with Allah's guidance
    Last edited by reb13; 28-07-11 at 12:44 PM.
    Oh Allah, please make my best day the Day I meet You to answer for my sins, and please have mercy on the believers on the Day our deeds will be judged


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