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  1. #1
    Ramadan Kariim ! <3 Sophiia's Avatar
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    Sisters, would you marry someone younger than you?

    :

    So, would you? Im not sure if i would, i would feel like im babysitting the dude ..

    I will be 21 next week, and i wouldnt mind marrying a bro in his early 30s. Lets say 32-33 max.
    The upper hand (the one that gives) is better than the lower hand (the one that takes).

  2. #2
    Alhamdulilah'AlaKulliHaal Hayaa's Avatar
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    Re: Sisters, would you marry someone younger than you?



    sister, this topic has been discussed before..you can search for it and bump it up if you want
    حَسْبُنَا اللَّهُ وَ نِعْمَ الْوَكِيلُ

  3. #3
    Ramadan Kariim ! <3 Sophiia's Avatar
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    Re: Sisters, would you marry someone younger than you?

    Ahh sorry /:
    The upper hand (the one that gives) is better than the lower hand (the one that takes).

  4. #4
    الإسلام هو الحياة sis_on_sunnah's Avatar
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    Re: Sisters, would you marry someone younger than you?

    assalamu alaykum,

    if one of the best women khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her) did, then it should be good enough for us too.

    however, it goes without saying that rasulullah(may the peace and blessings of Allah subhanahu wa ta'aala be upon him) was the BEST of mankind and had qualities that no man older than him could match, so if there is a young brother(obv not tooo young lol) with excellent qualities, then rather than look at his age and think 'he is too young', look at his qualities

    obviously there would be factors such as if the brother could provide which you would also have to consider
    http://www.deenulhuq.wordpress.com

    Don't depend on anyone too much in this world because even your own shadow leaves you when you are in darkness ~ibn taymiyyah

  5. #5
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    Re: Sisters, would you marry someone younger than you?

    ^That and yes I would consider marrying someone younger since in today's world you cant afford to be too picky with the lack of good muslims around and bachelors etc. As long as the deen is there and the meeting of minds and attraction then why not?

  6. #6
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    Re: Sisters, would you marry someone younger than you?

    I'm not sure.. guys mature really late and there are even guys who are in their 30's who lack that lol I'm happy with someone if they are mature, responsible and think alike. Age doesn't matter but seeing as though i'm only 20 i won't go for anyone younger atm, but if i wasn't married and was still single i'll take it into consideration. Question is, will brothers marry someone older than them?

  7. #7
    Keeping it real! sis_niqabi's Avatar
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    No I wouldn't. Men tend to mature later than women do.
    Say, O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.”
    (Surah Az Zumar, (Chapter 39: Verse 53)

  8. #8
    Super Moderator Jenicca's Avatar
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    Re: Sisters, would you marry someone younger than you?

    some men never mature.

    Its spiritual maturity thats matters the most
    وَالْعَصْرِ

    إِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ

    إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ


    If Allah (swt) only sent this Surah to us for the guidance of Mankind, this will be enough for us” - Imam Shaafi'ee r.a.


    Revive A Sunnah


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  9. #9
    hmm
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    Re: Sisters, would you marry someone younger than you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenicca View Post
    some men never mature.

    Its spiritual maturity thats matters the most
    Spiritual maturity?

  10. #10
    Odan MuslimSoljah's Avatar
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    Re: Sisters, would you marry someone younger than you?

    I'm mature.
    I thank Allah for blessing me with Islam... there are billions of souls out there who are in the darkness... yet we still do not appreciate it and thank him enough

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    Re: Sisters, would you marry someone younger than you?

    Prob not i'm 17 18 in a few months lol but when i do get married i wouldn't mind someone 5-10 years older then me.
    I just think when it's a guy older is better.

  12. #12
    میرے دل کا نور .mirror.'s Avatar
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    Re: Sisters, would you marry someone younger than you?

    Babysitting the dude?
    How young are you thinking exactly? Five?

    If he's anywhere around 18 and acts mature and knows his obligations/rights, he'll be a good husband.
    And, then there are those who are 32 and still need babysitting. :P

    Quote Originally Posted by Ani_19 View Post
    Question is, will brothers marry someone older than them?
    Yes.
    Call onto Allah, such that you are certain that He, al-Mujib wal-Kareem, will answer your call before you even lower your hands.
    وَقَالَ رَبُّكُمُ ادْعُونِي أَسْتَجِبْ لَكُمْ

  13. #13
    Nostalgia.. ~ Jumana ~'s Avatar
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    Re: Sisters, would you marry someone younger than you?

    well , am 22 and i would like a spouse who is from 7-15 years older than me ... because maturity does matter to me ... but in case i ever said yes to a groom who`s younger than me (shouldn`t be less than 3 years ) that would mean he is REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY GOOD person !!

  14. #14
    Nostalgia.. ~ Jumana ~'s Avatar
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    Re: Sisters, would you marry someone younger than you?

    [QUOTE=.mirror.;4162642]Babysitting the dude?
    How young are you thinking exactly? Five
    ?

    If he's anywhere around 18 and acts mature and knows his obligations/rights, he'll be a good husband.
    And, then there are those who are 32 and still need babysitting. :P



    well we have to admitt ! some of the brothers need long time to mature ! so it`ll be like babysitting a BIGGER child ! LOL!

  15. #15
    میرے دل کا نور .mirror.'s Avatar
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    Re: Sisters, would you marry someone younger than you?

    I was mature when I was 18.

    Quote Originally Posted by MuslimSoljah View Post
    I'm mature.


    Lol, 'm kidding, MS.
    Call onto Allah, such that you are certain that He, al-Mujib wal-Kareem, will answer your call before you even lower your hands.
    وَقَالَ رَبُّكُمُ ادْعُونِي أَسْتَجِبْ لَكُمْ

  16. #16
    Odan MuslimSoljah's Avatar
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    Re: Sisters, would you marry someone younger than you?

    [QUOTE=Leemar Tayem;4162648]
    Quote Originally Posted by .mirror. View Post
    Babysitting the dude?
    How young are you thinking exactly? Five
    ?

    If he's anywhere around 18 and acts mature and knows his obligations/rights, he'll be a good husband.
    And, then there are those who are 32 and still need babysitting. :P



    well we have to admitt ! some of the brothers need long time to mature ! so it`ll be like babysitting a BIGGER child ! LOL!
    This.
    I thank Allah for blessing me with Islam... there are billions of souls out there who are in the darkness... yet we still do not appreciate it and thank him enough

  17. #17
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    Re: Sisters, would you marry someone younger than you?

    well we have to admitt ! some of the brothers need long time to mature ! so it`ll be like babysitting a BIGGER child ! LOL!
    ^Oww man, I couldn't handle this, I definately have to marry someone who is more mature than me otherwise it's probably going to be a lot of arguments and disaster, I hate arguments unless it's just joking around.

    So yeah note to self: marry someone who is more mature, more religious and better in character than me so I can learn from them and become closer to Allah. Or should I marry someone who is immature and less spiritual than I and patiently guide him to become a better Muslim. oww marriage is such a complicated matter and I'm sure my marriage is going to be a disaster (I feel sorry for whoever has to put up with me) but got to complete half of my deen somehow and no one will say it is easy.

  18. #18
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    Re: Sisters, would you marry someone younger than you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ani_19 View Post
    Question is, will brothers marry someone older than them?
    I'm 26 now, and maybe I could marry a lady a couple of years older than me (probably 3 years max), but when I was younger (a good few years ago), I was interested in marrying an older sister (a few years older than me), however she wanted someone older than her. We're still both single, though I'm not sure if I would want to marry her now (and yep, it would be becuase of her age).

  19. #19
    Odan .Abu.Rambo.'s Avatar
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    Re: Sisters, would you marry someone younger than you?

    age don't matter so much
    ‎"Listen with the ears of tolerance. See through the eyes of compassion. Speak with the language of love."
    Rumi RahimuAllah.

  20. #20
    not really here NGE's Avatar
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    Re: Sisters, would you marry someone younger than you?

    Mental age does.
    Allah will ask on the Day of Judgment: “Where are those who loved each other for the sake of My glory? Today, on a day when there is no shade but Mine, I shall shade them with My shade.”(Muslim)

    "Zendagi Migzara..."

  21. #21
    Odan .Abu.Rambo.'s Avatar
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    Re: Sisters, would you marry someone younger than you?

    Quote Originally Posted by NeverGoodEnough View Post
    Mental age does.
    skill in call of duty does

    how you doing bro ?
    ‎"Listen with the ears of tolerance. See through the eyes of compassion. Speak with the language of love."
    Rumi RahimuAllah.

  22. #22
    Away. Soliloquy's Avatar
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    Re: Sisters, would you marry someone younger than you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sophiia View Post
    :

    So, would you? Im not sure if i would, i would feel like im babysitting the dude ..

    I will be 21 next week, and i wouldnt mind marrying a bro in his early 30s. Lets say 32-33 max.


    Yes, but at the most, a year younger than me; I guess that's both being realistic and personal preference.

    If I was like 25+, then it would be different... Well, I think it would. =/
    Ya Muqallib al-Quloob, thabbit qalbi 'alaa Deenik
    O' Converter of Hearts, make my heart steadfast upon Thy Way
    We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.

  23. #23
    Ramadan Kariim ! <3 Sophiia's Avatar
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    Re: Sisters, would you marry someone younger than you?

    Quote Originally Posted by .mirror. View Post
    I was mature when I was 18.





    Lol, 'm kidding, MS.
    I dont think a brother is mature enough when he is 17-18. Men are always 3 years younger than women mentally if they are at the same age. Dont you know bio...:roflt:

    Men are "better" when they are 5-10 years older than the woman. But yeah there are some men who are mature enoguh when they are 18, but thats really rare :P
    The upper hand (the one that gives) is better than the lower hand (the one that takes).

  24. #24

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    Re: Sisters, would you marry someone younger than you?

    Yes!

  25. #25
    not really here NGE's Avatar
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    Re: Sisters, would you marry someone younger than you?

    Quote Originally Posted by .Abu.Rambo. View Post
    skill in call of duty does
    If that's the case then that's another reason why you are marriage material akh. What are the ladies waiting for eh?

    how you doing bro ?
    Alhamdulillah, better than I thought.
    Allah will ask on the Day of Judgment: “Where are those who loved each other for the sake of My glory? Today, on a day when there is no shade but Mine, I shall shade them with My shade.”(Muslim)

    "Zendagi Migzara..."

  26. #26
    Super Moderator Jenicca's Avatar
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    Re: Sisters, would you marry someone younger than you?

    Ummul Mu'mineen Khadijah r.a, married a man much much younger than her.

    If a man came to me, that followed in His example and footsteps, I would without a doubt marry him.
    وَالْعَصْرِ

    إِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ

    إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ


    If Allah (swt) only sent this Surah to us for the guidance of Mankind, this will be enough for us” - Imam Shaafi'ee r.a.


    Revive A Sunnah


    The Qur'an Club !!

  27. #27
    Ramadan Kariim ! <3 Sophiia's Avatar
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    Re: Sisters, would you marry someone younger than you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenicca View Post
    Ummul Mu'mineen Khadijah r.a, married a man much much younger than her.

    If a man came to me, that followed in His example and footsteps, I would without a doubt marry him.

    Well said sis..
    The upper hand (the one that gives) is better than the lower hand (the one that takes).

  28. #28
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    Re: Sisters, would you marry someone younger than you?

    A lot of men are a lot maturer than women their age.
    Women don't mentally mature younger than men by nature (physically, they do), it's that for some reason barely any Muslim parents are willing to give their sons the same kick in the arse and responsibilities they do their daughters.
    Last edited by ,, -alwaysbeme!; 24-01-11 at 10:30 AM.

  29. #29
    Super Moderator Jenicca's Avatar
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    Re: Sisters, would you marry someone younger than you?

    Define "mature"

    By its nature, its a relative concept.
    وَالْعَصْرِ

    إِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ

    إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ


    If Allah (swt) only sent this Surah to us for the guidance of Mankind, this will be enough for us” - Imam Shaafi'ee r.a.


    Revive A Sunnah


    The Qur'an Club !!

  30. #30
    not really here NGE's Avatar
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    Re: Sisters, would you marry someone younger than you?

    Mature: fully developed in mind and body, as a person.

    The confusion lies in the fact most of us have different ideas of what we judge to be 'mature'.

    For example, the way I solve problems and handle difficult situations. People would say "oh he's quite mature".

    On the other hand I am quite playful and I like to tell a lot of jokes. Some one can see that and say "oh he's quite immature".

    I think generally speaking people define maturity by how many responsibilities one has. The more they have the more mature they must be. For example a man could have a very well payed job as a lawyer handling high pressure cases. You would assume that he must have a high level of maturity. But then you would be very surprised when he gets home and acts like a five year old. But it happens.
    Allah will ask on the Day of Judgment: “Where are those who loved each other for the sake of My glory? Today, on a day when there is no shade but Mine, I shall shade them with My shade.”(Muslim)

    "Zendagi Migzara..."

  31. #31
    pariah *asiya*'s Avatar
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    Re: Sisters, would you marry someone younger than you?

    its some weird old western idea that a man should be 5 + years older, and at least a few inches taller than the woman he marries, alhamdulillah muslims dont follow this kind of thinking, because deen and personality compatability is what makes a marriage work. muhammad and khadijah radiAllahu anha 15 year age gap, Julaybib and the unknown ansai girl radiAllahu anhum a good few inches gap

    sisters should marry a man for his deen and good character as our prophet advised.
    "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

    The Prophet said:

    "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

    muslim

    Narrated 'Abdullah:

    The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


    "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

    By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

    [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]


  32. #32
    Senile Member seven's Avatar
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    Re: Sisters, would you marry someone younger than you?

    we always get the 'maturity' argument when this subject comes up.

    it's a real issue, and i think the problem lies with men and how they're brought up

    during the time of the Prophet teenagers used to lead armies! so imagine what their upbringing was like?

    are men being mollycoddled way too much these days that prevents them from maturing?
    Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, then beat you with experience.

  33. #33
    Nostalgia.. ~ Jumana ~'s Avatar
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    Re: Sisters, would you marry someone younger than you?

    Quote Originally Posted by ,, -alwaysbeme! View Post
    A lot of men are a lot maturer than women their age.Women don't mentally mature younger than men by nature (physically, they do), it's that for some reason barely any Muslim parents are willing to give their sons the same kick in the arse and responsibilities they do their daughters.
    HMMMMM...... NOPE ! i don`t think so i would say "FEW men are maturer than women their age ..."

  34. #34
    Very happy bunny -:) KeeKee's Avatar
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    Re: Sisters, would you marry someone younger than you?

    yeah...i mean, i did.

    to be honest men and maturity don't go together. only kidding. i don't think it depends on age. you get men in their 30's who are still mummies boys
    and can't think for themselves, and you get younger men who are quite mature in those things that they SHOULD be mature in. and of course, vice versa.
    I think this is in a hadith- correct me if im wrong, i'll look it up when i can- but apparently a husband should be playful with his wife but mature when it comes to matters of deen etc.

    and at the end of the day, age isn't even really a factor.
    The enforcement of Muslim Brotherhood is the greatest social ideal of Islam. On it was based the Prophet's (SAW) sermon on his last pilgrimage, and Islam cannot be completely realized until this ideal is achieved. '
    (Shaikh Maulana Muhammad Yusuf)
    In Lam Takun Ghaadiban Annee Falaa Ubaalee...

  35. #35
    Super Moderator Jenicca's Avatar
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    Re: Sisters, would you marry someone younger than you?

    Quote Originally Posted by seven View Post
    we always get the 'maturity' argument when this subject comes up.

    it's a real issue, and i think the problem lies with men and how they're brought up

    during the time of the Prophet teenagers used to lead armies! so imagine what their upbringing was like?

    are men being mollycoddled way too much these days that prevents them from maturing?
    What do you expect from anyone, who has had tarbiyah and tazkiyah done by Nabi You would not expect any less.
    Subhan'allah, they had the oppurtunity to sit in the company of Nabi , and when they left that company, many of them went to the Baituallah.

    We are very very far from now, in terms of time, and even location, still its no excuse.

    But that real spiritual maturity, whereby their souls and hearts are advanced that they are able to lead, rather than follow.

    In this present day, the souls of the parents lack that essence how can we expect it in our children. Most of us dont even know how to bring our children up properly, focusing on a strong and healthy body and the best education, and the most wholesome food, but we neglect the most important thing that needs to be strong to maintain Deen within an individual, the soul.

    The Sahabah had their souls nourished, by the speech of Nabi the Qur'an, dhikrullah, sadaqah, Qiyaam.....and ours......well we dont even come close.
    Last edited by Jenicca; 24-01-11 at 01:35 PM.
    وَالْعَصْرِ

    إِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ

    إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ


    If Allah (swt) only sent this Surah to us for the guidance of Mankind, this will be enough for us” - Imam Shaafi'ee r.a.


    Revive A Sunnah


    The Qur'an Club !!

  36. #36
    Odan .Abu.Rambo.'s Avatar
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    Re: Sisters, would you marry someone younger than you?

    Quote Originally Posted by NeverGoodEnough View Post
    If that's the case then that's another reason why you are marriage material akh. What are the ladies waiting for eh?



    Alhamdulillah, better than I thought.

    Why are you trying to get me hitched, i love my single life

    shukr Alhamdulilah in my duas bro
    ‎"Listen with the ears of tolerance. See through the eyes of compassion. Speak with the language of love."
    Rumi RahimuAllah.

  37. #37
    not really here NGE's Avatar
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    Re: Sisters, would you marry someone younger than you?

    Quote Originally Posted by .Abu.Rambo. View Post
    Why are you trying to get me hitched, i love my single life

    shukr Alhamdulilah in my duas bro
    appreciate your duas a lot bro.

    Why am I trying to get you hitched? Lol cos I know you are ready for your wifey. Seriously, though try and do it soon while you are still quite young and not old and grey like me
    Allah will ask on the Day of Judgment: “Where are those who loved each other for the sake of My glory? Today, on a day when there is no shade but Mine, I shall shade them with My shade.”(Muslim)

    "Zendagi Migzara..."

  38. #38
    Odan .Abu.Rambo.'s Avatar
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    Re: Sisters, would you marry someone younger than you?

    Quote Originally Posted by NeverGoodEnough View Post
    appreciate your duas a lot bro.

    Why am I trying to get you hitched? Lol cos I know you are ready for your wifey. Seriously, though try and do it soon while you are still quite young and not old and grey like me
    barakallahu bro

    loool, trust me if i was ready i'd let you guys know i'm not ready yet

    bro you haven't even peaked yet and looking at this thread the sisters like older bros so get out there lool
    ‎"Listen with the ears of tolerance. See through the eyes of compassion. Speak with the language of love."
    Rumi RahimuAllah.

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    not really here NGE's Avatar
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    Re: Sisters, would you marry someone younger than you?

    Quote Originally Posted by .Abu.Rambo. View Post
    bro you haven't even peaked yet and looking at this thread the sisters like older bros so get out there lool
    I did go out there.. and it was cold.. and it was scary..
    Allah will ask on the Day of Judgment: “Where are those who loved each other for the sake of My glory? Today, on a day when there is no shade but Mine, I shall shade them with My shade.”(Muslim)

    "Zendagi Migzara..."

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    میرے دل کا نور .mirror.'s Avatar
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    Re: Sisters, would you marry someone younger than you?

    Quote Originally Posted by KeeKee View Post
    I think this is in a hadith- correct me if im wrong, i'll look it up when i can- but apparently a husband should be playful with his wife but mature when it comes to matters of deen etc.
    I have definitely read that before. Don't know if that's a hadith or not, though.

    Even Nabi used to race with Aisha (RA). You can't possibly call this childish.

    There are times when a man can act like this to please his wife, make her try to laugh, and just increase the love between them. But, that same man should be able to "man up" when the time comes. However, some are just childish 24/7, while others act like robots all the time with their wives.

    A little immaturity/playfulness is healthy in a relationship, in my opinion.
    Call onto Allah, such that you are certain that He, al-Mujib wal-Kareem, will answer your call before you even lower your hands.
    وَقَالَ رَبُّكُمُ ادْعُونِي أَسْتَجِبْ لَكُمْ


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