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  1. #1
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    Marriage to a Somali ?

    My wali was contacted by a brother from his local mosque who wants to have a meeting with me. So i wanted to hear what Somali culture is like whether they want you to live with the whole family in one house like Asians , I mean i don't know much about marriage in the Somali culture because, i just tend to hear marriage stories from Asians friends and that's the only culture outside Omani culture that i know of.

  2. #2
    المـــوحد عبدالرحمان servant0frahman's Avatar
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    Re: Marriage to a Somali ?

    somali eat rice and a lot of banana!..
    (وجاهدوا باموالكم وانفسكم فى سبيل لله ذلك خيراً لكم ان كنتم تعلمون)

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    Account Disabled Medievalist's Avatar
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    Re: Marriage to a Somali ?

    according to a mate of mine, somali's dont give half as much gold as asians do.
    Rajab is a month of cultivation, Shaban is month of irrigating the fields, and the month of Ramadhan is a month of reaping and harvesting.”

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    Re: Marriage to a Somali ?

    best thing to do is meet him with your walli and ask him yoursef. there are believe it or not so many brothers who live by islam and their culture doesnt come into it, there are even asian men who dont make their wives live with their parents. i would never pre- guess what a brother might or might not do or believe is right based on the culture he was born into . every man is different, so just ask the brother himself about how he views things, u may be pleasantly surprised insha Allah. may Allah ta ala bless u with a husband of good character and piety amin.
    "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

    The Prophet said:

    "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

    muslim

    Narrated 'Abdullah:

    The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


    "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

    By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

    [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]


  5. #5
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    Re: Marriage to a Somali ?

    Not generally, but there are many who do...particularly in the beginning. Just ask.
    "The discovery of truth is prevented more effectively, not by the false appearance of things present and which mislead into error, not directly by weakness of the reasoning powers, but by preconceived notions, opinion, and by prejudice." - Arthur Schopenhauer

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    Re: Marriage to a Somali ?

    Asalaamu Alaikum sis,

    You're not expected to live with his family. It's not a practice common amongst Somalis.

    But, I think you should discuss it with him just to be sure, and see how he feels about it.

    Somalis are extremely family oriented, just like most Muslims. Family is really important, and the maintainin' of kinship.

    His parents will treat you like their own daughter, as they should.

    Most Somali women are not the submissive type, they're known for being strong minded and active. They tend to run the household, includin' the finances. Most Somali men don't mind if their wife decides to work, but you'll also find some Somali men who are more traditional, and prefer their wife stays at home, these tend to be the older ones.

    Wish you all the best.
    "The real prisoner is someone whose heart is imprisoned from his Lord and the true captive is someone captured by his passion" Ibn Taymiyyah (RA)

  7. #7
    Senior Member !patience!'s Avatar
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    Re: Marriage to a Somali ?

    Quote Originally Posted by haya67 View Post
    My wali was contacted by a brother from his local mosque who wants to have a meeting with me. So i wanted to hear what Somali culture is like whether they want you to live with the whole family in one house like Asians , I mean i don't know much about marriage in the Somali culture because, i just tend to hear marriage stories from Asians friends and that's the only culture outside Omani culture that i know of.
    Have you not heard sis somali’s are the best


    your a lucky chick

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    bigring Re: Marriage to a Somali ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Medievalist View Post
    according to a mate of mine, somali's dont give half as much gold as asians do.
    yep you got that definitely right, and thank allah for that

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    Re: Marriage to a Somali ?

    ^ lol. Alhamdulillah, indeed.
    "The real prisoner is someone whose heart is imprisoned from his Lord and the true captive is someone captured by his passion" Ibn Taymiyyah (RA)

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    Umm Amirah *hijab*'s Avatar
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    Re: Marriage to a Somali ?

    who cares about excessive gold anyways....



    i dont know much about somali culture, someone i know married into a somali family recently

    all i can say is tht mke sure u marry a deeni somali

  11. #11
    Senior Member !patience!'s Avatar
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    Re: Marriage to a Somali ?

    Quote Originally Posted by *hijab* View Post
    who cares about excessive gold anyways....



    i dont know much about somali culture, someone i know married into a somali family recently

    all i can say is tht mke sure u marry a deeni somali
    yeah inshAllah as long as he is well into the DEEN then thats fine

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    Umm Amirah *hijab*'s Avatar
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    Re: Marriage to a Somali ?

    Quote Originally Posted by !patience! View Post
    yeah inshAllah as long as he is well into the DEEN then thats fine
    yep because inshaAllah Allah will come first before anything

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    Re: Marriage to a Somali ?

    In Somali culture woman tend to control the finances something i am more than happy with (hagbad) lol . but like sister Asiya said inquire with the brother but i reckon if he a proper somali then they tend to be lenient with their wives.

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    Senior Member !patience!'s Avatar
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    Re: Marriage to a Somali ?

    Quote Originally Posted by hamza89 View Post
    In Somali culture woman tend to control the finances something i am more than happy with (hagbad) lol . but like sister Asiya said inquire with the brother but i reckon if he a proper somali then they tend to be lenient with their wives.
    lol@ hagbad

    man i could never see my self bothering with that (it's a good idea though)

    I would prefer if my husband deals with the financial side of things, even saving. But after he is done making the money he can transfer it all to my account

    joking

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    Re: Marriage to a Somali ?

    patience, shame on you!..lol A proper Somali woman takes care of all the finances.
    "The real prisoner is someone whose heart is imprisoned from his Lord and the true captive is someone captured by his passion" Ibn Taymiyyah (RA)

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    .: بنت الإسلام :. PearlOfIslam's Avatar
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    Re: Marriage to a Somali ?

    sis
    Like sis Asiya said def talk to the bro about his plans for the future and ask him all the important Q's u may have..everyones different just make sure hes a practising bro, so Allah comes before culture in everything inshaAllah.
    "..And verily for everything that a slave loses there is a substitute, but the one who loses Allah will never find anything to replace Him."
    [Related by Ibn al-Qayyim in ad-Dâ' wad-Dawâ Fasl 49]

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    Senior Member !patience!'s Avatar
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    Re: Marriage to a Somali ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Naaima View Post
    patience, shame on you!..lol A proper Somali woman takes care of all the finances.
    lol, NO WAY.

    I can't be dealing with such stuff. Chasing other Somali women for the money they owe....no way

    Wallahi no wonder hamza is all too happy to allow his wife to deal with it. (smart man i say)

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    Re: Marriage to a Somali ?

    ask him if he eats gad ... this is were all the problem comes from

  19. #19
    Senior Member !patience!'s Avatar
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    Re: Marriage to a Somali ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Taayba View Post
    ask him if he eats gad ... this is were all the problem comes from
    OMG how could we forget about that (that thing breaks families)

    if he does then

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    Re: Marriage to a Somali ?

    Quote Originally Posted by !patience! View Post
    lol, NO WAY.

    I can't be dealing with such stuff. Chasing other Somali women for the money they owe....no way

    Wallahi no wonder hamza is all too happy to allow his wife to deal with it. (smart man i say)
    lol sis. Having control over the finances works in your favour - it's not just about the hagbad either sis. Women control the wealth more so than men.

    Remember the rule: What's his is yours, but what's yours, is yours.
    "The real prisoner is someone whose heart is imprisoned from his Lord and the true captive is someone captured by his passion" Ibn Taymiyyah (RA)

  21. #21
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    Re: Marriage to a Somali ?

    trust me , although i am a somali...this is a very unbiased opinion...somali men are GREATTT!!!!

    Very respectful and sweet, most of them (the ones that practice the deen properly) try to the best of their ability to be the ideal husband....and don't have that stupid mentality of my job is to "support and be in charge" ..they know it's not that simple...all in all mabrook.. obviously pray istikhara...look at how he treats his mom and family..that's how you can get a good idea.may allah guide you to the better decision..

    no in the somali culture if you get hitched you get your own place with all the furniture and everything...your a brand new family and you deserve everything that should come wit it...unless of course you would rather move in with the inlaws or something because ya'll are students or can't afford it or anything like that...the waliima's are usually all about food and quran for men and for the women , they dress you up and we party all night till hubby shows up and steals you for the rest of the night...but ya ...somali men rock ...oh ya ..they act tough but their just big softies at home
    “Curiosity is the very basis of education and if you tell me that curiosity killed the cat, I say only the cat died nobly.”

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    Senior Member !patience!'s Avatar
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    Re: Marriage to a Somali ?

    Quote Originally Posted by layla tul qadr View Post
    trust me , although i am a somali...this is a very unbiased opinion...somali men are GREATTT!!!!

    Very respectful and sweet, most of them (the ones that practice the deen properly) try to the best of their ability to be the ideal husband....and don't have that stupid mentality of my job is to "support and be in charge" ..they know it's not that simple...all in all mabrook.. obviously pray istikhara...look at how he treats his mom and family..that's how you can get a good idea.may allah guide you to the better decision..

    no in the somali culture if you get hitched you get your own place with all the furniture and everything...your a brand new family and you deserve everything that should come wit it...unless of course you would rather move in with the inlaws or something because ya'll are students or can't afford it or anything like that...the waliima's are usually all about food and quran for men and for the women , they dress you up and we party all night till hubby shows up and steals you for the rest of the night...but ya ...somali men rock ...oh ya ..they act tough but their just big softies at home

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    Re: Marriage to a Somali ?

    Quote Originally Posted by layla tul qadr View Post
    trust me , although i am a somali...this is a very unbiased opinion...somali men are GREATTT!!!!

    .oh ya ..they act tough but their just big softies at home
    Im sad to say that is true in 90% of the cases lol
    and if he eats qad then you gotta tell the bro to take a hike that stuff is poison

  24. #24
    Odan layla tul qadr's Avatar
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    Re: Marriage to a Somali ?

    Quote Originally Posted by hamza89 View Post
    Im sad to say that is true in 90% of the cases lol
    and if he eats qad then you gotta tell the bro to take a hike that stuff is poison
    ya subhanallah.....insha'allah we won't have to come across that 10%
    may allah guide them...that stuff is poisin to the soul .loss in apetite and overall laziness ..they become useless

    hey id you mean true in 90% of cases or not true ?
    “Curiosity is the very basis of education and if you tell me that curiosity killed the cat, I say only the cat died nobly.”

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    Odan RaineR's Avatar
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    Re: Marriage to a Somali ?

    Quote Originally Posted by servant0frahman View Post
    somali eat rice and a lot of banana!..
    lol nice one. But she was asking from a marriage point of view.
    hope u can help her out instead of joking around, Inshallah.
    There is no such thing as an Israel,
    It is occupied-palestine


    Should the Jews have been given a homeland?

    YES...........in germany,

    the world should have given the jews germany as payment for the holocaust

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    Re: Marriage to a Somali ?

    May Allah (swt) bless Somali men, and make their duties as a husband easy for them, and may He grant them patience & strength. AMEEN!

    I can't see myself with other than a Somali man.
    "The real prisoner is someone whose heart is imprisoned from his Lord and the true captive is someone captured by his passion" Ibn Taymiyyah (RA)

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    Odan RaineR's Avatar
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    Re: Marriage to a Somali ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Naaima View Post
    May Allah (swt) bless Somali men, and make their duties as a husband easy for them, and may He grant them patience & strength. AMEEN!

    I can't see myself with other than a Somali man.
    lol inshallah soon
    There is no such thing as an Israel,
    It is occupied-palestine


    Should the Jews have been given a homeland?

    YES...........in germany,

    the world should have given the jews germany as payment for the holocaust

  28. #28
    Senior Member !patience!'s Avatar
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    Re: Marriage to a Somali ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Naaima View Post
    May Allah (swt) bless Somali men, and make their duties as a husband easy for them, and may He grant them patience & strength. AMEEN!

    I can't see myself with other than a Somali man.
    lol, awwwwwwwwww mashAllah sis.........i can


    how about you and hamza?

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    Re: Marriage to a Somali ?

    RaineR, Insha-Allah lol

    patience, I'm beginin' to doubt you're a Somali now. Do you even eat banana with every meal? How many cups of tea do you drink a day?
    "The real prisoner is someone whose heart is imprisoned from his Lord and the true captive is someone captured by his passion" Ibn Taymiyyah (RA)

  30. #30
    Senior Member !patience!'s Avatar
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    Re: Marriage to a Somali ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Naaima View Post
    RaineR, Insha-Allah lol

    patience, I'm beginin' to doubt you're a Somali now. Do you even eat banana with every meal? How many cups of tea do you drink a day?
    me, no tea, my parents on the other hand drink at least 6 cups each

  31. #31
    Senior Member !patience!'s Avatar
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    Re: Marriage to a Somali ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Naaima View Post
    RaineR, Insha-Allah lol

    patience, I'm beginin' to doubt you're a Somali now. Do you even eat banana with every meal? How many cups of tea do you drink a day?
    i so wanted to rep you for that (it was funny) but it says i have rep't too many people in 24 hours

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    Re: Marriage to a Somali ?

    Quote Originally Posted by !patience! View Post
    i so wanted to rep you for that (it was funny) but it says i have rep't too many people in 24 hours
    lol, aww bless sis.Thanks. I just got the hang of this reppin' thing. lol.

    May Allah (swt) bless your parents. Ameen.

    I can't start my day without a cup of tea lol.

    You need some serious dhaqan celis ( this is when Somali youth are sent back home in order to become better acquainted with their culture)
    "The real prisoner is someone whose heart is imprisoned from his Lord and the true captive is someone captured by his passion" Ibn Taymiyyah (RA)

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    Boom Boom Afridi Zebunissa's Avatar
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    Re: Marriage to a Somali ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Naaima View Post
    Asalaamu Alaikum sis,

    You're not expected to live with his family. It's not a practice common amongst Somalis.

    But, I think you should discuss it with him just to be sure, and see how he feels about it.

    Somalis are extremely family oriented, just like most Muslims. Family is really important, and the maintainin' of kinship.

    His parents will treat you like their own daughter, as they should.

    Most Somali women are not the submissive type, they're known for being strong minded and active. They tend to run the household, includin' the finances. Most Somali men don't mind if their wife decides to work, but you'll also find some Somali men who are more traditional, and prefer their wife stays at home, these tend to be the older ones.

    Wish you all the best.
    Now I'm Asian but the Somali's I've seen whoa they're tough cookies, wouldn't wanna get on their wrong side.

    Somali women look propa tough like 'raaaaaaah don't mess with me or I'ma slap u silly'! Nope I wouldn't wanna get in a fight with a Somali sis! lol

    Just an observation

  34. #34
    Senior Member !patience!'s Avatar
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    Re: Marriage to a Somali ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Naaima View Post
    lol, aww bless sis.Thanks. I just got the hang of this reppin' thing. lol.

    May Allah (swt) bless your parents. Ameen.

    I can't start my day without a cup of tea lol.

    You need some serious dhaqan celis ( this is when Somali youth are sent back home in order to become better acquainted with their culture)
    lol do u think
    and ameen to the dua

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    Re: Marriage to a Somali ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Zebunissa View Post
    Now I'm Asian but the Somali's I've seen whoa they're tough cookies, wouldn't wanna get on their wrong side.

    Somali women look propa tough like 'raaaaaaah don't mess with me or I'ma slap u silly'! Nope I wouldn't wanna get in a fight with a Somali sis! lol

    Just an observation
    LOL @ slap you silly
    "Then Which Of The Favours Of Your Lord Will You Deny"

    Surah Ar Rahman

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    Re: Marriage to a Somali ?

    Asian culture and Somali culture are two worlds apart , the weddings are different they have a long celebration like 3 days i think , we however don't.
    Culture is a beautiful thing if its used within the limits of Islam

  37. #37
    في أستراليا truepath's Avatar
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    Re: Marriage to a Somali ?

    لا أريد مِنْكُمْ جَزَاء وَلا شُكُورًا

  38. #38
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    Re: Marriage to a Somali ?

    Quote Originally Posted by CryingForGaza View Post
    LOL @ slap you silly
    Yeah trust me I feel kinda intimidated. I'm the typical Pakistani conditioned by parents -softie type I wish I could be more of a tough cookie like the Somali sisters.

  39. #39
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    Re: Marriage to a Somali ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Zebunissa View Post
    Now I'm Asian but the Somali's I've seen whoa they're tough cookies, wouldn't wanna get on their wrong side.

    Somali women look propa tough like 'raaaaaaah don't mess with me or I'ma slap u silly'! Nope I wouldn't wanna get in a fight with a Somali sis! lol

    Just an observation
    lol, yeah, you better not cross a Somali woman.

    They're tough, and they have to be considerin' they had to deal with the tough environment they were brought up in. They have to be strong for their family, especially the children. They always tend to put their children first, just like any other women would.
    "The real prisoner is someone whose heart is imprisoned from his Lord and the true captive is someone captured by his passion" Ibn Taymiyyah (RA)

  40. #40
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    Re: Marriage to a Somali ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Zebunissa View Post
    Yeah trust me I feel kinda intimidated. I'm the typical Pakistani conditioned by parents -softie type I wish I could be more of a tough cookie like the Somali sisters.
    aww bless you, my somalian friend is crazy, she threw a chair into a window in school because some girl pull her hijab off.
    "Then Which Of The Favours Of Your Lord Will You Deny"

    Surah Ar Rahman


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