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Ummah Forum (Brothers) Qur'aan Recitation Competition #2
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Right so...i just found out that the strongest opinion for having the walima is after consumation of the marriage...for me this begs a question
Iam still relatively young () and my parents are taking care of most of the weddingish issues....how on earth am i going to tell them when we should have the walima
For me this seems extremly embarassing!
wa alaykumus salaam
Sunnah not obligatory:
[excerpt of a fatwa relating to marriage]
In the name of Allah, Most Gracious Most Merciful.
11. It is then sunna the next day or the day after once the couple have consummated their marriage or entered into privacy together
to provide a walima reception. This is provided by the groom and his family and is not a responsibility of the bride. The Messenger of Allah (upon him be peace) provided walima after many of his marriages by feeding the people a goat. Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) relates that the Messenger of Allah (upon him be peace) provided a walima on the occasion of the consummation of his marriage with Zaynab bint Jahsh. He provided meat and bread to the fill off his guests (Bukhari). On the occasion of his marriage to Safiyya bint Huyay ibn Akhtab he even had what may be considered a "pot luck" nowadays in North America where each person brought what he had and they sat down together and ate it (Bukhari and Muslim).
12. Some masjids and imams have the legal capacity to solemnize a marriage which is then recognized by the state, county or local council. This is extremely beneficial as it does not entail re-performing the marriage again in a civil ceremony.
May Allah grant us the ability to simplify what Allah and His Messenger instructed to be simple and grant us blessing in it.
Abdurrahman ibn Yusuf Mangera
alfi salella alel madani
- Rep Power
You should not think in extending the walimah, but think of consummating the marriage.We certainly think of many ideas then ultimately it is shaitaan which puts thoughts in our mind to prolong it or rather not let it happen.
You can keep walimah after one day gap in between the nikah and walimah.Just a piece of small advice, when you think of doing something good and you see it is good.Then don't prolong it, but do it.
صلى الله على حبيبه محمد و على آله و أصحابه و سلم
Normally keep 2-3 days between nikaah and waleema. Therefore you should have time to get comfortable with each other and consummate. But consummation is not obligatory for the waleema to be held.
"Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodes"
- Rep Power
This is probably slightly off topic lol but i heard somewhere that if you don't consumate your marriage before the walima then it's not considered to be valid? So what does that mean for the couples who have had their wedding and walima in one day together? Does that mean it's not valid?
Whoever told you that is incorrect.
Originally Posted by Ani_19
As far as I'm concerned, it is definitely not required.
What you have heard - that it is obligatory to have intercourse on the first night of marriage - is not correct at all. Not having intercourse on that night is not a sin, and does not prevent one from celebrating the waleemah (wedding feast). Whatever happens between the two partners on their wedding night is their concern alone, and they know best what will suit their own personalities. This is a good opportunity to remind Muslim men and women of the importance of verifying whatever they hear, and to warn them not to accept Islamic rulings from people who are not qualified to give them. We ask Allaah to help us learn that which will benefit us, and to benefit us from that which we learn
If a man executes a valid marriage contract with a woman then it is permissible for the two to do as they please between themselves, even with only the contract. There is no period prescribed by Islamic shari'ah between the contract and consummation of the marriage, so this issue is up to the two partners as to what they decide is most appropriate and in their best interests.
It is incumbent upon both parties to consider, respect, and ensure the other one's personal comfort and ease. Thus, if the husband sees that the wife needs some time to become acclimated and develop their relationship and level of intimacy before consummation, such as 3 months, for example, he should do so, and vice versa. Likewise, it is incumbent upon the wife if she sees that her husband feels an urgent need to guard his chastity by consummating the marriage that she should not prolong the period so that he does not fall into a state of awkward discomfort and difficulty, and vice versa.
If it was a Sunnah, at least they would've mentioned it somewhere.
People think of walima as a big Issue, it is only food, it doesn't have anything to do with consummating, you could even not hold one.
normally the walimah is held one week later anyway? and once you married you will feel different about this stuff,
Recipes for all the family
(and you thought I was a lazy feminazi which can't cook?)
can't say more on the matter than the above. Walima is just an after wedding event, thats it. nothing more.
Originally Posted by Abu Jaffar
From brother Pearl44uk.
Allah Hu Akbar