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  1. #1
    Senior Member DarkChocolate's Avatar
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    The Advantages of a Polygamous marriage.

    Salam.

    First of all I am not trying to make polygamy Fardh upon everyone, that isnt in my power to do so, nor am I saying that monogomous marriages are not as good as polygamous ones.
    But there are advantages in polygamy, and for those that want it or already have it, it should be something good, that they are happy with.
    Those that dont want it, no pressure, well not from me anyway.

    - Polygamy allows more women to have a husband, and not left being single.
    - There are no mistresses, the 2nd, 3rd or 4th wives have the same rights as the first wife and not left to be mis-treated and abandoned as mistresses are.


    - If there are more than 2 wives, then in the husbands absence, the wives can help each other out with household duties and taking care of children.
    - If a man has 4 wives, then when he is with one of his wives, the rest can do things which men are stereotyped as hating, such as going shopping, the hairdresser and other girly things.

    - One wife can babysit another wifes child.
    - If there are times when your husband is annoying you, you can always tell him to go away, and at least you will know where hes gone and that he will come.

    - you can be like one very big family.

    Take the example of our Prophet saw, both Aisha ra and Hafsa ra were very good friends, almost like sisters.

    Although this advice, from me an unmarried girl, may seem easy to say. It is for those that want polyamy, so obviously its essential that they look on the bright side.

    Back in the days, when polyamy was a norm unlike in todays society, it was much easier for women to accept mentally as they grew up in and around that idea. Also, if a woman that is marrying a man knows in advance that he will want another wife after marrying her then it makes it much easier for the woman to accept, because its almost as though she has entered a polygamous marriage. Unlike those sisters that get married believing that he will want monogamy and then getting a huge shock after marriage.

    In the example of our Prphet Muhammad pbuh, whilst married to Khadeeja ra, he never got another wife.
    It was only after her death, and then he married 2 women, Sawda [ra] and Aisha [ra]. And even that was through both Allahs will and with the suggestion of a female companion named Khawla bint Hakeem [ra].

    After the death of Khadeeja [ra] Prophet Muhammad [saw] was very upset and heartbroken. Khawla saw signs of deep sorrow in the face of Muhammad [saw] and she approached him saying; " Messenger of Allah, it seems you have been afflicted by want since the death of Khadeeja."
    The Prophet [saw] replied; "Yes, she was the mother of the household and the caretaker of the family."

    Then Khawla suggested Sawda and Aisha as wives.
    He married Sawda [ra] who had been previously married and was an experienced woman who could take care of the Prophets [saw] family and cater for the household. He married Aisha [ra] who could mend his broken heart from the death of Khadeeja [ra], as Aisha was young.
    But only Sawda [ra] entered the household of our Prophet [saw] at that time and Aisha [ra] was only engaged at that time and entered the household later.

    The wives that later married our Prophet [saw] married into a polygamous marriage.


    So in that manner, for todays society, if a woman is entering into a marriage knowing it is or will become polygamous then it is much easier to accept it than when it suddenly happens.

    I am not stating a fatwa here, but saying that which seems common sense. I am not saying that a man MUST [by Islam] scream out he wants polygamy before marrying his first wife, but if he mentioned it to her. In this day, age and SOCIETY where it isnt considered normal, then perhaps it would make things much easier for him and his wives, InshaAllah.

    Perhaps I have gone somewhat off topic here, on my own topic

    And Allah knows best.
    Last edited by DarkChocolate; 24-08-10 at 11:52 PM.
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  2. #2
    .dum.vita.est.spes.est. Pippin1376's Avatar
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    Re: The Advantages of a Polygamous marriage.

    I agree that if the husband explains it to his wife, she'll be more understand and probably help him search for a second/third/fourth wife with him, but if he springs it on her without talking about it. Then it will only cause problems.

    Polygamy is a good thing, alhamdulillah, but I think at this time it's more important to get the single folk married before multiple wives comes into the picture.
    "...And never give up hope of Allah's Soothing Mercy: truly no one despairs of Allah's Soothing Mercy, except those who have no faith."

    Surah Yusuf
    [12:87]

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    Re: The Advantages of a Polygamous marriage.

    Salam
    You know this is so cool, i didnt know so many people were supportive of the idea of polygamy in Islam. Its not very common from my understanding. Ive come across 3 threads on polygamy so far and it has stimulated much thought about this topic. This forum seems to be veeery interesting so far...

  4. #4
    أبحث مفتاح الدار السلام ibnuadam's Avatar
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    Re: The Advantages of a Polygamous marriage.

    Quote Originally Posted by DarkChocolate View Post
    Then Khawla suggested Sawda and Aisha as wives.
    if i'm not mistaken, rasool-Allaah's () marriage to Aishah (RA) was prophesized by Allaah (), not as you mentioned above

    as for the topic, try reading this :

  5. #5
    Senior Member DarkChocolate's Avatar
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    Re: The Advantages of a Polygamous marriage.

    Quote Originally Posted by ibnuadam View Post
    if i'm not mistaken, rasool-Allaah's () marriage to Aishah (RA) was prophesized by Allaah (), not as you mentioned above
    yes that as well as it being suggested by Khawla, sorry forgot to mention that bit.

    Prophet Muhammad [pbuh] saw in a dream that an angel brought Aisha to him wrapped in a green silken cloth saying that this is your wife both in this world and in jannah.

    May Allah forgive me if I have worded it wrong in any way.

    And Allah knows best.
    Allah is compassionate and He loves compassion in all things. [Hadith]

  6. #6
    لا إله إلا الله محمد رسول
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    Re: The Advantages of a Polygamous marriage.

    in this day and age, it is hard to find a single wife and u talk abt polygamy :P

  7. #7
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    Re: The Advantages of a Polygamous marriage.

    Advantages of polygany from psychological point of view. Pretty good read. Good logic

    on Psychology Today magazine by Satoshi Kanazawa titled "The paradox of polygamy II: Why most women benefit from polygamy and most men benefit from monogamy"

    http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-scientific-fundamentalist/200802/the-paradox-polygamy-ii-why-most-women-benefit-polygamy-an

    Contrary to popular belief, most women benefit from polygynous society, and most men benefit from monogamous society. This is because polygynous society allows some women to share a resourceful man of high status.
    “Would you rather be the second or third wife of Mel Gibson or the only wife of Willard Scott?”, to which one of the panelists, the conservative commentator and activist Susan Carpenter McMillan, responded, “If it comes to Mel Gibson, I wouldn’t care if I was one, two, or three.”
    In contrast, most men benefit from monogamous society. Given a 50-50 sex ratio, monogamous society virtually guarantees a wife for every man, even a third-rate one. Under polygyny, some third-rate men may not find a wife at all, or, even if they are lucky enough to find one, their wife will not be as desirable as the one they can secure for themselves under monogamy, because under polygyny more desirable women would have become the second, third, or tenth wife of more desirable men.

  8. #8
    ~ Allahu Akbar ~ dhak1yya's Avatar
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    Re: The Advantages of a Polygamous marriage.

    kya I so agree with you! Especially the bit about Mel Gibson (not that I'd want to marry him personally!!! but that lots of non Muslim women would be queuing up to be one of his wives and wouldn't care too much about the others)

    Anyway here are the advantages for me MASHAALLAH!!!!!!!:

    - I get more time for my own endeavours such as studying, hobbies, that kind of thing. I do creative writing which is a solitary pursuit and one where you block out the rest of the world. If my kids are in bed and my husband is with my co-wife then that gives me a lot of alone time to do this (i.e. every other evening), whereas if I was monogamously married my husband would need my attention and I wouldn't get this time.

    - I get the best of the single life and the married life, I get a husband and I also get a king sized bed to myself to relax with a good book (on alternate nights)

    - there's no "not tonight darling I have a headache" - women initiate it more often in polygamous marriages and he can't refuse otherwise he shouldn't have taken on two wives, but you can send him to the other wife if you're not in the mood

    - sharing motherly duties with my co-wife, e.g. breastfeeding each others babies. It makes a huge difference, if one of us has a bad night when the baby won't sleep the other can take the baby for a while in the morning while you takes a nap. Husbands can do this to some extent but a) they can't breastfeed and b) they have to go to work most days.

    - big family atmosphere at home (we were living in separate accommodation but recently moved into the same apartment which means more husband time for both of us and more family time for us and the kids)

    - free Arabic lessons (okay this applies just to me, not generally!) My co-wife is teaching me lots of Arabic mashaAllah, I told her to only speak to me in Arabic

    - another woman to chat with and stuff at home when hubby's not around, which is a lot of time cause he's at work of course.

    ------------

    there's probably more but that's what I can think of right now. Anyway, I just would like to encourage more people to see polygamy in a more favourable light, and for more brothers to realise that the way to make it work is to treat both your wives properly including being honest about your intentions to marry again before you even marry your first wife.





  9. #9
    umm sumaiya naila-k's Avatar
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    Re: The Advantages of a Polygamous marriage.

    advantage: being able to pop to shop without getting all kids ready and taking 2 hours and having them cry they wanna go park etc (obv only applies if live 2gether or next door)

    Recipes for all the family
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  10. #10
    ~ Allahu Akbar ~ dhak1yya's Avatar
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    Re: The Advantages of a Polygamous marriage.

    Quote Originally Posted by naila-k View Post
    advantage: being able to pop to shop without getting all kids ready and taking 2 hours and having them cry they wanna go park etc (obv only applies if live 2gether or next door)
    yeah, totally! didn't even think of that one mashaAllah.... seems I'm taking some things for granted





  11. #11
    Senior Member kiduka's Avatar
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    Re: The Advantages of a Polygamous marriage.

    Ok I have a few questions:

    Doesn't Polygomy put the husband and his wives at higher risk of getting STI's (sexual transmitted infections)?

    And how do sisters go about avoiding something like this?

  12. #12
    umm sumaiya naila-k's Avatar
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    Re: The Advantages of a Polygamous marriage.

    erm? the same way those in monogamous marriage go about it!

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  13. #13
    ~ Allahu Akbar ~ dhak1yya's Avatar
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    Re: The Advantages of a Polygamous marriage.

    Quote Originally Posted by kiduka View Post
    Ok I have a few questions:

    Doesn't Polygomy put the husband and his wives at higher risk of getting STI's (sexual transmitted infections)?

    And how do sisters go about avoiding something like this?
    why would it, if all those in the marriage are practicing Muslims? Having more than one partner doesn't increase the risk of getting STDs if all the partners don't have STDs to begin with. Polygamy is not promiscuity, he is still in committed relationships, just he has two, three or four committed relationships not just one.

    If one of his wives was a divorcee whose husband cheated on her, then yes I can see theres a risk there cause you don't know who the husband cheated with. But she can see a doctor to check she doesn't have anything - although for her own health it would have been better to do that at the time of divorcing the cheating ex husband rather than waiting until she found a new husband. Although that applies equally to monogamous marriage. So it's not really an issue.

    And yes, if one of the wives or the husband in a polygamous marriage is cheating then yes they are putting the other wives and all their future children at risk - but maybe that's why adultery carries the punishment of stoning to death. (and this can also happen in a monogamous marriage too so it's not really an issue either)
    Last edited by dhak1yya; 26-08-10 at 04:24 PM.





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    Re: The Advantages of a Polygamous marriage.

    very good point of view

    i share the same opinion with you

  15. #15
    One down many more to go umm_musa's Avatar
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    Re: The Advantages of a Polygamous marriage.

    interesting points...how do you cope with the jealous feelings though? and comparing yourself against her?
    Please make du'aa for ALL reverts relatives and friends so that they too may be guided, and for all the non practising Muslims to rediscover their faith.
    In particular, my Mum, Brother, Dad, Brothers GF, My Nieces & Nephews, Dads GF, Sam and Christy AAMEEN!

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    Re: The Advantages of a Polygamous marriage.

    I couldn't do it. The very idea of marriage in my head is finding that one companion to truly love. Polygamy only sounds like a good idea if my mind is leaning more towards lust than love. If I have two wives, I can only lust after each of them as opposed to being IN LOVE with them.

    People shouldn't take this lightly. It is a HUGE responsibility to have two wives. You have to be extremely fair between all of the wives, their children, etc. And you better be able to afford all their expenses.

  17. #17
    Bring me food nousername's Avatar
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    Re: The Advantages of a Polygamous marriage.

    opinion has changed over the years~
    Last edited by nousername; 10-03-13 at 07:51 PM.
    Fabi-ayyiala -i rabbikuma tukaththibani
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    You are not here just to fill space or to be a background character in someone else's movie. Consider this: nothing would be the same if you did not exist. Every place you have ever been and everyone you have ever spoken to would be different without you. We are all connected, and we are all affected by the decisions and even the existence of those around us.

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    Re: The Advantages of a Polygamous marriage.

    Quote Originally Posted by Callow Serpent View Post
    with a sssilver tongue, ssome men can make a woman not worry about anything elsse or anyone elsse. With a ssstrong iman, the wormss will not be able to infesst her heart.
    I think the S button your keyboard is stuck.

  19. #19
    Bring me food nousername's Avatar
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    Re: The Advantages of a Polygamous marriage.

    Quote Originally Posted by saif al bataar View Post
    I think the S button your keyboard is stuck.
    serpent = ssssssssssssnake.
    Fabi-ayyiala -i rabbikuma tukaththibani
    Then which of the favors of your Lord will ye deny?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr8DR8frP_s

    You are not here just to fill space or to be a background character in someone else's movie. Consider this: nothing would be the same if you did not exist. Every place you have ever been and everyone you have ever spoken to would be different without you. We are all connected, and we are all affected by the decisions and even the existence of those around us.

  20. #20
    Library Ice Queen Massilia's Avatar
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    Re: The Advantages of a Polygamous marriage.

    I think each woman has her own advantages. The reasons exposed imply that the co-wives would be "friends", honeslty were i to be in a polygamous marriage I would never be friends with any co-wife that would be too weird.
    Also, sharin household duties really? And the co-wife wouldn't have her own household to take care of? That's 2x more work
    And the reference to the mistress, the two are totally unrelated since the mistress is not there to build a family.

    Really, the best advantage is time for your stuff and more independence. The rest is really really not an advantage.
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  21. #21
    Odan muzzybee's Avatar
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    Re: The Advantages of a Polygamous marriage.

    Quote Originally Posted by Massilia View Post
    I think each woman has her own advantages. The reasons exposed imply that the co-wives would be "friends", honeslty were i to be in a polygamous marriage I would never be friends with any co-wife that would be too weird.
    Also, sharin household duties really? And the co-wife wouldn't have her own household to take care of? That's 2x more work
    And the reference to the mistress, the two are totally unrelated since the mistress is not there to build a family.

    Really, the best advantage is time for your stuff and more independence. The rest is really really not an advantage.
    This is dangerous territory , if a man wants to get into polygamous marriage he should make sure that wives have their own space and independance ,having an environment where that could leave to any problems

  22. #22
    Senior Member DarkChocolate's Avatar
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    Re: The Advantages of a Polygamous marriage.

    This thread for those who want polygamy, there is no pressure to enforce polygamy onto anyone and it isn't right to do so. So please don't mis-use it or try to make it compulsory on everyone.

    Monogamy has its advantages, polygamy has its advantages. Whichever you prefer, doesn't matter either way, its a personal matter and not for the world to dictate or enforce upon you.

    Also not all polygamous marriages are the same, just as not all monogamous marriages are the same. Everyone has their own way of doing things. What works for sister Dhakkiya may not work for everyone. Even the wives of the Prophet pbuh had issues regarding jealousy, they were human after all.
    Last edited by DarkChocolate; 10-03-13 at 09:09 AM.
    Allah is compassionate and He loves compassion in all things. [Hadith]

  23. #23
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    Re: The Advantages of a Polygamous marriage.

    Quote Originally Posted by nousername View Post
    serpent = ssssssssssssnake.
    more like an 'invading reptilian'

    º•○º○•Sabr... is like swallowing something bitter without showing any distaste on your face.•○º○•º -Imam Junaid

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    Odan rainbow*~'s Avatar
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    Re: The Advantages of a Polygamous marriage.

    I never used to understand polygamy before but the greatest advantage I see in it for me as a Muslimah would be that it would teach me not to love my husband so much and so possessively. We're told that we haven't truly believed until we love Allah (swt) and His Rasool more than anything right? I can see some women loving their husbands more and this allowance for polygamy ensures their love of their husband is kept in check I guess. I was speaking to my mum about this topic and was incredibly surprised when she said that she wouldn't mind my dad taking another wife..at the time I was like but my dad's reply was that he wouldn't want to take another wife so then I was like

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    Re: The Advantages of a Polygamous marriage.

    Really good post brother!

    Its really interesting to when you see how the majority of married men in the west end up cheating on their wife at some point eventually. Everyday in the gossip sections of trashy newspapers and magazines there are stories of someone who cheated on his white. Most wealthy men in the past used to keep mistresses and the fact that they even have a name for such a thing is evident of how prevalent it was.

    Yet when it comes to giving these women the rights of a wife as in Islam you cannot have sexual relations with any women without giving her all the rights of a wife, most people in the west disagree. It is somehow acceptable to have sexual relations with a women outside of marriage and cheat on your spouse but when it comes to giving these women the rights they deserve, that's unacceptable!



    Though I'll be more than happy and thankful if I simply find one!

  26. #26
    Sincerity in Life al-siddiq's Avatar
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    Re: The Advantages of a Polygamous marriage.

    We should compile all of these into one document. I could use something like this the next time some islam-hater attacks polygamy.
    If you have any questions feel free to PM me!

    Humililty, Sincerity, and the quest for Truth. There is no purpose in life but to seek the pleasure of Allah.

  27. #27
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    Re: The Advantages of a Polygamous marriage.

    Salams all,

    Sister DarkChocolate,

    For, most of those stuff you are saying about sharing housework and babysitting, you need to understand that co-wives do NOT have to live together. I would not babysit a co-wife's children or help her with housework. I would want a separate life from her. Well at least it's good for sisters like you who seem excited about sharing their man with another sister. You will be a good fit for those brothers who strongly desire polygamy.

    I can't believe one sister said you could breastfeed each other's children, really? Is the man shortage that bad that sisters are willing to live with a co-wife? I am sorry, but I could not do it. As for the other stuff, I agree that those are advantages, especially ensuring that every sister can find a suitable husband.

    Hopefully, you feel this way even after getting married. Well I guess it depends if you marry as the first wife and then have co-wives after or if you marry an already married man. From sisters who seem so positive about polygamy, it usually seems it is only if they are not the first wife or if the husband does not marry AFTER them. Is there an already married brother you interested in? Many sister's do not mind marrying an already married brother and are happy to do it, but cannot accept it if he married after them.
    Last edited by muslimahc; 10-03-13 at 05:22 PM.
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    Re: The Advantages of a Polygamous marriage.

    This is a bit of rose tinted view of Polygamy.

    The only women this would be of any benefit to are women who can't get married for whatever reasons. And the only kind of women who can accept this are those who want a lot of independence and want to marry simply to fulfill "half their deen". Which is basically what they will be doing as they have half a husband with another women. Or a quarter of him depending in how many more he wants.

  29. #29
    umm sumaiya naila-k's Avatar
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    Re: The Advantages of a Polygamous marriage.

    i^^ of course, anyone who can see things differently from you must be deficient and there is a need to attack their character!

    Recipes for all the family
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  30. #30
    Bring me food nousername's Avatar
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    Re: The Advantages of a Polygamous marriage.

    Quote Originally Posted by naila-k View Post
    i^^ of course, anyone who can see things differently from you must be deficient and there is a need to attack their character!
    I don't see why she insists on opining on Muslim affairs as she rejected Allah swt and is an apostate.
    Fabi-ayyiala -i rabbikuma tukaththibani
    Then which of the favors of your Lord will ye deny?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr8DR8frP_s

    You are not here just to fill space or to be a background character in someone else's movie. Consider this: nothing would be the same if you did not exist. Every place you have ever been and everyone you have ever spoken to would be different without you. We are all connected, and we are all affected by the decisions and even the existence of those around us.

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    Re: The Advantages of a Polygamous marriage.

    Quote Originally Posted by naila-k View Post
    i^^ of course, anyone who can see things differently from you must be deficient and there is a need to attack their character!
    I don't have enough heart to care for anyone else's opinion. So by all means, please get excited about having co-wives.

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    Re: The Advantages of a Polygamous marriage.

    Don't get me wrong, I'll still get him to sign over his right in the contract lol you can never be sure what a guy is like until you've married him, my mum was just lucky.

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    Re: The Advantages of a Polygamous marriage.

    Quote Originally Posted by In my Opinion View Post
    I don't have enough heart to care for anyone else's opinion. So by all means, please get excited about having co-wives.
    lol i am not asking you to care, i am asking you not to attack the character of those who disagree with you.

    Recipes for all the family
    (and you thought I was a lazy feminazi which can't cook?)

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    Re: The Advantages of a Polygamous marriage.

    Quote Originally Posted by muslimahc View Post
    Salams all,

    Sister DarkChocolate,

    For, most of those stuff you are saying about sharing housework and babysitting, you need to understand that co-wives do NOT have to live together. I would not babysit a co-wife's children or help her with housework. I would want a separate life from her. Well at least it's good for sisters like you who seem excited about sharing their man with another sister. You will be a good fit for those brothers who strongly desire polygamy.

    I can't believe one sister said you could breastfeed each other's children, really? Is the man shortage that bad that sisters are willing to live with a co-wife? I am sorry, but I could not do it. As for the other stuff, I agree that those are advantages, especially ensuring that every sister can find a suitable husband.

    Hopefully, you feel this way even after getting married. Well I guess it depends if you marry as the first wife and then have co-wives after or if you marry an already married man. From sisters who seem so positive about polygamy, it usually seems it is only if they are not the first wife or if the husband does not marry AFTER them. Is there an already married brother you interested in? Many sister's do not mind marrying an already married brother and are happy to do it, but cannot accept it if he married after them.

    Wsalam,

    Lol, I was only stating some benefits which I saw from some polygamous marriages, they don't all work the same. In fact many polygmous marriages work better when the wives lives far apart and never see each other, living separate lives. But its a lifestyle choice for some, and as I said THERE IS NO PRESSURE ON ANYONE TO BE POLYGMOUS. I really wish people wouldn't feel pressured into this, it is a personal choice, for those who take it, they shouldn't feel marginalised and excluded from the rest of the world. And those who don't take it, shouldn't be made to feel guilty for not sharing their husbands, as though it is the mother of all good deeds and one who doesn't do it is somehow bad. PERSONAL CHOICE PEOPLE. I doubt anyone would argue this much over whether someone had a mars bar or snickers, it really is just personal choice.

    It doesnt really matter which option you take, some women may have their imaan compromised by being polygamous, whereas some may become closer to Allah through it.
    Everyones different.

    Btw, this reply isn't directed at you sister, i started off replying to you and then rambled, as usual, lol.
    Last edited by DarkChocolate; 11-03-13 at 05:33 PM.
    Allah is compassionate and He loves compassion in all things. [Hadith]

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    Re: The Advantages of a Polygamous marriage.

    Quote Originally Posted by In my Opinion View Post
    This is a bit of rose tinted view of Polygamy.

    The only women this would be of any benefit to are women who can't get married for whatever reasons. And the only kind of women who can accept this are those who want a lot of independence and want to marry simply to fulfill "half their deen". Which is basically what they will be doing as they have half a husband with another women. Or a quarter of him depending in how many more he wants.
    In a thread titled "the advantages of a polygamous marriage", I too find it strange that posters are mentioning some of the potentially positive sides of polygamy!!!!!!!

    So nice of you to say such positive things about the character of Sisters in polygamous marriages.

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    Re: The Advantages of a Polygamous marriage.

    Quote Originally Posted by abubakarbristol View Post
    In a thread titled "the advantages of a polygamous marriage", I too find it strange that posters are mentioning some of the potentially positive sides of polygamy!!!!!!!

    So nice of you to say such positive things about the character of Sisters in polygamous marriages.
    I think you will find that "independence" was one of the major reasons some of the sisters here said they opted for a polygamous marriage. To them it is an advantage as they don't want to deal with a full time husband. I haven't said anything good nor bad - just pointed out what I have read. Sure there might be some women who get excited about sharing their husbands... which I find absurd as it goes against their natural inclinations... but hey, they must be so secure within themselves. Good for them.

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    Re: The Advantages of a Polygamous marriage.

    Quote Originally Posted by In my Opinion View Post
    I think you will find that "independence" was one of the major reasons some of the sisters here said they opted for a polygamous marriage. To them it is an advantage as they don't want to deal with a full time husband. I haven't said anything good nor bad - just pointed out what I have read. Sure there might be some women who get excited about sharing their husbands... which I find absurd as it goes against their natural inclinations... but hey, they must be so secure within themselves. Good for them.
    A post full of assumptions, all yours and all expressed in a negative way.

  38. #38
    Bring me food nousername's Avatar
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    Re: The Advantages of a Polygamous marriage.

    Quote Originally Posted by abubakarbristol View Post
    In a thread titled "the advantages of a polygamous marriage", I too find it strange that posters are mentioning some of the potentially positive sides of polygamy!!!!!!!

    So nice of you to say such positive things about the character of Sisters in polygamous marriages.
    she's a nonMuslim, that's why the disdain.
    Fabi-ayyiala -i rabbikuma tukaththibani
    Then which of the favors of your Lord will ye deny?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr8DR8frP_s

    You are not here just to fill space or to be a background character in someone else's movie. Consider this: nothing would be the same if you did not exist. Every place you have ever been and everyone you have ever spoken to would be different without you. We are all connected, and we are all affected by the decisions and even the existence of those around us.

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    Re: The Advantages of a Polygamous marriage.

    Quote Originally Posted by nousername View Post
    she's a nonMuslim, that's why the disdain.
    Now that makes sense !!

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    Re: The Advantages of a Polygamous marriage.

    Quote Originally Posted by DarkChocolate View Post
    Wsalam,

    Lol, I was only stating some benefits which I saw from some polygamous marriages, they don't all work the same. In fact many polygmous marriages work better when the wives lives far apart and never see each other, living separate lives. But its a lifestyle choice for some, and as I said THERE IS NO PRESSURE ON ANYONE TO BE POLYGMOUS. I really wish people wouldn't feel pressured into this, it is a personal choice, but those who take it, they shouldn't feel marginalised and excluded from the rest of the world. And those who don't take it shouldn't be made to feel guilty for not sharing their husbands, as though it is the mother of all good deeds and one who doesn't do it, is somehow bad. PERSONAL CHOICE PEOPLE. I doubt anyone would argue this much over whether someone had a mars bar or snickers, it really is just personal choice.

    It doesnt really matter which option you take, some women may have their imaan compromised by being polygamous, whereas some may become closer to Allah through it.
    Everyones different.
    Salams again sis,

    Yes it''s true that polygamy is more likely to work when the sisters live independently as there is less jealousy or potential for conflict. Also, I agree that it is personal as I always say. However, I was pointing out that some of your reasons seemed unrealistic due to the natural jealous nature of women, acutally just people period. Men certainly are more jealous than we are. They would kill each other lol... if women were allowed to have many husbands. Anyway, I think when you become a married sister, you won't have such a jolly attitude about LIVING with a co-wife. Uness you are not in love with the man you marry. Even 2nd and other wives get jealous, not only first wife. If you love someone, it is natural to be jealous and protective over them.
    Therefore remember Me, I will remember you, And be thankful to Me, and do not be ungrateful to Me." [Qur'an 2:152]
    Behold in the Remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction."
    [Al Quran 13:28]
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