First of all I am not trying to make polygamy Fardh upon everyone, that isnt in my power to do so, nor am I saying that monogomous marriages are not as good as polygamous ones.
But there are advantages in polygamy, and for those that want it or already have it, it should be something good, that they are happy with.
Those that dont want it, no pressure, well not from me anyway.
- Polygamy allows more women to have a husband, and not left being single.
- There are no mistresses, the 2nd, 3rd or 4th wives have the same rights as the first wife and not left to be mis-treated and abandoned as mistresses are.
- If there are more than 2 wives, then in the husbands absence, the wives can help each other out with household duties and taking care of children.
- If a man has 4 wives, then when he is with one of his wives, the rest can do things which men are stereotyped as hating, such as going shopping, the hairdresser and other girly things.
- One wife can babysit another wifes child.
- If there are times when your husband is annoying you, you can always tell him to go away, and at least you will know where hes gone and that he will come.
- you can be like one very big family.
Take the example of our Prophet saw, both Aisha ra and Hafsa ra were very good friends, almost like sisters.
Although this advice, from me an unmarried girl, may seem easy to say. It is for those that want polyamy, so obviously its essential that they look on the bright side.
Back in the days, when polyamy was a norm unlike in todays society, it was much easier for women to accept mentally as they grew up in and around that idea. Also, if a woman that is marrying a man knows in advance that he will want another wife after marrying her then it makes it much easier for the woman to accept, because its almost as though she has entered a polygamous marriage. Unlike those sisters that get married believing that he will want monogamy and then getting a huge shock after marriage.
In the example of our Prphet Muhammad pbuh, whilst married to Khadeeja ra, he never got another wife.
It was only after her death, and then he married 2 women, Sawda [ra] and Aisha [ra]. And even that was through both Allahs will and with the suggestion of a female companion named Khawla bint Hakeem [ra].
After the death of Khadeeja [ra] Prophet Muhammad [saw] was very upset and heartbroken. Khawla saw signs of deep sorrow in the face of Muhammad [saw] and she approached him saying; " Messenger of Allah, it seems you have been afflicted by want since the death of Khadeeja."
The Prophet [saw] replied; "Yes, she was the mother of the household and the caretaker of the family."
Then Khawla suggested Sawda and Aisha as wives.
He married Sawda [ra] who had been previously married and was an experienced woman who could take care of the Prophets [saw] family and cater for the household. He married Aisha [ra] who could mend his broken heart from the death of Khadeeja [ra], as Aisha was young.
But only Sawda [ra] entered the household of our Prophet [saw] at that time and Aisha [ra] was only engaged at that time and entered the household later.
The wives that later married our Prophet [saw] married into a polygamous marriage.
So in that manner, for todays society, if a woman is entering into a marriage knowing it is or will become polygamous then it is much easier to accept it than when it suddenly happens.
I am not stating a fatwa here, but saying that which seems common sense. I am not saying that a man MUST [by Islam] scream out he wants polygamy before marrying his first wife, but if he mentioned it to her. In this day, age and SOCIETY where it isnt considered normal, then perhaps it would make things much easier for him and his wives, InshaAllah.
Perhaps I have gone somewhat off topic here, on my own topic
And Allah knows best.