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  1. #1
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    What do practicing muslim men expect from their wives?

    Salam,

    I dont know if this topic has already been opened once but Brothers can you please give me a list of expectations that you have for your wife according to the rulings of islam i.e how you expect them to act towards you, their duties and behaviour.

    JhazakhAllahu Khayr

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    Very happy bunny -:) KeeKee's Avatar
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    Re: What do practicing muslim men expect from their wives?

    good q
    The enforcement of Muslim Brotherhood is the greatest social ideal of Islam. On it was based the Prophet's (SAW) sermon on his last pilgrimage, and Islam cannot be completely realized until this ideal is achieved. '
    (Shaikh Maulana Muhammad Yusuf)
    In Lam Takun Ghaadiban Annee Falaa Ubaalee...

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    في أستراليا truepath's Avatar
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    Re: What do practicing muslim men expect from their wives?

    Extensive research work has already been done on this topic quite a fewtimes. However, I haven't given this input so far. So here is what i feel.

    So, as long as she implements ASAP Methodology in our lives, I am happy.
    لا أريد مِنْكُمْ جَزَاء وَلا شُكُورًا

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    Counting down... EastLondon_Bro's Avatar
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    Re: What do practicing muslim men expect from their wives?

    ia if she follows the teaching of muhammad (pbuh) she can never go wrong really. A sister could maybe perhaps look at the life khadija (ra) and how she supported the prophet ia you'll find a gem of a story.

    Many sisters want to take over the kitchen lol, but in most cases practicing bro are more than happy to help.

    just to list down a few points from the top my head, she should be highlite in his day as in, he should look forward going home from his day. She should have good character and deen. Thats about it really. You could say others like cooking and cleaning but these are shared duties so i dont think i'll include.
    Last edited by EastLondon_Bro; 17-02-09 at 01:22 PM.
    ...and InshAllah i remind myself before i remind others.

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    Simple minds please simple things.

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    Odan .Abu.Rambo.'s Avatar
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    Re: What do practicing muslim men expect from their wives?

    Just do be a good companion and not comprise beliefs what else could you ask for
    ‎"Listen with the ears of tolerance. See through the eyes of compassion. Speak with the language of love."
    Rumi RahimuAllah.

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    شهيد إن شاء الله
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    Re: What do practicing muslim men expect from their wives?

    salam.

    to pray 5 times a day, and to obey Allah's commandments.

    anything else can be talked and agreed/disagreed on during the marrage.

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    Re: What do practicing muslim men expect from their wives?

    Quote Originally Posted by fatima87 View Post
    Salam,

    I dont know if this topic has already been opened once but Brothers can you please give me a list of expectations that you have for your wife according to the rulings of islam i.e how you expect them to act towards you, their duties and behaviour.

    JhazakhAllahu Khayr
    Men tend to have different expectations before and after they get married, i thought you women would know that by now.

    But basics would be to, do the basics of Islam, like to pray, cover, not to abuse her or the guys rights, protect each others honour etc.

    It works both ways, although im sure your aware most men these days are useless, hence why a lot divorce after a while or simply sitting at home claiming benefits for no reason etc. Women should just be more clever and look deeper into the situation before they get married.
    Last edited by Sipahi; 18-02-09 at 10:37 AM.

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    Re: What do practicing muslim men expect from their wives?

    to be a queen
    And i'm not talking cleopatra or elizabeth queen

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    Odan ImperfectBeauty's Avatar
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    Re: What do practicing muslim men expect from their wives?

    Quote Originally Posted by AminQ View Post
    to be a queen
    And i'm not talking cleopatra or elizabeth queen


    Ive always wondered what practicing men expect from their wivesss, it isnt much really is it


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    Abu Butterbean Basil al-Mamluk's Avatar
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    Re: What do practicing muslim men expect from their wives?

    5 or 6 kids
    قُلْ يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ هَادُوا إِن زَعَمْتُمْ أَنَّكُمْ أَوْلِيَاء لِلَّهِ مِن دُونِ النَّاسِ فَتَمَنَّوُا الْمَوْتَ إِن كُنتُمْ صَادِقِينَ
    وَلَا يَتَمَنَّوْنَهُ أَبَدًا بِمَا قَدَّمَتْ أَيْدِيهِمْ وَاللَّهُ عَلِيمٌ بِالظَّالِمِينَ
    قُلْ إِنَّ الْمَوْتَ الَّذِي تَفِرُّونَ مِنْهُ فَإِنَّهُ مُلَاقِيكُمْ ثُمَّ تُرَدُّونَ إِلَى عَالِمِ الْغَيْبِ وَالشَّهَادَةِ فَيُنَبِّئُكُم بِمَا كُنتُمْ تَعْمَلُونَ


    صدق الله العظيم

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    Re: What do practicing muslim men expect from their wives?

    ImperfectBeauty...
    Ok the word "expect" is too much, let's say it's a wish

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    Re: What do practicing muslim men expect from their wives?

    Quote Originally Posted by AminQ View Post
    to be a queen
    And i'm not talking cleopatra or elizabeth queen
    But yeah...

    Quote Originally Posted by Basil al-Mamluk View Post
    5 or 6 kids
    That would be mean, marrying her just for having kids... She's not some machine...
    Ya Muqallib al-Quloob, thabbit qalbi 'alaa Deenik
    O' Converter of Hearts, make my heart steadfast upon Thy Way
    We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.

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    Odan ImperfectBeauty's Avatar
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    Re: What do practicing muslim men expect from their wives?

    Quote Originally Posted by Basil al-Mamluk View Post
    5 or 6 kids




    A wife is someone you spend the rest of your life with, you spend each moment with her and go through all the happy and sad times with her beside you, shez not someone you marry to get "5 or 6 kids"
    Last edited by ImperfectBeauty; 18-02-09 at 04:53 PM.

  15. #15
    Abu Butterbean Basil al-Mamluk's Avatar
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    Re: What do practicing muslim men expect from their wives?

    Quote Originally Posted by ImperfectBeauty View Post


    A wife is someone you spend the rest of your life with, you spend each moment with her and go through all the happy and sad times with her beside you, shez not someone you marry to get "5 or 6 kids"
    People get really fired up about this kinda stuff huh?

    Isn't this the kinda stuff you should talk with her about at a sit-down, rather than some random post online?

    If you want my serious expectations:

    - Understand the gender roles as it relates to a muslim household (i.e. I want a mother and wife, not a roommate and co-earner).

    - Be there both for myself and our children... no babysitters or raising the children via tv.

    - Love really isn't an issue since I don't believe in it; companionship is a good thing though.

    - Don't be unpleasant to be around; I make it a point not to take "a bad day" out on anyone else and she shouldn't either.

    - Stay on the haqq.

    - 5 or 6 kids, the more to pray for us after we die, the better.

    special considerations:

    - There is one other muslim in my family; inshaAllah, that will change but realize this. My mother has already threatened to kill me if she finds out I "beat my wife" ( yeah I know, tv tells her thats what muslim men do) so don't get annoyed if she pulls you aside and asks.

    - I won't deal with "back home baggage".

    - Some things you may "just know" from growing up in a muslim household, I may not be aware of yet.

    - I'm not touching my beard. Neither are you; you do, its over.


    HAPPY LADIES?
    قُلْ يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ هَادُوا إِن زَعَمْتُمْ أَنَّكُمْ أَوْلِيَاء لِلَّهِ مِن دُونِ النَّاسِ فَتَمَنَّوُا الْمَوْتَ إِن كُنتُمْ صَادِقِينَ
    وَلَا يَتَمَنَّوْنَهُ أَبَدًا بِمَا قَدَّمَتْ أَيْدِيهِمْ وَاللَّهُ عَلِيمٌ بِالظَّالِمِينَ
    قُلْ إِنَّ الْمَوْتَ الَّذِي تَفِرُّونَ مِنْهُ فَإِنَّهُ مُلَاقِيكُمْ ثُمَّ تُرَدُّونَ إِلَى عَالِمِ الْغَيْبِ وَالشَّهَادَةِ فَيُنَبِّئُكُم بِمَا كُنتُمْ تَعْمَلُونَ


    صدق الله العظيم

  16. #16
    Odan ImperfectBeauty's Avatar
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    Re: What do practicing muslim men expect from their wives?

    Quote Originally Posted by Basil al-Mamluk View Post
    People get really fired up about this kinda stuff huh?

    Isn't this the kinda stuff you should talk with her about at a sit-down, rather than some random post online?

    If you want my serious expectations:

    - Understand the gender roles as it relates to a muslim household (i.e. I want a mother and wife, not a roommate and co-earner).

    - Be there both for myself and our children... no babysitters or raising the children via tv.

    - Love really isn't an issue since I don't believe in it; companionship is a good thing though.

    - Don't be unpleasant to be around; I make it a point not to take "a bad day" out on anyone else and she shouldn't either.

    - Stay on the haqq.

    - 5 or 6 kids, the more to pray for us after we die, the better.

    special considerations:

    - There is one other muslim in my family; inshaAllah, that will change but realize this. My mother has already threatened to kill me if she finds out I "beat my wife" ( yeah I know, tv tells her thats what muslim men do) so don't get annoyed if she pulls you aside and asks.

    - I won't deal with "back home baggage".

    - Some things you may "just know" from growing up in a muslim household, I may not be aware of yet.

    - I'm not touching my beard. Neither are you; you do, its over.


    HAPPY LADIES?

    Yessss, thats much betterr


  17. #17
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    Re: What do practicing muslim men expect from their wives?

    . And the Brothers complain about the Sisters long lists...

    I must say, I agree with all the points, , even the love one (however, I'm expecting someone to argue on that), except the one where where she isn't ever allowed a "bad day". You can't expect someone to have a completely stable temperament all the time, it's unreasonable. Of course she will (and yes, believe it, you will) have a bad day once in a while; even if it's once in a very long while or once in your marital lifetime. You shouldn't expect too much; especially when they're that unreasonable.

    As for dicussing this sort of thing at "sit-downs", well it'd be very stupid not to do so... But, can you believe it? - Some people don't...
    Ya Muqallib al-Quloob, thabbit qalbi 'alaa Deenik
    O' Converter of Hearts, make my heart steadfast upon Thy Way
    We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.

  18. #18
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    Re: What do practicing muslim men expect from their wives?

    salam

    thank you for your replies, esepcially basil al-mamluk thats quite a list lol.

    I know some people will say whats the point of asking this, a lot of people said they have the same expectations praying five times a day and having good manners and characteristics, but even sisters with these attributes differ in some way according to different people. I know how to act as a daughter, sister and friend. But when it comes to being a wife different men have differnt expectations for example, one brother might not mind his wife talking to him like he's her mate using slang and joking excessively, wheras another brother would want his wife to respect him and speak to him in such a way that she woulnt speak to another person like her parents. I probably dont even make sense lol

    Jhazakhallahu khayr

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    Away. Soliloquy's Avatar
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    Re: What do practicing muslim men expect from their wives?

    ^ Exactly, that's why these list are somewhat useless... I mean, you get all that from the "sit-downs", don't you? The "specific" list...
    Ya Muqallib al-Quloob, thabbit qalbi 'alaa Deenik
    O' Converter of Hearts, make my heart steadfast upon Thy Way
    We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.

  20. #20
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    Re: What do practicing muslim men expect from their wives?

    salam,

    Quote Originally Posted by Safiya View Post
    ^ Exactly, that's why these list are somewhat useless... I mean, you get all that from the "sit-downs", don't you? The "specific" list...
    lol yes i guess the lists are a bit general.

  21. #21
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    Re: What do practicing muslim men expect from their wives?

    Quote Originally Posted by Basil al-Mamluk View Post
    People get really fired up about this kinda stuff huh?

    Isn't this the kinda stuff you should talk with her about at a sit-down, rather than some random post online?

    If you want my serious expectations:

    - Understand the gender roles as it relates to a muslim household (i.e. I want a mother and wife, not a roommate and co-earner).

    - Be there both for myself and our children... no babysitters or raising the children via tv.

    - Love really isn't an issue since I don't believe in it; companionship is a good thing though.

    - Don't be unpleasant to be around; I make it a point not to take "a bad day" out on anyone else and she shouldn't either.

    - Stay on the haqq.

    - 5 or 6 kids, the more to pray for us after we die, the better.

    special considerations:

    - There is one other muslim in my family; inshaAllah, that will change but realize this. My mother has already threatened to kill me if she finds out I "beat my wife" ( yeah I know, tv tells her thats what muslim men do) so don't get annoyed if she pulls you aside and asks.

    - I won't deal with "back home baggage".

    - Some things you may "just know" from growing up in a muslim household, I may not be aware of yet.

    - I'm not touching my beard. Neither are you; you do, its over.


    HAPPY LADIES?
    I always thought you were married. May Allah bless you with a good wife where you both help each other to follow Islam, so you can have a good life here and in the next life. Ameen.


    I wonder when Ibrahim will reply to this thread. It seems odd that he wouldn't, when this is his thing.
    "...And never give up hope of Allah's Soothing Mercy: truly no one despairs of Allah's Soothing Mercy, except those who have no faith."
    Surah Yusuf
    [12:87]


    .:. Perfer et Obdura : Dolor Hic Tibi Proderit Olim .:.
    Be patient and strong : someday this pain will be useful to you



  22. #22
    pray 4 peace Tahiyah's Avatar
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    Re: What do practicing muslim men expect from their wives?

    Quote Originally Posted by Basil al-Mamluk View Post
    People get really fired up about this kinda stuff huh?

    Isn't this the kinda stuff you should talk with her about at a sit-down, rather than some random post online?

    If you want my serious expectations:

    - Understand the gender roles as it relates to a muslim household (i.e. I want a mother and wife, not a roommate and co-earner).

    - Be there both for myself and our children... no babysitters or raising the children via tv.

    - Love really isn't an issue since I don't believe in it; companionship is a good thing though.

    - Don't be unpleasant to be around; I make it a point not to take "a bad day" out on anyone else and she shouldn't either.

    - Stay on the haqq.

    - 5 or 6 kids, the more to pray for us after we die, the better.

    special considerations:

    - There is one other muslim in my family; inshaAllah, that will change but realize this. My mother has already threatened to kill me if she finds out I "beat my wife" ( yeah I know, tv tells her thats what muslim men do) so don't get annoyed if she pulls you aside and asks.

    - I won't deal with "back home baggage".

    - Some things you may "just know" from growing up in a muslim household, I may not be aware of yet.

    - I'm not touching my beard. Neither are you; you do, its over.


    HAPPY LADIES?
    its not really a bad list akhi, but even if you dont believe in love, you will once you have your first born

    and if you do have trouble with emotion akhi, just remember to have compassion because most of all you will love her and please her for the sake of pleasing Allah, inshaa Allah, and tell her you love her even if you have to fake it. it will make things alot easier for you

  23. #23
    Very happy bunny -:) KeeKee's Avatar
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    Re: What do practicing muslim men expect from their wives?

    I'm not touching my beard. Neither are you; you do, its over.
    lol nice one
    The enforcement of Muslim Brotherhood is the greatest social ideal of Islam. On it was based the Prophet's (SAW) sermon on his last pilgrimage, and Islam cannot be completely realized until this ideal is achieved. '
    (Shaikh Maulana Muhammad Yusuf)
    In Lam Takun Ghaadiban Annee Falaa Ubaalee...

  24. #24
    Away. Soliloquy's Avatar
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    Re: What do practicing muslim men expect from their wives?

    Quote Originally Posted by fatima87 View Post
    salam,

    lol yes i guess the lists are a bit general.


    Yes, exactly.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tahiyah View Post
    its not really a bad list akhi, but even if you dont believe in love, you will once you have your first born

    and if you do have trouble with emotion akhi, just remember to have compassion because most of all you will love her and please her for the sake of pleasing Allah, inshaa Allah, and tell her you love her even if you have to fake it. it will make things alot easier for you
    I'm sure he will need her to say it too. I don't know why men think they don't need to show their feelings, and that they don't need feelings for them to be shown/spoken... Let's be real.
    Ya Muqallib al-Quloob, thabbit qalbi 'alaa Deenik
    O' Converter of Hearts, make my heart steadfast upon Thy Way
    We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.

  25. #25
    Counting down... EastLondon_Bro's Avatar
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    Re: What do practicing muslim men expect from their wives?

    sister everything halal in moderation is good ia.
    ...and InshAllah i remind myself before i remind others.

    ASPIRE to INSPIRE before you EXPIRE!

    Is your Boss coming?...Click here

  26. #26
    Abu Butterbean Basil al-Mamluk's Avatar
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    Re: What do practicing muslim men expect from their wives?

    Quote Originally Posted by Pippin1376 View Post
    I always thought you were married. May Allah bless you with a good wife where you both help each other to follow Islam, so you can have a good life here and in the next life. Ameen.


    I wonder when Ibrahim will reply to this thread. It seems odd that he wouldn't, when this is his thing.
    Engaged. Make dua for me. There is a language barrier and a couple oceans between myself and her wali, its slowing down the process to a snail's pace. Sabr.


    Quote Originally Posted by Tahiyah View Post
    its not really a bad list akhi, but even if you dont believe in love, you will once you have your first born

    and if you do have trouble with emotion akhi, just remember to have compassion because most of all you will love her and please her for the sake of pleasing Allah, inshaa Allah, and tell her you love her even if you have to fake it. it will make things alot easier for you
    Who said I have problems with emoting? That lovey-dovey stuff is unrealistic.
    قُلْ يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ هَادُوا إِن زَعَمْتُمْ أَنَّكُمْ أَوْلِيَاء لِلَّهِ مِن دُونِ النَّاسِ فَتَمَنَّوُا الْمَوْتَ إِن كُنتُمْ صَادِقِينَ
    وَلَا يَتَمَنَّوْنَهُ أَبَدًا بِمَا قَدَّمَتْ أَيْدِيهِمْ وَاللَّهُ عَلِيمٌ بِالظَّالِمِينَ
    قُلْ إِنَّ الْمَوْتَ الَّذِي تَفِرُّونَ مِنْهُ فَإِنَّهُ مُلَاقِيكُمْ ثُمَّ تُرَدُّونَ إِلَى عَالِمِ الْغَيْبِ وَالشَّهَادَةِ فَيُنَبِّئُكُم بِمَا كُنتُمْ تَعْمَلُونَ


    صدق الله العظيم


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