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  1. #1
    NGE's Avatar
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    Getting Over a Broken Heart ~ The Islamic Way





    I've made this thread in order to assist the many heart broken individuals we get posting threads in this section. Getting over a lost love is quite a hardship and one can be very confused, emotional and in such pain that they are unable to rationalise the situation without some form of outside help.

    I've seen many threads where a person is told to "just get over it" etc and is treated quite harshly when this is not at all the way to deal with such people. I myself can attest to how it feels to experience the highest highs of love as well as the lowest of the lows and then to lose it all. This harsh treatment almost always comes from those who have not experienced the same situation and my advice to those who seek to advise another but cannot help but to be harsh, is that they should simply stay silent and leave it to those who will show some compassion and patience. (I remind myself before others, inshaa'Allah.)

    I found an article which, I believe has some excellent tips for those who are lovesick and thought sharing it would be a good idea. I hope this thread can help those who are suffering from heart break to understand better their situation and the whirlwind of emotions and then give them the push they need in order to move on and continue with life stronger then they were before, inshaa'Allah.

    Step 1: Accepting Allah’s Qadr

    This has got to be one of the toughest tests of qadr. Love muddles your mind and when all you see are the good characteristics of someone it is difficult to see why it is not working out, especially if this is your first real love. How can this brother who is practicing his deen, has a nice beard, soft and caring be wrong for me? How can this sister who is attractive, fun and religious not be my perfect partner?

    The key concept to remember here is: you do not know someone until you have lived with them for a substantial time. Even that person does not know what they are like and how they will react in certain situations. Just because you have these elated feelings of love does not necessarily mean this is the right person. Marriage is a struggle and people develop themselves and change with the experience. Only Allah knows your compatibility, only Allah knows what situations you will face and your reactions. Only Allah knows whether or not this marriage will bring you closer to Him or distract you from the real purpose in life. It is only Allah who knows. Have trust in Allah that He has made the right choice for you. For no matter how much this person claims their love for you or vice versa, know that no one can love you as much as Allah.

    So firstly, make dua to Allah to ease your pain and help you be content with His qadr. The following is my favorite Hadith regarding qadr as it really fills you with the awe of Allah and His infinite wisdom.

    “Allah `azza wa jall said: ‘Verily, from amongst My slaves is he whose faith cannot be rectified except by being inflicted with poverty, and were I to enrich him, it would surely corrupt him. Verily, from amongst My slaves is he whose faith cannot be rectified except by wealth and affluence, and were I to deprive him, it would surely corrupt him. Verily, from amongst My slaves is he whose faith cannot be rectified except by good health, and were I to make him sick, it would surely corrupt him. Verily, from amongst My slaves is he whose faith cannot be rectified except by disease and illness, and were I to make him healthy, it would surely corrupt him. Verily, from amongst My slaves is he who seeks worship by a certain act but I prevent that from him so that self-amazement does not enter his heart. Certainly, I run the affairs of My slaves by My Knowledge of what is in their hearts. Certainly, I am the All-Knower, All-Aware’.” [Tabarani]

    Step 2: Awareness of the love-drug syndrome

    An interesting study was conducted comparing drug users to people who claimed to be “madly in love”. They found that brain scans showed people who are in the first stages of love and people who are high on cocaine have the same areas of the brain stimulated while looking at a picture of their “beloved”. In other words, being in the first stage of love is similar to being high on drugs! With drugs, you are not in love with the powder itself – you are in love with the feelings that it gives you.

    Similarly, the thing that we love is the special attention, the butterflies in the stomach, the acknowledgment that someone cares about us in a special way, looks at us in a special way, thinks about us in a special way – the constant day dreaming about the future and daily scenarios. So it is not that this person is perfect, it is that this person allows us to feel all these emotions which are addictive. In reality we are not in love with the person, we are in love with Love itself.

    Being in love with Love explains how some people overlook major faults in their prospective spouse. I knew a practicing sister who wanted to marry someone who had a drug and alcohol problem. This was because in both cases these “faults” were discovered during the first butterfly phase of love and not before. Alhamdulilah, by the qadr of Allah the marriage did not take place, but it was due to circumstances, not because the sister had realised that they were not a suited match.

    Awareness of this love-drug syndrome has two major benefits. Firstly, awareness is power and it breeds hope. Once you are aware that it is the feelings you are attached to, realise you can actually get them elsewhere.

    These feelings are not specific to this one person; you will get these feelings with your new, more suitable prospective partner – the one that Allah will put into your life at the right time insha Allah. Love clouds your mind and makes you think that you will not find this strong love and passion with anyone else. But this is simply not true. You will find this love to be even stronger and more passionate with the right person (the one that is written for you in the Lahw al Mahfooz).

    The second benefit is knowing that just like a drug-user naturally has withdrawal symptoms when they stop, you too will naturally have withdrawal symptoms, and it will be difficult. Getting over someone is emotionally painful so don’t be too hard on yourself, validate your feelings and allow yourself time to heal. Know that this is common – nearly everyone goes through heartache at some point in their lives, and eventually recover with time.

    As a side point: It is not a sin to fall in love; it is a natural emotion which the human species depends on! If you did sin in the process then repent to Allah, He is the Most Forgiving, Most Merciful. Love is a powerful emotion, which is why there are boundaries in Islam. If you have fallen outside those boundaries, repent and move on.

    Step 3: Be proactive

    Allow yourself time but also get proactive! Marriage is just one of the many aspects of your life; it is not the be all and end all of things. What are your aspirations? What do you want to achieve in your life? Write down a list of goals you want to achieve by the end of the month and get started on them right away. As Muslims, our continuous goal is striving to get closer to Allah, so working on your eman and your relationship with Allah must be included in some way. Focus your attention on moving forward rather than wasting time with something that “could have been”.

    Step 4: Move on

    In the spirit of being proactive, the last stage is to actively open your heart and mind to someone else. This could be difficult, as naturally comparisons will creep in, but again realise the fact that it has not worked out means that Allah has someone better suited for you. As illustrated in the famous Hadith of the birds:

    “If you depend on Allah with due reliance, He would certainly give you provision as He gives it the birds who go forth hungry in the morning and return with a full belly at dusk.” [Tirmidhi]

    Allah will provide for you but you have to get up and get moving again. Just like the birds, go out and seek. Make the effort on your part and leave the rest to Allah and His infinite wisdom.
    Source: http://islamic-quotes.blogspot.com/2011/02/if-you-are-suffering-from-broken-heart.html
    Allah will ask on the Day of Judgment: “Where are those who loved each other for the sake of My glory? Today, on a day when there is no shade but Mine, I shall shade them with My shade.”(Muslim)

    "Zendagi Migzara..."

  2. #81
    Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. Bint Muaawiya's Avatar
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    Re: Getting Over a Broken Heart ~ The Islamic Way

    Great post.

  3. #82
    Senior Member Missy's Avatar
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    Re: Getting Over a Broken Heart ~ The Islamic Way

    What if u wish to not find anyone else. I know there is that saying there is something better but what if u don't want anyone better, i'm sure there are better people out there, but what if u r happy as u r just waiting.

    She read the whole Qur’an to him while she was young and learnt under his supervision. She got married to him and used to make ‘Qiyamu al-Lail’ and fast the days together. She said to him at his last hours before his death: ‘You proposed to my family to marry me so they married us. NOW I propose to you to marry you in Jannah?’ So he replied: ‘Do not marry any one after my death!’ Later in her life she was approached by the caliph Mu’awiyah Ibn Abi Sufyan but she refused as she wanted to be with her husband.

    This is the relation between Abu ad-Dardaa – may Allah be pleased with him - and his wife Umm ad-Dardaa as-Sughrah – may Allah have mercy on them

    - reported by Adh-Dhahabi [not a hadith]

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    Re: Getting Over a Broken Heart ~ The Islamic Way

    Just read the entire post. Well written and it helps I guess. But I still feel miserable.

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    Re: Getting Over a Broken Heart ~ The Islamic Way

    “Verily, from amongst My slaves is he who seeks worship by a certain act but I prevent that from him so that self-amazement does not enter his heart.”
    Can you please interpret this part carefully. These are very powerful words. Someone may interpret this wrong lose hope and not strive to do good.

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    Re: Getting Over a Broken Heart ~ The Islamic Way

    “Verily, from amongst My slaves is he who seeks worship by a certain act but I prevent that from him so that self-amazement does not enter his heart.”
    Can you please interpret this part carefully. These are very powerful words. Someone may interpret this wrong lose hope and not strive to do good.

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    Re: Getting Over a Broken Heart ~ The Islamic Way

    nice post.

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    Re: Getting Over a Broken Heart ~ The Islamic Way

    A.o.A
    MashaAllah. fantastic post.

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    Re: Getting Over a Broken Heart ~ The Islamic Way

    Hello, I am new to this site. I am so upset...My brother lost his other half because of his family. She was great but not Muslim. My father and community strongly disapproved and after a 4 year battle against everyone, my brother has lost. She left him for the sake of his family....us. I feel like a culprit. My brother is half dead. She just disappeared. He cries so much. I cant look at him like this. Please help me. How do I make his pain go away? What prayers will help him heal?

  10. #89
    Odan Nulbreaker's Avatar
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    Re: Getting Over a Broken Heart ~ The Islamic Way

    Quote Originally Posted by ZaraK View Post
    Hello, I am new to this site. I am so upset...My brother lost his other half because of his family. She was great but not Muslim. My father and community strongly disapproved and after a 4 year battle against everyone, my brother has lost. She left him for the sake of his family....us. I feel like a culprit. My brother is half dead. She just disappeared. He cries so much. I cant look at him like this. Please help me. How do I make his pain go away? What prayers will help him heal?
    These didn't work for me but they may work for your brother

    It was reported from Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (Peace and Blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to say, when something upset him:

    “Yaa Hayyu yaa Qayyoom, bi Rahmatika astagheeth (O Ever-Living One, O Everlasting One, by Your mercy I seek help).”
    It was reported that Asmaa’ bint ‘Umays (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to me: “Shall I not teach you some words to say when you feel distressed?

    اللهُ اللهُ رَبِّ لا أُشْـرِكُ بِهِ شَيْـئ
    اً
    ‘Allaah, Allaah, Rabbee laa ushriku bihi shay’an’
    Allaah, Allaah, my Lord, I do not associate anything with Him (Abu Dawud 2/87. See also Al-Albani, Sahih Ibn Majah 2/335.)
    It was reported from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No person suffers any anxiety or grief, and says:

    للّهُـمَّ إِنِّي عَبْـدُكَ ابْنُ عَبْـدِكَ ابْنُ أَمَتِـكَ نَاصِيَتِي بِيَـدِكَ، مَاضٍ فِيَّ حُكْمُكَ، عَدْلٌ فِيَّ قَضَاؤكَ أَسْأَلُـكَ بِكُلِّ اسْمٍ هُوَ لَكَ سَمَّـيْتَ بِهِ نَفْسَكَ أِوْ أَنْزَلْتَـهُ فِي كِتَابِكَ، أَوْ عَلَّمْـتَهُ أَحَداً مِنْ خَلْقِـكَ أَوِ اسْتَـأْثَرْتَ بِهِ فِي عِلْمِ الغَيْـبِ عِنْـدَكَ أَنْ تَجْـعَلَ القُرْآنَ رَبِيـعَ قَلْبِـي، وَنورَ صَـدْرِي وجَلَاءَ حُـزْنِي وذَهَابَ هَمِّـي

    ‘Allaahumma innee ‘abduka wa ibn ‘abdika wa ibn amatika, naasiyati bi yadika, maadin fiyya hukmuka, ‘adlun fiyya qadaa’uka, as’aluka bi kulli ismin huwa laka sammayta bihi nafsaka aw anzaltahu fi kitaabika aw ‘allamtahu ahadan min khalqika aw ista’tharta bihi fi ‘ilm il-ghaybi ‘andak an taj’ala al-Qur’aana rabee’ qalbi wa noor sadri wa jalaa’a huzni wa dhahaaba hammi’

    “O Allaah, I am Your slave, son of Your slave, son of Your female slave, my forelock is in Your hand, Your command over me is forever executed and Your decree over me is just. I ask You by every Name belonging to You which You named Yourself with, or revealed in Your Book, or You taught to any of Your creation, or You have preserved in the knowledge of the unseen with You, that You make the Qur’aan the life of my heart and the light of my breast, and a departure for my sorrow and a release for my anxiety”
    but Allaah will take away his sorrow and grief, and give him in their stead joy.” (Ahmad 1/391)
    "We cast the truth against the falsehood, so that it breaks its head, and lo! it vanishes; and woe to you for what you describe." Qur'an 21:18

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    Re: Getting Over a Broken Heart ~ The Islamic Way

    hi ! am totally new to this site or any of these sort of forums.I dont know to open up through words .All i know is i feel miserable and deppressed.
    I dont even know why am posting this.May be coz am too a coward to feel painful and sad.Some thoughts in the forum gives me heads up but after seconds the grief covers me all up

  12. #91
    ~dreamer
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    Re: Getting Over a Broken Heart ~ The Islamic Way

    Quote Originally Posted by KIA ORA View Post
    hi ! am totally new to this site or any of these sort of forums.I dont know to open up through words .All i know is i feel miserable and deppressed.
    I dont even know why am posting this.May be coz am too a coward to feel painful and sad.Some thoughts in the forum gives me heads up but after seconds the grief covers me all up
    are you Maori? the name suggests so..
    Last edited by *sheba*; 28-10-13 at 03:56 AM.
    O people who take pleasure in a life that will vanish, falling in love with a fading shadow is sheer stupidity~ Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyya

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    Re: Getting Over a Broken Heart ~ The Islamic Way

    I know this is an old thread but I came across it looking for answers on google and it was very helpful.

    I know it says accept Allahs Quadr. But how do you know that this is it? How do you know that you are supposed to leave it alone and not fight for your love? This is what I am struggling with...what do I do now? My heart is torn between wanting my relationship and leaving it alone bc it may be Quadr Allah.
    I am dealing with a break up that happened a little over a month ago, I have had some very bad days and some days that were a bit better, so I thought things were improving and the way I got there was having faith in Allah and telling myself that whats meant to be will be. That if Allah's plan is for us to be together then we would...So i pretty much sat back didnt do anything, didn't have any contact with him and tried to heal, I tried to move on with my life doing things that made me happy. But I now realize that I was only putting on a show for myself and everyone around me. I would cry everyday, I still do, and its getting worse, I am so irritable with everyone around me, I have no desire to do anything. Plans I once had with friends I no longer want. So I wonder how do I know if this is whats wanted whats supposed to happen? Am I to contact him like he told me when we broke up, he said he wanted me to change things and then call him, things might I add that we discussed at length that I told him I would do differently but he didnt accept at the time. How do I know if I am to leave it alone at this point or contact him to get back together.
    I wish there was a sure fire way to know but if anyone has some guidance i'd be glad to read it.
    And thank you for your time.

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    Re: Getting Over a Broken Heart ~ The Islamic Way

    When something unfortunate like this happens, you have three choices: You can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.

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    Re: Getting Over a Broken Heart ~ The Islamic Way

    Quote Originally Posted by Lamp View Post
    When something unfortunate like this happens, you have three choices: You can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.
    What do you mean by, to let it define you?

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    Icon9 Muslim man heartbroken

    Wassalamualaikum.....

    I am a Black Muslim & I am Truly Deeply in Love with an Arab Jordanian Woman. I love her with every ounce of love in my heart. I feel that ALLAH has sent me an angel. I would give my life to save her life with no hesitation. I come to her in her dreams and she comes to me in mine. We both love each other with all of our hearts. Me and her father sit and talk for hours at his restaurant after and doing business hours. I sit and listen to him tell stories of Amman Jordan and raising his family there....good times the bad times and the funny times. I love Her father just as much as I love his beautiful daughter. But he will not agree to me marrying his daughter. Even though he knows I love her with all of my heart and it would be an honor to have her hand & to spend the rest of my life with her. His main concern is other Family opinions, views, & perception of his daughter who he sent back to AMMAN to live for 10 years to learn their ways, culture, and traditions; just to come back to America at the age of 22 and fall in love with a Black Muslim who cares deeply for his daughters' name and treats her like the queen she is. He has arranged a marriage with a man she does not love. Has nothing in common with. But most importantly a man she DOES NOT LOVE. They are now engaged, which she told me approximatley 2 days ago after spending the entire Christmas holidays together..and I am alone on New Year's Eve and day and they are together at his request with his family. I feel as though I have lost everything. My heart has never felt such pain. I am truly empty inside. And ALLAH is the only thing holding me together. And my question to you all.....IS WHY? WHY AM I NOT WORTHY ENOUGH FOR HIS DAUGHTER? .....Yusuf
    Last edited by Yusuf4609; 01-01-14 at 08:34 AM.

  17. #96
    Sky Lark's Avatar
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    Re: Muslim man heartbroken

    Wa alaikum salam

    Being of a different nationality or race is not a good reason enough not to be allowed to marry someone. What is more important is the character of the person and how practicing he is.
    Are you practicing Islam like how it should be?
    Also, being in contact with her now would not be permissible as you are not married to her.

  18. #97
    Odan Faith1's Avatar
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    Re: Muslim man heartbroken

    It's not that you're not worthy enough for his daughter, it's just people care about what others will think unfortunately. I don't see why her dad cares what other people will think about it and not accepting you simply because you're not an Arab is very stupid. On a side note, only Allah is worthy of worship/praise.

    "Why Do We Fill Our Hearts With Everything But Allah And Expect Not To Fall Apart"

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    Senior Member Aliyah101's Avatar
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    Re: Muslim man heartbroken

    If you fix your relationship with Allah he will fix your relationships with people so you need to re-evaluate your life and see what kind of connection you have with Him and work on that.

    If the relationship started in a Haram way which seems to be the case from what you have written, don’t expect Allah to find a way for you two to be together regardless of your nationalities.

    BTW if Allah has written something for you it won’t miss you despite what other people try to do.
    Say (O Muhammad SAW to mankind):
    “If you (really) love Allāh then follow me (i.e. accept Islāmic Monotheism, follow the Qur’ān and the Sunnah), Allāh will love you and forgive you of your sins. And Allāh is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” (Aali Imran 3:31)

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    Re: Muslim man heartbroken

    Get it together please. Only Allah (swt) is worthy of worship and she is not the end all be all of your existence. Also edit the last part of your post. It's inappropriate. May Allah (swt) give you what is good for you.
    Last edited by purple89; 01-01-14 at 07:42 AM.

  21. #100
    Odan عبد المنعم's Avatar
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    Re: Muslim man heartbroken



    Two problems.

    Haram: Ok so akhi, you are openly telling us that you were committing clear cut Haram (kissing etc.) with this woman and therefore its a good thing she ended up with someone else.

    You would have only had unhappiness and misery in your life as you began this in a haram way. nothing built on haram can ever benefit you. (although allah is most merciful and he can make exceptions whenever he wishes, to the usual cause and effect system which he has placed for us)

    Too much love: you exalt the name of Allah, not a woman lol. i almost thought you were trolling but i will give the benefit of doubt. there were some other words thrown in there like "worship" which i would not use for anyone but Allah (even though i am aware you meant that you just love her alot). I think we need to just step back and ditatch sometimes. Allah will strengthen us and soon you will be having amazing dreams from allah and this woman will leave your dreams insha allah.

    and NO, i am not going to cover the culture issue because no need to here. you got bigger issues from where i am looking.

    May allah guide and forgive us
    . May Allah bring Victory to the mujahideen
    Last edited by عبد المنعم; 01-01-14 at 08:02 AM.
    70 scholars issued fatawas that Imam Ahmad b. Hanbal should be executed! That was the popular opinion back then, don't be fooled by popular opinion today! - Ahmad Musa jibreel


    Tawheed Series - click

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    Re: Muslim man heartbroken

    I will and thank you

  23. #102
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    Re: Muslim man heartbroken

    I don't mean to sound rude or heartless but .... I feel as queasy as I did after watching Romeo and Juliet for English.

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


    Anyway, pull yourself together and move on. If she is engaged then Islamically it's HARAM for you to propose to her.

    I suggest you get on with your life and forget the past, which by the way was haram since Muslims should not be dating.


  24. #103
    Kasim Kas1m's Avatar
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    Re: Muslim man heartbroken

    If you spend hours talking to his dad then why wouldn't it work.

    And you kissed her while she is engaged. Has she not shame?
    الصلوۃ والسلام علیک یا سیدی یارسول اللہ

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    Re: Muslim man heartbroken

    But akhi....what should I have done after her father said no....only due to the fact that I am not Arab? I'm not the type to get angry at all...but that just didn't sit well with me....and we where trying to do it the rite way....I proceeded because I felt in my heart that was not a good enough reason

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    Kasim Kas1m's Avatar
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    Re: Muslim man heartbroken

    It's hard to say. Arabs don't marry outside I think so and they are quite stubborn on that. I know the way they look at us. It's disgusting (I've been to hajj and experienced it)
    الصلوۃ والسلام علیک یا سیدی یارسول اللہ

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    Re: Muslim man heartbroken

    Quote Originally Posted by Yusuf4609 View Post
    But akhi....what should I have done after her father said no....only due to the fact that I am not Arab? I'm not the type to get angry at all...but that just didn't sit well with me....and we where trying to do it the rite way....I proceeded because I felt in my heart that was not a good enough reason
    The point is even though her father is wrong to reject you based on your skin color, Islamically there is nothing more you can do.
    She is engaged, that means it's haram for you to propose. There is a sahih hadith on this, I'll post if I find it.
    The only option you have at the moment is to repent for your haram relationship and move on with your life.
    Also, I don't get why the girl is marrying someone she doesn't want to and why is she sneaking around with you after accepting another guy's proposal??


    OP - Refer to this thread - http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...he-Islamic-Way
    Last edited by Rebel101; 01-01-14 at 08:58 AM.

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    Re: Muslim man heartbroken

    She is being forced....& I did not know....that's why I told her I was just going to move to DC and proceed with this business with my brother....I am not perfect....but I strive....but I can't go like that....i told her no one can make you do anything....we stayed close after the confrontation....out of respect for her and her father I backed down....because I saw for myself that what she had told me from the beginning was true....that he would never agree....no matter what. But like I said...we proceeded to stay close because we both did not agree with the reason

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    Senior Member Aliyah101's Avatar
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    Re: Muslim man heartbroken

    Quote Originally Posted by Yusuf4609 View Post
    But akhi....what should I have done after her father said no....only due to the fact that I am not Arab? I'm not the type to get angry at all...but that just didn't sit well with me....and we where trying to do it the rite way....I proceeded because I felt in my heart that was not a good enough reason
    Come on man you knew her father wouldn’t let you guys get married and you still let yourself fall for her to the point where you’re giving her some of Allah’s rights like worship astaghfirullah
    Say (O Muhammad SAW to mankind):
    “If you (really) love Allāh then follow me (i.e. accept Islāmic Monotheism, follow the Qur’ān and the Sunnah), Allāh will love you and forgive you of your sins. And Allāh is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” (Aali Imran 3:31)

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    Kasim Kas1m's Avatar
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    Re: Muslim man heartbroken

    Astaghfirullah
    الصلوۃ والسلام علیک یا سیدی یارسول اللہ

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    Re: Muslim man heartbroken

    Akhi....that's why I post....I pray all day...and my brother can't even give me an answer....I'm good dude man....and I stayed away....I wouldn't even call .....because we both agreed that even though we both tried to do this the rite way....that we had to leave each other alone....because it was haram....but in her defense....it's been about 6 men that her parents have tried to marry her to...they never stopped trying after we both approached....she folded akhi....nothing left to do but move....which I am doing...I just needed some advice before doing so...wasn't really sure if I was making the rite decision by moving to DC

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    Kasim Kas1m's Avatar
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    Re: Muslim man heartbroken

    Just move and forget about her. And soon you will move on with your life and it'll be just a fragment of the past.
    الصلوۃ والسلام علیک یا سیدی یارسول اللہ

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    Re: Muslim man heartbroken

    Quote Originally Posted by Yusuf4609 View Post
    Akhi....that's why I post....I pray all day...and my brother can't even give me an answer....I'm good dude man....and I stayed away....I wouldn't even call .....because we both agreed that even though we both tried to do this the rite way....that we had to leave each other alone....because it was haram....but in her defense....it's been about 6 men that her parents have tried to marry her to...they never stopped trying after we both approached....she folded akhi....nothing left to do but move....which I am doing...I just needed some advice before doing so...wasn't really sure if I was making the rite decision by moving to DC
    May Allah the most merciful make it easy for you to forget this girl and may He replace her with someone better for you and your hereafter. Ameen.
    Draw closer to Allah akhi, only in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find peace/rest. In sha Allah the more you strengthen your connection with Allah the more likely you are to shake your head at this post and move on towards better things in life. I think moving away from wherever she is and deleting her contact details is good start

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    Re: Muslim man heartbroken

    Shame!!!!

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    Re: Muslim man heartbroken

    Inshallah

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    Re: Muslim man heartbroken

    Quote Originally Posted by Kas1m View Post
    It's hard to say. Arabs don't marry outside I think so and they are quite stubborn on that. I know the way they look at us. It's disgusting (I've been to hajj and experienced it)
    Stop generalizing please. My dad (who's Arab) would have no problem if my potential was black/white/Pakistani etc.. As long as he's Muslim
    "Why Do We Fill Our Hearts With Everything But Allah And Expect Not To Fall Apart"

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    Re: Muslim man heartbroken

    Quote Originally Posted by Faith1 View Post
    Stop generalizing please. My dad (who's Arab) would have no problem if my potential was black/white/Pakistani etc.. As long as he's Muslim
    I don't mean all. Most anyway. Do you know how they treat Pakistanis in Saudi? lol ask me
    الصلوۃ والسلام علیک یا سیدی یارسول اللہ

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    Re: Muslim man heartbroken

    Quote Originally Posted by Kas1m View Post
    I don't mean all. Most anyway. Do you know how they treat Pakistanis in Saudi? lol ask me
    The same could be said about how Pakistanis and other Asians treat Africans.

    Funny thing is, we all complain of those who are racist to us but we forget we are racist to others.

    What goes around does tend to come back around.

    Anyhow, back on topic folks.
    Last edited by Rebel101; 01-01-14 at 09:15 AM.

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    Re: Muslim man heartbroken

    Quote Originally Posted by Kas1m View Post
    I don't mean all. Most anyway. Do you know how they treat Pakistanis in Saudi? lol ask me
    I've heard many Saudis are racist so that doesn't surprise me but Arabs from other places aren't like that. As far as marriage I do agree most only want their kids to marry in their race but that doesn't make them racists. It's just a cultural thing,that pretty much goes for most people of every race. It's silly but that's how it is
    "Why Do We Fill Our Hearts With Everything But Allah And Expect Not To Fall Apart"

  40. #119
    Senior Member Aliyah101's Avatar
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    Re: Muslim man heartbroken

    It’s good that you’re trying to move on. There is really no point in trying to contact her or see her one last time etc if she is marrying someone else.

    Don’t waste your time on people who judge you based on your skin colour, they are not worth it

    Next time make sure your relationships are Halal so Allah can bless them.

    Read the stick thread on this section about how to getting over a broken heart - there are some great advice in there

    Lean to love Allah above everything else

    May Allah make it easy for you to move on
    Say (O Muhammad SAW to mankind):
    “If you (really) love Allāh then follow me (i.e. accept Islāmic Monotheism, follow the Qur’ān and the Sunnah), Allāh will love you and forgive you of your sins. And Allāh is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” (Aali Imran 3:31)

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    Re: Muslim man heartbroken

    I disagree....if you are under the grace if the most merciful....under THE ONLY TRUTH OF ISLAM.....there is no more skin tone or race....YOU ARE TRUE MUSLIM

 

 

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