okay first of all, I'm not a typical teen and all that. I'm 21 this year.
I recently unintentionally 'fell in love' with this guy who's like my best friend right now, but the problem is - he's definitely in love with my best friend - who's like a sis to me (and she, btw, is not in love with him but shes always giving him the wrong idea - probably on purpose).
Ive never felt this way about someone. never have I dated and done anything of that kind (alhamdollillah). I am shy, especially with men.
We are both opposites. I'm an Introvert, And hes an Extrovert. he sees me as this very eccentric person and my friend as perfect (he said that literally).
Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy. My heart aches so bad. Its enough I have so many issues with myself, people around me and my life. Every time I think about him being attracted to her and not me, I feel so worthless. Ive never had any man felt that way about me, where as she has. I care more about him more than she does, and he doesn't seem to care about me.
I don't know what to say anymore. I never express my feelings and thoughts to anyone. This is the first time. I feel so depressed, so angry. I know this might sound a bit naive and crazy, but I often fantasize about us being married, and when I over analyze everything and realize that is just impossible on so many levels, I just feel like dropping dead.
Its so hard for me to 'fall in love'. And I know this might sound...I don't know the word, but anyway, I think that I am a better match for him than my Friend. Lol. Okay that sounds ridiculous, so I'm not going to continue on that, but I still mean it for so many good reasons. I just think as a Muslim we would make a great married couple.
Please help me...I know only god can, but still I need people right now...I have no one... I'm lonely and depressed...
sometimes, I just try to focus my mind on other things, forget about him, hate him, or convince myself there will be someone else except the feelings will be mutual, and etc.
sometimes, I just try to think of him as an immature, naive idiot who just likes my friend because shes flirtatious, more attractive and glamorous. And sometimes I wish they would marry each other just to suffer. LOL. because I feel like they both have a tendency to be superficial, materialistic, argumentative and aggressive. and he loves her, but she doesn't so the marriage will go boom. and etc. astaghfirallah.
I know I shouldn't be thinking that way, and its weird, but I'm human. and angry. and sad.
and Btw, sometimes he gives me the wrong idea as well by some things he does and says...thats how I started to have feelings for him.