Ya Allah

Please don’t hate me

I have disobeyed you

Ignored your advice

Gone astray totally

Sinned in so many ways

Followed my lusts and desires

Chased after what seemed pretty and desirable

Ignored the fear of the hellfire

But it shocks me to know

That you still love me

I hated myself

As I was misled

By people I thought were friends

Non-Muslims and Muslims

Chasing women

Sleeping around

Drink and drugs

Clubs and pubs

But after all this

I repent and ask for forgiveness

And I feel bad knowing

That you will always forgive me

No matter what I do

Even if my sins reach from the earth to the sky

As long as I don’t commit Shirk

So I feel that there is a chance

As I take my last dance

And promise never again

To disobey you

And live life based on Kufr

It’s funny

When I was committing sin

I thought about you Ya Allah!

And that thought spoilt my pleasure

And made me feel bad

And later depressed and sad

How can you forgive?

Sinners and murderers

Fornicators and drunkards

Your compassion and love

Is surely a blessing for your servants?

So after all this

I realise

That your mercy and compassion

Supersedes your wrath

So as long as I am alive and breathing

And make an effort and try

You will always help me and answer my duas

While others have condemned me to the fire

Pronounced me a disbeliever

Given up and written me off

You my Lord still remain close

And see the little goodness within me

I have abandoned halal and haram

But still believe in the akhira

And meeting you my lord on the last day

Getting judged and accounted

I follow the society and go with the flow

I am weak and unable to speak

Against the evil around me

But you my Rabb

Can see what’s in my heart

Whilst others only see my actions

InshAllah one day

Very soon before I hit thirty

I will return back to Islam

And start doing the actions of the Jannah

And turn my back on Jahaliyah

For ever

And warn others of its perils.