Somalian women and marriage

[Jamaluddin]

I have noticed in America and the uk that alot of them are doing everything 2 marry white men no matter in what shape they come...i see them in mosques litarally asking for white men and not even caring about there imaan

i'm not a somalian nor am i judging them but why are they acting these way?

i dont see pakistani and arab sisters being so desperate

[Jamaluddin]

somalian brothers i know tell me its there hatred towards there own fathers and brothers cuz of the war that there so easily 2 influence

[Kal-El]

Somali guys have a bad reputation amongst Somali women, and in most cases, with valid reason. That's just not the only factor but it's the reason why some sisters want a non-Somali. Some Muslims are attracted to reverts, for one reason or another, and most reverts just happen to be Caucasian in those countries. I think you'll find that, regardless if you're Pakistani, Indian, Somali or whatever - some just do not want to marry in their own race because they're put off by the general behaviour, or stereotype, of their women/men. I was once adamantly against marrying a Somali girl, I would laugh at the suggestion but you know things change.

Personally I think it's great that elders are now more open to the idea of their children marrying different races. Once, they were against even marrying outside their own caste.

[abdusamad]

I have no clue what both of you are talking about. Yes I am Somali.

[Kal-El]

I have no clue what both of you are talking about. Yes I am Somali.

He's saying he's seen alot of Somali sisters marry White reverts whilst Somali brothers are left out.

[abdusamad]

The problem with that is?

[Kal-El]

The problem with that is?

He was saying that he doesn't see that happening as much with sisters of other ethnicities; so his point being Somali sisters are ignoring Somali men.

Personally I don't see that as a problem but its up to how one interprets the whole thing I suppose. I think he's implying that they have the wrong idea of Somali men and its not fair to generalise them.

[abdusamad]

They can marry eskimos if they are ok with it. This thread belongs in the dust bin. I see no benefit from it.

[Raashid]

How successful are they in finding white brothers?

[Kal-El]

They can marry eskimos if they are ok with it. This thread belongs in the dust bin. I see no benefit from it.

What I've seen, not in specifically Somali's, is that sometimes people are unsure of the marrying reverts or, in basic terms, someone who is outside your ethnicity. This isn't to suggest these people are ignorant or racist, but when suddenly it becomes "normal", in comparison to previous trends, that e.g. Asian sisters start marrying white brothers, some people would look down on that thinking those sisters are just following a cultural trend, that marrying white brothers is fashionable or socially more appealing for some reason.

I've heard elders discussing this, and making this point and it seems that the displeasure that may be associated with the marrying outside your race is not based on that fact, colour, but the assumption that sisters are just following a cultural thing e.g. her friend marries a white brother and speaks so highly of him, she wants to find a white revert as well and ignores other proposals without getting them a chance. So it causes resentment and unfortunately, a stigma towards the idea of marrying out of race.

[abdusamad]

This is one OFFENSIVE thread to caucasian revert brother.

[Jamaluddin]

there are loads of young somalian and other black guys in the mosques but they (somalian women) ask specifically for whites..

[Jamaluddin]

How successful are they in finding white brothers?

what i have seen the white reverts are more interested in arab/pakistani women

[Raashid]

there are loads of young somalian and other black guys in the mosques but they (somalian women) ask specifically for whites..

But do they get what they want?

[Kal-El]

This is one OFFENSIVE thread to caucasian revert brother.

True, it can cause offence

there are loads of young somalian and other black guys in the mosques but they (somalian women) ask specifically for whites..

It doesn't matter though to be quite frank. Ask around, many Somali guys don't want Somali women either.

But do they get what they want?

I've known a couple of sisters who've married White brothers. It's not rare like it used to be, but it's certainly the vast minority of the younger sisters. I don't think they generalise Somali guys and dismiss them, but to be honest alot of Somali men need to change their ways.

[GuCcI]

havent seen or heard of this here

[Asmara]

I have noticed in America and the uk that alot of them are doing everything 2 marry white men no matter in what shape they come...i see them in mosques litarally asking for white men and not even caring about there imaan

i'm not a somalian nor am i judging them but why are they acting these way?

i dont see pakistani and arab sisters being so desperate

What you're saying is that you've seen scores of Somali women going to the masjid to ask the imam for a white brother, as if he has dozens stored in some cupboard? lol I really doubt it. I don't doubt that there are some Somali women, as well as men married to white reverts, but they also marry Arabs and Jamaican reverts and other Africans. However, the vast majority marry fellow Somalis. I would say that most Somalis prefer to marry other Somalis but are open to marrying other people. It's not a race issue but a cultural one.

I have seen, and know of Somali women married to white men, but I have yet to ask if they begged them for marriage because they were so "desperate" as you said. I know of one particular Somali girl who was going to marry a white revert, but couldn't because her Dad refused.

Oh and believe it or not, there are reverts who specifically look to marry Somali sisters because most of their friends are Somali.

What I don't understand is how Somali women looking to marry white men affects you in any way. You're not even Somali.

[Asmara]

somalian brothers i know tell me its there hatred towards there own fathers and brothers cuz of the war that there so easily 2 influence

This is so funny. You must be really gullible. I love my father and brothers lol

[Asmara]

Somali guys have a bad reputation amongst Somali women

I don't think that's true. Of course you'll hear Somali women saying that Somali men are not like they used to be before the war (and the men saying the same thing about the women) but I don't think that's to be taken seriously or taken to mean that Somali women hate Somali men and vice versa.
It's normal for men and women of every culture and nation to speak of each other's ills sometimes.

[Kal-El]

I don't think that's true. Of course you'll hear Somali women saying that Somali men are not like they used to be before the war (and the men saying the same thing about the women) but I don't think that's to be taken seriously or taken to mean the Somali women hate Somali men and vice versa.
It's normal for men and women of every culture and nation to speak of each other's ills sometimes.

The complaints you'll find common from the younger generation are that Somali guys are usually immature, irresponsible, insensitive, poorly educated, unemployed and generally unappealing, sometimes even unattractive. Now personally, I can understand a few of those complaints - like the education aspect etc. But then again, I had a few complaints about Somali girls too and from what I've come across, it still applies to quite alot unfortunately. That's not to say either gender group is bad, but what it obviously shows is that there is a lack of understanding between the two to the point they don't know of each other's good qualities.

And with Somali men; I know its a cultural thing to socialise, but they spend way too much time in Coffee shops (most of the day they're with friends) when they should be at home tending to their wives and raising their kids, or busting some effort at a work place to support his family. I'm not comparing to other ethnicities because I don't know much about them, so I ain't having a cowboy come over and say why are you speaking ill of your fellow Somali's, but it's blatant in my eyes that there is some serious slouching on the side of the guys in alot of ways Asmaara.

[Asmara]

The complaints you'll find common from the younger generation are that Somali guys are usually immature, irresponsible, insensitive, poorly educated, unemployed and generally unappealing, sometimes even unattractive. Now personally, I can understand a few of those complaints - like the education aspect etc. But then again, I had a few complaints about Somali girls too and from what I've come across, it still applies to quite alot unfortunately. That's not to say either gender group is bad, but what it obviously shows is that there is a lack of understanding between the two to the point they don't know of each other's good qualities.

And with Somali men; I know its a cultural thing to socialise, but they spend way too much time in Coffee shops (most of the day they're with friends) when they should be at home tending to their wives and raising their kids, or busting some effort at a work place to support his family. I'm not comparing to other ethnicities because I don't know much about them, so I ain't having a cowboy come over and say why are you speaking ill of your fellow Somali's, but it's blatant in my eyes that there is some serious slouching on the side of the guys in alot of ways Asmaara.

Sometimes we, as Somalis, can fall into the trap of believing the generalizations about Somalis ourselves. Somali men are supposed to eat khat and spend most of their time in makhayads (somali cafes) socializing, Somali youth are supposed to be criminals and Somali women are supposed to get married at 18 and have a 100 babies. What we forget is that we are still suffering as a people because we haven't come to terms with the fact that our country has been destroyed. We don't seem to have realized this yet.

Some of the elders just reminisce about Somalia and how great it was before the war They haven't quite adjusted to their new country. There are Somali men and women who were doctors in Somalia but who now work in factories. This is because their certificates are not recognized in the UK, despite them being educated in places like Russia. Some emigrate to America or the Mid-East if they can because they're allowed to practise medicine in those places. I think that's why the Somalis in Canada and America are more successful than the ones in Europe. Having said that, there are Somali brothers and sisters who are successful here. Some go to the top Universities in the UK.

[Kal-El]

Sometimes we, as Somalis, can fall into the trap of believing the generalizations about Somalis ourselves. Somali men are supposed to eat khat and spend most of their time in makhayads (somali cafes) socializing, Somali youth are supposed to be criminals and Somali women are supposed to get married at 18 and have a 100 babies. What we forget is that we are still suffering as a people because we haven't come to terms with the fact that our country has been destroyed. We don't seem to have realized this yet.

Some of the elders just reminisce about Somalia and how great it was before the war They haven't quite adjusted to their new country. There are Somali men and women who were doctors in Somalia but who now work in factories. This is because their certificates are not recognized in the UK, despite them being educated in places like Russia. Some emigrate to America or the Mid-East if they can because they're allowed to practise medicine in those places. I think that's why the Somalis in Canada and America are more successful than the ones in Europe. Having said that, there are Somali brothers and sisters who are successful here. Some go to the top Universities in the UK.

That's no excuse as those generalisations seem to be true in most cases ironically. We should rebuild our society and identity, because how we are now wont lead as anywhere. It's already affecting the younger generation who've passed maturity.

[sis_niqabi]

The complaints you'll find common from the younger generation are that Somali guys are usually immature, irresponsible, insensitive, poorly educated, unemployed and generally unappealing, sometimes even unattractive.

you know you'll hear these type of complaints about black men in general. im not Somali. but in America we black women say the same thing about black American men

[Asmara]

That's no excuse as those generalisations seem to be true in most cases ironically. We should rebuild our society and identity, because how we are now wont lead as anywhere. It's already affecting the younger generation who've passed maturity.

As I said, we are suffering as a community because we haven't come to terms
with the destruction of our country- even though we've had 17 years to do so. I agree that we should rebuild our country too instead of dwelling on its past greatness (applies to the our parents' and grandparents' generations lol.........because you, myself and many of us who are under 30 only know Somalia through photos and the memories of our parents etc)

[Asmara]

you know you'll hear these type of complaints about black men in general. im not Somali. but in America we black women say the same thing about black American men

Women complain about men full stop lol Let's face it.

[shamson]

Women complain about men full stop lol Let's face it.

The grass always seem greener on the other side

but is it really?????

[~Unity~]

Someone close this stupid thread. Akhi if you were turnded down by a Somali sister this isn't the way to go about it, but please for the sake of Allah stop talking garbage.

JazakAllahu Khair.

[Saudi Prince]

I did not know that Somali sisters love to marry white reverts!!

[~Unity~]

I did not know that Somali sisters love to marry white reverts!!

I've met Somali women married to Yemenis, Jamaicans, Nigerians...my list could go on forever. Muslim women whether Pakistani or Somali are sometimes attracted to reverts because there is often this generalisation that they are very pious.

The thread starter is a silly young boy who needs to get a life. No wonder he was turned down. And this is the first thread you started, just admit that was the sole purpose of your registration. Grow up and stop dwelling on things that not only does not exist but if it did is of no concern to you!

[umm_mariyah]

I have noticed in America and the uk that alot of them are doing everything 2 marry white men no matter in what shape they come...i see them in mosques litarally asking for white men and not even caring about there imaan

i'm not a somalian nor am i judging them but why are they acting these way?

i dont see pakistani and arab sisters being so desperate

this is just nonsense

ive seen somalis married to people from all races ,jamaican,chinese,indian,iraqi etc its not just white men they go for

wa salam

[umm_mariyah]

Someone close this stupid thread. Akhi if you were turnded down by a Somali sister this isn't the way to go about it, but please for the sake of Allah stop talking garbage.

JazakAllahu Khair.

agree,this thread should be closed there is no benefit from it

[(*_Hamzah]

I did not know that Somali sisters love to marry white reverts!!

That is good news for you sultan

[(*_Hamzah]

All I would say is Somilan sister are veiled well, and if they marry outside of their race then all praise be to Allah swt.

[Raashid]

I say good for them. Somalian sisters have much more backbone then certain other races' Mussy girls. They're quite independent. I support them for getting what they want.

[~Unity~]

but is it really?????

Is what really? That they are desperate for white men. Oh please sister, I don't expect even the women to engage in this nonsense!

[Asmara]

The grass always seem greener on the other side

but is it really?????

I'm sorry but I don't know what you mean. What are you trying to say?

[Asmara]

Someone close this stupid thread. Akhi if you were turnded down by a Somali sister this isn't the way to go about it, but please for the sake of Allah stop talking garbage.

JazakAllahu Khair.

I'm suprised that this thread hasn't been closed yet actually.

[ummbilal]

I have noticed in America and the uk that alot of them are doing everything 2 marry white men no matter in what shape they come...i see them in mosques litarally asking for white men and not even caring about there imaan

i'm not a somalian nor am i judging them but why are they acting these way?

i dont see pakistani and arab sisters being so desperate

if a sister is in a mosque asking for a white man, they must be asking for a MUSLIM, yes...what does it matter that hes white??

how do u know they dont care about their iman?

I dont know any somalian sisters and i hope they are all happy in their marriages to white , brown or black Muslims.

[ummbilal]

somalian brothers i know tell me its there hatred towards there own fathers and brothers cuz of the war that there so easily 2 influence

sour grapes??

[~Unity~]

The more I read this thread the more I laugh. You see akhi I was offended at first because I thought you were accusing Somalis of being narrow-minded and quite franky racist. But ummbilal just pointed out that they ask for these brothers in the masjid so therefore they are Muslims. So now you and everyone else who has issues with the "white reverts" need to ask yourselves why you feel so threatned? Strengthen your iman and maybe the sisters will marry you, stop dwelling on race because the Somali sisters have obviously left all that haraam behind. It is about time that you do aswell.