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  1. #1
    tellmestr8
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    how is abortion haraam

    i agree that abortion is haraam when the baby is fully formed

    but in the first few weeks how is it haraam? the baby is an egg, it feels no pain.

    seriously i am in a situation and i need to know if its haraam or not. iv had an abortion before but it was only a few weeks old, only a cluster of cells, so i was under the impression it was halal before the angel of life breathes life into the baby.

  2. #2
    *bıɟɐɹɯıɯɐʇpɐʎızɯɯn* .: Anna :.'s Avatar
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    Re: how is abortion haraam

    sister its not halal.
    for the early stages this is ONLY if for like a life and death reason, like the mum will die if continuing with the pregnancy.
    abortion should never ever be used like a form of birth control - "im not ready for a baby" "its not the right time" "i dont want to have it" etc etc. its not valid reasons whatsoever.
    think about it, its so ungrateful to Allah subhanahu wa ta3ala. He has blessed u with this great wonderful blessing and u throw it away Children are an amazing gift. There are many ppl who suffer for years and years without a child, they would give anything for a child! and yet some people want to discard their child by saying "its only a few cells, it wont feel anything, it doesnt matter" it may be a cluster of cells but this is a start of human life u have to respect it.
    please sister, if by "in a situation" u mean u r pregnant again then do not get rid of ur baby. whatever difficulty u are in ask Allah to assist u and make ur circumstances easier on you. and insha allah make tawbah for the previous abortion.
    .: Rufaida :.
    .:Fa Firroo Ila-llaah:.

    “People praise you for what they suppose is in you,
    but you must blame your soul for what you know is in you.”
    ~ Ibn Atallah


  3. #3
    tellmestr8
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    Re: how is abortion haraam

    thank you for your reply. you dont understand though, I am not married. The father is someone who I have wanted to marry since day one but my family and his are against it because of race. its been a few years now and we slipped up a few times by being alone and iv already gone through one abortion, why not another?

  4. #4
    Fatimah tickledpinko's Avatar
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    Re: how is abortion haraam

    I'm personally against abortion, even in it's earliest stages (with exceptions ofcourse, like the mother's life being in danger etc) and I believe it to be wrong...but different scholars have different opinions on this matter.

    you can read more here:
    http://www.islamawareness.net/Family...abortion3.html
    The Prophet said: "The Muslim Ummah is a unique Ummah among the whole of mankind: Their Land is one, their War is one, their Peace is one, their Honor is one and their Trust is one." (Ahmed)

  5. #5
    tellmestr8
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    Re: how is abortion haraam

    thank you for the link

    the verse which gets to me is

    "And do not kill your children for fear of poverty: We give them sustenance and yourselves (too): surely to kill them is a great wrong." (17:31)


    the problem is, i think this verse is for the beleiving people who are married.

    we are not married and we are sinners. we are very regretful for it, but nonetheless sinners, so i do not feel this verse applies to pregnancy outside of wedlock. we have noway of supporting a baby and creating a life, we cant even support our selves. He has no qualifications apart from A level he still is studying at uni and has 3 years left. also our families will never help with us as i just know they will abandon me and his will abandon him after they find out she is pregnant. the shame is unbareabule

  6. #6
    *bıɟɐɹɯıɯɐʇpɐʎızɯɯn* .: Anna :.'s Avatar
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    Re: how is abortion haraam

    Quote Originally Posted by tellmestr8 View Post
    thank you for your reply. you dont understand though, I am not married. The father is someone who I have wanted to marry since day one but my family and his are against it because of race. its been a few years now and we slipped up a few times by being alone and iv already gone through one abortion, why not another?
    sis no offense but that is quite a sick attitude.
    if u killed a child who was born, would you feel like this "i killed one so might aswel kill another one" then were will u draw the line?!
    that is not right at all.
    u need to take a serious look at your actions and make tawbah big time. so you are not married and u got pregnant now twice... subhanallah :s sister u have to take this as a wake up call and turn urself around. really.
    it will be difficult to raise the child by urself, and im sure u wil get a hostile reaction from some people in the community but if u want to do the right thing this what u should do. you shouldnt add to what you already commited by getting rid of this child, the first one was bad enough.
    insha allah make a sincere tawbah. really contemplate about the severity of this, force urself to realise wat a grave matter it is, then cry to Allah, make so much istighfar and just make the full intention to leave all of his haram behind and make a fresh start, and hav ur baby and raise him/her in the right way.
    it seems a big thing to make a full change like this, and maybe the 'easy way out' is to have another 2nd abortion but sister u r going down a path of destruction if u do it. it is never to late to make tawbah and turn back to Allah and live in the right way if u do that then Allah wil give u the strength to go thru with the pregnancy and deal with the backlash u might get from family/society
    .: Rufaida :.
    .:Fa Firroo Ila-llaah:.

    “People praise you for what they suppose is in you,
    but you must blame your soul for what you know is in you.”
    ~ Ibn Atallah


  7. #7
    Fatimah tickledpinko's Avatar
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    Re: how is abortion haraam

    Your family is being unfair to you in not letting you marry this man for racist reasons, and you are being unfair to your unborn child now as well by wanting to terminate the pregnancy...what if your unborn child ends up being a wonderful and pious human being? I'm sorry if I'm going to sound mean sister, but if you've already commited the sin of zina to the point you got pregnant twice, why would u add to the sins by having abortions (murder), and now again for the 2nd time?
    It is going to be tough, and honestly I can't imagine being in the situation you're in, I apologize if I'm being insensitive, but life is a test and we all have our inner demons to battle (I'd still keep the child if I were u)...patience and sincere tawbah will get you through inshaallah...on the plus side, maybe if u have this baby, your parents will be forced to change their minds and let you marry him, maybe then they will see the errors in their ways (the whole racism thing), Inshaallah.
    The Prophet said: "The Muslim Ummah is a unique Ummah among the whole of mankind: Their Land is one, their War is one, their Peace is one, their Honor is one and their Trust is one." (Ahmed)

  8. #8
    tellmestr8
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    Re: how is abortion haraam

    Quote Originally Posted by .: Anna :. View Post
    sis no offense but that is quite a sick attitude.
    if u killed a child who was born, would you feel like this "i killed one so might aswel kill another one" then were will u draw the line?!
    that is not right at all.
    u need to take a serious look at your actions and make tawbah big time. so you are not married and u got pregnant now twice... subhanallah :s sister u have to take this as a wake up call and turn urself around. really.
    it will be difficult to raise the child by urself, and im sure u wil get a hostile reaction from some people in the community but if u want to do the right thing this what u should do. you shouldnt add to what you already commited by getting rid of this child, the first one was bad enough.
    insha allah make a sincere tawbah. really contemplate about the severity of this, force urself to realise wat a grave matter it is, then cry to Allah, make so much istighfar and just make the full intention to leave all of his haram behind and make a fresh start, and hav ur baby and raise him/her in the right way.
    it seems a big thing to make a full change like this, and maybe the 'easy way out' is to have another 2nd abortion but sister u r going down a path of destruction if u do it. it is never to late to make tawbah and turn back to Allah and live in the right way if u do that then Allah wil give u the strength to go thru with the pregnancy and deal with the backlash u might get from family/society
    did you not even read my last post? How can we support the child? we arent even married, and i dont have a wali that will let me get married so any so called nikkah will be invalid and we will be living in zina as we are now (i dont live with him). also our families will kick us out and will never accept the pregnancy. the guy isnt even educated or anything hes still in uni we cant even support ourselves let alone a baby. all 3 lives will be ruined, but especially the baby cos we will offer it a shi* life.

    i apologise for saying "why not another". it came out wrong, i was crying at the time, im so sad .

  9. #9
    ·········[خرم]·········· Khuram_2k?'s Avatar
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    Re: how is abortion haraam

    how can you wake up in the morning and live a normal muslims life doing what you are?
    seriously sister you need to get rid of this other person whom your sinning with. get married. move on. but first you need to sort the main issue, your child. I think its best to tell the parents and have this child. perhaps they will have a solution for your other problems.
    Soon shall We cast terror into the hearts of the Unbelievers, for that they joined companions with Allah, for which He had sent no authority: their abode will be the Fire: And evil is the home of the wrong-doers. - 3.151

  10. #10
    live islam 24/7 dawud_uk's Avatar
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    Re: how is abortion haraam

    assalaamu alaykum,

    one of the people we know will go to hell are those who are cruel to animals, so let me ask you, if you kill one innocent animal why not another?

    see the trap shaitan uses, no one wants to think of themselves as an evil person so they try to justify their acts.

    now this small bundle of cells is a potential human life, it is more important than an animal and you think your punishment will be less? especially as you dont see it as wrong so have not made tawbah from your acts?

    your sin of abortion is worse than the sin of zina, the sin of zina you only hurt yourself and your partner, the sin of abortion you hurt an unborn child.

    lets be clear, abortion prior to the soul being breathed into the body is forbidden but abortion after this is murder where the woman, the doctor and the partner if he knew and permitted it should all be killed.

    what can possibly be preventing you from marrying and making your relationship halal? even if it annoys your families, go to a sheikh and get your wali removed if he refuses over race, if it is his family then tell him to be a man and stand up to them and stop making excuses for haram things.

    assalaamu alaykum,
    Abu Abdillah

  11. #11
    huh?!
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    Re: how is abortion haraam

    woh you fear the people more then your fear Allah (swt), and mashallah you are so knoweldgeable to know this verse does not apply to you? i suppose sex outside marriage is also is ok for you?

    your actions make you CHEAP, jannah is not cheap if you ever wish to even smell the fragrance of it then REFORM NOW... stop your murder and zina...

    I do not know why you are on the forum asking for advice when you seem to be bent on the idea that everything u do is ok in life... I think you are here to just find some sort of justification? well there is no justification for your actions.... subhanllah how did muslim women get so cheap?

  12. #12
    Bro22
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    Re: how is abortion haraam

    You have a valid question.

    Firstly, killing children is FORBIDDEN in Islam, as it was a known practice amongst polytheist Arabs to kill the female born. However, those children were born and you're talking about a developing embryo or maybe even before an embryo. So there are differing opinions.

    In Islam, the most common Shariah ruling is that the Ruh enters the embryo 120 (4 months) after conception. Thus, some scholars permit abortion before this time period, ONLY in the case of zina. However, some scholars, still do NOT permit it.

    These do:
    http://www.islamqa.com/en/ref/13331

    http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/12475

    These don't:
    However, some scholars, such as those on Sunnipath do not consider it permissible to abort even before the Ruh enters. They consider it a sin still, but less of a sin than after 120 days. http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.a...ID=270&CATE=87

    One of the questions on sunnipath states a girl in a similar situation to you. They say to get married ASAP. Do not abort and get married. If the child is born at least 6 months after marriage, its considered legitimate. If the child is born before 6 months after marriage, its considered illegitimate. So their advice is to get married asap.

    It's your life, you make the call. Follow your heart and your situation. Don't despair. With every difficulty comes relief.

    By the way, this is your 2nd time? The abortion is a last resort concession, its not meant to be a habit. You REALLY REALLY need to stop seeing this guy. I know how it is, you meet with him with no intention to get physical and 30 minutes later, you're off to create a baby. Honestly, I'm being stern for your own good -- be a responsible human being, PLEASE. Control yourself and fix your situation. If you can't marry him, leave him. If you can, marry him. But don't keep this type of relationship going.

  13. 26-09-08, 04:32 AM

    Reason
    duplicate post

  14. #13
    Straggler In Distress LastFriday's Avatar
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    Re: how is abortion haraam

    Quote Originally Posted by tellmestr8 View Post
    thank you for the link

    the verse which gets to me is

    "And do not kill your children for fear of poverty: We give them sustenance and yourselves (too): surely to kill them is a great wrong." (17:31)


    the problem is, i think this verse is for the beleiving people who are married.

    we are not married and we are sinners. we are very regretful for it, but nonetheless sinners, so i do not feel this verse applies to pregnancy outside of wedlock. we have noway of supporting a baby and creating a life, we cant even support our selves. He has no qualifications apart from A level he still is studying at uni and has 3 years left. also our families will never help with us as i just know they will abandon me and his will abandon him after they find out she is pregnant. the shame is unbareabule
    If the shame is REALLy so unbearable, why not leave the siN? You are admitting its a sin. Why not take steps to LEave it? Little steps at least. Feeling bad / regretfull is a start. Turn it into action. Leave the guy. Do you really want to be dragged down in Hell fire on your face because of this guy? Sister, I suggest you turn to Allah (swt). You guys should be ashamed in front of Him (swt).
    " The issue in palestine will not be solved by the United States or any western country. It's not going to be solved by Dan Six Pack or Sally Soccer mom! " Anwar Al-Awlaki


  15. #14
    ~ Allahu Akbar ~ dhak1yya's Avatar
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    Re: how is abortion haraam

    I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news but at a few weeks old the baby is no longer just a cluster of cells or just an egg. It is a cluster of cells for only a couple of days after conception, and it stops being considered an egg 14 days after conception, but by that time the embryo is already developing within the structure that is call the egg. By the time the embryo is a few weeks old, it will have a head, a rudimentary spinal cord, a heart, limb buds (little bumps that are already growing into arms and legs), measurable activity in the brain - that's just four weeks after conception! Six weeks after conception it is well developed enough that doctors don't call it an embryo at all, but a foetus. At this stage it looks like a very tiny human being, almost all parts are developed. Ten weeks after fertilisation, all the parts are developed, even the fingernails. The only thing that hasn't happened yet is that the sex organs don't yet look either male or female but half way between, and obviously it has an awful lot of growing to do. 12-14 weeks after conception the sex organs start to look developed enough so that a good sonographer can tell if its a boy or a girl, but usually they wait a few weeks after this point before doing scans to find out the sex because its easier to see when the baby's a bit bigger.

    Some scholars say that the baby gets is soul 40 days after conception, which is just 2 days short of 6 weeks after conception (i.e. just a few weeks old) , the same time the doctors stop calling it an embryo and start calling it a foetus. Other scholars say this happens after 80 days, or after 120 days. But remember, all its body parts are developed but tiny just 10 weeks after conception.

    Unfortunately pro-abortion groups drasically play down how well developed embryos and foetuses are very early on, describing them as being "just tissue" so that people aren't put off having an abortion. "just tissue" is a very misleading term because tissue means a collection of cells that all have the same function. The point at which an embryo stops consisting of cells that all have the same function is about two days after conception, long before the egg is fully implanted. If by "just tissue" they mean just a collection of different kinds of tissue, then this description can apply equally to adult human beings as we are made entirely of different tissues.

    Regarding when an embryo or foetus starts to feel pain, doctors simply do not know when this is. The brain and spinal cord are already starting to develop by 4 weeks, and these are the organs that detect pain.
    Last edited by dhak1yya; 26-09-08 at 06:40 AM.





  16. #15
    Odan MG's Avatar
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    Re: how is abortion haraam

    please dont such an awful thing, you will only live to regret it, you have had an abortion done previously, so how you could consider another one is confusing me.

    Dont do it
    For The Non-Muslims:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlMBkJme8J4The ProphetSAW sed, "(There are2words which R dear 2 the most gracious (Allah SWT)&very easy4the tongue2say but very heavy in the balance.They are:Subhan Allahi Wa Bihamdihi - Subhan Allahil-Azim.Islam- Why Pay For The Disease,When The Cure Is Free

  17. #16
    blah Hafsah's Avatar
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    Re: how is abortion haraam

    if you cant deal with the consquences of your actions...dont have sex..simple

    abortion isnt a get-out-of-jail card, yes you've done something haraam...REPENT..and dont repeat it....dont think that you've already done something wrong so its okay to carry on and do whatever you want, what kind of reckless attitude is that?

    your parents wont let u marry him? tell them ur pregnant..i'm sure that'll change things

  18. #17
    *bıɟɐɹɯıɯɐʇpɐʎızɯɯn* .: Anna :.'s Avatar
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    Re: how is abortion haraam

    Quote Originally Posted by tellmestr8 View Post
    did you not even read my last post? How can we support the child? we arent even married, and i dont have a wali that will let me get married so any so called nikkah will be invalid and we will be living in zina as we are now (i dont live with him). also our families will kick us out and will never accept the pregnancy. the guy isnt even educated or anything hes still in uni we cant even support ourselves let alone a baby. all 3 lives will be ruined, but especially the baby cos we will offer it a shi* life.

    i apologise for saying "why not another". it came out wrong, i was crying at the time, im so sad .
    yeah sis i read it. not to be heartless or anything but so what... so if you have this baby you will not be well off. u are not going to starve in this country, u can apply for whatever benefits u need. if ur parents throw u out u wil have to live in a very basic accomodation, not having a good lifestyle but it is better for u to suffer that than to hav another abortion..
    if u make tawbah sincerely and turn back towards Allah then Allah will also turn towards u. if u go to Him walking He comes to u @ speed... He will make things okay for u, u will get thru it BUT u have to make tawbah and u have to leave these sins behind.
    And insha allah do try to get married to this person asap so ur kid will b legitimate like some ppl have mentioned.
    Allah can make the situation easier on u, but u have to have tawakkul for that.
    .: Rufaida :.
    .:Fa Firroo Ila-llaah:.

    “People praise you for what they suppose is in you,
    but you must blame your soul for what you know is in you.”
    ~ Ibn Atallah


  19. #18
    astounded..
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    Re: how is abortion haraam

    your child has rights too, it had rights before it was conceived. to be born of married parents, parents who fear Allah ta ala, and now the price it will pay is to be murdered by its mother ?! what are you thinking of ? yourself only well boo hoo poor you, you fornicated with a brother because you were not brave enough to confront your parents about making the marriage work and explaining yourselves in an open and honest manner, but you were brave enough to disobey Allah ta ala behind closed doors, and do the most disgusting and degranding act, to fornicate with each other.. how brave and foolish you are to confront your Rabb with such grevious crimes on your records.

    your first child, your parents first innocent grandchild, paid the price.. what will your parents say if you told them you murdered not only your first but second child too.. get a grip on yourself, take the man who has been assisting you in your crimes, and both of you stand up and speak the truth, as the prophet said "speak the truth, even if it is against yourself " dont murder another muslim baby, that is our brother or sister in islam, and we are standing up and speaking out for its right to live, and we will bear witness against you if you kill and murder this innocent child, who is free of what its parents have done. repent to Allah before it is too late for you, stand up and confront the issue head on, deal with it, repent, and Allah will assist you to make ammends insha Allah, if you are sincere.

    you both need to go to your local imam together and get some advice and islamic rulings clearly explained about your situation. may Allah ta ala forgive and guide u and all of us amin.

  20. #19
    ~ Allahu Akbar ~ dhak1yya's Avatar
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    Re: how is abortion haraam

    If you are that much too scared to stand up to your parents and marry this man, have the baby in secret (medically supervised!!!!! ask the midwives and doctors not to notify any family of the pregnancy or birth and tell them you want to have the baby adopted and not inform your family of the pregnancy - can't be that much more difficult than having an abortion in secret. wear baggy clothes and pretend to go to weightwatchers or something - not that this kind of deciet is Islamic, but its better than killing your baby) and then put the baby up for adoption. There are PLENTY of Muslim parents who long to have a child of their own who would gratefully and gladly raise your child. Even many who already have children of their own would raise this child.

    I find it incredibly tragic that in this very forum there are threads started by childless married people desperate for babies, one even asking if surrogacy is halal or not cause they want a baby that much, and at the same time you are asking if you can kill your unborn child. If you don't want to stand up to you parents and marry this man, or raise your child single handedly, at least don't kill the child, put him or her up for adoption inshaAllah.





  21. #20
    tellmestr8
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    Re: how is abortion haraam

    I am glad I came to this forum. I dont have any friends in real life so you guys are my friends.

    After reading what you all had to say and thinking in the mosque today, i said to myself "you idiot".

    i wont spill sugar from my mouth. i commited zina, have already had an abortion, and am unmarried to my guy.

    HOWEVER, the shaytaan deceived me. i am alive, so is my guy and we CAN STILL ASK FOR FORGIVENESS AND TRY AND CORRECT THINGS. THERE IS STILL A CHANCE, EVEN A SMALL ONE.


    no my guy wanted to marry me from day one, its his family that are against it they even refuse to meet or talk to my mother. he cannot force them to do what he wants, especially because he is not settled in life (no good job, career, degree education, or house) and thats even more reason for his parents to say not get married.

    my guy is a warrior and hes wanted to marry me since day one and he takes care of me in so many ways - even if i dont realise it half the time cos he is hardly with me.

    inshaAllah we are going to get married. he is going to move out, get a job and after that return to education. we need to correct things


    thank you all for the advice.

  22. #21
    *bıɟɐɹɯıɯɐʇpɐʎızɯɯn* .: Anna :.'s Avatar
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    Re: how is abortion haraam

    wel cos the guy doesnt need a wali to get him married, if one of ur parents was to b against it then its better this way round? i kno he has to obey parents but if u realy fear u wil fal into zina it becomes obligatory to get married, so doesnt it apply 2 him.
    dont wait til he has move out got job etc etc to get married. just get the marriage done now and if u have to wait to start a proper married life living together etc etc then u have to wait but atleast u wil b married. for ur babies sake its very important as im sure they wil prefer 2 grow up not regarded as illegitamate
    .: Rufaida :.
    .:Fa Firroo Ila-llaah:.

    “People praise you for what they suppose is in you,
    but you must blame your soul for what you know is in you.”
    ~ Ibn Atallah


  23. #22
    Mrs M twilight_sis's Avatar
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    Re: how is abortion haraam

    Assalamu'alaikum,

    Instead of carrying on committing zina.... you both should come clean and then your families won't have a problem with getting you married off, because have given them no choice to oppose to. and about the fact that your family won't talk to you... would his family even take you in? forget that would you both get respect within the family after the whole generation knowing wot you two committed? i dnt think your 'guy' is soo much of a 'warrior' if he got you pregnant, knowing the consequences.

    all i can say sis..... i will make dua for you and inshallah you will get married to the brother and be able to raise your child.... dealing with what comes your way with ease.

    Allah swt only gives you what you can bear

    Walaikum'salaam

  24. #23
    Fatimah tickledpinko's Avatar
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    Re: how is abortion haraam

    Quote Originally Posted by tellmestr8 View Post
    I am glad I came to this forum. I dont have any friends in real life so you guys are my friends.

    After reading what you all had to say and thinking in the mosque today, i said to myself "you idiot".

    i wont spill sugar from my mouth. i commited zina, have already had an abortion, and am unmarried to my guy.

    HOWEVER, the shaytaan deceived me. i am alive, so is my guy and we CAN STILL ASK FOR FORGIVENESS AND TRY AND CORRECT THINGS. THERE IS STILL A CHANCE, EVEN A SMALL ONE.


    no my guy wanted to marry me from day one, its his family that are against it they even refuse to meet or talk to my mother. he cannot force them to do what he wants, especially because he is not settled in life (no good job, career, degree education, or house) and thats even more reason for his parents to say not get married.

    my guy is a warrior and hes wanted to marry me since day one and he takes care of me in so many ways - even if i dont realise it half the time cos he is hardly with me.

    inshaAllah we are going to get married. he is going to move out, get a job and after that return to education. we need to correct things


    thank you all for the advice.

    Good for you, and may Allah grant you his forgiveness and blessings if you really do see the errors of your ways now...however I agree with the other sisters, you should marry him as soon as you can, no need to wait for him to move out and etc, talk to your parents since you will need your dad to be your Wali...I understand that this may be difficult, since I've read of cases where parents make their unweded daughters abort the baby instead of marrying her to the man, because they want to keep the family honor and etc, this is wrong!!! anyways if there are reasons for u not to trust your parents on this matter (just incase), do go to a local mosque or an islamic institute near your area and get help as soon as possible...do not wait a day longer.
    All the best to you, I hope you go on to do the right thing Inshaallah.
    The Prophet said: "The Muslim Ummah is a unique Ummah among the whole of mankind: Their Land is one, their War is one, their Peace is one, their Honor is one and their Trust is one." (Ahmed)

  25. #24
    tellmestr8
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    Re: how is abortion haraam

    Quote Originally Posted by sameena-k View Post
    Assalamu'alaikum,

    Instead of carrying on committing zina.... you both should come clean and then your families won't have a problem with getting you married off, because have given them no choice to oppose to. and about the fact that your family won't talk to you... would his family even take you in? forget that would you both get respect within the family after the whole generation knowing wot you two committed? i dnt think your 'guy' is soo much of a 'warrior' if he got you pregnant, knowing the consequences.

    all i can say sis..... i will make dua for you and inshallah you will get married to the brother and be able to raise your child.... dealing with what comes your way with ease.

    Allah swt only gives you what you can bear

    Walaikum'salaam
    nah he is a true warrior. hes kind, gentle and silently tougher than 99.9% of those so called 'men' out there. yes we committed zina, but we made a mistake, and at least his is man enough to admit it and try and sort it out, unlike the pathetic little boys out there. your comments make it sound like you dont want this to happen? your insecurity is shining sameena-k.

    from what i recall that i said in my previous post, was that we realised we made a mistake, we know that an abortion is not a way out and he is going to sort it out.

    yes we will move out do dua for us inshaAllah, we will just have to take life as it comes, but inshaAllah I hope he finishes of his education because i know he can be an even greater man than he is now

  26. #25
    anaonymous1990
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    Re: how is abortion haraam

    [QUOTE=tellmestr8;2801994]did you not even read my last post? How can we support the child? we arent even married, and i dont have a wali that will let me get married so any so called nikkah will be invalid and we will be living in zina as we are now (i dont live with him). also our families will kick us out and will never accept the pregnancy. the guy isnt even educated or anything hes still in uni we cant even support ourselves let alone a baby. all 3 lives will be ruined, but especially the baby cos we will offer it a shi* life.

    when u knew that you wouldnt be able to get married and that both families are unhappy then why the heck did u carry on with him? lemme ges---U LUV HIM!!bul****!! let alone look after a bby, both of you seem u cant look after ur ownself then y the hell did you open ur legs!! shame on2 !! u desrv everyfn u get in lyf, dont punish ur bby for it! keep it girl..remeber wr gna di one day..nt stay forever..weve got our creator to answer to?? hus given the right to u to take away life??sis im beggin ere..jus plz dnt kill..ma eyes are flowin with tears and am sorry for being so angry at u but sis plz jus dnt kill that sweetheart insyd u! think about them peeps hu cant have kids?? ur that bbys mom..just think hunii..plz??

    may allah have mercy on u and the rst of the ummah and safeguard us from any fitnah!!

  27. #26
    tellmestr8
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    Re: how is abortion haraam

    when u knew that you wouldnt be able to get married and that both families are unhappy then why the heck did u carry on with him? lemme ges---U LUV HIM!!bul****!! let alone look after a bby, both of you seem u cant look after ur ownself then y the hell did you open ur legs!! shame on2 !! u desrv everyfn u get in lyf, dont punish ur bby for it! keep it girl..remeber wr gna di one day..nt stay forever..weve got our creator to answer to?? hus given the right to u to take away life??sis im beggin ere..jus plz dnt kill..ma eyes are flowin with tears and am sorry for being so angry at u but sis plz jus dnt kill that sweetheart insyd u! think about them peeps hu cant have kids?? ur that bbys mom..just think hunii..plz??

    may allah have mercy on u and the rst of the ummah and safeguard us from any fitnah!![/QUOTE]

    no, i wanted to marry him because i know there is nothing wrong with marrying him, it is the families who are wrong, to refuse on culture and race is BS. and yes i do love him and YES THERE CAN BE LOVE BEFORE MARRIAGE, especially with the intention of marriage. tell me ONE PLACE IN ISLAM THAT SAYS THERE IS NOT LOVE BEFORE MARRIAGE.

    a hadith says that our Prophet saw said "if 2 people are in love, there is no better thing for them than marriage".

    your speaking profound nonsense and how dare you talk to me like that you imbecile.

    and before you get overly emotional, read through the thread (all of it) properly before you start shedding tears.

  28. #27
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    Re: how is abortion haraam





    Quote Originally Posted by tellmestr8 View Post
    nah he is a true warrior. hes kind, gentle and silently tougher than 99.9% of those so called 'men' out there. yes we committed zina, but we made a mistake, and at least his is man enough to admit it and try and sort it out, unlike the pathetic little boys out there. your comments make it sound like you dont want this to happen? your insecurity is shining sameena-k.
    lay off the sister, you get me?

    and tell your warrior to keep his pants zipped


    if he's a 'nice' man, he'll marry you, raise your child and stand up instead of hitting at it like a pair of jahil selfish kids

    have you no shame?

    i swear by Allah have you no shame?

    you kill your own child, then come on a public forum wanting justification for killing another

    Wallahi have you no shame?
    and you dare mock others when you decide to kill a baby or two

    i'm finding it hard to breathe

    what is the difference between you and the soldier who goes to a house in iraq and kills a family in cold-blooded fashion?


    Quote Originally Posted by tellmestr8 View Post

    yes we will move out do dua for us inshaAllah, we will just have to take life as it comes, but inshaAllah I hope he finishes of his education because i know he can be an even greater man than he is now
    you do not deduce a man by the level of his education, a man becomes a man by following as much of the Sunnah of RasoolAllah Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him and his family.

    continue killing your children and you will suffer mental problems because these actions are so negative they mess one's entire brain, people get psychological problems and if you ever think these sort of actions resolve anything, they don't, they make it worse.

    i'm telling you as it is, don't pick a fight with me understand cuz i swear by Allah just don't. i don't want to fight with you but i'm telling you as it is, this isn't a rosy fairytale, my heart trembles when i think you've killed one child and you're ready to do it again and for what?

    you think this guy will marry you and want you to be the mother of his children by doing stuff like this? do you want a two bit guy who doesn't care how many babies you kill as the father of your future children?


    this is the 'kind, gentle & silent' man you're talking about


    i feel like crying how could you do this? and what sort of man enabled you to kill his child?

    you will never find justification for killing a child in Islam and even normal people on ummah forum will & have told you this

    Fear Allah Fear Allah Fear Allah


    Last edited by .: Anna :.; 26-09-08 at 11:18 PM. Reason: fixing smiley problem
    Allah and His angels call down blessings on the Prophet . O you who believe! call down blessings on him and ask for complete peace and safety for him (33:56)

  29. #28
    N6HH3d
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    Re: how is abortion haraam

    My sister I pray that Allaah (swT) makes it easy for you both, Ameen.

    Ma'aSalaama

  30. #29
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    Re: how is abortion haraam

    Quote Originally Posted by sameena-k View Post
    Assalamu'alaikum,

    Instead of carrying on committing zina.... you both should come clean and then your families won't have a problem with getting you married off, because have given them no choice to oppose to. and about the fact that your family won't talk to you... would his family even take you in? forget that would you both get respect within the family after the whole generation knowing wot you two committed? i dnt think your 'guy' is soo much of a 'warrior' if he got you pregnant, knowing the consequences.all i can say sis..... i will make dua for you and inshallah you will get married to the brother and be able to raise your child.... dealing with what comes your way with ease.

    Allah swt only gives you what you can bear

    Walaikum'salaam
    come on sammy, u know people make mistakes, and it it is easy to get tempted, true some mess up harder than others but let him without sin throw the first stone and all that!

    Alhamdulillah there are so many sisters that start practicing at a young age so never have to deal with this problem, and many sisters that have families that raise them to have taqwa, but this is what happens when you dont.
    Also if your family have no islamic reason to prevent you from marriage to your choice of husband (race is not an Islamic reason) you can change your wali.
    As i understand it they've already told their families they want to get married and their families have said no.

    ALso what has respect in the family got to do with anything? |Should she not get married because she wont have respect within the family?
    SHould she not involve the family and go far away and get married amongst strangers in a mosque because of this?
    If you leave out the family now, the chances of them coming round are less.

    Many families say they wont talk to you then after a while inshallah come round.

    Everyone knows someone who has comitted Zina, probably some of you in your immediate family (bros, sis, dad). We all know this is wrong, but we also know because someone is deviant in one aspect of their behaviour, doesnt ake them deviant overall.

    We also know that whoever repents is forgiven by Allah, and this is the month of ramadhan with infinite mercy.

    Congrats on ur upcoming marriage anonymous1990, (i rekon u may have given away ur age with that!) Remember the child will come with its own rizk, and Allah will provide for you. Don't worry about money. Or others opinions. It is the opinion of Allah that matters and only he knows your struggle and what is in you rheart good and bad, so repent sincerely from your sins, and concentrate on bringing up your child.

  31. #30
    ~ Allahu Akbar ~ dhak1yya's Avatar
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    Re: how is abortion haraam

    Islamic girl, please read all the thread starters posts, she's already said that we're right and she was being a fool and she's going to do sincere tawbah and not have an abortion. So having a go at her about that still isn't going to achieve anything. Instead give her advice about seeking tawbah and about how to go about marrying this brother inshaAllah. He has to make tawbah too, because he's just as guilty for what went on in the past, and he's got just as much right to realise the mistakes in the past and move on as the sister posting here has.

    Please remember this is an advice forum, praise Allah that the sister has taken the sincere advice offered her May Allah make it easy for this sister, and the brother, to get married and stay on the straight path and raise this child to be a pious and righteous Muslim AMEEN





  32. #31
    Straggler In Distress LastFriday's Avatar
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    Re: how is abortion haraam

    You've got a few more nights left of Ramadan. These few nights can turn out to be the most blessed for you. Make sujood to Allah (swt) and ask for forgiveness. Sincere forgiveness. Don't do it because were telling you. But try to understand that He (swt) isn't going to go away, He (swt) is ever watching! He knows what you've done and He knows whats in your heart and He (swt) is THE MOST forgiving. The story about the man from Musa (as) time. The man who sinned for 40 years!! and when AllaH (swt) asked Musa to tell this man to leave or there won't be any rain. When Musa (as) announced in a large crowd, the man began to cry and asked Allah (swt) to forgive him and to not reveal him, & it began to rain. Because AllaH (swt) forgave him! Because he repented sincerely right there, after being heedless for 40 years! Musa (as) later asked AllaH (swt) who this man was because no one left from the crowd, yet it began to rain! Allah (swt) told Musa that if He(swt) didn't reaveal the man & his sin for 40 years, why would He (swt) do it now? Sister, we don't know who you are and I'm sure MANY People don't know the sin that you have done. Ask Allah(swt) sincerely and everything will be ok. Ask for forgiveness and don't look back or GO back to that life style.
    " The issue in palestine will not be solved by the United States or any western country. It's not going to be solved by Dan Six Pack or Sally Soccer mom! " Anwar Al-Awlaki


  33. #32
    ღLABBAYK YAA ALLAAHღ *IslamicGirl*'s Avatar
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    Re: how is abortion haraam





    Quote Originally Posted by dhakiyya View Post
    Islamic girl, please read all the thread starters posts, she's already said that we're right and she was being a fool and she's going to do sincere tawbah and not have an abortion. So having a go at her about that still isn't going to achieve anything. Instead give her advice about seeking tawbah and about how to go about marrying this brother inshaAllah. He has to make tawbah too, because he's just as guilty for what went on in the past, and he's got just as much right to realise the mistakes in the past and move on as the sister posting here has.

    Please remember this is an advice forum, praise Allah that the sister has taken the sincere advice offered her May Allah make it easy for this sister, and the brother, to get married and stay on the straight path and raise this child to be a pious and righteous Muslim AMEEN
    AMEEN sis

    I referred to post number 24 and post number 2 where she is having a go at other members.

    Sister, she is not the only unmarried pregnant woman in the world, there are others, there is one sister who a few weeks ago posted a similar story and i don't want that sister to ever feel negative, it is hard to try and encourage someone to keep their baby when they are unmarried and Muslim too

    i don't want that sister or any other to come this thread starter's posts for justifying an abortion and have doubts - so what if they can't give the baby a proper life? do poor people kill their children for fear of poverty, do we see babies being murdered in Africa

    Sins have a consequence- and if we can commit the sin and not ask for Tawbah then we deal with the consequence- this thread starter calls others 'imbecile' and 'insecure' when she should focus on herself

    do i regret writing my above post in that tone? no, absolutely not. The guy if he's a warrior would stand up and be responsible, instead she is justifying his lack of responsibility as well then laying on other posters, you know i am not a harsh person but sometimes we can't sugar coat things.

    in my opinion- Seeking repentance is instinctive in a Muslim, what we can ask from Allah we can't ask from posters on a forum. She knows she needs to repent and she knows she needs to marry this guy

    This sister's honour is my honour, is your honour- is every single Allah fearing man or woman's honour.

    This anon forum is read by many- there are confused sisters reading this forum, there are unmarried women pregnant reading this- when we offer advice it is universal in a way- i don't want a sister to read this thread and feel even more confused or any other sisters i do not know of.

    Keeping a baby when unmarried is one of the best decisions to make through all that confusion, mess and pain.


    Allah and His angels call down blessings on the Prophet . O you who believe! call down blessings on him and ask for complete peace and safety for him (33:56)

  34. #33
    Troll Hunter Supreme Saif-Uddin's Avatar
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    Re: how is abortion haraam

    Quote Originally Posted by tellmestr8 View Post
    i agree that abortion is haraam when the baby is fully formed

    but in the first few weeks how is it haraam? the baby is an egg, it feels no pain.

    seriously i am in a situation and i need to know if its haraam or not. iv had an abortion before but it was only a few weeks old, only a cluster of cells, so i was under the impression it was halal before the angel of life breathes life into the baby.
    Abortion is Haram period, the Only exception can be when the Life of the Mother is in danger, in which abortion may be permitted ...

    regards.
    http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

    "O followers of Muhammad! By Allah, if you knew what I know, you would weep much and laugh little."

    [Sahih Al-Bukhari, Vol. 8, Hadith no. 627]

    May Allah ta'ala join our beloved akhi Uncle-Umar (may Allah ta'ala have mercy upon him) with the Shuhada and grant him the Highest station in Jannatul Firdaus

    Ameen


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  35. #34
    sysadmin ting baba's Avatar
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    Re: how is abortion haraam

    Quote Originally Posted by tellmestr8 View Post
    I am glad I came to this forum. I dont have any friends in real life so you guys are my friends.

    After reading what you all had to say and thinking in the mosque today, i said to myself "you idiot".

    i wont spill sugar from my mouth. i commited zina, have already had an abortion, and am unmarried to my guy.

    HOWEVER, the shaytaan deceived me. i am alive, so is my guy and we CAN STILL ASK FOR FORGIVENESS AND TRY AND CORRECT THINGS. THERE IS STILL A CHANCE, EVEN A SMALL ONE.


    no my guy wanted to marry me from day one, its his family that are against it they even refuse to meet or talk to my mother. he cannot force them to do what he wants, especially because he is not settled in life (no good job, career, degree education, or house) and thats even more reason for his parents to say not get married.

    my guy is a warrior and hes wanted to marry me since day one and he takes care of me in so many ways - even if i dont realise it half the time cos he is hardly with me.

    inshaAllah we are going to get married. he is going to move out, get a job and after that return to education. we need to correct things


    thank you all for the advice.
    I wouldn't say this for anyone, but it's a special case here - men, strictly speaking, do not need their family's permission to get married.

    If your parents are fine with it, then you two should just get married. He can fix the situation with his parents later; parents almost always come around in the end.

    If you've got a kid on the way, don't let anything delay you and get married immediately.

    Recognise that any reasons to delay are coming from the Shaytan, who does not want to let you repent and wants to cause maximum shame for you. You should get married and repent as Allah (SWT) forgives all sins, don't delay it as you do not know when death will come (accidents happen all the time).

    Don't worry about the "not settled in life" stuff. This country has an excellent social welfare system - all the working guys here are helping to support it via their taxes and national insurance. Don't let it go to waste and use the system - it will support you until your guy gets a job.

    Also, Allah (swt) will give rizq (sustenance) - many married people will tell you that they found their wealth increasing after getting married (things happened that they never thought would happen, they started getting more job opportunities, pay rises, etc).

    So don't let a worry about being "not settled in life" stop you.

    Also, the Qur'an expressly forbids for someone to kill a child based on the worry that you can't support it - because Allah will always provide. It is one of the worst sins. What will you say when you see this child on the Day of Judgement? And she asks, "you lived in a country with a social welfare system - yet you still killed me?"
    respect refugees

  36. 27-09-08, 02:26 PM


  37. #35
    anonymous 1990
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    Re: how is abortion haraam

    Quote Originally Posted by *IslamicGirl* View Post




    AMEEN sis

    I referred to post number 24 and post number 2 where she is having a go at other members.

    Sister, she is not the only unmarried pregnant woman in the world, there are others, there is one sister who a few weeks ago posted a similar story and i don't want that sister to ever feel negative, it is hard to try and encourage someone to keep their baby when they are unmarried and Muslim too

    i don't want that sister or any other to come this thread starter's posts for justifying an abortion and have doubts - so what if they can't give the baby a proper life? do poor people kill their children for fear of poverty, do we see babies being murdered in Africa

    Sins have a consequence- and if we can commit the sin and not ask for Tawbah then we deal with the consequence- this thread starter calls others 'imbecile' and 'insecure' when she should focus on herself

    do i regret writing my above post in that tone? no, absolutely not. The guy if he's a warrior would stand up and be responsible, instead she is justifying his lack of responsibility as well then laying on other posters, you know i am not a harsh person but sometimes we can't sugar coat things.

    in my opinion- Seeking repentance is instinctive in a Muslim, what we can ask from Allah we can't ask from posters on a forum. She knows she needs to repent and she knows she needs to marry this guy

    This sister's honour is my honour, is your honour- is every single Allah fearing man or woman's honour.

    This anon forum is read by many- there are confused sisters reading this forum, there are unmarried women pregnant reading this- when we offer advice it is universal in a way- i don't want a sister to read this thread and feel even more confused or any other sisters i do not know of.

    Keeping a baby when unmarried is one of the best decisions to make through all that confusion, mess and pain.


    ur right sis..i mean i wasnt directly hvn a go at her bu she js flippd at me!! mayb i was harsh and killin a child rly got to me! i mean that baby is innocent..im actually sorry and askn for fogvness from 'tellmestr8' abou the post i replyed the first tym n da second 1.. im sorry if iv got u vexd! inshallah allah (swt) will find a path of ease for u!!

  38. #36
    muslimguy80
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    Re: how is abortion haraam

    his not a soldja well defintly not an upright muslim one, because a true man a true muslim man will quickly resole situation not hide behind excuse parents dont let me marry etc.... stop trying to justify your actions or blame shaytan...SHAYTAN IS NOT TO BE BLAMED its OURSELF! shaytan will be free from our sins because he never forced us did he?....its easy to fall into zina yes, but if you have commited it then run away from it to never do it again break all contact etc.... shessh just wait for the punishment of Allah unless u truly realise what you have done... this is fahisha evil curroption...

  39. #37
    SicKawcleable
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  40. #38
    0000
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    Re: how is abortion haraam

    alsalam aleykom
    if you are over 40 years old, have a disabled child and other "normal" children. have much trouble with the arms (did two operations) and accidentally get pregnant. is it haram to have an abortion then? Thus, it is not dangerous that she will die if she has left the child. but will not go through a normal pregnancy for 9 months.
    She has problems with nearly all of her body. (always tired, her arms (wrist) is completely destroyed (according to doctors). has a disabled daughter (19 years old) to take care of).
    is it haram for her to do abortion?


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