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View Poll Results: Men that cry in private over difficult situations something shameful?

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41. You may not vote on this poll
  • Yes, it's not manly

    4 9.76%
  • No, it's perfectly alright.

    37 90.24%
  • Only if he follows it with dua' right after...otherwise it's still sad.

    0 0%
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  1. #1
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    Men that cry...:'(

    Do you hold it shameful for a man to cry in private over difficult situations and hard decisions?

    Explain

  2. #2
    scribble
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    Re: Men that cry...:'(

    Difficult times and stuff that is actually worthy of crying over, what's big deal, everyone cries. As long as he doesn't cry over dumb things like I do, then he's still cool, least he has a heart.

    Actually no I don't cry over dumb things no more. =/ I can't find tears for dumb things, alhamdulillah.
    Last edited by scribble; 01-02-10 at 09:20 AM.

  3. #3
    Vulcan LondoMollari's Avatar
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    Re: Men that cry...:'(

    Quote Originally Posted by advertisement View Post
    Do you hold it shameful for a man to cry in private over difficult situations and hard decisions?

    Explain
    It's no shameful, tae cry yer eyes oot. Me I cannae - the only time I cried was at the funeral of my father-in-law at his graveside, back in 2001; and last year when I heard that a friend of mine had been killed
    Logic is the cement of our civilisation, with which we ascend from chaos, using reason and faith in Allah as our guide.

  4. #4
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    Re: Men that cry...:'(

    Ya, may Allah have mercy upon our parents.

    I got my acceptance to continue seeking knowledge and sitting in my room thinking about doing so for 4 more years away from my family and home (if that's the right word), made me cry...:'( but I feel better now
    Last edited by advertisement; 01-02-10 at 11:08 AM.

  5. #5
    ~ Allahu Akbar ~ dhak1yya's Avatar
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    Re: Men that cry...:'(

    absolutely nothing wrong with men crying!! he's human, not a robot.......

    Bottling up the emotions is bad for you, male or female. why on earth would crying in private be shameful? I'd be more worried about a man who never cried to be honest......





  6. #6
    Odan ImperfectBeauty's Avatar
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    Re: Men that cry...:'(

    Men are not supposed to vry infront of people, it makes them seem rather weak although they can cry in private

    Women cry all the time over anything, I think thats enough ...lol

  7. #7
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    Re: Men that cry...:'(

    i forgot to put the ayah

    و هو الذي أضحك و أبكى

    And Allah's the one that makes humans laugh and cry

  8. #8
    Odan MuslimSoljah's Avatar
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    Re: Men that cry...:'(

    Quote Originally Posted by advertisement View Post
    i forgot to put the ayah

    و هو الذي أضحك و أبكى

    And Allah's the one that makes humans laugh and cry
    JazakAllaah then you get ignorant comments such as 'Men are not supposed to cry infront of people'
    I thank Allah for blessing me with Islam... there are billions of souls out there who are in the darkness... yet we still do not appreciate it and thank him enough

  9. #9
    CooL Guy ammarcool's Avatar
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    Lightbulb Re: Men that cry...:'(

    Quote Originally Posted by advertisement View Post
    Do you hold it shameful for a man to cry in private over difficult situations and hard decisions?

    Explain
    we should cry and ask dua from Almighty when we are in such like difficult situations. Other than that from whom we should get help?

    the brave `Umar ibn Al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) also used to cry in front of Almighty, so why we cant?

    "Two (kinds of) eyes will not be touched by the Fire: an eye that wept out of fear of Allah and an eye that spent the night guarding in the cause of Allah." (At-Tirmidhi)

    http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.a...D=1954&CATE=17

    Last edited by ammarcool; 01-02-10 at 11:59 AM.

  10. #10

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    Re: Men that cry...:'(

    i dunno, i don't like to see men cry it just looks......odd. i do understand men crying in really hard situations but normally they're the ones that hold it together and comfort the women or whatever.....i've never seen my brothers or dad cry except when my bro passed away. other than that never......i don't even cry myself

  11. #11
    with purple dots SkyBluePink's Avatar
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    Re: Men that cry...:'(

    Yeah because its in the nature of the man to be the protector...therefore we dont like to think of them as vulnerable. However, I have seen my uncles cry at a family members funeral. Its not crying exactly...its just that red-eyed look. The way men cry I suppose.

  12. #12
    Meeeow! Hiking's Avatar
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    Re: Men that cry...:'(

    Quote Originally Posted by advertisement View Post
    Do you hold it shameful for a man to cry in private over difficult situations and hard decisions?

    Explain
    No, they have feelings too.
    It is narrated on the authority of Jabir that he heard the (Holy Prophet)[] say: A Muslim is he from whose hand and tongue the Muslims are safe.
    -Muslim




  13. #13
    Odan NoLa's Avatar
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    Re: Men that cry...:'(

    It's abnormal if you are human and don't cry..Nothing shameful in it..plus it's a great stress reliever

  14. #14
    SweetTooth
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    Re: Men that cry...:'(

    A few tears here and there is nice but if he's rolling around on the floor crying buckets like I do usually then there's a problem.

  15. #15
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    Re: Men that cry...:'(

    The Prophet cried when his son Ibrahim died and the Companions were surprised at that and he said it was "mercy" . Its perfectly fine for a man to cry in situations like this, they are human afterall.
    "..And verily for everything that a slave loses there is a substitute, but the one who loses Allah will never find anything to replace Him."
    [Related by Ibn al-Qayyim in ad-Dâ' wad-Dawâ Fasl 49]

  16. #16
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    Re: Men that cry...:'(

    Quote Originally Posted by NoLa View Post
    It's abnormal if you are human and don't cry..Nothing shameful in it..plus it's a great stress reliever
    I dunno, i've never been able to cry, except on the two occasions i mentoned earlier

    - i think it might be because of my inner Vulcan
    Logic is the cement of our civilisation, with which we ascend from chaos, using reason and faith in Allah as our guide.

  17. #17
    Very happy bunny -:) KeeKee's Avatar
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    Re: Men that cry...:'(

    nothing shameful about it all. they are human too.
    The enforcement of Muslim Brotherhood is the greatest social ideal of Islam. On it was based the Prophet's (SAW) sermon on his last pilgrimage, and Islam cannot be completely realized until this ideal is achieved. '
    (Shaikh Maulana Muhammad Yusuf)
    In Lam Takun Ghaadiban Annee Falaa Ubaalee...

  18. #18
    Umm Amirah *hijab*'s Avatar
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    Re: Men that cry...:'(

    the sahabah used to cry

    doesnt mean a man is less of a man if he cries

  19. #19
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    Re: Men that cry...:'(

    I used to cry about every little thing as a child. loll Since then I have never cried again. I think my body cannot produce tears anymore lol
    To the question I assume it's okay for a man to cry
    "(...)O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as it.’”
    (Hadith Qudsi, at Tirmidhi)

  20. #20
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    Re: Men that cry...:'(

    Not much wrong with crying if hes a man... though If he crys out of fear of Allah s.w.t then he is a true man.

  21. #21
    شهيد إن شاء الله
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    Re: Men that cry...:'(

    salam

    depends what hes crying about.

    if its like, some dumb little thing, like a difficulty that can be overcome, then thats somewhat shamefull. if he crys over loosing a game, that is shamefull. if he gets stung by a bee and cries, that is shamefull. or his wife calls him a bonehead.

    now if he cried because a family member died, or somthing like that, it is ok. if a huge hardship, like its him against the locality, or him striving to please Allah but so much hardship, then yeah. if he sinned and cries, then that is admerable. if one cries when seeing somthing suffer, then that shows he has a sound heart.

    basicly not wussy crying. theres a difference between that and a man tear.

  22. #22
    iM HackeD!-!-!-! IbnAbdulHakim's Avatar
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    Re: Men that cry...:'(

    cry but cry like a man, not a wailing donkey
    You hope for salvation and you have not trodden its paths,
    But the ship does not progress on dry land.

  23. #23
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    Re: Men that cry...:'(

    Assalamu Alaykum

    No, it is not shameful at all when a man cries.

    When the Prophet Muhammad ( peace be upon him) cried over his ummah, his tears were not something to be ashamed of. If the best example of mankind cried and was a role model, then we should see nothing shameful in crying, be us men or women.
    http://www.deenulhuq.wordpress.com

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  24. #24
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    Re: Men that cry...:'(

    Quote Originally Posted by sis_on_sunnah View Post
    Assalamu Alaykum

    .........If t....he best example of mankind cried ...............
    ....

    .......the door is shut for any further debate by any Muslim in the matter................
    Worship only the CREATOR, HE is One and HE is the SUSTAINER of the Universe. Do not worship any of HIS creations nor through HIS creations

  25. #25
    Counting down... EastLondon_Bro's Avatar
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    Re: Men that cry...:'(

    Quote Originally Posted by NoLa View Post
    It's abnormal if you are human and don't cry..Nothing shameful in it..plus it's a great stress reliever
    hit the nail on the head there. Crying definite smoothens the heart the way butter smoothens bread i feel.
    ...and InshAllah i remind myself before i remind others.

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  26. #26

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    Re: Men that cry...:'(

    Men don't cry they make others cry.

  27. #27
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    Re: Men that cry...:'(

    nothing at all wrong with it...why would there be as long as it's not done in public..noone should cry in public really.
    “Curiosity is the very basis of education and if you tell me that curiosity killed the cat, I say only the cat died nobly.”

  28. #28
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    Re: Men that cry...:'(

    Quote Originally Posted by layla tul qadr View Post
    nothing at all wrong with it...why would there be as long as it's not done in public..noone should cry in public really.
    In Sunan Tirmizi it is recorded from Jabir Ibne Abdulla Ansari that:

    The Messenger of Allah (S.A.W.) held the hand of Abdur Rehman Ibne Auf and took him to Ibrahim, his son, when Ibrahim was in his last moments. The Messenger of Allah (S.A.W.) took him in his lap and began to weep. Abdur Rehman Ibne Auf said: 'you are weeping? And you had yourself prohibited weeping?' The Messenger of Allah (S.A.W.) replied: 'No, but I had prohibited two kinds of cries of foolish and sinful people: The cry at the time of a calamity, and tearing at the face and the collar. And the second is crying like Shaitan. And there is more in this narration. Abu Isa says that this hadith is good.
    Worship only the CREATOR, HE is One and HE is the SUSTAINER of the Universe. Do not worship any of HIS creations nor through HIS creations

  29. #29
    not really here NGE's Avatar
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    Re: Men that cry...:'(

    Men cry too, just many won't admit it. Its only in private though for me (and only over major things), I wouldn't cry in front of others.

    The Prophet cried alot as did Umar (ra) and Abu Bakr (ra).
    Allah will ask on the Day of Judgment: “Where are those who loved each other for the sake of My glory? Today, on a day when there is no shade but Mine, I shall shade them with My shade.”(Muslim)

    "Zendagi Migzara..."

  30. #30
    Kamaa Tadeenu Tudaan Abu Mus'ab's Avatar
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    Re: Men that cry...:'(

    It's fine for men to cry in private or public for a valid reason, but if they have no valid reason, like perhaps they didn't get that last doughnut in the plate, then well i have no sympathy if he cries over it.




    "Beware of the people of personal opinion (in Deeni matters), because the people of opinion are the enemy of the Sunnah, they were unable to safeguard the Ahaadeeth, so they speak (in matters of the Deen) with their opinion, so they go astray and they lead others astray."


    Hadhrat `Umar Ibn Al-Khattaab Radhiallaahu `Anhu.


    Forgive me if i appear harsh or tactless at time in my replies, I have a great amount of ghayrah for my deen, thus I am quickly angered when people mistreat it.

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  31. #31

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    Re: Men that cry...:'(

    men who cry in public are gay whimps.

  32. #32
    Odan
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    Re: Men that cry...:'(

    Men who cry are men those who don't *scratch* someones insecure

  33. #33
    ~ Allahu Akbar ~ dhak1yya's Avatar
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    Re: Men that cry...:'(

    Quote Originally Posted by islam4u2 View Post
    men who cry in public are gay whimps.
    depends what they are crying about..... if they just saw their kid get killed in a car accident, no-one is going to blame them for crying in public!!!





  34. #34
    http://www.hearthijab.com Phoenix CG's Avatar
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    Re: Men that cry...:'(

    do do do do do do do do do dooo do do
    boysss dont cry

    the cure

  35. #35
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    Re: Men that cry...:'(

    Nothing's wrong with men crying their humans, but silly if it's over petty stuff.It's acceptable if it's over tragic stuff or for the sake of deen. I've seen men in my family shed tears countless times but it was always over a very sad circumstance like death,illness or some other loss.
    احب الصالحين و لست منهم لعل الله يرزقني صلاح

  36. #36

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    Re: Men that cry...:'(

    Hello,

    I don't think it's shameful for men to cry.

    I didn't even know men could cry though till I was in my 20s... never saw it before then.

    Also, It didnt' occur to me that men could have hurt feelings either, because sometimes they seem to hide them so well.

    When a man cries with sadness over a loved one dying, or becuase of injustice that people are suffering, and so forth, I don't think it's shameful at all.

    I do think it's important for a man (and woman) to pray when they are sad, and happy, and mad, and with any feeling one has.

    Peace and God bless

  37. #37
    ------- x--x's Avatar
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    Re: Men that cry...:'(

    Quote Originally Posted by Christianlady View Post
    I didn't even know men could cry though till I was in my 20s... never saw it before then.
    So true, I don't think I've ever seen a man cry. Is it possible

    But apparently men can go for years without crying

  38. #38
    Counting down... EastLondon_Bro's Avatar
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    Re: Men that cry...:'(

    Quote Originally Posted by x--x View Post
    So true, I don't think I've ever seen a man cry. Is it possible

    But apparently men can go for years without crying
    I seriously doubt that to be true imho.
    ...and InshAllah i remind myself before i remind others.

    ASPIRE to INSPIRE before you EXPIRE!

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  39. #39
    Vulcan LondoMollari's Avatar
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    Re: Men that cry...:'(

    Quote Originally Posted by EastLondon_Bro View Post
    I seriously doubt that to be true imho.
    well I cried at the funeral of my father in law in 2001, and then I cried when i learned that a friend on mine had been murdered in 2009 - so that's about 8 years, and I don;t remember crying within those two occasions, [peeling onions doesnae count!]
    Logic is the cement of our civilisation, with which we ascend from chaos, using reason and faith in Allah as our guide.

  40. #40
    Umm Sulaim JDR's Avatar
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    Re: Men that cry...:'(

    Quote Originally Posted by islam4u2 View Post
    men who cry in public are gay whimps.
    SubhaAllah, you should not make such statement. The Prophet have been seen crying, and his companions have also seen by others crying. This is a Dunya, we may come trough a time in our live, when others will see us cry, in this world we will all receive times of hardship. May Allah give us patience.. in those times.

    And to be honest men who cry, are more of a man than men who don't cry in times of hardship.

    I think for believers we should cry when we are alone in front of Allah swt, or else our hearth would become to hard, in that case we should ask Allah swt for forgiven is and to soften our hearts again.
    They want to extinguish Allah's Light with their mouths, but Allah will not allow except that His Light should be perfected even though the disbelievers hate (it).)- It is He Who has sent His Messenger with guidance and the religion of truth, to make it superior over all religions even though the idolators hate (it).) Surah Al-Tawbah 32-33


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