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Thread: how to do sex

  1. #1
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    how to do sex

    how to do sex according to shariah

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    Super Moderator Jenicca's Avatar
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    Re: how to do sex

    I've moved this to the anonymous section inshaallah

    Can one of the married brothers or Bro mods pm this brother, rather than continue in the thread.

    وَالْعَصْرِ

    إِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ

    إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ

    If Allah (swt) only sent this Surah to us for the guidance of Mankind, this will be enough for us - Imam Shaafi'ee r.a.


    "Yeh dunya daar e faani hain, Tum apna dil mat lagaon, Ganimat samaj zinadagee ki bahar, aana na hoga, yahaa baar baar......"

    Khanqah Habibiyah

  3. #3
    ایک بار پکار کے تو دیکھو .mirror.'s Avatar
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    Re: how to do sex



    [QUOTE]Here's a very good, and well-balanced answer:

    The Issue of Oral Sex

    In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful,

    Firstly, it should be understood that Islam is a religion of modesty and shame. It encourages its followers to be modest and not have the instincts of animals. Modesty is one of the things which distinguish a human being from an animal.

    However, this should not prevent one from learning about matters relating to sexual behaviour. Then Sahaba (Allah be pleased with them) were never shy and ashamed in learning the truth. There are many incidents where the companions came to the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) and inquired about matters relating to sex. Even the Prophet (Allah bless him & give him peace), despite being very modest and bashful by nature, did not feel ashamed to discuss matters regarding the do’s and don’ts of sexual relations.

    To proceed with the answer to your question:

    The issue of oral sex is frequently asked. Many people shy away from it, whilst others regard discussing it offensive. However, those people who live in the “real” world will know the importance of mentioning this topic. Therefore, it is important to mention the Islamic perspective on oral sex in detail.

    There are certain acts which have been clearly prohibited in Shariah, that are:

    1) Anal sex

    Anal sex is strictly prohibited in Islam. There are many narrations of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) which emphasize this.

    In a Hadith recorded by Imam an-Nasa’i and others, the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said:

    “Allah will not look (with mercy) at the one that has anal sex with his wife” (meaning on the day of Qiyamah). (Sunan Nasa’i)

    2) Sex during menstruation (Haidh)

    The Qur’an has clearly and explicitly prohibited sexual intercourse during menstruation. Allah Most High says:

    “They ask you (O Prophet) regarding menstruation. Say: It his hurtful and impure. So abstain from women (sexually) in menstruation.” (Sura al-Baqarah, V.222)

    The above two things are clearly prohibited by the Qur’an and Sunnah. When books of Fiqh talk about what is lawful and what is not, they typically mention that a husband and wife may give pleasure to one another in any way they wish other than the above mentioned things.

    Although not specific to sex, we can add the following:

    1) Swallowing filth (sexual fluids of the wife or husband)

    2) Needlessly getting filthy

    These things are obvious as sexual fluids and filth is impure.

    There are also certain acts which are disliked, but permissible, for example: Total nudity, excessive sexual intercourse, etc…

    Oral sex

    As far as oral sex is concerned, there are two aspects to the issue. One being the moral aspect and the other the actual ruling regarding it in Islamic Law (meaning, to state whether it is Haram, Makruh or permissible).

    With regards to the first aspect, there is no doubt that the act of oral sex (in its full meaning) is a totally shameful act. The mouth which is used to recite the Dhikr of Allah, send Salutations on the blessed Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace), recite the holy Qur’an and other things, can not be used for filthy and dirty things such as oral sex, especially if it includes the filth entering the mouth.

    This is more or less what the scholars of the Indo/Pak mention in there Fatawa books and (according to this humble servant), this is the aspect (moral) they are referring to.

    As far as the second aspect is concerned, which is the Shariah ruling on oral sex; this actually depends on what you really mean by oral sex. The term “oral sex” covers a wide range of activities, from just kissing the private parts to the actual swallowing of filth.

    If “oral sex” means to insert the penis in the wife’s mouth to the extent that she takes in the filth, whether this filth is semen (Mani) or pre-ejaculatory fluid (Madhi), or the man takes the filth of the woman in his mouth, then this is not permissible. Taking the filth with all its forms in the mouth is unlawful. The fluids which come out are impure, thus make it impermissible to take it orally.

    However, if the same act is practiced by using a condom (to prevent the sexual fluids entering the mouth) or the wife merely kisses her husband’s penis and the husband kisses her genitals and they avoid any areas where there is pre-ejaculatory fluid, then this should be (according to this humble servant and Allah knows best) permissible, although disliked.

    It is mentioned in the famous Hanafi Fiqh reference book, and one regarded as a fundamental source in the school, al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya:

    “If a man inserts his penis in his wife’s mouth, it is said that it is disliked (makruh), and others said that it is not disliked.” (al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya, 5/372)

    This clear text from one of the major Hanafi books indicates that the scholars differed on the issue of inserting the penis into the wife’s mouth. According to some it was disliked whilst others totally permitted it. But it should be remembered that this is in the case when no sexual fluids enter the spouse’s mouth as mentioned in detail earlier. Due to the act being considered against the proper conduct of a Muslim, most scholars have held this practice to be disliked (even in the situation where one does not orally take the filth).

    This is what I have on this particular subject. I thought that there was a genuine need to shed some light on it from an Islamic perspective. I hope I have been able to clear the queries people have had on this topic.

    And Allah Knows Best


    [Mufti] Muhammad ibn Adam
    Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

    "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
    - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

  4. #4
    صلى الله عليه وسلم PakiBaz's Avatar
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    Re: how to do sex

    there is a book called a guide to sexual relations by Mufti ibn Adam
    The life of the heart is knowledge; so preserve it,
    The death of the heart is ignorance; so avoid it.
    Your best provision is true devotion; so provide it.
    This advice of mine is enough for you; so heed it.
    Imam Al Ghazali

  5. #5
    LFDLD
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    Re: how to do sex

    Why don't people just open the Quran and learn for themselves? Sheesh.

  6. 18-07-11, 10:10 PM

    شهيد إن شاء الله

    Reason
    not advice

  7. 18-07-11, 10:11 PM

    Reason
    not advice

  8. #6
    wa tawasaw bil haq
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    Re: how to do sex

    Brother,

    When you mention sharia, I hope your wish is to know what is halal and what is haraam. Allah says in Quran:

    (2:223) Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will; but do some good act for your souls beforehand; and fear Allah. And know that ye are to meet Him (in the Hereafter), and give (these) good tidings to those who believe.

    Thus, it is halaal to have sex with one's wife in any way one wishes. It is upto the couple to what makes them comfortable and enjoyable. There are least restrictions related to what is halaal and haram in Islam with respect to sex. In essence, if anything is not clearly haraam, you are free to do it if it makes you feel good. The only times when sex is prohibited between a husband and wife is:

    1. When the woman is having her menstural cycles, untill she is clean and takes a shower
    2. Anal sex is completely and strictly prohibited
    3. Sex while fasting and during the days of Haj is also prohibited

    It is also haraam to suckle one's wife.

    As for oral sex goes, there is no hadith which approves or disapproves it. Thus, some scholars approve of it as long as it is enjoyable for both partners, while some disapprove it and consider it indecent. You can review the following link on it:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islamic_views_on_oral_sex

    There is dispute in the view whether semen is impure, because according to some hadith a man can offer prayers, even if his clothes are stained with dried semen. You can visit the following link for it:

    http://www.islamhelpline.net/node/7914

    When there is no clear view of something to be halal or haraam, you are free to adopt any mean which is convenient to you because Allah says in Quran that Islam has been made easy. I don't want to get into the debate of halal and harram of this, because scholars have already debated it.
    [103:003] Except those who believe and do righteous good deeds, and recommend one another to the truth, and recommend one another to patience

    My blog link: http://beliefinunseen.blogspot.com/

  9. #7
    wa tawasaw bil haq
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    Re: how to do sex

    Brother,

    Allah says in Quran:

    (2:223) Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will; but do some good act for your souls beforehand; and fear Allah. And know that ye are to meet Him (in the Hereafter), and give (these) good tidings to those who believe.

    This verse was in response to the doubt people had because Jews disapproved certain sexual positions. Besides, there are clearly following prohibits in Islam with respect to sex:

    1. Husband and wife should not have sex while the wife is having her menstrual cycles
    2. They should not have anal sex
    3. They should not have sex when either of them is fasting
    4. They should not have sex when they are wearing ihram for Hajj or Umrah

    Besides, it is also disallowed for a husband to suckle his wife.

    As for the other things which are not clearly prohibited, it is up to the husband and wife to decide what do they find more enjoyable because strengthening mutual love a way to pleasing Allah. Not only that, according to a hadith, sexual act between husband and wife is sadaqah which earns them good deeds. The prophet (peace be upon him):

    ‘And every person will earn that which he intended.’ Those who do this (preceding a permissible with a good intention), will gain a reward if they intend (by their actions) to draw closer to God. However, if they did not intend that, then they will not gain any reward.” Also, the Prophet said, “And one will be performing an act of charity when he has sexual intercourse (with his wife).” The companions said, “O Messenger of God! Will one be satisfying his desire and still gain a reward?” He said, “Do you see that if he satisfies this desire by fornication, will he carry the weight of this evil act? Likewise, if he satisfies his desire by legal means (in marriage), he will gain a reward.” [Muslim & Ahmad]

    As for oral sex there are no clear hadith which approve or disapprove it. Thus, there are different views of scholars on the subject, some consider it halaal while others consider it haraam. You can refer the following link for details:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islamic_views_on_oral_sex

    There is also debate among scholars where semen is as impure as urine or not. There are some hadith which state that a man can offer prayers if his clothes have dried stains of semen. You can refer to the following link for details:

    http://www.islamhelpline.net/node/7914

    When there is no clear view of something to be halal or haraam, you are free to adopt any mean which is convenient to you because Allah says in Quran that Islam has been made easy. I don't want to get into the debate of halal and harram of this, because scholars have already debated it.
    [103:003] Except those who believe and do righteous good deeds, and recommend one another to the truth, and recommend one another to patience

    My blog link: http://beliefinunseen.blogspot.com/

  10. #8
    johnfisher
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    Re: how to do sex

    Whilst it's better to ask some strangers as an anonymous user, I would perhaps request you to ask a good brother to give you a basic overview.

    In fact you should learn about what is haraam, whatever isn't haraam, then you and your wife should decide amongst yourselves.

    Remember the Prophet PBUH said playing with your wife is encouraged, he played with his wives too. I wish brothers and sisters would stop giving details in full view for everyone, it's not pleasant to read and sometimes, even if we don't want it to, it catches the attention of our eyes.

    WHilst it's good to read about this stuff, just remember, like anything else, everyone is different and everyone wants different things, so when you are married insha'allah the best option is to speak and learn with your wife. Hopefully she is a virgin for you and you are for her so that you may learn together without feeling inadequate.

  11. #9

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    Re: how to do sex

    you can do whatever you like bro/Sis; just avoid going to extremes and oral too, for the latter is filthy [and for the woman to perform fellatio on the man is very risky in terms of filth entering the mouth; however one person suggested that he supposes that there is nothing wrong with it if it is performed on the man while the man has a condom on

    basically let your passions dictate while making an effort to avoid the above, and dont worry about it too much, for inshALlah people have little control when they're in a state of passion; Shayh Hamza Yusuf related a story once saying that the prophet Sulayman [as] was sitting on his throne? one day and there were two birds perched on his ceiling; the male bird said to the female one, 'i would turn this palace upside down and put it on Sulaman's [as] head for you'!, Sulayman [as] heard this and ordered the bird to come in front of him and the bird did with his little birdy heart trembling in fear!; Sulayman [as] said to the bird, 'what made you utter such a thing'?; the bird said, 'but Sulayman [as], i was in a state of passion when i said this and one is not taken to account of his actions/sayings when done/said in a state of passion'
    .........................

    now i dont know how much of that is relevent to the current day Shariah, but there seems to be some truth in it!


    Salaam!

  12. #10
    Unregistered123
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    Re: how to do sex

    I question you all who claim oral and other things are haram when Qur'an clearly states "Go unto your spouses however you like, except for when menstrating and anal"
    Rocket science to some of us is it?

    Anyone can understand what is prohibited and what is not by these verses in the Qur'an. Do you really need a detailed book and how to enjoy time with your spouse?

  13. #11
    Unregistered222
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    Re: how to do sex

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered123 View Post
    I question you all who claim oral and other things are haram when Qur'an clearly states "Go unto your spouses however you like, except for when menstrating and anal"
    Rocket science to some of us is it?

    Anyone can understand what is prohibited and what is not by these verses in the Qur'an. Do you really need a detailed book and how to enjoy time with your spouse?
    Because oral sex is absolutely disgusting.

    .....

    Use your head people! Islam is a religion which tries to be as pure a possible. Oral sex is an abhorrent act .
    Last edited by Grotbags; 03-08-11 at 12:30 PM. Reason: generalising people there and explicit

  14. #12
    The Original Green One Grotbags's Avatar
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    Re: how to do sex

    I think there is sufficient advice in here for the OP and closing the thread.

    Grotbags
    Some of The Best Dhikr

    1. Quran: Ultimately, the best dhikr is reading the Quran.

    Reward: You will be rewarded 10 rewards for every letter read. This prize basically illustrates the weight of the Quran in terms of where it should be in your life.

    2. SubhanAllah or SubhanAllah wa bihamdihi (I praise Allah (or All praise if to Allah) above all attributes that do not suit His Majesty.)

    Reward: A tree will be planted for you in Paradise. Nice! Start growing your own forest right now! Another hadith relates that whoever says this 100 times a day, his/her sins will be forgiven even if they were as much as the foam of the sea [Bukhari].

    3. Alhamdulillah (All praise is for Allah.)

    Reward: Your scales will be tipped on the Day of Judgment, full of rewards!

    4. SubhanAllah wal hamdulillah, wa la ilahaillAllah wa Allahu akbar I praise Allah (or All Praise if to Allah) above all attributes that do not suit His Majesty. All praise is for Allah. This is no deity worthy of worship besides Allah. Allah is Great.

    Reward: This combination of dhikr is the one most beloved by Allah, subhana wa taala. When you say them, sins fall off of you like leaves off of trees.

    5. La hawla wa la quwwata illa billah (There is no power or might except (by) Allah.)

    Reward: You will enter through a special door in Paradise for those who oft use this remembrance.

    6. SubhanAllah (x33), Alhamdulillah (x33), Allahu akbar (x34). Can be recited after salah and before you go to bed/sleep. (I praise Allah (or All praise if to Allah) above all attributes that do not suit His Majesty. All praise is to Allah. Allah is Great.)

    Reward: We know that this dhikr is said after each salah, but when Fatima raḍyAllāhu 'anha (may Allāh be pleased with her) the daughter of the Prophet came to her father requesting a servant to help with the household, the Messenger of Allah ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) told her to repeat the dhikr before her sleep and the results would be better than having a servant.

    7. Astaghfirullah (I seek Allahs forgiveness.)

    Reward: You will get protection from Allahs punishment. In Surah Nuh, ayah 10-12, Allah relates the story of Prophet Nuh and how he instructed his people to seek Allahs forgiveness. If they would just say astagfirullah, Allah would sent them rain in abundance, and increase their wealth and children, and give them gardens and rivers in Paradise.

    8. Ayahtul-Kursi [2:255].

    Reward: When you recite this verse before you go to sleep, Allah sends a guardian to you and no shaytan will come to you until morning. Those who read this after each salah shall enter Paradise.


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