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  1. #1
    Odan MG's Avatar
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    Manners In Islam : Being Kind to Oppressive Parents

    Being Kind to Oppressive Parents

    It is stated by sayyidina Ibn Abbas RA ,"If both parents of a muslim are alive and he begins the morning treating them both kindly then Allah swt opens for him 2 doors of paradise. But, if one of them is alive (and he nehaves kindly with the surving parent) the Allah swt opens for him one door of paradise. And, if he displeases them then Allah swt will not be pleased with him until he makes them happy." Someone asked, "If they oopressive (then what)?" ibn Abbas said, "Even if they are oppressive."

    (bayhaqi shabal-iman)


    Explanation:

    This hadith emphatically relates the merits of service, obedience and kind treatment to parents. If both parents of a muslim are alive and he gives them respect,serves them obeys them then Allah swt opens 2 gates of paradise for him. However, if only one of the parents is alive and he is respectful, loving and caring to the surviving parent then, because of his pious deed, one gate will be opened for him. In some way the hadith is very explicit in describing the plight of one who is undutiful to his parents. It cautions very clearly that if anyone displeases his parents then he earns the displeasure of Allah swt and does not regain it until he makes amends and pleases his parents.

    The concluding portion states that if the parents are oppressive and hard on their child even thendisobedience and hurting them will open the doors of hell for him. But, this does not imply that parents are permitted to be cruel to their offspring. If parents abuse their children then they will face punishment for that and they will be made to pay for their misconduct.

    The offspring must realise their own responsibilities and if parents do not fulfil their obligations it is their lookout, not their offspring's. In fact, this is great advice and useful instruction to live a collective life. Everyone must pay attention to his own responsibilities and not worry how other people treat them (although this is easier said then done). If everyone, young and old is mindful of this advice then inshallah life will be peaceful and allah swt alone enables.

    Source: Manners in islam - Abu Abdullah Muhammad bin islamil Bukhari
    For The Non-Muslims:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlMBkJme8J4The ProphetSAW sed, "(There are2words which R dear 2 the most gracious (Allah SWT)&very easy4the tongue2say but very heavy in the balance.They are:Subhan Allahi Wa Bihamdihi - Subhan Allahil-Azim.Islam- Why Pay For The Disease,When The Cure Is Free

  2. #2
    Little Zaki :D zaki's Avatar
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    Re: Manners In Islam : Being Kind to Oppressive Parents

    JazakAllah Khair sis
    A small Du'a can make a big difference
    Make Dua for your brothers and sisters, wouldn't you want good things to happen to them as much as good things happening to you?

    http://onlybeautyinislam.wordpress.com

  3. #3
    Odan MG's Avatar
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    Re: Manners In Islam : Being Kind to Oppressive Parents

    no problems


    what i have put in the manners of islam thread that i did a while back im going to do them on separate threads from here on becos i think it is easier to search when u want to look for something specific inshallah
    For The Non-Muslims:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlMBkJme8J4The ProphetSAW sed, "(There are2words which R dear 2 the most gracious (Allah SWT)&very easy4the tongue2say but very heavy in the balance.They are:Subhan Allahi Wa Bihamdihi - Subhan Allahil-Azim.Islam- Why Pay For The Disease,When The Cure Is Free

  4. #4
    *bıɟɐɹɯıɯɐʇpɐʎızɯɯn* .: Anna :.'s Avatar
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    Re: Manners In Islam : Being Kind to Oppressive Parents

    Quote Originally Posted by MG View Post
    no problems


    what i have put in the manners of islam thread that i did a while back im going to do them on separate threads from here on becos i think it is easier to search when u want to look for something specific inshallah
    sis use the tags aswell insha allah that will help for making easy to find thru search. i have tagged these two for u
    .: Rufaida :.
    .:Fa Firroo Ila-llaah:.

    “People praise you for what they suppose is in you,
    but you must blame your soul for what you know is in you.”
    ~ Ibn Atallah


  5. #5
    Odan MG's Avatar
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    Re: Manners In Islam : Being Kind to Oppressive Parents

    Quote Originally Posted by .: Anna :. View Post
    sis use the tags aswell insha allah that will help for making easy to find thru search. i have tagged these two for u

    i dont know how to use tags
    For The Non-Muslims:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlMBkJme8J4The ProphetSAW sed, "(There are2words which R dear 2 the most gracious (Allah SWT)&very easy4the tongue2say but very heavy in the balance.They are:Subhan Allahi Wa Bihamdihi - Subhan Allahil-Azim.Islam- Why Pay For The Disease,When The Cure Is Free

  6. #6
    Sister tanz's Avatar
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    Re: Manners In Islam : Being Kind to Oppressive Parents

    wot if the one parent who is still alive is VERY oppressive...and i mean like it mentalling drains the sibling who is caring for them. i.e. when people get old they become depentdent but sum ppl find it hard to accept it and take it out on the person who is caring for them and makes them feel as though the care they are providing isnt enuf.


    ...especially because this sibling has to do it alone with no help from other bros/sis its soo much harder!
    Which is it, of the favours of your Lord, that ye deny?
    Surah Ar Rahman
    Joy and sorrow are the light and shade of life: without light and shade no picture is clear.
    Inayat Khan

  7. #7
    Odan MG's Avatar
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    Re: Manners In Islam : Being Kind to Oppressive Parents

    Quote Originally Posted by tanz View Post
    wot if the one parent who is still alive is VERY oppressive...and i mean like it mentalling drains the sibling who is caring for them. i.e. when people get old they become depentdent but sum ppl find it hard to accept it and take it out on the person who is caring for them and makes them feel as though the care they are providing isnt enuf.


    ...especially because this sibling has to do it alone with no help from other bros/sis its soo much harder!


    The Prophet SAW stated in a hadith that specifically when parents reach old age we should practice patience even more.

    Caring for someone who is old or sick is a very hard task, i did it myself but at the same time u have to remember also that the parent is also dealing with the fact they are old and dependant on others and that is a hard pill to swallow for anyone.

    When You were young and waking up your parents 20x per night, they did, they fed and clothed u and taught u the right path, so how they feel should come before how u feel inshallah, hard as that may be.
    For The Non-Muslims:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlMBkJme8J4The ProphetSAW sed, "(There are2words which R dear 2 the most gracious (Allah SWT)&very easy4the tongue2say but very heavy in the balance.They are:Subhan Allahi Wa Bihamdihi - Subhan Allahil-Azim.Islam- Why Pay For The Disease,When The Cure Is Free

  8. #8
    Odan THE PATH 2's Avatar
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    Re: Manners In Islam : Being Kind to Oppressive Parents

    parents can only be disobeyed where their wishes go against allahs wishes/commands



  9. #9
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    Re: Manners In Islam : Being Kind to Oppressive Parents

    hi
    how abt my situation in which my parents use my name to take loans and borrow money from me ? I have tried to say no. but they will say 'pity us, how will help us ?' Scold and shout at me. Understand that I dun think they were thorough to find other solutions than to take loans and use my name. They have debts but insist on fancy car and big hses. I have had trouble bcoz of this as since they use my name - I cannot get a hse for myself and my new family. Creditors chase me for money too.

    I am trying to be forgiving but I find it really hard.. I have to stay with them since I am paying for the hse. but sometimes they dun treat me well - and scold me for ridiculous reasons. They treat the other sibling better, and regard her as more pitiful though I am the one with the inherited debts and issues with getting own hse, creditors chasing me..I even have quarrels with my spouse because of them. My life with my family is more difficult becoz I have inherited some debts and they expect me to pay for it when they have issues. My self esteem and hope have dropped a lot. I am even angry with God coz I dun understand why I help my parents, I get more issues and I dun see a way out..

    I am not sure how to be compassionate, hopeful in this situation.
    Last edited by findinghope; 10-10-08 at 07:00 AM.

  10. #10
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    Re: Manners In Islam : Being Kind to Oppressive Parents

    To 'findinghope'..

    Don't get angry with Allah, it's a trial for u and in the end only good comes out of it. Just be ur best and do what's right. If ur parents are forcing u into debt that doesn't seem right, but only Allah knows best. Hope the 2 verses below help. If they are doing it to show off/out of pride, then it's a form of idol worship.


    And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command), "Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (thy final) Goal. "But if they strive to make thee join in worship with Me things of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not; yet bear them company in this life with justice (and consideration), and follow the way of those who turn to me (in love): in the end the return of you all is to Me, and I will tell you the truth (and meaning) of all that ye did." (031.014-015)

    “O My slaves, I have forbidden injustice for Myself and forbade it also for you. So avoid being unjust to one another.” (Saheeh Muslim)

    “O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even if it be against yourselves, your parents, and your relatives, or whether it is against the rich or the poor...” (Quran 4:135)


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