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  1. #1
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    would a muslim man marry a non-virgin muslim girl?

    would anyone even consider marrying a non-virigin who has repented to ALLAH and never commited such mistakes again

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    Re: would a muslim man marry a non-virgin muslim girl?

    Quote Originally Posted by zdc View Post
    Sometimes in life you just gotta be BOLD
    I don't think you caught onto the sarcasm I was displaying.

    Let me spell out what I meant; you come accross as a very insecure man; a coward to be precise.

    Firstly you think by marrying a virgin you will marry someone pious? How will you know she is pious or even a virgin? You'd have had to raise her and watch her every move to know she really is pious and a virgin by giving up on your pious activities. You are not God.
    Secondly you have the audacity to compare a human being to an animal...Bravo. Really, the level of intelligence some men display here astounds me.

    Further more, perhaps investing sometime in education will be a good idea before you get BOLD.
    Last edited by Lightindarkness; 09-02-11 at 12:51 PM.

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    Re: would a muslim man marry a non-virgin muslim girl?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lightindarkness View Post
    I don't think you caught onto the sarcasm I was displaying.

    Let me spell out what I meant; you come accross as a very insecure man; a coward to be precise.

    Firstly you think by marrying a virgin you will marry someone pious? How will you know she is pious or even a virgin? You'd have had to raise her and watch her every move to know she really is pious and a virgin by giving up on your pious activities. You are not God.
    Secondly you have the audacity to compare a human being to an animal...Bravo. Really, the level of intelligence some men display here astounds me.

    Further more, perhaps investing sometime in education will be a good idea before you get BOLD.
    Well there are not guarantees in life, but a little research into family background will hopefully clear that up, our you could just ask. Not exactly rocket science you know. It's just plain simple, pious muslimah's don't sleep around, unless your version of piety is something else. I may not be god but I sure would hate marrying the devil!!

    If you regard wanting a pious, virgin muslimah as being insecure or cowardice then so be it. I know what I regard women who sleep around as...

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    Re: would a muslim man marry a non-virgin muslim girl?

    Quote Originally Posted by zdc View Post
    Well there are not guarantees in life, but a little research into family background will hopefully clear that up, our you could just ask. Not exactly rocket science you know. It's just plain simple, pious muslimah's don't sleep around, unless your version of piety is something else. I may not be god but I sure would hate marrying the devil!!

    If you regard wanting a pious, virgin muslimah as being insecure or cowardice then so be it. I know what I regard women who sleep around as...
    I'm not even going to bother but thought I'd let you know about it as you most likely won't "get it".

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    Re: would a muslim man marry a non-virgin muslim girl?

    Quote Originally Posted by smile6 View Post
    would anyone even consider marrying a non-virigin who has repented to ALLAH and never commited such mistakes again
    I am not a brother so I cannot answer the question, but some brothers do accept non-virgin nonmuslim women. That upsets me b/c they leave all the chaste muslim girls to marry a non-chaste nonmuslim girl, something most I think would never accept from a muslim girl. I am not saying all muslims girls are chaste, but as a whole, it is not as bad as nonmuslim girls.

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    Re: would a muslim man marry a non-virgin muslim girl?

    this thread makes an assumption that all virgins will be chaste and pure and thats why they should be chosen over the non virgins.

    but from school and uni I know LOTS of virgins who didnt absolutely everything under the sun - but just stopped at losing their virginities. I also know some girls who lost their virginity when they were young and naive but today walk around with a niqaab and have zero contact with non mehrams.

    virgin vs non virgin is not as black and white as people think it is.

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    Re: would a muslim man marry a non-virgin muslim girl?

    Quote Originally Posted by Umm_Adam_ View Post
    If A Man Asked Me That, Or Asked My DAughter He Would be Out The Door With A Sore Bum Cause I Kick It

    It Dont Matter If She Is A Virgin Or Not, Its Not The Sin They Make Its How They Repent, The Thing You Should Think About If Does She Pray ?? Does She Cover ?? Does She Fear Allah.

    Also If She Is Divorce Just Asked What Happened.

    Emaan Overrides Virginity Any Day
    I don't think you should get upset at a man for wanting to know whether his future wife is a virgin. I think he should have a right to know that. It does say something about a girl's eman if she broke such a huge rule as premarital sex. Besides, how would he know that she truly repented? And just b/c a girl covers does not automatically mean her eman is strong. If she has a strong eman and is an honest hijabi, she should have never gone that far to make such a huge mistake in the first place. So you think an unchaste hijabi is better than a chaste non-hijabi?

    And for the men, fortunately for them, there is no way to tell whether he is chaste or not so it is hard to compare men and women. That is why they can get away with it. I am not saying it is fair. But when was life fair?

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    Re: would a muslim man marry a non-virgin muslim girl?

    Quote Originally Posted by LondonGal View Post
    this thread makes an assumption that all virgins will be chaste and pure and thats why they should be chosen over the non virgins.

    but from school and uni I know LOTS of virgins who didnt absolutely everything under the sun - but just stopped at losing their virginities. I also know some girls who lost their virginity when they were young and naive but today walk around with a niqaab and have zero contact with non mehrams.

    virgin vs non virgin is not as black and white as people think it is.
    Well said. So some men can never be sure whether their virgin wife is really chaste after all. Well I guess that is what they get for being hypocrites.

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    Re: would a muslim man marry a non-virgin muslim girl?

    Quote Originally Posted by khadijacam View Post
    I am not a brother so I cannot answer the question, but some brothers do accept non-virgin nonmuslim women. That upsets me b/c they leave all the chaste muslim girls to marry a non-chaste nonmuslim girl, something most I think would never accept from a muslim girl. I am not saying all muslims girls are chaste, but as a whole, it is not as bad as nonmuslim girls.
    It's actually non-virgin muslim girls, not non-virgin non-muslim girls. Maybe you just misread the title. No big deal.

    Khair, we don't leave chaste muslim girls for non-chaste non-muslims, maybe for a non-chaste muslim girl. maybe you mistyped that. =/
    But, if a non-virgin muslim girl repents and then sincerely practices Islam and is obedient to Allah, why should she not be given a chance to marry a pious muslim husband?

    Quote Originally Posted by khadijacam View Post
    It does say something about a girl's eman if she broke such a huge rule as premarital sex. Besides, how would he know that she truly repented? And just b/c a girl covers does not automatically mean her eman is strong. If she has a strong eman and is an honest hijabi, she should have never gone that far to make such a huge mistake in the first place. So you think an unchaste hijabi is better than a chaste non-hijabi?
    What would you say if a non-muslim girl who had a bad past but then reverted to Islam, wanted to marry a pious muslim brother? Would that be wrong?

    And for the men, fortunately for them, there is no way to tell whether he is chaste or not so it is hard to compare men and women. That is why they can get away with it. I am not saying it is fair. But when was life fair?
    Any God fearing man won't do something like that. And if he did and repented, then Allah is the Most Merciful.

    Quote Originally Posted by khadijacam View Post
    Well said. So some men can never be sure whether their virgin wife is really chaste after all. Well I guess that is what they get for being hypocrites.
    What do you mean hypocrites?
    If a muslim man doesn't know if his wife is truly chaste or not...that's his fault?
    Call onto Allah, such that you are certain that He, al-Mujib wal-Kareem, will answer your call before you even lower your hands.
    وَقَالَ رَبُّكُمُ ادْعُونِي أَسْتَجِبْ لَكُمْ

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    Re: would a muslim man marry a non-virgin muslim girl?

    as salamu alaikum,

    it's important to realize that questions such as these lead to great fitnah.

    why discuss such impudent matters?


    as salamu alaikum
    There's nothing natural about natural disasters. Think about it...

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    Re: would a muslim man marry a non-virgin muslim girl?

    Quote Originally Posted by LondonGal View Post
    this thread makes an assumption that all virgins will be chaste and pure and thats why they should be chosen over the non virgins.

    but from school and uni I know LOTS of virgins who didnt absolutely everything under the sun - but just stopped at losing their virginities. I also know some girls who lost their virginity when they were young and naive but today walk around with a niqaab and have zero contact with non mehrams.

    virgin vs non virgin is not as black and white as people think it is.
    Quote Originally Posted by khadijacam View Post
    Well said. So some men can never be sure whether their virgin wife is really chaste after all. Well I guess that is what they get for being hypocrites.
    Wow, that's quite a drama and exaggeration. I hope this gross generalization didn't come from someone who is used to filth and wanted to paint others as filthy as her by making up stories and exaggeration. Be careful, cos I've also heard someone who likes to spread lies, false rumors and slander others, in the end it's her son that has been fornicating and killed the baby because of his fornication with a girl.

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    Re: would a muslim man marry a non-virgin muslim girl?

    Quote Originally Posted by .mirror. View Post
    It's actually non-virgin muslim girls, not non-virgin non-muslim girls. Maybe you just misread the title. No big deal.

    Khair, we don't leave chaste muslim girls for non-chaste non-muslims, maybe for a non-chaste muslim girl. maybe you mistyped that. =/
    But, if a non-virgin muslim girl repents and then sincerely practices Islam and is obedient to Allah, why should she not be given a chance to marry a pious muslim husband?



    What would you say if a non-muslim girl who had a bad past but then reverted to Islam, wanted to marry a pious muslim brother? Would that be wrong?



    Any God fearing man won't do something like that. And if he did and repented, then Allah is the Most Merciful.



    What do you mean hypocrites?
    If a muslim man doesn't know if his wife is truly chaste or not...that's his fault?
    I just don't like how sometimes a chaste girl may be passed up for a non-virgin girl. So what if she repented? How about a sister who was strong enough to not do that in the first place? Why should she get less than the girl who repented. And about the scenario with a non-muslim girl who repents and converts to islam, well only they know if their repentance is truly sincere. I just get annoyed with people who do all kinds of nasty things in their past and then one day it is just as if they have never did anything. I don't think they deserve more than people who have been trying to do the right thing for a longer time.

    The hypocrites I was referring to are the men who have messed around before marriage yet expect their wife to be chaste.

    I would prefer a chaste man for marriage and that is why I hate to see men like that (because I believe they are rare) choose a non-virgin girl and leave chaste girls with the other guys. Some people just seem to get away with things more easily and it ****es me off.

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    Re: would a muslim man marry a non-virgin muslim girl?

    See, the thing is...if you sincerely repent and make sure not to repeat the sin again, then Allah will forgive you. So, if Allah can forgive a person, who are we to hold any grudges against them? We are merely humans.

    But, if you think you can't marry someone who has a bad past, then I don't blame you. It's your personal decision. I don't think it'd be a sin if you reject someone with a bad past.

    Now, as for a revert, did you know that any non-muslim that comes to Islam, their past sins are automatically forgiven. So, we don't even need to think whether their repentance was sincere or not, because in this case, they don't even have to repent. They start afresh, and this is a mercy from Allah. Alhamdulillah.

    "How about a sister who was strong enough to not do that in the first place?"
    Some people don't have enough knowledge about the deen, so they engage in all kinds of diff. haram things. But, at least, when they're shown the right path, they repent and follow the true path.

    "I don't think they deserve more than people who have been trying to do the right thing for a longer time."
    What if that person was a non-muslim? Of course, they had no idea what's right and wrong. They weren't even muslim. So, you can't blame them, can you?
    But, when they embraced Islam and they are following the law of Allah, then it's all good. They deserve exactly what a person who's been good all their life deserves.

    The hypocrites I was referring to are the men who have messed around before marriage yet expect their wife to be chaste.
    Ok, I see. Yeah, I heard of that before. Disgusting, I know.

    I would prefer a chaste man for marriage and that is why I hate to see men like that (because I believe they are rare) choose a non-virgin girl and leave chaste girls with the other guys. Some people just seem to get away with things more easily and it ****es me off.
    Don't worry, sis. There are enough good pious Muslims men out there. Plus, you'll only get married to whoever Allah has decided for you. There's no need to feel that other "not-so-good" girls are taking up all the good brothers. Everyone deserves a second chance, so please don't think like that. If they are being married to good pious brothers, then it was written for them and that is what Allah decreed for them. And, whatever Allah wills is the best for everyone.
    Call onto Allah, such that you are certain that He, al-Mujib wal-Kareem, will answer your call before you even lower your hands.
    وَقَالَ رَبُّكُمُ ادْعُونِي أَسْتَجِبْ لَكُمْ

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    Re: would a muslim man marry a non-virgin muslim girl?

    when i got married i was a virgin i also assumed my husband was too. But on our honeymoon he told me he wasn't he lied to me on our wedding night that it was his first time.. But he felt guilty that he lied to me and told me he wasn't.........god how that admittance hurt me even to this day it really hurts. I conjure up in my mind of the women that he was with and how she must have been, being intimate with him makes me feel insecure now. I wish he hadn't told me. If he had told me before marriage i don't think i would have married him, i wanted it to be special in that i had avoided all the pitfalls in this society of being like the majority of the girls. And i really despised all those so called Muslim men and women who would fornicate and have no shame.. We sometimes argue over this point him saying that the pressures of society and living in a western culture makes people do bad things. But then i always say there are some who don't conform to that and have sense and shame and fear of god who avoid all of that. LOL he says its not simple as that...then i begin to resent him when he says things like that.

    Having said all that he is a good husband to me and he has massively changed he is no longer that person he was when he did those things. I just wish he never told me in a way.

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    Re: would a muslim man marry a non-virgin muslim girl?

    ↑He shouldn't be exposing his sins.

    May Allah forgive him.
    Call onto Allah, such that you are certain that He, al-Mujib wal-Kareem, will answer your call before you even lower your hands.
    وَقَالَ رَبُّكُمُ ادْعُونِي أَسْتَجِبْ لَكُمْ

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    Re: would a muslim man marry a non-virgin muslim girl?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ibadah View Post
    Lol this thread again, subhanAllah, yes a man/woman has a right to want a virgin and it is his/her right to want to know if the other person is a virgin or not. It just depends how he/she goes about it when asking, again he/she has the right and should expect one if thats what they seek.

    Easy route is, Ive repented and its between me and Allah (swt) which is right, but doesnt change the fact that youve done the deed, now thats the whole point for people wanting to know. They want to be the first man/woman to share this special bond with and not know someone else might of had that experience, if it comes out later, auzibillah, just be honest if the q comes up, simple.

    Again if you want to ask, please say it in a way where she/he doesnt need to actually reveal it.

    To that q, i wouldnt only cause i want/expect pure as i kept pure and wouldnt want to think of someone else who had touched my future wife, thats just cause i have alot of gheerah alhumdulilah. Only the pure ones have the right to demand
    Surah 53. An-Najm, Ayah 32
    Those who avoid enormities of sin and abominations, save the unwilled offences (for them) lo! thy Lord is of vast mercy. He is best aware of you (from the time) when He created you from the earth, and when ye were hidden in the bellies of your mothers. Therefor ascribe not purity unto yourselves. He is best aware of him who wardeth off (evil).

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    Re: would a muslim man marry a non-virgin muslim girl?

    Asalamu-Alikum

    Well it was a long and interesting thread, I personally inshallah will follow the guidance of Muhammed SAW and look for a virgin wife to play with and will be straight forward with the potential wifey with Q/A session if her parents will allow me to speak to her or even see her, the parents would definately kick me out of the house if i ask them the question infront of them.

    What I have learnt is if virginity is important then you should ask the potential spouse and if doesnt matter then never bring up the past as this would seriously mess up the relationship according to the unfortunate stories in this thread.

    Its only fair that a virgin man marries a virgin woman.

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    Re: would a muslim man marry a non-virgin muslim girl?

    This thread ended on post #2. That's what muslim women due mashallah

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    Re: would a muslim man marry a non-virgin muslim girl?

    Is it permissible for one who has committed zina (fornication or adultery) to get married after he or she has repented?

    I am a muslim that converted about three years ago. I am still learning and I have a question. I have been told that if I had sex after I converted I would not be able to islamically get married under the ways of islam. I wanted to know if this is true and if it is, is there any way to correct the deed that I am so very sorry for.


    Praise be to Allaah.

    The one who has committed zina (fornication or adultery) has to repent, because zina is one of the major sins which are forbidden in Islam and for which a stern warning is issued to the one who does them. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “And those who invoke not any other ilaah (god) along with Allaah, nor kill such person as Allaah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse and whoever does this shall receive the punishment.

    The torment will be doubled to him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace”

    [al-Furqaan 25:68-69]

    The punishment must be carried out in this world on the one who has committed zina (fornication or adultery), as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “The fornicatress and the fornicator, flog each of them with a hundred stripes. Let not pity withhold you in their case, in a punishment prescribed by Allaah, if you believe in Allaah and the Last Day. And let a party of the believers witness their punishment”

    [al-Noor 24:2]

    It was narrated in a hadeeth from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “Receive (teaching) from me, receive (teaching) from me. Allaah has ordained a way for those (women). When an unmarried male commits adultery with an unmarried female, (they should receive) one hundred lashes and banishment for one year. And in the case of a married male committing adultery with a married female, they shall receive one hundred lashes and be stoned to death.”

    (Narrated by Muslim, al-Hudood, 3199).

    Allaah has forbidden the believers to marry a person who commits zina, whether man or woman. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “The adulterer — fornicator marries not but an adulteress — fornicatress or a Mushrikah; and the adulteress –fornicatress, none marries her except an adulterer — fornicater or a Mushrik [and that means that the man who agrees to marry (have a sexual relation with) a Mushrikah (female polytheist, pagan or idolatress) or a prostitute, then surely, he is either an adulterer — fornicator, or a Mushrik (polytheist, pagan or idolater). And the woman who agrees to marry (have a sexual relation with) a Mushrik (polytheist, pagan or idolater) or an adulterer — fornicator, then she is either a prostitute or a Mushrikah (female polytheist, pagan, or idolatress)]. Such a thing is forbidden to the believers (of Islamic Monotheism)”

    [al-Noor 24:3]

    If the one who has committed zina repents to Allaah, truly and sincerely, then Allaah will forgive him or her, and overlook the sin. Allaah says, after mentioning the warning to those who commit zina:

    “Except those who repent and believe (in Islamic Monotheism), and do righteous deeds; for those, Allaah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allaah is Oft Forgiving, Most Merciful.

    And whosoever repents and does righteous good deeds; then verily, he repents towards Allaah with true repentance”

    [al-Furqaan 25:70-71 – interpretation of the meaning]

    If the person repents sincerely, then it becomes permissible for him or her to get married, after they give up this sin.

    Shaykh Muhammad ibn Ibraaheem was asked about the ruling on getting married to a woman who has committed zina. He said: “it is not permissible to marry the woman who has committed adultery until she repents… if a man wants to marry her, he has to be sure that she is not pregnant, by waiting until she has a period before he does the marriage contract with her. If she is pregnant, then it is not permissible for him to marry her until she has given birth.”

    See al-Fataawa al-Jaami’ah li’l-Mar’ah al-Muslimah, 2/584


    Islam Q&A
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    Re: would a muslim man marry a non-virgin muslim girl?

    Quote Originally Posted by smile6 View Post
    Thank you. Its just makes me wonder why some men are so judgmental, being a non -virgin does not mean you were a hooker or a whore. Theres a story behind everything, and it really sucks that the man who ruined the womens life can be an angel after everything and the women becomes a whore. Lifes complicated and not many people out there are understanding.
    Follow your Heart , REAL LOVE is hard to find, Some people marry for the wrong reasons due to what others will think about them, The truth is , The day you find someone you Love and who Respects you and shows you true Moral values and does what her Responsibilities are , You have a Keeper... Life is a TEST and you never know if Allah put her in your path to see what you would do. Towards the end of your last breath, ONLY Allah will Judge you and nobody else. We must practice what we preech and wash away all past sins for a Stronger FamilyHood ,, God Bless

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    Re: would a muslim man marry a non-virgin muslim girl?

    Sahih Muslim, Volume 7, Book 62, Number 17:

    Narrated Jabir bin 'Abdullah:

    When I got married, Allah's Apostle said to me, "What type of lady have you married?" I replied, "I have married a matron' He said, "Why, don't you have a liking for the virgins and for fondling them?" Jabir also said: Allah's Apostle said, "Why didn't you marry a young girl so that you might play with her and she with you?'

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    Re: would a muslim man marry a non-virgin muslim girl?

    Quote Originally Posted by deen1984 View Post
    Sahih Muslim, Volume 7, Book 62, Number 17:

    Narrated Jabir bin 'Abdullah:

    When I got married, Allah's Apostle said to me, "What type of lady have you married?" I replied, "I have married a matron' He said, "Why, don't you have a liking for the virgins and for fondling them?" Jabir also said: Allah's Apostle said, "Why didn't you marry a young girl so that you might play with her and she with you?'
    and then that sahabi replied that he has a family to take care of and therefore needs a woman who can handle responsibility, to which the prophet pbuh agreed.
    And the (faithful) slaves of the Most Gracious (Allâh) are those who walk on the earth in humility and sedateness, and when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with mild words of gentleness. (25:63)

    O You who believe! Shall I guide you to a trade that will save you from a painful torment? (10) That you believe in Allâh and His Messenger (Muhammad SAW),and that you strive hard and fight in the Cause of Allâh with your wealth and your lives, that will be better for you, if you but know! (11) (If you do so) He will forgive you your sins, and admit you into Gardens under which rivers flow, and pleasant dwellings in Adn (Edn) Paradise; that is indeed the great success. (12)

    JazakAllah khair for the duas but i would prefer duas for shahadah instead.

    sponsor an orphan

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    Re: would a muslim man marry a non-virgin muslim girl?

    Quote Originally Posted by uncle umar View Post
    and then that sahabi replied that he has a family to take care of and therefore needs a woman who can handle responsibility, to which the prophet pbuh agreed.
    Interesting. I wasnt aware of that.

    What's more interesting is how often that part is omitted. But then again, thats what happens when a layman attempts to quote or explain a hadith.

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    Re: would a muslim man marry a non-virgin muslim girl?

    Quote Originally Posted by uncle umar View Post
    and then that sahabi replied that he has a family to take care of and therefore needs a woman who can handle responsibility, to which the prophet pbuh agreed.
    Yes but the main point of the ahadith was, why not marry a "virgin", if this wasnt important, then nabi (saw) wouldnt of raised it. Plus he had a very good reason in not marrying a virgin, not everyone has a "family to take care off". Rather it makes sense to marry a virgin, so it would be a new expierence for both, no comparing, you waited for her, she waited for you etc etc but off course the guy/girl should be pious also
    Last edited by Ibadah; 01-03-12 at 05:29 PM.
    Allahumma Insur Al-Islam Wal-Muslimeen

    Ahasiban naasu ay yutrakoo ay yaqooloo aamannaa wa hum laa yuftanoon. (Do men imagine that they will be left (at ease) because they say, We believe, and will not be tested with affliction? Surah 29 (2)

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    Re: would a muslim man marry a non-virgin muslim girl?

    Just talked with my my mum about this and she said if the spouses' parents asks about me having a relationships oustide of marraige she would leave as she will see this as an insult. In our culture we dont ask the family about the potential spouses' history becuase they wont tell the truth if they child has been naughty, so you have to do your own reasearch ask the potential spouse family friends and neighbours about the spouses character. I guess the only thing we can really rely on is Istikhara.

    I admit our destiny is written but at the end of the day it is us who make the choice.

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    Re: would a muslim man marry a non-virgin muslim girl?

    deja vu

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    Re: would a muslim man marry a non-virgin muslim girl?

    I think the married brothers should comment on this one.

    As for me, then I wouldn't have considered my wife if I knew that were the case. Even if she had repented. I would have backed out. That's just me and my preference. Had I found out otherwise after the nikkah...(i.e, she wasn't a virgin), then I would have divorced her. But again, that's just me.

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    Re: would a muslim man marry a non-virgin muslim girl?

    Quote Originally Posted by smile6 View Post
    would anyone even consider marrying a non-virigin who has repented to ALLAH and never commited such mistakes again
    If she has taqwa why not?

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    Re: would a muslim man marry a non-virgin muslim girl?

    Salaam

    During the Caliphate of Umar (RA), a man came to him and asked 'My daughter had previously commited fornication, but has no repented; should I tell her future prospector's of her misdeed?'

    Umar (RA) said 'If you do so, I will whip you'

    The point being, that if a girl has commited fornicatioon but repented, it is perfectly permissible for her to tell her future spouse that she is a virgin. With regards to any doubts that arise in his mind due to lack of bleeding upon consumation, you may tell him the well known fact that not all women bleed upon consummation; in fact, the bleeding occurs due to the ripping of the hymen which can happen just from riding a bike or even gymnastics, the use of tampons, etc

    Therefore, I advise all my Muslims sisters in today's society, to consider the above (if they have commited the sin of fornication) and are yet unmarried


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    Re: would a muslim man marry a non-virgin muslim girl?

    Quote Originally Posted by ahmad12 View Post
    Salaam

    During the Caliphate of Umar (RA), a man came to him and asked 'My daughter had previously commited fornication, but has no repented; should I tell her future prospector's of her misdeed?'

    Umar (RA) said 'If you do so, I will whip you'

    The point being, that if a girl has commited fornicatioon but repented, it is perfectly permissible for her to tell her future spouse that she is a virgin. With regards to any doubts that arise in his mind due to lack of bleeding upon consumation, you may tell him the well known fact that not all women bleed upon consummation; in fact, the bleeding occurs due to the ripping of the hymen which can happen just from riding a bike or even gymnastics, the use of tampons, etc

    Therefore, I advise all my Muslims sisters in today's society, to consider the above (if they have commited the sin of fornication) and are yet unmarried

    Show me the proof and the source from which you have taken this above paragraphs .

    Its funny how people bombard those people with all the religious and moral texts to those who want to seek a virgin spouse , assuming they are virgin themselves .

    Sorry , brothers have a right to a virgin spouse and i will also stress on them that if their prospective partner is answering the question by twisting words or talking in a vague manner .

    You must realiZe that she is hiding something . Better to walk away .
    Last edited by Hudson; 02-03-12 at 07:41 AM.

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    Re: would a muslim man marry a non-virgin muslim girl?

    Quote Originally Posted by Hudson View Post
    Show me the proof and the source from which you have taken this above paragraphs .

    Its funny how people bombard those people with all the religious and moral texts to those who want to seek a virgin spouse , assuming they are virgin themselves .

    Sorry , brothers have a right to a virgin spouse and i will also stress on them that if their prospective partner is answering the question by twisting words or talking in a vague manner .

    You must realiZe that she is hiding something . Better to walk away .
    Salaam

    The source is Mahd As-Sawab 2/709. I paraphrased the above narration but please feel free to see if there is any intellectual dishonesty with my narration of it. The narration can also be read in the famous biography of Umar (RA) written by Shaykh As-Sallaby, widely available in English

    And there is the basic principle of 'concealing what Allah has concealed' which is why you can ask any scholar and he will tell you the same thing- there is no need for anyone to disclose any previous sin whatsoever as long as they make repentance privately.

    And in a society where it is difficult to find a pious man for marriage, it would harm the chances of any non virgin girl to disclose past indiscretions unneccessarily. If she has repented and turned to Islam, none of us has the right to judge her.

    Of course a man may choose a virgin wife he wishes; there is nothing stopping him. But a man/woman may also hide the fact that they committed a sin too. Just because you don't like the fact a woman may hide her sin, doesn't mean its wrong for her to do so


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    Re: would a muslim man marry a non-virgin muslim girl?

    Quote Originally Posted by uncle umar View Post
    and then that sahabi replied that he has a family to take care of and therefore needs a woman who can handle responsibility, to which the prophet pbuh agreed.
    yes. but no man wants damaged goods, especially if he himself is chaste.

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    Re: would a muslim man marry a non-virgin muslim girl?

    Quote Originally Posted by deen1984 View Post
    yes. but no man wants damaged goods, especially if he himself is chaste.

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    Re: would a muslim man marry a non-virgin muslim girl?

    Men should try and find virgin brides .




    Narrated 'Aisha (ra) :

    I said, "O Allah's Apostle! Suppose you landed in a valley where there is a tree of which something has been eaten and then you found trees of which nothing has been eaten, of which tree would you let your camel graze?"
    He said, "(I will let my camel graze) of the one of which nothing has been eaten before."
    (The sub-narrator added: 'Aisha meant that Allah's Apostle had not married a virgin besides herself.)

    [sahih al-bukhari volume 7, book 62, number 14]



    There are many hadith which recommend a man marry a virgin woman such as the following:

    "Tazawwajoo al-abkaara fa innahunna a'dhabu afwaahan wa antaqu arhaaman wa ardhaa bil-yaseeri."
    "Marry virgins for they have sweeter mouths, more productive wombs and are more pleased with less."* At-Tabaraani and it is hassan

    Other narrations indicate that she is more likely to be pleased by a man and less likely to be devious and deceiving.* Once, when Jaabir married an older and previously married woman, the Prophet (sas) said to him:

    "Halaa bikran tulaai'buhaa wa tulaa'ibuka."
    "Why not a virgin?* You could have played with her and she with you."

    The scholars have stressed that this good attribute applies to the husband just as it applies to the wife.* One of them wrote:* "Similarly, it is preferred for a person not to marry his daughter except to a virgin man if she has never been married before."* Umar ibn Al-Khattab once heard about a woman who was married to an elderly man and he said:* "O people, fear Allah and marry a man to a woman who is similar to him and marry a woman to a man who is similar to her."


    A sage has said, 'Men who marry women get four sorts of wife: (i) the wife who belongs wholly to her husband; (ii) the wife who belongs half to her husband; (iii) the wife who belongs one-third to her husband; (iv) the wife who is her husband's enemy. The wife who belongs wholly to her husband will be a woman who is a virgin. The wife who belongs half to her husband will be [a woman whose former husband has died but has no children]. [29] The wife who belongs one-third to her husband will be a woman whose former husband has died but who has children by the first husband. The wife who is her husband's enemy will be a (divorced) woman whose former husband is still living. Therefore the best wives are virgins.
    Last edited by Hudson; 02-03-12 at 10:56 AM.

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    Re: would a muslim man marry a non-virgin muslim girl?

    Quote Originally Posted by deen1984 View Post
    yes. but no man wants damaged goods, especially if he himself is chaste.
    You do realize that someone can be chaste, but not a virgin.

    If you want to marry a virgin, then that is simply your prerogative. But to call your sisters in Islam damaged goods if just because they are not virgins, I'm assuming you mean the ones who committed sins and not divorcees or widows, is simply harsh and shows your lack of adab. We do not call our brothers and sisters damaged good. If you want a virgin simply state it and leave it at that. Please make tawbah and refrain from using words like that.
    فباي الاء ربكما تكذبان

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    Re: would a muslim man marry a non-virgin muslim girl?

    Damaged goods?

    Reduced your sisters in Islam to property, that too damaged.

    So almost all the wives of the prophet SAW were damaged goods?

    May Allah grant us understanding and have mercy on us.
    Call onto Allah, such that you are certain that He, al-Mujib wal-Kareem, will answer your call before you even lower your hands.
    وَقَالَ رَبُّكُمُ ادْعُونِي أَسْتَجِبْ لَكُمْ

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    Re: would a muslim man marry a non-virgin muslim girl?

    Quote Originally Posted by .mirror. View Post
    Damaged goods?

    Reduced your sisters in Islam to property, that too damaged.

    So almost all the wives of the prophet SAW were damaged goods?

    May Allah grant us understanding and have mercy on us.

    I think he meant women who committed zina . Obviously not widows and divorcees

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    Re: would a muslim man marry a non-virgin muslim girl?

    Brother, you don't reduce a human to goods. It's just wrong In itself. Khair.
    Call onto Allah, such that you are certain that He, al-Mujib wal-Kareem, will answer your call before you even lower your hands.
    وَقَالَ رَبُّكُمُ ادْعُونِي أَسْتَجِبْ لَكُمْ

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    Re: would a muslim man marry a non-virgin muslim girl?

    wow such immature comments. Brothers if you seek a virgin, you better be a virgin yourself
    damage goods is only for women according to some? if you think such thing as "damage goods" exist then it's for BOTH men and women, but al hamdoulillah we're not objects, so such thing doesnt exist, except in the mind of certain sick men. It's funny how women don't think that way.. wonder why .
    And oh virgin women don't want men who are like " let me have my fun and then i'll settle down with a pious virgin" sorry but virgins arent objects ok.
    this forum is hilarious sometimes

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    Re: would a muslim man marry a non-virgin muslim girl?

    Quote Originally Posted by anonymous_mehip View Post
    . Brothers if you seek a virgin, you better be a virgin yourself
    damage goods is only for women according to some? if you think such thing as "damage goods" exist then it's for BOTH men and women
    And oh virgin women don't want men who are like" let me have my fun and then i'll settle down with a pious virgin" .

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    Re: would a muslim man marry a non-virgin muslim girl?

    This slander of non virgins must stop. There are women who are divorcees and widows aren't there who are chaste. And even if the woman committed zina if she repented and didn't return to that calling her damaged good is unacceptable.

    You know it is funny how a lot of Muslim men sleep around prior to getting married and then demand a virgin when getting married. There is such a double standard among the Muslim ummah when it comes to issues like this.
    Say, O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.”
    (Surah Az Zumar, (Chapter 39: Verse 53)


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