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  1. #1
    Odan muslimali1234's Avatar
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    how to nicely reject proposal

    salaam all after months of looking 4 a wifey i had my 1st proposal well anyway like i tried rejecting it but i think i was 2 nice and gave a wrng signal so what do i say i dnt wana hurt the sisters feelings but im jus nt attracted to her?
    ]IM A BRO READ MY NICK RIGHT U ROBOTS!!

  2. #2
    Odan MG's Avatar
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    Re: how to nicely reject proposal

    wa alaikum aslaam - get your family members to do it
    For The Non-Muslims:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlMBkJme8J4The ProphetSAW sed, "(There are2words which R dear 2 the most gracious (Allah SWT)&very easy4the tongue2say but very heavy in the balance.They are:Subhan Allahi Wa Bihamdihi - Subhan Allahil-Azim.Islam- Why Pay For The Disease,When The Cure Is Free

  3. #3
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    Re: how to nicely reject proposal

    I am going to regretfully decline.
    Please Re-update your Signature

  4. #4
    I speak Sarcasm Hijabistani's Avatar
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    Re: how to nicely reject proposal

    Quote Originally Posted by MG View Post
    wa alaikum aslaam - get your family members to do it
    LOL ^^^^ good point

    Be honest and say i dont think it going to work out. Oh and a lil tip, before you get to know osmeone make a joint decision that if isnt going to move further than they need to say so, no hard feelings etc... It makes life alot easier
    "Verily Allah does not look to your appearance or wealth, but he looks to your hearts and your deeds." [Sahih Muslim, Vol. 4, #6221]


  5. #5
    Odan .Abu.Rambo.'s Avatar
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    Re: how to nicely reject proposal

    don't make her wait though
    ‎"Listen with the ears of tolerance. See through the eyes of compassion. Speak with the language of love."
    Rumi RahimuAllah.

  6. #6
    Odan RaineR's Avatar
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    Re: how to nicely reject proposal

    i thought it was the other way round..I didnt know sisters ask men to marry them?
    I know its ok but its just weird
    There is no such thing as an Israel,
    It is occupied-palestine


    Should the Jews have been given a homeland?

    YES...........in germany,

    the world should have given the jews germany as payment for the holocaust

  7. #7
    ~Alhamdulillah~ Masumah's Avatar
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    Re: how to nicely reject proposal

    just say to her that shes too good for u..she'l get the message

  8. #8
    Odan RaineR's Avatar
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    Re: how to nicely reject proposal

    Quote Originally Posted by Masumah View Post
    just say to her that shes too good for u..she'l get the message
    that would be a lie lol becuzhe's saying she isnt good for him
    There is no such thing as an Israel,
    It is occupied-palestine


    Should the Jews have been given a homeland?

    YES...........in germany,

    the world should have given the jews germany as payment for the holocaust

  9. #9
    ~Alhamdulillah~ Masumah's Avatar
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    Re: how to nicely reject proposal

    Quote Originally Posted by RaineR View Post
    that would be a lie lol becuzhe's saying she isnt good for him
    how do u know

  10. #10
    Odan RaineR's Avatar
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    Re: how to nicely reject proposal

    Quote Originally Posted by Masumah View Post
    how do u know
    I Dont :S he said so in his post
    There is no such thing as an Israel,
    It is occupied-palestine


    Should the Jews have been given a homeland?

    YES...........in germany,

    the world should have given the jews germany as payment for the holocaust

  11. #11
    ~Alhamdulillah~ Masumah's Avatar
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    Re: how to nicely reject proposal

    hes just not attracted to her.

  12. #12
    doctorsworldwide.org Nawar's Avatar
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    Re: how to nicely reject proposal

    I don't understand it got to the stage of proposal and then you realised that you don't feel attracted to her?
    Don't mess people around for any longer and sort it out. Worse thing is people dragging it out.
    so be patient, with a beautiful patience [70:5]

  13. #13
    Spending the days indoors LailaTheMuslim's Avatar
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    Re: how to nicely reject proposal

    as a girl i wouldn't have the guts to try

    just say- I'm not ''ready'' to commit to you
    WhenTheWorldPushesYouToYourKnees-
    You'reInThePerfectPositionToPray (Islam.07)


    The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “O people, beware of this shirk, for it is more subtle than the footsteps of an ant. The one whom Allaah willed should speak said to him, “How can we beware of it when it is more subtle than the footsteps of an ant, O Messenger of Allaah?” He said, “Say, Allaahumma innaa na’oodhu bika min an nushrika bika shay’an na’lamuhu wa nastaghfiruka limaa laa na’lam (O Allaah, we seek refuge with You from knowingly associating anything with You, and we seek Your forgiveness for that which we do unknowingly).” (Narrated by Ahmad, 4/403)


    “My intercession will be for those among my ummah who have committed major sins.” [Classed as Sahih by al-Albaani in Sahih Abi Dawood, 3965]

    Formpring me:

    http://www.formspring.me/LailaTheWailer

  14. #14
    Senior Member neelu's Avatar
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    Re: how to nicely reject proposal

    Say to her that you really don't feel that you're compatible with each other and to not take it personally cos' you don't think she's a bad person or anything. Then say inshallah she'll make a very nice wife for a very lucky brother someday but that brother wont be you because she's not quite what you had in mind. Don't EVER use words like "not ready" or "yet" or "maybe one day" etc as that would cause her to hold out hope that eventually one day you'll say yes. Don't say "I'm not good enough for you" as this would be misinterpreted that you have low self esteem and just need to get the confidence to say yes. Be direct and polite but if she wont let go and starts to pester like a stalker then stop being polite and tell her to go away. You can tell I've done this before lol.

  15. #15

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    Re: how to nicely reject proposal

    Quote Originally Posted by neelu View Post
    Say to her that you really don't feel that you're compatible with each other and to not take it personally cos' you don't think she's a bad person or anything. Then say inshallah she'll make a very nice wife for a very lucky brother someday but that brother wont be you because she's not quite what you had in mind. Don't EVER use words like "not ready" or "yet" or "maybe one day" etc as that would cause her to hold out hope that eventually one day you'll say yes. Don't say "I'm not good enough for you" as this would be misinterpreted that you have low self esteem and just need to get the confidence to say yes. Be direct and polite but if she wont let go and starts to pester like a stalker then stop being polite and tell her to go away. You can tell I've done this before lol.
    Brothers should start taking notes

    V.good advice mashaAllah.

  16. #16

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    Re: how to nicely reject proposal

    Why aren't you attracted to her?

  17. #17
    SweetTooth
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    Re: how to nicely reject proposal

    Quote Originally Posted by Nawar View Post
    I don't understand it got to the stage of proposal and then you realised that you don't feel attracted to her?
    Don't mess people around for any longer and sort it out. Worse thing is people dragging it out.
    True say!!!

  18. #18
    http://www.hearthijab.com Phoenix CG's Avatar
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    Re: how to nicely reject proposal

    "it's not you, it's me"

  19. #19
    Away. Soliloquy's Avatar
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    Re: how to nicely reject proposal

    Quote Originally Posted by neelu View Post
    Say to her that you really don't feel that you're compatible with each other and to not take it personally cos' you don't think she's a bad person or anything. Then say inshallah she'll make a very nice wife for a very lucky brother someday but that brother wont be you because she's not quite what you had in mind. Don't EVER use words like "not ready" or "yet" or "maybe one day" etc as that would cause her to hold out hope that eventually one day you'll say yes. Don't say "I'm not good enough for you" as this would be misinterpreted that you have low self esteem and just need to get the confidence to say yes. Be direct and polite but if she wont let go and starts to pester like a stalker then stop being polite and tell her to go away. You can tell I've done this before lol.
    The worst thing would be to make him/her feel as though there was something wrong with them. We all have individual tastes. One should always try to make what they're saying clear in situations like this though.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky Balboa View Post
    Why aren't you attracted to her?
    It's unnecessary for him to discuss this here.

    Quote Originally Posted by Phoenix CG View Post
    "it's not you, it's me"
    *rolls eyes*
    Ya Muqallib al-Quloob, thabbit qalbi 'alaa Deenik
    O' Converter of Hearts, make my heart steadfast upon Thy Way
    We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.

  20. #20
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    Re: how to nicely reject proposal

    Masha'Allah, people are proposing to you Alhamdulilah, in our neck of the woods, sisters are scarce its getting to boiling point! Be honest, and Honoured!

  21. #21

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    Re: how to nicely reject proposal

    Quote Originally Posted by Nawar View Post
    I don't understand it got to the stage of proposal and then you realised that you don't feel attracted to her?
    Don't mess people around for any longer and sort it out. Worse thing is people dragging it out.
    +1

    Also just be a Man and say "No Thank You."

    You don't need to give a long female type explanation.

  22. #22

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    Re: how to nicely reject proposal

    Quote Originally Posted by Nawar View Post
    I don't understand it got to the stage of proposal and then you realised that you don't feel attracted to her?
    Don't mess people around for any longer and sort it out. Worse thing is people dragging it out.
    I agree 100% ^^^^^ it makes no sense talking to someone you don't physically like, why waste someone precious time and tea.

  23. #23

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    Re: how to nicely reject proposal

    What if the guy/sister is a persistent type? keep on stalking, calling to persuade you to marry him/her? What if they resorted to sihir to make the guy/sister under spelled and submit to their wishes?

  24. #24
    A rose, Poetry and Prose zammy's Avatar
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    Re: how to nicely reject proposal

    omg persistent people are so scary (when their the stalkerish type)
    May we reach daruSalaam by His, and only His Decree
    I would die for the cause if I knew only to what degree
    *
    My Blog

  25. #25

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    Re: how to nicely reject proposal

    Quote Originally Posted by zammy View Post
    omg persistent people are so scary (when their the stalkerish type)
    call police or get restraining order from the court?

  26. #26
    A rose, Poetry and Prose zammy's Avatar
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    Re: how to nicely reject proposal

    that`s too over the top =s it`s just a miskeen dude tryna get married.. to the wrong person!
    May we reach daruSalaam by His, and only His Decree
    I would die for the cause if I knew only to what degree
    *
    My Blog

  27. #27
    YDoUwant2KnoIfImHappy/Not GuCcI's Avatar
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    Re: how to nicely reject proposal

    dont tell someone ur not attracted.. dont even use attraction as a reason, it can really hurt people's feelings.

    i would say uncompatible. attraction could fall under that.
    Screaming, But Will Never Be Heard

  28. #28

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    Re: how to nicely reject proposal

    Quote Originally Posted by Supernova Nebula View Post
    What if the guy/sister is a persistent type? keep on stalking, calling to persuade you to marry him/her? What if they resorted to sihir to make the guy/sister under spelled and submit to their wishes?
    Then sprinkle some chilli powder in their eyes

  29. #29

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    Re: how to nicely reject proposal

    Quote Originally Posted by zammy View Post
    omg persistent people are so scary (when their the stalkerish type)
    I know where you live lol

  30. #30

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    Re: how to nicely reject proposal

    Quote Originally Posted by GuCcI View Post
    dont tell someone ur not attracted.. dont even use attraction as a reason, it can really hurt people's feelings.

    i would say uncompatible. attraction could fall under that.
    Like I said before Just be a man and say

    NO, THANK YOU.

    There is no need to think, analyse, choose and rehearse what to say. That is what females do. The OP is a Make so keep it simple so he can avoid over-thinking and making a drama out of a situation which can be resolved kindly in a few words.

  31. #31
    جبريل -Jibril-'s Avatar
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    Re: how to nicely reject proposal

    Its not you, its me
    There is rest only in the aakhira.
    Man will rest in the aakhira according to how hard he strives in dunya.
    - Khaalid Ibn Al Waleed (ra) -


    If you find yourself in a time where speech is regarded as knowledge,
    and knowledge is regarded as deeds,
    then you are in the worst of times, with the worst of people.
    - Abu Hazim Al Ashja'i (ra) -


  32. #32
    Odan Proud-2b-MUSLIM's Avatar
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    Re: how to nicely reject proposal

    Anything you say to her she'll figure out u didnt like her, lol, tell her u did istikhara and ur getting a bad feeling (and insha'Allah u did istikhara? if not do it quickly so u wont be lying. lol). thats the only way u'll get out of without hurting her feelings!


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